Hollywood Handbook - Aparna Nancherla, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: July 9, 2018

The boys are joined by APARNA NANCHERLA to do a huge crime.This episode is sponsored by Simple Contacts ( www.simplecontacts.com/THEBOYS20  code: THEBOYS20)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. that was me yes just the two with Nate Corddry I was Hayes Davenport the good Hayes man you were Hayes Davenport but you said you were

with Nate and Hayes yes but I'm right but that was me you were with yourself yes you were really feeling present

yes okay the best feeling is to feel like you are just hanging out with yourself and best feeling is to feel like you are just hanging out with yourself and Nate Corddry. And that you are 100% yourself. Your true self. Yes.

And we are inspecting the ravioli just to make sure no surprises. I'm not interested in any surprises from this. And people may not know this about you, and you go to especially an Italian restaurant because you've said you don't really trust those guys. You will bring a magnifying glass, and each piece that comes out, you'll sort of dissect it, take it apart.

With the magnifying glass. Look at each individual thing. Look at the whole. Slice it open and then peek inside. Yes. Because I have been burned by this. You've gotten tricked before, yes. Where there's cheese in there as a secret or something else.

Yes. Or like one Easter, I made myself an Easter egg hunt with raviolis. Raviolis are kind of like Easter egg of Italian food, certainly. Yeah. Of all the Italian foods. That and tortellinis. Those are like kind of the Easter eggs. Yeah.

And so I hide some pennies, toys, things like that in my ravioli to hide for myself the next day. Yeah. Then, of course, wake up. Of course, ravioli to hide for myself the next day. Then, of course, wake up. Of course, I'm going to have a midnight snack. I eat my big pie of raviolis with all the pennies and toys inside. And the tortellinis in which I had hidden clues. As to find the rest, and so now there's still some missing. Still some raviolis with toys inside. Your wedding ring was in one of them. Yeah. Your security card. Yes. And so now those

are inside raviolis somewhere in the house. Yes. And I am, I don't know how to put this delicately. I am every few days blasting out a clue. Right. Okay. And so then you've got to whip out the magnifying glass and get down into the toilet. And I see a clue that says, don't be slow as a little warm. Go to the place that makes the house warm. Fireplace. Okay. I know right away. Sorry, and maybe our guest

can even help me figure this one out. Don't be slow as a little warm. Yes. Like worm? Yeah, but it has to rhyme with. It rhymes. Okay. Don't be slow as a little warm. But it's spelled. W-O-R-M.

But you just know, even when you're reading the first half, when you haven't seen the second half yet. I'm so good at these clues. You know that it's got to be mispronounced. Yes. Because the back half is, you're rhyming warm with warm. Yes. Yeah.

Like some of these rappers. You know, how they just take the same word and they'll rhyme like tushy with tushy. Yes, I have heard some of that. Who are you thinking of there, Juvenile? Yes. Yes. The tushy song. Well, okay.

So you went to the fireplace and you found old raviolis. Great. Well, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lined back hallways of this industry we call showbiz. I love to taste the words every time. I love how you've been taking your time with this stuff a little bit, and it's really nice for the audience who doesn't know what to expect. And it's fun for me to try to find your rhythm.

Well, we're here with a guest, and isn't that always so special? And we often have a guest. Yes. Well, we don't always have a fucking corker. We actually don't always have a corker. Sometimes the guest is fucking stinked. We're going like, uh-oh, what are we going to do? But this time I'm like, oh, I guess we just

freaking wind her up and watch her go. It's freaking Aparna. Hi. It's freaking Aparna from the corporate show. Hi. Hi. Are you kidding? And now we've had everyone. freaking a partner from the corporate show? Hi. Hi. I'm here in the studio. Are you kidding?

And now we've had everyone. From the show. We've had the whole corporate cast. Except Anna. Annie Dudek. Yeah.

And Lance Reddick. Lance Reddick. You could have them together. Have not had Lance Reddick. He is often sort of lingering on the periphery of our shows.

He will hang out. Oh, outside. Or like in the room. He's at Earwolf a lot. And he'll just kind of be chilling. Just observing. Yes. Yeah, but he doesn't feel ready.

You can sometimes hear us on a show be like, do you want to come? He's like, you know, I'm just chilling. And then you just hear from the corner like, no, no, that's okay. No, no, no. Is he prepping for a role? Yeah, he's going to be a podcaster. He's playing Scott Ackerman in the movie. Yeah, there's the big Earwolf movie coming out, and Lance is going to play Scott.

