Hollywood Handbook - Adam McKay, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

The Boys help ADAM MCKAY make his next big movie.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Hollywood Handbook live in Los Angeles April 17th at the Dynasty Typewriter!Click for ticketsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast you okay yeah i'm uh let's just do the show because i'm you sure yeah i'm good i'm good i'm happy that we have adam and we have a good guest and i get i mean the guest is really exciting yeah um and despite like any personal stuff going on on timing wise it's not the best for me to have a good guest today but I don't care I'm just excited to do the show we can talk about it or not

I do think it's either either talk about it we have a little bit of a personal thing going on we are so excited to have you but we have a little bit of personal stuff I want to talk to you but I don't know if I'll be able to engage with you with what has been going on. We are so excited to have you, but we have a little bit of personal stuff. I want to talk to you, but I don't know if I'll be able to engage with you with what has been going on for me, which is some

heavy stuff. If I could just talk about it and just clear the air, you probably feel that. I think the best way to go is like, talk about it, get it out. I'll sit here and like, just get it out. I don't know if you want me to try you want well he's a creative

no i mean maybe you can give your opinion like so i um i was working today on a script uh you've i'm sure you had plenty of those experiences um and uh in a collaborative i have a boss you know i do have a boss who's sort of the final say on what goes in, what doesn't. And we were working on a scene where a gentleman was in very good physical condition. And I thought that a character could say in reference to him, get a load of Benicio del Torso over here. Okay.

That was what my boss said as well. That's sort of interesting that exact sound like a and then i like you know uh so but we're all professionals i mean you're throwing out yeah joke ideas which is what you're hired to do so where so maybe you threw one out i don't know how you feel about that joke but i think objectively it's not the strongest joke so it didn't land right so what's the problem yeah no uh no that's what i was gonna say um that uh that that i don't think the joke was strong and and i agreed with my boss um i guess my issue was that then when i pitched guillermo del torso that that also uh was met with a it's like what and at that point what do

you at some point like what do you like what is it that you're oh you know so you felt like you hit like that's as good as you can give that's as good as it gets that was the spectrum i feel like of jokes that you could do um from more niche to like super accessible uh use of the word torso inside of a person's name and so i i guess i just don't know like at that point i'm like not exactly sure what my job is uh if that's not gonna be what we do um at least shoot it you know what i mean shoot it like at some point it doesn't have to like maybe it's not like cover it get coverage just shoot it a couple different angles and don't shoot any alts you know because if sometimes if you shoot alts that undercuts the original the crew will laugh

because it's like fresh and they haven't heard it but get you know get six or seven i mean the big i'm a big fan of like why not not shoot alts, especially for jokes. But in that case, I mean, that's really just a pun. It's also an odd choice of actor. It's not a guy. He's very talented. Because they're like not the whitest guy. I mean, like, I don't, I think that's good.

No, no, no, no. I actually think they might even be white. Well, he's also not a guy you think of as being in shape. I don't think he's doing anything big. That's the torso. That's what the torso is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Well, you know, hey, look, sometimes your best ideas, if that's how you view it, they're not going to get across. And it sounds like you're going you do a rough day at work

tough day at work yeah but let's you know this isn't about me right this is about you this is your episode um you know everybody kind of only gets one episode of the show that's theirs um i've had mine and now this will be yours so you were saying before we started like you're well it seems like you're resentful that i'm the guest on this episode am i reading into it no i don't you know i don't that's not like we've hosted like i i've been in this place too where it's like we've hosted literally every single one of these yeah and all we do on every single episode is give and it's like okay at some point i don't i don't have to be here i mean like that's a strange kind of position for a whole like you're you guys are literally hosting the show and to resent

the focus being on a guest just seems like that's problematic for us even going forward like i'm not even upset like maybe i should just go like and let you guys work this out you know what i mean like it's weird to go on a show and say the host be like oh i guess you're gonna talk now like well yeah well i think it's, in this case, it could actually be helpful for Sean to have a project. It's kind of... Okay. No, and so the focus, in my mind,

is actually never really on the host or on the guest. It's on the work. Like, the focus is on the work. I don't understand what that means. I mean, it is a show you're hosting. I'm a guest. Okay. Yeah.

So what do you want it to be? And I wonder if this is sort of at the core of the whole thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Where it's like, and the whole thing, we're talking about your career today. Yeah. Right?

