Hits 21 - 2004 (10): The Race for Christmas Number 1

Episode Date: August 27, 2023

Hello again, everyone, and welcome back to Hits 21, the show that's taking a look back at every UK #1 hit single of the 21st century - from January 2000, right through to the present day. Twitter: @Hits21UK Email: [e-mail] Vault: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5O5MHJUIQIUuf0Jv0Peb3C?si=e4057fb450f648b0 Piehole: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2FmWkwasjtq5UkjKqZLcl4

Hi there everyone and welcome back to Hits21 where me, Rob me, Andy and me, Lizzie all look back at every single UK number one of the 21st century from January 2000 right through to the present day if you want to get in touch with us you can, you can find us over on

X or Twitter or whatever it's called, we are at Hits21UK that are at Hits21UK. That is at Hits21UK. And you can email us too. Just send it on over to Hits21Podcast at gmail.com. Thank you so much for joining us again. We are currently looking back at the year 2004

and at the time of recording, it's 20 degrees, it's sunny, so what better time to cover the race for Christmas number one in 2004. It's Christmas! And it's sunny outside also at the same time and it's also late August. Looking back to last week though, before we go ahead with this week, just going to read out the poll winner on what was a week of slim pickings, I think. Not the greatest week, but it was U2's Vertigo that came out on top.

I always love looking at the stats and the differences between the Spotify poll and the Twitter poll, because on the Twitter poll, Vertigo absolutely cleaned up. But on the Spotify poll because on the Twitter poll Vertigo absolutely cleaned up but on the Spotify poll it didn't do that well and on the Spotify

poll I'll Stand By You absolutely walked away with it but it got no votes on Twitter What? It's crazy isn't it how such a difference between the people who decide to vote on Spotify and the people who decide to vote on Spotify and the people who decide to vote on Twitter. Yeah, I did not know that there was such a divide

last week. I wasn't expecting one anyway. But yeah, but on to this week's episode. And as always, we are going to give you some news headlines from around the time that the song in this week's episode was at number one in the UK. Almost 230,000 people are killed when a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hits the Indian Ocean and leads to a devastating tsunami. Known as the Boxing Day Tsunami, 14 countries were severely affected by the natural disaster which caused billions of dollars worth of damage and resulted in living conditions being significantly affected in Asia. Countries as far away as Madagascar and South Africa were also affected. And the United Kingdom mourned the deaths of 150 Britons who were caught up in the

disaster, while donations from the international community raised $13.5 billion to help the families and communities affected. It is currently estimated that almost 2 million people were displaced as a direct result of the disasters. Meanwhile back home in the UK, the Queen's cousin-in-law Sir Angus Ogilvie dies aged 76, David Blunkett resigns as a Home Secretary after three and a half years in the role. And a survey from The Guardian reveals that 94% of people in the UK will be celebrating Christmas in 2004, with 59% of people saying that the birth of Jesus Christ will play a part in their celebrations.

The films to hit the top of the UK box office during this period were as follows. Blade Trinity for one week, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events for one week, and The Polar Express for one week. Not a classic Christmas at the cinema, really. No.

Based on those three. Well, are you ready for a whole lot of winners because we've got ITV record of the year which listeners who've been paying attention will know was won by Thunderbirds Are Go by Busted to find out if that won our

record of the year you'll have to listen later in the episode meanwhile Joe Pasquale wins the fourth series of I'm a Celebrity. Steve Brookstein wins the first series of The X Factor, with G4 taking second place. Jill Halfpenny, that's her from

EastEnders, wins the second series of Strictly Come Dancing. And Kelly Holmes is named BBC Sports Personality of the Year. I should say Dame Kelly Holmes these days. Meanwhile, in Paris, the Libertines played what would be their final gig for five years. Pete Doxey

had been absent for a couple of months by this point as he was in and out of rehab and during the recording of their self-titled album, they were both assigned bouncers to quote, get us there to stop fighting to stop drugs coming in and to stop the hard-hitting pipe posse turning up.

Carl Barrett decided to dissolve the band as he was no longer willing to tour and record under the name Without Doherty. They did reunite in 2010 for a performance at Reading and Leeds festivals and they reformed as a full-time band in 2014, releasing their third album, Anthems for Doomed Youth, in 2015. And they're still touring and making festival appearances as of August 2023. Andy, the album charts over Christmas 2004,

what are they looking like? Well, I think for the... Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think for the first time we've actually got a new number one at Christmas on the albums chart. So we're not skipping over it as we usually do. I say a new one though. It's not actually a new entry,

but it is newly at the top for Christmas, which is Greatest Hits by Robbie Williams, which as we mentioned last week, track one is radio. So maybe they're not all greatest hits they're all hits but whether they are great is uh for you to decide but uh because that's the only one to discuss this week i've also had a look down the um the official full top 40 for christmas 2004 the highest new entry was number four ultimate kylie by kylie minogue which is the greatest hits of hers as well. Kind of would have

preferred that to get to number one, but we can't have nice things. And also Time to Grow by Lamar entered in at number 40 in his second album. Other than that, those are the only new entries in the top 40 this year.

Ill Devo were at number two. They narrowly missed out on the number 1 spot. And U2 with How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb also in there at number 3. And number 5 was 10 Years of Hits, which again, I think that should be an anagram. 10 Years of Hits by Ronan Keating rounding out the top

5. So yeah, well done Robbie. Lizzie, how are the Americans spending the holidays? Well, Rob, I'll do this a bit differently this week just because we've got the US Christmas number one to discuss. So I will do the albums first. So first up is How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb by U2,

which you've just mentioned, Andy, and which got to number one for one week and went three times platinum in the US and also got to number one in the UK a couple of weeks before this. After that there was one week at number one for Collision Course by Jay-Z and Linkin Park, which eventually went double platinum in the US, but stalled at number 15 in the UK. And our final album for 2004 is The red light district by ludicrous which got to number one for one week to finish off december despite going double platinum in the us it only

got as high as number 98 in the uk so before we move on to singles does anyone want to guess what the best performing album of 2004 was in the US? Probably Confessions, right? Yeah, I've got it in one. Well done. Well done. Alright then, that was a quick segment. Moving on to singles. And we have our

2004 US Christmas number one. It's Drop It Like It's Hot by Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell Williams. Yeah. That's so good. it's Drop It Like It's Hot by Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell Williams. No way! Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, so that got to number one for three weeks to finish off 2004

and was the first US number one for either artist, which surprised me. However, it only got to number 10 in the UK in December 2004. Snoop Dogg would have to wait until 2010 to be on a UK number one single and Pharrell would have to wait until 2013, a year in which he appeared on three separate number one singles over here. And we all got very sick of him that year.

So just before I pass back over to you Rob I'll give you the billboard year end top 10 for 2004 yes again any guesses at the number one spot probably something to do with Usher I was going to say Usher that name's come up a lot this year

alright so at number 10 this year we have Lean Back by Terror Squad featuring Fat Joe and Remy Marr. At number 9, we have Goodies by Sierra featuring Petey Pablo. At number 8, we've got Hey Ya by Outkast, which I'm pretty sure was from 2003. But anyway. Yeah, shows its power, I guess. Yeah, definitely.

its power, I guess. Yeah, definitely. In at number seven, the first one that we've actually covered, I Don't Want to Know by Mario Wynans featuring Andrew and Poo Diddy. At number six, The Reason by Hooberstank. Oh, no.

