Hollywood Handbook - Annaliese, Our Song Singer

Episode Date: May 2, 2016

Sean and Hayes do another segment about "Ehh! Wrong" about their Comedy Bang Bang appearance and movie criticism. Then musician and theme song performer ANNALIESE joins the guys to help them create a fresh theme with the help of Producer Engineer Brett.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, I'm there with Charlie Durning and Lonnie Anderson. And Ned's with us. Bitty. And we're on the river rafting doing the deliverance tour. Okay. And I go, there's a boat coming down behind us and we know it. And I go, the deliverance tour okay and i go uh there's a boat coming down behind us and we know it and i go hey ned get up against that tree i'm gonna

pretend to fuck you you know give him a thrill right yes he's the guy from the movie oh so he's not involved he's just going on the deliverance tour as a fan yeah he just you know he hadn't been to that river in a few years and it was just like oh it'll be funny and he's going nah nah i'm not gonna do it and lonnie anderson starts yeah oh yeah she's calling him a chicken okay with her sounds now i get it and so i was pretending to get it yeah no no it's uh yeah uh and he's going jeez, I don't want to be seen as a chicken. But I also don't want dude pretending to fuck me on the tree when people come by. So he's in a bit of a pickle.

Charlie Durning goes, I'll settle this. Has a heart attack and dies. On the boat. Wow. Did that? He bailed him out. Bailed out his friend. He said, I'll settle this.

Did it seem like that what he was trying to do? Wow. I always assumed that that was his intention. Yeah. That he was bailing out a buddy. Because you know. You can only take so much of that before you back down and you just do whatever you're being asked.

And I don't think he wanted Ned to be in that position. And she was there. She was married to Burt Reynolds. A while back, yeah. But this was after their divorce. Right after. Right after. Okay.

And so she went on the tour. Was that some kind of aggressive act towards him? I'm just sort of confused why Lonnie Anderson would go on the Deliverance tour. Honestly, my interpretation of it was always that she was craving the D from yours truly. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Now, let's listen to that again, what I just said. And let's just go through it and just pick it apart really carefully. It's an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry

we call showbiz. All good, interesting stuff. Yes, that's true. I guess when you say it so fast and you hear it over and over again, you maybe don't realize that the words have meaning and they were chosen carefully by two mega successful superstars.

And that the show, the crap language. Yes. And what it's describing is a show that is good and smart and has good things to give to you. Oh yeah. And when people listen to it and they don't understand when, if they don't listen to those words very carefully,

they might think the show is not good. Yes. Sometimes I post about it online. Or they skip those words. Maybe they get in the car with their friend and they didn't hear that part and they listen in the online or they skip those words maybe they get in the car with their friend and they didn't hear that part and they listen in the middle or they were going around they were letting their friend in the car and they were going around to get in i'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt there may be something there's been a misunderstanding but

they still have to be a part of a punishment segment called ain't, which is where we read things that different people wrote and we explain to them what actually happened and why their perspective of the show was not right this time. And in this modern culture, we're so saturated with media that it is easy to maybe be writing about a different show, but you're accidentally in our forum, or for you to be reviewing something else, but you accidentally did it and said us. And so it's easy to be ant-wrong, and what we try to do as a service is go, don't ever do this again.

Shame on you. And so, I actually think that this first one, but most of these are about, we were on Comedy Bang Bang recently, yes. I actually think that this first one. But most of these are about, we were on Comedy Bang Bang recently, yes. It had been a while since we'd been on there, and that's one of the jokes. So this is a comment about our Comedy Bang Bang episode from Dirk Diggler. And now I actually do think, like I was saying, that this is what you had brought up,

which is that he is thinking of a different show. He is actually posting about something else. Yeah, okay. So he says, I adore Hollywood Handbook and Comedy Bang Bang. Sean and Hayes are my favorite podcasters. So far, so good. So far, this is a very good, interesting comment.

It sounds like he knows the show. I thought this episode was disappointing. Sean and Hayes are hysterical in their own right, deliberately not understanding CBB games gets old quickly, and they've been doing that bit for a long time. Okay, interesting. Okay, I guess... I actually don't think it's interesting. What I'll start off with is Ant

Wrong. That's an Ant Wrong. I took a drink at the wrong time. That happens. Ant Wrong. Here's why I said it's interesting. Because the first half of the comment, he was right. And what maybe happened is he copied and pasted from a comment he was putting on a different episode of something else.

Yes, I think even he knows that he maybe made a mistake. Yes, because he actually knows the show is good and is interesting. And therefore, the episode we did was not disappointing you know what i mean it it does feel like they must be for two different comments about two different things well he loses this person's mind halfway through the thing he's just a club he's clumsy and i and i've you know almost spilled something before so i understand this is a comment on the comedy bang bang subreddit from figgy cow he says this was a really bad episode wrong it was a it was a very very good episode it was one of the favorites of the year by fans it was the best episode they've done of that show and it was a

strong episode for us just in terms of podcast and just so you know because you weren't even there for this scott afterwards was like hey i'm sorry for doing all my other episodes so bad before this one which yeah became the good one and he did apologize and he offered us a bunch of dough he took out all the cash he had on him which was a lot he was wearing like a vest made of it we said no we'll take some of it yeah we took a little bit because on it we weren't that mad but actually figgy cow you weren't that mad. And actually, Figgy Cal, you weren't even there for that part. And Figgy Cal, if you want to take down your comment, that's okay with us.