We were talking about it right before the show, and it sounded like some of the, you said there are good issues okay i mean i'll i'll forge ahead if you're oh i mean that's what i was i mean i thought i was doing let's just do it yeah or hazel can do it or you can do it yeah yeah i'll be realistic you know i'll be honest because the only way to make something better is to look at the parts of it that are working and the parts that aren't. And if I look back at my career, which I love to look back at my career. Anyone who's had dinner with me knows I'll get a far off look. I always say, let's start at the beginning.

off look oh you know i always say like you know let's start at the beginning uh in this case i'll just say i've had some high highs and i've had some low lows the two high highs were i got to co-write a marvel movie and co-write what's co-write in this case is it a quarter right you quarter wrote that ant man the original ant man uh i was a writer on right i don't know what was a wasp in that one wasp pops up in the end which is the end all right that was i think the issue with that one that they corrected in the later ones the wasp yeah yeah yeah and then the other high high i had i feel like you're tearing down my high high a little bit. No, no, no. I love the introduction of Wasp. Yeah.

I mean, that's a funny way to frame the whole movie. It was sort of the origin of Ant-Man and then Wasp was introduced as well. Okay. But anyway, the other high I was Talladega Nights. Yes. Pretty nice chunk of Brie from that one yeah and and a lot of box office big playability across all the quadrants i think did a rewatchables about it maybe oh i didn't know he's thinking about it i think i think it's on the list it's on his wish list literally getting

yeah i'm blushing right now. That's cool. That's cool. I'm not even going to humble on that one. That's just awesome. Wow. Can you imagine telling yourself, like, when you were like a little guy? Talking to young Adam, like little Adam, and going like, hey, one day Bill Simmons is going to do a rewatch. He's thinking about it.

He hasn't done it. But you're telling your young self, I don't want to commit Bill to this because he's got a lot. Well, now the second we're done with this, I'm going to Google it and see if that happened or it's being discussed. That would be awesome. So anyway, I have these two great experiences. Yeah. Talladega Nights, Ant-Man. Ant-Man and then a lot of stuff that you know I for lack of a better way to frame it where I kind of lost brand consciousness um and uh and it was yeah and so I I'm here I know you guys are very

good at what you do and I'm open I want to get back on track i want to get my brand back on track i want to i want to you know focus my brand it's time to go to the optician we should i think we should be allowed to like start like talking is that okay we should get in there just like oh i i didn't know if i talked too much i was trying to set up my dilemma, my problem. It just depends on if you want us to be able to, it was the right amount for, um,

like introducing the idea. And then like, I'd love to hear, I know from Hayes and then I was going to, um, ideally say something as well. I mean, I couldn't just,

so I should say nothing at this part. I mean, you guys, you were making a whole thing about how like we're the hosts and like you're the guest on the show and I guess just like consciousness of that seems to have also in addition to the brand consciousness I think consciousness of the host guest dynamic has also yeah that's what that means in terms of like my time or whatever. Okay, sure, sure. So when I see your stuff, especially the later stuff, I sit there in the theater and I say, like, we're all whispering in the theater.

He's all around it. He's so close. He's so close to the thing, you know? And we're getting, like, you're bringing the audience closer together in a really positive way yes by all of us being like he like we're pulling for you to get there and it's it's like it's like oh this idea was just one idea away from what the movie should yeah and so um i think and when you say people in the theater whispering uh like how how many people if you're in a theater hopefully it's fairly full hundred people like like you can hear the whispering i will you talk about your theater experience because mine was different

yeah so it was a hundred people oh okay so basically what happened was in order to bring more people into the theater they they sort of like they took down a wall so that people just like passing through on the concourse like you know in the in the eye like lobby of the movie theater would just like be able to enter more easily because they were worried that that was an issue with like getting people in the seats that there were two new walls you guys have been around the block i mean you know it's show business which we all know keep that in mind you gotta fill the seats like look i want to you know i'd love to make an artful film like Stand By Me or St. Elmo's Fire or whatever. I'm not thinking of a great list.

But you get the idea. We all love to make, you know, art, theoretically. No, those are not commercial films. But at a certain point, you got to fill seats. So we've done screenings where part of it's the movie. Part of it is traffic safety school we've done screenings where the dmv is full so the part of waiting for the dmv is you go and sit in a theater and the movie happens to be playing we've done giveaways in outside dodgers stadium and the parking lot

we've so it's all cars like like car car related yeah because it is it's traffic school it's dmv or it's a parking lot parking lot so it is it's yeah we had our movie uh the big short was actually used as uh one of those prove you're not a robot tests and people you know would say i am not a robot you click on it and then you have to watch the big short yeah watch the whole movie to prove you're not a robot find the in this grid yeah and there was a fire hydrant in the back of that scene with christian bale okay and so click on max i i'm not my hands are empty and up in the air. We're trying to get butts in seats. We're trying to get eyes on content.