Wow, that's a great casting choice. It's a big prestige movie. Yeah, all the big people are involved. Yeah, and him as Scott I think is going to really work. He's going big prestige movie. Yeah. All the big people are involved. Yeah. And him as Scott, I think, is going to really work. He's going to be able to pull that off. Yeah. The wordplay. The wordplay.

Yeah. The acronyms. The sort of, if you see him in the parking lot, he's a little bit nastier to you than if you saw him in the office. I had an encounter with Scott in the parking lot recently where Scott was unwilling to engage him in the way that Sean was hoping to be engaged at that moment. And it's also, it's because there were other people around. If it had been us, here's the thing. And it's sort of like, do you know how to be complicated?

Yes. Well, so I do too. What's one part that you know about it? Okay, go ahead, yeah. It feels like it's primarily addressed to one person. Yes, yes. So for me, if I'm singing it, that person's probably Scott. Yeah, yeah.

And what I'm saying to him. We all have that person that we're singing that song to, don't we? Yes, who's your Compl, don't we? Yes. Who's your complicated? For me, it would have to be the sushi man at the store. Yeah. Oh. At the grocery store.

Yes. Because one-on-one, you guys have a real thing going on. But when there's a big line around, all of a sudden, he don't know you anymore. Yes. And he doesn't want to answer any of my questions. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Aparna, who's your complicated?

I hate to be on the nose, but maybe my therapist. Yeah. Yeah. Why can't she just, like, why is she acting like she's somebody else around everyone else? Yeah. Yeah. Why won't she acknowledge me in the elevator? It's very frustrating.

Yes. That is weird. That is so strange. Because they're not supposed to tell secrets about you and stuff. Yeah. But they can. A simple hello. Well, they don't have to pretend like they don't know who you are.

Or that you're a ghost. Yes. You know, which that's almost more hurtful. Yeah. They're not even going, like, they're not even pretending that there's no relationship outside of this. Yeah. They're acting like they are alone in the elevator. Yeah.

But they have, like, there's, like, a chill in the elevator. Right, right. They get cold. Visibly, they put on a scarf. Yes. They don't have to do that. No, it's not necessary. They could just sort of be like, oh, hello.

And that would be the same. It would be the same effect. Yeah. Rather than loudly going like, it's always creepy to be alone in an elevator like this. Yeah. Getting frosty in here. So Aparna. Yes.

Are you just loving everything right now? I'm sitting pretty, I would say. And all this stuff? All this things just keep happening. Are you freaking out? Well, I think that's how it goes. Everything happens at once and then

nothing happens for a while. Okay, we can cut this shit, right? Yeah. Let's shoot us straight. But let's get down right? Yeah. Let's shoot us straight. But let's get down to the thing. No, yeah. Let's really get it. We saw this movie.

Okay. Okay. I don't know if you know about this one, but you're going to want to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's one of the – I think it's the first one like this. Yes.

It's about these eight oceans. It's not about that at all. No. Okay. It's not. We had just finished Planet Earth 2. Yes. And we saw that there was a film of the eight oceans.

And we thought, well, we're loving – Oh, got it. Yeah. You were on a natural world kick. On a little bit of a kick. Yes. Yeah. Yes.

Of just learning about this beautiful blue planet of ours. And we said, oh, well, this will be nice. Yeah. And there's also some stars, I guess, who we assumed were going to be swimming. Right. Now, when we go to see the movie, it's not what we expect. Were we disappointed? No.

No. Because every time you know who, I don't want to say his name, closes the door, he or she or they open a window. And I don't want to say the name, but I'm talking about freaking the big boss. The big boss. The real Scott Aukerman. The real Scott Aukerman in the sky. That's right. Yes. The big boss. The real Scott Aukerman. The Scott Aukerman in the sky. That's right.

Yeah. So as we're watching and we're not seeing any fish, we're starting to go, well, what is going on in the movie then? Yeah. We have a little conversation. I'm like, obviously this is not – what is happening in this movie is not what we thought was going to be happening. So what is happening? It was probably around minute 55 that I went, hey, I don't think they're ever going to get to the water.

Right. Yes. Were there any oceans at that point? There might have been an exterior like... Some cars are driving by them sometimes. Okay, okay. But here's what is happening in the movie. We figure out the big stealing.