This one's from The Loniest Monk on the same thread. Did this episode come off as unlistenable to anyone else? Well, this is a question. I've got your answer no and ain't wrong for even asking that question to anyone else that implies that you did find it unlistable but you must have listened to

it you should be downvoted into oblivion friend maybe he's referring to figgy cow oh and maybe he's saying like he's saying the episode that figgy cow just had where he was writing a comment i don't want to read yes he's saying did this comment come off as unlistable to anyone else and he said episode by accident so it should be unreadable what he wanted to say was so that is actually wrong did this comment come off as unreadable to anyone else and what he probably wanted to say after that, and maybe got so disgusted with Figgy Callie couldn't keep typing, was great episode.

So episode's already in his head. Yeah. This one's from The Fish from Vermont. No, my worst nightmares have come true. Wrong. No, this is a freaking wet dream. Believe me, buddy, you'll know when your worst nightmares come true. Yeah, when your worst nightmares come true,

it's when I found you and I see you trying to write a comment like that and I freaking pass out. Punch your computer out! Punch your computer and when I'm hitting the computer, believe me, I'm looking right at you going, I wish this computer was you. This one's from, I don't even know how to pronounce this one. It sucks so bad. Toy banned me on the Earwolf Reddit.

Spoiled my Monday. No, ain't wrong. Monday rocks No. Ain't wrong. Monday rocks now. And he says, oh, well, y'all have fun. Ain't wrong. You have fun too. No, you're the one having fun with everyone because it's a, did you hear the intro to the show?

It's funny and smart and good. And we're nice guys and we're funny and we're doing great shows. That's what we did on the show. I should say, I'm having fun the most. And so, we also want to do something from the Mike Lawrence episode, which people did like for the

most part, but we got a couple comments on it that we do want to refer. In general, they were very positive it that we do want to refer in general they were very positive but something we want to refer to son of a mama referring to you talk about midnight special oh yeah i mentioned that show yeah and son of a mama says i love hh. But I don't really care about Sean's take on film. His criticism is a pretty huge nitpick, IMO. I think everyone agrees the film loses a little when it gives away some of the early mysticism

for a concrete answer on the child's powers, but it far from ruins it. There are plenty of plot turns afterwards, and the fate of everyone is not set in stone for sure. I remember Sean also complaining about how Imitation gave Sped Time one characterization over the main plot line. Comedians aren't good critics, and his reasoning seemed fairly weak. Wow, that's really ant-wrong of you.

Boy, that's ant-wrong, son of a mama. Let me think. There's really only one thing that's ant-right which is i love hh although you're even ain't wrong about that because if you love hh you do really care about sean's take on film because the whole fucking show is just my fucking take uh and hayes's take on fucking media and television and film and hollywood and actors and people in the entertainment industry and the way they behave. And that is what HH is. So basically you either do love HH or you don't really care about Sean's take on film. And maybe you don't care about my take on film because you just wanted to put out

your take on film and have your little moment where you get to feel like Sean on Hollywood handbook, who gets to tell everybody what he thinks about the different things he sees and you're going to now be the smart guy and actually know what's really going on in Midnight Special and that you actually have to admit in your review that everyone agrees the film loses your words a little when it gives away some of the early mysticism. Well, the whole fucking first half of the movie is just hinged on you being curious about the early mysticism and the cult and all that. And it essentially is just the audience sort of putting together the puzzle pieces of trying to figure out exactly what's going on. And my experience was as soon as I'd

gotten the edges of the puzzle in place, I found out that the entire center of the puzzle was just one big piece that got dropped in in a moment, but I still had to sit there and look at the finished puzzle for another hour and 20 minutes. So my experience at the film was not that enjoyable, but you liked it. So I guess you are the person who does have a take on film we all need to hear. And is it true, I guess, that comedians don't make good critics? Is that a good characterization to make that an entire profession wouldn't make good critics? A profession who basically only thinks about media and people and structuring stories and jokes and trying to come up with ways to surprise. Comedy is just surprise. We've gone over that, which is something that

maybe a lot of films want to try to do too, is give you information in an entertaining and surprising way. And isn't that what comedians want to do? And I also wonder, since you know so much what jobs are good critics, what exactly is your job that makes you such a good critic? I mean, I know that you're on Reddit writing a comment, so you must be, what, the fucking A.O. Scott from the fucking New York Times? Or are you just some fucking schmuck

who didn't like what I said about a movie because you liked it and maybe you feel dumb that you didn't get what I said about a movie because you liked it. Maybe you feel dumb that you didn't get it, that they screwed up the movie. And by the way, if I don't like the fucking parts of Imitation Game where it's a bunch of little kids acting and I did like the other parts of it and I wanted to stop going back to that, that doesn't mean that I don't understand the concept of characterization. It means I didn't enjoy watching that part of the film. And I'm allowed to say that without

someone taking the entire profession, which, by the way, I'm not really a comedian. I'm actually a fucking screenwriter, and that's what I get paid to do more than, I don't do fucking stand-up jokes, okay? So, yeah, I think I thought a lot about stories and fucking putting them on the screen for people

to enjoy. So, that's just a side note. But what is it that you do again? I can't remember. So anyway, it's a nitpick to you that from 40 minutes into the film, I don't like the movie anymore. I don't know. That doesn't feel that nitpicky to me. There were plenty of plot twists for you.

