Hollywood Handbook - A Country Divided (with Ben Rodgers and Brett Morris)

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

A Country Divided (with Ben Rodgers and Brett Morris)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So at this point, I'm getting obviously increasingly upset. Yeah. Because I, it's, you know, my day had started out rather simple. Like all I wanted to do was get to the kitchen and get a glass of milk. But every time I move literally two steps towards my door, the tickle monster is grabbing, tickling, assaulting, pushing me back from the door. And it's been going on for, to be you know to be honest in real time it was probably only a couple of minutes it felt like a fucking eternity yeah and i'm getting and i'm getting

pissed and i'm it's hard to communicate because i also am laughing shrieking with sure yeah during a lot of it and sometimes you know saying stop but also sort of pulling the tickle monster's hands towards me okay and and i i get how that's confusing but i am saying stop and i am saying i want my milky okay you know i want my milky yeah talk to me about the tickle monster like what like like i know that it like tickles you yeah but does it like do other stuff like what's it doing there it says i'm gonna get you it says raw i'm gonna get you you know so i have some warning i'm never completely blindsided and it'll often sort of like brandish its fiendish tickling instruments in front of me sort of like wiggling them about to kind of say like this is what's going to get you this is all still on like the tickling thing but if it's like in your house all the time does it like do other stuff does it have like other well this is well this this you know this will blow your mind yeah it's

actually also the it's actually also who i need to pour me my milkies okay like that's like that's what this is this is starting to like yeah this is starting to like come together a little bit you know i mean it's not just like i'm like because it's not always the tickle monster right it's not it's not always so it's also like at some point it's gonna help me put my shoes on it's gonna you know it's gonna pour my milkies it's gonna make me jam with toast so so i i am reliant on it in a way that i don't want to that's how i say it okay i am reliant on it and so i don't want to like fully like kick the fucking tickle monster's ass you know which by the way you could i'm a very strong boy i am a very sorry to butt in man i just gotta say i'm sorry to butt in but i i gotta say like you are a strong guy but you're making the right choice because i have

i've beaten a tickle monster and it sucked yeah you did you i did well talk about that talk about that bang bang roger man's here yeah so i beat the living hell out of a Tickle Monster once. It got me pretty good, and through the tears and laughter, I was able to get a couple licks in and get the upper hand, and I beat the Tickle Monster to a bloody pulp. And I reveled in it for about 0.5 seconds. Sure. Because guess why?

I wanted my Milkies, and I wasn't able to get them i was in a similar situation and i've never gotten them since yeah yeah and why do you think i'm like this that's exactly what i was afraid of people are always like what's up his fucking ass that's it people talk about your attitude a little bit and they'll haven't gotten the milkies ever since no never and i never will still on still unfolding the trauma of beating the tickle monster to a bloody pulp and going milky free for what must be you know a couple decades now yeah i want to welcome everyone to the show hollywood handbook it is hollywood that is what we're doing today people say oh bang raj man is here engineer bread is here

are we continuing to just plug away at this threadbare premise of cowboy tv no we're not i want to get that out of the way at the very beginning of this episode i am so happy to hear that the two of you have really been uh like evolving and you're thinking about cowboy tv as a project and can i can i can i interject in it because i don't want this to be framed as and i think you'll desire to frame it as cowboy tv didn't work yeah so that is how i that is not we can disagree on that we can disagree on that that is a hundred percent my perspective that is where i'm coming from i think cowboy tv was to even say it didn't work i think is actually giving it too much credit as like like the possibility of success it's it's

actually couldn't be further from the truth it's the opposite of anything it worked too well and was so far ahead don't touch it that what we need to do it we're trying to create a bridge okay to cowboy tv where we establish our brand in a with content and a format that people are more familiar with so that once they know us we can open them up to the world of cowboy tv which i still think has a very very bright future so while we have i won't say we abandoned it we have set it to the side for now. And we're... We put it on a pedestal as well. It's done.

It's in the museum. It's for the generations to find and revere and treat as they should. But, you know, Hayes thinks one way. We think another way. And isn't that where we're at as a society? It's a little divisive right now yeah and this was so interesting to me as you were talking about this stuff is like the potential for a different kind of show go ahead i don't want to because we go these means yeah half the country currently this is true half of the country that you live in and this is a this is true hey we've got the shit

we've got the facts and figures i mean we're not making this shit up half of it thinks one thing and the rest disagrees and what is so mind-blowing is each both sides think they're right yeah let's take a quick look are you two numbers okay let's go over it thank you the you know half half the country i got it at 50 is thinking one different opinion of things and then then I've got, you know, over here, this whole other half is thinking something else. So it's like we got guys all over the place, and that's where we're coming from. So...

What is it? It just says one... It says half is thinking one thing. Exactly. Well, like if half thinks X, I'm looking at a data sheet right here. I'm a data guy. I know some people. Hayes isn't a data guy.

We're data guys. We do actually. This is sort of. I mean, this is effectively that. And actually, let me do. Yeah. So this is so this is the USA. That's a perfect circle.