Oh, God, I'm so sad we didn't get to cover that one. No, I'm not. In at number five is The Way You Move by Outkast featuring Sleepy Brown. Well, big year for them. Yeah, big year. And number four, This Love, Maroon 5. Big year for them, too.

What? Oh. Yeah, that song was everywhere in 2004. I guess I just didn't think it was that big in America. I don't really know why, but I just... Wow. God, that surprises me. Alright, so we're into the top three. We've got If I Ain't Got You

by Alicia Keys. In at number two, It's Usher and It's Burn, which means number one is Yeah by Usher featuring John and Ludacris. What a year for Usher, Jesus. What?

I know. Okay. What a year. Jesus, 2004, just the year of Usher, clearly in America. Wow. Yeah. Thank you very much, Lizzie.

Now, normally what we do is jump right ahead and discuss one of three songs that we're going to be talking about this week. But because it's Christmas and you've cracked open the TV guide from 2004, what have you found? Yeah, who needs the radio times when you've got me? Obviously, everyone. Everybody needs the radio times at Christmas. But I'm not going to lie to you. This is not a vintage Christmas on the airwaves.

We had all those winners of talent shows that I went through a few minutes ago. And really, that's kind of wrapped up for the year. And there's a lot of crap on at Christmas this year. If B-list celebrities and lengthy movie premieres are your thing, then boy, will you be made premieres are your thing, then boy will you be made up, and if not then you won't, so we all know where we stand.

BBC One leads with a very impressive pair of premieres actually. The evening of Christmas Eve is given over to Shrek, not literally, whereas whereas almost all of Christmas Day Evening is devoted to the premiere of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. And we also get the first edition of a Christmas TV staple on BBC One

that has aired every year since. Do you know what it is? Ooh. No. Is it? Songs of Praise. I don't know. Oh, no,? No, go ahead. Songs of Praise. I don't know. Oh, no, that's...

I mean, yes, but that's been on every year for ages. The Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special on Christmas Day. First time out this year. Yeah. And their other offerings over the festive period on BBC include another painful hour of Alistair McGowan's Big Impression, which this year promises to unite Colin Firth

René Zellweger Posh and Becks and Rebecca Luz that name I wish I could tell you that this is the last time I'll be mentioning Rebecca Luz

in this segment I wish I could and there's also Celebrity Mastermind featuring EastEnders Ricky Groves who played Gary the Mechanic, former Tory MP Neil Hamilton,

and I should say former Tory MP and current UKIP leader as of 2023, Neil Hamilton. Holby City and Star Wars Episode One star Hugh Quarshie and rugby player Martin Afaya. So yes, not the biggest line up there. And there's also this absolute time capsule, which I have to shout out Lizzie for spotting, which is Dear Father

Christmas, a kind of charity thing in which McFly, Rio Ferdinand and Sir Cliff Richard are amongst the stars helping Dale Winton and Father Christmas to make children's festive dreams come true. I really wonder what that actually means.

What did that entail? Like, what did Rio Ferdinand contribute as opposed to the presumably quadrupled contribution of McFly? Is that how the labour was divided up there? I'm guessing it was like a make-a-wish kind of thing. Yeah. Like a kid will say, oh, I really want to meet McFly. Well, here you go then. How did Cliff figure into it

he's not in anyone's festive dreams is he really apart from that girl that he spies on in the is it the Millennium Prayer video

or Save His Day oh god so that's IT that's BBC sorry which is not having a good one but ITV meanwhile

well on Christmas Eve get this three ITV meanwhile well on Christmas Eve get this three hours back to back on Christmas Eve it's an hour of Mr Bean followed by an hour of Millionaire followed by an hour of It's Alright on the Night the outtake show

presented by Dennis Norton who by the way I definitely didn't write in my notes as Dennis Nielsen and correct it just before we started. So there's that. As for Christmas Day, you guessed it, another hour of Millionaire and then a two-hour Midsummer Madness

on Christmas Day. Oh, wow. And there's also... Was Dennis Nielsen in it? No, neither was Dennis Norton. They also air Westlife She Dennis the awesome, isn't he? No, neither was Dennis. They also, Westlife She's the One, which is a one-off X Factor style program following Westlife as they search for a fan

to sing on their latest album, Allow Us to Be Frank. And that's a pun album title because it's a swing album in the style of Frank Sinatra. Allow Them to be Frank. Oh, yes. And the winner is Joanne Hindley from Bolton. Well done,

Joanne. She's chosen to accompany the band on their rendition of the way you look tonight. And that really feels like more of a forfeit prize than anything, but whatever. So, yeah, I mean,

who needs coal in the stocking when you can just put naughty children in front of ITV on Christmas 2004? I noticed a random oddity at 4.05am. 4.05am on Christmas Day. There is a new hour-long documentary called The Mythology of Star Wars. What? Obviously filling up the schedules a little bit there. So, yes, that's ITV having a shocker.

On the soaps, though, it's quite a memorable one. I actually very much recall both EastEnders and Corrie's efforts from this year. Corrie, I'm putting that first because it's obviously the best soap. Don't at me. So Claire Casey becomes Mrs. Claire Peacock as she marries our Ashley. Uncle Fred. She marries Ashley. And there's also newfound love

on EastEnders as step-siblings Sharon Watts and Dennis Rickman declare their love for each other over Christmas dinner in front of their family. Note that I would say they're families, but they're the same family, such as it is in EastEnders land.

This actually is worth mentioning because that kickstarts a chain of events that will lead to the final gruesome exit of Dirty Den Watts in February 2005. And on Emmerdale, Viv Hope finds herself spending Christmas alone for the first time and goes on a crusade through the village to have some Christmas fun,

ending in a drunken singing sesh in the Woolpack. We've all been there. It should be noted, of course, that from Boxing Day onwards, the decks were pretty much cleared for a lot of the day on all TV channels for ongoing coverage of the tsunami, which occurred in the early hours of that day.

So this is quite a unique Christmas in that plenty of the stuff that's listed in these schedules wasn't actually broadcast. It's the only Christmas in recent history, really, where that's listed in these schedules wasn't actually broadcast. It's the only Christmas in recent history, really, where that's happened, where something so serious has happened over Christmas that major new premiere programming just got ditched, some of which never aired at all. Rightly so, of course, but it's quite a unique thing to happen in Christmas, yeah. Meanwhile, Queen Elizabeth II used her Christmas message

to talk about the benefits and opportunities of cultural and religious diversity. It was notably very warmly received by Muslim and Sikh audiences who received special mention in the speech. That's nice of the Queen. But finally, I have to mention Channel 4's alternative Christmas message. We had Sharon Osbourne doing it in 2002. We had a couple from Wife Swap in 2003. Any guesses on who did it in 2004? Marge Simpson?

