Hits 21 - 2010 (2): Jason Derulo, Tinie Tempah, Lady Gaga & Beyonce, Scouting for Girls

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/cw/Hits21UKBLUESKY: https://bsky.app/profile/hits21podcast.bsky.socialINSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/hits21uk/We're back! Hits 21 has jumped 11 years into the future from 1999, landing in 2010. Things are different. There's a guy who says his own name like a Pokemon, there's a new UK rapper on the scene, Beyonce and Gaga have teamed up, and Roy Stride has a massive tongue.Rob, Andy, and Ed take their first steps into the 2010s.

HITS21. All right there, everyone. Welcome back to HITS21, the 2010s, where me, Rob, me, Andy, and me, Ed, are now looking back at every single UK number one of the 2010s, email us at HITS21 Podcast at gmail.com. You can also follow us on Instagram and Blue Sky. The links for them are in the description. And if you want to part with £3 a month, there's a Patreon page with a load of extra content,

which will be revealing very soon. For only three pounds. Only three pounds. Exactly. Thank you ever so much for joining us again. We are currently looking back at the year 2010, our second episode of the year, and this week we'll be covering the period

between the 28th of February and the 17th of April. So nearly as winter moves into spring, Andy, the UK album charts for this little bit of 2010. How are they looking? Well, it's a bit of a complex thing to explain, but anyone who was around at the time will sort of remember what I'm talking about here, because the first one in this period that gets number one is officially the fame by Lady Gaga, which went 12 times platinum and was number one for just one week at first. However, it's the fame

monster, really. The fame monster was released as an EP, which produced bad romance, telephone, Alejandro, a bunch of other fantastic songs, and it was packaged as part of the fame with the UK, which meant that it's not an entity in its own right in our charts. However, it is the fame monster that's propelling this. So that's at number one for one week. Before it's toppled briefly by Ellie Golding with Lights, which went number one for one week and went two times platinum. Quite surprised by that.

That felt like a really big deal at the time. I thought it would have done better than double platinum. But anyway, boys own of all people, unbelievably, managed another number one album in 2010, everyone, with Brother, which went single, platinum, all it deserves. And then Lady Gaga's back in with the fame monster again for another week before Boyzone are back in for another two weeks and then Lady Gaga for one more week. It really is a bit of a Argentine tango face-off between Boisone and Lady Gaga, if you can picture

such a thing. All right. In the news in the UK, Prime Minister Gordon Brown begins the process of dissolving Parliament, triggering a general election that will take place later this year. and policing powers in Northern Ireland are handed over from Westminster to the Northern Ireland Executive. In response, the IRA detonates a car bomb outside the MI5 building in County Down. In international news, a cloud of ash from the erupting Icelandic volcano, I've had to write this down, Aya Fialayokul, grounds flights across northern and western Europe. In Russia, 38 people are killed when two suicide bombers belonging to the Caucasus, group detonate explosives on the city's metro underground.

In TV news, analog connections are switched off in Wales, making them the First Nation in the United Kingdom to complete the digital switchover, and Matt Smith takes over as the Doctor on Doctor Who, attracting 8.4 million viewers for his first episode after replacing David Tennant. The films to hit the top of the UK box office were as follows Alice in Wonderland, Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang.

Oh, sorry, no. Alice in Wonderland, Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang, and Clash of the Titans. Caught me there, Nanny McPhee. Ed, the US charts. How are they? Who cares? Matt Smith's on the telly. Oh, yeah, well, Billboard Number One albums,

it is a busy and strange time. Sharday holds the top spot for two further weeks, before the Thompson twins Sorry, my brain is still struggling with this Let me try that again Sharday holds the top spot for two further weeks Look, you know Diamond Life wasn't even a number one album In the UK or US in the first place

So this is super fucking weird Anyway, this clear time travel fuckery by Shade Is once more bookended by Lady Ante For One More Week Before Ludacris Makes a few bucks for a week Well comprehensively sort of the legs off his own career with Battle of the Sexes.

Do you remember that? Barely. Yeah, that's probably apt. But no one can stop Lady Antebellum, even with a cringy postmodern name like that, from returning for another week of chart friendly country. If there were any doubt that we were in the 2010s, though, here's Justin Bieber.

He does, however, try to pretend it isn't by calling his album Justin Bieber 2.0. Check out the AOL music channel for more. Finally, and further confusing our sense of time, we have a week of Usher, already a long-time veteran, with Raymond versus Raymond, which, to me at least, sounds like a Nickelodeon pilot from 1999. Singles, a lot less busy and less temporarily confusing on the whole.

Breaking Keshe's insane nine-week streak, it's a rapidly weakening black-eyed peasant. with I'm a B, B, B, B Push Pineapple Shake a Tree I'm a B, B, B, B what do you expect from me? Will I am, Fergie too,

there are others in the crew but I do not care. After two weeks of that, it's Teo Cruz for one week with Break Your Heart. Is it Tio or Teo? It's kind of interchangeable. I've heard it mentioned both ways, actually, yeah. Here's a good question.

Who cares? I was about to say, that's apt. It's like, it's interchangeable. Anyway, Mr. Kruz has one week of Break Your Heart.

What a rude boy he is interrupting Will I Am's obligatory placeholder number one of the quarter. Rihanna herself stops to comment on the rudeness of Mr. Kruz for three weeks

at the top and counting. Eddie, briefly mentioned chart friendly country there, and that's as good a segue as any to briefly mention Dolly Parton, if we may. Yes. It will date the episode, of course,

but at time of recording, just yesterday, Dolly Parton passed away, and I feel like that's a celebrity death and a musical death of such magnitude that we can't really ignore that. We have to acknowledge that. I was a huge, huge fan,

as Oli. I'm a husband in particular, really huge fan. Feels like something momentous has really been lost. I just adored her. She's just one of life's wonderful people, and we've only ever talked about

to tangentially on this show because we had an island in the stream but not here and i will always love you but not hair both times we were extremely complimentary over but yeah a real a real gem of a human being and an unbelievably talented musician gone so thank you for everything dolly yeah no i think i think that's totally right to say and i will say as well that it took me far too long into my life to really you know look at dolly parton's career i was in my late teens early 20s and i remember thinking all right i'll just go for the, you know, what should I listen to first? Oh, I know. Well, let's go with Jolene, shall we? You know, that album. And so I was listening to it and then buried on

Side B. I think it's track nine on the album overall, just lonely coming down. Fantastic. Really, really, really fantastic. That's my favorite song of hers, Lonely Coming Down. Yeah, I really did not expect to be, you know, I didn't, to want to say, didn't expect to get the news, first of all, because she still felt present and current. You know, she only did an interview with People magazine about a week before. You know, my mum messaged me. She was like, oh, you know, I was only talking about her about 15 minutes ago saying I've not heard much of an update from her recently. I hope she's all right. And so, yeah, just very, very tragic. She was a favourite of my mum's as well. So, the first song up this week is this.

Okay, this is In My Head by Jason Derulo. I shouldn't say that, should I should say, Jason Derulo, released as the second single from his debut studio album titled, Jason Derulo. In My Head is Jason Derulo's second single to chart in the UK and his first to reach number one, and it's not the last time we'll be coming to Mr. Derulo

during our 2010's coverage. In My Head went straight in at number one as a brand new entry. It stayed at number one for one week. In its first and only week atop the charts, it sold 68,000 copies, beaten competition from Starry-Ey-Eyed by Ellie Golding and Wear My Kiss by Sugar Babes. After one week at the top, in my head, fell two places to number three. It stayed inside the top 100 for 23 weeks. The single is currently officially certified platinum in the UK. As of 2026, Andy, you can go first with Mr. D.

Mr. J.D. We're calling him now. We're rebranding him. Okay. I mean, first of all, just a mild correction that he said, Ellie Golden with Starry-eyed. It's actually storioid. Sorry, yes, I've pronounced it.

