Hits 21 - 1997 (6): Aqua, Various Artists for the BBC, Teletubbies

Episode Date: January 30, 2026

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Hits 21, the show that's taking a look back at every single UK #1 hit..You can follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hits21UKYou can email us: [e-mail] 21 DOES NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ANY MUSIC USED IN THE EPISODES. USAGE OF ALL MUSIC USED IN THIS PODCAST FALLS UNDER SECTION 30(1) OF THE COPYRIGHT ACT 1988

Hits 21 Hi there everyone and welcome back to Hits 21, the 90s. Where me, Rob, me, the sun with the face of a baby. And me, Ed, are looking back at every single UK number one of the 1990s. Email us at Hits21 Podcast at gmail.com, Twitter us at Hits21 UK. And what's that? I can hear you shouting again, again! Okay, email us at Hits21 podcast at gmail.com. Twitter as it hits 21 UK.

Thank you over so much for joining us again. We are currently looking back at the year 1997, and this week we'll be covering the period between the 26th of October and the 21st of December. We're taking you through the final two months, two months to three months of the year, up to the race for Christmas number one, which we'll cover in our next episode,

which won't be coming next week, but we'll be coming the week after. So sort of like the second week of February. So time to press on with this week's episode, Andy, we all have tubby fever, as we will find out in this episode. Has that fever made it to the album charts or not? No. It has not. We've escaped. We've escaped. Happy to reassure you on that one.

No, don't worry. But we have caught spice fever because spice world comes in at number one to kick off this period for two weeks and goes five times platinum. That's replaced at the top by Celine Dionne with Let's Talk the B. about love. I'm trying to do my you know when Ed, when you do that voice of about love. This is one of those titles really. So that's number one for two weeks and goes

six times platinum. Celine doing better than the Spice Girls there, which was not my memory of the 90s, but I guess Titanic's on the horizon, isn't it? And then Spice Girls are at number one again. They knock Celine off for one more week before Celine knocks them back again for another two weeks finishing off the year.

It's a boxing match between Spice Girls and Celine Dion to finish off the year, not literally Although that would be really entertaining. And that's your 97 wrapped up. All right. In the news, in Egypt, 62 people are killed in a terrorist attack in the Valley of the Kings. The attack is perpetrated by the exiled members of the Al-Jemar al-Islamia organisation. The majority of the victims were Swiss and Japanese and six were British.

Meanwhile, in the UK, Amira Hindley loses an appeal to have her life sentence reduced. It's revealed that one of the great train robbers, Ronnie B, Biggs will not be extradited back to the UK from Brazil. Biggs, along with 15 other men, stole 2.5 million pounds from a Royal Mail train in 1963. That's probably worth about 20-odd million in today money. And he escaped prison in 1965. Brazilian law prevented extraditions for crimes committed more than 20 years ago. In Australia, in excess, lead singer Michael Hutchins dies age 37, with the cause of death recorded as suicide.

In America, 28-year-old Bobby McCorhey gives birth to Septuplets. It remains the only case of Septuplets in recorded history that all seven babies survived. The films to hit the top of the UK box office during this period were as follows. Face off, Alien Resurrection, and Tomorrow Never Dies, before Spice World closes out the year. And Clive Anderson is left red-faced when the Bee Gees storm off his TV show, during a, well, a very bad interview. I remember that.

Yes. You're a tosser, mate. So, Ed, you're not a tosser, but what are things, what's happening in the US? Barbara Streisand, possibly riding the wave of a highly flattering South Park appearance, takes the higher ground. And after that week of pure yentalism, they're back, grown up and kind of pretty, pretty, pretty dull now. Metallica Forgo editing almost entirely on load the first of two carefully paced albums drawn from the same carefully paste sessions. Yay! And making that a hat trick of legacy artists, honestly, after a year of P. Diddy and recycled candles, it's honestly

kind of refreshing to see Garth Brooks back in the frame with seven. which takes us all the way up to the week of Christmas 97, but we'll have to wait to see who is there for that. Singles? Oh, you already know, it's Elton John Forever now. So, Rob. All right then, so. The first of just three songs up this week is this. Okay, this is Barbie Girl by Aqua.

Released as the third single from the group's third studio album titled Aquarium, Barbie Girl is Aqua's first single to be released in the UK and their first to reach number one and it's not the last time we'll be coming to Aqua during our 90s coverage. Barbie Girl first entered the UK charts at number two, reaching number one during its second week. It stayed at number one for four weeks.

Across its four weeks, atop the charts, it sold 784,000 copies, beating competition from the following songs. Party People Friday Night by 9-1-1. Do you think I'm sexy by Entrance? Phenomenon by L.L. Cool J. Torn by Natalie and Bruglia. Lonely by Peter Andre.

All You Good People by Embrace. Tell Him by Barbara Streisand and Celine Dion. Choose Life by P.F. Project. Open Road by Gary Barlow. James Bond theme by Movie. Put Your Arms Around Me by Texas. Never ever by All Saints. I will come to you by Hanson. You sexy thing by hot chocolate. Help the aged by Pulp and Better Day by Ocean Color Scene.

When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Barbie Girl dropped one place to number two. The song originally left the charts in May 1998, but has since made one re-entry in August 2023. I wonder why that was. Bringing its total time in the top 100 to 31 weeks. song is currently officially certified four times platinum in the UK. As of 2026, Andy, you can kick us off with Aqua. Well, I'm very glad to because I'm just going to clear the air on this straight away to paraphrase an old meme, which, whose origin I don't even remember, this is brilliant and I'm tired of pretending that it's not. I don't know what the origin of that meme is. Perhaps one of you can enlighten me. But yeah, that's basically how

I feel about this because I think if you're a hipster about music, if you're a little bit of a snob about music, this is not the week for you. I think all three of the songs that we're covering this week are incredible, by which I mean not credible in the eyes of the critics and in the eyes of anyone who kind of takes music overly seriously, shall we say. But I think all three of them have their charms to some extent and this one is the best of the three. I think because it's a silly, extremely noisy,

extremely abrasive song about dolls that has a very, very commercialised tinge to it. So many people are keen to dismiss this is just stupid tat. You know, this is up there with like songs from adverts, you know, that

it's basically just, you know, garbage that's been put out there to sell dolls. And it's just not. This is really, really good. For starters, basically the entire thing is hooks from start to finish. Almost no lines. I'd say absolutely no lines in this are wasted at all. Like, you get a little bit of comedy with the dialogue back and forth. But the verses are so singing along with that, I'm a blind bamboo girl in a fantasy world. And then the bridge is just as strong as well with that you can

touch, you can play stuff. And then that chorus gets in your head forever. And as if that's not enough the Come on Barbie let's go party is probably the best bit of the song as well thank you very much