Not Rebecca Luz, is it? It was Marge Simpson. Oh my God. What? But good memory there, Rob. Don't worry, I've not forgotten Rebecca Luz because Marge Simpson delivered the message from her kitchen, played, of course, by Julie Kavner

and she commented disparagingly on David Beckham's affair with Rebecca Luz, negatively comparing Posh and Becks' marriage to hers and Homer's. She also went on to compare the UK-US relationship to that of Mini-Me and Dr. Evil.

Oh Jesus. Also, a silent Lisa Simpson was stood there throughout in the background holding protest signs for Cornish independence from the UK. Quite a move there. So, yeah, that's your lot. That's your Christmas on TV. Let's hope

for a bit more variety next year. There's one big tradition that's getting started next year, which I'm looking forward to talking about, but for now, quite an odd mellow TV Christmas, apart from Marge Simpson trying to start World War 3. Yeah, quite an unusual one. Yeah.

Lizzie, toys and games. How are we doing? Yeah, a lot going on, as per. I guess I'll kick off with the toys. So I've got the Toy of the Year Awards 2004 from the UK Toy Retailers Association. So, first of all, we've got Game of the Year, which went to Trivial Pursuit 20th Edition by Hasbro.

Okay. Pursuit 20th Edition by Hasbro. Next up we've got the craze of the year which went to Cosmolite Alien Eggs. Do you remember that? Yes, the alien eggs! Oh my god. Yes. Apparently they'd grow and hatch and stuff. I don't know for sure what they actually did because

everybody had a different story. There was all sorts of rumours that they grow to six foot in height, or they start having babies of their own, or, I don't know, they friggin' start talking and singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Everybody claimed that they do something. So I don't know what they actually did, because I never owned one. Yeah, I have a feeling it's nothing, but you're never there. We've got the Retro Toy of the Year, which went to Tamagotchi Connection by Bandai. The outdoor toy of the year,

I definitely had one of these, Trampolines by TP Activity. Oh, didn't know that was a big year for trampolines. That must have passed me by. There was a bit of a trampoline craze around that time. Well, evidently, yeah. The feature doll of the year went to Baby Annabelle by Zapf Creation. Kind of remember that, butly, yeah. The Featured Doll of the Year went to Baby Annabelle by Zepf Creation. Kind of remember that, but not that clearly.

Is that the one that, like, actually, like, vomits and pisses and shits and, like, it was really gross? It's either that or Baby Born. Oh, OK. Because I've never understood the appeal of that, of an adult that has bodily functions. It's just a bit gross. As if dolls were not creepy enough.

They always give them really creepy names. I seem to remember one being called Baby Wee Wee. Oh, yeah. I just remember the stupid jingle from the advert, the fucking Baby Wee Wee. Oh, God, it's making me hurt just saying it. That's the Christmas number one for 2007, I think. Yeah, carry on, Lizzie. Carry on carry on lizzie we'll get away from dolls we will soon enough we've got the pocket money toy of the year which went to hot wheels basic car assortment

okay the electronic learning toy of the year v smile by v tech okay the plush toy of the Year, Vsmile by VTech. Okay. The Plush Toy of the Year went to Fur Real Love Cubs by Hasbro. Oh, God. That sounds a bit... I don't remember those. I don't either. It sounds like a bit of a niche item for the gay community, to be honest, but I don't know what it is. We've got a former queer punk band called Fur Real Love Cubs.

Yeah. So we've got the former queer punk band called Furial Love Cups. So we've got the preschool toy of the year, which went to Aquedrawer by Tomi. Again, don't remember it, but why would I? We've got the girls' toy of the year, which went to Bratz Funk Out Party. Bratz, is that like the third year running that Bratz has been top of the charts? Something like it.

Wow. We've not gotatz has been top of the charts? Something like it. Wow. We've not got the boys' toy of the year because they either forgot to do one or they just didn't bother this year. But we do have the main award, which is the toy of the year, which went to Robo Sapien by WowWee. What? Never heard of it. I think it's like one of those little robot things that does robot things. Oh, yes. Yeah, I remember those things.

Now I've Googled them and looked at them. Yeah, that's a familiar design to my eyes. I never had one, but pretty cool, I think. I think if you were like 10 years old and you had a robot that said things, you'd be like, whoa, that's me entertained for 12 months. So, yeah. Oh, cool. Well, if that doesn't keep you entertained, maybe a video game might keep you fancy.

Love this bit. If you want to take a guess at the number one game for 2004 go ahead. Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. Okay, what about you Andy? I'm not going to say. I am going to say it.

FIFA 2005 slash 4. If I was to guess something that's not a franchise, Spider-Man 2, I know, came out this year and is genuinely one of the best movie tie-in games ever. I love it. So maybe that. Star Wars Battlefront came out in 2004. That might be in there somewhere. Okay.

Yeah, okay. That might be in there somewhere. Okay. Yeah, okay. That's my guesses. Yeah. So I'd just like to give a shout out to the game at number 15. I'm sure that we all have very fond memories of playing Norton Internet Security 2004. That's counted as a game. I have no idea why it's in the list,

but trust me, it's in the list. I love that game. And since I idea why it's in the list, but trust me, it's in the list. I love that game. And since I've given you number 15, I might as well go from 14 downwards. Why not? So at number 14, we've got FIFA 2004. Bollocks. That's FIFA 2004, though.

Which is actually from 2003. Oh, okay. You're still technically in it. And number 13, Burnout 3 Takedown. Oh, yes. Yes, played that a lot of times in my friend's house. It's that level where the whole point of the mode is just

to cause as much as expensive destruction as you can. That was my favourite level. Lovely stuff. In at number 12, we've got The Sims 2. In at number 11, we got The Sims 2 in at number 11 we have The Incredibles

the game didn't know there was one I didn't know either but apparently there was at number 10 we've got Drift 3 Strider 3

at number 9 Halo 2 at number 8 we've got Need for Speed Underground which I'm pretty sure was in the list last year as well it was yeah yeah very big game was a very big game very good game too

at number 7 I'm sorry Andy it's Spider-Man 2 yeah well at least it showed up I didn't make a fool of myself like I did with Pop Idol so yeah yeah really good game. Like, really good year for games, this. Yeah.

Don't know about this one, though. I've never played it. Number six, Sonic Heroes. Oh, vaguely remember that. Name rings a bell, but that's about all. I was never much of a Sonic person, so... Number five, we've got Pro Evolution Soccer 4. Okay, yep that's the

outsold FIFA did it? Well, it sold the FIFA in the previous year. Yes, that's right. That's the one where they had that deal with PES 3 and 4 are like the only ones that have an actual referee on the cover because they had their Pele

with Jigalina. Which just like shows how much of a star referee he was Is anyone buying these games for the refs? Really? He was a pretty famous ref, he had a very distinctive look and a very distinctive style and so yeah they put him on the front of the game

At number 4 we've got The Simpsons Hit and Run. See, I thought about saying that, but I thought that came out last year. I guess maybe it did, and it just went nuclear in 2004. Yeah, as is often the case. Genuinely fantastic game, Hit and Run. Love it so much. Definitely.

