Hollywood Handbook - Adam Pally, Our Travel Show Friend

Episode Date: September 6, 2022

The Boys welcome back ADAM PALLY to discuss his new show 101 Places to Party Before You Die.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so you know i mean obviously comedy evolves like the our attitudes change it's a good thing it is um but there's something lost uh uh always you know um and with the new means out with the old and so um you know it's i've been kind of banging my head against the wall a little bit trying to find a way no i know but it's like for someone like me who's been doing this for a while and and there's certain things that i know they work um it's just trying to find uh and i know i'll find it but um trying lot of them are not and i uh and again i think that's positive i think society is involving in a positive direction for anyone who's like what what are you talking about listen to what he's saying he knows that

most of them and maybe all of them probably all of them but i are not fine it's not okay no but it is italians italians that's what i was gonna say so that was my first thought too could could be that could be an avenue for me to approach where I can say, okay, here's a group, a sizable group. Everyone has an idea of what this is. And maybe I can, on some level, characterize them in a general

way that could generate comedy. Well, they are very stupid. And so what I like about the Italians... I shouldn't have said italians and i have a um so dumb you know because i have because i have some i almost think it's portions of my stand-up like so set like my comedy routine stupid no i thought it was a great suggestion by you adam and adam hall is here by the way but i thought oh good thing adam was here because he

he's on the ground you know he oh good thing adam was here because he he's on the ground you know he's been doing these travel shows where he meets huge uh you know um groups these swaths of the nation and he does meet these huge italians he does he does interact with them and so he knows like yeah some of the shit they're doing, saying... Actually, Adam, maybe you could be a test audience for this. I have a joke I've been working on about... Oh, no. I don't want to... About the Italian X nation.

Please don't. I think that... Maybe I can just run it by you. It's a joke about a joke about Italians, really. It's sort of this a joke about Italians, really. So it's sort of this meta, like, bird's-eye

view. But you're still making a joke about Italians. Well, we'll see. You tell me if this is okay. Okay. Let's hear it. A man walks into a bar. A blind gentleman

sits down at the bar. He orders a drink, 7 and 7. And as he's drinking it, he starts sort of chatting up. You look, sorry. The bartender, and they have, yeah. Sorry, I just got a, I'm watching Adam. I got, I saw sort of a confused look. And if there's anything you want to go back and...

Was it the 7 and 7? He could order something else. No, no, the 7 and 7 was specific. So I was confused. Because sometimes when you're hearing a joke, you're like, is all this information necessary for where it's going? And that's a comic mind like that is

that is honed to a sharp edge because i don't think a lot of people do absorb all those little details no the drink uh you know not the average to spoil it the drink is not uh ultimately important to the joke so if you want to change it there's something you're more comfortable with what are you drinking these days like what are you um i would say i just don't need a detail then because then i'm focused on the it's like does he need he just walked into a bar that's enough okay this is the mystery this is close-up magic like this is like this is the mystery i actually i mean i don't want to speak for sean but often like that like he wants you to be focusing on right well that's what i was asked yeah oh so that's so that's so it doesn't matter

ultimately for the joke it could be a different red herrings but it has to but it has to be yeah but the specificity the specificity is like i am creating a world for you. You know what I mean? I want the joke to feel lived in. Of course. But like, does that, the question is like, is it distracting from where this is going to go? Well, I like to take the audience on a journey with me, you know? I don't want to just drop them on the punchline.

I don't remember Billy Joel telling me the color of the drapes in Piano Man. But he tells you the colors of the wine. He tells you two different colors of wine. It's a different song. It's a different song. But he does go into the colors of the wine. There's a bottle of red and a bottle of white.

He does say the name of a drink in Piano Man. Yeah. And he talks about a guy making love to it is that not making love to his tonic gin no but no because that story was about the people at the bar but this is a joke this seems to be a joke this seems to be a joke about a specific uh interaction that happened that has nothing to do with the drink and piano man the specific drink that the specific interaction that happened was the guy making love to his tonic and gin but he didn't but he didn't have to be drinking a

tonic and gin i mean that well he did for the rhyme he could have been making love to his seven and seven but it wouldn't have rhymed with the previous one. Well, the joke doesn't rhyme. The joke's not going to rhyme. I don't know. I mean, if you need that to enjoy it, then it may be. No, I don't need any sort of iambic anything for a punchline. I'm just saying.