That's the name of my production company, by the way. Eyes on content. Eyes on content. Yeah. And so, you know, we're really oriented towards clear, definitional brand content. And I'm here to tell you, think we we lost our way a little bit can i say can i say something i've noticed please you you've done these films and they i guess are about the news but they feel a little dated some of the news that when you do it by the

time you do it it's actually kind of old the movie comes out the news has happened so long ago and what we were thinking about doing today was to try to let's talk about the specifics because like big short was like a million years ago what by the time it came out i was like sort of like trying to move on in a way you know what i mean i think we're all trying to move forward from that to relive some of that when i was like sort of like trying to move on in a way you know what i mean i think we're all trying to move forward from that to relive some of that when i was like it was a bummer just ended and it's all done yeah with with veep i was kind of like can i live please when you did v please can i stop being it's not the movie's vice vice vice another note that i have yeah yeah uh and don't look up but you know like and i got what it was about without tell me what the climate change stuff but like that was

both like about something like a billion years ago ever and it's like and it's also way in the future and i'm kind of trying to live you know what i and I'm kind of trying to live. You know what I mean? I'm kind of trying to live in the present and do mindfulness. Something we talk about is getting in between those. You know, really getting in between those. I mean, it's not a bad point. I mean, originally, Vice was about Russia annexing Crimea, because that was in the news. i was yelling good yeah i was yelling at the studio we got to make this now let's go yes you know my dp get the lighting done and then in the middle of it it's like putin got crimea it's over and we're like can i curse well the fact the fact that we could do that one didn't

see your vision is yeah and i know you i was about to curse am i allowed to curse oh please yeah no sound off so i told the studio i was like cunt yeah we gotta do something here and i was like what about dick cheney people didn't talk about him a lot and that administration in the iraq war in the studio was like no absolutely yeah yeah i almost said no when just now when you were just yeah i felt and then i was like what if it's a fictional vice president and he's a little bit funny and they were like just do it because the crimean annexation is over yeah i'm already watching the news and now it's about uh you know the democrats and republicans they're kind of back and forth in dc and who's got the votes and i was like shit we missed i was like yeah i was like robot cunt. The time has passed us by.

I'm allowed to curse. You can curse. No, you can say robot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. That always comes up. You got that one on succession, right?

I feel like they said that at the last episode, right? Yeah. Well, they were making fun of me just because I got that. I got that. Yeah. I think they said, they said goblin shark cunt okay was the phrase they use yeah and so anyway so you guys are the headline you're not wrong the headline is headlines yeah the headline is headline so adam our feeling was that's cool what you i'd like to

evaporate the delta really between the news happening and us watching a movie about it so that we can't get in between those and so what i thought we could do is pull up some headlines you get on the horn let's cast these things let's make movies that are actually about what's happening right now and not about something from fucking like six years ago yeah yeah that nobody even gives a shit who remembers like climate in the future like yeah i just can't wrap my arms around it like three years in the future yeah i get it i get it it's not mindful of that no it's before we get too far from it i'm wondering talking about brand consciousness instead of eyes on content if

we're if we could maybe take a look at eyes odd eyes odd yeah eyes odd yeah because that's revenue get the that's reverend revenue is it's a resilient it's a resilient brand too if you look isn't it historically it's been with us hasn't it i tell my daughter uh through some physical limitations used to struggle quite a bit at soccer and i would always tell her when she would be out there and she say dad can i please not do this because of my hip dysplasia? I would say, you're going to do it like that little alligator on the Izod shirt that I'm wearing. And because they went through the preppy thing,

they went through hip hop, that is one little resilient brand. And if you're out there on the pitch, top to bottom, not even wearing a soccer uniform, no one's really noticing how you're playing. You know what I mean? I don't understand. You mean the field? Yeah. Sorry. Yes.

Oh my god. Yeah. No. I'm sort of a footy. I don't really do American sports. I do. I don't know what footy means. I don't get the reference. That's the field. That's what we call the field. We call the ball a soccer ball.

It's not American. You don't really make movies about that kind of stuff. Okay. It's crazy, but he talks like this all the time. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon, the boys record another memorable pro version, and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Plus, see Hollywood Handbook live in Los Angeles April 17th at the Dynasty Typewriter.

Check out all these shows and the video of Sean and Hayes in today's episode at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones. Hollywood Handbookbook Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready to eat meals. Every fresh, never frozen meal is chef crafted, dietitian approved, ready to go in just two minutes.

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They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. And I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger? Because it looks like an emergency. I know I'm supposed to do something. Or how about those people that stand in the street? They're kind of like, they've got almost like police clothes on.

