Hits 21 - 1999 (8): Christina Aguilera, Westlife, Five

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Hits 21, the show that's taking a look back at every single UK #1 hit..You can follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hits21UKYou can email us: [e-mail] 21 DOES NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ANY MUSIC USED IN THE EPISODES. USAGE OF ALL MUSIC USED IN THIS PODCAST FALLS UNDER SECTION 30(1) OF THE COPYRIGHT ACT 1988

Hi there everyone and welcome back to Hits21, the 90s where me, Rob, me, Westlife as always. And me, Ed, are looking back at every single UK number one of the 1990s, email us at Hits21 podcast at gmail.com. Thank you ever so much for joining us again. We are currently looking back at the year 1999, and this week we'll be covering the period between the 10th of October and the 6th of November, just three songs this week as we get ever.

so close to the end of the 90s. Andy, the UK album charts as autumn turns to winter. How are we doing? It's Steps with Steptacular, which were number one for three weeks and went three times platinum. It was indeed spectacular. Had that album, used to love it. Then we've got Celine Dion with the really clunkily titled, as seems to be a common thing with compilations, where they just can't decide on what to call it. It's all the way. Dot, dot, dot, dot, a decade, of song. Just awful. Not quite as well as, not quite as badly as his Tory, but book one past, present and future by Michael Jackson, which is just the worst I'm ever heard. All the way, a decade of song went number one for one week and went two times platinum, and I suspect that this is the most

that anyone's ever discussed it. Then steps come back in for one more week with Steptacular, and then we have our final number one album of the 1990s, which takes us through the this week and next week and our Christmas special. So I think I'm going to be cheeky and save it to next time. Sod the former, you can't stop me. In UK news, the London Eye is moved into position and begins to be raised on the south bank of the River Thames. The eye opens to the public in March 2000. Meanwhile, Tony Blair's Labour government removes the automatic right of hereditary peers to sit and vote in the House of Lords. In world news, 10,000 people die in the fiducius cyclone in the North Indian Ocean, and that's still regarded among the most intense

cyclones in history, and elsewhere, more than 200 people are killed when a plane flying from Cairo to New York City crashes in Massachusetts. The number one films in the UK were American Pie, Deep Blue Sea, Tarzan, and the Blair Witch Project. Ed, any albums going missing in the woods? Well, not really. They seem to be staying firmly put. They're actually very few. They're actually very few that are holding fast. But when Bible Belt America gets a taste of the stronger stuff, it runs with lips, buckets, and

desperately cupped palms, no matter how meager the trickle actually is. Creed may be at number one for just a fortnight, but human clay will go on to sell more than 11 million copies in America alone. I had no fucking idea.

They just seem to have been an eternal punchline as far as I know. Santana is a rock legend for sure, but saying he sold 15 million copies of his 1999 album is a little disingenuous. The creative input and promotional clout of a wrist-ahead, Clive Davis, along with a leaden litany of trendy guests, probably had just a little teeny tiny tony little gnats wing to do with it. Supernatural begins a three-week run at the top, which is actually nothing, compared to to the performance of its lead single Smooth,

featuring Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20, which sees off Mariah Carey and Jay-Z in mid-October, and will hang loftily at number one until the year 2000. So that's it for the singles for this year. Wow, number one for two millennia. Wow. Yeah, exactly. It lasts all the way into the new millennia.

It's a decent song, to be fair. All right, well, thank you both for those reports. Ed, yours was a hard one. Oh, thank you. Like seven inches from the midday sun. Yes, so we're going to crack on with the first of three songs this week, and the first of them is this. Okay, this is Jeannie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera,

released as the lead single from her debut studio album titled Christina Aguilera. Jeannie in a bottle is Christina Aguilera's first single to chart in the UK, and her first to reach number one. It's not Christina's last number one, but it is her last number one of the 90s. Jeannie in a bottle first entered the UK charts at number 75, reaching number one during its sixth week. It stayed at number one for two weeks.

In its first week, atop the charts, it sold 173,000 copies, beating competition from two times by Anne Lee. Jesse hold on by Bewitched and give it to you by Jordan Knight. And in week two, it sold 123,000 copies, beating competition from Don't Stop by ATB, after The Love has gone by steps, going underground by Buffalo Tom, and never let you down by honeies. After two weeks at the top, Jeannie in a bottle dropped one place to number two. It stayed inside the top 104, 29 weeks.