Ed I assume that was it's hard to tell I assume it was it was and I'm tired of pretending it wasn't but just

it's absolutely made of these really nifty little osanatos or these really nifty little things that are inserted

that have no need to be there I think the phrase I would use for this is better than it has any right to be

to be honest because it is a song about Barbie dolls it is a silly little pastiche of a then popular trend. Well, I say trend. It's been around since the 50s, but Barbie dolls, they did have a bit of a renaissance in the 90s,

perhaps because of this, who knows. But I just think it's so fun, and it's so expertly put together as a pop song, and the voices are such a good combination with each other. You've got that extremely high Barbie voice, and then you've got that silly Ken voice. Like, it leans into the silliness of what it is. It leans into the campness.

if it was in even 1% trying to take itself seriously, it would fail on its ass, it would fail spectacularly. But there is not one iota of this that is not just pure, silly, camp bubblegum 90s fun. And that's where the success of it lies. And, you know, I think it stood the test of time that I was disappointed that the recent Barbie film didn't make more of it,

because, like, this song is sort of the template for that movie. Like, it picks apart the idea of actually being a Barbie doll and being made of plastic and everything just being superficially nice and your only worry in life being your relationship with Ken, how that's completely vacuous and how that's not anything to aspire to. And in fact, womanhood needs to burst out of that.

You know, that's what the film is about and that's what the song is about as well. So it's really stood the test of time. I think, I must acknowledge, you know, that I do think it's a little bit too abrasive and a little bit too screechy at times and doesn't need to go quite, as hard, should I say.

But as a piece of music, as a piece of writing, and from concepts to execution, I think this is fantastic. I think it's really, really fantastic. And I think some of the people who turn their nose up at it, not just because it's about Barbie dolls, but I think some of the turning their nose about it is from people who don't want to admit how much they like it and how much this has got in their head. Because I think this is in the conversation for one of the catchiest earworms. songs of all time.

And what better compliment can I give it than that? This is brilliant. So I've just looked this up, actually, Andy, and the meme is from The Joker film with Wekiyenne Phoenix. It's the Robert De Niro as a TV host going, you think killing people is funny? And then the Joker in a very subtle way, as all of that film is incredibly subtle.

He says, I do. And I'm tired of pretending it's not. So that's where that comes from. Never seen that film. You couldn't pay me cash to watch it, if I'm honest. It's not great. I don't think it's very good. I think a lot of the worries about it were maybe a little bit over-pronounced

and the hype around it, you know, from kind of film bro guys were a bit... Well, it was also a bit out of control. It's just a very average film. Yeah, it was polarising. I enjoyed it, and to be honest, I think it reminded... I mean, it was so obviously cribbing from, you know, network. is the main one that springs to mind. However, this is a bit of a contentious criticism.

I think it's more effective cinematically than network, but the problem is it doesn't really have anything to say. It sort of thinks it does. And afterwards, I'm like, so what were they all so irked about? And then you just see the same tone being echoed by a lot of the film's rather too staunch advocates online. It's like, so what, is this some vague idea of not being listened to, no matter how garbage and unpleasant you are?

I don't know. I don't quite know, but I did enjoy it. I think that's the mantra we go by on this podcast is that people should listen to us no matter how garbage and unpleasant we are. I think that's our motto that we say every week before we start recording. That's what my mom always used to say to me. It doesn't matter how garbage and how much of a mistake you were. Just keep talking.

It's not bad. I'm kind of on the fence with it. I just, there's that bit in the film where I'm sort of like, the bit I did roll my eyes quite a lot to the point where they nearly fell out of my head, which is like towards the end of the film

where like he's in like an interview or something. And he just laughs and he goes, like that. And then the woman on the other side of the desk goes and what do you think is so funny? And he just says, oh, you wouldn't get it. And oh, yeah. I'm just like,

part of the counterculture. I don't know what we represent, but look at us with our Q&N on masks. Jesus Christ. Very stylish, but a bit smug is how I found it. Watch King of Comedy instead, that's my advice. If you want something very similar, that's actually really good. King of Comedy does it better.

But yeah, with Barbary Girl, I'm glad we've all collectively agreed as a kind of British and possibly, you know, American as well, society that this actually bangs. Not sure if we all of it for the right reasons, or at least for the correct reasons, but I'll get to that.

Like, I think when this was around, I'm just about becoming cognizant now. So I kind of remember how things were perceived in the immediate aftermath of them being released. And when Acra released, their kind of subsequent number ones as well, there was this kind of perception that they were completely and totally, like a novelty group. And then when we look back at the 90s, it was like, oh, they could only exist in the 90s. That, you know, people kind of bought into this as but as a joke, you know, Aqua, were the joke and we were all in on the joke, you know, as we head into this era of kind of like

disposable CD singles and slightly frivolous songs reach number one because everyone thinks it'd be a laugh like Mr. Blobby or the Out Here Brothers or, you know, Macarena getting quite high in the charts, you know, or you know, another song we've got coming up this week, people kind of put it in with those. But I think over time, as much as Aqua were maybe sort of a flash in the pan, I think Barbie Girl has maybe been categorized now alongside songs like Saturday Night by Wigfield, where you can enjoy them as like silly novelty things with a bit of a dance routine to kind of go with them. Or you can actually stop and you can listen for a moment, like really connect with it and understand maybe that the public's idea of the song maybe doesn't match what's actually happening. You can maybe appreciate that, you know, all they're doing with this, I think, is continuing the long tradition.