It may be police. Almost, yeah. And they're standing in the middle, and as I'm driving and I'm cruising, they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out I'm like am I supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as I'm going that's what I've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners I I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible,

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um this is a this is a mindy project this is a mindy project do we know if she's amenable to uh you know creating the ip in yeah that'd be great because this this a lot of ideas are sparking and shooting around do i die i want to respect it once again i don't want to say host gas because you guys weren't crazy about that but should i talk first i want to let you kind of get your get your sillies out at least, you know, and like. Just shoot off. You know, tire yourself out a little bit and then like, yes, go, go, go, go. Well, all right.

Real quick. So you guys know, I think we all love it when a beloved commercial becomes a TV show. Yes. It's awesome. Yes. It's awesome. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. It's, it's awesome yes it's awesome yes yes yes yeah it's it's you're at home you're watching these commercials like guy oh you know god damn that's funny that is fucking yes funny why is this fucking two hours long like why yeah yeah

boom guess what the geico lizard yeah is uh has just moved because geico fired him and he wants to get back in geico's good graces he did something i don't know he you know uh he's a lizard so maybe he ate i don't know he did something screwed up he he thought he was gonna die and crapped himself and offended everyone in the workplace ate like a pet bug like the boss yeah and now he's living by an army base and it is loud he's stress eating he doesn't have a job he's trying to create an apparel line he's trying to become an influencer he's doing all the things this great new economy we have provides for people, and it ain't going great. So guess who he meets? Another bug like the one he ate.

But this bug's got ideas, and these are damn good ideas. So he's not going to eat them. They're going to work together. Okay. I don't know so i don't know i don't know i what i love what i love about it is that the headline is part of it yes because that to me was so strong when i read it i'm every almost every part of it the eating the eating the army stress the army base the noisy air lizard and you got specific about the lizard yes and you know what the bug's name is what tommy torso tommy torso so that works in your mind so for you tommy torso is okay torso is what do you mean just like i'm just trying to figure it out

so okay go ahead tommy la torso like tommy latour so like tommy yeah yeah tommy i guess that's sort of sort of okay yeah um yeah yeah that that's where i think we're like where we're going astray here is i think what where we always start and for you, this is really exciting, is casting. Casting. So when I see this lizard, I went to the same place you did Geico Lizard. Geico Lizard butt. Geico Lizard butt. The good reverend is preaching again.

Reverend revenue. Yes. But the thing is, when they do make Caveman into a TV show, they don't keep the Caveman and nobody knows. They let him audition, but it's like, okay, thanks. They grab Nick. Thanks for coming in. They get Kroll.

So the Geico lizard, I'm going, who should it be? Because it's not going to be the same guy. It's not going to be the same guy. I can't put that on the poster. Do you want to say, do you have someone in your head? I wonder if the same person popped into our head. I'll think about it. Let's say it at the same time.

Do you want to try one, two, three? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, one, two, three. Adam Sandler. Wait, what? Did you say Tim Duncan? I said Tim Duncan, yes. I don't know if you

don't think you can cast him. I've seen your other movies. You seem to be able to cast him. Pretty much anybody. If that's an issue I can speak to, I'm already talking to Mindy, but I can speak to him as well. That's a problem. He's pretty much the greatest power forward in the history of the NBA. No, I don't think he's gettable.

I just don't. I mean, it's Tim Duncan. He's not playing anymore. Yeah, but he's still busy being Tim Duncan every waking second. Adam, if I can, if I can, just really quickly. You're talking about how what you've been doing is not working. It's not. So let's do something different.

These actors are fake. Tim Duncan really played basketball. All right, I don't want. i'm texting my agent right he's in he's in duncan is in dunk he's in amazing you guys were right he's sitting around doing nothing and he would love it my agent just says are you sure about that? I could perhaps get Antonio McDyess. Okay. Should we take a beat here? I wonder if they're worried about it from a budget issue. I love having to drive Duncan down to go, hey, we got McDyess,

and he's going to do it for basically peanuts. And also, Duncan, I think, probably has like four inches on McDyess, I'm guessing, which if we're having Duncan play a lizard, then the entire rest of the set is going to have to be huge. It has to be so huge. We're going to have to build an army base that is actually like, God, like 50 to 1 scale, right? Yeah.

Compared to the size of the Geico lizard. I mean, just think about the plane that has to fly over his house, let alone the house he has to live in to look small so you're thinking undersized power forward i mean because grant williams for the celtics you know they're finishing out the playoffs but he's a six what seven power forward i don't know i got lost i got lost yeah um i don't know. I got lost. I got lost. Get me back. I don't know. I'm worried that his shooting has fallen off a little bit. You know?