The big stealing. The art of the thievery. The freaking most, like, unbelievable taking away. Truly epic is a phrase that's maybe overused. Sure, yeah. Truly epic for the win is maybe not used enough.

Yeah. Either way, this movie's both. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. The stealing they do is off the charts, lights out, insanity, cool,, super cuckoo crazy awesome fun.

And the way they get away with it, I didn't think they were going to pull it off. Hayes, did you? No, but now, guess what? They have the jewels. Oh, my gosh. And I don't know if you heard. Have you heard anything about Anne Hathaway in this? No.

Well, and this is just a rumor. We don't know for sure, but we did a little research when we left, and apparently, and I don't want to say this is definitely true, but this is what I've heard, is that she was saying it actually felt good to play bad. Whoa. Yeah. I actually, I'm not sure I believe that myself. Well, because, yeah.

She might have said it feels good to play good. That makes sense. Yeah. That checks out. Or that it felt very bad to play bad. That playing bad felt bad, and I can relate to that. I, of course, am a naturally sweet guy. Everybody thinks of me as kind of a sweetie and having a warm energy.

And then on the podcast, I have to play this character where I'm kind of— You're kind of a bad boy. I'm not wearing like a ball. A little nasty. Yeah, a little bit nasty and a little bit, yes, just socially challenged. And that doesn't feel good, I mean, to play bad like that. But it's in service of the show. Of course.

Just like the movie needed someone to play bad. Yeah. So we go home and watch the rest of these. We yell into our remote – Oh, the whole franchise. The oceans. Yeah. And now we have watched a total of 44 of these oceans.

Oh, my God. I guess I missed some of them. Well, if you add them all up. Oh, I see. I see. I see. Got it. And so here's the thing.

We start thinking about what's the equivalent of the jewels in like what is it sort of an allegory for in modern life? Yeah, in terms of. If you think about it. What do the jewels represent, right, in our actual lives? Yes. Podcasts. Podcasts. Oh, podcasts.

And the computers at Earwolf. Who's that? Friend. That felt like scary, like someone was listening to us right now. Yeah. And also sort of heckling us a little bit. Now I got to change my frigging iPhone ring again. You know how people, the Crickets one is going to be sold out.

That's bold. When you're doing a set, that feeling when you're doing a set and someone hits you with the freaking Crickets ringtone. Yeah. You know that? That feels like the light of podcasting, like wrap it up. Yeah, time to end the show. Yeah.

Yeah. But as with the light on a stand-up stage, we do not pay attention to it. We pretend we don't see it. Okay. Blow right through it. We face the other direction or we lie down. Yeah. So then later, you're like, oh, I was lying down.

So then you just go forever. You're lying down on the floor. Yes. It's very hard for them to get rid of you in that case. Anyway, the jewels are the computers at Earwolf. The jewels are the podcasts. And some of the other stuff. And these offices.

Well, this is obviously the richest podcast company in the entire nation. It's got to be. In America, yes. So I got to think, like, okay, if that's the case. And Gimlet's a close second. Oh, yes. So I got to think, like, okay, if that's the case. And Gimlet's a close second. Oh, sure. This is not to take anything away from Gimlet. No one is trying to denigrate Gimlet.

And we're friends with Al Zink. Oh, we love him. Are you? Yes. Wow. Yes. Abex Lumberg. So we actually have decided, just like they do in the movie, we can't pull this thing

off by ourselves. Right. We need somebody with some special skills. So there's a little bit of a job interview, and as far as corporate, you know. You realize, yeah. Yeah. We've been watching some of your skills. Okay.

And we like what we see. And you just happen to be scheduled to come in here at this time, so this is great. That helps us out. This is perfect. Okay. Well, then we'll have multitasking. And let me say this. Oh, go ahead.

With these oceans, it used to be just guys doing the stealing. But the thing with the Ocean's 8 is what we're realizing is the girls can play. The girls can play too. It used to be all the girls were allowed to do was pretend to be Julia Roberts. Right. In the best case scenario. Right. Her special skill was being Julia Roberts.

Being Julia Roberts. Like who played her. Which, if you could do that. Like if you could. Yeah, why not? Be Julia Roberts. Feels like that would open some doors. That would be huge.