In at number three, this is a game I definitely had, Need for Speed Underground 2. Ah, had. Need for Speed Underground 2. Ah, it was Need for Speed Underground 2 that was the big one. That was the one, I think, that got the silver, the special silver case when it was... They both did, I'm sure. Wow, yeah. I remember Need for Speed Underground 2 being a very big deal

at my primary school. Huge deal. And yet I don't have that many memories of 2. I know with 1 one you'd boot it up and you'd get get low like it's pretty much every time so it's kind of seared into your brain after that okay here we go top two time in at number two for 2004 is fifa 2005 Oh, Andy, so close. I literally, well, not literally, but I figuratively hit the post with that one.

Hey. And in at number one, you already guessed it, Rob. Well done. It's Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. Well done, Rob. So, Andy, it's time to shine a light on the songs that we perhaps wanted to cover, but didn't get a chance to. It's Born to Runner Up, so take it away.

This year was a really interesting one because there are some real contenders, and all three of us went for different things for our favourites. So basically, for those who may have missed last year, Born to Runner Up, we look at every song that got number two in 2004 and was beaten to the top. Every song that got number two but never went any higher. And we secretly, I say secretly, I know the results, but secretly ballot our top ten of the year

and come out with our winner of the Born to Runner Up trophy. Last year's winner was Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake, which I still can't believe never got to number one. I know. But this year, I mean, I will say there is some absolute schlock in the mix. There are no less than three number twos by Ronan Keating this year.

Can you imagine that version of 2004 where we'd had to cover Ronan three times? I mean, the piehole would have been overcrowded, wouldn't it? There's also I Believe My Heart by Duncan, James and Keedy, which is genuinely awful, like laughably terrible. So there was a lot of bad stuff, but there was also some really good stuff. And I'm sure you'll agree when I go into it.

So without further ado, our top five is in fifth place, we went for Lose My Breath by Destiny's Child. Ooh. Okay, yeah, some heavy hitters above this then. Yeah. In fourth place is I Believe In You by Kylie Minogue. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so our top three, and I think all three of these would have been worthy winners. They are all absolutely bangers. But in third place, it's Some Girls by Rachel Stevens. Sorry, Lizzie, that you didn't get to discuss it. Damn you.

I will say, Rob, that before you voted, because Rob voted last, before you voted, Rob voted last Before you voted That was number one In second place It's Trick Me By Khalees Khalees is Always the best mate

Born to run her up Truly born to run her up She can't even She's run her up On our chart as well I know I know Which means that our winner

Of Born to run her up 2004 Is Girls Aloud with Love Machine. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I think Lizzie, does that ease the bruising a little bit from some girls not getting to win this little category?

It does, yeah. I'd like to give a shout-out to Leave It Out by Jojo as well, which just must have landed outside the top five It came in seventh And Milkshake was sixth And then This Show by Girls Aloud Airhostess by Busted You Can Do It by Ice Cube

The Love of Richard Nixon Thank you And Can't Stand Me Now Are all the songs that got votes Everything else got no votes. Well, thank you very much, Andy. Thank you very much. Yeah, thank you.

And now it's time for me to put on my best impression of what's his face? Is it Mark Goodyear or Mike Goodyear? Mark Goodyear, yeah. Do my best impression of him and run down the Christmas top 10. So the top 10 as it was on christmas day which means that we are jumping ahead ever so slightly as we always do because

the song that got number one um on christmas day in 2004 it didn't go straight to number one at christmas it would been number one for a couple of weeks so there'll be a couple of songs here that we've not mentioned so far and it might be a bit of a surprise but here we go, so the top ten on Christmas day in 2004 was as follows at ten it's a brand new entry for Morrissey

with I Have Forgiven Jesus at nine it's down four places, a former number one it's I'll Stand By You by Girls Aloud. At eight, down from seven, it's Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Green Day, He Wore Cologne. Down one from six.

At number seven, it's Lamar, Wondering If There's Any Justice. At six, it's a former number two. Lose My Breath by Destiny's Child. And now into your Christmas top five. It is a new entry for Marion McCall and Kensit with I Got You Babe. At four down one, it's Ice Cube with You Can Do It. And starting off the top three, your Christmas top three. It is I Believe In You by Kylie Minogue. At number two,

just missing out on the top spot for Christmas 2004 is Father and Son by Ronan Keating and Yusuf Islam, obviously better. Cat Stevens. We just about escaped a Ronan Christmas, everybody.

So, that means that the UK official number one on Christmas Day in 2004 was this. It's Christmas time There's no need to be afraid At Christmas time We let in light And we banish shame. And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy. Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time. time but say a prayer

pray for the other ones at Christmas time it's hard but when you're having fun there's a world outside your window and it's a world dark and clear

Well, the only water flowing Is the bitter sting of tears And the Christmas bells that ring there Are the clanging chimes of doom Well, tonight Back on its stand instead of you And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time The greatest gift they'll get this here is life Oh, when nothing ever grows

No rain, no rain, no snow Do they know it's Christmas time at all? Here's to you, raise a glass for everyone Spare a foot, it's your time for the deprived If the tables turned, would you survive? Here's to them, underneath that burning sun You ain't gotta feel guilt, just so flustered Give a little help to the helpless

Do they know it's Christmas time and all Feed the world Feed the world world Feed the world Feed the world Feed the

world Let them know it's Christmas time Let them know it's Christmas time Let them know it's Christmas time Beat the world Let them know it's Christmas time Yeah Yeah Beat the world I can't see the light Be the world

Be the world Be the world Okay, this is Do They Know It's Christmas by Band Aid 20. Released as a standalone single, Do They Know It's Christmas is the first and only single to be released by Band Aid 20 in the UK, and their first and only single to reach number one. The track is a cover of the song originally performed by Band-aid which reached number one in 1984 the song was then covered by band-aid 2 which reached number one in 1989 this is not the last time that we'll be discussing do they know it's christmas on this podcast do they know it's christmas went straight in at number one as a brand new entry knocking Girls Aloud off the top of the charts. It stayed at number one for four weeks. It became the Christmas number one during its third week on the charts.

In its four weeks at the top it sold a total of 1.04 million copies beating competition from You Can Do It by Ice Cube, I Believe in you by kylie minogue father and son by ronan keating and yusuf and against all odds by steve brookstein which got to number two all of them did uh when it was knocked off the top of the charts do they know it's christmas dropped one place to number two by the time it was done on the charts it had been inside the top 100 for 12 weeks the song is currently officially certified two times platinum so double platinum in the uk as of 2023 so andy band-aid 20 take it away yes well i will but i will start if i may with the original band-aid because i kind of want to draw some comparisons, because

context is kind of everything with this one, and this version, Band-Aid 20, and later versions, and, well, yeah, only one later version, they don't get anywhere near not even 5% of the airplay that the original Band-Aid gets.

