Hollywood Handbook - Aunty Donna, Our Video Friends

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

The Boys welcome back BRODEN KELLY, ZACHARY RUANE, AND MARK BONANNO of Aunty Donna to discuss an important video.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Is there an angle? Is there an angle for this? We'll find it. We're going to be able to feel it when we've struck something. Yeah, sick. And if we don't, the journey is...

Sometimes those are the most beautiful episodes. Sometimes a journey is good. I think that's the saying. You're up in California, yeah? Yeah. Way up here. Yeah. Yeah.

Not unlike striking oil in California, yeah? Yeah. My goodness. Yeah. He speaks the language. So he's done his research as well. Yeah. So he knows.

And so he came prepared with research. I don't know what that means. So oranges, oil, and movies, baby. That's California. And so what do you mean when you say striking oil up in, as in? When they find oil, that's a good thing. Have you ever been to the San

Joaquin Valley? Yes. It's the bread basket of America. It's what it's referred to as. All the food. I should have mentioned bread. I'm sorry. North California, that's where you get your salad. Lots of delicious breads.

Skin or no. You guys have to tour. You guys need to go on a tour. We will be next year coming to. You have to. Are you coming to California? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love it. Yeah. We're probably going to, yeah, yeah. Love it. Yeah. Love it. We're probably going to hit both Los Angeles and San Francisco. Are they both California? Yeah, absolutely. Get the oranges and the sourdough.

Ha, ha. Sean, would you like to start us off? Yeah. Can I have a fucking second please jesus like fuck it started with all business and i'm totally aware of this and i'm really sorry it was when broden was like i'm recording that like with like we're recording now they're like yes it became this whole let's keep it moving energy yeah I'm sorry about that

I'm just the guys over here know me as Mr. Business yeah and that's because I'm about making sure things are moving and tight

was that fair? and I was in the room I was in the room and as much as I think I get it it came off as Mr. Business I think it was more of an FYI BTW

kind of situation So we didn't say anything that was like really sick and like freaky It was like FYI BTW there is recording happening It wasn't like let's get Please be normal

I didn't want to get in a situation where you said something and then down the track you're like I didn't agree to being recorded a situation where you said something and then down the track, you're like, I didn't agree to being recorded for that. And then there'd be litigation. That's Mr. Business. A Phillies hat too. So it's, and that's from your love of Daryl Morey.

Yeah. The Philadelphia 76ers has bled out into the entire city of Philadelphia or just their other sports teams the story of the hat is that um are you aware of jimmy pop are you aware of jimmy pop simple yes or no are you aware of jimmy pop it's a yes or no question it's feeling like no right now but you will be once once a few more hints get like it's crazy yeah you the thing is you don't you don't even know we call oh okay so here we call that popcorn no no no no no no that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard i didn't know who jimmy pop is jimmy pop

all right but once you'll know who jimmy pop is jimmy pop is a man not a snack it's funny to sit here and go there's two people who two people who have no idea that in one minute's time they're gonna go i know jimmy pop you know jimmy pop you do know jimmy pop oh wow do you know jimmy pop i we know we know jimmy pop okay no googling as well i don't want any of that sort of you know a producer bringing up a screen and showing Wikipedia of Jimmy Pop. No, no, I don't want that either. Yeah. Jimmy Pop is the lead singer of the Bloodhound Gang.

Okay, I do know Jimmy Pop. Yeah. I know Jimmy Pop as well, yeah. Okay, good. They sing the fuck song. Mammals. Yeah. They're going to fuck like mammals tonight.

About sweating and fucking like. Yeah, the fucks on you man so Jimmy Pop recently sent us a care package saying you know here's some Philadelphia stuff so he got me a

Phillies hat he got me a James Harden jersey tell them what they got me Jimmy Pop got Mark a baseball card. No. No. Oh, no, sorry. It looked like a baseball card.

It's a Star Wars card. Yes. Of Jar Jar Binks. No. It's Darth Vader. I don't know why I fucking get you to do anything. He gave me a limited edition baseball card with Jar Jar Binks on it. Wow. Wow.