The single is currently officially certified two times platinum in the UK. As of 2026, Andy, you can kick us off with Christina. Yeah, I think I'm going to end up not being as hot on this as you two. I have an issue with this, which is basically that it's lyrically very fun, and it's a good start for Christina Aguilera, and there's loads and loads working in his favour, which I will get on to. But fundamentally, the problem I have with this is that musically, it just doesn't do anything interesting whatsoever.

It has a really simple, like, standard chord structure, doesn't do anything interested rhythmically. It's got this kind of sing-song nursery rhyme, easy to do on karaoke-style vocal, which doesn't challenge Christina at all, considering what a powerhouse voice she's got. But there's just nothing there musically, so it just doesn't grab me. Having said that, there is a lot that works in its favor. I do think that this is like a really good start for it because it's cheeky, you know, if it's into the market, it took me years to get that innuendo that the chorus is built around. It took me aged for that to click with me.

And I think that's pitched in a nice way that, like, kids can still enjoy this and that you wouldn't even know that there is an innuendo at the heart of this, whereas adults can be like, all right, Christina, you dirty girl, as I'm sure many dads would have horribly said, and I regret having gone down that road now. Anyway, and also, it is so easy to sing. Like it's something that you can very quickly get into the mainstream because anyone can sing along to it. It's really simple on karaoke.

It's something that like singers who can't sing can still have a go at and do quite well at. I remember an episode of short-lived celebrity singing show just the two of us where you had to do duets and Connie Huck was on it and did Jeannie in a bottle really, really badly. It used to be a bit of a running joke in my family that whenever we heard this we sang it badly in the style. of Connie Hook. Sorry, Connie.

But yeah, I just think this is really safe, really basic. You know, as debut singles go, it's not exactly baby one more time. It's more like, this is sort of like, her love me do, I think, where it's ticking a lot of boxes and definitely is doing what it needs to to get onto the radar and can totally see why it still hangs around. But she's got so, so much better. And this feels like a first step towards a more interesting career. So this is fine, but I'm not at all interested by it, unfortunately.

That's for me. I think over time, the effect of this feeling like such a, you know, shock of the new moment has kind of faded a bit over time. But I think listening back to it on this show in the context that it came into, you know, it does reinforce, I think, how refreshing and new this must have felt at the time. You know, now that summer 99 is over and the millennium's drawing closer, I guess, you know, there's an eye turning towards the year 2000 and the kind of acts that are going to be ushering in the new millennium.

Because as much as, you know, as much as this makes a lot of sense in a world that already has Britney Spears in it, I think it's been easy to forget over the years that Christina was kind of put forward as like an alternative to Brittany, kind of like the All Saints were to, you know, the All Saints to the Spice Girls. But, you know, Christina was the slightly more mature option. But, you know, that they were going to both take us, and Christina into this American dominated future for the

British charts. Over time I think they've kind of been grouped together and I get why but I feel like Brittany was more of a teen pop act with little nods to things like New Jack Swing and dance pop and stuff whereas Christina is immediately and more obviously like an R&B act for a

slightly older age group and there are hip hop influences in this as well and there are big pummels of sub-base and things like that. They just make it that little bit older in terms of its sort of demographic pursuits. The percussion is busy and frenetic and really heavily processed and quantized in a way that pop would only really go for in a big way, sort of after this. And that's before you get to the job that Christina has to do. You know, this is, I think, before she had a reputation as, you know, a vocal powerhouse, but her and Brittany landing in the

same year in the UK, I do think, the both, the two of them had a pretty radical effect on the kind of female voices that the British public would accept. It's like we all heard that kind of nasal slant that kind of, you know, leads into, you know, deliberate vocal fry in a kind of valley girl accent and decided that that's what we'd been missing through quite a lot of pop up to this point. And yeah, you know, over time, because that sound has, has permeated R&B and pop for 25 years now in one way or another, this maybe doesn't feel as instant or as urgent as it did once upon a time. But I think it's still a bit of a breath of fresh.

share, you know, listening back to it with as much 9099 context as we've got from this show. I think it, you know, it's nimble, it's well constructed, it's got a really strong pre-chorus and a chorus and a chorus and a post-chorus. And the little hooks dotted along the way as well, which is always a good sign that there's lots of ideas on show. The presence of sub-base makes it feel more substantial sonically and slightly deeper than what we've covered this year. Like it actually weighs more than the CD that it's come on. And I think above all, it puts the needle a little bit more than baby one more time when it comes to the innuendo and the playfulness side of things. You know, it's not a better song. It isn't. I'll get to that. But I think that this pushes the innuendo very, very close to being explicit.