And that's because it is just better. The thing is with the original Band-aid gets and that's because it is just better like the thing is with the original band-aid is that yes it's hopelessly naive i completely get the criticisms about that and it's extremely patronizing in a vaguely hilarious kind of way but it's it is actually a really nice fun synth pop song that's just it is what it is and its heart is in the right place i think it came out at a time where kind of the way information was spread and globalization perhaps was not quite at a point where they could have realized how naive it was what they were trying to do and there probably

was a genuine intention from all involved to try and use their power and influence and money to try and do some good in the world and yes it's very naive and the world's not as simple as that and all sorts of stuff happened to do with the money that went into band-aid that kind of took away from it but it's you know it's something that you can get on board with as like yes this is generally a good thing and the original is a classic like everybody plays it every year and it's i mean the thing that I've always admired about it is that it gets away with some really bad lyrics.

This is what I mean about being naive. It's that they make some really sweeping claims about Africa. That there won't be any snow anywhere on the continent. A particularly bold claim, I think, is that there are no rivers in Africa. That's going to need to see some evidence on that one please bob um but it's like it's basically fine and i always

like it when i hear it always kind of makes me feel like christmas that is not the same of this one um because the context is so different and importantly, the heart and soul is just absolutely torn out of it. They give it this really pretentious production, this really kind of overly earnest, sincere, like, what if we actually feed the world? You know, like, just this really kind of very, very po-faced approach to it, which is just, come on, like, if you're doing a charity single, and you're kind of trying to be a little bit self-aware about your own power in the world,

you've got to at least have a little bit of fun with it, you've got to get people on board with you, and there isn't really any attempt to do that, it's all very kind of po-faced, oh, isn't it sad, you know, isn't it serious, and the production is really kind of thin, and doesn't really want to get into the spirit of it at all and when you couple that with the context of the time which is very very different you know we're in a far more globalized world people have far more knowledge about the complexity of the issues out there and it's also far less clear what this is actually for like what cause this is going to because we've all become a bit wise to the fact that children starving in Africa, in quotes,

is just kind of a thing people say. Like, it's not one thing. You can't just give money to children starving in Africa. Like, what is it you're doing with this? What does make poverty history actually mean? And no one seems to really know. And it's quite notable that despite the fact that they changed the production so massively

from the original, they don't change any of the lyrics, apart from that bit that we all remember from Dizzy Rascal. They don't change any of the lyrics, really. That it's kind of supposed to be exactly the same thing, despite being in a completely different landscape in the world. And like I say, when you couple that with this really earnest, sincere production that acts like it knows all about the world, you're like, well, no, I'm not buying into this. I don't really trust you to know what this is for. And yeah, I'm probably taking it a little bit seriously,

but the song invites you to take itself really seriously in a way that I find quite patronising, to be honest. It also just, it's just really boring to listen to. It's just, they really kind of sap, like I say, sap the heart of it by taking those drums out and taking those synths out and bringing it to a full stop before the Feed the World where they come back in with,

I think it's Tom Chaplin from Keen who comes in with the Feed the World in a really, really, like, almost like a choir boy kind of voice. I think the artists on it generally are fine. I did enjoy, I, like, almost like a choir boy kind of voice. I think the artists on it generally are fine. I did enjoy, I must say, I really did enjoy playing Guess the Voice on this because obviously with the original, I know everyone on that because you hear it all the time.

But with this, I was like, oh, there's Robbie. And oh, is that Jamelia? And, you know, I liked playing sort of Guess the Artist on this. It kind of had a weird quality as well of almost feeling like a Hit 21 Christmas single because so many of our alumni popped up on this, like Busted and Robbie and Bono. You know, it had that nice kind of quality about it as well. One other thing I have to shout out,

which I've always loved about this as well, is that I'm going to say myth because no one knows for sure, but this persistent, very widely backed up myth that Rachel Stevens was under the impression that you could just turn up and take part, which was not the case. It was by invite only. She turned up, and so she's just in the background

with some headphones on, looking sincere and having no lines. Which is really funny. She probably felt the same about Dick and Dom as well. Dick so easily could have given her a line. There's that line where it's like, I think it's Jamelia and Natasha Bedingfield doing a female harmony,

and it's like, why didn't you just throw her in on that? Or stick her with the sugar babes, or have her do something with anyone else, but they just don't give her any lines at all. Yeah, but no, not a fan of this I was really quite shocked at how much worse this is than the original because when I was looking I was like how bad could this be? It's Do They Know It's Christmas

it's fine, but oh no don't like this version of it at all I do quite like that Dizzy Rascal bit purely because that's like well that's doing something different it's giving it a little bit more of a modern social context but it's a crumb like it's a tiny little crumb um in a song that otherwise does not know what it's about so yeah thumbs down for this one unfortunately ah lizzy how about you yeah i agree with a lot

of your points andy um i think i'll try to discuss the song itself first because I think there's maybe separate discussions to be had about the music video and the geopolitical implications of Band-Aid, so to speak. But, yeah, like you, Andy, just going back to the original, Rob, you gave me a bit more of an appreciation for the original this week. Okay. I still don't for the original this week like okay yeah i still don't i don't love the original either but i will admit that it's a very clever composition like the way it

builds up and introduces the singers one by one like a game of guess who yeah and yeah the production of the original is very of its time but it's quite sparse until sort of later on there's a sense of like emptiness and vastness until like the the pre-chorus kicks in and then it really sort of kicks into gear but what that does is it lets the artist and the message more importantly take center stage plus to its credit it was the first to implement that formula for charity singles that so many others would copy afterwards. Like, We Are The World, Ferry Aid, We're Sending Our Love Down The Well. I was just going to say, We're Sending Our Love Down The Well.

Yeah. But yeah, I agree with you, Andy. This is just a mess. It's like really overproduced, really sort of earnest and knowing and just, I don't think it's done enough to really deserve that. Because sure, it's for a good cause.

But I think like you, Andy, I wasn't quite sure who this was meant to be benefiting. And, like, I'd ask the listeners at home, without looking, I'm sure you know who the original was for the benefit of. Do you know what the 2004 version was in aid of? Without looking? I know what Live 8 in 2005 was about, which was about campaigning to

stop debt to developing African countries, to write off all the debt. This probably wasn't... That wasn't about this, was it? I don't think that was the same. No, no. It was for Darfur in Sudan. Never would have known that. Exactly. Yeah, is it for the... Because this is the

thing, like, they were raised... I think this is where some of the messaging gets a little bit mixed up because obviously they can't show images of a genocide yeah so they get them in the music video to just do the whole starving africans thing and just watch starving africans on the tv and it's like it's a little bit mixed up i don't know if the money went to refugee camps that were in Chad at the time, or whether it was... Because it's hard to send money to people

who are in the middle of being massacred. You know, like... And so I think the money was going to go to the refugee camps, but I don't know if this is the point you're going to make, Lizzie, but I think that the messaging was not strong enough. It was not as strong with this version of Band-Aid as it was with the first one, where it was all about, like,

we must raise money because of the famine in Ethiopia. Whereas with this, it feels like, well, there's refugee camps in Chad because of a genocide in Sudan, but we're going to just show some, like, you know, some generic footage of the same... I wouldn't be surprised if it's

a similar report to the one that was done in 1984 about Ethiopia. And yeah, I get it. It's all a bit mixed messages, which thinks to me... At least to me, it makes it seem a bit broad for me. It's too broad, almost.