Let me ask you something, son of a mama. nitpicky to me. There were plenty of plot twists for you. Let me ask you something son of a mama. Was there any point where you didn't think the kid was going to get to the fucking drop zone at the moment that he needed to be there? That's a spoiler. No. You knew he was going to

get there. Did you not know what was going to happen after he said like the aliens live in the world but they're just in a lair that we can't see? No, you knew that you were going to see the lair of aliens and he was going to walk in there. So the movie was over. So son of a mama

maybe next time you want to write a comment on Reddit don't be so wrong. Okay. And I Oh and he's reasoning seemed fairly weak you wrote there. It should be his reasoning. Yeah that is wrong. Yeah I... Oh, and his reasoning seemed fairly weak. You wrote that. It should be his reasoning.

Yeah, that is wrong. You know, I did... I did, like, the movie. Oh, yeah. Hayes liked Bandai Special. So that was it wrong. We're coming back, and we're going to have a guest this time

on Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook. So, Max Weinberg and I, we're dim sum. We've almost made it all the way through the whole cart, through the whole dim sum cart. Do me some of that. Eat the cart. I'll text him and I'll say, you want to go eat the cart? And he'll say, yes, let's go.

And so we're finishing up, and he puts the chopsticks kind of under his top lip. They're coming down in a way to make him look like a walrus. Very funny. That's what I said. If I start laughing. Yeah. walrus very funny that's what i said if i start laughing yeah and he his face kind of like scrunches up like he's gonna cry after he does that he looks really sad and i'm like matt max what what what's wrong and i guess he wasn't he felt like i was laughing at him and he wasn't doing that to be funny he actually

was very self-conscious about what i would think well okay so he wanted to look nice do it oh he was doing it to be handsome for you i think he was trying to impress me and be handsome and think that i would like to see him with such big teeth. Aha, because Dracula's sexy in our culture today, the Twilight movies, as much as I think that's perverted and sick to have a monster be a sex symbol, Max doesn't know that. Yes.

Now, so did you at any point, when you wanted more dim sum and they sort of go by with the cart, go, give me some of that? No, I understand that's your thing. But when I said it, when you wanted more dim sum and they sort of go by with the cart go give me some of that no i understand that's your thing and but when i said it you had no big laugh there was nothing there well i now i'm self-conscious you think when you laugh i'm gonna get my feelings hurt because i'm saying it i'm saying it just to be handsome to you give me some of that um oh that's too bad

that he's such a whiny we Weinberg that he got sad about that. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names. Are those people still out there, Brett? I feel like I heard a noise. No, that's just me. You made a clumping noise? Yeah.

Because outside there were people before doing all sorts of moving around. There were people outside, and Brett wants the door open, and it's hard for me. I would need to have it to my back or something, but when I can look and see outside, I feel like I can't record the podcast right. And dropping names in this industry we call showbiz. A what-up-what-up. And earlier before you heard us.

I'm going to close the door. I'll close it. I don't want it open. That was me clumping, but. I don't want it open. And he's doing the clumping again, and it did sound like that was him before. And what I was saying is earlier before you heard a song with a singer.

And they were playing music. And normally you just hear the song and it's on tape, but that was a live performance. Yeah, that was a special live edition. And you're thinking, wait a minute, yeah that was a special live edition and you're thinking wait a minute i didn't hear a song but you did and you always hear the song on the show and it's the theme song and it's from the show and it's written by a very special woman uh and very proud noble woman and a song woman.

Her name's Annalise. And why did she play it live? Because she's here. So Annalise is here. And you. And sing into the microphone, but in just talking. And give them a what up, what up. A what up, what up.

Hey, and that's those pipes. What a nice voice. Those golden pipes. Annalise, we love when you do songs for us, and we loved the song for this show, and we love the other show song that I guess other people weren't as enthusiastic about because it did not get a lot of attention for the show. But we thought it was good, so that's on us. That's not your fault. Thank you.

Now, we've loved how well the song has served us. It maybe has peaked. I saw a tweet the other day that said it may be the most beautiful song ever recorded. Maybe, maybe not. I also saw that. I was involved in the writing of it. So maybe it's time for us to get fresh, get now. Maybe we workshop a song today.

Not get fresh with, you know. No. When he says that, that's not what he means. I would never cross any lines like that. Some people might, but some people might. And the music business is like that, isn't it? It's very much like that. Yeah.

It's always like that. Who's the freshest? Who's the freshest one you've worked with out of all the big names? In a bad way. In a bad way. In a bad way. And not Michael Jackson bad way. Man, there's so many. Yeah.

And even one name. Right. And Brett, by the way, is in the music industry. And Brett knows, too. Yes. So if that's the name you say, Engineer Brett, I'm not going to hold it against you or him. But he might.

But he may. He might hold it against you. Or try to. Now, what I would say is it's time for us to have some transparency in this industry, isn't it? Yes. And to actually show people what the process is of writing a hit song like our original theme song.

Yes. And so let's just crack in and just give us a ukulele strum and we'll just hear a little bit. Just one. Just strum it and just we'll hear the quality of it And that'll give us inspiration And where are you transported to? Hum

Hum And where did that take you, Hayes? The beach Yeah, I felt like I was on the beach as well Do you know Jason Mraz? I'm familiar with Jason Mraz. He has a ukulele, huh? Yes, he does.

Is that it? Yes. Is that his? This actually is his. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. And so, isn't that exciting, listeners? Yeah, it makes me a little scared.

