Hollywood Handbook - Aasif Mandvi, Our Big Get / Scott Ankerman, Our Business Rival

Episode Date: September 7, 2015

Hayes and Sean have to basically skip the whole intro because their contract has lapsed. Instead of celebrating their 100th episode, they negotiate a new contract with Scott Aukerman and AASIF MANDVI, who couldn't do the show any other time.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, sharing chips with Terry. Swag off. Having sort of a chip draft. We each take a chip and say, with the first pick, this big barbecued chip. And then it's always it's in the same bag so it's always barbecue chips but you go second pick third pick until as long as it's not those cappuccino chips well i that's i don't want to get started on that

disgusting and he says what do you think about this movie idea i have for a good santa is it are we going yeah we're it's on right now yeah you're recording right now oh okay well i don't want like we can't do stuff for the show we can't be like oh yeah well because it's well yeah i mean should we just say what's going on so okay yeah you go you want to go or do you want me to go? You want me to say it or you want to say it? I'll go. I'll go. You go. You go. All right.

So I'm going to hand this off to Hayes. He's about to explain what's going on. Okay. Thanks, John. It's our 100th episode. I don't know how to explain this without getting into like kind of technical. It's like wonky stuff, but that's good.

I actually think that's good. No, it's nice. And hopefully over the past 99 episodes, we've educated them to a point where they can understand. Mm hmm. Uh, this is our hundredth episode,

the mouth breathing Cretans. It's a, um, it's a flexion point, uh, during which at the, at the outset of every episode, we are doing the show in subsidy of Earwolf and Scripps. Yes. And podcast media. Yes.

For listening audio tunes. But. At the same time. and podcast media for listening audio tunes but at the same time we have a contract and when the contract time is over it becomes paper and you have

paper laws and the lawyers can see the paper and make decision and also make big trouble for Scott, etc. And so normally we would do a special have guests on. Oh, yes. Famous guests. Because we love our listeners.

Yes. But in this case, we kind of have to just get right to it and we can't do a game or any of the segments that we normally... None of the fun info you normally get because it would be basically doing ourselves a disservice to even mention any of that before we hammer out this contract stuff with Scott. Yes. We are not technically employees of the podcast. It would actually be against paper law, podcast law, to do a show without a contract. And we'd go to podcast jail, which is worse than regular jail. It's worse food. So we'll get right into it. We can do commercials. Nice beds, though. They have Casper mattresses in podcast jail. That's the great segue to what we are probably going to do a casper mattress commercial or something like that we are allowed to do that even though we aren't employees of the show so commercial

coming right up then into uh we're going to negotiate our contract with scott i think we have a lot of bullet points we uh we have to. Oh, and do we have a guest today, too? Yeah, Asif Manfi is here as well. Right, sure. Yeah. You'll get it. You'll hear it. Yeah, on Hollywood Handbook.

So I'm now furious, and William Goldman is holding his ground. He's going, it's a short surfboard. And I'm saying, no, William, it's a long boogie board. And he's like, well, then why can I stand up on it? And I'm like, because it's longer than most boogie boards. And finally I turn to Anna Kendrick and I say, do you want to settle this? What do you think she said? I don't think she said anything.

I think she grabbed the board and hit the serve vertically, which is boogieing, going straight in head first, proving your point, I imagine. Is that wrong? I couldn't be wrong. I wasn't there. She did say something? No, it just makes me wonder if you've already spoken to Anna.

Oh, that is exactly what happened? No, I mean, but... I don't like to have tricks played on me, so if you've spoken to Anna, just say it now. No, I have not spoken to her. When you said, what do you think she said, it seems like

you would anticipate... She didn't say anything, yeah. Right, but that I would know what happened. You didn't want me to... I wanted you to guess wrong and then I come in. I'm the hero of the story because I have the actual answer. Okay. It doesn't matter. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names at the red carpet line

back hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Yes, it's our 100th episode. We don't want party. The fanfare. Balloon. I'm sick of it. Not any balloon. Banner.

Not a single balloon because it's litter. Ultimately, they're just litter. And I get scared with the big silver ones that I'll end up like that balloon boy and my dad will have to go to jail. We did an episode a while ago. We talk about podcasting, finances and stuff.

Every 25 episodes is an episodic quarter. That's when we renegotiate our contracts with the people at Earwolf. contracts with the people at Earwolf. We have done those behind closed doors in the past per Scott Aukerman's specifications. It's time, I think, to bring them back out. Back out into the sunlight. And it's for us, it's a matter of transparency being sort of the mission statement of the podcast. We want the entertainment industry to be stripped bare and exposed for what it is, warts and

all. Yes. And so we have Scott here. Hi, guys. To sort of talk this stuff out. But before we get into it with you. Happy Hundo. Oh, yes.

Okay. But we said we didn't want any of that stuff. Well, we didn't get you any of that stuff. It was merely a sentiment. You'll notice there's no cupcakes, not even one balloon, not even a giant hot air balloon. Well, that's exactly what we said. To take you to a separate location, another party. We didn't want and don't want.

Thank you for saying that, by the way. It made the decision so much easier. Yeah, it probably was hard not to do it. But as I was going to say before we get into it with you, Scott, before you start going off on your own thing, we have Asif Manvi here. Very excited. This was the only time you could do this.

Yeah. And so what we're hoping to do, I guess, is get the contract stuff accomplished in this episode. But just sort of in between the normal interview that we would have done with you. Yeah. Yeah. But also be interviewing Asif, who – How did you guys get this good of a guest? I'm blown away.

This is incredible. Yeah, I wasn't told. Well, this is actually a great introduction for something that we like to do. Because, Asif, you have never been on an Earwolf show before. No. I would love to have you on my show instead of this show. I'd like to do your show. We could maybe just end this show early and then just launch into my show.

Because I normally, when I— You do the biggest shows. Well, I do biggest shows, and I'm usually not—I'm do the biggest shows. I do bigger shows and I'm usually the only guest. And you are. I'm not really a guest. I'm more of an audience.

This is definitely an awkward situation. I feel like I'm in the middle of a back door deal. Oh, awesome. The whole idea is that it's a front door deal and the door's open and the cats

are released. All right, well listen. That said, the door is closed to the studio because it makes for a better recording. Maybe that's where

you're confused. Well, it just feels like this is not something that, I mean, I wish you the best in your negotiation for this contract. Right.