It's just vaguely like celebrities doing good stuff to end poverty and world peace. And yeah, it's all a bit wishy-washy for me. But this is exactly what I mean, that by 2004, perhaps compared to 1984, where, like I say, kind of global information was probably not as strong as it was. By 2004, we know that it's not just about money

and it's not just about, you know, let's solve poverty. Like, it's not like big talk on Mitchell and Webber. It's like, come on, guys, we need to get this sorted. How much money? You know, it kind of treats it like that. And we know that that's not the case. You can't do it that way in 2004. Like I say, you can kind of get away with it in 1984 but not now no no i'm jumping ahead a bit but just going back to

the video a minute as well they showed that clip of um burhan waldu who was the the kind of the ethiopian child who was kind of the face of live aid and the original Band Aid. And they show a clip of her in 1984, and she's in the studio at this point as an adult. Yeah, I noticed that. But it's like, again, it just adds to this mixed messaging sort of thing. It's like, if you'd seen that, you would have assumed that is the famine still happening in Ethiopia? Or is this just, like, is there a reason we're being shown this?

Is this relevant? Is this, like, I get that they might just be trying to say, oh, look, we have done some good. Try and ignore all the stuff about how we may have prolonged a civil war. But, you know, there's other places you can read about that. I'm not going to go into that, don't worry. Very interesting. It's a a very very interesting read, I would recommend everybody does look it up

well, there's a video isn't there, by Adam Curtis I think it is Yeah, Odearism Yeah, from Screenwipe which has really opened my eyes to it, yeah, it's brilliant There's also The Dark Legacy of Do They Know It's Christmas

in Spin magazine from 1986. Wow, from only two years after. But anyway, just to get back to the song, in terms of the production, it is really hard to believe that this was produced by long-time Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich. There's several points in the song where it is impossible to hear the

singing over the backing track there's one point in particular that always kind of stands out to me which is, I think it's Miss Dynamite and Beverly Knight where they're doing the nothing ever grows, no rains no river flows and you can't hear them

because they're just drowned out by this like drone of like guitars and drums and timbres it's like why even get them in because sure they're in the video but it again it really does seem like i think it's meant to be part of the appeal that they've they've all got together and they've done this in a weekend and it's great and isn't it great that they've all just cobbled together it's like a 60 minute makeover in song form. I don't really care about that. If it took you three months to make this I wouldn't mind and it would probably sound better because you'd taken the time to really think about the detail and the campaign and the message that you're trying to spread. Instead, you do just get this sense of, ah, we put it together in a weekend,

it's the best we can do, but it's better than nothing, right? And there then comes a question of, like, well, is it better than nothing? Because, again, it's like, I find it hard to support when something doesn't have a particularly clear message about what its purpose is. And yeah, just going back to the song, on like a bass level,

it's far too long, this version. And by the end, you know, they're doing the... They all sound like they're yawning or something like please can we just go home fuck me I really don't like this one and the more the week has gone on the less I've liked this

like there's not been many number ones this year that I've got quite angry thinking about but this is one of them I was really surprised because you two listened to it before I did and was discussing it before I did and I was like

it can't be that bad, like it's Do They Know It's Christmas, like come on it can't be but I was really shocked when I listened to it of like god there are so many problems with this like this is just like you said it's a mess. Yeah. Just before I go into my notes,

I just want to list the participants, by the way, from the Wikipedia page. We're going to see how many of them make it through to Band Aid 30. So we've got organisers and producers. We've got Midge Ur, Nigel Godrich, as you mentioned, Bob Geldof uh damon albarn and harry sutcliffe instruments were played by danny goffey from supergrass on drums tom york on piano and johnny greenwood on guitar from radiohead um paul mccartney on bass justin hawkins

and dan hawkins from the darkness on guitar and phil collins uh also playing drums then we've got vocals from tim wheeler from ash daniel beddingfield natasha beddingfield bono busted kat dealy chris martin dido who performs kat dealy apparently yeah uh dido who performs separately from a studio in melbourne dizzy rascal the only artist to add lyrics to the song m Ms. Dynamite, Sky Edwards, Estelle, Grant Nicholas from Feeder, Neil Hannan from The Divine Comedy, Justin Hawkins also provide vocals as well, Jamelia, Tom Chaplin from Keen, Tim Rice-Oxley from Keen, Beverly Knight, Lamar, Shaznay Lewis of All Saints, Katie Melua, Rasheen Murphy of Maloko, Gary Lightbody from snow patrol, Rachel Stevens, just stone sugar babes, the thrills cheering breaks. Robbie Williams performed separately from a studio in Los Angeles.

Will young and Fran Healy was the lead singer of Travis. Um, I'd also like it known that list of Rivers in Ethiopia is a Wikipedia page they have so many rivers that they have a Wikipedia page before I talk about Band Aid 20 I'm going to do some words about the original

which like you Andy I like it just about the lyrical content has aged terribly and was probably a mark of not just naivety but a little bit of hubris at the time as well um but i think it is a warm and nostalgic feel-good christmas song made by a bunch of people who felt like they had to do something to help an outrageous humanitarian crisis but they didn't quite know what that something was.

I think, like you were saying, Andy, they were a bit naive and a little bit Eurocentric when it came to the topic at hand. Whenever I listen to the 1984 version and I'm cringing at lines like, tonight, thank God it's them instead of you, and there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time, and no rain or rivers flow. I try my best to remember that the song was made very quickly by a bunch of white Brits who watched a dreadful 1984 BBC report about the famine in Ethiopia, and they were moved by it. They had their heart in the right place on the whole but they were too heavily influenced by

a limited viewpoint and they went in like no holds barred taking no prisoners they went in with all of the hubris and good intentions and naivety that a bunch of white brits could do when they see a problem and they go we must solve this we must be the ones to solve it because like having having a limited viewpoint isn't necessarily a crime and especially not like you were saying andy in an era before the internet and before globalization really took hold um i'm not saying that we should give them a break because it's a sign of hubris that you bluster through your own ignorance and take loads of credit for doing something amazing

um but they did want to help at least and they did recognize that the world's governments weren't going to do anything so why not get people to help other people you know let's use our fame to achieve things that politics can no longer achieve because of bureaucracy and red tape and whatnot even if they did ultimately arguably end up making things worse by again ignorantly but also slightly inadvertently handing at least some of the money and food over to a guy who then used it to prolong a civil war um plus you've got that clip of the bit from i Don't Like Mondays being performed at Live Aid, where Bob Geldof, how to die! How to die!