Wait. Sounds like he was close. It just wasn't said in the way that I would have said it. And so I just. Sure. Yeah. No, I can see why. Yeah.

We're recording, by the way. We're recording here. We're recording here. We're not going. He sent me a don't care package oh really what was in that just like just a big fuck you pooh poohs it was just no it was like rappers like candy wrappers and stuff it was like empty empty candy like a babe ruth yeah we we don't have babe ruth's here um You can only get those kind of candies at suburban stores that have American flags on them.

And they're all out of date. You can't get a Babe Ruth candy anywhere. It's a baby Ruth. No, it's called a Baby Ruth. Oh, it's called a Baby Ruth. Ask for a Babe Ruth. Well, yeah, see, that's what I'm saying. I'm trying to express that I don't.

You can't get a Reese's Piece anywhere. Did they change it? I thought it was always named after the player of that, what's that? Baseball. Yeah. We were just talking about baseball. Kevin, you have to use all this. You don't know what baseball is now?

Yeah, I've got a card from Jimmy Pop. You just said baseball before that. Yeah, well, he said baseball card, and then he said Jar Jar Banger. Yeah, they're different. Baseball cards and the sport. What's it? What's that? What's that?

Baseball. Yeah, yeah. They're different. They're very different things. Did I? I don't know, man. I'm fucking, I'm so confused. He was sick yesterday.

I was sick yesterday. Ah, shit, man. Well, how did we do it today? I didn't tell you. It was a mental health day. So, anyway. Can you guys hear that? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah who's playing that who's playing that is that us can we cut can we cut that yeah no sorry guys sorry guys we're getting a bit our theme song this is the way this works is kevin plays the song guys we're getting a half-ass sort of semi-idea that I hope Hayes will help me out with. He kind of does. And then we extend that for long enough that you guys sort of start to look impatient and drum your fingers against the tabletop.

And then we throw to you, the guests, and then you spend the rest of the episode wondering why you had to sit through that initial part. And it worked it's not you talking i don't know if you guys have another idea then yeah by all means but like this has been working for quite a few episodes for us so what number is this kevin this can this better not be 500 do not say this is 500 then we have to scrap it 474 great 470 perfect so not even that's good it's not even a five this is not even a five or a zero that that feels perfect did you want to go through the intro again with that with us knowing that's i don't know do you want to do it like i like i take no pleasure in doing the intro but but yes, please. Yes, please. Kevin,

do it. So, you know, it's early November. So we have our traditions, obviously. Is this what you're after? For me,

I got to take down the haunted house. I think it is. So, you know, do you always talk? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think, Broden? You hear him.

It's pure. Is this what I'm after? It's distilled setup. It's just very different. It's establishing like why now? Where we are in time, what the activity is. Potentially, Broden, if you wait wait there's a bit of a twist on what i was saying uh yet to come but so yeah i'm kind of unhappy with it you've got to me it kind

of sounds like exactly what we're after do you see where we're coming from though this would be the first podcast that we've been on either as hosts or guests where the theme song is spoken over. And if that's a point of difference for you, that's what's getting you your audience. That's not true because you've done our podcast before. No, Broden, it wouldn't be the first one. That's not true. It would be the first podcast we've done it on. Even though we've done this, it's the same podcast.

Broden, you're upsetting them. This is a separate podcast. You're upsetting them. I just think, just pull it back. They're clearly mad. Okay. Just pull it back. It's the mad. Okay. Just pull it back. It's the second time you're doing the first podcast

where this has happened, and the first time you did it, you had no issue. By returning to the same podcast does not make it a second podcast. And I've conceded that. And I have conceded that. That has actually been established in what I just said. Okay.