She obviously has... I feel so sorry for her. She has a terrible affliction, which means she can't pronounce vowels properly. She just takes a random start but any particular vowel every time she encounters one. God, drives me so mad.

Good old cursive singing. Here's the origin point. This feeling insuit. Oh, God. Anyway, this, yes. So Jason D'Ruolo, as I should say, I feel like that's the only thing anyone remembers about him now, but what a gimmick that was back in the day

of just singer's name in the exact same way at the start of every song. It's like a sort of Perl and Dean intro music at the cinema. Everybody remembers the Jason Derulo thing. That was going on at the time. I sang the word thing there. You can have that for free. But other than that, I mean,

you would expect from that, from the fact that everybody has his calling card for him that he would have a memorable back catalogue of some sort and not really. This is like his biggest hit and it's just fine, it's generic. It's right out of the same category as Tyo Cruz, funnily enough, which I'd mentioned, but also out of the same category as a lot of JLS's stuff and a lot of stuff that was coming out from the likes of Usher

and stuff at the time. EDM has fully taken over here and this is just one of many, many, many interchangeable. songs from this time. I really don't think there's anything special about it at all. But that Jason Derulo thing is just like, who came up with that idea? I like to think that's because of the red one thing, because that caught on so well on just dance, the red one at the beginning. And everyone was like, who's Red One? Why does she say that? Does she say Red Wine? We must sing it. And other artists started singing Red One at the start as well. And I think maybe he thought, oh, I've got to get in on that. Everyone knows who this songwriter is.

So let's make sure everybody knows who Jason DeRulo is. And we do. We still do. But yeah, I've got very little to say about this, and I'm impressed. I've made it to the couple of minutes that I have. It's not in my head. Yeah, it's just, it's a song that exists, and I acknowledge its presence. I can confirm that it's real, that it's not fictional, that it was released in the year 2010, and that it is being discussed on the show.

It's 21 with Andy, Ed and Rob. That's my verdict. Yeah, with this, I feel like I'm probably going to run into this problem a few times in the 2010s, where I think it's going to be hard to fully come down either way on quite a few songs, purely because I think the 2010 is maybe the worst period for pop songs, not really trying to do anything or say anything or be any kind of artistic statement of some kind. And I think the 2010s are quite a bad time for some. songs reaching the top of the charts because they don't do much more than fitting in with the

current scene and people's current expectations. Like the only surprise this really packs is that like the rhythm section has more of a rock feel to it than the current, you know, pop landscape. It feels a bit more live tracked. And the midi sense kind of are there to like simulate guitars. But that's like, you know, the bare minimum really. That's not even really a surprise. the bar is quite low, I think, if that's a surprise. But, you know, despite the lack of surprise, this isn't unpleasant. You know, it does all of the basic stuff, but it does it in a pleasant way. There's some nice vocal harmonies decorating the edges of the chorus.

You know, Jason's a charming enough vocalist when he's not trying to rap. And we'll be talking about Jason at odd intervals through the rest of the decade. Sometimes he will rap. Sometimes he won't. and this is the first of five number ones. You're shitting me, what? Over seven years, five number ones. A few of them as featured artists, but still,

although I will say in the second verse, something that really does turn me off him in this song, because you're supposed to feel heated about this song. You're supposed to feel sexy. You know, he's always been very quick to put images in your mind of, like, sex and his naked body and, you know, sex with other women and, you know, things like that. you know, like, in that want-to-want-me song,

the first night is like, the first line's like, it's too hot to sleep. I've got the sheets on the floor, nothing on me. And it's all like, oh, yeah, okay, you know, I'm getting into this, Jason.

You're quite a, you know, buff guy, nice images, that kind of thing. But in the second verse of this, when he just says, let's skip four play, what? That's like, what,

that's really fun. That's the fun bit. But, nah, never mind. I want to know. Depends what mood you're in. Depends what, type of a lover you are. He's catering to all markets. It's quick and painful. Yes. I'm going to be honest, I don't think we as a podcast are prepared for this discussion of

like our preferences in the bedroom. To be fair to Jason, he did, you know, he did bring this out, you know, he did bring this thought out of me with that line in the song, but I just thought, you know, come on, Jason, I want to be warmed up a bit first. Like, you know. Noted, Rob. Especially with the guy I don't know, like Jason, but never mind. Ed, in my head. in my head there you go you can have that one out of my head um which is how I've been described by many partners

um yeah do you know what I like in bed do you know what I want I want I do oh sorry that's the wrong song we yet to come to that sexy gentle love jam give it a few years yet can he wait for that one yeah just looking at my notes here

sorry I was drawn by to cleaning a lavatory at work while that song played for the umpteenth time. Yes. That is a memory bird in my head with my surgical gloves on. Don't mind cleaning toilets. I can deal with this song, but combine Jason Derello, as I used to call him, and cleaning toilets. And that's a recipe for, it's a recipe for trauma. Anyway, I'm just stalling here.

Yet, this represents something, I think. I would have found this bizarrely impenetrable at the time. I know it sounds as simple as anything, but I was so far outside understanding and expectations in terms of chart pop at the time. I had spent a lot of the 2000s in my own little bubble of like 60s and 70s music, which was very much kind of capital R romantically based

and full of a lot of, you know, like classical and jazz-influenced chord change. and harmony was a big deal. I was a very fay eternal beach boys fan. And I don't think I quite realized that, you know, I was always listening for the harmony in songs. And I think this is an era where it really, that's not the point of a lot of songs, isn't it?

You do get those four chords a lot. And I've made my piece with that. And I realize now it's like, hey, it's the rhythm, it's the arrangement, it's the performance, it's most importantly the melody that's the big changer between a good or a bad song. And this one, as you've indicated, is fine. It's okay, but even more so than replay, which had a similar kind of vibe. It does stretch its core ingredients to the absolute limit.

And I don't find it as charming or energetic as replay either. it does just sound like they have done the bare minimum that is necessary to do something catchy with a catchy hook that will stick, it will get to number one, and then Jason Derulo and everyone else can all just go home to their clean toilets. It's made to be forgotten this, isn't it? I doubt it's anyone's favourite Jason Derulo song, let alone anyone's favourite song of the year. I mean, I'm no doubt wrong, but... I've got a question for you, Ed.

I've started so finished when you were doing that toilet cleaning job and this song was on all the time annoying you if you um if you notice that this better be good man if you noticed that one of the cubicles

was out of toilet paper would someone would someone shout replace the luro oh I was looking for the right luro joke to put in well fucking done that was worth it

well done thank you you have saved this segment you know if you should tickle yourself that was just goodness me top quality toilet I must phone Jason Derulo

and thank him because without this song in his career we wouldn't have had that joke yeah exactly if nothing else that will be his legacy toilet roll joke thank you Jason Derulo

all right The second song up this week is this. It's okay, I'm good. Let's go. Bring the stars out. We bring the women and the cars and the cards out. Let's have a toast of celebration, get a glass out. And we can do this until we pass out.

We hit the ground. Yeah. Pass out. Yeah. I'm in charge now. I'm a star and I used to listen to you. Don't want to bring arms out. I've got so many clothes I keep some in.

my arms house. Disturbing London, baby, we're about to branch out. Soon I'll be the king like Prince Charles Pard. Comedy pressure. Semester to semester. Raving with a fresher. 20 light bulbs around my table and my dresser. CLC compressor just in case that don't impressor.