Where he soaks up the applause while scowling for 30 seconds. And I think, like, is your message entirely, you know, are your intentions entirely humanitarian? If you're going to look like a rock star while doing a fist, you know, and being like, yeah, look at me in my tight black skinny jeans look how good i am um it makes the whole thing look like more of a vanity project than a genuinely altruistic endeavor and then i was watching live eight and he does it again he does it again he does the same thing as in like oh this is a reference to however many years ago 21

years ago and we're doing the same thing now how to die how to die the politics and context are complicated I think it could be best summed up by the phrase well meaning white saviourism but I do think that

it is a lovely composition it's not often you get number one singles that are entirely linear and don't really feature much of a chorus you know it still builds that tension though while finally you reach that feed the world which okay yeah we've talked about the naivety and whatnot but it does sound genuinely triumphant like they've reached a point of this is what we must do and we can sum it up in three words and i love the one thing that this uh 2004 version does not have that the 1984 version does have which is that when they go feed the world and they get the the synth leads to like augment it with lovely really high harmonies that human vocals can't reach and it just it makes the whole thing sound like it really you really do get that feeling of 50 people in a room just like you

know belting it out and you know let's you know let's make this fun let's do something you know fun that we can all get involved with and maybe raise some money at the same time but unfortunately the 2004 version it's deficient compared to the original in many ways but the thing where i really think i could charge it with like you were saying andy is that it doesn't use the gift of hindsight that it has all the lyrics are the same which means that 20 years of minor backlash and criticism haven't given them pause for thought um and the one thing that i genuinely do absolutely love and adore about the original is the warm slightly swollen slightly globby analog electronic production reminds me of sitting in my mom

and dad's car as a really young child who was finally old enough to understand and appreciate christmas it's all replaced with this earnest man-pain coffee pop nonsense that genuinely sounds awful but there are bits of this that sound like they've not actually tuned their instruments up properly and there's so much going on that it's this constant fight for space um nearly all of the vocal performances feel unnatural and really emotionally affected in a way that feels so false like you can see them pulling all their best sympathetic singing faces in the video and then you have that god-awful final minute that sounds like a bunch of kids just whacking instruments and playing them for the first time just this cacophonous like you're saying lizzie this drone

that just appears it's horrible um and i think it it just about retains enough of the original to avoid the pie hole for me but we're the other side of sending our love down the well and i just think like even adding a young urban representative like dizzy rascal to do a little rappity rap over it and modernize it doesn't it adds a little bit i suppose it's quite striking if you compare it to the original but i don't know it's not his best work. No. I actually think that this version better resembles the live version of Do They Know It's Christmas that was performed at 10pm

on the day of Live Aid as the last song of the night, which is a mess. But that's after, like, 10 hours of live performances. Yeah. And everybody's knackered and everybody's a little bit drunk,

I imagine, from being backstage. And they're all like, you know, there's this bit where Bono performances yeah and everybody's knackered and everybody's a little bit drunk i imagine from being backstage and they're all like you know there's this bit where bono does that incredibly pretentious ad-libbing at the end where everyone's singing let them know it's christmas time and then he goes let them know that springtime is coming it's hilarious and it is like the genesis of bono's ego just like you know becoming the size of several small planets combining like some kind of big bang but like i think i dislike this one so much more is because they had 20 years to make a better version of this and they just made a worse one a lazier one one, one that, like, I don't know, it just, I'd be really curious, because I haven't fully heard Band-Aid 30, and I don't know if they go for the same

thing, or the same style, but as I often say on this show, the early 2000s have more in common with the 1980s than they do with the early 2010s, even though we're only 10 years away from band aid 30 there's that they then hindsight hits and they start changing the lyrics and they get rid of all the ones that even in 1984 you know my parents generation or our parents generation who all loved you know band aid and were there for live aid and they all remember exactly where they were when they played that montage of starving children in Ethiopia over it was music drive by the cars

and that was when the money really started rolling in on the telethon they repeat that on Live Aid as well that was the first time I saw that, they repeat that on Live Aid too so again confusing but even they, even my parents have always, you know they're big u2 fans as well but they've always been uncomfortable with that bono line which it's

one that i still don't understand to this day like why did they think that was a good idea like just don't have any kind of remote selfishness in it just get rid of it what i don't know why they thought that like oh yeah let's say like well at least it's then there in africa and not me but suffering at least i'd like what i think it's supposed to be like a kind of um you know sort of making the audience feel guilty thing or like oh i bet you're glad this isn't you aren't you but yeah it's a weird line though really i've got a story about that line later actually but i'll let you finish but well i was basically just sort of coming to the end anyway which is that like the lyrical content is what it is um it's from a different time and from a different era of information and globalization and it is incredibly ignorant but

it's a thing of its you know it's very much i think there was obviously there were so many songs that are very much of their time but there is something about the urgency of at which and the haste at which band-aid was put together and then how no one you know band-aid never came back they never did anything else you know so it So it's like it preserves an exact moment of like the six or seven months between Christmas 84 and July 85. I could have a go at Band-Aid for basically, I think this is the point where the,

well, 1984 is the point where the race for christmas number one as people like to remember it the kind of top of the pops glam rock era of the 70s this is where it dies yeah because definitely now and forever it's just oh we'll release a charity single and get Christmas number one. And that seems to be the blueprint forever from this point, both from 1984 and from 2004. Because I think we've gone a few years in the 90s and the 2000s without an overt charity single being number one at Christmas. But from 2004 onwards again, it's like,

being number one at Christmas but from 2004 onwards again it's like you get X Factor finalists doing charity things and Hero and all these ones that we're going to have to cover later on are just guaranteed number ones They do that with X Factor

so that they don't have to give the Christmas single to charity, they get it in early with the charity single so that the actual winner's single is just for Simon Cowell. You get a lot more charity number ones in general. We've already seen this trend start this year, but

yeah, a lot of comic relief coming up. And Helping Katie comes up as well, and there's The Justice Collective, which is for Grenfell, I think, isn't it? Oh, no, Artists for Grenfell. Yeah, Bridge Over Troubled Water. Captain Tom was the number one.

Captain Tom. You've got Gareth Malone and his various choirs. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're going to have to go through a lot of those. And I think that, at least in a 21st century context, this might be the, oh, charity singles are getting number one again. I see.

So, you know, in the 80s, there's a bit of a trend of them, and then i see so you know in the 80s is a bit of a trend of them and then it kind of goes away through the 90s where like the spice girls get three consecutive number ones uh christmas and little things like that but yeah this feels like we're in a 21st century context now and charity singles are back baby with a vengeance um and yeah this is not great this is a crap, I do think it retains just about enough of the original to just avoid the pie hole, it kind of hits the post, it's getting pretty close, but yeah, where the first one has all of its problems is kind of like this lovely, warm, comforting, like, you know, this like,, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, you know, slightly jolly Christmas song.

This just feels very over-earnest in a way that I find very painful. But, Lizzie, yes, you had a story about the Bono line. Yeah, just a really quick one, but specifically about the Bono line in this song, in that there was originally a recording of this with Justin Hawkins doing that line. Oh, I didn't know that. That would have been good.