This isn't... They're being mean. said. This isn't Hollywood Handbook and this isn't the fuckboy show. This is still Hollywood Handbook. There's a way things are done, Broden. There's a way things are done. We're trying to move forward. We're trying to ingratiate ourselves with an American audience. And you've upset one of those doorways one of the most your most classic non-american behavior I'll just say it and what does that mean and what does that mean it's and

what is that textbook non-american yeah what we're seeing you can feel it yeah do you think that's how people make it in in America by being non-amer like this. This is not how they do things. You can put a sheen of Australian-ness, a sheen of Britishness. They like it when they seem British, but you have to behave like an American. And I said, Kevin, you remember? A little nudge, a nod towards the British.

Do you remember I said, Kevin? I said, we can do this. Kevin, I said that. I said we can do this kevin do you remember i remember i said you remember this yeah okay should we start again so you would be on record you remember i said i you remember i said he said we can do it kevin i said we can do it i said we can absolutely do it but you remember say say yes yeah if you If you remember, say yes. So you do remember. I remember.

Oh, that's a relief. Okay. I'm feeling a lot of attention here. I actually feel like I'm about to cry. Would it be okay if maybe, should we start again? Should we just try again, play the theme song again? Just start with a fresh, clean palette? I want to try to do that again.

I would love to move on. I'd like to do it again if that's okay. I'd like to reset. But I'd love to know just a couple of things. One, are you going to talk over it? That's what people do in America, man. We'll be talking over it. Great.

I know that now. And two, we just sit here and shut our fucking mouth. Is that what you want? Just fucking sit here and shut our fucking mouth is that what you want just fucking sit here and shut up uh i'd love something in between where you were not threatening to remain silent for the entire episode and you were not uh being a huge fucking problem for the entire episode i guess i'm unclear about what you even think that is. Yeah. So I don't even want, like, I don't even want to say yes or no.

Having no, I just want to know if I can hang on a second. Excuse me. Excuse me. I just received a text. I didn't silence my text. My wife sent me a tick tock from golden retriever life. So I don't know what this is.

This has been sent. I haven't watched it, but I think that it's possible yeah that perhaps this could kind of bridge our cultural divide we're experiencing and i do think that's what's happening yeah why don't i send this to kevin and we can all together we'll put it up on the screen yeah once again my tiktok wife theemaker, has saved the day. And, Kevin, so you now have a TikTok and the TikTok is

from an account, I guess, called Golden Retriever Life. And we've recently added the capacity to... We have integrated this, so we are now able to... We are integrated with TikTok, and as you can see, we are now able to yeah view this wow

on the same platform this would be great for that okay oh okay so just just for clarity we're seeing a tiktok video here on our watching a tiktok together as a family yeah it says there's a caption here that i'll read for everyone because i don't know if i want to read it while we're watching it we might have other reactions. It says, I asked my dog to record me while I danced for the first time on TikTok. Her reaction is priceless.

I just want to establish so this doesn't cause a huge fucking issue for the rest of the show. It feels like this TikTok is going to be purely scored by a musical track yes and so in order to convey what is happening not to each other but to anyone who is listening someone may have to talk over the music the music will be playing

and we'll be talking which i know for you in particular broden has presented something of a challenge in the past i don't think i have the challenge but go on i don't think i have the i don't even know who are you wanted it to come out who could you possibly be referring to you would love to have another run at that sentence i don't think i have the can i just say i don't i don't think i don't think i don't think I have the challenge. Can I just say- I don't think I'm the one. I don't think- You don't think you're challenged? You don't have the challenge. If there is a challenge-

Are you some sort of- I was saying you wish you could do it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If there's a challenge- No. If someone's challenged- It's not working for you, Broden. Golden life.