And what's it going to be like? He had a moment. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But he's more of a chemistry guy. I mean, it's kind of him and Marcus Smart sort of. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, we got Duncan. That's it. We have Duncan. Duncan's in, yeah. And here's what I wonder. I wonder if we put out the feelers publicly, go to deadline, and say we're considering McDyess and Grant Williams for this role. So Duncan really steps in.

He puts the pressure on his guys. And potentially even starts stress eating. All right. I just heard mcdice my agent is adamant will not use a person of antonio mcdice's caliber as a stalking horse he won't play that game he respects mcdice too much i guess let me scroll down. I guess McDyess just did Long Day's Journey into Night. Okay. At the Hartford Dinner Theater and just people were floored.

He doesn't want to go for something that's kind of funny. Chris Birdman Anderson? I mean, would your agent be comfortable with exploring that? Let me try. Ooh, quick no. No. That was quick. That was fast. Okay. That's making me try oh quick no no that was quick that was fine yeah that's making me nervous quick no he he just floated he says god sham god for the bug i don't know who that

is i like basketball but i've never heard of god sham god but he said god sham god for the bug question mark and then he did an emoji. I think he hit the wrong emoji button. It's the emoji throwing up. It looks like throwing up money or something. I don't know what that means. Yeah, that's what that means. Yeah, that's green. Yeah, that's actually you.

It's eating, like sucking up money from the ground. It's not going anywhere. But anyway, I don't know who god sham god is okay um so but we have duncan and we have the buck we have yes and we and we potentially tommy tommy latourso the italian beagle-nosed a lovable italian older italian man who uh is good at knowing when to put in a pinch runner or switch out a player for fielding purposes and we have the army of course will be willing to like finance almost the entire project i guess just well i think we just it's like really small it's just a couple mentions

like when the planes are going by they're waking up in the middle of the night that he'll be like upset that he's not getting enough sleep he'll be upset that he has to stress eat but he'll also be saying but it's worth it because they're keeping our country they're keeping our country safe yeah they they're going to rescue that they're going to fly the planes into the thai cave and we we should say for the purposes of the movie that that's how they got the kids out of that cave the u.s that's good they flew the army flew like jets their jets in there yeah and they were able to do an extra action mission what about that geico voice by tim duncan says when the planes and tanks go by can you believe we only give those those proud men 800 billion dollars

a year for the pentagon budget that's criminal yeah and one holiday yeah do you believe there's only one veterans day because that's the real insurance policy what i'm handing out is funny money because the real insurance is nobody's gonna fuck with us as long as that's kind of cool that's kind of cool so that that that's interesting to me i have a feeling that we're struggling a little bit with this one um there's been some like cool ideas but i think casting a bug casting a lizard has put us in a hole and i wonder if we should look at a new story instead that involves people you're so good at working with real people with with the veep guy and with that um i mean guys the real guys i just told my wife the other day i've had enough of real people i'm all about

claymation and animation but honestly what she said you know what she said to me have you looked at your star meter lately because i don't think you have a choice and i i couldn't disagree and i i went back to talking to her about my memories in the biz but that thought stayed with me for the rest of our dinner i'm liking your wife in this story yeah i think she and i have a lot in common because i i agree that the star meter is making me sick oh yeah we kevin do we have any we have another no lizard no? We do. This one says, watch weekend update co-hosts get pranked on SNL. That's a piece of news. And this was in the news?

This was a top news story. What outlet was that? The Economist? That was... Just say The Economist. The Economist. Okay, thank you, Kevin. It was The the economist you know like let's have a feel okay that's funny i don't know what to do with that because i just love when people get pranked i obviously worked at sarah at law and they were doing a lot of pranks

during the show right oh my god we everyone you had to watch your back. Let me just say that because there was always the funniest person from their high school class pulling a prank on you. Like, Lorne one day, this is a really funny story. It's a little long. How are we doing on time? I'm sorry. How are we doing on time? For a Lorne story, I got all of a good night, man.

All right. It's long. It's long. Sorry. Sorry. This story is a little long, this Lorne Michaels story, but we're good on time. I've told it before and I timed it. It's 47 minutes.

Okay. Is there anything that can be trimmed or you need all of it? I hate to, you know what? Let's just not tell it. Let's not tell it. Let's not put it on Lauren stories. We can,

you can like, we can. Yeah. The punchline is, I mean, it's a long story and it's not going to be as good, but Hey, Hey everyone,

let's start putting the pranks on the page. Anyway, that was the last line of the story. Okay, yes. I can imagine. Yeah. So it's Jost. It's Che, right? Yeah.