I just asked the question. Yeah. Okay, great. So this is good. So he'll be drinking a tonic and gin because I kind of know my audience a little bit now and I understand that that's something that helps make you feel comfortable.

So a gentleman walks in the bar. I feel like I'm still thinking about the 7 and 7, though. I feel like I'm in my head. I don't know if I want it back, but I've labeled the guy in my head. Watch this. I got you. Guy walks into a bar.

He's a blind man and he sits down at the bar. See, I forgot he was even blind. I forgot that he was blind. So it was distracting. Because we were talking about, yeah, so super distracting. That, yeah.

Okay, so. Do I need to know he's blind? Do I need to know he's blind? You do. Okay, so, okay. So, can we start again? Yeah. This hotel chair is kind of uncomfortable.

Okay. I don't know if that's going to pay off later. The hotel chair is kind of uncomfortable. Okay. I don't know if that's going to pay off later. I don't know if that's going to pay off later, that the hotel chair was uncomfortable. But I'm just saying now, now that's, yeah, but now that's something that you're going to be thinking about

and the audience is going to be thinking about throughout the rest of our interaction. Well, if I can work it into the, I mean, do you want his bar stool to be uncomfortable? No, again, I'm not asking for that. I'm just saying, look, the guy's blind. He could be shifting around in his seat a little bit. That doesn't take away from it, you know?

No, no. I think a blind guy walks into a bar with no assistance is like the headline. Yeah, he enters the bar and he sits down sits down i mean you want to have a dog i think if i i don't want him to but i would be surprised if he didn't if he's making his way to a bar okay i don't even know what i'm talking about so uh he sits down he orders two drinks he says i'll have a tonic of gin and a seven and seven um one for the dog if you like it too and he kind of for you and he kind of starts to shimmy around in his seat a little bit he says boy are these new

bar stools or something this opens up an avenue of conversation with the bartender who he actually hits it off with. And she's explaining to him that the place was recently refurbished. They're sort of more of like a modern gastropub kind of venue now that used to be a little more divey. And so that's maybe why he's noticing the chairs or the stools rather are different. As they talk, he starts to feel more comfortable and he has another drink or two. And he finally says, you know, I'd love to share with you

something that makes me laugh. It's a joke about Italians. Now, before he can say another word, he feels a hand grip his shoulder. It's the person at the bar sitting next to him. And she says, sir, before you tell this joke, I want you to understand what's happening in the bar around you the woman behind the bar is in fact an italian not only that so the idea is that he's blind if he could see he this woman is visibly italian she's yes everyone in the bar she looks like the pasta queen

what does that mean visibly Italian what does it mean to you no no no I'm not telling the joke well I agree because the idea what wow well i agree because the idea what wow all right oh the chair paid off the chair paid off and that's and and that's a comic mind

um she's she's uh streganona. That's... Yeah. That's who's behind the bar. So, like, yes. So, the woman grabbing this man's arm says, the woman behind the bar is visibly Italian. She's wearing a Kiss Me I'm Italian pin. Her shirt is the Italian flag. And not only that, she's

proud of her heritage and she has a black belt at karate. I myself, sir, am Italian. And while one hand is gripping your shoulder to warn you off of a potential

faux pas, the other hand is wielding a spiked baseball bat. Behind you at the table, there are two Italian best friends, off-duty police officers, each with a loaded weapon on their hip. And of course, at the door that you walk past with your dog is a bouncer

who happens to be Italian as well. So are you sure you want to tell this joke? And the gentleman says, well, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times. Do you get it? Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Do you not get it? No, I get it yeah yeah i get it do you not get it no i get it do you like was the drink an issue or what happened with the no it turns out none of it was an issue it was just um shitty joke okay yeah okay and you feel bad because you had to have it explained to you. It was like your idea, kind of, to tell it.

You were telling it almost immediately when we came on. Well, you suggested that at the area of Italian. I mean, you could plug in. No, I suggested that. Yeah yeah but you could plug in any like it almost feels like the point of the joke is that you could you could take out the word italian and plug in any of the some other examples yeah no no no okay because. Okay. Because that is the point to me is like, what's the right specific these days?

