Hollywood Handbook - Anders Holm, Our Close Friend Again

Episode Date: March 13, 2018

Sean and Hayes welcome ANDERS HOLM from the new show Champions on NBC into the studio to talk about a certain kind of script that is interesting. This episode is sponsored by  Squarespace  (code: THEBOYS) and  Simple Contacts  (code: THEBOYS).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, it's me and Bob, Will Fong, and Dan. Back it all. And we're all out there. Yes, I know. I know you guys have your own. That's what I say. But we are just doing the real news

Just for each other Just in the park, doing the real news And I turn around Can I say, before you turn around That's what you have to do now Is you have to go into the park to do it But yes, well you do In a place without

At the time it was a little more common because this was a few years back. Yeah. But we turn around and who's peeking out of a trash can spying? I know. And it's John. John. And he goes, this could be a show. Yeah.

And I go, we see you, John. Yeah. And he says, that's pretty funny, you doing the news like that. And I go, well, it's not for that, John. We're not doing it for that reason. Like, we just all come here, we chop it up about the day's events. Me, Dan, and Bob. Yeah.

Three dudes. And John goes, okay, okay, yeah, I won't make it a show. What do you think he did? So I think what he did was he went and did the show. Did a big show. The real news. Yeah. And Bob and Dan forgive him immediately.

Yeah. So was that helpful before when I was taking you down a different track of like, oh, you have to do the real news in the park now because it's not safe other places? When you wanted it to be a long time ago? Did I like that? I guess I could have stopped telling the story I was telling and just explored the idea of

how restricted we are these days and how you can't talk about the news anywhere except you can go to the park with your friends and they gotta be jacked. Hey! Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the hallway!

In the hallway! We got Ders! What up, what up? Hey guys, good to be back. and dropping names in the hallway. In the hallway. Carving linebacker hallways in this industry we call showbiz. We got Ders. What up, what up? Hey, guys. Good to be back. Ders, man. Good to have you back.

Jesus. Took us long enough. No. He's already after me. It's been a couple years. Uh-oh. Yeah. But I look at your face and I wonder, was it a couple years going back in time instead?

Yes, because of how fresh-faced. You look so good. I got a broccolini scrub. Oh, okay. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you better start knowing, because it's the answer. It's about time, yeah. Broccolini scrub. Yeah, I have that with

lamb chops. People think it's like, oh, you blend up some broccolini and scrub down our face. No, the broccolini is the scrub. It looks like a scrubber. It's like, have you been to Venice? They're doing this. This is a thing. Yes.

And I'm so pissed off that some of our listeners haven't been to Venice. And it's like, why are we doing this show? If you're not going to meet us halfway and go to Venice for a minute. You can't just hang in Century City where the business is going down. You've got to go where the creatives are. Your Venice is your Culver City. I don't know if you guys have been there. It is

popping off. That's where the real creative energy is. There's no suits. No, I met a sculptor. Wow. Different mixed media. Culver City, man. That's insane right now. And we're working on

a pilot idea. About the sculptor? Yeah. You're working on it with the sculptor. Clay Nation. That's what we're working on right now. Wow. Shit, man. You know who you should get? Clay Aiken. That's not not bad i think he's wrapped

up politically but you know that's just me i don't want to do it i don't want to dip into politics i'll save it for the park please yes no yeah that's for the park you can't put it in your work anymore because they make you go to jail yeah can i just say before we get too far into this i can feel ryan wanting to to jump in on these ideas. Engineer Ryan, he wasn't around last time you were on here. I do want to explain something about him. Feels weird. Feels different. He's a fame whore.

Not great, yeah. He's so desperate for attention. Yes. And every time we start a podcast, he finds something where it's like, I've got to fix the mic or something. He gets in everybody's business, winds up. You probably have a business card in your pocket because he probably slept with me. I without a doubt do. Yeah, because Ryan will slide one in there when he gets up close.

And every time we initiate a bit, Ryan wants to take ownership of it and mold it into something. Is that a real business card? It just came from a meeting, guys. Wow. But I do appreciate you squeezing me in. And you just put it loose at your pocket. This guy's as real

as it gets. I left my holder at home. Oh, okay. You're metal. I use them as bookmarks in my scripts. Wow. As I'm reading a script, I just will take out one of the many business cards from the meetings and I'll just mark off. See, and this is always fun to talk about because for me, if I don't read it all the way through in one sitting, obviously it didn't win me over.

I'm not into it. I throw it out. This is so fun to talk about. This is always fun to talk about. Yes. No. No, you are a one sitting read it guy. And I'm someone who goes, maybe the way I felt about that script was related to my mood.

So what I had going on that day. So let me go read the second half on another day where I've had a different meal, maybe. Where maybe I did legs. Sure. For me, I know my processes. I'll read a couple of pages and then I'll have a big itch. I'll have to itch myself all the way over. And so that, I have to put the script away and sit on it, let it marinate for a bit,

and really itch my body. And that's your thing, because remember the two rivers, the Fork Rivers, we both read that. The Fork Rivers, yeah. I threw it out, and you said, had me itching. Yes, and it doesn't matter the quality of the script, whether or not I'm going to itch no matter what. I'm going to have a big, bad itch. He's a human being and he has a special blanket that he has to get inside. I have to sort of roll. I get in one end and then I roll myself up in, and then I roll the whole thing around the room.

And as a writer myself, I don't want a robot reading my scripts like that. I want a human to feel and connect, with the exception of a few scripts I've written about robots. Right. That's different. I'm not talking about that. I want the perspective of the characters. Yes, yes. Oh, my God. Just say it with me. Characters. I want the perspective of the characters. Oh, my God.

Just say it with me. Characters. Hollywood, are you listening? Characters. Do a season two, please. Where are the juices? Of the characters. At long last, can we get these guys some more stuff? Don't get me started.

This town. So we had stopped talking about Hollywood stuff for a long time and now you're, you're, you're back. And so we want to do it some more. Let's explore it. Yeah. I don't know why else I'd be here. Yes. Mr. Hollywood, the kid.

Yeah. Uh, and so what we want to talk about is scripts. We did talk about that. We are talking about it. But specifically something that could really help our audience, which is – You're not correcting. I just want you to know I was going to get into that. Oh, really?

Yes. I wasn't just going to say scripts. I was beginning it. We'll never know. So you're not correcting me. We'll never know. We are. We do know because I am telling you.