of bubblegum that has always been in the British and American charts. Because I don't know about YouTube, but me, whenever I hear this for a long time now, it's always made me think of the Archies or Millie Small or Lulu or Ohio Express. You know, the main line that, I'm a puppy girl in a bobby. Maybe if it was slightly more tuneful as opposed to like staccato, that melody feels like it's about 60 years old. Like it's always been in the universe's conscience somewhere and Aqua are just covering a hit. from the late 50s and early 60s or whenever the doll was released,

you know, giving it a bit of a 90s rework and it's so catchy that it makes you feel stupid for not already knowing it when you hear it for the first time. But I think my favourite thing about this that sort of crept through in the last month and I've been looking ahead is how sinister the whole thing is, deliberately so, in a way that seems to have been intentional. Like, you know, the liner notes for the CD say that the song was a piece of social commentary

just using the Barbie doll as inspiration. and apparently Mattel didn't approve. And I can see why. This is basically the fantasy of a stunted and quite sick man. Like if a sex doll came to life, there was this TV and film trope that was named a few years ago. It's been around forever, but it only really got a name about 10 years ago,

which was born sexy yesterday. I think pop culture detective on YouTube kind of gave it the name. People had identified it, but maybe not put a name on it, like Newton with the apple, you know, where a woman, usually of a different species or race comes to life and comes into the life of the male character,

normally in a sci-fi or a fantasy film. This woman's normally impossibly beautiful but childlike in her innocence, which means that she's utterly subservient and dependent on the man in the situation and is also not used to. Yes, I was just about to mention it. Not used to earthly customs like wearing clothes or not showering with the door open. They're usually very heavily sexualized but have no idea that they're being sexualized.

The video that pop culture detective put together picks out examples like Lelu from the Fifth Element or Yuan from Splash or Amy Adams at the beginning of Enchanted or Penny from the Big Bang theory. You know, that there are subversions of this trope that exist like from recent years, I think Emma Stone's character from poor things is like a decent kind of subversion of that kind of trope. But this also feels like a subversion of it, where the lyrics are, do whatever you please.

Like, I literally only exist to please you. I'm so adorable and I'm so sexy, but oh, I have no worldly intelligence and no boundaries. I love you, Ken. And meanwhile, Ken, played in this most cartoonish voice possible, calls her a bimbo friend and just says things like, kiss me here, touch me there. It's actually quite clever, I think, with the way that it kind of slowly, like, It's where you start off like, oh, this is, this is fun. And what's he singing about?

What's he saying? And what's she doing? Does she have a brain? Does he have a heart? Like, you know, oh, God, I don't know if I'm enjoying this much anymore. And I think it tries to its best to lean on this and draw, and draw some attention to it. It's even in a deceptively minor key where you're invited into something with this peppy beat and catchy melody. And then you listen to what is essentially a story.

But I think over the years, people have sort of taken it entirely at face value. And it can be taken at face value, which is maybe a slight fault of the writing. Maybe they didn't go quite far enough. But I'm not sure Aqua can be blamed totally for the public, just assuming that a nightmare is just a reflection of daily life. You know, that's Stuart Lee bit about tax, where he says, you know, I'd like to vote conservative these days so that I can pay less or even no tax actually. You know, I think the money I've got, that's mine. and I want to keep all of that I don't want it to go to schools

or hospitals or people less fortunate than me the money's mine and then he breaks out of character for a second and he says to his audience who are laughing you know it's good to hear that getting laughs it's clearly meant as an absurd notion three months ago I was doing this same bit in Guildford and people just sat there and said

oh well someone's put that feeling into words and it's like that with the song it's like people listen to this go yeah that seems about right yeah subservient woman with no brain, Lothario man with no heart. Yeah, that makes sense. And I think that's ultimately been the public's reaction to it,

which is a shame. You can always lay some blame at the door of the creator, I think. But when their product is so willfully misunderstood, I don't know if it's Ackwood's fault that we've missed the point, if you know what I mean. And then in 2009, Mattel just used the song for an advert for Barbie anyway. So they did approve in the end. And nothing like this ever heard.

the brand, does it? Oh, I mean, they honestly, Mattel had some goal going after them for this, because this is the best free advertisement. Well, more than free advertisement. Mattel made shit tons of money from this. Yeah. It's like everybody won.

Everybody won with this, but particularly Mattel. And I don't think there would have been a Barbie movie years later without this song being in the public consciousness. So Mattel really struck gold, and I can't believe they had the goal to try and sue Ackor over there. It's crazy.

So Ed, Barbie girl, how are we feeling? Not too dissimilar, to be honest. I pretty much had a variation on your theme, Andy, for my intro, which was, you know, this falls into the same sort of Spice Girls category for me at the time, which was in that kind of lazy love-to-hate bracket, where it's songs that I think everybody actually knew were good, but because of the kind of people I was surrounded with

and the particular social strata and set of expectations placed upon us we basically just sort of had to pretend that it was crap but we never analysed it and I think we all knew that the people making it knew what they were doing

and that's in stark contrast to something which was actual shit for instance like crazy frogs Axel F if you know what I mean we could tell that that was cheap garbage in a way that we knew that this This had a bit of, this had a bit more going on than that.

Yeah, I mean, I think this is a great song. It's really lasted. It's got, yeah, hooks for days. It's got about four major hooks, as you mentioned, Andy. And they fully lean into the gimmick. And there is that added element of just pure, unembarrassed Europop, slight abstraction and strangeness. that also I think helps soften out, as you say, for better or for worse, some of those stranger elements, Rob, like the use of Bimbo Girl with the actual emphasis being in the

wrong place actually helps make it cute in a way that if it was written by an English arts and they just said Bimbo Girl, it would be a little bit more pointed if you know what I mean because that word Bimbo does stick out to a modern audience when you actually listen to the lyrics. I think it is, you know, in some ways, well, it could be read as a satire on commercialism. But the thing is, in terms of what the characters actually do and the attitudes they espouse in their interactions, that's not necessarily anything to do with the toys. It's to do with the people that buy them and the forces that make them buy the toys. So in many ways these characters are being enacted to do what they do.

by something behind them. So it's almost like a creepy force compelling these people to live out a live out of fantasy. And I think in some ways, it would make more sense as a creepy song if the woman had any agency and had any indication that there was anything more than, you know, bubble gun brained plasticity. But there isn't. You know, it doesn't have a chance for that undercurrent. I think the word bimbo in many ways is used as quite a. sort of innocent ha ha ha ha ha sort of way

it's not like they're using the word slut or something if they put that in they would be beyond doubt yeah you just say

come jump in slutty friend let us do it again don't say no just get in don't ask questions I love you again I love you slut

shut up slut do you come with the luxury dream car Thank you. Yeah, I say we can read too much into this whole thing. There's a million of one ways of reading it.