Because it's getting a little bit complicated. And maybe Italian X is not the... You're right. You know, I guess the reason I didn't laugh at the joke is because I was humbled, truly, for even suggesting it, Italians. Yeah, I caught that. Even in a jokey way,

because it was very funny because I didn't know what you were going to be talking about when you came on what i was gonna say or anything yeah and then you you took me by surprise and it made me laugh uh and then i tried to get it on it and i uh just didn't can't keep up so oh i i wouldn't say that you know we have different styles and i i think that's cool i think it's what works like when you do this show like it's this kind of clash of these styles there's hayes's work is really cerebral and i have this it's mathy yeah yes and then i have i'm i'm operating off this like gut instinct and then you have like a bag of tricks.

Like you have like a, I don't know. A set of like moves that you could do that people have seen. And I know we'll get results, but I almost feel like, I guess since I've gotten older, I don't know that it's like, I'm not even that the bag is not really like a bag.

We're not even in the same. We're not even in the same. We're not even in this. Yeah. I was going to say that we're not even shopping at the same store. I don't think, I think, like, I think that I'm just not as quick as you guys.

I'm not as like, I don't think it's about speed. I honestly don't think that any amount of time. Well, I'm not as surprising. I think, you know, I, know i i haven't honestly had the time to work on my comedic chops and i uh it shows because you guys are

like i said lightning fast and but also not working at it it doesn't it doesn't actually like we it seems it one i think anyone heard this conversation. Those two are working extremely hard. No. I think I've lost that drive a little. It's the work where it doesn't look like your work. Yeah, that's right. That's still work. You don't see the work.

But I guess I love it. I think you're selling yourself short as someone who people look at and are like, that person's working very hard. Real pick me vibes from that person i know i know i've looked people look at me and they say that guy's on his grind he's working hard and um that's because i'm out there you know so main character energy yeah main character for sure 100 and i think that it's just i don't i haven't i haven't been behind the in a room in a while you know i don't i certainly don't have faceless writer energy and i am not as quick as you guys i am a step behind in that way i've been out it's like

i've almost been out in front because of my face hearing you talk like this i really don't think you've i hate talking about myself like this and and i think um i have you know for me i'm like if there was some kind of magic comedy powder i could just sprinkle on you right now that would right right provide you with that boost to feel like you are quick like you are kind of popping, you know what I mean? Because that's how I think of you as like a guy who is on fire. Yeah, yeah. And I think even now, sitting here without any of that reference powder,

which I know you yourself would never touch at all. And then you pride yourself on it and you would compare us. It's like looking, I mean like we are just in different leads. It's like looking, it's like looking at a, at a, at a dog and a supermodel.

It's like, you can't expect the supermodel to eat out of a bowl. You know, I wouldn't know what to do. Well, what's she eating, soup? So that would be even harder. You need a spoon. You can't.

It would be harder to eat out of a bowl if it was liquid, I would assume, right? Or I guess, I don't know, maybe easier. The point is that I feel. You don't always use a spoon, huh? I guess so, yeah. But then you get to the bottom of A miso soup, you don't always use a spoon, huh? I guess so, yeah. But then you get to the bottom of the miso soup without the spoon, and you're confused a little, like, how do I get the spinach?

Yeah, you get some on your face. And the tofu into my mouth, and I got to use my chopsticks. But the point is, I feel bad that I even tried to get in the ring with two legit, I mean, mount rushmore of podcasting really truly like when i think about podcasters especially white ones you guys are like the best and i can't it was dumb it was dumb let's just do the interview let's just do an interview let's just talk about yeah let's just talk about my movies or whatever. Because I feel like...

Well, I think this is relevant to the... I wouldn't know what movies to talk about. But the TV show... Doesn't matter. I wouldn't know. Yeah, we can talk about the TV show. You're probably more of an arthouse guy, right? You probably don't see the major fair.

I don't know. If it is arthouse, I don't know what the budget is or i wouldn't imagine what are we talking about like huge budget stuff wouldn't be my guess but yeah i know i would know i would i would say that i'm you're probably you're not gonna catch me in an a24 film so if i didn't come across your desk i apologize even saying it a24 Yeah, it feels like you're not familiar with the... Which is... I'm not. Whatever it is, if there are movies, if there are no movies,

that's all fine. It could be one movie, or you could put an S on, and you could pluralize movies, and regardless, it's not going to change the way I see you, because I haven't seen anything that you've been in. I do know the show. You wrote, Sean, you sean you wrote sean hold on one second his uh and also uh i mean i mean since the last time yeah since the last time because i was gonna say you wrote one i mean a job you held firmly was a writer on a show that i was i was on and then and then i think and then i think we