But to clarify what Hayes was saying and maybe didn't even know where he was going with, how do you write, as a young buck in the biz, a noisy spec? A spec, you talk about these one sitting reads. Sure. That'll take you, you'll start reading the spec, and it'll be so noisy that you'll look up, and now it's like nighttime. You see my name on the spec? It might get loud. What's funny is you ask me, and for years people would say,

you did it again? A lot of noise. You got a boomer. Yeah. And I didn't know why. This is just my gift, I guess. Sonic boom. Exactly. Sonic Boom. Exactly.

Thank you. Well, Boomer Esiason was attached to a lot of your projects, I remember. To two. To two. But that's a lot for him. For Boomer, he doesn't do anything. No, he's huge. Korea, he's huge.

Yeah. Esiason means warrior. Oh. Not directly translated, but the sound. So they would say boomer warrior. So he plays really well over there. Not directly translated, but the sound. But the sound means it.

Yes, yes, yes. But so I would just write these things, and it was my gift. But now that I've really sat back and dissected, I think I know why they got the boom. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. And it boils down to just having a take. Yeah. Wow.

And, of course, a cuss in the title. Well, for sure. Yeah. That will never be able to be used in the final script. No, but when you get that, you go, I'm reading this. Yeah. Okay. This guy just about, either he doesn't know the rules or he doesn't care about the rules.

Either way, I'm interested. Yeah. I even like to put down under the contact, I'll put my agency and then 1-900-GO-FUCK-YOURSELF. Yes. And then I'll say – Good luck calling back. And I'm laughing because that's not even the – Anders.holm at figureitthefuckout.com.

You know? And then they go, this guy's an animal. You say fuck in the title, the phone number, the email, and your name. Yeah. Anders Fuck. Yeah. Damn, dude. Well, it's an attention grabber.

It's a shiny, sparkly thing. We all like them yes okay and I notice you're wearing a lot of jewelry yeah as you talk about a shiny sparkly thing

since the last time I met you you have tripled the amount of jewelry that you wear which was already a lot my significant other

and I thought it'd be a good idea to get these nose rings and I don't see a lot of them. So I'm the guy. Again, it's like, whoa, he just swore. 1-900-fuck-you.

Yeah. And I got a nose ring. Yeah. Oh, honors home. Nose ring? Yeah. Unforgetting guy. And it's the kind, it's like a bowl has over the center.

Oh, yeah. I guess we should describe it. We're on radio. It's a cell phone. It's like through one of the nostrils. Sorry. I'm used to a very large screen with A-list celebrities. This is radio.

I should describe it. It is through the middle like a bowl or a door knocker. A door knocker, sure. And there's food on it. Stop it. And there's a lot of food on it. Oh, yeah, what kind of food? Cocktail shrimp.

Okay, you got me. There might of food? Cocktail shrimp. Okay. You got me. There might be a little shell on there. Yeah. Oh, that's good. You can just shoot that right off. Sean, did I get it? Yeah, mostly.

Did I get it? Yeah. Hey, is he fucking with me? No, you did mostly get it. Did I get it? Yeah. All right. Yeah, you know. It's not there anymore, but I think people will be able to tell it was there, which I mostly get it. I get it. Yeah. All right. Yeah, you know.

It's not there anymore, but I think people will be able to tell it was there, which I think is good. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just one part's shinier than the rest. It was gone now, and I'm not embarrassed. No, and that is part of what has driven you to such success is you are able to just not get embarrassed and go, hey, yeah, I'm using the F word in my script name. Yeah. And a lot of people are too shy to do that.

Yeah. Throw out that fear and pick up a freaking beer, baby. So let's give an example of how this works, how to take a script that is quiet and like a quiet mouse. That's a mouse. It's a quiet mouse. That's a mouse. It's a sleepy mouse. And to add it to the noise level up. And crank.

So Ryan, so you can do your fame horror stuff. What is a normal idea for a script that you might have? Please don't try to go crazy on us. This has to be normal. You're already shooting yourself in the foot with the word normal. What I'm saying is that doesn't exist anymore. I know.

We're taking a normal guy. Now he knows. Does he know? It sounds like he does. It's my show and it's my idea for the show anyway. The normal idea, we're taking ideas that normies have, and we are making them noisy. Yeah, but I'm just telling you there's no such thing as normal, and you didn't even seem to actually know that. No, I know.

When you first stopped him, his eyes were like freaking saucers. The whole idea is so stupid that I don't know. And he was so scared, like, I don't know what he could have said. It makes no sense. Hey, Clements, let's back off. Let's let him. Okay. What were you saying?

Do your thing. Yeah, yeah. What was your thing? I was getting ideas from Ryan. Oh, right, right, right. What kind of ideas again? Yeah, that'll be good. The whole thing is me.

So you want a normal, whatever that is, pilot idea from Ryan. Yes. And now he's had some time to think about it. Okay. Which I didn't want. I wanted it to be fast. That's what she said. So it would be, I heard that.

Yeah, she said it. A guy in the Civil War. And we had BJ on this show. Civil War? I do know about that as well. Which country? This country. America?

America. The American Civil War. This plays all over the world, so be specific. A guy in the Civil War. And he, this is, by the world, so be specific. A guy in the Civil War, and he gets killed. A direction that Ryan will often go in his pitches is sort of re-litigating the Civil War and showing that it wasn't really what people thought it was. I'm just happy he didn't call it the War of Northern Aggression this time. Yes.

And that there were economic factors that he says everyone thinks it was about I'm just happy he didn't call it the War of Northern Aggression this time. Yes. And that there were like economic factors that like he says like everyone thinks it was about this one thing but it was actually about this other stuff. I'm just letting you know you haven't been here for like this guy. Context is everything. Yes, context is king. I just can't believe how long too this pitch is getting.

A guy is in the Civil War. He gets killed. He gets killed. And then gets brought A guy is in the Civil War. He gets killed. He gets killed. Okay. And then gets brought back to life. By a wizard or? By. Just you can say slave.

Frog or? A slave. You can say. He doesn't think. He's looking at me. He just mouthed the word. Slave. I'm like, you can say it. A slave.

A Haitian slave. This is your story. An escaped Haitian slave. Okay. Who knows voodoo. Brings him back as an undead zombie to use as bait to catch vampires. Oh, this is a pretty sleepy idea. Yeah.

I mean, this is the kind of thing that slides across your desk. You go, this again? Yeah. When you said normal, I was like, that doesn't exist. It does. Here it is. I guess we owe A's an apology because we did just hear pretty normal idea. Yes.