If there's a challenge, there's one... It's not with me. Yeah, you said it was Golden Retriever Life. Sorry, I have a few questions. No, there's the username and then there's the... This says Ellie Golden... Oh, Golden Retriever Life. Ellie Golden Life is the name of the user

and then next to it, it says Golden Retriever Life. Yes, and is that the name of the dog? The dog's name is... The dog's name yeah probably is the dog's name is ellie golden life golden retriever life this looks like wearing a harness that says ellie i think it is oh there it is yeah this this seems quite a kaufman-esque because it's the dog is calming kaufman kaufman yeah sorry cauley kaufman um it looks like someone is filming the dog filming it's quite meta well can i i'm quite interested to see someone's filming but the dog is filming the someone

he asked his dog to record him while he danced for the first time on so is it the dog reaction priceless right is it the dog's account it says it there what is it it's the dog's account this actually feeds into a question i have and i think this is relevant to the um bridging of the cultural gap here um is this something that happens a lot in america do dogs film the tiktoks of their owners often or is this more of a sort of a create like a creative thing this is actually so when this is for you yeah well i just want to like clarify and i totally understand the confusion. When this man says,

I asked my dog to record me while I dance for the first time, he is saying this is the first time this has happened ever. So what we are witnessing is... The dancing? It's the first time he's ever danced? It's the first time he's asked his dog to record him. So this isn't the first time this has happened between them. It's not that they don't often do it, Zach.

They have never done this before. I've never seen this in Australia. Right there, for the first time. But it has happened. I mean, it's happening now. So my question is, are we viewing this through sort of the eyes of God? No, the eyes of dog.

The eyes of dog. Oh, the eyes of dog. No, the eyes of dog are at the camera oh the eyes so there's not no the eyes of dog we can see dog that we can see okay so they don't have infinite space to just like explain everything about the production of this but what it is i asked my dog to record me while i dance for the first time on tiktok and another dog to record her while she was so there is a second well did this did ali set up this camera i'm just i, there's just, before I watch a TikTok, I need to understand the context of it.

And this is confusing me. And there is a bit of a cultural gap as well. We don't know if dogs film TikToks in the United States. Do you understand the cultural gap? Right, but we did answer that, which is they do not until this exact moment. This is the first time. Now they do.

I imagine this will kick off an entire phenomenon. Right. But this was posted seven hours ago. We're playing it here, so it's viral. So there's like... Yes. This is an older... This is a vintage clip.

This is an older clip. No, it was posted seven hours ago. Seven hours ago. Yeah. And so there's no way people have mobilized... It's got 800,000 likes. I don't understand. If it's a common thing in the united states to

for a dog to film people's tiktoks how is this a new video no so this is a new version of that video so like movies are old but if you go to the movies now no no no but i think i see the understanding you are thinking that it's a common thing for dogs to film their own dance yeah dancing yeah what i am attempting to explain to you is it is even common rare none of these terms do justice to the uniqueness of this moment yeah because okay is it even rare unprecedented uh until this very day it's not on the spectrum of rarity like the whole concept of frequency doesn't apply to this moment it has that's why never ever happened before right yes yeah yeah this man's wife texted it to him during his podcast record this week on the patreon carl and assan discuss their favorite music videos, the boys chat

with Griffin Newman on the pro version, and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Auntie Donna at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors

or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language?

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They're pulling it. What does that mean? Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. They're pulling it down. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed

something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i'm supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street? They're kind of like, they've got like almost like police clothes on. It may be police. Yeah. And they're standing in the middle. And as I'm driving and I'm cruising, they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost. And they're really aggressively like pushing it out.

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Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Hollywood handbook. slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys but there's some understandable confusion and and and i uh i apologize for it and perhaps i shouldn't even keep bringing up this side of it but it was you know heretofore not only uncommon unprecedented it had never happened in the seven hours since this has been posted i imagine it has been happening so much right right yes yes well that's how tiktok works it is probably

very common and happening right now you know right outside my window or something yes even common it's not something that you would describe how frequently this is happening now it's just something that is it's just like now it's just something that continuously exists as dogs recording me or me the owner for the first time dancing for the first time yeah because they've never danced before they've never danced before either yeah so the dog set up a camera to film themselves filming a man dance that's a different dog a different dog there's a different there's a different is two dogs recruited i believe it's also a golden retriever i can't get it yeah yeah and we should note uh visually just for the listener um the