Oh, yeah. Come in and throw his hat at me. It looks sharp. Yeah. Now, okay, let me think of what a good song would be It looks sharp. Yeah. Now. Okay, let me think of what a good song would be because I got a little bored of the last one from listening to it too much. Mm-hmm.

Even the best stuff, there could be too much of a good thing. And that's good transparency because a lot of these guys say that they can listen to their songs forever and they still like it just as much. But the truth is you get bored of it and sometimes you don't even hear it anymore. You ever gotten sick of one of your songs, Annalise?

Oh, yeah. Even you? You throw up? Even me. No, I've never gotten actually physically ill from listening to my own music, but I've certainly grown tired of it. Lucky you. Yeah.

And was it your favorite song at one point that you got sick of because you played it too much because you thought it was so good? Was it your favorite song at one point that you got sick of because you played it too much because you thought it was so good? It's kind of like how the latest thing you do is always your favorite thing. Right. Yeah, yeah. So something that you thought was really good and then hindsight you realize. Like the Jake and Amir episode.

Exactly. I've gotten sick just in case you guys are wondering. Physically sick. Yeah, I barfed. Well, you do a lot of noise experimentation trying to generate physical response. Certain waves. From my own guitar solo one time, it was so kick-ass. I barfed. Wow.

Blood and. Wow. You know, I believe you. We have a fresh musician here. She doesn't seem to believe you. I heard that was a lot later that you played the guitar solo, but then it was like a month and a half later. That you threw up and then you said it was from the guitar solo.

And that the day before you threw up, that some of what you ate was not something people would normally eat or categorize as food. Is that true? Yes, that's true, but you can't say the one caused the other. But you can say that about your much earlier guitar solo. Yeah, yes, I can, because it was so kick-ass. Everyone agreed.

What were some of the big notes you were playing that were so good? The big notes? Yeah, like, was it we're talking power chords or what? There was like a good like a and make you look a little sick.

Yeah, that actually makes me sick. I'm sick. Now, Annalise, can you play that note for us just so we can hear it not from Brett? I mean, can you... What was...

I don't think he has a lot more of those. He doesn't have a lot of vocabulary around music. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but whammy bar it. Oh, yeah. I didn't bring the ukulele with the whammy bar. Oh, damn. Okay.

Bad luck. Next time. Well, what would be a good... What's now? What are people listening to on the radio that they think is so good? Yeah. Something gritty. Doesn't it feel like music's gotten grittier?

You know what I really like about music right now? I feel like it's taking a turn towards acoustic. Oh, wow. I feel like people are going away from... All this overproduction and this anthemic and it's like, let's strip it down and just get into the nitty gritty. That's right. Yeah, like Pink said.

That's good. I do want this to be about drinking and stuff and having fun at the club. We definitely want people to be able to listen to it at the club, which is a big complaint about our podcast that people, sure, they're having fun listening to it, but when they put it on at the club, it kind of shuts the place down. Okay.

So just the idea of like, because it can be gritty and stripped down and all that, but just this idea of like a razor glass kind of sentiment. Not exactly razor glass. No, we can't say that and we've checked. Yes. But we could say something like tip your mug. Yeah. Yeah.

Can you give us a taste of like a tip your mug kind of anthem that is about Hollywood. A tip your mug anthem. Yeah. That's about getting fucked up, getting blitzed. That's about A-list stars. That's about transparency. Entertainment. That's about being the number one podcast.

And that's about having fun with your friends and girls. Oh, and it's a smart, funny, nice show with cool guys who are fun to be around. Okay, let me see. Let me see if I can think of something. Maybe like a... Oh, geez. Let's see. Like, hmm. The tip your mug thing is sort of.

You want me to come in with that? Do you want to do, that's the part that's giving you trouble? Yeah. Do you want to just do, take care of the other stuff? Because I'm having a hard time picturing that. It should be done pretty aggressively, I think. Maybe take care of the other stuff and I'll interrupt the other stuff. I've done pretty aggressively, I think. Maybe take care of the other stuff and I'll interrupt you by insisting someone tips their mug.

Just when I feel it. It should be like, hey! But you just take care of the Hollywood A-list celebs, nice, funny, smart guys doing a fun podcast with their friends, partying, there's girls. And you're ready to blast off. And I'll be the guy that

has the mug and is considering it. Yeah, I'm telling you. Okay. And hug rhymes with mug. And Brett's got that on the chamber. Maybe something like Hollywood handbook where there's smart, funny guys. There's always tons of girls around. Everybody's getting fucked up.

Because it's the Hollywood Handbook. Kind of like that. That's so good. And I didn't even find a spot to say, hey, tip your mug. It makes me want to do it anyway without having to even be peer pressure. Wow. Because it feels like everybody's having so much fun. Yeah, because it feels like anyone who's not tipping their mug is probably not able to really enjoy the song

and probably can't listen to the podcast and have fun either. Right. Gosh, that was good. This is okay. Can I say what it's missing maybe? Yes. It's just the sort of lemonade element of like maybe we're mad at someone.

Sure, that's a good idea. And we're going to forgive them. And maybe it's Earwolf. Maybe a specific time. Yeah, that could be interesting. Maybe it's like Kevin Pollak that we're mad at because once he said he would be on the show and then rescheduled on us

and then didn't reschedule again. So maybe it's about that specific moment and like but like just alluding to it so people can like be speculating. But we want to also forgive Kevin Pollack and maybe we release this song on his podcast. Right. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I think I do. So like one you know one time. Yeah. So this is like the second, it could be like kind of the second verse. The second verse. This is going to be much longer than our first song, I think. Okay. Yeah.