Well, for Earwolf, if they thought they were booking Julia Roberts on a whole bunch of shows, but she was requesting they bring some of the equipment to her apartment in order to record. And then during that time, we would know exactly how long they'd be out of the studio for. Because they're interviewing Julia Roberts. And we construct an apartment in a truck and back it up to sort of a door. So we open the door and say, okay, just load the stuff into this apartment. It's got a couch in there and stuff. Looks like a real apartment.

Then as soon as it's all loaded in, we fill the truck with gas. Yeah. Just get it on the road. Drive away. Uh-huh. So you know what this business is like. Imagine Josh, Julia Roberts walks in upstairs. Imagine he's like, oh, go, go, go, go, go.

Oh. Oh, yes, Mr. Roberts. Oh, no. Yes. I don't even like to imagine it. I don't know Josh. It's disgusting. He sounds like a character.

Well, let's talk a little bit about Josh. I know that when we are stealing, we do have to be careful. You want to take some things, but you don't want to take everything. And I know that Josh's computer specifically has a series of booby traps. What? And I guess if you try to hack into his computer, as soon as the revenge porn laws were passed, he recorded a bunch of stuff of himself. Yes. So that essentially if you try to enter his passcode and the computer realizes it's not him, it releases.

He revenge porns himself and then you have committed a felony. Yes. Oh, my God. Booby traps describes the mechanisms on the computer and also some of the images and videos that he has on the computer itself. Yes. There's no other way to describe what is being seen in those videos and images other than booby traps. Booby traps.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's like a thirst trap, but you'd have to know Josh. Yeah, I mean, it's devious, but in another life, you know, he could be on your team because that's pretty. Well, in the next movie, probably. In the next movie, we might find that we're teamed up with him against some other villains. But I wanted to ask you, you know how this business works, sell yourself.

Oh, my skills. Well, I'm great at looking at screens. Oh, yes. That's huge. Because I get such a headache. Yeah. It's so small. I'm just, the glare doesn't bother me.

Whoa. No matter what you're doing. Do you have the blue light, the glasses that block the? I used to, and now I just go raw. You're actually immune. You've actually become immune. Oh, you raw dog the computer screen. Yeah.

Oh, that's cool. You need a special light for non-screen experience. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm seeing these orange glasses that you're wearing are very cool, but now I'm wondering if they're not for fashion reasons. It's for IRL.

Wow. And she's really become one with the internet. Yeah. Okay, so you're going to look at screens. Can we meet Julia for a minute? Oh, Julia Roberts. Please, please. Yeah.

She laughs a lot, right? Uh-huh. Yeah. Just like you've been doing throughout the show. It's infectious. It's just like it hurts. It gets me going, yes. Oh, that's going to trick Josh so bad.

Miss Roberts. Yes. Miss Brockovich, please, right this way. When was her last movie? Julia? Was it Mother's Day? Probably? I don't even know.

No. No, Money Monster. Money Monster. No, it's got to be Wonder. Oh, yes. Wonder. She was Mrs. Wonder. She was Mrs. Wonder. Gotcha. Well, that's why you don't test the haze, yes. Wonder. She was Mrs. Wonder. She was Mrs. Wonder.

Gotcha. Well, that's why you don't test the haze, man. I know. You're good. This man comes loaded for bear. Thank you. So one of the other things we need to figure out is obviously podcast computers. That's all well and good.

But we got this boss here, Colin Anderson. Now, the inside of his office is like a freaking crazy museum. And we got to be able to get all of that stuff out of there. He's one of these adult nerds. Okay. And he's collecting all this awesome. Have you ever been to the bad robot offices? Yes, I believe so.

It's so badass. So I was there about a month ago. Yeah. And on the shelves in the waiting area, they have these toys. Yeah. And optical illusions and stuff. And so I see this bowl that looks like mussels and broth. What?

And it looks so lifelike that I thought – You rage for it. I thought for sure this was going to be wet if I touch it. And I'm looking at it and I go, man, it's so incredibly realistic. I'm going to see. I know it's fake, but I have to know for sure. And I reach out and I touch it. And no sooner had I touched it than a young intern came over and yelled at me and said, excuse me, don't do that.

He said, it's kind of like a museum here. Yeah, you can look at stuff, but you don't touch it. And I was like, well, you should have a sign then. Because people are going to want to touch these muscles and bra. Right this way, enter the world's shittiest children's museum full of fucking toys for babies that all these adult people care about. And so I thought that would be a good sign. And then as I start to research, some of these crazy toys and toy men and animals are incredibly valuable. Colin has every Funko Pops.