dogs aren't holding i know a lot of listeners are thinking dogs don't have opposable thumbs the dog is not holding the camera it's on a stand clearly set it up on a tripod on a dog's a good girl she's sitting patiently in front of the uh tripod a tripod is holding it has a clip it's holding the phone which is functioning as a camera for the purpose of this video uh not the camera we're seeing through but certainly the camera that's filming his dancing and the second camera you can't see this but the camera we're seeing through, but certainly the camera that's filming his dancing. And the second camera, you can't see this, but the camera that is being used to film the TikTok is set at a much higher level. So the dog is standing on its hind legs in order to see that camera as it's filming. And so that, of course, is not a Golden Retriever life.

The footage of that second dog would be on a different account golden retriever work that dog is at work yeah they're at the office yeah and and we do need working dogs you know it's not ideal eventually ai will replace them but until a person until a robot can take a photo we do need working dogs and that is a shame but it's important yeah i don't know we need it it's it's a part of society right now and um you know people can have their opinions on whether or not it should exist it does exist yeah well i think i think joy is important what's the point of life if there's not the joy of a of a tiktok video shot by a dog you know shot by a dog i guess i would have to be able to watch the video to to find out i guess to answer your

question i'd love to be able to everybody feel comfortable watching the video well i just see i just wanted to because it's shot by a dog shot by a dog if that makes sense it's not just shot by a dog does that make sense um look it doesn't but i i think i'm confident to go into the video um and i i hope it makes sense in time all right and here it is who's gonna be who's gonna be kevin kevin stop stop stop kevin will you be will you be i just wanna like so we don't have you be describing what's happening during the actual footage or if that's okay with everyone yeah yeah i'd love that can i ask are you watching tiktok on a on safari it's integrated yeah all my free shit's on google chrome how how how clean slate on safari

it's integrated it's integrated into the platform the whole it's our network our show where it's part of our show it's integrated safari it's seamless it's all it's all vertical it's part of our show. It's integrated. Safari is part of your show. It's seamless. It's all vertical. Yeah, you said integrated a few more times, but that didn't clarify for me what you meant by integrated. It is. Just repeating that word, it didn't explain what you meant. I'm starting to wonder if Broden would get shot by a dog. You can.

Which does happen in this country. I wish a damn fucking. I just want to know. ...with a burrito would kick down the door and just fucking empty the clip in this guy. He's making it impossible to do the show. Wet working, dog. That's a shine. That's a shine.

I heard you pant that house. I heard you. Doesn't matter. I'll do it later. I will be narrating the video. Great. All right. We see a young man.

Over the top of it? Excuse me? Over the top of the, because we are doing the, it's okay to talk over music. But not you, Mark. No. Not us. All right. Yeah, only me.

I'm going to talk over the video while it's occurring and this is the beginning of it hang on just wait a sec I think it'll be fine I'm not pissed off is this like kind of a mark is this what

Mark does I've sort of wondered like what what his thing is if it's this like I've sort of wondered what his thing is in this. If it's this... Hey, you're the guest. Yeah, this is your thing. This is my thing.

And I would like to not explain it further than that. So let's have Mark do it. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, I didn't want to to take i don't want to take this away from kevin i think kevin is the right i like it i'd actually like the right choice i'd actually i would actually prefer it i would actually prefer it i don't want the situation

where like then now suddenly an issue the way that we do these things why don't you just do it that would be much better for the the appearance afterwards and so we don't want it to be this thing where now you're refusing to uh post the you know podcast anywhere because we didn't let you do your thing and it's like i don't care like do it it's the same shit to me yeah i feel like i've bullied kevin out of his uh out of role. There's no ability for you to do that. He is 100% accountable to me and Sean only. So there's absolutely nothing you can do or say that would supersede what my directive is for him, which is Kevin. Do not narrate over this video.