So should I say his name? And are you feeling this? Yeah, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. Say his name? Yeah, Kevin Pollak. Say Kevin Pollak. Yeah.

So it's not like, it's not like just, you know, we want him to know, basically. Yeah, it's not subtle at all. Okay, okay. Yeah, that's what I was looking for. We'd like him to hear it. So... It should begin with one time. Mm-hmm.

So one time Kevin Pollak was supposed to be on the Hollywood handbook. And he said he was going to reschedule, but he never did. And he might have missed the biggest opportunity of his life. What an asshole. Yeah, except the one sentiment I would like is like we still. Oh, okay. We would have him if he's free. Yes.

Yeah. Okay, so maybe more like so this one time Kevin Pollak was supposed to be on the Hollywood handbook and he said he was going to reschedule but he never did and we're kind of mad but if he wanted to come back we'd probably still have him that really works for me

that gets a lot of it across i like that he knows that i'm kind of mad yeah because i don't want him to think it's okay like a total push but i don't want him to think like he didn't totally blow it because like yeah like if he's free he's got a lot of you know big fan base yes definitely has time you think yeah you would think so i think so you would feel like he might. Again, it's another guy who I don't want his hat thrown at me. Yes. You know, between him and Mraz. He'd slice your head off.

Oh, gosh. I'd be in ribbons. I'd be shred to ribbons. So this is really good. This has been going great so far. We've got a lot of the message. Do we have to break it down at some point to do like a sort of percussive thing? Like a stomp?

I know you don't have drums here, but anything can be drums because of stomp. Yeah, or we could just do the like. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Okay. Okay, great. Brett really wants everyone to know that he likes music as well. It's very important that he convince everyone that he likes music.

It's important for him, and so we don't want to stifle Brett at all. If he's got an idea, Brett, musically, what do you feel? I'm just here if you need me, you know, just producing the whole thing and, you know, play a couple instruments. Yeah, this is just the sort of jam sesh before we record it, so you're not producing it. Okay. But that doesn't mean don't, like, mess with the board or anything.

Yeah. Right. But we never had a conversation about you being a producer on this song. about you being a producer on this song? Well, I put this rug down and these candles, and I have my tambourine. I thought this was the musician episode, and you were going to interview me about how much I like music. About some of your musical ideas?

Okay, well. Okay. We can get that out of the way pretty quickly. We could carve out a little time for that. Yeah. Yeah, well, if we have time for that that could also maybe be this verse

yeah yeah Annalise would you mind doing a verse that just sort of establishes that Brett likes music so that we don't have to deal with it

for the rest of the episode okay so like engineer Brett producer producer Okay, so like Engineer Brett Producer, producer Producer Brett Engineer, engineer, engineer Who's actually an engineer

Wants us to know he really likes music Plays a tambourine Sounds kind of like keys. Producer Brett. Makes a lot of claims about playing music. But none of them have been verified. How's that? I think that's fair.

That's pretty generous. That's generous, Brett. That they haven't been verified? Well, I... It covers all our bases legally. I wanted you to notice also the melancholy tone of the verse that was... Yeah, it brings us down a little bit.

So we are going to have to come back pretty strong. Yeah, we're going to have to really blast off with the next verse and you put us in that spot. It was really Yeah, it brings us down a little bit. So we are going to have to come back pretty strong. Yeah, we're going to have to really blast off with the next verse. And you put us in that spot. It was really sad sounding. I thought it was going to be more like an anthem. As a professional musician, I just am a mirror of your energy. That's what I was getting. That's felt like what I was kind of getting.

She's an artist. You can't ask her to falsify, you know, a verse about you when it's sad to see you doing this. It's going to make people sad, Brett, for you to be sort of trying to wedge your way into this song when, quite frankly, your tambourine is keys. The guitar solo happened a month before. You straight up ate, I'll just say it, drywall.

Don't say it. You ate drywall. And you said it was cookies. And then you threw up from it and you said, that's from my guitar solo that was so good. And when we asked you what notes were in the guitar solo, you made a screechy sound and you couldn't name any of the notes. And then when you started naming them, they had numbers, not letters.

Right. The fret number. I hope that's what it was. That almost sounds like your name, that you just made something up based on your name. Yeah. I just made up the note based on my name? This fret thing, because you're Brett. Oh, right.

Two Ts. Brett is part of music. Two Ts. Brett is part of music. Two Ts. Please, Brett. I'm fretting about you right now. I'm worried that you're not well. Now, I have noticed there's some new posters up outside in the hallway, and one of them actually has a picture of Adam Sachs.

Do you know who that is, Annalise? No, I don't. So he's the big boss of Earwolf. I appreciate you saying that, even if you do know who he is. That's very sweet. Now, is it strange, because you know who we are, that there's no photo of

us on the wall, even though we won a big award in LA Weekly. And there is a photo of Adam Sachs on the wall, even though he didn't win that award, and in fact, no one else at Earwolf won that award. I find that extremely unusual. It's very strange, isn't it?

What would that sound like in song form? It's kind of trippy. And we can stay in the sad part. This is more just like a questioning. Yeah. Like, where is the love? We're kind of lost. Yeah, kind of like, where is the love?

Yeah. What's his name the love? We're kind of lost. Yeah, kind of like, where is the love? Yeah. What's his name again? Adam Sachs. Adam Sachs. I know. But if you want to call him Adam Snacks. Oh, okay. He is not a big guy, but... That almost helps us get away with something like that.