I don't know what that is. You know these Funko Pops? Sounds valuable. He's got Rick. He's got Morty. He's got Ren. He's got Stimpy. Oh, wow.

Okay. He's got all the silly bands. Yeah. He has every pog, every fidget spinner, everything, every snap bracelet. Jesus. This is Funko Pops. I'm showing you. You ever seen one of these guys? Oh.

You have to be a Funko Pops, Aparna. I guess I need to. Aparna, when are the corporate Funko Pops coming out? I need to. Do the heads move? A little bit. Not in a way that's satisfying. Okay.

They made Funko Pops for this show I worked on called Ash vs. Evil Dead, and I've never been so honored to be a part of something that became Funko Pop. Of course. Now, I couldn't afford it, but Colin's got them. He's got every single one. He's got Ash and Evil Dead. Yes. He has them both. Wow.

So what I'm thinking is we got to make basically a special separate run to Colin's office. Just for all of his collection. Yeah. Collections. And I think that we're going to need somebody on the inside to do that. Engineer Ryan, Engineer Ryan. You know what could be good? We are – so Ryan is the engineer at Funko Pops Magazine.

Wow. And he has a big sound. He's got his microphone or whatever, one of his strange musical toys. And he comes in with Aparna, who is playing Julia Roberts, who is interviewing Colin for Funko Pops magazine. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And of course, before the interview, we will have to put all your computers in a bag.

Because no one wants anything to leak from the interview. Yes. And all these computers have little cameras. Yes. Yes. So Hayes and I come in, big coveralls, big Carhartt coveralls. Yep. And we just go like.

Just moving it. Got that over there, boss. And then we got like these big freaking canvas sacks that we put everything in. Are you sure nothing will be damaged? Yeah. Well, guys, it's not my first day. We'll take good care of this stuff. I'll hold it right over here.

Don't you worry about this. You just worry about doing a great interview for Funko Pops magazine. I'm a longtime reader. Hey! Shh, Kevin. Shh. Hey, Chef Kevin. Kevin, someone has entered the room.

You woke up my doggy. I know. I'm really sorry. I woke up the doggy. But you understand Chef Kevin is here. Chef Kevin's here. And he can't hear about the big stealing. And he can't.

No. So, Chef Kevin, hi. Good to see you. Kevin, did you have any questions for Aparna? Be cool. Okay. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here.

Hi, Aparna. How's it going? Hi, good. A lot of people sick of Chef Kevin online. Yeah. So, like, what's up? How was your weekend? Oh, it's fine. How's your weekend? Oh it's fine

Just laying low Chef Kevin I think in the interest of transparency You should tell Aparna what people said about you online Like what specifically? That they're sick of you Yeah So

I think. That sounds hard. Yeah, it happens. Like, I've been a part of this show. I think I've leaned a little too much into it. And the general public's like, all right. They dial back the Kevin. Why don't you take a step back?

Enjoy the view. How does that feel? That sounds hard to hear. Yeah, it is hard. I'm not, I think I'm a little too sensitive for this industry. Imagine how hard it is for us. It's our show. Yeah, I know. We've been working hard on the show for so long

and people don't like it. I mean, you know, I guess in a way it's maybe unfair because you, of course, never asked for it and were forced to be on the microphone and now you're getting just kind of dragged on Reddit. But at the same time, why would you ruin our show? I mean, we've been doing this thing for years. This is important to us.

I would say I've never intentionally tried to ruin the show. Often I'm put in situations that I never asked to say things that... An example of a way that you could ruin it is we have Aparna here. Let me ask you this. When you go to the Twitter highlights, are you ever under

the comedians tab? No, not yet. Ever? No. Aparna's on it every single time I look at it. Oh my gosh. She's always under the comedians tab. That's great. Because Twitter knows I like comedians. So why don't you get yourself involved with somebody who's under the comedians tab in a way that has some substance

and ask a question that's not how was your weekend, but maybe like, how do you get in the funny zone? Or one of our other famous questions that actually comedians love to answer. Hey, Aparna. Chef Kevin here. Like, what's your secret? What? Close. I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing my secrets on this podcast.