Mark is going to be doing it. I hate to create a situation here. I've just sort of done a little look at Broden. I don I hate to create a situation here. I've just sort of done a little look at Broden. I don't want to create a situation here. Me and Broden, we're not going to allow Mark to do this. It's a hard move. This is a big opportunity for us. And for that kind of disrespect,

it's not going to be coming from our life. Maybe we can meet in the middle. Maybe we do like a sentence or a word at a time no it's not happening no it's a hard no jesus i'm sorry i do want it to work for everyone i i uh do you have a an alternative arrangement that you want uh zach and broden uh i are you guys do you want to talk over the video i mean i know what this is leading to i mean that's you can't you can't i mean we're pretty easy we're pretty chill so like um do we watch it in silence i mean do we watch it in complete silence i mean that's starting to feel i i agree it's not ideal but i'm dying to see the video yeah like this was supposed to bring us together and i should talk to my wife about this because it seems like what

she's done is sort of detonated a bomb and she's created a lot of tension that has that has only driven us further apart yeah if we hadn't been sent this Golden Retriever Life video, I think we might actually be into the show and kind of moving forward as a unit. Is there any movement from your end on Kevin reading it, just for clarity? In terms of from you guys? Whether we would allow it?

Is there any world, yeah. If the alternative is, I got to back my partner. He took a hard line, i at the time i thought man he's overplaying his hand this could this could back us into a corner but now i just kind of have to ride with him i'm feeling better about the silent option than than the kevin option right now god knows i'm not going to be able to anticipate i mean my wife sent me the video you want me to call her and i'll just ask her generally what happens in it or maybe that would that would be great and then we can we can know that we don't have to watch it well then we don't

have to watch it if we can just depending on how it sounds it might sound really good i we could just i think i think the only way i'm gonna walk away happy from this because uh it like i was gonna i feel like kevin was gonna do it i feel like i said something at a turn hey grace my responsibility i was really excited tiktok video you sent me from golden retriever life uh we were having an argument on the show and i said my wife just sent me this video that sounds like it's probably pretty cute maybe we could all watch that and it would kind of dissipate the tension um since then there's been uh a pretty heated argument over who would be allowed to

narrate what's happening in the video no one can agree and i said well grace has seen the video let me call her maybe she can tell us kind of generally what happens we can decide whether it's worth watching uh whether we want to have you say it again while we play it or something like that but could you give me a sense of what the what's going on there you haven't even watched the video yet is that that's been a big hurdle for us just because you know initially we thought kevin describes, like, during teaser freezers, et cetera, that's a segment on our show, guys. It's a golden retriever watching his dad dance.

What's the reaction? The reaction is priceless. The reaction is apparently priceless, right? From the dog or the man. Well, the golden retriever... I don't want to spoil anything, but the golden retriever doesn't think his dad's a good dancer.

I gotta watch this. I gotta watch this. I'm sorry. I need to watch it. I'm willing to fold on this. Kevin is going to narrate it. I thought you would watch it and picture Bosh watching you dance. Right.

That's how we all watch it. We insert ourselves into anything. right yeah well that's how we are my whole life into it we insert ourselves into anything but I didn't know you had a dog you're going to pick him up from school okay thank you who's being picked up sorry

my son is getting picked up from preschool normally I do it but I did have this to do and thank you for making the time for us Kevin and I were back and and thank you for making the time for us kevin and i were back and forth and thank you for uh yeah we really appreciate the opportunity so now that we know what to anticipate yeah i i think it's helpful for all of us to uh to focus i mean i i'm i think eyes on the dog is the plan here right yeah i Yeah, I would say the same. The dog's reaction.

Because whether the owner is a good dancer or not is sort of irrelevant. If he was great and the dog has a funny reaction or if he's bad, it's all going to work for me. So we have a game plan. It's dog all the way to the entire 30 seconds. I'm going to be eyes on dog unless we want to distribute how we're playing this.