The constant references to rubbing and the, come, come, come. You know, it's kind of like wannabe by the Spice Girls, where you know, it's a female protagonist telling a male how to get it right and produce the best results, so to speak. But it's allowing itself to be a little racier and more explicitly, sexual than wannabe or Brittany had been up to this point. It has fun with the innuendo and the kind of game of cat and mouse with the male object of affection, you know, there's even a direct reference to like racing hormones and things like that. But this is where my problems actually started to come in eventually, you know, for all that it's about racing hormones and innuendo, there are moments where I think you can feel

the looming threat of the frightened and religious like parents' music resource center, So just altering the lyrics ever so slightly where the writers have left themselves, enough get-out clauses so that it can be played on mainstream radio and have enough ammunition so that if pressure groups try to get the song banned from the radio, they can say, well, no, hang on. Because, you know, yes, yes, okay, it does say hormones racing at the speed of light, but that's immediately followed by, but that doesn't mean it's got to be tonight. And you've got your blowing kisses my way, but then, but that don't mean I'm going

to give it away. And it means the song ends up in this weird position lyrically where one moment it's very strongly implied that it's about a girl telling a boy how to bring her to orgasm properly, but then sort of saying, oh no, no, no, it's actually just about flirting at a disco and the girl assessing whether she likes the boy or not. It goes from saying, to sort of being like, oh, but not really, not really. Like you can feel like they're trying to avoid getting a parental advisory sticker stuck on this. They don't want to draw the ire of Tipper Gore.

because it means that the 15-year-olds that they're marketing it too won't be allowed to buy it. And I kind of wish they'd just thrown caution to the wind a bit more and committed a bit more. There's a whiff of chastity in this, weirdly, that kind of reduces the full effect. But never mind, you know, I think this is a good pop record, something new, exciting, something that sounds like a future that we might be heading towards. Sounds very Y2K. So, yeah, no, I have ended up a big fan of it this week. Ed, what about you?

It feels like this is very much a concerted added value. debut hit. And I think in some ways that sort of bet hedging, that not quite wanting to go too far

is all part of the big campaign. Slightly stealthy way into the general populace in a way, or at least you can read it like that.

It's like they can't afford a failed hook so there are multiple sections with hooks in them. I do know where you're coming from Andy compared to something like,

me baby one more time. It's very horizontal and not necessarily in a kind of mesmeric, groovy sort of a way. It does rely on that single chord sequence a lot. But they do keep changing it up over the top, so I don't necessarily think that's an issue. The verse in itself is not very memorable, I don't think.

I always struggle to actually put together what it was and amidst the other sections. And the chorus isn't actually the bit of everyone remembers, remembers either. So this sounds like a recipe for disaster. However, that cool rippling intro with, as you said, rock the kind of like compressed sort of drums at the back. It's awesome. It's a great, really ear-catching thing. It's got a cool and spacey at the same time. And yes,

you've got that post-chorus chant going on, which is for me, you know, for better or worse, one of the most memorable hooks of this era. When I think of like late 90s, I think of that, I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. Particularly the acapella exit of the song, which is just such a cool way of ending it. Unfortunately, though, the metaphor

really doesn't stand up too scrutiny, so I'm going to piehole it. Because, let's be honest here, is rubbing a genie an incorrect way part of genie law? Is that ever been a thing? Yeah, that's the thing. It does get something mixed up because it's, I mean,

genies don't really come in bottles. They come in lamps. Yes. Which was something I kind of thought. It's kind of like they've mixed their metaphors with genie and a lamp and lightning in a bottle. Genie and a lamp doesn't really have the same poetry. I'm a genie in a lamp.

And I'm getting very damp. Christina, you're saying, come an awful lot. Very warm. It's very warm. Seriously, though, folks. I do really like this. It isn't on the same tier as something like, Hit Me Baby One More Time,

because it's just not got that degree of perpetual motion and invention to it, because a lot is hung around the success of 50% of the hooks, I would say, on this. But it sounds cool, I enjoy it, and it is hooky. And she sings it really well, as well. I kind of forgotten, because it was an era, absolutely kind of crowded with sort of big like R&B and pop sort of divas. I was like, what does Christina Aguilera sound like? Because unfortunately, all I can remember is that family guy skit

where they're absolutely and totally laying into it. She's doing a recording session with her like hand doing the thing while she's singing. Oh, yes. And then Peter comes as like, you really are. you are offensive to every single possible sense. And it goes through all of them. And you even smell like this. And she just smells under her arms.