Okay, this is Pass Out by Tiny Temper and Labyrinth. Released as the lead single from his debut studio album titled Discovery. Pass Out is Tiny Temper's first single to chart in the UK and his first to reach number one. and it's not the last time we'll be coming to Mr. Temper during our 2010's coverage. This is also the first and last number one in the UK credited to Labyrinth. Pass out went straight in at number one as a brand new entry. It stayed at number one for two weeks. In its first week atop the charts, it sold 92,000 copies,

beating competition from Never Be Your Woman by Wiley and Emily, gave it all away by Boyzone and Parishol. shoot by Cheryl Cole and in week two it sold 65,000 copies beating competition from Baby by Justin Bieber on a mission by Gabriella Chilmy and my name by McLean. After two weeks at the top pass out dropped one place to number two. It stayed inside the top 100 for 65 weeks. The single is currently officially certified three times platinum in the UK. As of 2026, big deal. Andy, kick us off with this one.

Oh, I will kick us off with this one. Yes. What an intro that is. Oh, and I've always loved kind of recreating that intro. It's just, oh, this whole song is just so much fun. And I will not be playing my cards close to my chest. I bloody love this. And from my taste at the time, you would not have expected so,

because I was still on my way out of my, you know, oh, it's mainstream music, man, and I only like music with real instruments, man. I was still in that phase, where I was very into the likes of Muse and Green Day and anything that was just pure guitars. And this really, like, was one of those things that's like, yeah, I can't really deny this.

I kind of love how this sounds, because there's just so many ideas. Like, it's got that fantastic synth-hook, but it's also got some, very peculiar lyrics, which I'll get into. It's catchy as anything. And it has a sort of weird structure to it. It's like it's very straight down the line pop verse, chorus, bridge structure.

But it feels like it's a different genre entirely. It's kind of playing a trick on us. Which is like, is this rap? Is this dance? Is this pop? Because it feels like straight down the line pop. But there's obviously a lot more to it otherwise. And this little genre that occupied the space of only really about 2009, 2011.

maybe a little bit longer, but that little microgenre, I just really fell in love with it, and I loved it at the time, really loved this, really loved stuff by like the likes of, like, Tinchy Stride and things like that. Like, as much as very throwaway, it was so much fun. Labyrinth, I loved Labyrinth, really loved Earthquake by Labyrinth. But yeah, there was loads of these kind of artists who really loved. Plan B, that's the other one, Plan B, used to really, really love this kind of popification and dancification of rap music, and as much as it might feel like a little bit of heresy to the

original genre. It's just, it's just a lot of fun. And it's helped along by the fact that it has some lyrics in this that are just striking. Like, not just the first verse, which has a memorable bit in and it's a very, very, very wild lifestyle, and a... Where it's just like all sorts of memorable little moments. But then there's the, never been to Scunthorpe, got so many clothes that keep some at my aunt's house, which to this day, whenever he needs to have a clear out of anything. My husband, like, if I've got too many clothes, my husband will sell,

you've got so many clothes, you keep some at your aunt's house, which, yeah, is annoying, because it makes me feel like I'm being held off, but it's funny. And, yeah, there's just something really kind of quietly iconic about this, and very, very influential.

I think it's a little bit too long, and I would like a little bit more variation in terms of structure, and I do think those lyrics are, they do border on a little bit too silly sometimes, but the chorus is a killer, the production on this is a killer, there's so many fantastic little bits in this that just keep me entertained throughout.

I don't have many complaints about it, to be honest, and I think it's a real breath of fresh air, because the way that the sound of pop music is going at this time, as we've seen with Jason DeRulo, it's very easy for that to become really generic, really soulless, really artificial, and this is the poster child, I think, for how EDM music can be harnessed into something that's really exciting and new.

And I remember this being on in clubs when I was at my first year of uni, which was later in 2010. And this used to bring the house down. This, an earthquake and dynamite by Tyo Cruz and a bunch of those things. It really brought the house down. It suited its audience perfectly,

came along at just the right time, and did the right thing with the tools of its day. So, yes, I really, really like this. And I'm very happy to hear it again. It was a lovely throwback, listening to this again. Yeah, totally agreed. I think this is fantastic. You know, I've been excited to get to this basically from the beginning of the whole podcast.

Even when, you know, like, because even when I was like a snobby, a little emo boy listening exclusively to like MySpace bands with like floppy fringes and stuff, like, I remember hearing the first 15 seconds of this and thinking inside like, oh, this is, this is cool. This sounds really cool. Because, you know, the first few singles that Tiny Temper and Labyrinth did off this album and off Labyrinth's album, like Earthquake and Frisky, which is coming up in Bornsbruner. Love Frisky. A few of my fellow emo friends, we all kind of quietly enjoyed him and this song.

And along with this and gorillas and like dizzy rascal around at the moment, I actually kind of restarted my journey with having interest, you know, like in other genres and like keeping up with like modern examples of British rap that were in the charts and some that weren't in the charts. It took me a little while to get back into American rap. That's another story. But yeah, I was listening to like Tiny Temper and Cano and Labyrinth a bit, acts like that.

And kind of adjacent to the chip tune stuff that me and my friend were into, we also, you know, we would go on YouTube deep dives to find, like, the most disgusting dubstep drop of the year and all this stuff. And so all of this played quite nicely into, like, you know, budding enthusiasms that I had. had for this kind of genre. And then this landed, yeah, exactly the right time. That really dub heavy intro with like the sub-base acting like a siren, a call-out,

like an instant marker of what the song is, what the vibe is, that you're going to be taken somewhere. I remember around this time that Five Gum started running those adverts that were like, this is how it feels to chew Five Gum. And the beginning of Passout always made me think of one of those adverts where that massive subwaffe makes all those little silver balls, vibes, and flow and move about. You know, very, very super cool intro even now.

Instantly one of those things where it's like, oh yeah, this is great. You know, I remember this song really well. The main, onto the sort of like the main song itself, Mr. Temper's not the greatest technical lyricist, but he has a similar charm to like pre-Trump Kanye West, where his charisma and smarts an ability to spin a funny or a memorable one-liner carries him a fair way. Structurally, I've always appreciated that this has the first chorus done by Mr. temper with the, yeah, we bring the da-that, we bid that bit. But then you have that second chorus where they let it rain, let it fall away.

You know, you get the double assault there of two big hooks that anchor the whole thing. And it gives you an opportunity to feel cool and trendy while you're rapping along to Mr. Temper there, but also really elated and sort of free when Labyrinth's bit comes in. And just when you think, right, okay, come on, you've got me this far, but what have you got? they bring back that kind of reverb heavy dub influence again and that scar guitar just kind of chopping little notes in the background and then they launch into that d and b break and in the single version it's awesome but in the extended version i think it's slightly

better because it goes for a longer buildup with that slower sorry it goes for a longer build up with that kind of slower section and then into the d&B section and it's a bit more chopped and screwed and a bit more do do do do do do do and it goes a little bit jungle for a second and i remember a couple of years after this i was going to loads of 18th birthday parties at replay in stopport which doesn't exist anymore um and there were people who would wait for pass out to come on and then when this bit came through the d and b bit at the end they would like full-on attempt to skank on the uh on the dance floor and the DJ would always play that extended version which yeah is a bit more chopped up and funky and relies a bit more on break beats and

gets about half an inch away from being like, you know, sort of an almost full-on, sort of like jungle rave experience. And even then, you know, sweeping my fringe out of my hair, I really thought this was the shit, you know, in 2010, it was a big year for me growing up musically 2010, like accepting other genres into my life for the first time and also back into my life after leaving them behind for a couple of years

while I disappeared down YouTube rabbit holes and my space things and things like that. But I am going to make a close, claim here, or just ask a really big question, I don't know, but that second verse that Tiny Temper does that starts with the, they say, hello, they say, oh la, and they say, bon, that, that bit, I genuinely wonder, given how many people still laugh at lines from it, or we're quoting it all the time, or that many lines from it sort of become memes that have lived beyond the song itself, the fact that, obviously, Andy, your husband mentions lines to you from not the second

verse but the first verse and given that this was a genuine, bona fide, you know, UK hip-hop and grime number one in the charts for weeks, still love to this day, is that second verse the most iconic and well-known verse by a British rapper? Like, I'm pissed, I never got to fly on a Concord, been Southampton, but I've never been to Scunthorpe. Now I drive past the bus I used to run for,

which is a pretty cool flex, I think, and then at the end you get, if your son doesn't, I bet your daughter now. you know, fair play. Like, you know, this guy had quips and flexes. And given how big it got, how many lines are still embedded in everybody's memories. The only one I can think of is from the same time. She said by Plan B with the, no, I'm up in the call, pleading my case in the witness box. She's innocent.