I want you to get I don't. Actually, I wish you the worst because that's for this contract. I want you to get what— I don't. Actually, I wish you the worst because that's my negotiating position. I actually don't have any— That's bad for us. I actually don't care how this contractual negotiation goes. Did you change your mind or were you just being nice? Well, I was just being nice just now.

And the truth is I don't care. And I'm a little, like, sort of, you know, confused why I was booked. Come on my show after this. Well, let's see, Asif. We're not going to do any contract negotiations. It'll just be like one-on-one total two-hour. Snooze. That's like every podcast.

Snoozefest? No, come on. Asif, we could. How did you trick me into saying Snoozefest? Snoozefest, which is actually the future name of our show. Yes, well, after 100, part of our negotiation is, of course, we do want to call it Snoozefest. You want to change the title of your show to Snoozefest? I'm not going to bend on that.

Snooze, you are saying it with a Z. No, it's S-N-O-O-U-S. Oh, Snoozefest? Yes. Like the cha. Better. It's a Dutch cha. A snooze fest?

Yes. Like the cha. It's better. It's a Dutch cha. So, Asif, if you stick around, maybe there's a little something in the – if we could carve something out for you. In the negotiation? Maybe this would make it a more – a friendlier experience. Sure. I mean, I think – look, I think if I was able to walk away from this with a piece of this show.

Like back end? Like a back end piece of this show, I think that that would probably. Points on points. Points, yes, points. What might actually work is just money up front. Oh, I see. So like a guarantee against the back end. Against the back end.

Okay. A guarantee of cash. Would make it worth it for me, I think. Guys, can I talk to you for a second without Asif here listening? Absolutely. Okay, Asif, take off your headphones. Okay. So, guys, this is a get for you, I have to say.

You have not had as good of a get on this show since, I think, Pauly Shore. That was the big one for me. Yeah. That was an amazing episode. I have to say congrats on that. By the way, now I take off my headphones. I can totally hear everything. Oh, okay.

Well, this is all compliments at this point. You're saying. Okay, now take them off. Okay, so now I think we got to give something up to him to get him to stay. Because he wants to leave. Yeah. I would really suggest, and you guys, the back end is yours to do what you will. I mean, you have-

I wasn't aware it existed. Well, yeah, I mean, there's a cumulative total of 25 points, and you guys have one point. And you can do whatever you want with your point. I assume you split it 60-40 between Hayes gets 60, you get 40, I would imagine.

That's been it so far, yeah. But I would give up that point to Asif over here if I were you. I give him my 40. I would totally give that. I Asif over here if I were you. I give him my 40. I would totally give that. I've been listening the whole time. I'm glad he agrees to it. That's nice for us.

Asif, how much of their point do you want? They have one point? They have one point, and they have 100% of one point. I have 60 points of that point, though. And you have the other 40. So then I'll take the other 20. Okay, can I be totally honest? A lot of my point I gave to Engineer Cody.

Oh, no. So he's not here today, but Sam the Engineer is here. He's reading a book or something. Did he take his point and fly the coop? He said he was just going to look at it. Yeah, and I haven't seen him since. That was about a month ago. I knew if you guys gave him a point i told you you guys give the help a point they're gonna take that point

they're gonna go fly off to hawaii or something you know how he leaves the recording in the middle every single time he was to go take a dump or something we've come to that conclusion as well this time he never he never came back oh no he took. This time he never came back. Oh, no. He took the point and he never came back. Can we do something that we always like to do and we have a guest who's never been on an Earwolf show before? This is, and Scott, the fact that you're here. Slightly uncomfortable.

And so normally we would tell all the other Earwolf hosts to get down and suck on these. Get all the way down there, yeah. But since you are here, we are still going to do that. And so we invite – and it's just like a thing. What does this mean? Get down and suck on these? It doesn't matter what – it doesn't mean anything specific. It's like sort of a broad catch-all term.

I don't like the fact that you guys are doing that to newcomers. I mean, Asif, I want you to be welcomed with open arms. I would love for you to be on our bigger shows. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, jeez. Okay. I got very emotional there.

You get emotional. I'm talking about Spont. Bigger shows like Spont. I'm talking about Spont. Oh, God. Well, Scott was like holding a pixie stick very close to his mouth. Oh, God. When I think about Spont, I get really emotional, guys. Well, Scott was like holding a pixie stick very close to his mouth. When I think about Spot, I get really emotional, guys.

It's a great show. I would like to be on the bigger show. I would love for you to be on it. So I don't like the fact that you guys are asking newcomers to Earwolf to what now? No, the newcomers stay straight up and their mouths are at rest. We tell all the shows who haven't had this good guest that we were able to get, hey, that show, you gotta get down there and suck on these. And one way we might say it is we'd go, like,

you talking you two to me? More like, we talking to Mond V and you gotta go take a pee. Suck on D. I don't like this. Something like that. That's very uncomfortable for Asif here. I don't know. And Asif then has to do the pledge, which is I.

I just have to do it? Yeah. I. Okay. All right. I. Asif. So far, so good.

Asif. Never be on Earwolf Show after this one again. Whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. No. No. No. I don't know about Utah. Whoa. Wait a minute. No, no, no.

I don't know about you. Is that why Pauly Shore has not been on my show yet? That's right, yes. I made him promise to call me a homo live on air. And you have to do that as well, Asif. That's the end of the pledge. My entire purpose of being on this show was to get into the, what is it, Earwolf? Yeah, to get in.

Earwolf family. Yeah, to put your foot in the door. Yes. To put my foot as a word. You know the name and everything. We're technically Earwolf adjacent. Is it Earwool or Earwolf? That's actually a great question.

Well, yes, because there's what it should be and what it is. Well, that brings up an interesting question to me. Because Earwool is a thing. It's Earwolf or... Earwolf is not a thing.

Well, it's a, I mean, it's a trademarked copyright. Right, but I'm just saying like Earwool. a thing. It's Earwolf. Earwolf is not a thing. Well, I mean, it's a trademarked copyright. Right, but I'm just saying, like, Earwool. Yeah, that's how you make them warm. I think Earwolf is as much of a thing as Earwool is a thing. I've never seen an Earwolf. I don't know. Earwool makes me think of earmuffs, which makes me think of old school. Right.

Do you remember that movie? Oh, man, I love that movie. Oh, yes. Yes. So Vince Vaughn was on top. He was working at some kind of speaker store or something. This is pre-True Detective. Speaker City.