She's like, oh yeah. For some reason, she sounds like a human version of like a raccoon might sound. So that has eternally swamped my memory of her. But she sings this really well. And I think it sounds really cool. And I think it's a really cool pop single.

and it doesn't surprise me one little bit that it was a big hit. All right then, so. The second song of Three Up This Week is this. Everybody's looking for that something. One thing that makes it all. You find it in the strange places. Places you never knew it could be. All right in the face of their children

All right, this is Flying Without Wings by Westlife Released as the third single from the group's debut studio album entitled Westlife and as the lead single from the soundtrack album to Pokemon the movie 2000. Flying Without Wings is Westlif's third single to chart in the UK and their third to reach number one. And it's not the last time we'll be coming to West Life during our 90s coverage. Flying Without Wings went straight in at number one. As a brand new entry, it stayed at number one for one week.

In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 92,000 copies beating competition from If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time by R. Kelly, Larger Than Life by Backstreet Boys, Bugaboo by Destiny's Child, and When the Heartache is Over by Tina Turner. After one week at the top, Flying Without Wings fell three places to number four. It stayed inside the top 100 for 14 weeks. The single is currently officially certified platinum in the UK. As of 2026, Ed. Bloody hell, I can't believe they got that

Pokemon gig. I know. I've never heard about that before. That's brand new information to me, that. But it's an absolute godsend, because Rob, in the last 20 seconds, I've written two Westlife-based Pokemon puns that I'm hoping will actually compensate

for the fact that I only have one single note for this. So, um, um, did they, did they hire Westlife because they heard their last album and went to all the tracks? They were like, oh, this is, mu, and that next one is Mu2, and then this is Mu3. And then the next one, I was going to say, this was going to be well funny. I was like, come here, Westlife, and let me Pikachu. Oh, dear. Look, my notes were this, and this is all I've been able to get from multiple listens. Multiple half list. Okay. Multiple a third listen. Okay. I basically listened to the intro and then wanted to die. Life is short and it is warm.

Look, what do you want me to say? It is what it is and I don't like what it is. Please somebody else. Take over. This isn't... Yeah. Nah, come on. You can do better than that. I can't, Rob. What is it? The bloody synth guitar line or the fact that? that it's just vapor or the fact that it's, hang on, maybe if I find a thesaurus, I can find more synonyms for vapor

and I can really draw this out. Hang on, Thesaurus. Synonyms, no, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, no, I can do this, synonyms, synonyms, vapour. This will be fun. Trust me, this will save this. This will save this segment. Here we are.

Thesaurus.com. No, I don't want ads. Condensation. That's what this is. That's another family guy joke. Condensation. It was supposed to be a British drama called condensation. Efluium.

That's a strong one. I like that effluvium. Rique. Ooh, that's good for this. Yeah, okay. Andy. Yes, so you've unleashed me with the Pokemon jokes here. I'm rapidly writing a few down.

but one of the ones I've got so far is that you know as a front man Brian McFadden he's nothing compared to Gary Barlow really like he Brian McFadden doesn't really sell songs like this but Gary does Garidos Garidos Gary does

Is that the little yellow one with the electricity? No that's obviously side duck God This is probably their big one I think If they were ever going to have a one hit wouldn't it Would have been this one like it's the most Westlady of Westlady of West

life things and I remember at the time because there's a few kind of particularly notable strange vocal things that they do there's like the well maids waking up beside you where it seems to miss out about five words that it was always really obvious whether they were singing live or miming or not and I think on a few occasions they were a bunch of mr. mimes let's put it that way am I right um I mean if you love westlife then you would love this. I reckon every Westlife fan counts this as one of their greatest, because it's the one, isn't it really?

It's got all the cheese, it's got the firework rain, it's got the soaring strings, it's got the pained expressions of love and the pained vocals to go with it. And it all sounds vaguely like it accompanies a funeral, which is, you know, the vibe that they often go for. So, fine. If you like Westlife, you'll love this.