Do we want to? I'm thinking casting. Do we want to start there this time? Sure. Sure. Okay. I'll let you guys start with the casting because I kind of got us in trouble on the last one. Missed a little bit.

Okay. Ready? Do you have something going? For Joe's? Yes. Okay. One, two, three. Doug Emhoff.

Ron Perlman. You said Seth Meyers? Yeah. But I was panicking. I mean, I don't know why I said that. If you think you can get him, Adam, do you have any relationship with Doug? I said Ron Perlman. What did you say?

You said Seth Meyers? And then what was the third one? Sean said Seth Meyers. I said Doug Emhoff. Who's Doug Emhoff? Okay. So, again, this is like with the current, like, really trying to keep track of current events here. You know what I mean?

Doug Emhoff is one of the most powerful men in the world. He is the second gentleman of the United States. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. And sort of a trailblazer in that way we'd like to kind of keep track of like historic event you know like smart when people are smart really doing something no one's ever done before like kind of making a difference yeah when they're pushing forward the conversation around like as creatives we like to celebrate inclusivity and just yeah uh boy i like I like the Doug M. Hoff.

And you know what the real telltale sign was? I didn't know him by name, and I'm ashamed. But that's how you know he's doing his job. Yeah, but you know, like, I think there's an educational component to the idea of casting him. Because, like, guess what, what folks the gender roles that you thought were always normal and i'm guilty of that what happens when they're flipped and what happens when emhoff is playing colin yost so maybe we can have doug emhoff come on screen and we can pull a page from the big short and we can cut away Doug Emhoff first appears on screen as as Colin Yokes and then we cut to Nelly Furtado

she's just finished a performance so now the kids are like super hot right now holy shit it's fucking nelly furtado's in this movie now now i'm watching yep and she's like hey wondering who that was that's the second gentleman of the united states doug emhoff uh he was willing to give up his schedule his time to appear in this movie to come film this movie and to play colin colin yoles yeah yeah to play colin yoles yeah i think that's good i mean that really tells people like sit your ass in that seat because because someone made a sacrifice for you and so i think that that's a a way to like bring them in and have people feel special at the movies again. I love it. I miss those days.

That's the whole thing. Yeah. And not to sound like an older guy, but I remember when you would put on a suit and tie and you would have one of the horse carriages that give the tours around Central Park. Handsome cat. Take you to the movie theater. Yeah. And it really meant something and yes the usher would turn away certain people that he and it was always a he i'm not saying that's right but the usher would turn

away certain people he didn't like the looks of yeah same and uh and this is chunky ip i mean oh very good colin uh colin yome like shay like this is good stuff and the ip is like meat lasagna it's bolognese ip um so i i mean i know this is an exercise for your show no it's all content i mean it's always it's it's always available like to to transition immediately from the show into some sort of firm that's happened financially yeah that's happened with us yeah and i wonder if as we're marinating on this we can kind of get ahead of a cultural trend that we we've sort of talked about that we're anticipating that like pretty soon it will be understand understood that colin toast is one of the most oppressed people on earth. It is essentially open season on this guy.

You're free to tee off on him at any time. Basically say whatever they want about him and say all these horrible things. And he's not allowed to say anything. He's part of some privileged group, right? And so literally anyone from anywhere can just take a free shot at this guy and and so in the future if we shoot this with an eye on it being kind of like i don't want to say like selma necessarily but like that no but that's the tone of it don't say that no we would never say i don't want no and we didn't but you you kind of

did it it seemed like you wanted to i just said i didn't want to. No, and we didn't. But you kind of did, and it seemed like you wanted to. I just said I didn't want to. No, we'd rather not, but there's not another good time. I would do like Cry Freedom. Like more in that zone where there's a white journalist sort of guiding you through the story of Stephen Biko. Like, so there's a buffer. So, but yes, this could have a cry i guess that would

be jesse david fox from from vulture steady hand at the tail sort of showing you what the journey has been if we can get jdf to me he could also explain some of the jokes that are taking place on we can update prior to the prank i won't watch a movie unless i know which of the characters is me is the audience i just won't do it i my wife knows it like first four minutes like well who am i who's the audience and she's like what she'll say something like you know what do you what do you mean it's like us just just watching and i'll be like nope i'm out i get too unmoored i get like a vertigo that i'm worried is going to become a brain aneurysm which that's not rational but um but it's not a good feeling it's like a dissociative thing where it's just like what am i just like looking at someone else's perspective and if it's