you were so funny that you you were on the show too you remember that i i don't think that's how most people will characterize my the path to me appearing on the show but um i do remember yeah i remember us working together on the show and it it was, for me, it was a- So you've seen my work. We don't have to. You guys are smart guys. No, I know, I know, but you said, I'm sorry. When you said you could talk about my movies, I assumed you meant that you were, and this is my mistake,

and this is why communication is so important. I thought you meant something you'd done since the last time you were here that we would be that's what i thought about too i'm shocked that i didn't even the fact that we're talking about a show from like 12 years ago or whatever like i i honestly thought when you were talking about like movies and shows and things we were talking about and that's why i was confused i think that's why i was confused and the pandemic look the pandemic has been tough on the entire business and not podcasting, but... Look at our beards. Look at our beards.

Yeah, and so like... I completely lost my mind. There's no... No, for sure. Shame. I wish it would end. I wish it would end. I'm really unhealthy.

In not having worked... I'm at my end with it. Yeah. Well, watching your show, I was sort of like, oh, I guess this guy thinks the pandemic is over, where we actually are still in a global pandemic. Right. No, no. And that's... you know all these people are like going to eat at restaurants every day so it's like okay this is actually killing people when when you do this if

that's if that's something you're comfortable with then that's yeah we all we're all like adapting to this moment in different ways and some people are choosing to do it in a way that like is in service and is damaging people and some people are doing it in a way costing people's like lives and and it's and yeah yeah i mean uh i i just want to say also like because we've been talking a lot about context like you guys asked me to come on this show you asked me to come here yes because the rest you said you said even in the email i believe it said come on come on this show you asked me to come here yes because the rest you said you said even in the email i believe it said come on come on the show talk about your new show yeah so i i i am a little bit like i know i know i shouldn't have jumped in the deep water of

you know comedy writers um or whatever you guys are but i i asked that it's in the past. It's in the past, but I do feel a little bit like you're on the attack. You got your pens out, and they do seem to be mightier than a sword right now. So I guess I want to apologize. Well, I actually don't need to start. You came to us saying that you were inadequate for to like engage with the i am i am there's no way that i could keep up with this light i mean that's the speed sean said already and and i said the speed doesn't matter and there and again i do think that even with additional time we actually mix it would make any difference show and i know that

because like i watched the show and i was a little worried like this is a this format is like quick a travel show format like you're like uh handheld you're on the move like they're not gonna have time to like stop it down for you no and like cut around like some of your shit so i was like right like is he going to be able to create kind of that like in a box that old how that like 12 years ago pally like energy like on this show but ultimately i found like i the the show is working for me because you didn't even try to do that at all it's like super corporate it's like that's working for you that way it's very successful in this way that's very palatable and very um uh it feels like pleasant because it's so

sort of generic and non-specific processed cheese yeah you know what you're getting uh you've had it before and um there's no like nasty surprise waiting for you you know no feel like dangerous at all no we're not trying to i again like i it's just that's just the tone that we wanted to go for we wanted it to be aspirational we're like two nobodies could look at it and be like i could do that you know and clearly we've we've uh done that i'm learning today so i i really appreciate that it's it's special in that way for something that is like oh yeah like so not ambitious uh like so and also so forward in its desire to just like make money to like so yeah i see what you guys are doing i'm not confessional because there's no it's not a there's no shame in it to like go

into restaurants and basically just i'm not gonna do this be eating this food and be like god like this is so awesome when it like obviously fucking sucks well you know i was the first gen x like sellout damage shit do you know that i was the first person ever on hollywood handbook did you know that that was so there's been some confusion about that was jake johnson and we do hear that all the time that that confusion still even now which which i like if you know if i'm you i'm like that's great i'm mandela i have a mandela effect of my i didn't do hollywood handbook you did it i was a second guest that that was blake that was blake yeah where am i in the guest list third maybe four is there some kind of database we can look at on it thanks Kevin

that's right fourth and the meantime is there anything you want to say about the show about this show any show about your I don't watch any podcasts I don't

you don't watch much podcasts. I don't... You don't watch much? That showed up in your show. I watch FIFA. I watch FIFA. Number four. It was number four. So it really set the template, I guess.

Yeah, you were batting cleanup. Right? Bases loaded. We had Jake Johnson, Blake, and then Donald Glover. Got stranded out there. So you started strong and then tailed off to now. When was the last time Donald was on? Let me... We're scheduling conflicts.