He's actually in very good shape. It sings nicer. Yes, and this can be sort of like the Becky version of it. This is who is Adam Snacks. Yeah, Adam Snacks with the good hair. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty unusual, Adam Snacks

Has a poster on the wall in his own office But yet, Sean and Hayes who won a gigantic award in LA Weekly Go on unacknowledged But that's okay, I guess that's the way snacks likes it But we're still wondering, where is the love? Yes! That's good. Wow, and we can where is the love yes that's good wow and we can't find the love

where is the love for Hollywood Handbook where is it but now we need a big like cause like to get us into the show big blast off

okay to be like get ready maybe returning to the world of everyone getting so fucked up and like we did like the idea that of everyone getting so fucked up.

We did like the idea that everyone is getting so fucked up listening to this. And there's girls everywhere. Yeah, they're always around. Yeah, and here it comes. And so maybe this is the time to tip your mug. Yes, that might end up working out. Okay. Let's see.

I don't play the ukulele that often. So I only know a couple of chords on it. Yeah. But let's hear the different ones and we can sort of think about pick one. Yeah. Which one's good. There's this one. This one. This one. Yeah, so that's about my... The range? I would say the second one almost. I like the second one too.

Yeah. Okay, okay. It was hard for me to tell where the different ones began and ended. But for me being, of course I know a lot about the circle of fifths and that music is

math. Yes, that's correct. Although Brad it's letters to say the notes. And I think you know that. Can you speak on the idea, Annalise, just for people listening, that music is math, please? Oh, that would help us. Well, yeah.

Music is, in fact, math. Yeah, it is, isn't it? As you said. And let's stay in that area and let's dig into that a little bit, this idea of music being math and them being the same thing. Maybe even speak on that. Yeah. Well, you know, everything is based on numbers in math, and everything is also based on numbers in music,

hence how music is related to math. Oh, wow. This is a rogue production technique, I think. And that's producer Brett really trying to make it known that he is still in the room, even if he's not talking. And he has a lot of ways to influence the show. I just wanted to highlight the point. It's really important, I think, people know music is math well maybe actually

brett if you do actually want to be a help here that if this last verse is going to be like the real blasting off yeah but you can add some elements so it's like everyone's getting really pumped up and like like their bodies are starting to get to a place where they can like listen to the show by the way um like i know for a lot of people, music is very mathematical because they've probably studied it for a long time, like Engineer Brett. But I just had natural ability, so I didn't really. Oh, okay. So to me, it's just all based on.

You just kind of feel the music. Exactly. You hear it. You hear it. You play it. I know it's rooted in mathematical principles, but it doesn't really apply to me. Yeah. So what do you know? You just heard some music, liked music, picked up a ukulele, and all of a sudden you got a music career.

That's right. As opposed to somebody who maybe read a lot of books about music. Spent a lot of money on an education. Bought a lot of Beatles t-shirts. And then sort of tried to make it all about the numbers, when a lot of times it's got to come from your heart and not your head. I could not have said it better myself. Yeah, and not just your head, but it comes from your heart.

Yep. So maybe this last verse is about, oh, go ahead, Brett. What were you going to say? If I put on that reverb, it's not, it's my idea. It's my production, not yours. Okay. Well, okay. So maybe in this last verse,

we talk about how Hollywood Handbook kind of comes from the heart and how we're winning. That's a good idea. I'd like to talk about how we're winning and we're on top. Yes, that's a good idea as well. I'd like to mention everyone else kind of having to get down and suck on these and kiss this

and just blow off and fuck off I'd like to say that we are kind of the champions and that everyone else could kind of and maybe this idea of eat this and blow that.

Get out of here and go away. Yeah, just beat it, busters, and just go away. And just make room for the big badasses coming through. And so certain people who are listening to this show will know that it's not even supposed to be for them because they're in trouble as far as we're concerned. Yeah, and then maybe if they don't like it, maybe that's intentional because it's actually supposed to be something they don't like that's making fun of them almost. Yeah.

Some of the people who work here. And so it might not hurt to have it say that we're tough. Right. Do you know what I mean? And you're feeling that probably, Annalise, being around us. Just some of the stuff we're saying about making people go away and sort of implying that we might beat them up. Very intense, though. Yeah, because you're on the right side of this thing.

Thank God. Yeah, luckily, right? Because of the intense energy. Luckily, right? Because of the intense energy. So I guess if our toughness came through and how we're on top and everyone else kind of sucks and has to suck on this. Okay. And get out of here.

Yes, and please do beat it. Okay. And not the head. Okay. Oh, thanks, Engineer Brett. Oh, you got it. Thank you. I didn't take lessons.

He's helping. That production is outstanding. And Brett's being a helper. I didn't take lessons. And you've never taken a lesson? Self-taught. Self-taught. Okay.

You said... Doesn't add up. Go ahead, go ahead. Yeah. Okay. Those guys can... Wait, what was it? They can beat it and...

They have to get down and suck on these. And also, we're winning, they're losing. They have to get out of here. And they really should please beat it and be feet. And if you could say I produced it, that would be cool. Okay. And kiss off. You, Brett, should come up with...

That was Sean that said that. No, no, but you should come up... I don't remember who said it. I'm not mad about the kissing off. I think you should come up with your producer tag at some point. My producer tag? Yes, like how the different DJs. There is already a DJ mustard, so you can't be that.