And I forget how basic Ryan's ass is. But let's put it on blast with the big bass speakers. This one goes to 11. oh shit who invited the freaking beat master bass in your face so the first thing is the title yours doesn't have one uh since i the title should be something like civil fucking war comma bitch yeah um the civil war bitch this ain't your daddy's civil war bitch yeah the fucking slut civil war bitch the the bit oh yeah the bitch in the civil war zombie bitch don't trust this don't trust the bitch in the civil war don't trust the bitch in the Civil War. Don't trust the zombie in the Civil War, bitch.

Don't trust the zombie bitch in the, yes, fucking Civil War. We got it. So, right away, I'm like, okay, the title works. And the title's making me feel like all like, like I'm violating the rules reading it, which I love. I'll look around and be like, can people

see me reading this this is overused but it gives me all the feels because I am frightened literally all the feels

I am sexually aroused because I know there's something slutty happening the word bitch I am thinking yeah

because it's yes it's civil war so it's history and I'm mad as hell because some of the civil war stuff is totally misunderstood Yeah, because it's, yes, it's Civil War, so it's history. And I'm mad as hell because some of the Civil War stuff is totally misunderstood. All right. And I have an ego. I can admit that.

He's human. Sorry. Yeah. Again, a good thing. I'm working on it. Well, we haven't even talked about font. Yes. So, yeah. so so yeah you got where you so we've established that that that feel when you read don't trust the zombie bitch in the civil war bitch yeah that'll

jump it's literally all the feels but the font how do we how do we make that the main font? I mean, well, so first of all, what I usually do is I'll design it myself. I'll go to Rooster, Blue Rooster, Art Supplies, and I'll get a variety of different markers, pens. I'll design my own cover page. Sometimes I'll do the whole poster just so they can look at it. That's what posters do. You don't even have to read. The TV show poster. Oh, yeah. do. You don't even have to read. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You know, you got the dog. So Civil War, zombies, right? Yeah. What do we got? I don't know. A giant Confederate flag. What's this?

I don't want this in my outfit. Wait, what's the title? Oh, I'll check it out. Yeah, all of a sudden they got to read it. Oh, they get it. They actually do get it. Yeah, next thing you know, they're hanging a Confederate flag in their home. Yes.

Which is always the goal is to change the way we think. Because they want to get it in the same way. Which is swag. It's ironic. It's like, obviously, but, yeah, I mean, yes. Yes. Yes, bitch. The Confederate flag is 100.

Yeah. Well, and it gives, because it gives America all the feels. Uh-huh. Good or bad? Good. Oh, a lot of bad ones. Right. But isn't that provocative?

Isn't that interesting? And isn't it maybe a good show that the Game of Thrones guys should do? Yes. I mean, for me, it's like,

it's a good thing because I'm like, oh, that, that's over. Uh-huh. That's done. Yes. It'm like, oh, that, that's over. Uh-huh. That's done. It reminds me. Oh, finally.

Yes. But what if maybe. What if some, what if there were ramifications of it still to this day? Yeah, imagine that strange world. You could go down a real rabbit hole. Keep reading. Yes, you actually read it. And here's what I like to do for a pilot.

Sometimes I will just send out page 17 and on and then right after it says end of show below that I say you want more? call the number bitch you want the beginning?

you want to start go fuck yourself dude so sick cause you drop them right in the middle and then then they're just like, how the shit did I get here? Where the fuck am I? Right? And who's doing this? And the number is fake.

So what? I am just curious where it goes from there usually when you do that. Well, my name's real. But the name on it is Anders Fuck. But there's no other Andersres in town oh okay so they know yes that no that i know i that's i'm just asking so other people can know it's harder for hayes to do because hayes mcarthur yeah so there's one or two and they're like hey did hayes mcarthur do this and they usually, I did. If people say Hayes, they usually default to Hayes McArthur. Next thing you know, there's a story on Angie Tribeca that seems pretty familiar.

Yeah, and the vampire zombie beating up a slave or whatever. Yeah. Not whatever. That's Ryan's idea. I mean, I don't know if it really makes sense. It doesn't resonate. Let's make it noisier so that people can hear it. We've got the right font.

We've done the poster at Blue Rooster. Relevance. The TV poster is so important. I do just want to say people don't take enough time designing the big poster for when people go to the TV theater, when you choose your TV for the week. The poster is what's making the sale. Yeah. Look at Netflix and the success it's having

because it's got little, I guess they call them thumbnails. Those are movie posters, just really tiny. Those aren't thumbnails. Those are tiny movie posters. Yeah, those are tiny posters. I take back on all the TV posters of my favorite TVs, and I just— Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah. One, two, three. MacGyver. See? Yes. Yeah. Yes. And you also have to be thinking about what you want to hang in your office.

Oh. When it's all said and done. Are you still hanging stuff? Yeah, I'm still hanging stuff. Here's another lesson for you knuckleheads out here. You don't hang it. You keep it wrapped up and you lean it against the wall on the floor. Because guess what?

You don't have time. Thank you. You were in Vancouver working. Just got into this space. I'd love to make it feel a little homey at some point. Right. I've only been here six years because I'm continuously working, but I'm always busy, never hanging.

Yeah, I do it like that. And I'm not going to make my assistant do it. No. No. Right. I literally don't make my assistant do anything. No, because you promote them within. Because I'm so cool.

And this is how you keep them. And they're your best friend. Oh, yeah. And they're my cousin. And I owe them a favor. But they talk to you like they're very mean to you. Oh, God. They talk to you in like a very nasty way. They treat me like shit, and they ruin a lot of you. Oh, God. They talk to you in, like, a very nasty way.

They treat me like shit, and they ruin a lot of what I'm involved in. Right. For me, it's a two-way street. Mm-hmm. A lot of throat lozenges. And my cousin's very stupid. Uh-huh. Yes.

But they get to be involved in everything. Yes, they're a producer. Marketing. Oh, wow. Yeah. Good for him. Her? I'm getting nervous to ask. Yeah. Good for him. Her? I'm nervous to ask.

We don't really have those labels anymore. You know that. Totally understandable. She identifies – If I could just take a moment, I just want to make sure this is clear. I am sorry I asked. Please. There are no stupid questions,

but there are very rude questions that are very wrong and you should get in trouble for. I know that wasn't your intention, but she identifies as a freak show. That's what she wants to be called. So when you say him, her, it's like, I don't like to answer that. Sorry. Sorry about that. Hey, I'm Him, her. It's like, I don't like to answer that. Sorry. Sorry about that. Hey, I'm not pissed off.

I'm scared as hell for you because this is recorded. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that's why I wanted to get ahead of it. And just, I heard it and I'm sorry. And you know you're in a position, people admire you. So maybe it's time to listen. Yeah.