Kevin, where is that at? Who's speaking over there? Kevin, are you speaking? Shut the fuck up. Sorry, sir. Thank you. Wait, I had a question for you, Adam. One second!

Fuck! When was the last time Donald was on? I don't have all the numbers. And Jake, how many times has jake been back he's he's he's been back for sure yeah he's how many times how many like what like how many like how many different times i don't know what times means like i can't like how many like answer that like funny bits did he do on the like how many like clips you're telling

you jake johnson how many amazing clips were we able to pull from it no that's not what i asked he's been back and and and honestly when he has come back and we've said thank you for doing this he said anytime so quantify that same thing and, as soon as the show was over, and the first thing he said after the show was over was that was really fun, guys. Yeah. So that was crazy. Oh my God, you guys are nuts.

That was so funny. And who the fuck is Blake? Who is Blake? Blake Anderson. Who? He was back recently, too. The Workaholic guy. Yeah.

He's done. Like, I'm supposed to know Blake from one name? I don't even think of him as the Workaholic guy. Yeah. Blake? Yeah, well, he's on a Hulu show right now. I tried to watch your show on hulu and they said it's not available right now look i truly truly

i would tell i'm never coming back ever to this podcast ever i and this is this is that insecurity again that you don't I hate that Adam I hate that you feel like I always do this and it's the same thing I come in you start joking around I start joking around and then immediately I get insulted

because you guys either haven't seen my movie or you don't like it and you're backhanded complimenting me and I just... Adam, I love movies. This is it. Tell me the movies.

I'm like Donald. I'm looking for your movie. I'm like Donald. I'm just like Donald except I've done this show more times and that's enough. Enough is enough. If it's about me not seeing a movie...

Kevin, do not get close to that mic! I see you think about saying something. Don't even fucking laugh. So annoyed. Kevin. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon, Carl and Hassan draft the fantasy football team,

the boys help the listeners go to sleep on the pro version, and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Adam at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say, like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about.

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It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two? Me walking in my bedroom. What's the second? It's you and your bed?

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money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys i think we i think we've actually identified what the issue is is like we're here going at each other you know you feel like we're here going at each other. You feel like we're insulting you or something. We obviously feel like you don't appreciate the kind of soft landing we try to provide when you do come on the show,

which is of obvious benefit to you. Let me just say, I'm not worried about that, him not being appreciative because I know that's not what this is about. Has Ben Schwartz done the show? Yeah. Someone tweeted at him, do you want to do the show again?

And he was like, yeah, those guys are so funny. He did. He said those guys are so funny. And I can find that tweet. That tweet? We can find it. We can find that tweet. Kevin can find it. Yeah. Because apparently he can do everything,

including talk on a podcast where he's supposed to be a fucking engineer or whatever. A producer. Whatever. Why do producers a fucking podcast? I'm recording on my phone. I'm recording my fucking phone. Good job, Kev.

That is a good job, Kevin, because sometimes people don't record on their phone. I'm recording my fucking phone. Good job, Kev. That is a good job, Kevin, because sometimes people don't record on their phone. We have to use the Zoom audio, and it's always a step down. Thanks, Kevin. I'm just saying, this was on my press junket for today. I have a ton more interviews.

No, I know. You got to get out. They're having you hit it hard, huh? They're worried it's not, the ship isn't sailing on its own i actually think the interest is so high that people are dying to talk to us okay so i have to i have a ton of interviews today that's great and you know i should have known this a lot of my friends are feeling this way you guys are fucking jealous wait okay friends do you have you see that and so let's is that real let's see if this if the guys that are the subject of this tweet would be jealous here's first off one guy says will

you do hollywood handbook again the boys need your joyous wit i don't know what that means okay so this guy this guy's so fucking asshole that we need like we need it yeah it's like this person seems like we'll take it spot on he seems like he's a fan and then he knows and then he knows when you did he knows when you did sonic 2 response oh wait that's the movie you were talking about yeah one of them but probably the one you were talking about what you're talking about like big budget movies super spreaders and of course this is like all in line with i mean like famously the Sonic franchise has killed more people

than all wars put together because it brought any other film it brought people indoors at a time when that was not safe before the beginning of the pandemic and now

you're doing a show that is basically called let's go inside how do you get any on bass in what world is this but wait pull up what he said any sort of journalism thank you whatever you bring me on and then the most honorable profession in the world telling the truth the sonic 2 said first off of course those those those two guys so he knows exactly how many of us there are yes are noticing the show hilarious has nothing to say about fucking kevin hilarious they say they need your joyous wit and i think he's kind of giving this uh poster a bit of a bop on the nose they need me those two guys are hilarious well that's not what he says he says of course of course of course you guys are hilarious yes well right will you do hollywood