Mm-hmm. Speaker City, right. And I just remember laughing. I have a shirt. And so if I hear earwool, it just makes me crack up thinking about some of those moments. Right. See, it's already funny. Earwool. Yeah. But this brings up a- So Right. See, it's already funny. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. But this brings up a- It's so cold when it hits your lips, Scott. Mm-hmm. You're my boy, Blue. Thank you. It brings up a question to me. What is this wolf cool I've been hearing about? Oh, yes.

That's our own shingle. It's a shingle. Yes. You guys don't have a shingle. It's offshore. No, there's no shingle. You can't control it. It's on Catalina Island.

Mm-hmm. The money goes there. It comes back. That's part of the United it. It's on Catalina Island. The money goes there. It comes back. That's part of the United States. It's nice and clean. Crystal clear. Catalina, it's part of California. It's still under the jurisdiction of the laws there.

But it's off the shore. You have to agree with that. It's off the shore of Catalina Island. It's like 10 steps into the water. It's on a little boat where we did a flying fish tour. No, 10 steps off of the shore there, you're still bound by the water. It's on a little boat where we did a flying fish tour. No, ten steps off the shore there, you're still bound by the laws. I

realized that when I took a jet ski out there, drunk, and I got arrested. I'm sorry to shock you like that. I just had a certain image of you as a businessman. Well, I was wearing a suit. I was wearing a business suit. Sort of a CAA type suit.

Anyway, no, you guys are not on Wolf Cool. You're part of Earwolf. I'm sorry about this. They're part of Earwolf. I was gone for a little while. No, that's okay. They're the red-headed stepchildren of Earwolf here. Wolf Cool is a hot shingle

with all the best new stuff. And a lot of the new shows that have launched have been out of there that have heat. And it's located on a small boat off Catalina Island with a big spotlight that makes the flying fish come out of the water at night. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. And the spotlight also can cook the fish if you put it really close. So it's like a hot spotlight? It's like a heat lamp? No, I mean it just gets – if you leave it on for a long it's like a hot spotlight? It's like a heat lamp?

If you leave it on for a long time, it gets pretty hot. It takes a long time, yeah. Is the spotlight under the water or is it down on top of the water? Pointing off the side of the boat. Off the side of the boat, great. But it gets hotter if you splash water on it. Let's get into a couple negotiation points. Last time you were

good to us. You did get rid of, by the way, a conversation with Jeff Garland, which is one of our... That was one of your sticking points. Last time you were good to us. You did get rid of by the way a conversation with Jeff Garland which is one of our That was one of your sticking points and we got rid of that. You got rid of Jeff which was the side conversation. We made him say that he was taking time

off to do his television show. What is it? Meet the Garlands? What is it called? Oh right. That 80s show. Yeah that 80s show. The sequel to that 70s show. What is it? Meet the Garlands? What is it called? Oh, right. That 80s show? Yeah, that 80s show, yeah. The sequel to that 70s show. Can I just say, by the way, this is the worst fucking interview I've ever done.

We're still interviewing you. I really... It's not a bad interview of me. This is embarrassing. How come John left? How come he left? Is he gone now? Because you left? It was because I wasn't on the show as much as I used to be.

Yeah. And I think he got really sad. Scared. Just sad. He didn't have the support system. Terrified. He didn't know. Like, it was, you could tell that he wasn't being.

He'd throw to you, and they'd cut away. Yeah. He'd go to my office and he would just open the door and knock and open the door and there'd be nobody in there. It's kind of an emperor has no clothes situation with him, right? No, not really. Where it's just like without Asif, who am I? What do I? I have nothing.

It was more just the guy who I – He leaned on me a lot for emotional support. Do you spell office A-A-F-I-S? Sometimes. They should say that. That's not a bad idea for a sitcom starring you, though. The Office? The Office. The Office, that's true.

Is that the show that we're carving out for you? The Wolf Cool Show. Earwool. Big opportunity. Earwool big opportunity okay it's a separate you i'll allow you a separate shingle not these guys awesome hayes's funny question reminds me of one i have uh probably a lot of bad jokes have been made about your name sort of being as if right but like what are some of the good ones you've heard um i consider all of them good yes you know i don't i i've never had a problem with any of those um you know uh slightly racist yeah yeah that's the very name yeah i've always

been really game about it so that's been do you believe them to be slightly racist because the very idea that your name is different is pointing out something right well it's just the it's just the idea that because somebody has a name that you're not familiar with, you can therefore sort of bastardize it and turn it into a – Yeah, something different. But like I said, I have been super into it and super game about it because I – I mean it could just be an incredible need I have for white people to like me. And why not play ball? And I feel like we've seen that.

Yeah. You know, play ball. We've seen the guy who's like, hey, don't make fun of my name. You know, boring. You want to try and assimilate. Yeah, exactly. Just play ball and let the white people give you things like shows. You know, when white people make fun of you, I'm always like, go with it.

Thank you. At least they're giving you attention. Yes. And that's what I always have. That's been my kind of... And that brings me back to John and the attention that he gave me. John's right.

Let me ask you a question, Reed John. Right, yes. And let's say it really loudly. A couple years into your time on the show, you're on top correspondent. Jessica Williams, Jason Jones, Wyatt Cenac, they're chewing on your dust.

You go into John's office and you say, it's time to work out new terms. Terms, new terms. I need to be paying Asif Mandvi a little bit more money. Yes. Which is the same terms I a little bit more money. Yes. Which is the same terms I think we can negotiate here. Great. I would go into

John's office and say, I would speak in the third person because I did. You guys have never tried that before. It helps. If you go into a negotiation and say, Asif Mandvi would like some more money. Then immediately he does, it's kind of like a smoke and mirrors

thing like he doesn't then it's as if you are your agent yeah i would know how to respond to you yeah you'd be like wait oh i love us if i don't want to like i don't want you know so right you could try that why don't you try right now yeah well we okay uh tell you what why don't you sean why don't you speak in the third person, and Hayes, you speak in the fourth person. Okay. Okay? Yeah, that's... The fourth person is time. Yeah, exactly. It's like the fourth dimension. Yeah.

So if you could speak from the future, that would be great. Asif Manvi wants more money. Done. He's a great talent. I want to keep him around, of course. Hayes got a bunch of money from Scott. He's very happy. He got Spont. Wait, I a bunch of money from Scott. He's very happy. He got Spont.

Wait, I gave you Spont? Yes. You own Spont now. I would never give you Spont. You did. Well, I'm just telling you about the future. Me and Asif own Spont now. Yeah.

I don't know what that is, but I love it. Oh, you'd be perfect for it. You'd be great. I would love to have you on Spont. I'm on it. I'm on it. Paul F. Tompkins podcast, it's so many more listeners than this one. I'm on it. Great.