But you know how they say, like, this is Brett's. You know, like something like that. Cannon. Yeah. In song? I've never heard that in a song. It goes at the beginning. This is Brett's, you know, like something like that. Canon. Yeah. In song? I've never heard that in a song. It goes at the beginning. This is Brett's production.

It goes at the beginning. Yeah, so you think of something like that, but we'll do it wild, and we'll plug it in at the beginning. Okay? So don't do it now or the song. We want to get this point. And to let them know that it's new shit.

Yes. Do you know how to do that? This is new shit produced. Yeah. Okay. You're getting close, yeah that? This is new shit produced. Yeah. Okay. You're getting close. Yeah. But it should be, yeah, very short.

Okay. So now this is the verse about us beating everyone up. Yeah. Okay. And how tough we are. Yeah. And should I just direct it towards like, you know who you are? Is that the vibe?

That might be good. Yeah. Because it might then frighten some people yeah who we don't didn't even intend it to yeah okay

let's see you know the thing about the ukulele is it's it lends itself to pacifist gentler music it's not as tough

yeah so it's hard for me to... You might have to really strum that thing then. Yeah, okay, okay. Let's see. Maybe it's... So, let's see. That was scary.

Yeah, that was feeling... That felt good. I'm trying to pick up your guys' super intense energy right now and channel it into the song. Don't get both of us at once. Yeah, I'm giving you all the heat I got. So maybe something like, You know who you are, and you can suck on these and just beat it.

Because you need to make room for us because we're kind of a big deal, and there's not enough room for our egos in this room. And I think you really know. Oh, you guys, I'm not quite sure. You're not sure about what? I'm not quite sure where I was going with that. That was so many of the points we were hit. And the anchorman was in there.

A little bit the not enough room for our egos in this room felt like maybe, that maybe felt like just too many rooms. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So maybe just staying on the theme of us being strong rather than our ego, which is really, we actually don't even have one.

We're actually really big humility guys. And Hayes, do you want to talk about that a little bit? Yes. If I were like a jerk, then I would have to beat myself up and be mad at myself. But actually, it's everyone else who's bad and we're good. Yeah, because I am so interested in justice, if I had a big ego, I would actually pulverize myself and get

totally wiped out and would just be a big mess. But instead, I'm brave and And it's everyone else who's getting punched out. Yeah, and they have to because of my code. Got it.

Got it. So maybe it's something more like, okay, code. Got it. Got it. Got it. Okay. So maybe it's something more like, okay. You know who you are because you're terrible and we're super great and humility is a really big deal to us. We're going to kick your ass if you don't get out of

this room because we can't stand you and I can't really say specifically because there's so many people but you know who you are and you can suck on these and beat it, guys. Good.

Yep, that's feeling good. That's good. They're gone. That's feeling good. They're almost gone. Probably a combination of those two. I lost a few of the talking points as I was going along.

Oh, well. There were so many. Just that we're on top. Exactly. There were so many. Just that we're on top. Exactly. There were so many good ones. And there was a mention of us being tough, I think. Yeah, it was implied. She said room again, I noticed.

Oh, well, Brett! I didn't say she couldn't say it at all. I said the one line where she said there's not enough room for our egos in this room. Maybe you had too much room in this. There's only one room this time. And and this is a room yeah and actually she is feeding off the energy of where she is which is the room now haze do you want to have her lay down a little bit of a strum and then you'll just slap in some of your voice on it i know you've been very upset that your voice wasn't on the song.

And a lot of times when people talk to you about the song, you go, well, I'm not even in that part, so why are you bringing it up to me when people mention liking that? Yeah, that sounds good. Where is this going to go in the song? Is there like sort of an interlude? Yeah, this will be. Where I can sort of do my thing?

Mm-hmm. Okay. So if you just want to give him like a gentle strum. And this is going to be sort of like a philosophical, sort of a tangent that sort of gets at the heart of sort of my perspective on things, which I just want to get. That'd be great.

I just want to get represented in the song. I'd love for you to have that space. Okay. All these people running around. Where's everybody going? Skiing? That's it. That's really good.

And I genuinely do want to know. Yeah. That was amazing. How much reverb do we have on this right now? Is there a little bit? I took it off for you. Took it off, okay. Okay.

Maybe I miss it. I mean, should I get a similar sort of philosophical idea out there? Yeah, sure. Just so it's sort of even-handed? Yes. Yeah. Man, the way this world's got so crazy. Seems like people forgot about what's really important.

It's keen. And that's it. So, I mean, is that feeling like we're hitting a lot of bases? That's good. That made it sound more like he was powerful than mine did. I assume we can put that on later. We can fix that. No, this is just a live.

Well, do you have any other ideas you want to get out, Hayes? I can try and think of some. Throw some reverb on it. Try it again. I can try and think of some ideas. I mean, you could just freestyle a verse, too. Okay. Because that one I spent a lot of time on, but I could try and do one where that's just sort of off the top of my head.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Driving. What, you don't like my production? Oh, Brett. Now you see what I do? What was that filter, Brett? Oh, God.

Say it. He's going to throw up from your guitar solo. Say it. Sounds awful. I hate it. What did you do? I'm producing this. You intentionally bad- bad produced Hayes. What kind of sound was that?

A telephone filter. My own sort of recipe. Well, you should have told him that because then he could have made it sound like he was calling the song and tell the song something. Let's try it again. With that filter? No, no, no. Something that's

not. Because if it's that filter, he should be calling the song to warn the song about something. Yes. Was that supposed to be a telephone? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, it's just. Warmy.