hamburg again the boys two separate two separate lines here will you do hollywood again of course your joy is of course those boys need your joyous wit. Those two guys are hilarious. Of course they do. Of course they need my wit. You're not following the order. It's in an order. I don't think, I also think, and I don't think I know,

you could leave that up there as much as you want because there's nothing that I would want more than to be told I'm hilarious i love it and i love it when it comes from other comedians in a public forum almost like uh adam he king made you he can't he king made you he said these guys are my guys that is honestly that's one of the most hilarious things you could say. He said, verified. He said, verified. The idea of the Adam post.

Those two guys, I will say, verified. Now they're safe. The idea that you would need to be told that you have been hilarious in your career before, that's laughable. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's making me mad.

That you need to hear that? That you have done? I like it. I like it. And I know that there's nothing more that you guys love than having your comedy associated so one-to-one with another comedian who shares the exact same sense of humor and point of view as you two. And to me, it's almost a perfect foom right there there so i don't even know why you need me we don't oh sorry you don't you should have schwartz on again you should have schwartz on again where it's well he wants to is it in the visit he said of course he would yeah he's like

he's really desperate to, if you read the thing. They're hilarious. The show... First of all, where are we on 101? Are we committed to that? Yeah, we're doing them all. No, I mean, you are going to do them all? Mm-hmm. And the network knows that?

No. They don't know? Not yet. But they'll think they're going to realize that we got to do them all. But we've done eight. We've done eight. I'm hearing 14. 14 sounds really clean to me.

Good. 14 and out. 14 out of 101 is pretty good. That's a story. And this, like, your first season all put together is almost as long as a movie. Is that the movie you were talking about? Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay.

That's the movie I was talking about. What did I ask for some of your movies? Has Nicole Byard done this podcast? Oh, yeah. oh yeah how many times she also really I am never coming back ever I am never

ever coming back here ever in the digital space in a in person okay well you'd be more comfortable doing our other shows

a new studio together that's yeah fucking sick it's do you see that keyboard on ring

I don't give a fuck Kevin forget I asked what else what else is there anything else that I have to do

we I mean we yeah having you record some new bumpers since you're here just stuff that's a little bit fucking shit it feels like yeah what just because you are so closely associated with the show

and then all right why have shorts to your bumpers it just you and you and it's not as associated with the show just like And then, all right, why have shorts to your bumpers? It just doesn't work. It's not as associated with the show. The concept of bumping is just like. Right, okay. It's a little. And that's so fucked up that you make me feel bad for a drug situation a long time ago. When the two of you sit up there, your or i guess sean's in the flats

you're looking at me like you guys are some like fucking the pope or whatever fuck off both of you okay um so what we need from you is just uh because we do a couple of shows it is go ahead and just say like Hey, thanks for checking out Hollywood Handbook. Be sure to listen to the boys on this week's pro version where they

have a little bit of fun with all kinds of things from movie teasers. You know how long this is? You want me to say all of this? Well, that's just for the pro version. Then we'll do one for flagrant ones where it's like, speaking of shooting hoops. I do one about Formula One sometimes.

Oh, yeah. I've been thinking of doing some more. All right. Are you ready, Kevin? Now I'm ready wait are you still recording on your iPhone you didn't even do anything I need you to record on your iPhone I am I've been recording

the whole time and action do you like shooting free throws well then come listen to Hollywood Handbook. These guys are hilarious. Quote, Ben Schwartz, New York Times. You do like shooting free throws.

You do like shooting free throws. Don't make it a question. It's declarative. Questions are thieves. Yeah. Statements are gifts. You do like shooting free throws listen to the the boys from i have such a problem with that saying questions are thieves such a problem with that well i'm not

gonna i wouldn't steal from you like that um so you're gonna say uh that's for our other show the flagrant ones that we do with Carl. Do you need a last name? Has Carl been on this show? No, I know Carl's art. Has Carl been on this show? Yes. Yeah.