Apparently they had a bit of a falling out because Bono wanted to do it and his management kicked up a stink. Oh, come on. Did that then not create this little stat that exists where Bono was the only person to sing the same line on both versions of the song and 2014

as well, he does it on that one too yes, but they change the line don't they, it's the tonight we're reaching out and searching you which they definitely came up with on the day the one thing that this

does have over the original is that you can hear the voices of women and people who aren't white yes um that that's something at least you know modern britain now you know because that is something that does drag down the original a bit where it's like oh we got all these people involved and we got banana i just i'm quite struck by that moment in the original music video where right at the end before the coda you see your first woman and your first not white person and they get them all in in a montage where bananarama turn up in a car and then you've got a couple of other faces and you're like oh why weren't they in the studio

at the beginning and it's like yeah oh well we got banana armor in just to like shout at the end and it's all just paul young and boy george and sting and bono and where are the women there are lots of famous women in 1984 like donna summer alice and moye where are they like yeah maybe i mean to be honest there could be a, I don't know if this is true, but maybe they reached out and they were like, no, no thanks, but yeah, very weird moment in that video, so at least, you know, I mean, you get a woman on the second line in this, so, you know, even if she's not in the same country, but still, well done, you know, points there um i'm curious to see who on this version makes it onto the 2014 version because i can't remember who's on the 2014 version apart from bono uh and robbie williams maybe well on this one it's bono and paul mccartney who the two that were on the

original as other than like geldof and midior who aren't who aren't technically on it as such but no no they're just involved yeah yeah uh okay right so we come to the final point of order um and it's the bit that i think everybody sort of looks forward to i say this every well not every year uh every three months but andy you going to read out our bottom five songs of the year and then our top ten. So take it away. Yes. Well, we had a little bit of a dramatic climax to the worst of the year

because we had a tie between two songs. And so just before we went on the air, we had to decide between the three of us which one escapes and the one that escaped the bottom five was Do They Know It's Christmas, funnily enough so our bottom five By the way, can I just interrupt are any of us putting that in

the pie hole or the vault? Not for me I'm just about missing the pie hole Really? I'm putting it in the pie hole. Okay, well, it has a pie hole vote, so it will go on our brand-spanking-new pie hole playlist. No contributions to the vault this week, unfortunately.

So that bottom five. So the one that lost out in that vote and sneaks in in fifth place, our fifth worst song of the year was With a Little Help from My Friends by Sam and Mark which is, er, was rubbish. I would have put that lower than fifth

so, yeah. Then, in fourth place we've got Radio by Robbie Williams. Both those songs, by the way, and Do They Know It's Christmas all had an average score of four out of 10 From us

Listen to the Hits 21 Bottom 5 And you might hear a song you know Well in third place Is another song from just a few weeks ago During this awful period that we've been through With an average score of 3.3 It is Real To Me by

Brian McFadden. Oh, wow. That is low. But even lower than that, another one. This one from just last week, actually. It is Just Lose It by Eminem

in second worst track of the year with an average score of just 3. 3.0. All three of us put that in the pie hole. Very narrowly misses out on the worst song of the year this time. I say narrowly though because it's quite a gap.

I mean, that got an average score of 3 and the worst song of the year got a thunderously poor 2.3 average from us I do think this is the worst song of the year probably one of the worst songs we've ever covered on the show

It is F.U.R.B F.U. Right Back by Frankie is our worst song I hit number 1 in 2004 Yeah Not a surprise I will say, before we go is our worst song I hit number one in 2004 yeah not a surprise no I will say

before we go into the top ten that I think 2004 has been probably the weakest year so far yeah

I think so yeah and yeah but there has been some gold there's been some gold and we'll get there

yeah there's been some gold yeah so into our top ten of the year and it's quite because it's been a weak year we'll get there yeah there's been some gold yeah so into our top 10 of the year and it's quite because it's been a week here it's quite a low bar for entry our 10th place only got an average score of 6.5 which is low you know it's easy to get in this year and that is these words by natasha beddingfield gets our number 10 spot okay yeah yeah right above that in ninth place is babyakes by Three of a Kind

Quite surprised that made it in because we were all quite sort of solid but not wowed by it but that makes it in with an average score of 6.7 and slightly above that also on 6.7 but with a higher vote than Rob which makes a difference

In 8th place it's obviously by McFly oh well done to them but McFly are beaten to 7th place by McFly

with 5 colours in her hair with an average score of 7 all 3 of us gave it 7 out of 10 yeah yeah

and number 6 it may have been the biggest song of the year in the US, but not for us. It is Yeah by Usher. Again, with an average score of seven, making it into sixth place. God, none of these songs so far would have even made the top ten last year.

The top five I do think is quite good. Still, though, we've not reached anything that made it into the vault, but finally we have one that made it into the vault. In fifth place, it is Thunderbirds slash 3AM by Busted with an average score of 7.3. And that is, of course, the record of the year in the real world. It's not quite our

record of the year, but it's the first one that's been anywhere near in contention. But that's beaten by a song that all three of us put in the vault. It is Lola's Theme by Shapeshifters in number four. Yeah, good. I think that's beaten by a song that all three of us put in the vault. It is Lola's Theme by Shapeshifters in number four. Yeah, good. I think that's the first song we've had so far where I've been like, yeah, that deserves to be in the top ten.

Yeah. In third place, it's Every Time by Britney Spears with an average score of 8.8. Pretty great. Pretty great song. Yeah. And also with an average score of 8.8 in second place

it is Dry Your Eyes by The Streets. Another great song. Dry Your Eyes, mate. You only got second place but you know there's plenty more years in the sea. There's plenty more hits in the vault. And there is one hell of a leap up to number one

with an average score of 9.8. Hell of a leap upwards. Before I announce this, I'm going to quickly bring on Tattoo all the way from Russia to hand over last year's trophy and give the tiara to this year's winner. Tattoo, of course, won last year with all the things she said, but this year's winner is Toxic

by Britney Spears. Yes. Deserved winner. I think we all knew it was going to be the winner. Absolutely stunning song, put in the vault by all three of us. It got a 9.5 from Robin, a 10 from me and Lizzie it is absolutely wonderful

wonderful classic pop music very nice of Tattoo to come all the way from Russia 200km an hour in the wrong lane as well putting their lives on the line just to hand over the crown to Britney Spears I told them what their contribution was going to be

to the show and they said this is not enough But anyway Yes so I mean also worth pointing out That it's yet another Female winner we still Have never given our record of the year To anyone who isn't female That includes bands we've had All Saints

Sugar Babes Kylie Minogue Tattoo, and now Britney Spears. We just love our women on this show. So let's see what happens. I think next year it might change. I was about to say, I have a feeling we might have a bit more competition in that front next year. Yeah, I think it's going to get spicy next year.

I think next year it's a really open field. Okay, I mean, not to burst the illusion, but I do think it was pretty obvious that Toxic was going to win this year from early on. Next year, it's going to be close, I think. It's going to be very interesting. There were several points this year where the number

twos were better than the number ones, and that is not the case in 2005. Yeah. So, we will see you in 2005. Yeah, yeah. So, we will see you in 2005. We are going to take a teeny break of a week just to prepare

for the new year and for the new season, for the beginning of 2005. When we come back we'll be covering that opening period. So thank you very much for listening to all of our episodes about 2004 and we'll see you in the future so bye bye now

bye bye