I think they lean into the character so much that it almost doesn't matter because Barbie is such a plastic, literally plastic and figuratively plastic world, that it is silly. And the fact that it has the aspirations that it gives people are ridiculous and flat and hard. and have no sense of achievement behind them. And so all of this just leads into that. And there's just the added novelty of,

A, the fact that this works as an actually genuinely propulsive fun dance pop song with some surprisingly abrasive percussion going on that works to its credit. But also, again, it's just their sense of, you know, cross-channel novelty to it. I've always loved the fact that he didn't even bother to put a wig on or anything.

Ken is just this sort of balding, like he's got this you know, right said Fred kind of look. There's a, there's a bear adjacency to it, but he's just like, oh, I'm just here now and this is what I do. Because in every single other appearance

of Ken in anything, they've always leant into the sense that he's a little bit camp, maybe. This is not that. This is kind of like, no, this is woman and man. And it's going to be, and come on, baby, let's go party. And it's so bizarrely abstracted to such extremes

that it does add to the sense of this just being a delicious novelty that is almost beyond... It's beyond the rational brain, and I'm quite pleased about that. And I'm also pleased that it's just a lot of fun. And they're really into it, and they did an old freaking album that is evidently on the same terms. Yeah, I remember the follow-up being.

surprisingly big. It's not weathered the storm as much, but Mr. Jones was a big hit. The vacancy number one. I think we may be covering, yeah, Dr. Jones and turn back time is the other one as well, so we'll be getting to those. But yeah, diminishing returns, but I don't know, I seem to recall Dr. Jones was okay, but yeah, on the whole, I really like this. It's, as you say, Andy, it's just one of those songs that you, you just have to, you just have to lay down your resistance, because it's a matter of just admitting that it's an enjoyable song. That's what this is about. So, yeah, I'm well into this one.

All right then, so the second song. This week is this. Just a perfect day. Drink sand grill in the park. And then later, when it gets dark, we go. Just a perfect day. Feed animals in the zoo.

movie too and then more Just Perfect Day You just keep me You just a perfect day Such fun Okay this is Perfect Day By various artists for the BBC Released as a standalone charity single

For Children in Need Perfect Day is the only single ever to be credited to Various Artists for the BBC In UK Chart History The single is a of the song originally recorded by Lou Reed in 1972. Perfect Day went straight in at number one as a brand new entry

and stayed at number one for two weeks. In its first week atop the charts it sold 385,000 copies beating competition from Wind Beneath My Wings by Stephen Horton. Ain't That Just The Way by Lutricia McNeil? Smack My Bitch Up by The Prodigy. Crush on you by Aaron Carter and Let's Go Round Again by Louise. And in week two it sold 275,000 copies, beating competition from,

Baby Can I Hold You by Boyzone and Lucky Man by the Verve. When it was knocked off the top of the charts, Perfect Day, dropped one place to number two, but it is not the end of Perfect Day's time at the top of the charts. So Ed, it's a...

A perfect day Recording this podcast with you and Andy Do do do do do So how do we feel about This Perfect day Oh God damn it

You know people think Bob Dylan's voice is deteriorated It was probably a mistake Starting this with Lou Reed Actually because he sounds Fucking terrible I mean His ability to carry a tune

Was already not his strongest suit to begin with. By this point, he's not even in the same key. I don't think he's in the same rhythm. But anyway, you might say his heyday was long past, but still, nice to have him leading us in, even if it only works as a gesture. Right, the original, it's a lovely song, fundamentally.

I don't care whether it's about drugs. I don't care whether you think it's about a nice time with the Pond. I don't care if you think it's about both. It could be read as either, and it's, it's, it's, It's lovely. It's subdued. It's Barmy. As in B-A-L-M-Y. Yeah, I just love the reserve of it, the simplicity of it. It has none of the standard sort of mocking simplicity that as good as his peak era stuff with Velvet Underground could be, there was always a sense of it's like, oh, I'm doing something sort of faux-naief, you know, with like who loves the sun, which is a good track. But it's like it's a little bit tongue-in-y. cheek and it's got that kind of edge of heroin ravageness to it. Whereas this sounds oddly mature and it sounds, it's very bittersweet. I think it's a lovely song arranged really well. And basically,

except for the instrumental break, which in this version has a very nice Courtney Pine saxophone solo actually, they keep the arrangement mostly the same, which I think is actually quite a good idea. the problem is it's a cool novelty I'm as I recall I don't even know this was meant to be a single

originally it was an advert for BBC music as such is it the only UK number one that was actually written for an advert

rather than being used in one oh that's a curious one I have a feeling that when we covered inside by stiltskin they were looking for something like that

I can't remember the full details. But yeah, sorry, carry on. No, I think you might be right there. Yeah, the problem is it is a novelty, and it was supposed to illustrate, oh, these are all the different kinds of music. You can hear on BBC music, and it is a novelty.

It's fundamentally a novelty, because it was meant to say a specific point in the advert. And as a result, it basically clutters up what is a song, a song that basically I think it's real, strength is in its reserve. And the fact is the smaller it sounds in some ways, the more touching it is. So you have these opera singers and things coming in, and they will automatically kill

the meaning of the song in favour of actually just being the most extreme version of what they are in order to represent what the adverts saying, which is, look, there's opera, look, there's rap, look, there's people in leather jackets, whispering for some reason. it gets rid of that aspect of the song. The song loses all resonance, but it's still a very pretty song with some very interesting voices singing it. But as if to prove,

what I feel is prove my point, oddly, I've never been a big lightning seeds fan. But I was looking at the people's like, okay, if not Lou Reed in 1972, who would I like to see who is in this version sing this whole song? and there were actually only two and tellingly I'm not a big fan of the catalogue of either

but I'm like they could carry it off I know they could and one of them was Ian is it Browdy or Brody Yeah yeah of the Lightning Seeds because he had a very small plaintive Almost childlike voice And like that would be perfect for this

That would capture that sense of finding wonder In the small things And that sense of stillness And it's not an event song All of the wonder is internal and I think that's what makes it so effective in its original incarnation. But yeah, I don't think a lot of the others could. I wouldn't want to hear them singing this.