two people in the room talking i'm watching them it's like okay who am i who's the other person that's just sitting here okay now we're looking now a different person is looking at this like where's where'd that person come from where the original person just their story like what like what am i doing in it it doesn't make sense now we're suddenly in a completely different place how do we get here did you guys see everything everywhere all at once which by the way award-winning film love it yeah but my critique was the title everything everywhere all at once and so my wife made me go and like watch that and right away i said what i always said oh who's the audience who am i and yeah and next thing i knew i was walking by the side of the 405 in a hospital gown with no underwear with my you know naked

they take the under and uh that that happened that no i i you know i i had a very similar experience where i walked in they the first frame happened and I went, well, not everything. Not everything everywhere all at once because I don't see me. Right? So if it was everything everywhere all at once. And we talked about inclusivity. It's so funny that sometimes we forget to put me in any of these movies. It wasn't quite you know everything

yeah was it daniel and daniel so i i that was a valid criticism and i i managed to avoid your fate because i did immediately leave and i did ask smart money back yeah i mean show one shot of the someone like me uh brushing down uh their beautiful horse at their malibu ranch and guess what i do i keep watching yeah all of a sudden i don't want a fan for life you know what one shot of me or an arabian stallion and i'm sort of you know cleaning their mane i'm making sure that their rump is shiny and then you know all of a sudden it's like you you've managed to keep the i don't know how much is a movie these days 25 that i paid to get into this fucking thing yeah i mean i might you know i might even check out your next one too if

you just have one shot of me in in therapy with my horse there i'm allowed to take my horse inside the horse is a support animal for me and i if i'm gonna talk about this stuff i'm gonna need my support animal yeah and you just do one shot it's one shot in the movie like or one sequence yeah it's you know 25 frames or something you know i don't know i don't know how many can i can i be a scene all these should be a scene yeah it's like a dollar i just had a movie idea emotional support animal and it's a lovely girl you cast like you find you do a wide talent search okay to get a kid like the kid from over the top like just a beautiful child almost porcelain looking child and she sometimes feels anxiety which i'm told there are people out there that experience that and she needs an emotional support animal but guess what she picks the least likable animal that gives her happiness she picks uh a guy north calgary wolverine as her support animal like a guy yeah that could be me honestly but keep going that's

that's interesting hey i'll bend on that one maybe it's you and everyone's like this is awkward you're a nine-year-old girl hanging out with a writer from hollywood uh who can get a little prickly and she's like it, this, this emotional support animal makes me happy. Although it's a man. And then someone, someone's the audience. Then there's a guy who's just kind of always hanging around, like looking at the camera saying, can you believe this?

So then I feel grounded. Casting on Sean. Do we want to do casting on Sean? Yeah. What do we, who do we think's got the goods to play me? I mean, do we want to do casting on sean yeah what do we who do we think's got the goods to play me i mean do we want to do one two three let's do it one two three we've had success with that one two three michael mark spitz who did you say i said mark spitz olympic swimmer uh five-time gold medal award-winning Olympic swimmer.

He sure does. I see that a little bit. He's got that little lip lettuce for it. He's huge, too. He's huge. He's a legend. Yeah, he's incredible. Incredible athlete.

Who'd you say? I said Michael Dell. Ooh. say i said michael dell and then we can and again like if if we could get some participation from from him also creative not just financial like we we want to hear from him as well on like we want his notes i'm a best idea wins guy and so far i gotta say i think it's mark spitz but okay let's hear the third idea i i had said trey anastasio but you know i i'm as always i'm kind of backing off that i think i just wanted to be a part of saying something on one two three but i didn't really yeah yeah and he's not really an act like he doesn't really act i think that's true you know he's like he's not really an act like he doesn't really act i think that's true you know he's much more

known for music i mean he's a stage performer and so i think he has a presence and um that could be taught obviously his has great vocal control um okay but i but i also you know i'm not married to it he's he's not mark spitz i mean he's just not and even as musicians go i don't know if he's the one who's most known for stage presence and vocal there's so many musicians only noodles as well but i assume that you know that would be part of the he is most known one of the most known for for noodling yeah he's an incredible vocalist we all know that or what do you when you say noodle what do you mean um that he's noodling with his little he plays yeah what's he plays an instrument as well i believe yes i believe so you so yes primarily yeah okay he mostly is known for yes the the

harmonies he's a vocal vocal acrobatics um but i you know he he plays an instrument on some of the songs and maybe he has that with him maybe that's how she you know the little girl finds him as her emotional support animal i was really settling into mark spitz but like i said i'm the best idea wins guy and after hearing trey anastasia like i think it is still mark spitz i really do i can i pitch you a a song a a a moment in the movie and this works for mark spitz or trey so just know that and this is so i'm not ruling anything out but somebody goes except michael though somebody yeah well yeah i'm just saying you are ruling something out. Well, I'm ruling yours out. So someone says to the little girl, like,

boy, this is a strange choice for an emotional support animal. We thought you'd pick an animal, a pet, like a dog, a cat, or maybe you would pick a fish. And then Mark Spitz or Trey goes, well, she kind of did. Oh. I mean, is that insane? If we write it. Is that insane?