And he likes you guys? He really wants to. He's one of our best friends, yeah. I don't know how, because Carl's a good guy, so I don't know how that happened. I think you're just bringing your's really baggage he's really fast i am not he is he's fat well he is i know he's fast yeah well he's got that gift he can be both out in front of the camera and then also he can he can be where you guys are like in the dark or whatever i just assume the room is dark no because who would want to you guys don't look at each other yeah right the writers the writers the writers because they're ugly

yeah the writers ugly the writers are ugly because otherwise they'd be on camera right maybe and being ugly like being ugly to you is like wrong or something? No, it's just like definitely a harder life. An ugly Italian person is like the worst thing you could possibly be?

It's beautiful. Look, I think what you guys are doing is beautiful. I told you this the last time. I think what you guys are doing... I told you this the last time. I think what you guys are doing is brave. To come out from behind the jokes and now be like, look at me, and everyone can just rip you to shreds. I think that's brave.

I think it would be brave not to do this, man, to try and hold this in. That's the scariest thing i can think of that's what's gonna end up in a room i'm a coward showing up every day i'm too scared to keep this bottled up you show up every day you do this every day you do this probably maybe four days a week we don't release them all but we do it every day oof good use of time this one may not come out i would hope not i would hope not i mean not because for anyone's sake well i wish that it doesn't yes well why don't you wish in one hand and do a podcast in the other and see which one people like i'll just get both i mean the birds

with one stone and say I'm never doing this again is it not enough promo do we need to trade like we do some more promo for your show and then you do a bumper is it like I feel

I said I love the show it's like seeing you and Gabrus. The clips are out of this world. Yes. Some great clips. You guys having fun. You hitting the slopes literally for once.

It's so fucked up. It's so dumb. It's so fucked up. You both have. I don't think so. I don't think the show is dumb. I don't think it's dumb or something. No, it's so dumb it's so fucked up you both have i don't think so i think the show i don't think the show is i don't think it's dumb or no it's not challenging but i yes it's not dumb okay it's not i there's almost not an adjective that i would put on it you know what i mean it's a show it's a show like the show's happening now okay anytime i think like oh it's

gonna be this thing, it's like, no, it's not that. But that's like in a good or bad. Everyone's like, uh-oh, maybe it might start to be this now. Oh, nope. I haven't said a word. I haven't said a word in the last five minutes. And the two of you are just fucking back and forth.

Wow, that's amazing. Digging your heels in. Time for you to just be silent feels like so that low. I said I can't keep up. I cannot keep up with the lightning minds of Hollywood phone book or whatever the fuck this stupid thing is. Are we good? Did we get it?

Yeah, just do the bumpers real quick, and then we'll just get out of your hair. Great. You've been listening to the Hollywood Handbook with Sean and Hayes mcarthur are we good do one more if and if i'm gonna get there was a time when hayes mcarthur was like that was like the good one now i think we're actually moving back into a hayes hargrove moment so if i don't know if it kristin wiggs x i know actually done a lot i don't you just said you don't know who that is

so i i was helping you i don't know i know i don't know who that is i i only know you sort of okay um yeah i don't that's not i don't feel like we know each other that well but that's fine like if you feel like you don't think we know each other that well, but that's fine. Like if you feel like. You don't think we know each other enough. That's great. To be a sort of a sort of. No, I wouldn't classify our knowing each other as sort of.

Yeah. No, that's that's right. I think that's exactly what I sort of. Yeah. Yeah. I sort of know you. Yes, that's right.

I think I used and I and I sort of i sort of know sean for going on 20 years yeah i think i used to know you yeah i remind me of somebody that i used to know all right i really i really hate this i know let's do one i know more sequence one more one more set of bumpers just for for Flaker Ones, Pro version, and Hollywood Handbook, just keep listening, keep subscribing. And upgrade the tier. Upgrade to a more expensive tier.

You've been listening to Hollywood Handbook. Upgrade to a more expensive tier. You've been listening to Final... What is it? The Pro version. You've been listening to the Pro version. Upgrade to a higher... Please listen to the Pro version pro version upgrade to a higher please listen to the pro version now upgrade to a higher tier and then what's the other one and you've been

listening to flagrant ones the flagrant ones yeah you yeah and do do i liked your idea that you hey you like to shoot free throws hey you thought that was free throws okay cool yeah hey you like to shoot free throws we'll come down but they're not coming they're not going anywhere they're not going no they're going to come down to the computer to the new tier hey hey you like shooting free throws why don't you sign up for the new tier of the flagrant ones that's yeah really nice yeah it's not new but it's fine if they if they think that it is new oh okay and they can and they can watch it. They can watch the party. Oof.