As much as I actually like some of the other singers, I wouldn't want to hear David Bowie singing it as much as I think he's got a really good, rich, versatile voice. It wouldn't work. He's too ostentatious for this, if that makes sense. But, yeah, look, it's, I'm just finding, you know, I think the scattershot way I'm talking about this is probably illustrating my feelings about it more than anything else,

that it just feels like a bunch of novelty bits. And everybody, well, that's a broad overstatement, I think. But I would like to think, I think most people would remember this for a few key memetic passages, which include the way Dr. John says the title, Poificti, it's poifect. And then, you know, going up in order of what people are likely to remember, we've got... You've got to read...

just watch your so. Tom, George is a brilliant. What was it? Yeah, that was good. And then, of course, and this won't be brilliant, the ultimate one, the bit everyone remembers,

all together now. Reep, reap, rip, you're going to reap. Just the watch you saw you. Oh, that was. You were doing that better than me, but the combination of both was something truly apocalyptic.

But yeah, you get what I mean? It becomes like a meme and a series of novelties. And it's still a lovely song, but it's, it's just, it just flattens the original. But it's fine. And people liked it. And I get why people liked it. It's a nice novelty. There you are.

What a fun summation. Yeah, up front, I love the original perfect day. Like, the thing with Lou Reed in the 60s and early 70s is that he was a really special kind of druggie. Like to the point where even songs he wrote about. Other things always somehow sounded like druggy songs, like Sunday morning. A lovely little ballad about lying in bed with your naked girlfriend when there's nothing else to do. And yet it sounds so evil. Like something's gone wrong and someone's going to come and kill him.

And pale blue eyes, which sounds like the sweetest love song you could ever write. But there's this ever-present fear of his girlfriend being something unconquerable, incomprehensible, and something you'll inevitably lose. And then perfect day. It's literally called Perfect Day. and it's about a perfect day he had with his girlfriend who he loves and treasures, so he says, and he loves spending time with her. He said a million times that that's what it's about,

no matter how many people come to him and say, hey Lou, I know perfect day is about your girlfriend, but come on, what's it really about? Like, come on, wink, wink, nudge, and it's like, you know you're king of the druggies when you write a love song to your real human girlfriend and everyone just goes, nah, it's about heroin.

And then it gets used in a scene in a film about heroin. and you have to reiterate that it's not about heroin, but like, mate, your voice is full of so much pain and anguish and heroin. Everything sounds like it hurts you in some way. And now Yuma McGregor, sinking into a carpet after shooting up, will be forever the image people associate with your song about your girlfriend. I suppose that's what happens when you write about a day that seems perfect, but just sounds pretty unremarkable to everyone else who's not a druggie.

You are the king of the drugies, Lou. it's fine, you did very well out of it. Would you say that Lou Reed could teach us how to druggie? Teachers, teach us how to druggy. With this, I guess I have very little on it. I guess the big change they make is that they turn the line you're going to reap what you sow from a little warning into a thank you. It's like, thank you for sewing your license fee to the BBC.

You're going to reap all this great art of music as a result. Cheers again. And they get Heather Small in to shout that bit. And hey, Lou Reed is there at the beginning and the end. Bono shows up and out of nowhere, Dr. John. I think the constant changes to the delivery of the vocal lines keeps the experience pretty fresh, to be honest. You never know if the next line's going to be sung

or shouted or whispered or bellowed or played on an instrument. Instead, I think they have a lot of fun with it too, like having Tammy Winnett immediately followed by Shane McGowan's. It's such fun. It's like, you're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday, boy or girl. I think I get pretty tired by the end, though, with Heather Small and Tom Jones screeching over each other in a competition. I think I grow a little tired over how overall it seems to want you to be. I think with the visuals, it's like, oh, yeah, big, you know, good multimedia project arresting visuals you've got there.

good cast of thousands you've got here but there's a purely musical experience I think it's a slightly interesting reinterpretation of a song I've loved for a very long time only slightly it gets a little thumbs up from me Andy I've left you for last because I know you mentioned a long time ago that you have memories of this with a capital M-E-M-O-R-E-S so go ahead

yes I do have as you say memories of this. So yeah, this is a big one for me in my childhood because my dad bought the single and I've still got it on my shelf and it's on my iPod so I reviewed it as part of all the albums that I listened to a few years ago. You want to check that out. Yeah, I still got that CD single and I treasure it because I just became obsessed with this. What this was was this was my Band-Aid basically.

That, you know, the way everybody imitates every voice in Band-Aid and is like, remembers who does each line. Like I sort of have that. I have the passing knowledge of it that, you know, most people would. But this, for me, is the one where I would imitate every voice. And I think, I think for that exercise, for that fun thing for a child to listen to all the voices and, like, learn different intonations and different ways of singing, I think this is better for that than Band-Aid is. Because, you know, you've got, what, Paul Young, George Michael, Simon LeBon, Bono, you know, yes, they're different and yes, they are recognisable voices. But are they really that different when it comes right down to it?

You know, they're all 80s, big booming male voices. It doesn't vary that much in Band-Aid. It sounds more cohesive, which is in that song's favour. You know, that's a compliment. But for this, I agree with what you both said, that some of the changes are just jarring. Like, there's some really, like, violently different voices to each other that are put right up against each other.

Like, they're... At the time I wish someone else. So good. It's just really, it's like Sawyer from Lostav in a conversation with a parrot. It's just really, really strange.