I don't want to just be suddenly on a telephone anymore. I enhance the nasal frequency. Peanut butter and apples Is not dessert Mom Give me a real dessert Good. And that's something I've been wanting to get out there for a long time.

Yeah, that's helpful for a lot of people to hear that. And did you have one more? This is a good time to sort of unload some of this baggage. Oh, boy. Now, well, before we even talk about it, am I going to be calling the song to tell the song something, or am I just going to be sort of... See, that didn't even sound to me so much like I was on the telephone.

I did it halfway. I split the difference. Exactly like what you asked for. So, yeah, do you want to say, like, hi, song? So you're saying something to the song. Yes, okay, yeah, I can try something like that. More people should say that. More singers should be like, hello, song.

It's rude. I mean, Annalise, you work in music. How rude do you feel like people are to the music? Very, actually. Yeah, because they're almost never addressing the song or talking to me who's listening. Right. You know what I mean?

I know exactly what you mean. It's supposed to be a conversation between the singer, the song, and the listener. And the audience, yeah. What about when the radio host is talking over the song? I hate that. Maybe you can tell him to stop talking over it. You know when they're playing a song and they're talking over it until the lyrics start? Brett wants to get a message out as well.

Yeah, he's got a riff ready. So I guess Annalise, go ahead. Give him the backing track. Listen radio radio DJ don't talk over the intro to the song until Sean's voice starts. I hate that.

Don't do that anymore. That's all I'm asking. You're supposed to say hi to the song, too. So you were actually being rude. Yeah, that's too bad. Okay, now Sean, do your thing, and then we can stitch all this together. Okay, and this will be sort of in the form of a together. Okay, and I'll just, and I'll probably, this will be sort of in the form of like a freestyle. Okay, great.

Uh, uh. Yeah, give me the beat. Here we go. I'm gonna start. Gonna start at one, two, one, and two, and three, and let's go. Gonna drop it in a second. Boom, here it comes. Yeah, give me that beat. So we almost got there. Oh, and a high song. So we almost got there, and I think that I don't want to blame the beat or anything like that, but we were really close. It wasn't really giving him a good opportunity to jump in.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It was such a strong. And, you know, most songs these days have what is known in the business as a drop. Yeah. A a drop. Yeah. A big drop. And that's a place where Sean could really find his way into the song.

That's, I think, what he needed there. Instead of the jump rope thing where he's kind of just hesitating on the outside, being like, okay. Yeah, waiting, seeing, like, I know that I can do it, but I don't know when. It was going a little too fast. Do you feel that the producers edit out a lot of you talking to your songs? Sometimes. That's been an experience?

Yeah. Because I know a lot of times when I'll see the live version of your stuff, you're really in a dialogue with that song. Yeah, I suppose that's true, actually. You're going, hey, thanks for doing that last chord, and now I'm going to do some lyrics over you. Hope that's okay. It gets romantic in a very sort of muted way,

where you want to keep it very professional, I think, for the show, but it seems like you and the song sometimes have... A moment. Yeah. What was Snoopy's deal? The bird can hear him? He could talk to the bird or he can't? Because they're friends, and he seems to say words.

Yes, but what they say sounds different. They're not speaking the same language to each other. Charlie can't hear either one of them. No. No. No. Brown. So what's going on with that? What is the story there?

In the Peanuts verse. You know, I'm not really familiar with Peanuts. You don't know it? Okay. Okay. Well, that's the show. Okay. Well, thanks so much.

Okay. Okay. Well, that's the show. Okay. Well, thanks so much. And the pro version, I guess, is, you know, Annalise is just going to take us out singing about the Peanuts, which he does know about it.

And that will be given to... Yes. Who's a good guy? Who's a good guy? There are so many new ones. I know. It's hard to keep track. But I don't want to look. No. We won to look. No.

We won't look. Did Han Lads ever get it? I mean, probably. Okay. I mean, I don't want to look is the thing. But you are looking at something right now. I know. But something else.

Yep. Well, Abraxas El Godson. Oh, okay. Great. Is just a name I thought of. Okay, good. So now we're just... Give him a little scoop on peanuts.

A little song about the peanuts. Okay. Even though we don't know who they are. Linus got a blanket, Lucy moved to football. Pigpen. Pigpen, such a dirty guy. Schroeder played piano, like you. Oh dirty guy. Schroeder played piano like you. Oh, yeah.

Schroeder. Mm-hmm. I remember him. Yeah. He inspired you. Mm-hmm. He was a big inspiration to me, actually. That's what I said.

Yes. That is true. Actually, it's like you're correcting me, but that's actually what I said. Let's see. So should I mention the characters in the song yeah okay i don't really know that much about peanuts but lucy moved the football and charlie brown i'm not quite sure but i think he fell for it every time and Snoopy sleeps uncomfortably on top of a doghouse

and communicates with the birds mysteriously somehow. And I'm familiar with Schroeder. Why are you pretending not to know about the peanuts? What do you gain from not teaching me? I'm not pretending not to know.

I'm just... Everything that I know is pretending not to know. I'm just, everything that I know is just through pop culture. I haven't delved in deeper than that. Right, that's it. Bye. Hollywood Handbook is brought to you by

Wolf Cool Productions, a subsidiary of Calvin and Hobbes. Ow, baby. That was a HeadGum Podcast.