I've already been on it because I'm now on it. Now you're speaking from the fourth person. I'm fifth person. Whoa! Yeah. I don't even know what that is. I used to be on that thing and then I'm not on it anymore. The fifth person's like WikiLeaks or something. Wow. I'm so over it because I've been there, done that

with the Spongebob. Boring. Well, I was so over it because I've been there, done that with the spot. Yeah, boring. Well, that was successful. You got us more money. We're so great for this show. That was a great negotiation tactic. Yes. And now,

on to the boys. Mm-hmm. Time for the boys. And Hayes, quickly, would you want to tell one other podcast to suck on these? Yes. It's weird for some of the ones that are all girls yeah that's i wouldn't suggest doing that don't do that you're not going to do this to cry babies

or well please don't it's weird because omfg was recording just before we came in here and i shook their hands and stuff so And I shouldn't do... We had such a nice interaction. I shouldn't tell them to get down and suck on OMFDs. I shouldn't have done that. Please don't. Now I'm in the future and I'm saying that was a mistake. Right. In retrospect.

I'd do it to their face if you're going to do it? Well, that's sort of what I'm describing. Oh, God. Now, this has been pretty seamless so far. Asif, the brink of what? The brink of love. Oh. Now I'm watching.

That's the brink. Now I'm watching. That's the brink. I mean, that's the big misdirect on the show, which is that you think that the show is about the world coming to the brink. Very quickly. Scott, can I have my own trailer? Yeah. You mean like a movie?

Wait, wait. Like a movie trailer? Yes. Oh, sorry. Asif Man think, wait, wait. Like a movie trailer? Yeah. Yes, oh sorry. Asif Manvi wants his own trailer. Double wide. Yeah, you can have actually like a trailer like a vehicle. A teaser.

Yeah. No, no, no. You can have a teaser trailer. Teaser, yes. I'll give you one teaser trailer that's 15 seconds long that's just like you shrouded in darkness and then suddenly the light comes up on you and you're like guess who's back and then hollywood handbook yeah and there wasn't a first movie so yeah so well it's for the podcast yeah back again uh-huh so i'll give you that a full-on full-on yeah to to hang out just you know like a zone, just to hang out in between podcasts that you do for us.

Great. I'm okay with that, guys. So when this wraps, you'll have about probably just showbiz, hurry up and wait. You'll have like four hours, and then we'll start Spont up, and then you'll have just like another five-hour period where you just kind of like hurry up and waiting. And then we'll do CBB after that. Okay. Yeah, it'll be great.

All right. We'll set it up however you like. Sean's trying to let Sean drink water for a second, please. Yeah it up however you like. Can we let Sean drink water for a second? Can we hear you drink water? I gotta get in on this. He makes it sound and look very good. Oh, yes.

Nice. I'm worried about people having an emergency pee in the car. From the water. Oh, yeah. If you're listening to this on your way to work, please don't pee in your car. If you please have a Gatorade bottle with you. That would cripple our industry, by the way. That's the only bottle that works because of the wide mouth.

Oh, come on. Oh, come on, Scott. I'm saying that would cripple our industry if we found out that podcasts created peeing in cars. This whole industry would be shut down, so please don't do that. I think we're good. I just read an article about how big we are.

That's a great idea for a show, peeing in cars with comedians. Hey. There's another one for you. I got four of them. You have more great ideas in 15 minutes than these guys have had in 100 episodes.

Yeah. Like I said, we don't want any celebration of the 100 episodes. It's stupid. It's dumb. It's just every other day. It's the same. Yeah, to us it's all about maintaining the same quality as the other 99. Who had the million dollar arm?

Well, I would say. Was it John? I was going to say John Hamm had the million dollar arm. He did. His arm is worth a million dollars. He's the one who endorsed that million dollar check that he got. He did. At the start of filming.

He did. And then the 15 million one he got at the end of filming, right? Is that what he got? You know for a fact that's what he got? Yeah, he's a good buddy of mine. And he actually, we play poker together, and he bet it at one point. The entire check that he got? The entire check, yeah.

He was like, I don't even need this. Yeah, well, he was like, I know I have this good hand. I know it. And he was betting against us just like everything we had in our pockets, but it was his million-dollar arm check. Yeah. But he got it. And it was $15 million.

It was $15 million, but he got it. It was two aces. He got it. Speaking of $15 million, how's Howl going, and when do we see that? You guys are on Howl. Good. Your guys' listenership should listen on Howl to get you more money. Well, and if you want to hear the first negotiation, go ahead and subscribe to Howl.

It's the only way to hear the first negotiation that we did, and it's older. See, this is what we're doing. Per your specifications, Scott, all our episodes now are in reference to an episode from more than a couple months ago. That they're going to want to hear before. Previous guests we talk about will happen last time. Thank you. I asked you to do that, so thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that.

And this episode is Hal exclusive, of course. It's not. No, you can listen to it right now. I mean, it will be in about half a year, but you guys are not paying attention to us. I'm in the future. You remember I'm in the future, Scott. Right. about half a year. But you guys are not paying attention to Ossip here. You remember, I'm in the future. Right. That's true.

You guys are not paying attention. You have a great guest here. You're talking to me. Talk to Ossip here. I was gone again. Yeah. What do you think of Howl, Ossip? Don't ask him about Earwolf stuff.

Ask him about... He's not interested. That's all I know. He's not interested. Ask him about his own career Do I own it now? Do I own part of Howl? You have one point on

The worst Or not worst But least popular show Least popular Yes Least listens It's about Worst popular for sure

Worst popular Worst popular Things are about to change I think on that On that Well you're on now I'm expecting I'm on now

I think I can get A lot of my not celebrity friends just my regular friends who are not celebrities but who want to be celebrities who want to be are you that down to earth

you still have regular friends I have I keep a lot of regular friends wow what are their names from what you know they just have normal names.

Like what? Those two cricketers? Yeah. From Million Dollar Rocks? Yeah, the two cricketers, the two Indian kids. Oh, were they in that movie? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah.

Yeah, they're my regular friends. But they were in that movie. They're like regular people. They're regular people, you know? Wait, so are some of your regular friends also movie stars? Yeah. Because they're regular people? Yeah. To you, they're like regular people. They're regular people. Wait, so are some of your regular friends also movie stars? Yeah. Because they're regular people? To you, they're regular because...