My, I'd laugh ahead of because definitely one of my favorites I used to be such your boyfriend D. Borgia boi thing, D. Which is your mercy of

Bart Simpson going, sightingly. Sightingly. It's a really funny one. And this was my first exposure to all of these artists. This is my first exposure to David Bowie and I vividly remember in the video

I was like, he's a bit odd and I asked my dad about him and my dad says oh yeah, he's quite strange, he does quite sort of unusual music and I noticed that he had differently coloured eyes and I was like, so when I was a bit old it was like, oh there's that David Bowie, the guy from Perfect Day who's got differently coloured eyes like he's a bit strange isn't he? That was my genesis of that. Same with Elton John, definitely the same with Bono, definitely the same with Heather small. I think that's taken for granted and certainly the same with Lou Reed himself,

who I now chiefly am aware of for releasing one of the worst albums of all time with Metallica. And Tom Jones as well, who I think oversings it to a comical degree. I think it's extremely clear that the way this differs from Band-Aid, fundamentally, is that they were all in the studio together, and they very much are not at all in the studio together here

because the difference in vocal styles is just too much for anyone to be like, oh yeah I've just heard Shane McGowan doing a little bit of that so Tom why don't you come in and go you're gonna read it just it just doesn't go at all but that was the delight of the song for me so me and my dad used to imitate all the voices I'd learn them and my dad would laugh his head off at this little five-year-old who's doing a pretty good Tom Jones who'd not knowing who Tom Jones is and like he would explain all these artists to me and it was just like the opening of something to me I think it also really helped me as a singer because that was one of the

first songs I used to sing all the way through and I'd sing it in all these different ways and you get these TikTok videos now where it's like sing the song like sing it like a musical theater star sing it like a pop singer sing it like a rock star you know it's the same line I was basically doing that by imitating all of these artists and so it was just a really nice musical awakening for me it helps that it's a lovely song I think even back then I was vaguely cognizant to the fact that you know this has lovely melody it has lovely chord sequences it has a really nice rise and fall throughout the lines and it has a particularly lovely change from the chorus into that you're going to reap just what you sow that first one that was always my favorite bit

the song and i do think i was a child of relatively good taste for like identifying that as that's that's the rich that's the juice in the center of the song when that happens um but really it's just a nostalgic thing for me and my dad this song this is what i'll always think of you know in 50 years time when it's all a very very old memory. You know, I'll think about this song as me and my dad in the 90s, probably walking down Black Bill of Beach or something. Me doing an imitation of probably Tammy Winnett, based on who that is, yeah, or doing a kind of grisly bono and my dad laughing his head off and just no cares in the world.

It's a lovely, lovely memory. You might describe that as a perfect day. Hey. Or are you doing an impression standing in front of the sea with the breeze in your face of all the kid's favourite Evan Dando from the Lemonheads. Yes. It's a weird bunch of people they got on this.

Because I get what they're going for, that it's very different type of people. You know, you've got pop, you've got rock, you've got alternative, you've got opera, you've got whatever. But it is strange, some of the choices. Like, it sort of seemed like they went with who was available, really, because, like,

I don't think it would have been on anyone with this to say, hey, we need to get Dr. John. Yeah, Dr. John twice. He needs to be in there twice. And Susan says, You know, Suzanne Vega, she's a relatively deep cut at this time. That's unusual to do that. And Joan Armour Trading as well.

He's allowed a word and a half. But yeah, it's just a lovely, lovely memory for me. And combined with the fact that it's based off lovely source material, as a construction here, you know, it's obviously trying to do the Band-Aid thing, but it's nowhere near as good. It's like, it's pretty tacky in its own right. Like, it's got no real artistry to it. But it means a lot to me, and that is ultimately more kind of important

than anything really. And one other thing to point out, this isn't the only time they did something like this. Do you remember in like the early 2010s, I want to say, BBC music did this again? They did a music video and I think it was released a single and they did God Only Knows. Yes. I can't, I think Paloma Faith was on it, probably Ed Sheeran, probably Gary Barlow, like some pretty big names, but they did try this again. It never took off, but they did this again. I think part of the problem with the people they chose is that they sounded very good on paper, although a lot of them probably a bit past their prime and prominence, and so a lot of them do just sound like they're speaking now, because their voices have been ravaged by

drugs, etc. But also some of these artists, they don't sound like themselves anyway. And the choice of quite a slow ballad doesn't really do justice to some of the people. Like, well, why couldn't, you know, it's like, Joe and Armour Trading did some ballads. She doesn't do anything that sounds like this or is remotely in this sort of register. So she just sounds like a woman singing rather, you know, half-arsedly in the lower register. But, yeah, I mean, Evan Dando, he's like a proper power pop kid. This really is a race. Yeah, he whispers here.

He does. It just looks like, I'm sorry to say, there is a succession of slightly wasted, possibly junkie-looking folk in jackets who kind of look very similar in this. But my other point was, you mentioned it was. God Only Knows and I totally forgotten that. Because there was a point I was going to make, which is that part of the problem with the track, as I mentioned before,

is that it goes too big. It tries to create this sense of grandeur for a song that I don't think should be superficially grandiose. And the interesting thing about God Only Knows, it's very famous for that

the cyclical kind of round at the end that the main voices of the Beach Boys do, which is a lovely section of music, I think. Originally, that was huge. There's a version of it that has every voice in the group and all the singers they could get. And it was massive and it was this big cascade that built up and built up. And Brian just said, no, we're running away from what the point of the song is here.

This is supposed to be very quiet, very intimate and very direct. This is one person to another. This isn't a fucking party political broadcast of love. Of love. it's just the love song and so yeah I told you you've really

struck struck inside gold in me andy I'll say one more thing on this that has just occurred to me about it being too big which I agree with it does go too big

it loses the tenderness I wonder if Simon Cowell was aware of this but having a look at this because it feels like an early harbinger of some of the more excruciating X Factor winners singles

like I'm definitely seeing a lot of hallelujah by Alexander Burke in this. And it's not that far away. It's only 11 years away. It's a quite a small thing. It turned into a big thing. So I do think there's some early DNA of reality TV singles from this. Especially the finalist singles that we get, those three, that run of three,

where it's a big group of 12 of them all singing a song. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if this, perhaps more than Band-Aid is the template. I think this was popped on potentially the template for those. So on the 2014 version of God Only Knows, the retread, we have, obviously, Brian Wilson, Elton John, One Direction, Stevie Wonder, Ferell Williams, Jake Bug, Lord, Emily, it's very funny to see Jake Bud's name above Lord, Emily Sando, Chris Martin, Kylie Minogue, Palloma Faith, Sam Smith, Florence Welch, Chrissy Hynde, Brian. Ryan May, Dave Grohl, Alison Balsam, Martin James Bartlett, Danielle Denise, Nicola Benedetti, Eliza Carthy, Barbara Marl, Jamie Cullum, Jazz Dami, as well as the BBC's, Zane Lowe, Lauren Laverne, Katie Derham, Gareth Malone and Jules Holland. They are joined by the Tees Valley Youth Choir and the BBC Concert Orchestra.