I protected that one. I think that was very, very well known by a lot of people at the time. But that's pretty much all I've got. You could make a case for, like, Love You by Dizzy Rascal. Yeah, I was thinking something for Divided by Dizzy Rascal. Yeah, I was thinking something for a deal. I had some other candidates. Yeah, that first half of Dizzy's first album is full of pretty memorable.

Like the Tropicana line, for instance. Yeah, the first verse of bonkers, you know, they wake up every day is a daydream. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I had a think, you know, there's like P's and Q's by Kano, shut down by Skeptor, Vossi Bop, Stormzy. My Dizzy Rascal pick was maybe Fix Up looks sharp. Yes. And also a bit of a joke entry from a few years afterwards,

but I think everybody remembers two plus two is four minus one. That's a quick math. A good call. I wouldn't have thought of that. I mentioned you didn't you? These days a lot of people like the, my money don't jiggle, jiggle,

it folds by Louis Theroux. Yes. But yeah, I still think that people would remember the thing from Big Shack. The thing goes, blah. God, that was good.

And then that got turned into an actual song. But Vossi Bop of those. bot was the only number one out of that list that I've brought up so I do you know I don't know there must be others I'm forgetting that's the she said one that I had forgotten about but if not for technical quality then definitely for memorability and honest to God charm it could be way up there yeah definitely is up there yeah yeah I imagine Ed that before this week this month pass out had maybe passed you by so I'm curious what you're you know what what you're your memories, what your feelings are about this, because I don't know if you have memories of it exactly.

I don't believe I do. It certainly didn't feel like something I was well acquainted with, but very pleasant surprise. I'm just going to be straight pretty much what you said about it. I mean, it's that, you know, he's not the original lyrical miracle or anything, but the rhymes are good, they're memorable, they're funny, they're very much tie him back. You know, he's not trying to do like, oh, I'm an American gangster. That's not really what it's about, and it's all the better for that. And yeah, I mean, I confess,

I realize I've been listening to the video version, which is on the single. It's the first track on it, but it's not the radio edit. So keep me honest here, if there's stuff missing in the radio edit that I might be talking about. Because the version I was listening to

does have a couple of the breakdowns and things at the end. I'm like, oh, okay. Mixing it? keeping my interest, you know, keeping the momentum and the basic form and the basic hooks. But I appreciated that. And it kept my interest for like four and a half minutes,

which is more than you can say for like the last 20 to 30 90s singles that we did. But yeah, I really like this. I'll be honest, couldn't have named you a single song by Tiny Temper or by Labyrinth. These are just the kind of artists who, to be frank, I would mainly be exposed to seeing them looking bemused on something like shooting stars

at the time. Do you know what I mean? Just imagine it's sitting there just with a light up sign that just said temper at the front and being shouted at by, you know, Vic Reeves with a duck on his head or something. But yeah, that's about the extent of it.

Is it Mr. Brinth, who does the vocode a bit? Yeah, the kind of Let it fall away That bit, yeah Labyrinth is more of a singer than a rapper Why do we keep saying Mr, this and Mr. that? I feel like I'm in a court

I don't know I'm up in court And I'm pleading my case Oh, bringing it home there But yeah I just like calling him Labrinth But

Lebrinth My name is Labrins that's my one demerit to this because I do really like this it's that the Lubrinth bit is a bit muddy compared to the rest it's sort of it's

it's like it's smudged over like they hadn't quite resolved it into a full hook it's not good enough to be a chord and it is just too murky and I'm not even sure if it needs to be there there is enough shit going on elsewhere

that I don't even know but it's like it just needs a little more definition It feels like it's coming from very far away, isn't it? I think it's supposed to create space, but it does feel like it's coming from a very far distance away, that far. It is a shame because it does feel like the rest of the song's so packed with incident, that that just feels like, if it's like, oh, that feels a little bit placeholdery to me. But if that's it, I mean, that's my only criticism.

I mean, yeah, I really like this, and I'm very pleased to have been introduced to it, and to Mr. Temper, and even to Mr. Brinth. So thank you very much, gentlemen. Well, we're on names for these two. My girlfriend at the time, her dad always had an amazing way of winding her up. And it was like, whoever she had posters of on her bedroom wall, or whenever she mentioned someone that, like, whenever someone came on the radio or something like that,

he would make up fake names and things like that. And she would go, Dad, Dad, for God sake. And so his one for Tiny Temper, she kept calling him Tiny Tim. it's a very different musical proposition Yeah And whenever passout came on the radio in the kitchen Or in the car or something like that And he'd go, oh, is that that Tiny Tim again?

She'd be like, Dad, for God's sake. Oh God, I can imagine someone like Dizzy Rascal doing an honest to God mash up with Tiny Tim With the, I'm so happy, happy go lucky me And then Dizzy Rassel shook and like, Seriously, that could have sold a million in 2010 Probably. Okay, I said the only.

Okay, I said the only demerit. There is one more possible one, and I need your help with this. This is going to push it over the edge, possibly. Rhyming bonjour with Concord. Oh, yeah. Is that bold? Is it shite, or is it both?

Yes, it's both. I think it's an acceptable loose rhyme. Oh, it's very loose. It's coming off, mate. I've heard worse. I definitely heard worse. I think it's sufficiently cheeky and imaginative. I think I might give it a pass, and I think this is just getting nudged into the vault to spoil a little bit.

But anyway, how far are we off pit bull rhyming Kodak with Kodak? That's next year. Yeah, next year. So, yeah, there we go. So, okay, the third song this week. It's this. Okay, this is Telephone by Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Released as the second single from her third EP titled The Fame Monster.

Telephone is Lady Gaga's 10th single to chart in the UK and her fourth to reach number one and it's not the last time we'll be coming to Ms. Gargar during our 2010's coverage. This is also the fifth UK number one for Beyonce. Telephone first entered the UK charts at number 30. Reaching number one during its 17th week, it stayed at number one for two weeks. In its first week atop the charts, it sold. copies beating competition from Hot by Inner. And in week two it sold 58,000 copies beating competition from Bedrock by Young Money and Lloyd. After two weeks at the top,

telephone dropped one place to number two. It stayed inside the top 100 for 52 weeks. The single is currently officially certified three times platinum as well. As of 2026, Ed, you could go first on this Gar-Gar Queen Bee number. I think that's safest. Disclaimer. The following commentary is clearly ill-informed. As a consequence, I have agreed to inhale helium to detract credibility from my statements. She's kind of busy.

She's kind of busy. Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut. I'll say this. It is abundantly clear to me, and I'm not just saying this to fend off any criticism, that Lady Gaga is fabulously talented. She's a great singer. She knows exactly what she's doing with songwriting. And she is hugely influential. I can very much hear the impact she had on modern hyperpop musicians, on that whole sort of aloof, arty, you know, trash art pop dichotomy. thing that I think really was the hyperpop movement ran with. Yeah, I can see why she's such a big deal from that standpoint.

Also, bad romance, brilliant track. Classic pop track, not going to argue with that. However, I've never really managed to get into her stuff in general, really. It's a strange one because it is, you know, as I say, she knows exactly what she's doing. It's no mystery why these songs are hit. Full of hooks. It's actually quite dynamic. I love the bit with Beyonce where it dips out again.