Does somebody want to watch the guy? Does somebody want to volunteer to watch the guy? I was going to say, I think maybe we may need to watch it twice. And once where we're focusing on the dog and again when we're focusing on the man. And then maybe... Well, again, so are we all watching the dog the first again, when we're focusing on the man and then maybe, well, again,

so are we all watching the dog the first time and then all watching the man the second time? Or do we want to split it up? I don't think it's fair to split it. I don't think that's fair. I honestly, the trust at this point is gone. And so the idea that like,

you're going to be telling me what is happening over in the man's area. I don't like You're absolutely right. I think what we'll do is divide it up. Hayes, I know you're really excited to see the dog. Why don't you watch the dog this time? I'm going to be eyes on the man. Perfect. We will watch it a second time.

I do need to see what the dog does, although I completely trust you, Hayes, to explain it. I think it would be nice for me to be able to experience it. I can give you actually little like little specifics and vice versa for like you to be looking for to enrich your experience absolutely and I can chime in a little bit with what he's doing in terms of if there's a particular dance move or there's a moment yeah

on our end I was gonna say Zach did you want to watch don't care don't even need you guys to well it's important for us because we are part of this process and to be cut out like that is just fucking rude um well you may have done to yourself let's let's entertain that no well you did you did just do it you did just you just did it you did you said we're not so you did so i didn't i make suggestion for the studio add a mirror you're gonna want to take a good long look in

that every now and then thank you for your feedback mark now do you want to um come on man would you maybe like to watch the man i'd like to do you want to watch the dog and i might close my eyes uh because otherwise it might be too many eyes on it and then you and then i'll sort of i don't know i guess just here well you're experiencing sort of experience you experience it in my mind's eye. Yeah, you're experiencing the listener's journey there and you can actually, through your questions, you can be there sort of. Yeah, and I'll pick up on any fucking bullshit as well.

I'll be able to know if anyone's lying because I haven't seen it. I'm not being manipulated by the footage in front of me. For me, it's... I have one question and I don't know it. I'm not being manipulated by the footage in front of me. For me, it's... I have one question, and I don't know if this is relevant. I think it might just be something we engage with when it comes up while the video is playing. Have we considered that there might be a camera change and we don't see either the dog or the dancer for a period of time?

I think we... Yeah, right. I appreciate that suggestion yeah and i do think we like injecting just like a kind of a fail safe just like a just a ripcord just like i think if that happens we just shut it down the entire video yeah kevin if that happens so if there's any kind of reverse angle or something that happens where um either the dog or the man are not visible we just we just just just shut down the computer because close just for safety yeah yeah thank you thank you for i was worried i was bringing up something irrelevant there but thank you no no that was a great question i had been

thinking about it a little myself yeah mark are you going are you saying that we narrate as well over the top of the boys? Well, I think, I mean, tell me if I'm wrong, but I feel like what we've all agreed to here is that we're going to play the TikTok. We're going to watch it in silence. While Kevin narrates. While Kevin narrates.

And then at the end, we're all going to discuss kind of exactly what's been seen. Then we'll watch it a second time. And then we'll watch it a second time and then we'll watch it a second time and maybe the second time i'll keep my eyes open yeah are you gonna be eyes closed both times okay it really depends on how the description of it goes because if it fails for me if it's something that i don't find interesting i'll have no interest in watching it again with my eyes open yeah or mark if you'd like i can move my mouth like i'm narrating and you can say the words

uh no thank you all right let's go interesting here it is the beginning you know i i have to say this mark as you as you tell us that if the description isn't sort of up to your standard and doesn't capture your imagination you're going to refuse to watch the second time yes i will i'm reminded as i am periodically of a quote from the great thinker herbert spencer who said there is but a single principle which can keep a man in everlasting ignorance and that is contempt prior to investigation. And I would encourage you, not with this, hey, this is a TikTok video, right? Like, who gives a shit?

You watch it, you don't. I hope we do. But for yourself, as you move through this world, there will be other opportunities for you, perhaps, to engage with something that you don't initially think is going to be your cup of wallaby tea coffee or whatever yeah yeah yes yeah you may find that keeping an open mind well minds are a little like parachutes huh in what way they only work when they're open they only work but there's a safe but there's a safety there's a secondary yes yeah so how does

that play into it it opens the parachute as well but i would say... That's watching the video twice, isn't it? Yeah. A parachute starts closed. But how does the falling... It has to be closed. But I'm not... But if my mind isn't... To work, it has to start closed. It has to start closed. For something to open, does it not have to be closed?