This isn't the spot for you to release the big secret? You wouldn't do a big announcement on here? I think I'd have to tee it up if I was going to drop a secret. It's a pretty big show. I'm not saying it's not a big show. Yeah. I just have to plot my career accordingly. Yeah.

And now is not a good time for secrets politically. Can't put it back in the tube. Right. Do you want to talk about some of the plots you've done up until now that have sort of come to fruition? Like what are the plans that have gone well? Sure. I had a fairly active vine.

And I think I had a good time. That's the sweet spot, huh? I had a good time with it. I'm not on Snapchat yet, but there are rumors brewing about it. Whoa. That sounds like a plot. But is Instagram Stories just eating Snapchat's lunch?

What? The what? Instagram Stories. Instagram Stories just eating Snapchat's lunch? What? Wait, the what? Instagram Stories. Instagram Stories. That does feel like the direction we're moving in, but I'm still not on there. Whoa. You're not on Insta? I'm not on Insta Stories. But if you're on Insta, you're on the Stories.

They're right there. I haven't checked them. Okay. All right. Wow, they're right there. I haven't checked them. Okay. All right. Wow. They're right there. Whoa. So the amount of restraint that you're exercising there is like you would pass the marshmallow test.

Well, yeah. I think it's like tantric sex. You just got to wait. Yes. Thank you. This is a huge thing for us. Yes. We both have had sex, so we're comfortable talking about it. Yeah.

But we do not bust famously. Yes. No. Yes, I am saving my love for marriage. That's canon. So let's get back to the plan, but maybe in a way that we're not telling Chef Kevin exactly what the plan is. Okay. Well, here here's what we do. Chef Kevin is here.

Chef Kevin is essentially the guard. Is there a way to make Kevin the inside man without him ever knowing he's helping us? Yes. Oh, maybe we have Chef Kevin, he's like the guest on the show. Like we're doing a special celebration with Chef Kevin. Finally, yes, it's like the guest on the show. Like, we're doing a special celebration of Chef Kevin.

Oh, we're finally, yes, it's like an anniversary or something. Meanwhile. So, okay, here, start doing that. Hey, so, Chef Kevin, I don't know if you realize, but it's actually exactly a special amount of time since you started appearing on the show. And even though we give you a hard time, we really do appreciate you. And we wanted to give you a second to talk about some of your interests. I have to get some water for my voice.

I have to go out for one second. Okay. Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. I think I'll start prefacing my appearances by apologizing. If you need to skip through this part, I get it.

But okay, so here we go. Yeah, people were saying that they use the 15-second skip whenever they hear Kevin start until they just stop hearing him. That's horrible. Yeah. It's pretty brutal. It's a pretty specific observation.

Parni, did you have any new stand-up jokes you wanted to try out on Kevin as like an honor, you know, because it's like his birthday or something? Oh, well, I was thinking about doing a bit about Whole30. Okay, yes. And so great area. I was wondering if you feel like that has traction with you right now. Is that like the diet thing where people do a food thing for 30 days? Oh, see, perfect, so he knows it.

So you do know it. Is that my laptop? What the heck? Oh. Okay, all right. I got a huge hole. Okay, so, oh, God. Oh, boy.

I shouldn't have eaten those old raviolis. I've got to be excused. Pace is back. So I got the honey. Yeah. First of all, honey is like a term for the haul that I got, but I also did get some. But you also literally are holding honey. I got some real honey.

Uh-huh. I got this computer. Yeah, that's my laptop. You have again. And I found outside somebody was searching on their laptop. Oh, come on. The best things to do in San Francisco. I'm going on a trip, Aparna.

Oh. I've never been there, so I don't really know what are things to do there. Yeah. So I was Googling what are fun things to do there. I'll save that for Sean. He'll enjoy that. And look at this. I got these shoes.

I got the cuckoo and wee-wee shoe from Who Charted. You ever do Who Charted? Yeah. Did you do it in the cuckoo and Wee Wee shoe from Who Charted. You ever do Who Charted? Yeah. Did you do it in the Cuckoo and Wee Wee days? Yeah. This is the most valuable shoe in the world. It's vintage. Oh, my God.

They are not doing Cuckoo and Wee Wee show anymore. There's no more Cuckoo. They look unworn. See? Mint in box. Mm-hmm. You know, Cuckoo not doing the show anymore.

I didn't realize that. Imagine now how much you want this shoe. I want to wear it. Not even my size, but I want it. Of course I got this shoe for Adam Sachs. Former CEO of Earwolf. Another very valuable shoe. Sean.