You thinking about that? Point taken. I'll call off my dogs here. Do you want to clarify that she identifies as a freak show but her pronouns are something else, right? That stuff.

Yeah. Frankenhooker. Okay. I mean, just that – these are what I've been asked to use around the office or on set. I think that's cool. Good for your cousin. I think that's cool. Good for your cousin. Well, because maybe the problem is how limited we've been that someone is a him or a her or they identify as male or identify as female.

And maybe the thing is let's start being honest, just identifying as a mess. That's what I am in my personal life. We're humans, an itchy mess. Sorry. Yeah, we get itchy. We got to take a break. You know? So a noisy spec, for those who don't know, it might be a good time to explain.

Now is a good time to really explain what we're talking about. It is a pilot script someone writes that gets a lot of people in the industry talking. And it's not always an original idea like Ryan's very basic idea from the normie about some super boring voodoo Haitian slave resurrecting a soldier. Sometimes they're based on shows that exist. So you might take a show that you like. What's something I'm watching right now? We should say a real famous, really noisy spec was that Friends one where they all got AIDS. Where they get AIDS. And everyone is like, oh, that's very offensive. But keep in mind that this was from the time when more people had AIDS.

Yes. It is offensive to suggest that all of them could have gotten it because of how much we know about it now. But at the time, a lot of people were getting it. The science is in. Is it weird to let you guys know I wrote that? Oh, wow. Okay.

Because I'm in the presence of a celeb-utant. Wow. Because it was credited at the time. It just said, by Mary Prankster. Yeah. That was you? Yeah. So in high school, everyone called me Mary.

Long story. And then I was like, well, you know what? And then I started doing pranks. And then Mary Prankster. Yeah. M-A-R-Y Prankster. Yeah. Yes.

And I don't know if... Let me show you on my phone here. I have a photo. Holy shit. That phone's huge. Me mailing it. Oh, my God. It's so beat up.

That's a big phone. Well, it's my third phone. Oh, my God. There's so much goo on it. There's actually a little... There's a lot of shrimp on it. Yeah. It does look like it is mostly

a plate. Yeah. I don't need this right now. Okay. I had a lunch meeting. I had a lunch meeting. It was with a very important client.

Clientele was important. Yeah, I had shrimp. And the shrimp was good. So what did you have for lunch, Sean? Oh, Paul. Yeah, I didn't think so. I didn't think so.

Okay, that's fair. Hayes, you? Who were you with? Who did you have lunch with? I brought it here. I was hoping to maybe get it in while we were doing this. Oh'd you have lunch with? I brought it here. I was hoping to maybe get it in while we were doing the record. Oh, he brought his lunch here. What a lonely fucking man.

I was hoping to maybe sneak it in while we were doing the record. This is a joke. But I've heard that this is like a good Hollywood tip that like if you bring a food that's so big, it can be a plate. You can show up to a restaurant with a few shrimp put it on your phone and they'll think that you are just like that you're allowed to eat there but then you don't have to you're not joking your way out of this one man and the business card you talk about my phone you talk about my shrimp and i'm just supposed to be like yeah that's that's really funny but the business card you gave me this is from a busboy at the restaurant.

Yeah. So? You don't go to a restaurant? No. I have been. I go there to watch TV. It sounds like you don't go to a restaurant. You don't talk to busboys?

I go to a restaurant. No, I talk to them. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much respect do you have for a busboy Sean Clements? You honestly want my honest answer about that? On a scale of one to ten? Yeah. Ten being? It's off the scale.

Oh, it's off the scale. Off the scale, not big enough. Congratulations. That was good. Way to go. It's all the way off the scale. And if you saw a picture of the scale, you would see my respect level way up over the top of it. Oh, so it's over it. I'm wrecking the curve.

Jesus Christ, you should hear yourself. It's over it, and it's to the left of it, because it's a little non-traditional. I can't wait until you play this back, because I know you listen to yourself because you're fucking in love with yourself. And Hayes and I have talked about this in the elevator on the way up here. I go, is it going to be another Sean Lovefest? And he goes,

that's how I practice. He goes, what do you think it's going to be? It's fucking... I didn't say it like that. I genuinely wanted to know. Oh, my God. And it's how I learn, and you can't get better unless you listen to yourself all the time. Yeah, maybe you.

Maybe you. Yeah, maybe you. Maybe you should watch yourself sometimes or just check a mirror and see if there is a lot of shrimp in your nose ring and on your phone because this is not the first time we've run into this i don't know if you know this but i'm an actor okay and when i'm off the clock i don't want to be looking in the mirror okay i do it all day every day for them you're looking in the mirror while you're filming a show? Hello, it's called hair and makeup.

Oh, my God. Do not make me pull up your IMD. You've worked in this town. Have you not? A lot of his jobs are like, dude, a lot of his jobs say do that stuff at home. They will tell him. Oh, yeah. Is it come having had.

Having had. Having had your hair and makeup done. Yeah. Well, then you wouldn't know. So, yeah. Got a little shrimp on the nose, right? Okay, okay. This is, I know what this is.

This is Ryan. Ryan's, like, performative energy. Yes, it does inspire all of us. And refusal to just sit there and do his job is making everyone tense. It generates a competition where now, because I see him stealing the spotlight, I want it, and Durr sees that. And normally we could just have a conversation, but when Ryan's here we have to be doing a show because that's what Ryan is doing.

I can't deny. I'm feeling it. It's true. Okay. It's true. Which is why I'm so glad that Chef Kevin is here now, who never wants any attention, and is just like— Well, can barely fucking talk. Is just an employee.

Hmm. Is this true? Oh, you don't know Chef Kevin either. That's right. It's been a little while. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here. Hi, Anders. It's been a little while. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here. Hi, Anders.

Nice to meet you. What's up, man? How's it going? Good. It's cold out, huh? It's freezing. Yeah. And Ryan literally just took off a layer.

Kevin started talking, and Ryan took off his shirt. We get it. Someone's been to Equinox. Probably got the model discount. Off his shirt. We get it. Someone's been to Equinox. Probably got the model discount. Hitting the Nox. Equinox. My wife's always like, where are you going? I'm like, she knows.

She knows. Nox three times. She goes, oh, must be leg day. Oh, yeah. Tell you what. Time to finish that script. So we know famously that Kevin watches shows. Kevin's Tinder until recently was a list of shows that he liked.

His Tinder bio was The Office, Arrested Development. Check it out with Dr. Steve Brule. We know this guy likes shows. So he could give us a show, right? That's good, right? He could give us a show and we could noise-ify it. And it might get loud.