Okay. Do you want to describe what it's... Because people can't see it. Okay. So what I have here is actually a diagram. And this is actually from one of the top... It's one of the top newspapers as the source. Well, you did just change it is the source for this

okay people can see that you did just draw usa on it well i said usa at the top because i realized that's the source okay so it is a perfect circle divided precisely down the center into one and two halves. One half says X. This is the half of the country that is thinking this, what the other half would call crazy stuff. Okay. Now on the right side of the circle,

it says B. These are the ones who disagree, right? Yeah. With some of the... Is this about a specific thing? What they would call crazy, but what's the other side? I think we're losing Hayes in the science and the numbers, and that's fine.

And that's fine. That's more for us to get the actual truth of the matter behind. But the question is, why now? Why are we doing this now? And this part was interesting to me. Yes, thank you. Go ahead. This is the country we live in, and I think if you could understand

Sean's graph, it's USA. And we're living that world right now. And yeah, there he is. He's splitting it right down the middle he's got his knife out and this is what we do this down the middle of the country both sides are like good

honestly and we've gone into some meetings and that move that Sean just pulled has blown some minds it's been compared to James Cameron James Cameron wrote Aliens with the Ass and the Dollar Bill some minds it's been compared to he's brought in cameron to yeah yeah well james cameron aliens with the ass and the dollar bill yeah clements takes the knife out and he slashes

through we bring a chalkboard and shit and it like makes a big screech it's so loud yeah and it doesn't cut it that he cuts a chalkboard with a knife it doesn't cut doesn't really cut but it's like a big it's a yeah the chalkboard they're not usable after that we gotta keep going through them oh yeah we need a fresh one because if they see this the scrape on it they know wow what's coming okay and what these meetings are like about this show you're like well we wanted to come to you first obviously but you have had a busy man but you have had other meetings about it we have yeah okay yeah and so our our dream home is obviously to fold it in with some of other projects we have under your umbrella okay uh but we you know we'd be stupid to shut the door and not feel competitive offers okay this is just the first that i ever heard about this like there was no

you never mentioned like us meeting about it before before this or like trying to set something up so like i again i'm very busy man when i'm very interested in this when would you talk to about it can you fuck with your spam filters man i keep telling you over and over again fucking check your spam i did set the filters okay i didn't i didn't see anything in there uh the the the idea is really appealing to me like exploring these kind of issues i'm still not totally clear on what the issue is that people are one second one second what do you need babe what is it your backpack my wife needs her backpack this is a perfect illustration of what we're talking about these

are likely like we are the two kind of sides of this thing right now right she wants the backpack i want the exact opposite let me actually break that down so you know, Sean is a guy out there. No pack. Okay. No pack. Now he's got no pack. Yeah, I couldn't really see that when you held it up. Yeah, it's, you know, I got to get a better camera on here.

Okay. Then, you know, Grace, guess what she needs? Pack. Mm-hmm. And then you circle that up, and it's needs? Pack. Mm-hmm. And then you circle that up, and it's about 50-50 split on there, and that's just a classic example of what we're going to be targeting. So that is an example of the kind of thing that you're going to be talking about? Well, watch this.

Watch this. And he's getting up. And he gets up. He walks all the way to the back of the room. Now he's got to be right over a backpack way to the back of the room now oh my god right over a backpack imagine living in this country okay he's got the pack right where we both where where we both have a backpack oh you know what is that okay what does that do to you so you brought a backpack over and so now you're now you agree i guess yeah well you know if only the country could do the

same but i actually think by experiencing each other's um povs yeah and uh yes i'm sorry i'm getting in the weeds i know what that i i know what that means no it, it's... But... So I think that by experiencing each other's POVs, what we can do is create something of a bridge, a staircase, you know, to the country where this is happening. And we each have... And this is just an example, of course. I still am not sure what the kind of issue is

that you were talking about. Well, he's just making... This became an became an example he's making lemons out of lemonade we didn't plan this i didn't i didn't text sean's wife and be like hey come in we're like losing haze here yeah come in for a second like that just happened we were able to spin it and that's just what we do yeah okay so i mean this guy doesn't have a backpack no you know what's going on here no that was a guy with a backpack and a guy without a backpack so yeah so then what i'm saying really is it's interesting i'd love to do both ways this guy could take his backpack off would be i can't draw that because that's not you you know. And, you know, honestly, we don't have to.

But think about that. Yeah. And we don't have to, I guess, really play out this example because, like, I am really curious to just hear the real thing, to, like, to see this in practice and this, like, point-counterpoint and how you hash this, whatever the issue turns out to be. Again, I'm still not still not like totally clear on no that was just an example i mean i i know the backpack was an example yeah i know that but like

but the the stuff from earlier when you just described it is well think about food i mean think about food and honestly that maybe is what we should start with like okay like maybe we should do so you don't have a thing that you like oh we've actually recorded some stuff and like we've done yeah we've done a lot of examples but the the beauty of it is because ben and i have this dynamic where uh we do each feel pretty strongly about our own kind of uh povs um so this guy every I know every time I say it, I can see your eyes go like... Penis on vagina.

It's like... That is absolutely not what I was thinking. It's point of view. I know what it is. It's not that kind of show. You'll have to tune in to a different channel for that. Hey, whatever you think it is. I know.