I'm regular. You're regular. I'm regular and they're regular. Everyone I know is regular. So who are your friends then? Just basically those two guys. Oh. Mostly just other Indian people.

That's a tight crew. Sounds like a good posse. It's just me and like other sort of mid-level Indian celebrities. Love to a tight crew. Sounds like a good posse. It's just me and other mid-level Indian celebrities. Love to be in that bull sesh. Yeah, it's kind of awesome. It's just, you know, it's like we're all kind of awesome.

Kind of awesome. A-A-S-N-Y-U-N. You're being racist again, Hayes. Come on, man. Do people sometimes ask you about Slumdog Millionaire by accident when they're trying to think of Million Dollar Arm and isn't it good that we're not doing that? Yes.

They asked me about Slumdog Millionaire which, you know, I don't mind. Again, I go with it because I'm really into all that stuff. That movie was popular, too. If you can get some runoff pee from that movie. If they can confuse Million Dollar Outslum, which made a lot more money. Some runoff pinto.

And won Oscars. Then I'm cool with it. Some runoff pinto. I often get mistaken for Dev Patel. And that is okay with me. It's okay with me. Yeah. Or Cal.

The snooze room. Skins, original skins. Maybe that's what your me. Or cow. The snooze room. Skins, original skins. Maybe that's what your show could be called, the snooze room. The snooze room. I like snooze. And is it snooze like the tobacco that we used to advertise for one week? It's not like that.

Well, you guys stopped, but we've continued to advertise as much as we can. Because it was never about the money for us. It was about the snooze. They're slowly consuming more and more of the show, like mouth cancer. Have you tried calling it maybe snooze? With an apostrophe? A glottal.

Is that a glottal? Snooze. Oh, yeah. How do you do that? Snooze. I'm forgetting my Eliza Skinner. How do you write down a glottal sound, that oh yeah how do you I'm forgetting my Eliza Skinner how do you write down a glottal sound

do you recall from your acting days I think it's just you just put an apostrophe oh right I'm a podcaster now

so I'm not an actor anymore so that's what talking to an actor exactly so I think rather than snooze which is confusing because it can be

confused for snooze and you don't want that because that's kind of a sleepy downer. Yeah, it is. You might want to consider a snooze. Wonderful glottal stop there. Snooze. You are a trained actor.

You're an amazing talent. Thank you. Thank you. What's your ultimate role? Let's just talk about that. What is your ultimate role? The role you want to play someday. Is it Shakespeare?

Is it Mamet? Is it modern? Is it classical? I will say this question, this is our guest, and so one question equals one point. Sorry, this won't count against you guys' time. This episode will be five extra minutes. By the way, this is an episode of Comedy Bang Bang

in the middle of you guys' show. Is that okay? That seems fair. That seems like it would be great extra minutes. By the way, this is an episode of Comedy Bang Bang in the middle of you guys' show. Is that okay? That seems fair. That seems like it would be great for us. Okay, good. So this five minutes of your show will have 200,000 listeners instead of the 2,000 that you guys can have. Okay, great. What is your ultimate role?

What do you want to do? I think that if I... Again, I feel like you're asking me a serious question. I am. As an actor and you want to do? I think that if I, I mean, again, I feel like you're asking me a serious question. I am. So I'm going to answer as an actor

and, you know, as a legitimate, somebody who's trained in the theater and all that. And I think that I would like to play Edo Annie. Edo Annie from Oklahoma.

From Oklahoma. You're just a girl who can't say no. I'm just a girl who can't say no. I love that non-traditional casting. It would be

non-traditional casting because they've never had an Indian person play that role before. I'm talking about the woman part. An old-fashioned slut. An old-fashioned slut. I think that is one of her songs. Is that what appeals about the role to you? Just to be that slutty?

To just be that loose? Yeah, slutty and loose. Just free and wear a petticoat. Just getting destroyed by cowboys. Where you have to, back in the day, you just had and wear a petticoat. Just getting destroyed by cowboys. Where you have to, back in the day, you just had to casually allude

to getting just torn. Yeah, just absolutely demolished. And we'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang. All right, guys. Hopefully that worked out for you.

Little gift I could give you for your hundredth. It's all I can do. Yeah, well, great. And so that, is that what they do on Comedy Bang Bang? Yeah, well, great. And so that, is that what they do on Comedy Bang Bang? Yeah, that's part and parcel of our show.

That's exactly what, if you've never listened to Comedy Bang Bang before, it's just straight interview show, just where we ask about people's careers. What their dream role is. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. I thought it was a bunch of games and shit. You guys, I mean, you were on once.

Is that what we did? No, we were kind of bummed. We had been ready to play some weird games. Yeah, we had a lot of stuff prepared for the riddle and stuff. Yeah, we had riddle ideas. Yeah, well, you know, sorry about that, but you guys kind of, sorry,

I took it into a different direction. All right, so. Yeah, awesome. Back to awesome here. Friggin' dude, just like what is next? At this point, you know. Right. Start it up.

I mean, you know, it's whatever. Here's the thing. What I want to say about next is that whatever, it comes like this, and I'm just going to say it. What happens is that when you, so I've come this, now I'm here, and then i've so what it would be a tribute to i feel like i could definitely make something out of that yeah that's good yeah i'd be excited about doing that yeah so what i mean what is it what does a guy

like you do uh you have to say now back our comedy bang back no no this is this is total hollywood handbook style question here yeah what does a guy like you do to not have fun that's a good question um i you know again here's the thing with me it's i i don't even that sort of way of thinking doesn't even register with me because I'm all about fun. I'm all about having fun. I will take every moment and make it and extract the most fun out of it. Fun or funny? Which one is a better word for you?

One is longer. Yeah. And I like – I think so. And that for me feels fun. You're fun from your knees up. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what that means.

Add a knee to fun and that's you. It feels fun. It feels fun, whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. I'll go with funny because it's a longer word. I don't know. Why did I do it?

How? At what point did you know you were funny? Was it in the womb? And if so, does that mean you believe life begins at conception um i you know i don't think that um life begins ever no i think really yeah i think it's just you know we so you believe i've had some ladies get off during when they're having a baby. They get off? Yeah. You mean like finish off? Like it causes some sort of an orgasm?

Yeah. I heard if you don't have an orgasm when you conceive, you have it when the baby comes out. Yeah, it just gets held over. Wait, there's an actual orgasm that happens when a woman is having a baby? Yeah. Is that incest? Is that incestuous? It sort of is, yeah, because the baby caused the orgasm.