It's, you know, just again, just enough variation to keep it going. But it feels to me, and I may be very wrong here, and I have a limited, I've limited experience with her, I'll admit. But from what I've heard and seen of her, it feels a bit like she is wanting to have her cake and eat it too in terms of, she just want to say, oh, I'm making pot, but it's okay, because it's kind of. kind of a commentary.

You know, there's a sense almost of looking down on pop and looking down on the people that consume it while she makes it, which is something I never got from her progeny, you know, the people who came through PC music, which is a very clear, satirical,

self-aware post-modern edge, but there's real, that bizarrely feels like a bit of, a bit more passion and vibe to it. This in places borders on, right, what do people remember? They remember repetitive stuff.

They remember nursery rhymes. So one of the hooks in this song is eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,

eh, which actually is the same melody as the verse. It's just done again, just to really rub it in. Like, well, you don't need the lyrics. You just need to go,

eh, which you're already done with poker face. That was pretty much the, but, uh, uh, uh, a face,

but uh, uh, uh, so if you like, if you love that shit, you'll, you'll be fucking down, down,

a clown with this. I'll tell you, dog. But, I mean, do bear in mind, as you listen to this, I am wrong. Time will prove me wrong. So don't you worry about that. I'm not going to fire up a revolution with this. But, um, yeah, I, and apart of it's like, with all of the lock at me going on with my meat suit and dressing like this, it's like, it seems like she's making a statement and it's like, oh, an ironising of celebrity and things, but what exactly was it? It felt a bit like, it felt a bit like a facade to me and not in a kind of, this, this is a commentary on the, on the celebrity machine, it's more like, I'm bigger than what I do. I'm more clever than what I do. And if I act aloof and weird, I might, for some reason, disconnect myself from some

something that I really shouldn't be ashamed of. But I am, I'm aware, being tempered by the unfortunate critical debate surrounding her at the time. I remember being, even at the time, mildly repulsed by seeing the first ebbs of something coming on to rate your music, which unfortunately was a frequenter of the forums back in 2010, where people were saying like, oh, no, it's all right, Lady Garga, it's all right. It is pop, yeah, but it's ironic, though, so it's all right. And I'm like, it's like, oh, that's a bit pathetic, isn't it? So you don't like pop because it's not ironic. It has to be ashamed of itself in order for you to like it. And in some ways, I got that impression from her at the time. Now, subsequent years, you'll probably correct me and say, my God,

she's moved so far beyond that. It's just not, that's just not what she does anymore. Totally ridiculous. And anyway, at the time, I think I'm misreading. it to some degree. But I guess through all of this waffle, I'm trying to say that I find it a bit surface level and irritating, more than I do, catchy and subversive. And that is probably more of a subjective take that it is an objective appraisal. One thing I will say, Andy, maybe you can qualify this a little bit better or maybe correct me on it, but I feel like you would be very, very interested but also very very annoyed by the entire art pop album cycle that she did in 2013 because that was like that all that you have just said art pop was that taken to a massive extreme

to the point where there is a song track seven on that art pop album which is called do what you want which i think is a really good song is the consensus slash wisdom around that song Andy that she deliberately featured R Kelly on it because everybody kind of knew what he was and she did it as some kind of sick joke. She's spoken about her herself and she said she deliberately chose

R Kelly because she hated herself at the time and wanted to make herself feel worthless on the song. So she chose a known rapist. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. That's where Art Pop went and to be fair, comparatively art pop, it didn't bomb. It produced some good singles but there

were questions at the time. I remember all the think pieces about songs like applause and G-U-Y and Venus and aura and things like that where people were, and sex streams and things like that where people were kind of writing like, this isn't, this hasn't been as big as we expected it to be.

It's all gone a bit clever, clever. And then she was accused of like manipulating YouTube figures to like get higher chart positions for the song Dope where the music video for Dope played as an advert on YouTube and it counted it as a stream and things like that and she was accused of doing things

like that and so but it all went very very very post post post post post modern with art pop and I think it rub people up the wrong way because then there was a three year gap between her next album which was just called Joanne and it was her barely any makeup

with a cowboy hat and it was all kind of stripped back pop rock country stuff about her late grandmother or late ante or something and then she went further into the rock side where the star is born and then she kind of pivoted back to things like chromatica which in my opinion things like chromatica and mayhem and harlequin that she's done since feel maybe aren't as memorable front to back but feel a little more sincere and a little more leaning into instead of trying to lean out of pop if you

know what i mean i as i say i've got to say some of the recent stuff by her that i've heard um for instance that you and Jacob played me and I'm like oh no I like this I do I do dig this it's just I think I found the aesthetic of this grating and it is not because of any lack of ability and I think every ounce of her intention is here she know exactly what to do how to do it and I think she is an incredibly talented woman and her success is of absolutely it's no mystery to me whatsoever. And I do admire what she does greatly. But I just, I,

this felt like a little bit of a step too far for me in many ways at the time. And I do feel like I've embraced a lot of her progeny more than I've embraced her music, oddly enough, if you get my drift. Yeah. But I do, as I say, I actually like this song, believe it or not, but I came in expecting such kind of. of like, how dare you not put this in the bloody vault that I was like, right, no, please, no, listen, hear me out, but I maybe over-egged it a bit. It's a good song. It's a very well-made song. It's a very well-performed song by someone who knows how to definitely knows how to craft a fucking chart hit. So there you go. Well, for me, I do think this is great. I think, you know,

Gar-Gar at this point, she was still producing singles that felt like massive events and the fact that she was coming back with new material when it felt like the initial wave wasn't even fully over yet shows, you know, the level that she was kind of, you know, she was operating on like, she was like a factory at this point. She was churning out these major hits, you know, we're not even a year on from just dance in the UK, and she's teaming up with Beyonce, who's like on her way at this moment to becoming the most recognizable pop star on planet Earth and may already be there by that point. The music video was like this nine-minute short film and Gar-Gas in a big prison set and all this.

stuff and with hindsight i think my opinion on the song has been affected by the whole kind of like backstory that came out about it later where it turned out gargar wrote this for brittany spears but was turned down it was supposed to be on circus and that it became really difficult to bring to fruition to the point where garga has been honest and just said she doesn't even really like the song anymore and the song itself seemed to be inspired by her being unable to have fun because of the life that she was thrust into quite suddenly around sort of like the turn of 2017 2008. And it's drawn me more towards it over the years a bit, actually, because as much as this presents itself as like a bit of a party anthem, and it is to a, you know, a fairly, you know, a fairly

solid degree, it feels more like a manic episode to me these days. Lyrically, obviously, it's reframed as a bit of a metaphor where the boyfriend who keeps ringing stands in for the industry and the club stands in for sanity, I think. And it turns into a song that's like, look, please stop trying to text me and call me. I'm out. I'm busy. I've seen a few people saying that, oh, you know, the phone is deliberately chosen to represent the increasing presence of technology in our lives. And I've seen people saying that the mention of the telephone

symbolizes the influence of technology in modern relationships and that heterosexuality as a concept is becoming outdated and things like that. And it's like, what? Okay, this is all going a bit far. But I'm just going to take Gar-Gar at her word, that it was initially about her feeling a bit stressed and then turned it into

a song about a kind of whiny boyfriend that won't leave her alone. But one thing I will say is that if I'm allowed to have a bit of a reach for a second is that this is maybe one of the last major pop hits to view the mobile phone as something you can leave at home or ignore. You know, should have left my phone at home, Beyonce says, from that era when we still had that choice from just before smartphone addiction. And you do still get this creeping sense that things like notifications and constant phone calls and this feeling of always, having to be available. It's just kind of creeping over the horizon with it. It's interesting that the