They're just talking to the lens. Because either one of them would be. Harry! Harry! Harry! God, I just had a seizure. Oh, wow. Because you've been liking that so much? I think I just had a seizure.

Wow. Wow. Oh, Jesus. So maybe we pull back from that. We don't want to do that to everybody. Yeah, I'm a best idea wins guy, but not if the best idea is going to give people a seizure. Is getting people hurt.

Yeah, exactly. I wonder if we do them all. We pull back from that. We do emotional support animal. The emotional support animal is the Geico gecko. We play out that whole army story, whatever you were doing. We do that as, like, sort of a cold open. I'm starting to feel better.

Even shorter than that. You're cheering me up. And then we take that into emotional support animal. The Geico Gecko is adopted. It's Tim Duncan. Tim Duncan is adopted by this girl who I don't think we kept. Carrie Strug. I think we just, like, it's assumed it's Carrie Strug. I like it. I like it think we kept. Keri Strug? I think we just assumed

it's Keri Strug. I like it. Just quick yes. Quick rapid fire yes. We play this out for a little bit and then we cut to Yost and Che doing within the movie. Did you have them do

in Don't Look Up they're making jokes about what's happening in the movie. You know, did you have them do, uh, and like, don't look up or these, like, you know, like they're making jokes about like what's happening in the movie. You know what I mean? I always do that. Oh, every one of them. That's right. I always have someone say the title and then another character goes,

that sounds familiar. I, yeah, I like that part. It works. That's always one of those parts. Yeah. Yeah.

You can get, yeah, you can get him. The two of them will do it. Fallon will do a little bit. I like that. I feel like Peter Muir will do the news, talking about he's available. He likes doing that stuff.

Anderson, of course. But then instead of going back to the original story, we just stay with Weekend Update. Stay weekend update we stay with peter and all these other movies they go back to the story they show a montage of people making jokes about the big current event that's happening in the movie and then they go back to the big current event it's like wait what's going on with like well i really was enjoying the the newsreel and the jokes and the late night stuff can we just hang out with them yeah i also like it like you just bam you like hammer out with seven eight just you know hard shot off the left field wall jokes and you just leave them laughing. Fun, yes. Fun, yeah, just fun.

Yes. Let's put the long single off the wall. And where it can do the most damage. Yes. Yeah, a single and you're looking hard at trying to get a second before you do kind of a review back. Yeah, but the guy's got a good arm, so you don't. You'll hold up.

You're running hard, you get told, yeah, hang on, hold up, hold up, hold up. Yeah. Made that kind of hollow thumping sound but the left fielder played it well 110 off the bat but yeah just didn't didn't yeah but you had to hold up at first and maybe you even get nailed trying to get back to first well yeah that could be you just you rounded too far if you yeah you went far enough to second that you realize oh wait i'm not gonna make it but when you go back the ball's already on its way to first yeah having to walk back to that old dugout and that's a hit no it is yeah it counts as a hit yeah you

tag the base safe but yeah it's that yeah that could be interesting i think we could write that level of joke and just and just live in that space you know follow them home i like it i like it do you want to like we do since we have it i actually think we do have time for the lauren story if you want to yeah we've got it i mean i know it's long i wasn't expecting to get it that fast so if you just want to like get into the lauren story all right let's do it let's do it i to change positions because last time I told it, like, it was weird. My thigh fell asleep, which is weird because you think the blood goes through the thigh to the calf, but it was just my thigh. And the calf stayed awake. That's so interesting.

That's not good. A big dead pig like that someone took out of a meat locker. It was an uncomfortable feeling. Okay. locker it was a uncomfortable feeling okay um so lauren every day when he gets off that elevator on the 17th floor he has a oh really okay harry's telling me no way okay yeah kevin's telling me we have to go too i guess harry might have supposed to have texted Kevin or something and I just got another text Tim Duncan Tim Duncan floor

for him doing the Geico movie 7.8 million so that may be a no go as well hate to end with a bunch of no's but we might not be able to do to do any of this well thank you

thanks thanks bye bye thanks bye guys Hollywood Handbook that was a hate gum podcast