Sarelt and John is the only survivor from Perfect Day, which makes it sound like they were all killed in some terrible accident. He's the only survivor, and we've dragged him out of retirement to do this. And the video was filmed at Ali Pally. I think until about the halfway point there, that was sounding like a better line-up than this, to be honest. And then it went right off.

Then you just started making random syllable noises. Yeah, they just started making people up from. Yeah. Yeah. Jamie Cullum, who's that guy? Anyway, we're going to move on to the third and final song this week, which is this. Okay, this is Telitubbies say

EO by the Telitubbies. Released as the lead single from the group's debut studio album titled Telytubies the album. Telytubies say, EO, is the Telitubby's first single to be released in the UK and their first to reach number one.

However, as of 2026, it is their last. Telly Tubbies say, E-Oh went straight in at number one as a brand-new entry and stayed at number one for two weeks. In its first week atop the charts, it sold 317,000 copies beating competition from Together Again by Janet Jackson, Angels by Robbie Williams, and slam dunk by five. And in week two, it sold 230,000 copies in a week where there were no new entries in the top 10. everybody's scared when it was knocked off the top

of the charts teletubbies say et-oh dropped one place to number two by the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 100 for 41 weeks that's the biggest number we've had in ages the song is

currently officially certified two times platinum in the UK as of 2026 again again no I can't I read it all out you'll just have to rewind. Ed, the telitubbies! We have come to this point. We reap what we sow.

Oh, Ed, bro.E, web, web, web, web, web, whey. Ed. Ed.com. E.S.E. has stopped working. Yeah, I was doing the thing that came up out of the ground. Don't you remember? It had the little speaker thing that would come up and you go like, I do remember. I do remember. I think those would be a good thing to add to the real world, to be honest, it's just little speakers that pop up up on the ground to tell you these things. It's like, here, Starner probably used them to

tell you to go home and you know what, I'm just gonna, I'm getting too, but let's a call. Tell you what gender you are. And they can only be heard within a 15 minute radius. And they all transmit cancer and COVID-2.

But that's what they all do. To remember pensions? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Sorry, anyway, before we go down a rabbit hole, I will do my very, very, very brief notes for Teletubbies say, uh-oh.

Um, they try with an intro and some key changes to make this a bearable three and a half minutes. They fail. It's, it's this, this, it's done. It's all done in a minute and five seconds. It's the intro theme,

the short intro theme, to a show for toddlers, hence the short intro theme, stretched out to a single. And yeah, my bell is rung long before time. Frustration isn't the goddamn word for it. Without visuals as well, I've got to say the instrumental break, quote, unquote. It does sound like flatchial and augustic chaos, doesn't it? I'm wrestling with shadows here.

It's like, I'm listening to this. It's like, is it the fall of Rome? A lot of this sounds like, but people being mutilated while being ravaged. I'm not, I'm not really sure what's going on. And I appear to have just put X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, for my next note. So I'll leave it on, on that clincher. Yeah, this is what it is, but it doesn't need to be that.

So, carry on Andy oh oh you too now and again once in a great while we come across a song

that is such a totem in music history you know you can't get you out of my heads or you're all the things she says you know that are so important

that I have to write out a full script of exactly what I'm going to say because they're just that massive. And this is one of them. It's another one, everyone. So here goes. It's a fascinating thing to listen to this. I couldn't bear to listen to it more than once or twice, obviously, because I'm not an idiot. And also, you know, it's just, there are very few occasions in life, unless you're in a windowless booth where it's at all safe to put this on, just in case anybody sees it. But I wouldn't say

that it's actively offensive. I wouldn't actually say that there's anything. like particularly wrong with it. I think, I think it's just profoundly insipid and bland. And that's what young kids like. They like stuff like that, so it serves the purpose. And the lullaby, sing-song, resolutely going nowhere nature of this, like the refusal to go anywhere. It just gets my head in a spin. It sends me doolally, bonkers, dipsy, if you will. But it definitely has a hypnotic element to it, which I think lies in its sheer simplicity. There's no complexity whatsoever here. There's nothing, apart from those weird chaotic sounds,

there's nothing remotely challenging. In fact, it's quite funny to imagine how it would sound if it was given like a massive Hendrix guitar solo or it was given like the kind of jazz flourishes you might hear in the film La La Land. Or does it leave you po-faced? I've got more to say it. But the tubbies themselves occupy a space in our culture

that I think is somewhat timeless. They're so alien, they're so strange, they're so unlocatable within this world that telly-tobbies might as well have been made in the 70s or the 2020s. I don't think you can tell. It's genuinely timeless, I think. And I think that's part of the key to their success.

And they do have a certain naive charm to them as characters, which I'm always up for. That smiley, unthreatening confidence that you might associate with Daniel Radcliffe or a well-trained, well-adjusted, dog or the Star Wars character, Poe. And thus it was that when I listened to this, although it's intrinsically unbearable, I do find myself smiling along.

Like there's an extra element of light in the world for these few minutes. Like I was looking up at the night sky and seeing a tiny, tinkly little star briefly shining as though it's winking to me. Tinky winky, if you will. Next time I come downstairs of a morning, full of the groggy feeling of another day of work and chores ahead, I think it might be nice to just pop the telly tubbies on to add a little bit of lightness to my day

as I sit down with my usual breakfast of well-worned, crispy bread. And of course I don't go for thin slices of that. I only like tubby toast. Oh! I am so sorry for breaking into that with an inferior joke. apologies. It's not finished. So if you're going to decry this as the worst thing ever made,

I think that's a very easy but an overly dismissive point of view to take. Yes, this is a shit thing for babies. But all of us were once babies too, so it's still inside us somewhere. So if you're telling me that this is irredeemable, with no possible joy to be found for adults, I would firmly say, no, no, that isn't true. So to conclude, I wouldn't say it's totally awful,

and I wouldn't call it any good. either. I think I would best categorise this and the TV show in general as extremely odd with capital letters. A mantra to follow whenever you watch telitubbies. Extremely odd. Or for short, uh-oh. You know, Andy, I think when the creators of the telitubbies hear this, still running apparently, by the way, there was a bit of a revival, uh, semi-recently. But I think when they hear it, they would want to give you, um,

Big. But welcome to our love hugs. That's great. Okay, I have produced three sentences on this, and they are as follows. I loved the Teletubbies in 1997 when I was three years old. I probably made my parents go out and buy this single on CD or cassette tape. I'm very, very sorry. It's not for adults.