Because you're kind of having an orgasm that is instigated by your child? I think 75%— You're having sex with your baby in a way. Is that weird? That's kind of incest? Yeah, 75% of births are incestuous, I read. Yeah. Yeah.

That didn't happen with my mom. She was mad at me. Really? Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. And you've been makeup for it ever since? Yeah, well, she's gone. Please, mommy, will you have an orgasm?

Always following her, asking her that. Do you believe, Asif, that life actually, when you're born, it ends? And that we are truly the walking dead? What is life? I mean, you know, how do you define it? I that we are truly the walking dead. What is life? I mean, you know, how do you define it? I don't know how you define it. Backwards, it's like evil. I don't know, right?

That's right. And file, if you mix up the words. Yeah, or elf-i. Elf-i, file. Getting into a creepy territory here. And maybe we back out a little. You just rearrange the words back into what they were. Just the Walking Dead stuff.

And I can feel the mummy stuff coming. And so maybe we get into a more positive area. Oh, sure. That is the natural. Kind of freak our listeners' beans a little bit. It's good to cut it off right before the mummy stuff. Yes. And you can sort of sense that they're near.

And then there's probably something we get into about mummies having an orgasm. Oh, no. We don't want to. That's a good call. Let's bring it back into positivity. And how much more episodes can we get out of this, Scott? So you're asking me, you want to negotiate to do more episodes? Yeah.

Okay. For certain things, we want a TV in our room. You want a TV in your room at home? No, in our room here. Oh. So the recording studio that we all use, you want a television in here. Look, I told you guys in one of our previous negotiations, it costs us about $500 to have you guys do every episode, and you have not recouped that.

Some cost. It costs $500 to do. Just to be here for the rent, for the pay the salary, for the equipment, the hosting fees, the, you know, just every episode of every show costs about $500.

And you've had 100 episodes now. You know how much money that is? That's $50,000. $50,000. And how much money have we seen in advertising for you guys? I haven't crunched the numbers in a little bit. Now, what were they the last time you crunched them? The old numbers that I ran? Yeah. It was low. I think an ad costs 75 bucks and we've had like four. Now, Scott, to build your business model on say someone building a skyscraper in Dubai and hiring

slaves essentially from Bangladesh to... That's not how I run a business, but yeah, go on. To build a skyscraper and saying, okay, well, you'll pay a certain amount for lodging. And then with your salary, you can sort of make that money back. Is that what inspired you? Or was it sharecropping? You guys are not paying the $500. We're paying the $500. Right.

But we're also not able to send money home to our families. That's your choice. I hate it. Is there much more of this that I have to sit through? Yeah, how much more does... Hold on, let me see. When do we start? Oh, I got a text message.

Why are you bringing up your calculator app? A while ago. Why are you bringing up your calculator app? There's an algorithm Hayes and I use to know if an interview is going well. No, I have the... This doesn't look good. I'm already tapped into that. We're in the red.

That's some beautiful mind shit. You just did it in your head. I just did it already. Yeah. I didn't need the app. What's the verdict? Like your character in The Internship. Yes.

He's good at math. Oh, boy. Yeah. Remember the Professor X joke from the trailer? You're a skillful interviewer, by the way. You were a skillful intern-shipper. Because the wedding crashers are back. Right.

Now, did they really think that's Professor X in that wheelchair? They did. They did. Oh, God. And they were just rolling the cameras hoping to get something? That was not supposed to be in the movie. Wow. That was an outtake.

That was like a prank. We were waiting for action. I love these stories. Vince and Owen were just like, oh, this is a cool campus. Let's walk around and check it out because they'd never been to school. It was a location scout, essentially. And they were just basically looking and then they freaked out when they thought that it was Professor Xavier. And then Professor X pointed at the cameras and said, gotcha, bitch.

Yeah. He was very confused because he was a student there. He was a student. And so he complained to the film crew. Oh, wow. Because he was an old man. He was old. And he was, I'm like, I'm studying here.

And then I'm being harassed by movie stars. He's like, I'm going to night school during the day. Yeah. crew oh wow because he was an old man he was old and he was i'm like i'm studying here and then i'm being harassed by that should have been movie stars he's like i'm going to night school during the day yeah exactly so that was a good catch yeah that but it stayed in the movie and it's one of those it's one of those iconic film moments one of those things that i've always said um you know film as a filmmaker myself i've always said film everything just yes you never know what you're sleeping even everyone's sleeping you brought going to the toilet making your own films i'm gonna get this wrong rosewater rosewater is my movie that i made about um about iraq yes and the war in iraq and freedom the whole concept of what that was like.

You dudes love getting high. I do. Oh, so badass. Can I guess what was it like? Was it cool? What was what? What was the point of the film? You said you were showing what it was like.

It was pretty cool? It was cool and it was hot there. It was very hot. That's what i meant so it was mostly about like how hot it was and how people people don't know they don't know like they talk about the war and they're like oh should we have gone in should we have not gone in but what people don't talk about is how fucking hot it is yeah speaking of waking up off uh screen backstage backstage on Internship, did Vince Vaughn ever tell you the truth about 9-11? He did. He often did.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sometimes seems like cutting in, like when you come in on a shot at Internship, he's just finished talking about jet fuel. Open fire can't melt steel. There were a couple of times that I would be taking a nap in the cooling tent because it's also very hot in Atlanta because we shot it. It's like the Iraq of the United States.

It is. And I would be sleeping and then I would be jarred awake. And he would just always be getting right to the end of the story about what happened at 9-11. And then he'd be like, and that's what happened. And you don't want to say, oh, go back. And then you'd be embarrassed. And then I would be like, I've got to stay awake. And then the next time he would do it again.

Excuse me, Mr. Vaughn, I was napping during your story. Could you back up? I heard the story three times. He hates it. And all I ever caught was like the last 10 seconds of it. Well, it's all out there. Google, Tower 7, Bilderberg Group, USS Liberty, Reichstag. I mean, it's all

you know, it's pretty, you know. VinceVon.com. Yeah, it's just well, Project for the New American Century. Yeah, sure. Little thing Tank Bush put together. What are we doing here, Scott? We move. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Just looking at the products, we move. Yeah. Casper mattress, we move. Razor, Harry's. Has anyone. Funny cards. Have you converted any listeners to actually getting a mattress? The mattress has been a sticking point.

We're not saying that there are sticking points on the mattress, by the way. Most of our listeners have. Unless you want that. Most of our listeners have either a Murphy or a Trundle bed. It's either got to be in their wall, in their one-bedroom studio, or it actually slides out from beneath their parents' bed in a sort of drawer. And their parents don't know that they're there. What is it about your listeners that that is the case?