And it might get loud! We're gonna make a noisy spec out of it. So do you want an idea or a title? Say the show. Not in office. We already did too much about that. back out of it. So do you want an idea or a title? Say the fucking show. Say the show. Not an office. We did that.

This one's called The Motherload. No, what are you talking about? I don't even want to hear what that is. It's so gross. What we're going to hear is the opposite of what I wanted to do for this. I want a nice clean show. I can't believe I have to explain this.

Mothers take a load. Yes. That's where you come from. Chef Kevin, was it? Is that your little name? So it's about a mom whose son joins the army and she's

sad. So she... Kevin! Kevin, stop! Stop doing this! Do a show, a famous show. A famous show. Say the name!

Do not do that anymore. I thought you wanted to come up with this show. We said, the whole introduction is that you know all these famous shows and you have tried to fuck web it okay based on your interest in these shows hopefully liking the same broad comedy

now get in there and say the name of a show um and we'll crank it up these ones go to 11 and it might get loud and it might get loud does it have to be a show I watch? Okay. Frasier.

Frasier. Okay. All right. That's actually exactly what we wanted. It took a little doing. Yeah. Yeah, that works great for me. So Frasier gets A's.

You know what I mean? Done. Like, let's just do that. Especially back then when we would have been doing it for, like, for the friends thing. That's when people were talking about AIDS and it was, like, a big deal. So it would be, like, cool to do. Right. Like that friend spec was by the Mary Prankster.

And how did he get the AIDS? From the microphone, which means Roz has AIDS. Okay. And now we've got our Act 2 break. Right? And that's good also education about how you can communicate it, which is by, I guess, cleaning the microphone. If someone has it and cleans the microphone, then Frazier can get it. Wasn't that Roz's job?

I think she was also a disc jockey of sorts. Oh, okay. Yeah. She was producer. I don't know. Not unlike my cousin, the French show. Women can also be professional. I don't know the show.

I know they can now. I don't know what was going on in Frasier times. Yeah, it's 2018, and they were way ahead of the time. Guys, Ryan is getting us again. Oh, you're right. Yeah. Let me just dial it back. Driving a wedge between us.

So that would be pretty noisy, that spec. That would be a loud one. I mean, you'd probably be thinking whoever wrote this is smoking that loud. How about this? You bring it back. You bring Frasier back like they brought Will and Grace back, Roseanne and the such and the like. But guess

what? Radio declining. Now it's a podcast from the apartment. The dog's part of the show. Dog has AIDS. Yes. Yes. We made our way there. And now I have all the feels.

The idea that became the idea. And now because animals. Yes. The idea that became the idea. And now, because animals. Yes. There's a famous book about writing called, I think it's called Saving the Cat. Okay. And it's about how if you are able to be the person who is saving the cat, you are the hero.

And you give the feels. And that feeling when I'm hearing that idea and all the feels. And it doesn't have to just be a cat. It can be a dog. So this, it works perfectly. The feels are 100. God, this is so yummy, this idea. Yeah.

The dog has AIDS. That is so yummy. I love that. I'm like quaking. Yeah. I'm trembling. There's also an idea. My whole lower parts. You mentioned the Roseanne reboot. I'm trembling. There's also an idea. My whole lower parts.

You mentioned the Roseanne reboot where... I did, yes. Where she's like... I did. She loves, like, she's really into Trump now, and that's noisy. No. Yes, that's like a noisy thing on the show. No. Yes. Like, you read

this thing, she's like a Trump supporter on the show, and that's noise. We heard it all the way over here in the studio. Yes. You know? this thing. She's like a Trump supporter on the show. And that's noise. We heard it all the way over here in the studio. Yes. You know? I mean, that's how noisy some of this gets. So maybe you could do a thing. No wonder Dan woke up from the dead.

Yeah, they must have been smoking that loud. Right. That's right. So you could do a thing with like Frazier in the show too. Or like, yes, yes, AIDS. But also maybe he is like a straight up Nazi who has has like killed people he's definitely a one percenter he's a very successful dj uh disc jockey radio show host yes so you know as far as taxes go and i don't know where he his character might keep his money but yes there's a lot of benefits to his lifestyle in endorsing a

trump type sure of uh candidate. Right. And he has shot people as well in the name of his beliefs. He could do that. Right? He could do that. Here's a Frazier idea. That's how you end the podcast. Here's a Frazier idea. Here's a democratic...

Here's a Frazier idea. He's trying different medications he might be on, but like it's a wine tasting. Oh my god. Wow. And what's crazy, he's a doctor, but the only person he can't cure is Rob. Oh.

Is Rob. Yes. Right. Because of the thing we know about her. Yeah. And he should be prescribing opioids, obviously, in like huge numbers. And that's holding up a big old fat mirror to society right now. Yes. Did you guys watch the 60 Minutes? That's holding up three billboards to society.

Oh, okay. Well done. Well played. Did you get that screener? It's on its way. I keep calling. Because I know it was a mistake that I did not receive that screener and so I do keep calling

because I know they would have wanted me to see it. So... Must watch. And I will when it does arrive. The ending will leave... The ending. Just must watch. Breathless.

Oh my God. So you're just going to... No. Okay. Frazier. Great. And now are we just spitballing? Are we going to... No. Okay. Frazier. Great. And now are we just spitballing? Are we going to keep building off of the HIV-AIDS scenario?

I could go a whole new direction. Let's blue sky it. Because for me... Oh, we haven't done a new title yet. Before you say what's for you, we haven't done a new... Like, we should be changing the titles of these so they have cursing in them. Oh, yeah.

Free fucking podcast. Or it's just the F word. The F word. The F word! And it's Frazier. It's called the F word, and the F word is Frazier. Right?

Oh, all the feels. And he's like, welcome to the show. It's me, Frazier. And you're like, welcome to the show. It's me, Frazier. And you're like, every time you think he's going to say it. And you're like, this is network, right? You think that the F word is fuck, but it's Frazier. That's nasty.

Just like how you thought the L word was love, but it was lesbo. And guess what? Who's that at the door? It's the N word. Niles. That's nasty. I door? It's the N-word. Niles. That's nasty. I thought you were going to Equinox. In the middle of that.

Yes, I would. I have been trained to remember that. I was very scared that you were about to go to Equinox right now. That's a totally different thing. You don't remember that? Of course I remember. I have a photographic memory. Thank you for saying that.

Well, I'm just letting you know. Wait, what did you say about Niles? Knock, knock. Who's at the door? The N-word. The N-word. Who's at the war? I thought you almost said, which, okay, let's blue sky it.