Okay, sure. You think it is I know okay sure you think it's point of view but just for maybe other listeners let's say and not you I'm not trying to put you on the spot I think most people know what it is that's fine certainly by now we've done it twice the other listeners that aren't you

that might be really helpful for them yeah and I think if that were if there were anyone listening who didn't know that POV meant point of view, I think we are squared away on that aspect of this. So point of view is how I see things, let's say, versus sean's pov his point of view would be how he sees things which is dramatically different than the way i see we go on road trips together we had a fork in the road i'm like let's go right he's like let's go left our driver doesn't know what the

hell to do you have someone driving you on a road i went straight okay you were driving engineer brett okay see this yes i see it well well no i can't really tell what it is they're both wearing a backpack one of them has something like coming out of its head well they both do that's vision in opposite directions right that's an abstraction so this one's pov they might be seeing a big fucking bird and this one actually make it that this one because this one's pov they might be seeing a big fucking bird and this one actually make it that this one because this one's looking because he's looking at a museum big bird so so this one might see you know some yeah some sort of uh like a bug okay like it'd be big so how are they how do these two how do they share a country and not have it and not uh uh throttle at one another my friends and i were

sending around this photo one of them took of uh their you know their dress and they were getting ready to go out in the pit yeah and everybody like couldn't agree on the colors of this fucking thing yes like we say is it blue and black is it golden white cool wait you're saying this happened to you in real life that this yeah a couple of my friends and i guess his friends he and his friends were getting ready for this event it's like a formal function yeah late after so this you know yeah this played out on like online year i think like nine years ago now where like it was a it was a photo of it we don't have the exact date or anything yeah i have so i have so i have a couple friend of mine i mean we this is this is better maybe this will

be easier for you so i there's a couple friend of mine they're really sweet uh um yanny and laurel okay this is another very similar they you know well it didn't play out online at all i mean we were this was before we even got in line like we were already this is like while we were getting ready for the event they weren't dressed yet the dress is still on like a hanger that's not what i meant i so this again like these are potential other examples i guess none of them seem to be like that good a fit for the kind of stuff you were talking about which is like these really intractable national issues that can be discussed i mean the thing about the dress is like there is nothing to talk about there it's like so such a boring conversation to hear people disagree about that is actually what i got i got a fucking list of hot button talk topics i mean you name it we all the shit that is ripping

this fucking nation apart yeah we got you were well sean was saying maybe start with food i actually don't think that that's a good oh are you kidding me have you been to a thanksgiving dinner you got gluten-free people you got your vegans you got your paleo people on this very uh zoom we have vegans vegetarians we have paleo we have keto i brett's doing some sort of uh what i mean do you want to explain a little bit about your diet Brett we don't have to get He's doing that like young blood thing Yes It's a blood diet So he's So you're not eating blood

Not eating blood No no it's just It's no It's just blood But it's also You are eating blood So't think vegetarians don't eat vegetables well they're just different ways to refer to when i say a blood diet yeah i've you know you know everything but blood you obviously know my whole thing i you man i'm hungry

that's it okay that's it that's one thing we can agree on man yeah that's nice to start off you know congenial and then we and then we do kind of have to so this is part of it and what was confusing to me earlier was when you were like we say this in the pitch so none of this was the pitch the dress story is part of the pitch traditionally usually people let us finish

are we rolling? yeah we are yes we are we're almost 25 minutes in I would love to just like I would love to just like I would love to hear how this works and just

sort of like get to enjoy it. I'm going to start recording. I'm going to roll on my end. Can you guys hear me? And get my lines. So this is all pre-scripted okay we we have freedom within it but we do have points we want to hit yeah it's it's a little tight at moments and you know i have some stuff i got to get some of my facts right i want people to feel they're in good hands and yeah we want the data

to be accurate and there's so much misinformation out there which is another topic we actually could talk about but that's not what you're gonna okay I'm curious to hear what the topic actually is because I feel like we brought this food can you shut the fuck up while we do it because you're not gonna be in the show that's absolutely not the nicest way that you could say that

but I am happy to be quiet but please do not talk to me like that let's just okay this is exactly why we're doing this show look at how fucking things i've gotten heated we're gonna show that well you know you can get okay yeah if that was an example in the country you call home haze uh these are the kind of conversations that are happening that's fine if that was like as you said an example i don't think that's actually indicative of like the kind of stuff you're talking about in these like debates over issues

i think that oh yeah everyone's very respectful and these people get pretty fucking ugly online man man. Again, do not speak to me that way. I was online. Don't, don't do it as an example. Like I understand what you're trying to do, but that is, that is like complete. I,

I, I want to support. It's no good. If you bury your head in the sand and don't see the way these conversations really play out, then you can't connect to, but this is not what we're doing. Like, I don't see the way these conversations really play out then you can't connect to but this is not what we're doing like I don't I don't need it

as an example and so there's no like should we start rolling over again that I would just start recording yeah I'm gonna cut and then I'm gonna start recording now Kevin if you don't have to do that it it doesn't matter if you cut or just keep recording like when we just use like Kevin when we're doing the show and we talked about this a little bit actually brett you could

talk to haze too haze won't be on the show so while right ben and i are doing the show he does need to shut the fuck up i know that i'm not able to you you are speaking to me and if if brett or kevin say that to me it's honestly an entirely different problem and so like that that will escalate things in a way that none of us here should be comfortable with you're fucking too serious man yeah i i like i i i don't think i like like this yo shut the fuck up man like come on come on. It's like we're like. We're being silly, man. We're being silly online with our friends.