It's not to be taken. seriously, it's sadly something I can't get on board with. That, as you were saying, had the instrumental section, which is then interrupted by the the sheep. The sound effect, I, you know,

ironically, so you know, the sheep episode of Father Ted? No, I've not seen it. So, yes, so yeah, so Ed, the sheep episode of Father Ted. When the crimes are exposed at the end of the

episode and the person responsible is, Fargo Boyle. And then they show the images of them trying to scare the sheep. And there's that sound effect noise. It goes, eh, like that. Every time. So it's not only does it sound like that, but that then made me think, I wonder if they use the same sound effect, which then brought me on to the fact that they tried to scare the sheep with that BBC Sounds album. They play the wolf. in to scare the sheep

but oh god yeah it really does sound like the trying to scare the shit was there a voice in the instrumental brain that just goes fucking hell I've missed that is

I know it's written by the guy who has lost his brain and won't be mentioned co-written co-written by the guy who has lost his brain but I mean he says that it is his voice but that for the first time

I ever watched it I think that is the most I've ever laughed at anything in my life It's so Good, it fucking killed this Yeah Fucking hell It's just so good

Fargo boil What? God Fucking home So, so fun Sorry, right Okay Father Ted at its best

It's just like Absolutely incredible It really really was But That really It really was. Yeah. No, that really does top the lot.

That episode is probably, that and Speed 3 are always my two favourites. I think they're just fantastic. Oh, but don't forget, this is the opening hat trick, if you'll forgive the pardon, that was actually the production company. Yes. The first episode of those three,

for start of season 3, is that, are you right there, Father Ted, with the perfectly square piece of dirt on the window? Do you remember? Yes. That is quite the incredible scene. I hear you're a racist now, Father. I hear you're a racist now, Father.

Should we all be racist now? What's the line the church is taking on this? The farm takes up most of the day. In the evening, I just like a cup of tea, so I might not have the time to devote myself full time to the old racism. Sorry, a lot of this can probably get cut. It's just... No, let's keep it all in.

because we're missing a song anyway. But that's all I have to say. So Andy, you can be the composed one while me and Ed have a second. So, AQUA, various artists for the BBC and the telitubbies. How do we feel about those three? Well, life in plastic may be fantastic,

but life in the vault is even more fantastic because that's going into the vault. So it is. So it is. I went to be Irish myself there. Some like Jim McDonald. We'll catch yourself on, Elizabeth.

I'm putting it in the vault. So I am. Anyway, what was next? My head's just gone completely. Perfect day. Perfect day, I think it is a perfect day because it's in the perfect place, which is right where it is. I'm not moving in anywhere.

I'm just going to keep it hanging on. As for Tullytubbies, I'm not going to say, piehole. Actually, I am. I was thinking for a second there that I wasn't going to put it in the pile, and I was going to be kind. But fuck it, what they're going to do? Beat me up. They're little babies.

They can't do shit to me. So, yeah, Tally Tubby are going in the pie hole. Say goodbye. Ed, Barbie Girl, Perfect Day, and Tullytubbies say, E-O. Well, Aqua first up, their spidey senses tingling. Anybody call for a web slinger? Aquaman swings his way into the vault.

Citation needed. Yeah, I'm putting in the vault. I really like it. Uh, yeah, perfect day. A poiffic day. Poiffic day, my apologies. Um, yeah, I was mentioned before. It might be, and probably isn't, as you pointed out, Rob, the only song,

uh, specifically written for an ad that was a number one single. And it is about as deep and resonant as that sounds, but it is far from as abrasive and cynical and joyless as that sounds as well. So it's fine. But, well, that's been to tell it. tubbies. Oh, what's that, tinky winky, lala, dipsy, po? It's a magic hole in the ground. Well, I know you like tubby custard and tubby custard pies. I know the perfect place you might find them. Some froze to death. Some perished, more from malnutrition than from hunger. unable to survive by boiling tubby hide

and turning it into a vaguely palatable glue-like soup. Some native unmarried tubbies took pity on them and favored them with what few tubby berries they managed to hoard from the frozen wastes. Others simply stole their nunu's, leaving them first without carriage for their wagons. And then, yeah, sorry, I've actually been reading a lot

about the Oregon Trail, and it's really disturbing me. So anyway, yes, as the cold snap last into February. No, all that goes on. My apologies. I'll leave that bit out. Yeah, that's going in the bin. I get the impression.

It's not for me. Can I just pick up on that dark, telly to be saga that you briefly dipped into the... I just want to give some explanation to what I think is being used as the outro for this episode this week, because it really does need some explanation.

So, about... I just like make music for fun. I often work to briefs just for fun. I like to imitate things. And about five years ago, husband came up with the idea of what if they had a really like Batman Begins style gritty origin film for the telitubbies and I always find it really funny listening to trailer music. I find a lot of trailer music quite funny these days because it's so over the top and I love those

epic trailer versions of any song that you get on YouTube. So my husband said to me, do an epic trailer version of the telitubbies theme and I did it in about half an hour. I whipped it up. It's never been released but you can hear it. playing us out is the Telytobie's epic trailer version. Yeah. As for me, Barbie girl, yep, I'm vaulting it. It's creeping

in. I didn't think that would happen when we started this decade, but there we are. Perfect day is going nowhere. It can have a perfect day, just not really having to commit to anything. Telly Tubby say, oh, yeah, sorry, three-year-old me.

Piehole, it goes, that trip to tubby land, or Telly Tobey Land or whatever it was called. Telly Toby Hill. They made a mock-up kind of version of it in a warehouse somewhere and I went to it and I remember being there. But sorry. Yeah, not great. So, we won't be back next week.

We'll be back the week after. And he's on holiday. Enjoy yourself. And we'll be back in February sometime. We will see you then. Bye-bye now. Time for double-bye. Bye-bye.

Yeah.