It's Niles at the war. I misspoke. But sometimes a mistake is your best idea because who's at the war? Maybe Niles is off fighting in a civil war against some of the zombies from Ryan's script. Now we don't have to lose all those pages we worked on. Yes. Right. We have to use that stuff.

Always save your pages. Yeah. For me, the reason I'm so comfortable blue skying it is because this is sort of a rule of thumb for me. I like my idea, but I love yours. Guilty and is charged. I've been in that position a lot. Guilty – wait, you're guilty as charged? Yeah.

Of what? It's a vehicular man thing. Oh, you're referring to something else. Yeah, and I'd rather not even get into it. But the thing about the F word, F bomb. Oh, the F bomb. And it's Frazier. That leads us to now being at war easier.

And it's like, you know, he's at war. Also, we could up the stakes. Not only does Frazier, by night, he's a radio DJ, but during the day, he's a bomb squad. Oh. And he's got – The hurt locker. He pushes people away because he's scared that he's going to die and hurt them. He himself is a time bomb of sorts.

Oh, my God. Okay. TikTok. and hurt them. He himself is a time bomb of sorts. Oh my God. Okay. And the only bomb that he doesn't know how to defuse is Roz. Boy, this is giving me all the feels. He misses it. You could do a thing where he retires

from the bomb squad every day and then he goes, tries to go back to being a radio DJ, but he misses it too much. And so tomorrow, back to the Bomb Squad, maybe. I'm glad Kevin's here to see this. Right? Thanks for having me.

Guys, I'm off the air. I'm off the air for this one. You know? That could be like the tag. The commercials. That's powerful as hell. Well, because, you know, I think in terms of posters, taglines. Guys, I'm off the air for this one. Guys, I'm off the air for this one Guys, I'm off the air for this one

What is that referring to? Keep up This is for the people listening Obviously I get it People listening Do you know what the radio is? Sorry you couldn't be with us He's not on the goddamn airwaves

He's off the air for this. He's not on the goddamn airwaves, Hayes. He's off the air for this one, Hayes. He's telling the guys that. And there still should be laughs. I mean, we got to bring in the D word, Daphne Moon. She's a bit psychic. Oh, man. So we do keep some levity there.

And now on a serious note, we did lose the actor who played. Dude's dead. Fun recast opportunity. Yeah, I think it could be so fun to have the same character, but have him played by like a Sly Stallone type. Oh, I was just going to say John Cena. Yes. He's funny.

He's so funny. He shops for days. People don't know this about him. He is actually really funny. And imagine this. He walks with the cane and he has a limp. This giant, gorgeous, hulking body has a limp. Vulnerability.

There's a human in there, okay? There's a heart. There's a heart. And a heart is the largest muscle in the body. Wow. Nobody knows that. Wow. Yeah.

I always forget. Yeah. That that's the largest muscle. People think it's like the butt part, but it is the heart. People do think the butt muscle is larger. And that's so wrong. Yeah. Because I know if I can catch a little glimpse in the mirror,

I'm like, well, that's mostly fat. Good thing I got that big old muscular heart. Yeah, you're looking in the mirror at work. Yeah. And then not at all when you leave. Before I'm acting. And during hair and makeup, sometimes you'll catch, just the way you like to do your hair and makeup is

you could catch a little glimpse of your butt while you're getting your hair done. Even a big glimpse. Sometimes that's where he's getting the makeup. Is there such a thing as a big glimpse? Because a glimpse I imagine is very small. Yeah there such a thing as a big glimpse? Because a glimpse, I imagine, is very small. Yeah, sure. I caught a big glimpse.

Yeah. A look-see. I have a nice look-see. I go, well, let me look-see you here. Yep, that's mostly fat. Definitely not heart-sized muscles. Well, I hate to wind down the Ryan show. Yeah, that is unfortunate that we have to sort of disentangle

ourselves from this fucking cyclone of energy. How much time, Ryan? Ryan, how long have we been doing this? And don't lie and say we just started so you can do your whole song and dance routine from the beginning. Oh, does he do that?

Yes. Oh, Jesus. It's been about 45 minutes. Okay. Okay. Thank you for being honest. Oh, no. That should be the name of a script. You guys want to smell some shrimp?

Oh, no. And that's the kind of stuff Frazier will be doing in this new version that he never did in the old one because it was the 90s. By the way. He's burping now.

Like people say, you know, dress nicely for a meeting. Mind your P's and Q's. You're not going to get noticed. Do you see what I just did in a professional environment? Who's going to remember? That's burping the meeting. Ryan's going to go home with his cream corn tonight. And the dinner is going to be like, guess what, honey?

I don't know. Somebody burped at work today. Ryan, you're going to tell her that? And then she's going to be like, who? Anders Holm. What? That's a big reveal at the end. What a twist.

And I can see what he's doing. You see under the table, he has that mason jar that he's like sealing up right now because he like caught a little of the burp. So this is another time. He's going to mix it with his creamed corn. Yes. He'll take some and mix it. Ryan, can you stop showing your creamed corn to all the guests when they first come in? It is weird. Take some and mix it with his creamed

corn and some. The rest he will sell on eBay. He will. He has a whole eBay store. You know what though? It's like, that's Hollywood, though, baby, because you got sharks like us, and then you gotta have those little fish under the belly that eat the cream corn, you know? And more power to

them. If you want my scraps, you want my burps and farts, scoop it up. Hey, it's nature, baby. It's the ecosystem. You gotta have somebody scooping up those burps like a lamprey fish. I like to watch Nat Geo and just go, wait a second, is this Hollywood that I'm watching? It's true. That gazelle looks a lot like a young, green actor fresh off the boat, ready to get eaten live.

And sometimes you're watching Discovery Channel, and sometimes in Hollywood you are eating bizarre foods. And sometimes I'm watching Fresh Off the Boat. In Hollywood it's man versus food. It is, yeah. And unfortunately food has been winning lately. Yes. I haven't thought of that. Just the last couple weeks it has been really bad for food.

And it's cyclical. It'll come back. That is funny. Hey, thank you so much for telling me that's funny. I love hearing that. You know what? Okay. He's still sensitive about this.

You know what I mean when I say that's funny? I meant like that's peculiar, that I hadn't thought of that. And you just say that's funny, Sean. It doesn't mean, okay. No, I love hearing that, that that's funny what I said. You know what? That's so comforting. is this is funny now I'm laughing oh yeah oh well that's two of us then because I'm cracking up he really it sounds like he's mad but he really is very happy oh that's just how my voice gets when I'm losing it from how funny I think it is. I'm laughing. He really is laughing.