I don't get it. I don't know what this is. I don't know why. I don't know why people have all started talking like. So I. We're fucking. Shut the fuck up, dude. We're just fucking with you, man.

Yeah, man. It's all POV. So. It has nothing to do with POV. Let's just get into it. Okay. And I'm ready. A country divided, America.

What goes up must come down. At least that's what I think. And what goes in must come out. And I'm talking, of course, today about food. Bang Raj, man. Your 30 seconds starts now. Well, I'll, today about food. Bang Raj, man, your 30 seconds starts now. Well, I'll tell you about food. I just ate myself a whole mess of beans.

Well, I didn't have any beans myself either. I can't agree with you on that. What I can agree on is roosting a marshmallow right here on this old beautiful TV set. At least that's what I call it. Me, the cowboy. Yeah, we're lucky, too. It's not on the fritz. Nope, reception's crystal clear tonight.

It's just one of those nights when the programming powers that be lined up just to kill or set a back-to-back hit. Some pretty risque late-night stuff. Look at all them titillating embers. Am I paying for a premium channel? Because I do declare I see the outline of one hot seed in there. Yeah, but it ain't your daddy's cowboy TV. It's not family night. No, it sure ain't.

So you finished. You are actually done. That's the food segment, yeah. That is the food segment. Okay. Beans or marshmallows, you know, and the country can't agree. So one guy's beans, one guy's marshmallows you know say

the obvious like it is cowboy tv it's the exact same show there was a very brief introduction where you told bang that he that his 30 seconds started now and then he just said we're not married to that we're not married to that intro the intro honestly might go okay more for you because okay i don't i i definitely didn't need the intro the intro didn't work for me at all either that's great let's lose it we didn't want to do it scrap it it was kind of just but everything everything else that's there also i'm on record as saying it is not working because it is cowboy tv it is the exact same show it has nothing to do there was no real show it's called the country

divided there is no debate in it at all it was just like the first thing bang he had beans i didn't have beans he just ate a whole he just said he ate a whole mist of beans. Yeah. Was the first thing you said. I cannot imagine that's what's on the paper. That is, yeah. That's on my script. It says mist of beans? Yeah. I had a whole mist of beans.

Yeah. Mine says the same thing. It's on Brett's script. It's like part of what queues up some like we're all looking at the app pull it up like i'm not we're not fucking around i missed the beans yeah like that was perfect you know what i'll double check and like get to the paper mine looks like it says mystic beans but you know my chicken scratch i wouldn't be surprised you wrote it down well yeah i i sent the script all these guys and i said write it in longhand because i want

you know their spin there's something of a homespun folksy feel you know they said so much of i mean that's one of the things we debate on the show is how the world has become so automated and the reliance on technology yes it's you know it's a good thing i guess this advancement but is it actually pushing us back and you know you have God's antenna you have pitched this other place is that a pen you have pitched this other places

you tell them you tell them it's a show called a country divided and that it's about a debate between like the big issues that the country is facing and then you start brett's there you play the sound of a fire brett plays the guitar and then the two of you pretend to be cowboys who are watching a fire and comparing it to tv

yeah what has been what has been the reaction in other that's the entire that is the entire concept that is sometimes not even that sometimes it's not like like sometimes it's not even focused on the the fire stuff it's you're generalizing now um there's a there's a hint of that yes like you know we have our signature on it. We can't help it. No one would fault you for finding that element. I mean, it's certainly not an option. What kind of reactions?

I would so love to know. Because so far, I'm the only person. I can't even talk about this to people because no one... It's not interesting to hear secondhand that I had to sit through this show now this is like the fifth or sixth time that we've done this

where the two of you pretend to be cowboys who either we're friends man if you ever have a script you want to send my way and get my thoughts on it like feel free I'd what I want to like sorry get you back like I'm taking too long to get to what I would so what I'm so desperate to hear

is what kinds of reactions other people are giving you when you do this to them. Kitty. Is that a cat? It's a kitty cat. Okay. Perfect. The idea, I would love to get in touch with these people.

I would love to discuss with them the experience of like hearing this unsurprisingly if you've been to one of these pitch meetings we've been to a few now the room usually has you know has quite a few people in it yeah okay if we do a cats or why do you have that what is cats because that's something people you know will get into we do a cats versus dogs we do in fact yeah maybe we'll save that for another a future segment but that one gets pretty heated i gotta i need to unwind after some of those yeah cats versus dogs okay yeah but uh you know it's usually there's a you know few people in these pitch me you know a number of these executives will show up and the irony has been in terms of pitching a country divided i feel like it's always you know a a room full of suits divided some people really get it love it you know yeah there's always

some detractor someone saying you know i disagreed with the one guy it's like you're supposed to disagree with the one guy that's the point yeah sure a few from time to time so some people don't some people in the room say that they don't like it because they disagree with one of the cowboys the debate there was no debate there was not a debate happening the two cowboys agreed the two cowboys agreed on everything i'm a big enough man to admit frequently the suits have more of a problem with my opinions and i kind of wear that as a badge of honor i honestly i wear that if the fucking suits disagree with my ass. Fine.