If you hate Westlife, you'll hate this. Me as someone who gives them time of day but generally dislikes them, this falls very much in a neutral zone for me. It's like, yeah, whatever. Kind of know what you do in here. This is like quintessential version of you. So, yeah. I mean, we should be glad, really,

that we haven't got one of Westlife here on the show to talk about their own song on this podcast. Otherwise, we'd be a Metapod. Is that one of the later generation Pokemon? No, Metapod is in between Caterpian Bidril. It's number five. Is it really? Yes. Oh my God.

Goodness me. You were born in the 90s. You should know this. I know I really should. I thought that was the funny one of the three, but don't worry. There's more. I laughed. I'd heard of that one. Thanks, Ed. It's always reliable. I've got very little else to say on this, and I reckon our running time may be fairly short. So in the nature of, well, in the spirit of the boys' own quiz, which was so popular, and we're getting letters every day demanding that they bring it back.

and the BBC are involved in bringing it to TV presented by Ronan Keaton and Mikey Graham so the Boys Own Quiz yeah that's coming to a TV near you sometime soon that may or may not be true I'll leave you to figure out but in the spirit of the Boys Own quiz I've got another little quiz for you welcome to Westlife or West Fife

the game is simple I'm going to give you a quote and you have to tell me whether the person was talking about the pop group West Life or the area of Scotland, West Fife. Okay. Ed, your first up. Your first quote is,

it's at the heart of Scottish history. West Life, obviously. Incorrect, it's West Fife. What? Rob, your go. It's amazing how lucky they were, really, and what they achieved with so little. Hmm.

Yes, I think I might. go for Westlife on that one. That is Westlife. Ed. Is that right? It is Westlife, yes. Ed. I think they're very unique

in the sense that they have a certain sound, repeat it every single time, and no one gets bored. Well, that can't be West Life then. It's got to be West Life. It's West Life, unfortunately. Oh, God. And, well,

it was best of five and Rob's two up, so I'll just give Rob the slightly, more difficult one, which is decades may pass, but the affection people feel never seems to fade. West Fife? It's West Life, not

West Fife. Oh dear. God, you've stumped us with these. I had to employ the services of ChatGBT GBT for this because it's such a specific question and I said, can you give me some quotes about West Fife? And one of them was, welcome to West Fife. That was the

start of their first gig and he's like, hi, we're West Fife. Damn it! That was West Life or West Fife coming to your ears once again next week, or maybe not, we'll see. But I'm done with this song. Can we have a nideran? Another one? A nideran?

Honestly, you two writing jokes quickly for this stuff. I'm like, I have no idea. There's just noise and static in my head whenever I try and think of anything on the spot. You say writing jokes, but I think for Ed and I, this is more just how we talk. This is how we approach language. It's actually harder for us to talk normally. If you just want a series of dry, poorly timed puns, then you can rely on me any day of the week.

As for me, one of my favourite moments on this show was Lizzie reminding me that this was on the soundtrack to the Pokemon film. One I went to see in the cinema. I got given two Pokemon cards with my popcorn, but then I ended up getting sugar all over them and happy to throw them away because they got too sticky. So you went to see this, but not the first one? Oh, yeah, no, I went to see the first one as well,

but they gave us Pokemon cards with this. I presume in that film that, like, I don't really remember anything that happens, but I presume in that film that, like, Pikachu electrocutes somebody at some point, and I presume that somebody were the members of Team Rocket. I could be wrong. Well, I mean, that's, that's, that's,

There's a lot to go on. Anyway, the song, yeah, it's kind of just standard Westlife stuff, but there's something about this that keeps, I don't know, just keeps it out of the pie hole for me. And it's that kind of, there is a bit of a gospel influence and that kind of syrupy American flavor it has. You know, I would say, I would agree with you, Andy, that if Westlife were a one-hit wonder,

or if they had a really big global hit and no others, it would be this. And a cover of this actually did get to number two on the billboard in 2003 by Ruben Studard, who was an American Idol contestant. I know all about Ruben Studard. He makes a cameo in Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed. I think we've discussed him before, actually. Yeah.

Sorry, I'm not that big a Ruben Studard fanboy. But yeah, by their standards, I think this is sort of all right. The gospel influences kind of force them to push themselves a bit to kind of match the material. Like Mark Feele is the one who ends up having to do the high lead part at the end. and you know I think he just about reaches the levels required to communicate the size of the thing by that point in the song. It's drippy and slow and maudlin and it's, you know, going after the lowest of low-hanging fruits. But I think this is kind of where I end up thinking and finalizing thought in my head that I do prefer Westlife's number ones to Bozoins because, you know, actually, you know, vocally, Westlife could mostly handle the sort of larger material. Can you imagine Ronan honking over this?