I got this laptop. I thought you would enjoy this. Yeah. I got this laptop. I saw. I thought you would enjoy this. Somebody was searching on this laptop. Oh my God. Sean has a bunch of stuff too. Sean, somebody was searching the 22 best things to do in San Francisco. Whoa.

And he was currently looking at number one, the Golden Gate Bridge. That feels classic. Oh, wow. Which I worry a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. It's a little dark. Maybe a cry for help. Come to think of it, last time I saw Kevin's computer open,

he also was looking at the Golden Gate Bridge. This was months ago. Wow. He has a thing with the Golden Gate Bridge. Well, I got a pretty big haul. Yeah, oh my gosh. So this is Kevin's name tag. And now, okay, normal name tag, right?

I would call that a name plate. Name plate, name plate, yes, yes. That goes on his desk. So okay, just a normal name plate, right? So no big that a name plate. Name plate, name plate. Yes, yes. That goes on his desk. So, okay, just a normal name plate, right? So, no big deal. Not worth much. Uh-oh. It turns out that the felt underneath part of it has a freaking Sklarborough Country freaking insignia engraved into it.

So, this is actually a signature Sklarborough Country name plate. You cannot get these anymore. Because the show left Earwolf. Yes, it's off Earwolf. That's scandalous. Yes. Acrimoniously. They went to Farrell, which I think is thriving.

I haven't heard exactly what's going on with them lately, but they definitely went over there. So it seems like that was a smart move. And then also I got a broken flute that you gave Kevin. We finally got that back from him, Hayes. I know that you never meant for him to actually take it. How did you give break? I didn't give him one of the main pieces.

You didn't give him one of the pieces he needs. And then my wife threw it out. And then there was one Udi's gluten-free soft and chewy plain bagel in the freezer. It seems to have been there forever. And there's actually even coupons on this thing. Get $7 when you buy three items.

Eat well and cash in. Well, I think that's what we're doing, baby. Okay, let's keep going. And then, Barney, you do your Julia routine, and you get a couple heists. Okay, is that all right? Yeah. Dude. Okay.

Dude. 11 plugs on this freaking power cord. That's a phone call. So, Kevin, what songs have you been doing in your cover band lately? So I'm in a Rage Against the Machine tribute band, Aparna. And we're working on Testify, Calm Like a Bomb. Is it really a tribute? Like, I understand calling it a cover band because you're covering their songs,

but is it a great tribute to Rage Against the Machine for you to play their songs? Yes. Well, a cover band plays a variety of bands, I think, and a tribute band plays specifically one band. Yeah. I got called out in the Reddit for that, too, for saying it was a cover band. People were like, is it, though?

Okay. Have you thought about working in one more song from somebody else? I should, and then call it a cover band. Yeah, make it a cover band. What would be the one song that a Rage cover band would play? Ryan, while we're talking here, now would be a very good time to go steal stuff from Earwolf. Do a freaking big steal. Okay.

Kevin, can you record this for me while I have to pee again? Okay. He didn't pee have to pee again. Okay. He didn't pee before. Yes, he did. He did. Maybe he just meant in general in his life. No, but I've been talking to Ryan for a while now, and he did pee before. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Kevin just gave me an idea. Kevin just gave me an idea What if we steal the stuff that actually is in the studio Yeah, all this stuff's been right under our noses the whole time This mic I'm talking into Does it come out of the thing? Please be careful It's a little stuck.

Ryan's going to get so mad. Mine's freaking stuck too. Hey, why is this stuck? People steal that. Mine came right out. What the heck? Oh, wow. Well, part of that wasn't safe for it to be like that.

That could have hurt someone. There's sparks everywhere. Wow. Yeah, these will get really good resale at Gimlet. Oh, yes. Our friend Alex Inc. Gimlet's going to pay through the nose for this stuff. Imagine a freaking Sklarbro Country Kevin Bartelt nameplate, a freaking cuckoo wee-wee shoe, Adam Sachs, all stuff that is completely exclusive to this office.

Can't get it anywhere. And Alex Hank is in a little bit of financial trouble since he put a lot of money into that show. Oh, yeah. Gimlet? No. Adam Sachs' show. No. No.