Fine. I feel like a sellout because sometimes they're going like, well, some of what this guy was saying, you know, I love a nice toasty marshmallow. And I'm like, yeah, well, that's like, I'm like, Sean, we drive away. I'm like, Sean, you had a real good time with your friends in there. Those fucking suits. Yeah. And I fucking razz them a little bit.

I tell him, I go, I go, will you shut the fuck up you fucking clown and we get a good laugh on it you know we okay so it has failed each other oh we're not done with the we're not done pitching it i mean this stuff takes months and again like i think there's we have some supporters in the room you know they're not always the highest ranking people there hollywood handbook this week on the pro version the boys work on page two for the script of barbara bush so this is audience member number two as we recall audience member number one was Bane, who tripped over the microphone, disconnected it. Should this be Wayne?

This should be Wayne. Bane and Wayne? Mm-hmm. W-A-N-E. Sort of like a Wario Waluigi type version of Bane. Boos Wayne? Boos Wayne. Okay, keep going.

Mark looks around for the person who yelled. He finds him, a mid-60s biker. Wayne. Mid-60s biker. If I'm a biker, I want a 0-100s biker. Yeah. If he's biking, a real biker, he'd be zero to one hundredth.

Or she. Yeah. I'm not against Wayne being a woman. Maybe it stands for woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman,

woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, cousin and the video for today's episode with bang and brett at patreon.com slash the flagger ones be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really

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You don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet. You're actually doing the cooking. And there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal. The promise is the meal makes us sleepy.

You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that.

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No, we didn't even... This is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's very simple it's one huge chicken nugget sign up and save we've done the math factor is less expensive than takeout every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious head to factor meals.com slash the boys 50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com slash theboys50 to get 50% off. Hey, guys.

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is there more to it i mean like again like and i did have a problem yeah there's more to it we just said we do cats and dogs we talk about misinformation right we talk about all kinds of different things the backpack thing was just an example get off it you're so stuck i'm not i'm not fucking see you like haven't moved on since god and this sucks like you you get this beautiful moment it's like i'm gonna roll with it sometimes it bites you in the ass because like right hayes can't fucking see past being able to go with the flow and incorporate what's happening in real time and go like hey this is real life like we see it all the time and then it just sticks in hayes's mind in this way where he's

not actually like watching or listening to the show which is a great like debate topic show do you hate John Williams because Superman theme sounds kind of like the Star Wars theme? Because I feel like you just can't get over our signature sound. Right. I think you're coming at it with so much baggage because

we did once upon a time do cowboy TV. So your signature sound is to is the voice that you do, which is like a kind of a sort of a cowboy voice, where they're watching. You're putting that on it, but go ahead. No, I'm not.

You named it Cowboy TV. Yeah. And it's the same voice from that show. We've now named it A Country Divided. It's A Country Divided. Let's just get voice from that show. We've now named it a country divided. It's a country divided. Let's just get that straight. Yes. So this is just like

what I'm to accept at this point when you come to me and tell me you want to pitch something else that no matter what the signature aspect of it is going to be two cowboys watching a fire

and comparing it to TV. I said no matter what. Yo man, when you watch you just said it's your are you like man it's weird sam malone is the mayor now like can you not get how'd he become mr mayor sam malone he's but he's playing a different character he's not like exactly yes thank you wow he's not hey wait a minute he does fucking get it okay we've made a breakthrough yes at last what's different you just have to walk it tell me about give me about without doing the actual show or whatever tell me about the backstory of these characters that's different

from the cowboy tv guys let's do it we have great we have a segment go ahead it's a segment where you talk about the backstory of the characters yeah great okay we want people to have a connection to these we don't want to be talking heads we want them to feel like they know these people who are in these very spirited uh conversations where they you know they can't quite agree on the ground rules which is respect each other they come from different backgrounds and they have different opinions and they're trying to represent a broader spectrum of the country. Let's do this segment where they do that. Yeah, just shut the fuck up.

I'm not, that doesn't make me mad anymore. I feel so sorry for all of you. There was a time where that would make me upset. Should we cut? We're doing the show. Should we cut? I'm sorry, but we have to be able to do this. I'm going to roll.

Go ahead and do it. Go ahead. I'm rolling. I'm starting. Go ahead. Oh, fella. You know, whoever thought the two of us would end up out here staring at the same old Cowboy TV? Yep, we're back at Cowboy TV Me, a good old boy from the disappearing west

And you, a southern rancher Used to rope and steers when all I ever did was, you know, round up cattle And here we come together in front of this here fire And a bit, isn't she? in front of this here fire. And a bit, isn't she? Boy, this fire is about as fiery and has as many angry-looking flames as the two of us do

when we start talking about the two, three, four, or dozen things that we don't see eye to eye on. Of course, one law kind of reminds me of me. Oh, you know what point of view means, don't you? Surely I do. Sometimes I call it POV for short. Well, I have to take umbrage with that, my good man.