bit of technology we're discussing here is still referred to as a telephone, which feels like a word that's from a different era. Now, no one says telephone anymore. They're not even advertised to telephones, they're smartphones, which, you know, and it's kind of funny that it came around the same time as video phone, which was the Beyonce song with Lady Gaga on it, because that felt more like of a look into the future because the whole thing is like watch me on your video phone sort of thing, you know, and it's mentioning that

that bit of technology is progressing. That's one level of interest I have. The other one is more to do with the song itself, which does, I think, a really good job of building outwards from the beginning. It takes a long time for this to repeat something in terms of sections. It definitely has very

repetitive sections, but it goes, you know, A, B, C, D. You know, it reminds me a little bit of the fear by Lily Allen in the way that it starts with like a solo vocal and a string instrument being plucked to sing a song of sadness kind of thing and then the synth pop snaps in and it never looks back from there and you get like buzzing electro clash and you get 2010's dance floor aesthetics and really kind of soaring a memorable chorus then you get like buy one get one free hooks with like the stop telephone in me and then you get calling my phone because there's no one home and you're not going to reach my telephone you know all that

stuff. We get a change of pace with Beyonce who struts in marvelously to Garga's like weird and wonderful world with attitude and confidence and decent enough chemistry, I think. And the whole song shifts energy goes into a half time section. And all of that is really exciting. And I'm sort of, you know, and then the chorus comes back and it's like, well, you know, where is this going to go next? And then just for the last minute or so, you can start to feel the hard time, I think, that Garga alluded to with regards to like bringing this to fruition and bringing it to a conclusion because it kind of recycles a couple of ideas

to slightly diminish in returns and it finds a way to sort of like nestle its way back to the harp by kind of retreating in on itself but that's not a major issue I still think this bangs it's a you know divorced of any context I think you know

it's a really fun and solid pop hit and yeah I don't really have any major problem with it with about 16 years of hindsight site, Andy. This is one of those songs that are just sort of stand in awe of a lot, to be honest. First of all, I was really thinking while you were talking about songs that don't see mobile phones as the norm after this.

The only one I could come up with, and I don't know if it counts, is in two years' time, Maroon 5 will be at a pay phone. Yes. Oh shit. It counts. Yeah. That's the only one I can think of. But even then, that whole thing is sort of like them appealing to sort of like a retro idea.

Because it's like, you know, I think the idea is, you know, he's at a pay phone because he wants to go back, not only to work, because when their relationship was good or, you know, when you still have to use pay phones or something. But yeah, I'm going to go away and think about that as well. Or we'll just pay really, really close attention as we go along about phones. Well, I mean, I'll kick off with what Ed said about how she seems to sort of maybe place herself kind of above it all and sort of be looking down on pop. I do think if I had one criticism of Gaga from this time and definitely in born this way an art pop era and I'm loath to kind of criticise it for anything at that time really but if there was one flaw it's that she

did sort of start believing her own hype I think and she came to see herself as like sort of like the person on top of pop music and that everything was a work of art that she was putting out there hence art pop which reached a natural peak there where that album was just a big hype album really and had some good songs on it but I do think creatively and in terms of how relatable it actually is as music I think it's her weakest era art pop I think that will be out of step with most of the fandom the fandom tend to

love art pop because that was her at a most wild and elusive and strange but to me I think she sometimes leans too far into that and forgets to kind of keep it real and I don't particularly love that and I think as she's gone on through time that's lessons and I think what it is is that with telephone as an example of this I don't think she's looking down on anything

I don't think she's kind of winking at pop music at all I think it's just so easy for her she makes it look so easy that it does almost come across as arrogance and above it all because she can make an absolute killer pop song just like that and makes it sound so so simple

in the same way that the likes of the Beals and Ava could do. She can just put an absolute slam dunk out there without breaking a sweat. And so that became boring for her. And she started doing stranger stuff like what was on art pop and Joanne, which obviously had less of a poppy sound. And she's loosened up with that now. She's not as in her head anymore. And I can really, really recommend Mayhem, her album from last year where she seems to have let herself free to some extent. And she's back to just like straight down the line, extremely good pop songs that, you know, there's still an album concept of like monsters and the supernatural and it's still got that gar-gar kind of oddness to it. But she's just having more fun.

And she's like reminded us all of she knew us how to write a bloody good pop song and there's so many of them on Mayhem. And I think that's where she is here. I think she has sort of got one eye on like, oh, we should evolve pop music to its next stage, which I don't like. But I think mainly here, this is her at a queen of pop peak, really, because she does make. it looks so easy. I think the thing with this is that there is not one second that is wasted, not one moment where this fails to grab me in any way at all. The amount of stuff they pack into, what is the shortest song on the fame monster, by the way, this, the amount of stuff they managed to pack into it is insane. You've got that do, do, do do do do intro at the start,

which is quite catchy in its home rate, and then the sort of mock phone called the Hello, Hello, baby, which is sort of coming back to that voicemail thing, you've mentioned a few times before, Rob, that she knows that that's sort of a thing. So she's sort of making fun of that with the hello, hello baby. And that verse melody is so immediately catchy. It's so sing-song, so easy to sing along too. And then you've got the chorus, of course. And then you've got two different post-corruses with the, um, can't live you want, but there's no one, no money, not going to reach my telephone, which everybody at the time loved learning the words to that and learning, you know, that off by heart, which didn't take very long.

and Beyonce then comes in and Beyonce is only in the song for about 20 seconds. She has those four lines and then she briefly comes home, briefly comes back in to the, sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station, but that's it. She's only in about 20 seconds of the song and again, they make absolute best use of her. That that's one of the most memorable bits of the song, especially the should have left my phone at home because this is a disaster. Like Beyonce absolutely nails those few lines. They've got the best possible take out of her.

And then they only repeat sort of the most memorable bits from the first run-through of the verse Corus Bridge. They do the slowdown. Not there, I don't like you, I'm just at a party, which is a nice little change of pace. And then they repeat the most catchy bits, and then we go out with their, my telephone, my, my telephone, a whole new bit, which is also really catchy, and play that little string riff one more time at the end. All in three and a half minutes. There's so, so much in this.

And it's textured with that layer of something really relatable, which is, leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm having fun. I think particularly for young women, that's really relatable, where you've probably got these skeevy men who are quite often like, what you're doing, who you're with?

And, you know, I'm out with my girls, I'm having fun. She's done quite a few songs about that topic that are not like telephone, but she's done quite a few things of like, just leave me alone. I'm in my own space enjoying the moment right now. I want to be with my girlfriends. I don't want to be with my boyfriend right now.

And I know that there's also the subtext of, you know, hair management onto her and not letting her just, you know, have a normal life. But it's got a very relatable theme that fits right in alongside something like single ladies. So I think especially young women out there really kind of related to this song. And yeah, it's just, I think it's pop perfection. I don't think there's a single thing that I would point to in like, yeah, maybe wouldn't do that or maybe make that a bit longer or maybe trim that bit. I think it's like just literally perfect.

a pop song, to be honest. It's not actually my favorite Garga song. It's not, it's not even in my top five, really, but I sort of stand back in admiration of it really of like, whoa, she had something here. She is cooking with gas on this one. And I remember when the fame monster came out, it came out alongside bad romance at the end of 2009, and me and my sister got it for Christmas. And I say, we got it for Christmas. She got it for Christmas, and I quickly stole it off her and put it on my iPod without her knowing, because I was so excited. But there was a lot of lot of talk straight away about what the next single was going to be. Well, there wasn't that much talk because everyone, like every Gaga fan, before it came out as a single, was already obsessed with

telephone. Everyone was like, oh, this, this is the highlight, this, this is pretty amazing, this one. And so it was no surprise at all when we got this big hype video with Beyonce and the whole 10 minute long thing and the quite big production. Because I think hair management and Gaga herself could have confidently already known that this was going to be a mega hit because of how beloved it had already become in the fandom before it was even released as a single. It was just a special time, really, to be a fan of Gaga. And I'm still an absolute huge fan of her today. But I think it's fair to say that this and bad romance, this period, sort of this six-month

time at the sort of start of 2010, is her peak of popularity, her peak of having a stranglehold on pop music. And certainly in terms of how easily she can just absolutely smash something to the top the charts, this is it really. It doesn't get any better than this. So I stand in admiration of it more than I love it. A bit like Vogue by Madonna. I think I said similar things last year.