Because I've seen your numbers. 99%. Murphy bed or trundle bed. It's crazy. I think Casper, I don't know that they can accommodate that yet. And fingers crossed, it's coming in the new year. Well, then maybe snooze is the right word then in that case. Snooze?

Snooze. But for Cards Against Humanity, we had a lot of people go to the store, open the pack of cards in the store, copy down what they said on their own set of cards. And then they bought a set of blank playing cards, which are more expensive than the game Cards Against Humanity. Yes. Yeah. But we manufacture those. Yes. Okay.

You guys, look, I want merch for you guys. We have not seen that we've been able to sell any kind of merch. We would have enough numbers to justify. I guess it would require. Why don't we start here, though? Blank playing cards. Okay. Hollywood handbook, blank playing cards.

Wolfgul brand playing cards. Not Wolfgul. Now, do the playing cards, are they just, they have faces of celebrities on them? They could, I guess. Yeah, I mean, on the back. Hollywood types, or is it just playing? Yeah, it's like a king. Yeah, so who's the king of Hollywood right now?

Who would be the king? Christoph Waltz, the king. Christoph Waltz, that's good. I like that. Who's the king of Hollywood to you? Who's the queen of Hollywood to you? It's Christoph, and who's his lady? Yeah, who's he get to marry?

And be thrown by his side. Great question. And I know the answer, but I want to hear it from you. You do know the answer? Is there a correct answer? Or are we just brainstorming a business idea right now? Farrah Fork, Alex from Wings. Alex from Wings, right?

Is that who? That 90s TV show, Wings? Yes. That 90s show is a different. That 90s show is coming out soon. Why didn't they do that 90s show? They did that 70s show. They did that 80s show.

I think Fresh Off the Boat is that. Here's a problem I have speaking of these decade things. The same people loved the 70s, the 80s, and the 90s VH1? You didn't get some people that loved the 70s and a new crop to love the 80s? Yeah, what if Michael Ian Black was like, sorry guys, I just love the 80s. He loves that. I don that love the 70s and a new crop to love the 80s? Yeah, what if Michael Ian Black was like, sorry, guys, I just love the 80s. He loves that. I don't love the 90s. He loves it as much as the 90s.

He's arguing for his favorite decade against being like, no, no, no. What if he was on I Love the 90s and he was like, oh, this is terrible. That's cool. It's just like you see the one guy loving the 70s, then the guy who loves the 80s comes in and he's like like, Oh no, I'm going to let you finish, but the 80s was the best decade of all time. That's good. Did you ever do one of those, Asif, one of those shows? I love the 80s. No, I never, on those VH1 things.

Yeah, yeah. Pop-up things where they, like, yeah. That's a miss. Lonnie Anderson could be the queen. The queen. Whoa, such a beautiful lady. Sorry, Farrah. You'll be the six or something. Such a dynamic woman. Sorry, Farrah. Right? You'll be the six or something.

Such a dynamic woman. Have you seen her recently? Oh, Lonnie? Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, so just talking of the 80s. I've seen her, but only as a blur because she's so dynamic. She's always on the move.

Yeah. A lot of people don't know that she can walk 65 miles an hour. Is that? Mm-hmm. I think you're talking about a cheetah. Well, she took the powers of Stroker Ace's race car when she did that movie

and transferred themselves to herself. Transferred those powers to herself. I don't think that's possible. Well, you know.

To do. I think you're talking about a cat. Let's stop before we start talking about the Joker of Hollywood because obviously.

Yeah. then this is the topic we don't necessarily, because you know. Well, it's also, you know, the Joker of Hollywood we all know is Academy Award winner. Heath. No, not Heath. The new Joker. Lito.

Yeah, Lito. And just talking about it. Cause you know, playing that role can sort of infect your personality and make you very scary and want to do bad chaotic acts. And so Ken talking about Joker and if you say it too much, he bursts through the door and injects toxin. My greatest fear is that I'll embrace chaos for its own sake. And I feel that I'm always

just... At the precipice? Oh yes, on the brink of doing it. That's for you. Back around to the brink. What time is that? Skillful, skillfully done. That's a great question. What time is that show on? It was on. It's now just you can watch it at

your leisure on HBO Go. I prefer to do that. You know what I mean? Like why have these shows that are on at specific times? Just watch everything at your leisure. You know? Like why watch everything on the go? I like watching in the morning.

Sit down. Relax. Wakes me up. Wakes me up in the morning. It's my coffee. Is it like your alarm clock? Do you set your TV to be your alarm clock so that it wakes you up with the brink? Previously on

the brink. Okay, I'm ready. That's a friggin' bomb! Let's start the week! Cancel the cold shower. I'm up. I gotta try that. I gotta try that. You're saying that you embrace... What's your the brink, though?

Everyone else gets the brink to wake them up in the morning, but what's that for you? What gets you up every day? What stops you from hitting the snooze button? And I just brought it up. Yes, nicely. I like how this is all tying back together. Now it's an interview.

Yeah, now it's real. Firing on one cylinder. I just have my iTunes, you know, just Joan Baez in the morning. I'm pulling out old references. When I say goodbye at the end of the show, I'm going to say Baez. Baez. And that will be awesome. And then you guys will kiss twice.

So many callbacks. Is it almost too many? Yes. It's going to push me over the edge. How's the algorithm? Are we in the black? Oh, yes. We're just touching.

Well, it's turned green. Does that mean it's for money? It's sick. It means it's ill. That means it's not working. Let me pour some medicine in. I don't think you're supposed to put water on your iPhone. Oh, no.

You really did pour some water on his phone. Why did you pour water on your phone? That was a visual gag that you did on a podcast. Sam, if he does a dangerous bit like that, you're going to want to take a picture. Sam, what book are you reading today? That was a wasted bit. What book are you reading today?

I'm not reading a book. Okay. Also, happy 100th.? Not reading a book. Okay. Also, Happy 100th. I could have guessed that. Thanks. Look at this guy. Yeah, not really the book type. You were saying earlier that you were embracing chaos theory.

No, no, chaos theory. Not chaos theory. That's very different. Listen to Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park 2. That is why I poured water on my phone to see which way the drop would go. Yeah, that's what I thought. Maybe you're trying to see. But you were embracing chaos, you said.