I like to call it just PV. Oh, wow. You get that straight out of there. Cowboy PV, that is. Yeah, cowboy PV. Oh, wow. You get that straight out of there. Cowboy PV, that is. Yeah, cowboy PV. Little joke I like to make. Pass me those beans. Okay, here's a Mr. Beans. Ah, look at them logs. Kind of remind me of me and you, huh?

This one log's got the fire burning up inside of it. And this other log got the fire outside of it. Well, they're about as opposite as could be while still being the same species and having to share this one same fire. I'm glad we found some common ground. Looking at the cowboy PV okay the that was fucking good man

I don't mean to like pat ourselves on the back but like it was the same trailer moment always the same as everything else there's a fucking story dude that doesn't make any sense shut up for a second there's a fucking story i in the first one i don't eat the beans imagine a country where the guy the fucking people now like you who won't even try the beans, right?

Have their friend now, who they used to disagree with, hand them the Mr. Beans. Nobody is tracking this. The Mr. Beans get... Nobody is tracking this as a conflict. Yeah, you're nobody. The idea that it was... That everyone is waiting to see whether one of them... Dude, you can barely say it. You can see whether you can barely say it you can barely

you're like i can't really say conflict you're like fucking robert durst confessing a fucking murder man like you can't like you can't even lie to yourself like that yeah and the idea that fucking kevin's busting out trailer moments left and right what i what i what i do want to moments left and right what i what i what i do want to sort of like stop that was was brett playing sultans of swing at one point yeah that's my sound yeah guitar your signature sound i have a sound sultans of swing the guy's got a signature sound there's two there's 12 notes is that part of it where like well yeah because our country is in dire straits hayes has no how is that part of it where like well yeah because our country is in dire straits haze how is that connected there you go connections how is that going to that song how is that although the country's in dire straits we all have to do that walk of life right

that's a different song i know it's all the same song uh 12 notes it's a different song so how so how is that connected is the idea that it's like yo let's move on man okay let's deal with something else you mentioned like guitar you mentioned guitar george like is that check out guitar george he knows all the chords yeah harry doesn't mind check out guitar george it just seems unrelated i i just bring it up because it was like it was something new brett like suddenly playing salt and that's that's that's not a normally an aspect of cowboy tv as i've heard which by the way both of you said it was cowboy tv multiple times in the thing both both of your said it was Cowboy TV multiple times in the thing. Both of your characters... There was a touch

of that. We're saying this is... In fact, you said it was the same old Cowboy TV. Harry doesn't know. The same one. We were both looking at the same one. No, you said the same old Cowboy TV. I'm establishing... Yes, they were both

the two of us staring at at the same at the same old cowboy tv you know although we come from totally different backgrounds uh not two people you would ever expect to see the same backgrounds are let alone on the same you know wild pasture yeah the different backgrounds are the guy from the disappearing West who's used to wrangling cattle. Yeah. And a Southern rancher who's used to roping steers. What's the difference between roping steers and.

We have a whole segment. I don't want to hear that. Remember the circle thing with the knife. I don't want to hear that. Well, you asked. So I thought you might. I don't. Yeah. I just wanted to hear an answer to the question i actually don't want to give it to you

because it's you won't get it you see an old guitar is all he can afford i like this song this is why i was kind of like drawn to it. It's one of my favorite songs. And so I thought like, oh, this is like kind of a nice thing. But it's just like, he could play the honky tonk like anything. Right. And you didn't think it fit in. Like to me, it was spot on. It was the song.

It was the cherry on top. The song tells a story. I think a really captivating story about like kind of discovery coming out of the rain and you hear this jazz band uh and you know like you come upon this community that's been performing like this for a long time like and that song welcome really to the 21st century man like we i actually find it like incredibly insulting to what is a really beautiful song okay that it would even that it would even be like played alongside something as just like intellectually bankrupt as cowboy tv i would think hayes at this point at this point in our collaboration how long you've known all of us involved that you would be able to get excited

don't call this a collaboration nothing i've ever pitched has been implemented in this in this project we've worked on other things so let me get this straight but cowboy tv i like i would hope you could be excited that we're excited i would hope that you could feel that there is some real momentum behind this and that you could put aside your enormous fucking ego that is the size of the titanic which sank by the way no coincidence uh and actually just listen and hear that we have found something really good that works. Period. Point blank. I didn't want to kind of bust this card out, but every time I've been to Hayes' house and he's throwing a party.

You know one of the songs that comes on his playlist every time? All Summer Long. Songs. By Summer Long. By Kid Rock. And he fucking loves it. And he thinks it's the best shit. I don't think that's my favorite song or anything. Well, it's always on your playlist, man.