But this is kind of remarkable, and it's an easy 10 out of 10 for me. Yeah, amazing stuff. I think that was so eloquently put and broken down that you have made me you know, yeah, double down on the fact that I really do admire it as a piece

of writing. Oddly, on certainly kind of on almost motivic terms, I think it's very, very clever in the terms of the way it develops things through the song. I think it's quite advanced in that regard. It's also helped me isolate, I think, why I don't like it is that I find the actual rhythmic ingredients used to create these different elements and variations to be quite reductive and irritating to begin with. I can very much admire the form of the song. I know that sounds very wishy-washy and aloof, but I guess I do take a little bit of issue

with a reduction of pop hooks to abrasion from time to time. It just hits me the wrong way. Now, it's this one. Okay, this ain't a love song by Scouting for Girls. Released as the lead single from the band's second studio album titled Everybody Wants to Be on TV. This Ain't a Love Song is scouting for girls' sixth single to chart in the UK and their first to reach number one. However, as of 2026 it is their last. This Ain't a Love song went straight in at number one as a brand new entry.

It stayed at number one for two weeks. In its first week atop the charts, it sold 72,000 copies beating competition from, She Said by Plan B, History Makers by Delirious and Oh My God by Usher and Will I Am. And in week two, it sold 52,000 copies beating competition from Carry Out by Timberland and Justin Timberlake. After two weeks at the top, This Ain't a Love Song, dropped one place to number two. It stayed inside the top 100 for 25 weeks. The single is currently officially certified platinum in the UK. As of 2026, Ed, you can kick us off with this thing.

I say, this ain't a love song. I'll change out love for a different word. But, yeah. Oh, this won't take long, Rob, you're right. Okay. Step one. Take Keen, Boyzone, the calling and the feeling, and sort of smush them all together

until it is a textuous, thin, grey slurry. Step two, question mark, question mark, question mark. Step three, fuck off. This is, this is cardboard, isn't it, really? It's like I hear so many derivations here of specific bands and specific songs. It does start exactly like a fucking keen song. It's remarkable. Yet it has so little character.

You know, it makes so much noise, but it's fucking empty. Yeah. Um, not surprised. I kind of missed these guys at the time, although I gather that they did other stuff that wasn't quite this shite. That's it. That's my take. Yeah. Andy, do you have much more? Not a whole lot more. I'm just sort of baffled that we as a nation indulged all this, to be honest, because even at the time, I wasn't in the loop. I went to a concert in August 2010 called Radio City Live, which was one of those. everyone does two, three songs. It's a big sort of publicity event for a lot of different artists who were marketing things at the time.

And it's only about 20, 25 quid and you get to see like 10 different artists. And the headline, bear in mind, right, there were some big names there. There was the wanted who were only just starting, to be fair. It was Alexandra Burke, the Saturdays,

endubs, Tinchie Strider, Professor Green, the script, and a few others, Dane Bowers, for some reason. and a few others have forgotten but the headline the last one of the night was Scouting for Girls

and I thought at the time I was like really? Like there's been a lot sort of bigger names than that and people were going crazy for them and I just didn't really get it because I'd already heard everything they had to offer when I heard their first single she's so lovely

because all the other songs off that first album were just the same again they were just and this one at least doesn't do the durut-dut-d-d-d-d-d-thin. Well, it doesn't bear, but at least it doesn't really do that. But it's still just the same kind of vaguely moaning thing.

And if indie music, if the indie wave of the noughties was not already dead, then scouting for girls, I have to say, deal the final cut that was, you know, the last of a thousand cuts, really. Because I think we've already said this, you know, that a combination of sex on fire and human by the killers and a few other things

were what really killed the indie movement dead but Scouting for Girls, that type of sound I think when you're putting something of this low quality forward as like the peak of the genre nah, that's not going to keep going for much longer it's the same as what happened to disco you know, it's the same as what happened to a lot of genres really is that if you're sort of already old news

and then this kind of quality comes in no and I think you can sort of lay that at their door to be honest, not just them, not just them But Scatman for Girls, I think, are really a good example of what happened at the very back end of indie music that made it a bit of a laugh in stock. And, like, it's just music for sort of silly people, really. I don't like to be mean about artists because I feel like everyone's trying their best. Everyone's putting out what they hope to be some of their best work, with a few exceptions. But I find it hard not to be mean with Scouting for Girls and particularly that singer whose name I haven't bothered to look up, I'm afraid.

Roy Stride. The lack of value and the lack of value. and the lack of ability is just so glaring that I can't not be mean about it. I've never heard a vocalist in my life with such limited range. It's incredible. He can basically

only do his speaking voice. I've never heard him go outside of about four or five different semi-tones. It's really not an exaggeration. He has no range. It's like someone's holding onto his throat and it's got an advice. He can only sort of got like like that sort of range.

That's all he's go and that tonality is the odie tonality he's got he um he went on live lounge not him the whole band went on live lounge and did a cover of the glee version of don't stop believing uh in 2010 because i had the live watch 2010 album i used to really love that there was a fantastic cover of pass out on there by the way by plan b and there was some really really good other covers it was a great live lounge album but their cover of don't stop believing is one of the worst covers i've ever heard in my life mainly because it's this massive classic rock song even the glee version is still quite big you know for what it's doing.

And his vocals just cannot handle it. And he's like, just a small town girl. And he has to come down. And he has like, living in an only world. And like, that's all he can do. He has no range beyond that.

And I think when you give him, like, a bit more of a balladie song that's got some strings and stuff like this, it becomes glarily obvious that there's nowhere he can go. He hasn't got a zero to 60. All he's got is a constant 20. And it's a big problem for a band

when your vocalist can't carry anything. So yeah, it's creatively bankrupt. It's a boring song. It represents the failure of a genre and a vocalist who I think was lucky to have any success at all, quite frankly. My least favourite song this week for this, from the moment it starts, I'm thinking back to 2010, whenever this came on the radio. And for about three seconds, I wondered if it was somewhere only we know. And then after four seconds, I'd realize it was this and just switch over to five live.

instead. Look, the thing is, all right, Skying for Girls, they were sort of due, were number one, I think. So many of their songs were huge in that sort of mid to late 2000s era off the first album. And like, as annoying as I find them all these days, she's so lovely's all right and heartbeat and Elvis ain't dead. You know, they kind of bridge that gap between like major label radio stuff and like indie label stuff that was making it through. they kind of emerged in that kind of post-artic monkey's wave of like interesting British bands who were getting a bit of a fan base online despite not being signed up and they ended up on a big label, their songs ended up on TV shows and in films and obviously there are comments

underneath the YouTube video for She's So Lovely and it's like if you listen to this and don't picture a 13 year old girl running in a giant olive costume then what are you doing? And that's obviously the one of the opening scenes from Angus songs in Perth if it's snogging, which was a big deal to teenage girls at the time. And so, you know, they would do something like this. You know, I think in terms of what space they took up on the radio, they kind of nudged the feeling out of the way, which is a shame because the feeling were a much better band.