Yes. Well, I fear that I'll embrace chaos. You fear that you will. Chaos for its own sake and that I'll just desire to watch the world burn like Mr. Leto. He's demented. He's damaged. He's damaged. Like his like Mr. Leto. He's demented. He's damaged. He's damaged. Like his tattoo says.

His tattoos. Is he playing the new Joker? Tattoos? Oh, Asif, if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and avoid it. Yes, he's playing the new Joker. Oh, Jared? The image.

I wish the other Jared was playing the Joker. Yeah, I was going down that road as well yes Jared from Subway you know what I mean he's truly demented and that's what you need in a Joker imagine him with a white face

and green hair and we don't like to say by the way whether the stuff he did was good we don't take a stance it's not that kind of show wasn't he having sex with underage whether the stuff he did was good, bad. We don't take a stance. What we will say is I read it. It's not that kind of show. Wait, wait. Wasn't he having sex with underage?

Yes, he was doing that. I'm willing to say that this is the fact of what he did. It's illegal. It's against the law. Should it be? You're not willing to say if it's good or bad. It's not that kind of show. This show just doesn't take a position.

It doesn't say that. We're certainly not saying it's good. You're like Jay Leno on The Tonight Show. Is he a Republican? Is he a Democrat? We're trying to have fun. We talk about show business. It's not... We don't want to get into these debates. That said, he is

on commercials. He is a celebrity. He does commercials, which is a part of show business. Sure. Yes. Absolutely. He has a showbiz personality. This might freak you, Bean. I read an article saying, how come everybody's so mad at Cosby and not as mad at Cosby

and not as mad at Jared? Because Jared, he said he was guilty and he was going to prison. Because he's white. Because he's white. That's why. Yeah, that's the article. Because he's young.

So, yes. It's an ageist thing. It's because he's so young. It's because he's young. He's young and people are like, oh, he's a young guy. Yeah. Which is weird that he got in trouble for trying to do it with other young guys because he's so young.

Was it guys or was it girls? Was it guys or was it girls? Come on. We don't like to get into these debates. We don't distinguish between that stuff. I think it's more wrong if it's a girl. But I think it's more wrong if you're an old black man. I don't know about that.

I think that's what we're saying. That is a position I am willing to take. Do you mean like Bagger Vance's dad? No, talk about Bagger Vance's dad. Never mind. He was barely touched upon in the film, but clearly had an influence. Big part of the backstory.

And it was sort of implied that he's magical, and so why does he have a dad? That's true. It's like he's born of magic. From a spell. Well, that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have a dad. I think you're leaping to a conclusion that is not necessarily... Speak on that. Well, I am. That's what I just did.

I'd like you to. And furthermore, that's my position on that thank you guys so much for coming on the show Scott what did Asif

what did you get paid per episode on the Brink oh a lot yeah that's your rate now a lot are you offer only

when I negotiate A-A-F-E-R I always say and like I said I say in third person That's your rate now? A lot Are you offer only? When I negotiate I always say And like I said, I say in third person Asif Manvi would like a lot And then you can add more If you want to You can try it

Asif Manvi would like a lot more Tempt me with more That's what I think is the negotiation strategy Where are you on the call sheet? What number? I'm not sure I'm on there. Is that why your name begins with two A's so you go first? Yes, I go first, alphabetical.

Well, as we all know, the call sheet is by list of importance. So where are you? What are you, two, three? I don't think I've seen a call. You have to say it. I've never looked at your call. Do you just show up? I just show up. They just tell me. You have to say it. I've never looked at your call. Do you just show up? I just show up.

They just tell me. That's disorganized. It is not organized. I will say that. It's basically, it's chaotic. Uh-oh. Hello. That's starting to juice me up.

You look really juiced. You look juiced. That is getting me starting to get juiced hearing you say that. Do you mind sitting back down? No call sheets on a mind sitting back down no call cheats on a set there's no call sheets you just show up basically when you want and then they just shoot whatever they shoot whatever is there that they're the you know a lot of it is improvised yeah there's no real script actually i'm getting pumped right So, remember that song?

I don't, but that's... Oh, okay. Who does that one? It's... What is it? Get out. We're not allowed to. Sorry.

We got in trouble for doing the songs. Yeah, too long. The licensing thing. We got in trouble for doing the songs. Yeah, too long. The licensing thing. At this point, they're just noises. I feel like you just made a lot of noises. You did not actually sing a song. That wasn't a song. Oh, no.

You definitely heard this. I hate you. No, I didn't do that. I did. Varooms. And. Yeah. That's true.

I hate you. Call 911. Right. Yeah. It's similar to having I feel like having a seizure oh yes well would that be the ultimate chaotic act everybody listen to Hollywood Handbook again next week we're coming back and we're always good could you please please show

up again it's Facebook it's on the iTunes web. And don't also forget to watch Asif and his movies. And Scott. Go on the forum. Send us money in the mail. Do it. Cash tags.

And I love you. Did we ever finish your negotiation? Oh, right. You guys can continue to do your show for free okay and we'll continue to pay for it

you did say that we would make more money at some point doesn't that imply that we've been paid in the past that's a good point you can make some money

if people listen to your show on how if we start inviting people to the office can we get part of the door you mean the physical door yes like the doorknob if we just start saying when

the court is yeah you you guys uh i i like you i i oh whoa whoa whoa i'm uncomfortable the minute you the minute that you hear i like your, it means you've lost the negotiation. You have now failed. I'm a fan. I like you. I'm a fan. These are all very bad things to hear. You are a drain on our pocketbooks here, if I may be kind.

Well, that's honest. That's honest. And the fact that you continue to have a show baffles, you know, the bean counters. Well, it's supposed to get less popular for two years from when you start, from your initial episode numbers, which were great. Right, right. And then a couple years later, it starts to go back up again. Stain power. A couple years later, it starts to go back up again.

Stain power. James Caan gives a great speech in Way of the Gun about how when you see a grizzled old man broken down, the one thing you can know about him is that he's a survivor. And that's how I like to think of our podcast. Rent Way of the Gun. It's probably on Amazon. Or Howl. Yeah, Way of the Gun is on Howl.

Christopher McQuarrie's debut film. Yeah, the director of the current Mission Impossible. Stopped it from being a director for like 15 years.

Yeah. Great film. Sarah Silverman in the opening scene. She's an Earwolf favorite. So yeah, check that out on Howl. Sweet.

Yeah. Great. Bye. Bye. Sorry, he said bye as this is it this has been

an earwolf media production executive producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman for more information visit earwolf.com earwolf radio

boom dot com EarwolfRadio.com The wolf dead.