I'll play it at a certain type of party. I don't think it's my favorite song. And guess what, man? Kid Rock didn't invent that out of thin air. Yeah. All right? It's that little piano. Werewolf's London, man? Kid Rock didn't invent that out of thin air. Alright? Werewolves of London, man. Yes.

We are taking something existing, Sultans of Swing. Yes, I know you like it and I didn't realize you had such a huge attachment to it. We're weaving that into a new story. That's what being an artist is all about and artistic growth is all about

it's collage i i i want to go back i mean like i just i'll just sort of take this one by one like the being excited for the two of you the fact that you are excited i am so supportive of you making this work somewhere like wherever you can if you have if you have all these opportunities then like i then i really encourage you to pursue them what i think is actually happening is that you're lying you you're lying about all of this you lied that this wasn't cowboy tv it is the same the characters both say it's cowboy tv and you promised me that it wasn't and then you had so and then you scripted both the characters to say that this was cowboy so like you're not laughing this is so much like one of the debates we would have on the show and you're you're to me you're proving the point of why we're even doing

the show in the first place this is like it's so essential right now to our nation to have a show like this because of exactly what you're enacting which is one side says you're lying you know that's not what you think you're doing cowboy tv the other side saying yeah some of the raw materials that make up the show are cowboy tv just like you know you paint was used to create the mona lisa as well as uh uh uh the my house diner and the house his house the i'm not standing i'm not like stopping any of you from doing this as a show like and i don't want to stand in the way of that if you want to do this with all these like these places that you've pitched it the perspective

partners that you have i was a little upset when i thought this was a completely different concept and not the same thing that you've done five times to me already i i was upset that you had taken in other places now i'm totally supportive if you can make it work somewhere else please do that, because so much of our Cowboy TV IP has been sort of entangled with your production company and all of that. I relinquish it. I never wanted it. I never had any interest in it. It's just a sticky contractual thing legally.

It's not sticky at all. I'm sure that we can work this out. I want no part of it whatsoever. And I will sign any document to that effect. In fact, I insist. I would like documents drawn up saying that I have no ownership, no affiliation whatsoever. Me, no one in my family.

Nobody is connected to it. The division of the royalties and stuff is going to be i don't want any nightmare i want zero i want zero i want zero well i'm happy you're saying that but the realities of the legal system in our country are that it's it's going to be a very drawn out process it's going to be extremely painful what if it's something that i just like i never i just like i say i never knew about this i like i never hear about it again a lot like there must be a way that okay so you went to you pitch this to other places even though you seem to think that it can only happen that's all right we're landing spot but we did want to generate competitive offers as well

um and honestly i mean you're taking this the wrong way you you're insulted but you should be honored we didn't go to you first because we wanted to work the kinks out we wanted to get this thing smooth that we didn't want to embarrass ourselves in front of our supposed friend i think a lot of those were practice pitches yeah you're practicing for me yeah we didn't want to bring this thing to pep boys like no we like we went into a couple different shingles we've been straight to buyers and yeah yeah we're not just like a phrase or like you did actually pitch this at like uh we pitched this to the guys at pep boys uh automotive and for what for them to do what with it you know maybe they wanted

to get into a new space and they were a little confused about what they wanted to do with it as well that's a fair all these cars have tvs in them now no they don't oh god dude damn dude what's he driving driving what the fuck they're just aren't that get off your city bike dude getting a fucking car. They got TVs. That's not a TV. Don't take a hoverboard everywhere. It's not safe. It's a screen, but it's not like a TV.

Some cars have TVs. You're fucking decrepit birds. And also, Pep Boys doesn't make cars. Well, but they adjust them. Cars are coming through. Yeah, but they don't like put tvs in them it actually doesn't matter they fucking passed all right you got it out of us pep boys isn't interested all right but it was a it was a practice pitch all right that was a practice

pitch before this one and you're fucking like you're getting thrown off by this fucking backpack bullshit i haven't even been thinking about the backpack you know man forget about the fucking backpack for five minutes we fucking nailed it kevin's fucking popping our trailer moments left and fucking right. Kevin can do whatever he wants. Kevin is working in all these other places without telling us already. Kevin is welcome to run with this. If I could just say, Hayes, in terms of whether or not we were able to generate competitive offers,

say hayes in terms of whether or not we were able to generate competitive offers we actually do have there there are a few different places competing for great what you have expressed interest in which is which is divesting themselves from anything to do with the cowboy tv brand and that that so you have pitched this and the offer that you're getting is like for ways for the people that just heard the pitch it's not dissimilar it's not the first the reason i know and their affiliation with such a boondoggle you know to get you removed from it is that we have gone down that path a little bit with some of our other partners i i know you never thought you owned a hundred percent of cowboy tv and we've sort of spread our shares around among some other um producers and and so when they producers oligarchs like yeah we've been kind of

selling pieces here and there sold shares of cheeks and of cowboy tv yeah i think we should just all roll with this see where it goes how does this how does this like like how does like just to protect our you made a t-shirt you made a mug they both are terrible products they look like shit okay this is good stuff for the show this is great i mean because i disagree with you but you know the show has nothing to do with bang we can can debate it. This is not fundamental to the show at all. The show's about cowboys watching a fire and pretending it's TV. That's what the show is. That's the only thing that the show is.