Yeah. Maybe he would slip into the megachurch past the roll again and do okay, but maybe not. And as much as Stephen Gately had a better voice than Ronan and sang with a smile, I'm not sure he could have matched what Mark produces specifically. I feel like it would have been a bit difficult. But that's kind of it, really. It's not good, definitely not good.

It does that thing again of presuming that everyone's always on the verge of tears just at the mere sight of Westlife. but I'd put this up there with You Raise Me Up and World of Our Own, I think, for tolerable West Life songs. Oh, those wouldn't be my two. Certainly not, certainly not you raise me up. My two that are vaguely tolerable, I would say, are my love and swear it again. Those would be my two. What are your two West Life songs dead? There were two West Life songs. I thought they just keep releasing the same one over and over again, personally. You're right, though. I do find them less egregious somehow than boys own, but that doesn't mean a damn thing. So I just, I can't

do it. I just feel like I'm being hoodwinked every time I listen to one of these because the predominance of this kind of ballad in this era is really testing my patience and making me thoroughly

aware of my own mortality. Because, fuck, hell, you know, It was bad enough for me experienced it in real time, like ultra-compressed. It's like, what are you doing to me? It's making me, you know, forget all of the good shit that's in between them. But anyway... As bad as Westlife often are, there never is... There's something about Bozoin that, like, oh, they tick me off in a way no one else does.

I would always, always rather listen to Westlife than Bozones. Boyzone have more phlegm. There's more goo going on there. Westlife are just kind of bland. They're a bit more light and airy, and I think for me that's less offensive. At least Westlife, they're not nothing. They're something. Whereas both of them are just like, they're just nothing.

They're an empty box. I think the problem is that Boys Own are something, but it's, I get some sort of malevolence off them. Whereas Westlife is just like, oh, it's just man the person and his friends. All right, so the third. And final song this week is this. Okay, this is Keep On Moving by Five. Released as the second single from the group's second studio album titled Invincible,

Keep On Moving is 5-7th single to chart in the UK and their first to reach number one. It's not their last number one overall, but it is their last number one of the 90s. Keep on Moving went straight in at nighties. number one as a brand new entry. It stayed at number one for one week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 137,000 copies, beating competition from Heartbreaker by Mariah Carey and Jay-Z, and not over you yet by Diana Ross. After one week at the top, keep on moving, fell two places to number three. It initially left the charts in April 2000, but re-entered for one week in 20, bringing its token stay to 20 weeks.

The single is currently officially certified two times platinum in the UK. As of 2026, Ed, do you have more on five than Westlife? Of course I do. I mean, don't go expecting a novel, but I really like this. I was oddly reminded years after the fact of this song and how much I enjoyed it by Phoenix Knights. because this plays in the background as one of the scenes while they're setting up their their sort of fun day

with all of the inflatables and Jerry the Berry Perry And I was like Oh this is a really Is it just the scene? Is it just that I'm enjoying the show or has this really got a really infectious

kind of bounce to it And it does And every time I've heard it since I'm like I've really like this It's a genuinely smiling record It's not them trying to be cool and street I mean, there's a bit of sonna sing rapping. But it's in that kind of perky new radicals kind of a way.

It's not like, yeah, we're really bare, we're going to pointlessly put a reference to Jimmy Snooker in one of our songs. But anyway, it's a kind song, I think, and it doesn't over-promise. I think I will qualify that by saying it's not one of those wanting, needing or lamenting pop records. and this might make you sound like some sad, tedious old clergyman or something, but I like its simple sentiment. I know it's not much, but it's okay. It doesn't really sound like very much lyrically on paper.