You know what? You ought to hit the Sunset Strip. You ever heard of the Comedy Store? Why don't you go buy some time over there? Is that something you can do? Something I could do. You're allowed to buy a set at the Comedy Store? It's something I could do. Not everyone allowed to buy a set at a comedy store? It's something I could do.

Not everyone could do it, but you can buy a set. Because I'm funny. You're allowed. Okay. Yeah. Can buy it. Okay. So why don't you go down there and try?

You're suggesting I do. This is like... I would love to see you show up outside of the comedy store and get past the likes of... Well, just I can name names. Dov Davidoff. Yeah. You think you could buy him? I don't know. He would see right through you. I don name names. Dov Davidoff. Yeah. You think you'd get by him? I don't know.

He would see right through you. I don't know. I don't know him. Yeah. What circles do you run in again? Is it just you and Hayes? Because that ain't a circle. That's a line, bitch.

We do a thing with our arms. It's a line segment. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like skydivers, too? Yeah. We kind of circle up with our arms. Yeah. Why don a segment. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like skydivers, too. Yeah. We kind of circle up with our arms. Yeah, why don't you go jump out of a plane?

Do me a favor, though. Okay. Leave the chute. No! I wouldn't. That's not safe at all. I would never, unless a plane hasn't even taken off, and that is something I just realized I could.

So maybe I will. Yeah. Not stopping you. Because I'd be fine. I love how I'm crashing. You watch Crashing. Yeah. Where he's at this stage in his career.

Do I watch Crashing? That's funny. Of course I do. Go ahead. Crashing? Yeah, I watch it. Yeah, I ahead. Where... Crashing? Yeah, watch it. Yeah, watch out on that Gio, baby. It is like that sometimes.

Truth about Hollywood, yeah. Yes, because it is animals out there. He's in this ecosystem. He's climbing up the food chain, you know. He starts out, he's just a lowly little plankton, and now he's just about going to be a fucking super predator. He's sad at Carolina. Am I the only one who got... I just got crashing on a couch,

but also his life's crashing. I just got that. I still don't know if I see it. Yeah, I actually don't think that's what it means. I think it's like a comedy word. Oh. For like he's crashing the comedy scene. Oh.

Yeah, that's what it is. He's sort of the Kool-Aid man of the comedy scene. Yes. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Crashing in there and just hitting them with jokes. And like there are all these like norms set up and he is crashing into these norms with a car basically of like a joke he did. Of material, yeah. Non-core.

Yeah. But what were you going to say about it, Hayes? I think I just wanted to introduce it. Yes. I think I just wanted to just put it out there in the world. But he had been talking about, like, you know, it's like everything we see Pete go through on that show is true and about, like, buying sets.

Pete. Yes. Yes. Yes. Crashing. Yes. Durs, have you made it weird? Yeah, I've gotten weird.

I don't know if I've made it weird. That might be you or your department. Well, he's referencing. Pete's podcast. On his show, Kevin, which I noticed on Workaholics, you did not list in your Tinder bio. That's okay. I understand that.

You don't want to get too much ass. That's why. Okay. And that's why. And that's why. A kid needs to catch his breath every day. Yeah, yeah. You can't catch your breath when you got chicks sitting on your face.

Am I wrong? Okay. Am I wrong? I'll stop you when you are. Whoops. I took my chauvinist pill this morning. Sorry, guys. So when he said, I've gotten weird, let's get weird was like a thing that they would say on the show a lot.

We did, I guess, yeah. Yes. Sorry. It's just my life. It's odd to think about how other people see it from the outside. Right. Right. I don't know.

I'll never know. I'm on the inside. Yeah. I don't know. I'll never know. I'm on the inside. He's way in there. I do feel like, sometimes I feel like an animal in a zoo. Yeah. You know? Because how come? Are you serious?

Just for the listeners. I mean, of course, I understand exactly and feel the same. Think about when you go to the zoo. What do you go to see? Well, I guess the guys. Thank you, Hayes. You go to see the animals. Okay.

And where are these animals supposed to live? Where are they most comfortable? In their own environment. And then all of a sudden they're put in a box. A cage box. Yeah. We just have a very different zoo experience. Oh, tell me about your zoo experience.

Well, so a friend of mine actually works there. So when I am going, it's usually just to grab lunch with him real quick. And so – Cotton candy. Yeah. Dippin' Dots. Not always. Not always the sweet stuff, but sometimes we will do that for fun. But I know there are –

Savory Dippin' Dots. Yes. I just ask him to do it without the sugar, so it's just the texture that I like. Well, here's what I want you to ask your friend. Ask your friend how he, she, or ask your friend... That's he. How they think

the animals feel, and whatever he tells you, that's my answer for how I feel. I've asked him, and he said he doesn't know, you know, because their brain is so different. But he's an actual animal expert. Their brains are not that different. That's, see that, people like you, people like you. Oh, look, roadkill.

I'm going to run over it again. Oh, yeah? That was a mom. That was a brother. That was... And dolphins can do math. Wait, weren't you just saying ecosystem about five minutes ago? Where's that Chong? I would love to be...

I'd love to get him back in this room. And a crow can do a puzzle. Yeah. Oh, oh, you... See, now I'm getting mocked. You ever see birds fly in a formation? What the fuck do you think that is? A puzzle.

You think we can walk out there and do that? They're making themselves into a puzzle. They're being a puzzle. Essentially. They're all pieces to a puzzle. No wonder they can do it. Yeah. They can be it.

Yeah. Birds of a feather flock together. Who do you think came up with that? That was a bird. It had to be. It was a person about birds. It had to be. They must have heard it from a bird at least.

Well, of course they've heard it. They're birds. Oh, my God. I feel like I'm – you guys are running on treadmills and I am on the pavement. I'm sorry we made you so upset so many times. It's not you. It's probably Ryan. Okay.

And we've identified again what the issue is. It's loudmouth Ryan. It's just a vibe I'm getting. Oh, my God. Do you guys have a wall i can punch okay kevin has been talking about getting one in here forever a wall yes oh kevin talking about something again not doing well kevin has said that there's another wall that he's very interested in building before he gets a wall in here. Oh, wow. I guess – Ryan has been telling himself about like a new Civil War.

Yeah, Ryan's been in this year. Yeah. And so Kevin has volunteered to go build the wall. Yeah, he's always carrying around a brick. On what side? This is going to be the first brick. Yeah. Just holding, just feeling, this will be the first brick.