Alex Hank. The real life Alex Hank. Oh. Yeah. Leveraged all his dollars. Every penny he had. He made one big bet on Zach Braff. Yes. Oh no. To tell his story.

Came up snake eyes. Aparna, would you do a podcast? Would you host a podcast? I could see you being a good host. Now this is Kevin's version of the big heist. What do you think about doing one? Wow!

Wow! Oh my god. Wow, Ryan. Look how happy Ryan is. This is Ryan's new calling. I've never seen him so happy. Kevin, are you getting photos of this freaking gear? Wow. That's everything needed to do Spontaneanation.

Wow, he got the freaking Spont buttons. He got that Pelican case. These are, look, it's the real Spont buttons. Oh my God. From Spont. You ever do that show? No, I've heard of it. Well, you never will because they're ending it.

Now the buttons are gone. They're ending it. But now, are gone. They're ending it. But now, actually, you would be so great on spot, and Kevin wants you to host a podcast. Maybe I'll take it over. Do we have these buttons make money for us where we get a partner running spot? Oh. Do you want to do a spot real quick? Should I just start it from a different location?

Yeah. Well, that's how they do it. But that's fake. When they say, like, oh, the location is... It's usually people submit locations for that show that are, like, normie places. Because it's a very elitist show. So they'll be like, the freaking, like, Waffle House or whatever. Because it's like that's funny restaurant where Norm eats.

What is the intro? She does her whole 30 bit. Oh, okay. No, I haven't heard the bit, but I love the area. I haven't written the bit yet. I was running the premise by you. What's the idea? Just like what's the deal with all 30?

Yeah. Like why are people doing this thing? Yeah. That's how Paul does it. It's just all off the top of the dome. Always sounds like he never prepared. It's spontaneous. Ryan, how do I do the buttons to work? You want me to hook them up? Does that, you really have

to hook these up? You gotta plug it in. The buttons have to be plugged in? It's such a simple device. No way. It needs electricity. It's so complicated. Oh, wait. The power's in the other room.

Is there another show? Okay, forget it. We would have to do the candles and stuff, too. Yeah. Candles are in there. Seems like too much work. And honestly, I can see why he's quitting. Yeah.

I bet his next show, I would almost guarantee you, no candles or special machine. I promise you that. Well, because we will have it. Well, yeah, but I just think that The candles are in here as well. The entire setup is in here.

Holy shit. There are candles? Yeah, and he wants it to be romantic. Oh, I see. See? Wow. Now taking out three candles.

Three candles. John turned the lights off. And he turns the lights like this. Have you guys all done this show? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we did a couple times. Hayes and I have done it twice.

It was similar to Chef Kevin on this show, where a lot of people didn't really like the way we did it. And it was mostly my fault, but we were hoping to get one last blast before we have to kiss that show goodbye forever.

Paul, not mentioning it, and we're approaching the end of the track so fast I just don't think it's gonna happen. I have an idea. Please. It's very dark in here right now. Now would be a very good time for a certain celebrated

actress to enter the room. Aha! And allow us to make our getaway. Okay. Oh my gosh, it's Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts, you're here? That's me. Julia.

Julia. Wow, I thought you were doing, you must be doing a movie. Are you doing a movie right now? Uh. Oh, Julia. Wonder 2. Wonder 2. Wow.

And I hear you were shooting it at a very special location in San Francisco, and you're looking for someone to go with you. The Golden Gate Bridge. Wow. Oh, my gosh, Julia, wow. Well, we know someone who's, you know, disturbingly obsessed with that exact bridge. Do you think there's any chance that he could kind of hitch a ride

on your private plane? Sure, I usually travel by truck. Oh, right. Oh, okay. Well, then why don't you guys get into the truck? Okay. Hi, Julia. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for the ride. Introduce yourself. Hey, Julia. Chef Kevin here. I'm sick of that. Oh, I read about you online. Whoa, I've heard about you online, too. Nice to meet you.

Thanks for the ride. The main place he's heard about Julia Roberts is online. Nice to meet you too. And Ryan, what time is it in the show? It's about 47 minutes. The perfect getaway. Julia, do you have any shows that you want to plug? Yeah, anything coming up you want to get out there?

Yeah, I'm going to be taking over this podcast on Spontaneanation. Wow, Julia Roberts is doing Spont. What a kid. So that's something brewing for me. And corporate season two you're going to be in. And corporate season two I might pop up as a lamp. Bye. Bye.

I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.