With this lot, at the time, they kind of spoke to the kind of hopeless romantic 13-slash-14-year-old that I was. but by 2010, I wasn't so much of a hopeless, romantic, you know, and I was into different stuff, and I was already a bit tired of them. And nowadays, I can only really stand, she's so lovely, lovely, I should say. If that was a one-hit wonder, it really has all the makers of a one-hit wonder, and if it had been, no problem with that at all. It's just they were not meant to last.

That one song has something to it that's quite catchy, and then they shouldn't have stuck around. Yeah, the rest of their stuff, it does. get under my skin and not in a not in a good way and a lot of the hopeless romantic stuff in their music now feels really fake and insincere to me now there's just this irritating like all shucks energy to everything that they do and I think that they whether they willingly did this or not I think they perpetuated this idea that by looking all shy and looking like a beat dog like that's how girls come to you that girls aren't attracted to charisma and men actually like smiling for once

you know, girls are actually attracted to this weird mix of like reluctance to show your feelings and like persistently messaging them instead of actually talking to them. Like that immaturity set me back years and I hate listening to them now because it reminds me of the deficiencies that I took on as like learned behaviors. You know, and I think ultimately I'm not going to call them in cell music. That's not fair. It's not a brush I want to tar them with. But it is a little bit like if you take on those kinds of things, that's what.

when you start to blame other people. It's like, oh, but I'm so nice. Why won't they come and talk to me? It's like, sometimes you've got to just make things happen. You know, don't be scared of rejection. Don't be scared of women, that sort of thing. But not only that, like, have either of you seen much of the US remake of The Office? No, not really. I watched it all a few years ago. It's a good show. Like, I don't really understand the mad devotion to it, but it does what it does. It's good at it. And anyway, in the... first two or three seasons of the show. The big kind of like will they won't they storyline is between Jim

who is played by John Krasinski and Pam who is played by Jenna Fisher. They are the US counterparts of Tim and Dawn, Martin Freeman and Lucy Davis's characters and obviously bless her Lucy Davis has again this all date it obviously this week she's come out and said that she is terminally unwell with cancer bless her yeah 53 years old

Tim and Dawn's storyline absolutely love Tim and Dawn's storyline when they're not together and then obviously everything that happens with them but at the start of the US office obviously it was going to run for a lot longer with a lot more episodes and that sort of thing

and at the start of the show Pam has this boyfriend called Roy who's not a bad person but it's clearly just not suited for her and maybe doesn't treat her like she deserves to be treated and we're supposed to sympathize with Jim because obviously Jim and Pam have this kind of will they won't they it's very Ross and Rachel you know that sort of thing

and across basically the whole show Jim's like signature thing as a character is that he looks into the camera you know during like an awkward or funny moment he might you know he looks down the lens as if to do a get a load of this guy kind of look down the camera and in the first two seasons or three seasons whenever Roy does something mean to Pam or if Pam gets let down or if Pam's upset or, you know, something. Jim will do his look into the

camera, but with this added energy of like, oh, God, I'm just such a good guy. Like, if only Pam would notice me, you guys love me, right? The audience at home, why doesn't Pam feel the same way? And it leans into this philosophy that I think does eventually, yeah, it does turn boys against women. Like this, oh, God, I'm so nice and quiet and romantic on the inside. Why do girls never notice me stupid girls. They're too interested in shallow things. Not me. Not this deep intellectual 14 year old. You know, like that's who they really should be interested in. It's them. They're the ones with the frivolous distractions when they're missing a real man. You know, that sort of thing. And if I could just grab my 13 year old self, I'd just say like, look, the reasons that girls

never notice you romantically is because you're not doing anything to get them to notice. also start wearing deodorant, you fucking idiot. And that's how I feel about scouting for girls. I just want to grab them and be like, they are Jim's look into the camera with this added annoying ingredient of using like half swear words sometimes as well. Like the old, oh, those,

I'm still remembering those Facebook statuses from 2010. I'm a little bit washed without you, and I'm a pretty big message side. And it always used to remember. remind me of the song that they did, it was heartbeat, where it was like, she's always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the ass, and it's like, right, I get that you're trying to make radio producers sweat, but you don't have to be so knowing an arch about it. You don't have to be so cute about it. And my abiding image of them as a band, and this song does nothing to get that image out of my mind,

is Roy Stride's massive tongue flapping about his mouth. And you can hear it flapping about on this song. They say the love song. This is, boy. And she's so lovely does the same thing. And in the video for she's so lovely,

they have the camera right up in his face when he's going, I think that you are lovely. And his tongue is huge. Absolutely huge. And yeah, fuck it. hole. They just, they make me feel really icky. They really make me feel icky scouting for girls these days and I used to get annoyed with them years ago for doing the same thing in all of their songs, which was that fucking piano stab

that they used to do it in every song, the do do do do do do you know like the rockabilly sort of thing and it's like oh mate you're not doing what you think you're doing oh look at me I'm playing piano standing up oh what's he gonna do next? And it's like we did this 70 years ago. Please stop. As a pianist myself, it always really comes across to me as like, you've got one move. Like, that's all you do on a piano, and it's probably been born out of, oh, wait, let me find the next chord, and then there's the next cause, you know, like you do when you learn, and it really comes across to me like that.

And it's, yeah, it's, yeah. Now, now you're forgetting the second move that they do, which is when they kick their leg up and it comes out at the side of the piano. Woo! You're right, I am forgetting. How could I? What woman could resist? So, Ed, Jason Derulo, sorry, Jason Derulo, Tiny Temper, Lady Gaga, scouting for girls, how are he feeling?

Well, I know what I'm naming my new racehorse, though. Roy Stride's massive tongue. But yeah, Jason Derulo didn't expect to be vaulted, and he wasn't. He didn't expect to be pie-holed either, and he isn't. Well done, Jason. another cracker. Tiny temper was a big surprise. I originally was on the fence about it and I had a whole hilarious joke here.

No, I'm actually going to put that one in the vault because, yeah, I really like it actually. I think it's a really good track. Nice surprise. Lady Gaga, oh, sorry, Lady Gaga. We'd love to let you into the vault, but I'm a cunt. Bad luck

And yeah It's less scouting for girls Than mournfully excavating an abandoned Brownfield site For the bodies of missing kids It's the pits Enjoy the pie hole Andy

In my head Pass out, telephone And this ain't a love song Oh I found a way to torture you Who sings in my head Jason Do you Oh, do me a favor

Could you do it a few keys up? Just a droo! Okay. Now can you do it in your lowest possible key? Jussaudsardru. We'll never get bored of this. Anyway, it's certainly not in my head, but it's not in the pie hole or the vault.

Either, it's exactly where it started. It stays where it is. As for my favorite racehorse, Tiny and the Brinth, that is going into the vault. Pass out, it's definitely going into the vault. It's tiny and the brinth, brinth, brinth, brinth, brinth, brinth, brinth. Yeah, that's definitely going into the vault.

An easy vault in that one. Sorry, I've just got to quickly take a phone call. Hello, hello, Gaga, it's your super fan, Andy. I am here to tell you that you're in the vault, eh. What, what did you say you're a super fan of me? Sorry, I am podcasting, Gaga. I'm kind of busy. That stops phoning me.

Anyway, yes, I'm putting Garga in the vault Of course I am, duh And as for scouting for girls, well, they'll be scouting for any way out of the massive pieholder They've dug themselves into. You're right, this ain't a love song. This is goodbye, scouting for girls. Fuck off.

As for me, in my head, that's going nowhere. Pass out and telephone, they're both fault material for me. Pass out further into the vault, I think, than telephone. and then this ain't a love song. Sorry, mate. Piehole, it is. Next week, hopefully, it will be a little bit more interesting than scouting for girls.

Although, let's see, but we'll see. So, yeah, thank you, Ed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Andy. Thank you, Rob. And we'll see you next time. Bye-bye now.

Bye. It's 21.