But having that kind of centred realism in a boy band pop single delivered with such a sort of gentle but propulsive skip to it is really quite effective, at least to me. It's like there is urgency and there is a sense of struggle or you've come out of something or you're aware that there's baggage that might hold you back. But it's like, hey, while we're still standing, while we're still moving, things ain't so bad. Come on, let's let's buggy. It's not got the variety in terms of melody that Christina Aguilera's single did. but I mean the two sections really nicely counterbalance each other in a way that that

it doesn't feel horizontal as I said in the way that track does and in many ways it's such a nice breezy short song with such convincing melodic elements you really only need to just drop the rhythm at one point as it turns out and that's fine that's in a variety just to see you through yeah I really like this I like it's peppiness I like it's kind of unpatronising sentiment and a simple sentiment as well and yeah I think it's a proper feel-good boogie with a little nice little almost hint

of power poppiness going on there that I find very appealing as well in that chorus so yeah this was a nice surprise Andy keep on moving I agree with Ed completely on this that I think this is a bit of a banger to be honest I think first of all, it reinforces the point that I made a few weeks ago about boy bands,

not just boy bands actually, but girl bands and mixed gender pop groups like S Club, you know, that the key to success, especially in the late 90s, is to lean into it. Don't act all cool, don't act all hard and macho for boy bands and don't, you know, over-sexualize it and be too kind of mysterious as a girl band. Lean into the cheese, lean into the silliness, lean into the kid audience. That is where success lies. You know, the Backstreet Boys' biggest hits are probably everybody with this weird horror music video and, you know, the sort of stupid pat to my nuts of that. And I wanted that way, which is just pure cheese.

You know, S Club have just had Bring It All Back, Storm to number one and Reach as well. That's probably one of their biggest hits. You know, it's, and Bewitched with Sailor V. You know, that's their biggest hit, despite, I think we probably agreed, the blaming on the weatherman is probably the nicer song, really. You know, you've got to lean into this stuff. And five spent a few years before this with stuff like when the lights go out and five will make you get down now. You know, just really trying to not be a boy band, basically. And here they go hilariously far the other way and go for the lowest hang of fruit possible with like, hey kids, it's going to be okay.

Keep your chin up, you know. And it actually really, really works that it just puts a smile on your face. And it's like, oh, here are some nice, friendly adults who are like, yeah, it's going to be all right. And what makes that better is that there are some hooks in this that are absolutely killer. Like, where did they come from with that? When the rainy days are dying? Gonna keep on keep on trying. That is just electric.

That is so good, that hook. And the rest of it is really straightforward, really simple. But much like Jeannie in a bottle, actually, I think that's the key to its success. I remember a school assembly in like 2005 or something, you know, years after this was number one. where our head of year decided to put this song on in an assembly and just let us all sit and listen to it which was really

really embarrassing especially because it was so out of date at that time but I think a lot of adults loved this for the kids because it's super safe and super nice you can leave it on the background and it's got lots of nice positive messages and it's also really catchy

and you can do those dance moves to it you know that everybody did with the just basically Mickey Mouse and what was happening with the looking up and then looking down and then looking around. It's almost like children's party fair, this, to be honest. And it's nice and breezy.

It's got a nice light production. It's everything that five usually aren't. And they've got something really nice here. I wish they'd done a bit more like this. Because there is a gap in the market for some genuinely friendly, non-toxic men in a UK boy band. Can't really think of where that's being filled at the moment. Like, not singing about. romance, not being all hard and yeah, I'm going to have you girl, but just being nice dudes,

I think there was a gap in the market for that, and this is a really fun track that just puts a smile on your face. Like I say, it's not the greatest thing in the world, because to repeat myself, it does go for the lowest hanging fruit possible. Like, I think, similar to bring it all back, you know, it's easy to be popular when you're just singing sunshine and lollipops and rainbows, essentially. And there is so little grit in this. that it's, you know, it is almost sickly sweet at times. But it still manages to be fun. It still manages to be slightly cool while I've had it.

And I just think it really just wins you over. I think this is a really good little pop package. And easily, hilariously easily, Five's best song. Yeah, something I noticed in the credits for this was the name Biff Stannard. And it turns out that Biff Stannard wrote Wannaby, well part of Wannaby, To Become One, Spice Up Your Life and Viva Forever for the Spice Girls. He'd go on to write part of, or co-write, Love at First Site for Kylie. He did stuff for Sugar Babes, Gabrielle, Westlife, One Direction, Lamar.