It's cowboys watching a fire and pretending it's TV. It's not an debate show. It's not a POV show. Some people like a mug that has the logo on a weird-ass spot. It's off-center that you can't see it when you're drinking from it. If the cowboys talk about this it's totally incidental to like that some people love that kind of fire and pretend tv that's the only thing that the show is the two logs that we how does this burning from the inside

how does this practically like play like the idea that we're like that we are moving forward with this what does that mean it's the same thing every time you just you just come back and you pitch it again there's never anything more to it than that let's how how how what is it what we need obviously we need capital to grow the brand so you want money you want money you want you want me to give you money for what i don't know bang should we debate that would you want money i could yeah you should especially i'd like to adjust the mugs a little bit yeah some people do like the money to move the logo on the mug so that yes but it's overwhelmingly most people like it in a different spot.

Is what we found. And obviously, our characters could debate that, and I think it would make for a great episode. But right now, the most pressing issue in the short term is just to get the logo on the mug moved so that we can... I would say the safest bet is to clear out your bank account just to get room in there for all the money that's going to be coming in

how much does it cost to move the the logo on the mug I mean isn't it free Christ this guy isn't it just for numbers every time you know they don't make these things ahead of time

they just like when someone orders them you remember this Ace the kitty They don't make these things ahead of time. They just, like, when someone orders them, they just... You remember this, Ace? The kitty you drew. It's a crypto kitty, actually. Okay. It's worth so much a third. Hey, man, take a break, man.

Sometimes you got to take a vacation, Sean. You can't work all the time. That guy's always making money, man. He's busting out crypto kitties this is a different pitch right no but i'm just saying like that he drew he that he drew it he's making money even like when he doesn't have to and you don't want to do business with this guy are you sure what are your notes how much does it cost to change the mugs? How much does it cost?

$750. $750. Yeah. Plus labor. And how do we break that out? Like the cost of like... Well, we came up with the mug. We got the mugs.

We got the labor. And then we got the current mugs on the market who are also going to want to send them back to us and get them fixed so we got to put that all together and we got about 750 bucks plus plus labor so plus labor yeah that was yeah you just included labor i no i said plus labor no i know you did yeah that's that's what i'm reacting to there's very there's varying layers of the labor we got the labor we got the current mugs that are out there on the market you know what i mean so that's going to bring us to a bout we got to adjust that so that's you know this is back of the nap

if you got notes give us your notes man we're not like set in stone I'm not doing that again there's a cheaper way to do it I want the quality of the products on Cowboy TV none of my notes have ever been incorporated in any of these projects.

I don't even think that's true. It is true. It is true. It's the same as when I first heard it. What's a note we haven't taken? It's the exact same show. I cannot. I cannot keep doing this.

I cannot hear this. Say a note we haven't taken. We'll take it right now. I don't like Cowboy't like cowboy tv i don't want it are you fucking stupid man stop cowboy tv his note was he loved sultans of swing yes i did yeah i yeah i really got that but i don't want it but i don't want it louder but i don't want it connected to cowboy tv at all i don't want any like if you can find a way to incorporate sultans of swing in some way which you don't own but like what do you mean

that's something that i would be willing to put money behind if a worthy project for that song well i think we got one and maybe we should bust it out right now. Okay, it's going to be Cowboy TV. You might be surprised. Okay, let's just see. That's what it's going to be. It's always Cowboy TV. It never changes.

It's the fire sound. It's... They're eating beans. They're eating marshmallowsallows they talk about the fire they compare it to some kind of TV thing sometimes I guess it's like porno this time sometimes it's like an action movie sometimes it's like a mystery show sometimes it's a kids show

I don't know if they've ever I mean I feel like it's just kind of the action movie and the mystery show over and over again except this time there was the porno aspect of it but it's just the same it's the same every time that's what this is going to be you're welcome to do it it you cannot hurt me with this anymore so like do it as many times as you want it has nothing to do with me and i i i refuse to participate in this going forward okay i we hear those notes is there a note yeah okay gonna try to you know i will take a look at it obviously yeah we can take a look at it, obviously. Yeah, we can take a look at it. We can get some of that stuff in. It's not a no.

See what we can work in. We appreciate that, actually. Previously on A Country Divided. Oh, man. I'm getting too close to this here fire. It's dang hot. Go ahead and move your stump on back a few yards there, friend. I'll tell you, is it just me or do two of these flames here look like they're going at each other, taking swings,

but also like they might be hugging and kissing? Yeah, and they also look like they're trying to solve a crime. You sure said something there. Yeah, they do look like they might be trying to solve one. Brett, don't play that song. Because we're cowboy. We're watching cowboy TV. Don't sing it.

Don't sing it. Don't play the song. Check out cowboy B. Shut it off. Shut it off. Shut it off. Shut it off. Shut it off. Watch it. Cowboy B. Don't sing it. Don't sing it. Don't play the song. Check out Cowboy B. Shut it off. Shut it off. Shut it off. Shut it off. Watch it.

Cowboy B. Shut it off. Shut it off. Goodbye. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a HeadGum Podcast.