That's what the more expensive do. They can watch the party. Oh, I thought you knew that because you look... I want to say you look awesome. You look great, man. I felt bad for the people that have to watch. I mean, I...

I thought you were really, really putting time into it because you look really good. to watch i mean i'm watching i thought you were like i thought you were like really really prepped like putting time into it because like you look really as everything else is like going in like whatever like you're you're looking great yeah thank you all right now i really i can't say this enough i i am i've had a horrible time but can we please be done um i i i think i'm okay kevin you had a question yeah in the pilot episode adam someone like compliments you and you order them around to drinks do you remember that they do that in like every episode yeah every every episode follows the exact same form so just say whenever you're about to say something about the show, just say like

in every episode, you do blank. In every episode, someone compliments you and you say to the waiter, can you get them a round of drinks? Was that added in post? What? Kevin's learning. He's a producer

and so we want him to be learning about producers. Sorry, ADR. It so we want him to be learning about like, we wanted to know. Sorry, ADR. It sounded like it was, that sounded like it was a different day. Was it a different day, Adam?

No, we, we, we was the same day. You did the ADR in the same day. We did. No, we did not do any additional recording.

We just, we did no ADR. Now, it is some fucking bullshit. you got your producer kevin giving me this fucking backhanded bullshit there's nothing wrong with doing adr he watched the show the fact that the show like to do adr came together you drive a motorcycle kevin uh no they're bad for the environment i really i fucking hate this so much it's infuriating we try to get to 58 if you want to just like put a clock on it we try to get to like 58 minutes yeah we're closing in on 50 we did a 30 minute warm-up that was your choice I think you Sean I hate to say this but

I think you need to check back in with yourself and look what choice means to you that was not my choice I was fooled I was tricked okay I'm checking in with myself

I'm feeling pretty good i'm a little sad that my friend adam can't fucking remember what happened less than an hour ago when he said like do you mind if i just go off do you mind if i go off Kings before we record? I really need to go off my Kings. And you started just ripping into my brothers in Christ. He said, yeah,

my brothers in Christ. Yeah. It's like, I was like, yeah, I guess people are saying that now you did this shit to Schwartz saying it. He's people, the same shtick to Schwartz.

We're trying to find the time to do it to him. Yeah, he sang a lot more than me. He was singing when we were doing it, so it was hard to get this stuff in there. Does Earwolf have some sort of comment card that I can fill out to let people know what happened here? Maybe. They might. Check with them.

Yeah, I don't fucking know. Because this is not i would not want anyone else to have to do this comic card speaking of that's overhead like we don't need that kind of overhead here yeah before you leave i just need to i need two emails of contacts that you think would be a good guest on the show yeah we try to kind of pay it forward because these are emails from you to them asking you want me to forward them you want me to ask people to do yeah they'll do the show yeah it could be a little specific to the people yeah you ready i have yeah let me just go on just gonna email dalia chrisia, you guys want him?

Okay. So are you not in touch with like... Oh, look. Damon Jr. First name that pops up. First name that pops up would be a good one. First name that pops up on your phone. Yeah.

Actually, I do have to pick up my kid. Oh. I'm kidding. I don't have a kid with me me i don't have a kid with me well this yeah this but this is this was good so i would say um you know obviously we have the bumpers if you could just do some wild like uh sort of sound bur soundboard type uh like interruption lines like stuff for kevin to plug in afterwards where when we're interviewing another guest if it's feeling a little dry you

can go like whoa like that was a wild one yeah like drops like just like wild drops the boys are heating up yeah that yeah stuff like that so that we could just like plug that stuff in uh okay do you have any you just did about a couple examples yeah um do you have any that you wrote though like things that you want me to say yeah i uh um am i stealing from you by asking long hand no no no no no no no no no that we're we're we're beyond that you and i we practically know each other what we'll do is sort of sort of um why don't you just uh say some things that you felt during this where you're like, where is this going? This is getting crazy.

Or like when you're feeling like, okay, funny much? Yes, please. Like that kind of thing. And we'll just plug those in. Okay, cool. Putting him down to make myself feel better. putting him down to make myself feel better putting him down to make myself feel better i'm putting him down to make myself feel better these are getting these are getting worse not

better i feel like yeah i think the first one at least felt a little bit first one is i think the closest we're gonna get diminishing returns I think we're good I think we got it thank you bye thanks bye Hollywood Handbook that was a hate gum podcast