So, like, this guy, you know, he's been around the block a few times already, and he's going to go around the block a few more times in the next era. He did bully Marty McFly, so we can't forget that. And, you know, this is written with the kind of like 10 and 2 position experience. I think it's always going to warm me up to it. even when it comes to groups I'm not that much of a fan of you know if you can put something together that has a clear definable pop structure something like a good you know good pre-chorus that you know you can actually you know you can have my vote there um I've actually performed this live

at a karaoke night in the league that me and Andy and our judges in you know I picked it because it was boy band and girl group week and I just needed something easy something quick some I already felt very familiar with and would be a decent crowd pleaser and yeah you know this fit the bill fairly well that night. And, you know, in a weird way, this is another one of those that I can't believe hasn't always existed in some way. I feel like I've known that melody from the chorus from before it was even released. I feel like it's just always existed, you know, I think that what I like the most about this is, is that it's not overbearing or insistent, but it is just as memorable and resonant. Despite that, you know, it doesn't shout in your face. It's kind of laid back and smiley.

It trusts you to believe the vibe and get in with the vibe first and foremost, you know, so it does, It feels nice. It feels comfortable, like an old pair of slippers. It's not vault material for me. There's something about Five that for me, I think they lack a bit of individual flair and character. And it makes, it's hard to find songs that are unquestionably theirs. The only surprise Five had at the moment was kind of like breaking into rap every now and again, which obviously they do on this.

But aside from that, I'm unsure if you'd really know it was them, if you came into it completely ignorant. But I think this is why I'm so drawn to the pre-corps. us in the song because when Jason comes in rapping like, you know, like, you know, that's five that's five's USP,

I suppose. And yet, this isn't far away from the vault. It's just not quite in it. But yeah, no, a lovely song to finish the week, an incredibly short episode.

Ed, I'm going to ask you, Genie in a bottle, flying without wings, keep on moving. How are we feeling? The way you said, that's like,

I'm going to ask. Q. It was probably like, and you know what, I'm not 100% expecting a sensible answer here. I'll try. She's been lost. She's been down to the bottom of every bottle. But maybe lifting her into the vault will remind her of what she really is. But what is a genie without a bottle or a lamp? Are they defined exclusively by their function and their containing vessel? Well, Christina, You get to work that out by yourself because I have nicked your bottle and I'm using it to store olive oil in it. Popeye is really annoyed. Forget that. Anyway, next one. Next, after getting your haircut at Berries in South Wigston, said barber would always hand you a tissue. This is true. I never knew why. Everyone got it. I wasn't sure what to do with it. And it seemed to have no intrinsic gestural meaning other than it just being there. already, a thin platitude delivered by habit that was soon forgotten. There was something unsavory about it, though, a tissue being both an empty receptacle and kind of lead and thick with connotations

of shame, forcible rejection and self-denial. So I usually bind it immediately. So yeah, Westlife, of course it's going in the pie hole. It's Westlife, who are better than boys' own, but are worse than catching a couple of drops of stray piss on your trousers. I was going to say blue. Blue, five, the other ones. The other ones that, JLS. Yeah, five. I know it's not much, but it's enough to breach the vault.

Keep on moving's timeless, breezy charm endures. So Andy, Christina Aguilera, Westlife and five. Well, Christina, if you want to reach the vault, baby there's a price to pay, you gotta be slightly more musically interesting, I'm sorry, X-Tina. That's just saying where it is. Flying without wings is also not going anywhere. I don't think it's bad enough for the pie hole, and certainly not good enough for the vault. And if Westlife are listening, if you think that you should be going in the vault, then why don't you write to me and I'll write you? Got that one.

and finally well get on up when you're down five because you're going into the vault nice as for me genie in a bottle that's going in

that's going in the vault I yeah I really think that was something when that comes on on the playlist I'm like whoa hey now that's a breath of fresh air flying without wings that's going nowhere

close very very close to the pie hole but not in it and keep on moving is very, very close to the vault, but not in it. So, yeah, I think we may be about to call time on what may end up being the shortest episode in the podcast history. That's always nice to record. I guess. Especially when you made last minute plans to see Toy Story 5 at the cinema this evening because of a preview screening,

and you've decided to do it on a bit of a whim. And it turns out that you've ended up recording your shortest ever episode. episode on a night where it's incredibly convenient. Well, I'm glad that worked out for you in that regard, Rob. And I hope you enjoy Toy Story 5. And I'm sorry for all of the editing you have to do to my fucking sloppy segments. Oh, I'll barely have to do any editing to it. So, when we come back, it'll be our last proper episode of 1999.

And it'll be our last proper episode of the 90s as well. And then it'll be a slightly different format than our usual Christmas episodes. but you'll see what I mean when we get there. We will see you for it and we'll see you next week. Bye-bye now. Bye-bye. Bye.