It just takes one to start a revolution. And, you know, just quietly saying that to himself as he sort of feels the weight of the brick in his hand. And we'll ask him to, you know, can we get a wall in here for the guests? It makes them more comfortable. They can punch the wall when Ryan gets them worked up or just to get us a glass of water or anything practical. And he's just with the brick. Right, because you can't.

How do you – you can't hold the glass in the floor. Because he'll go, it doesn't go here. He's like, you know where it goes? On the edge of my home. Right. And so I, you know, I can't keep having that same conversation with him. You know, it would be funny. And this is a – I don't know if you guys do crew gifts here.

Do you do crew gifts? Yeah, yeah. Every year. Every year we do crew gifts for everyone. Yeah. I'm thinking about – and don't – is he still here? I'm thinking about maybe just like a brick. Okay.

And everyone will be like, oh, shit. Yeah. And then with all- Everyone gets a brick. Everyone gets a brick, but then guess what you build? A wall. Wow. Yeah.

Because how many guys, how many people run this ship here? There's about 200 people working here. I've met four of them. They all trade jobs every couple weeks. And it's different people every time in the office, seemingly. Okay, well, let me... Every time I walk in here, I'm like, who is that? 200 people, 80 cents a person.

So you're looking at like $160? I feel like that's doable. Yeah. And then obviously you want to get a little stationery and some ribbon. So you're looking at like $160. I feel like that's doable for bricks. And then obviously you want to get a little stationary and some ribbon, tie it, and then write the note on that. Or you just write it on brick, I guess. I don't know. Yeah.

You can use the shopping cart from the store to carry them in. Sure, yeah. And the wheels might lock up, but you can just drag it. Durs, tell me about Champions. The show? It's primetime. Uh-oh. Okay. So that's a fun feeling. What I like

to do in primetime is my thang. Okay. So that's what you're going to be seeing a lot. I've heard about this. Yeah. It is an ensemble comedy about a gym. And me and my brother, we own the gym. I've heard that it's an ensemble comedy where there's like the funny guy, Durs, but then there's like the hot guy, Durs,

and then there's like the sweetheart next door, Durs. I think there's a smart guy in there too. Ders. Flattery will get you everywhere. Okay. Does anyone go viral this season? I'm sorry. What do you mean?

Oh, just, you know, in today's culture, a big storytelling tool at our disposal. It could be M.A.T.'s gym. We can make it. Did you see? I just lower the hook, the dangly tool at our disposal. It could be an AIDS gym. We can make it. I'm joking. Did you see? I just lower the hook. The dangly.

The dangly. Oh, that looks yummy. Let me just chomp into it. Uh-oh. Here I go. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.

We hope to – I mean we just shot 10 episodes and fingers crossed we can get a couple of GIFs. A couple of GIF gifts out there that last. Crew gifts. No, no. G I F. Oh,

okay. Crew gifts. Never said crew. Hayes, you're, you're, Hayes, you brought,

that's your package. You brought to it. Your whole deal. Um, but yeah, I mean, I think it's a funny show and, uh,

you know, after three months of work and, you know, 12, 13, 14-hour days, just three or four gifts, you know, that really resonate. Makes it all worthwhile. You know, when you forgot to add the fabric softener, something, you know. I love that feel when it's you being like, I have a son, but it's about like a fabric softener. Yes, or like when Boo wants to borrow your phone real quick, you know, classic stuff. What moment is that on the show? That would just be like a shock, like a pensive, oh, no.

Oh, no, what's she going to see? Oh, no. A pensive, oh, no. Oh, no. What's she going to see? Oh, no. But, yeah, so my gym owner character finds out that he's got a son that's 15 with Mindy Kaling's character. And this kid we got, boy, was he shot out of a cannon.

Yeah. Made to entertain this one. Oh, man. And that sounds like the kind of guy that might be going viral this season. I got a feeling. I mean, he's the kind of kid you might be going viral this season. I got a feeling. I mean, he's the kind of kid you got to put on – you got to put gym shoes on his feet because he's got taps built into the soles of his feet. You know what I mean? Good gracious.

So a true born entertainer. Yeah. J.J. Tota. I mean, this guy. The Tota package. The Tota package. That's good. That is package. That's good. That is good.

That's strong. Thank you. That's loud. Thank you. That's noisy. We said it might get loud. We warned you. Oh, my God.

That's dope. What time is it on? It's now going to be on at 930. I get a little blue at 9.30. It's the very outer edge of prime time where you're allowed to just be a little bit nasty. A little crazy. A little wild. Right after Will and Grace.

So we got a nice little hour. Yeah. And then if you're watching whatever serious drama comes on after it, you'll get a little minute of the end of our show if you DVR that, you know, a little sneak. So watch out. Oh, nice. For all you drama heads out there. I know comedy's dead.

Comedy's dead. That's all I'm ever hearing. I'm like, well, we're still making it over here, pal. Yeah. We're still telling jokes. People are still laughing. Let's all have a little fun. Yeah, and come on over here and check my pulse.

Yeah. See if comedy is dead or not. Oh, no, don't check it there. That's my arm. That's the funniest part too, is like that last minute of the network show.

Yeah. Will you back load the comic? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, it just harkens back to what I was saying about putting out that pilot, starting on page 17.

Yes. The goods are in the caboose. Yeah. The engine. Your production card, which comes out at the end of the show, says, hey, if you like that, call the fucking number. Yeah, it does. And if you tune in, you'll see it.

Hey, man. Hey, 1-900-FUCK-YOU, man. All right. That's a lot of callbacks. That's good. So let's go. Do you want to burp one more time for people's ringtones? I don't know. Let me get some water, and then you guys keep talking.

Okay. Okay. Thank you. Thanks, Kevin. Hey, let's just talk to each other. Okay. You don't want to do the thank yous this episode? I don't know. Okay. It's just... We do it each other. Okay. You don't want to do the thank yous this episode? I don't know.

Okay. We do it every other episode, so we don't have to do it. We don't have to do it. Yeah. You want to thank Kevin. Thank you, Engineer Ryan. I did thank Kevin. Thank you, Engineer Ryan.

Thank you, Colin. I'm trying not to just throw up. I don't want to just throw up on your mic. I don't want to throw up. I just want to. It's too bad. You wanted me to burp. I just don't want to just throw up on your mic. I don't want to throw up. I just want to. It's too bad. You wanted me to burp. I just don't want to throw up on your mic.

Oh, wow. And he's getting all the feels from that. I got a little shrimp. Got a little shrimp. Bye. Bye. I'm a horny girl wolf. has been an earwolf production executive produced by Scott Aukerman Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon for more information and content visit earwolf.com

that was a hate gum podcast