But also, if I'm not jumping out of a plane, then why would I open the parachute? Well, maybe you're doing like a little kid's sort of jimboree type class. Right. All getting underneath the parachute and it's falling down on you. Well, I feel like it would slow me down if I'm just going for a run, which you know I like to do. And I opened up the parachute. That's just going to slow me down.

Could be a way to get out of science class you're sitting in science class you pulling the ripcord on your parachute it explodes out of the little like backpack that you have on like that's at least gonna cause enough of a delay that sorry teacher i think i need to go to the nurse yeah it's like it's just not quite working for me well i think i'm trying to track it i'm happy to not ever see this tiktok unless the description is wild so it's on you guys i think it's i think i don't it looks like the dog it looks like the dog films the guy dances and he looks unimpressed that's what i'm expecting i gotta guess what the dog's gonna do you know and i turn around and walk if i could describe

the second camera well i'm thinking it's gonna put its paws over its face like i can't even look at this yeah this come on this dancing is like i don't want to see this is what my guess i have no idea you know i haven't seen it i haven't seen it once. I'm going to watch it twice. Could just be a look towards camera. Yeah. Just sort of an eye roll like, are you getting all this? I wish I wasn't. It could be a roll like

falls to the ground. Because that's quite easy to train for dogs is the falling to the ground. Probably easier than paws on face. Not saying that's what's going to happen, but it's more likely, I think. Can I just take a time out for a second? I didn't know we had a dog trainer in the Zoom today. Well, I just recently got a dog and we've just started our training.

That would actually be amazing. Yeah, let me introduce the guest. Kevin, what happened? I can only use TikTok 15 minutes a day, so I need a little break. That's our partnership, our integration with them. Yeah. Legitimately. That's part of the vertical integration.

So we can't watch it now? And that was for Kevin. I'm not sure that we'll be able to see it. So when we integrated TikTok, they were like, so Kevin is working on your show? Okay. So based on his habits using the app, he is only going to be able to watch it for 15 minutes a day.

For his protection as well as that of the tiktok user oh goodness that's not that's not a good i mean the implications of that are not good no um i think good you know i think the judgment is not really the place of this show it's relative you could say that he's like the perfect user in a way. He uses TikTok so hard, so passionately. Yes, he engages with it so thoroughly. Yes. He's just developed like a perfectly efficient. It's not unlike that parachute metaphor you were using earlier

when you were talking about the parachute. Yeah, I wish I never brought that up. Well, no, I thought it was interesting. It confused me. Well, it's interesting, though, because when we talked about the parachute, there was a lot of bad things a parachute could do. Obviously, good things. It saves the life of a person falling from a plane.

And then neutral things as well, that jamboree reference. You know, I think it's similar to TikTok. What was the bad thing? Science class? Getting out of science class? Mark talked about running. So everything they teach you in that is like, we're supposed to believe every single thing

that we're taught just because it's class? Yeah. I wasn't really. Oh, a fancy book. Teachers, infallible arbiters of pure goodness, right? When all that shit is is completely made up kevin are you able to like change it i know you switch accounts to watch more well good news go back to class they changed it no just to say this yeah what you learned that you think is so great yes

go back to class they changed they changed everything yeah they act like and they act like they didn't change it and they didn't say that when they taught it right and they're not saying it out and this will change it changed no yeah and it's changing again yeah and they say it didn't change oh well you know they got they got rid of it's percy bears it's percy bears they got rid of pluto you actually think they did that they just they got rid of pluto go check it's back right yeah right that's what happened yeah right it is back no no no no it's fine yeah that yeah oh yeah that's what happened kevin yeah you're fine zach yeah oh okay i logged into my finsta so we're back your what my fake instagram account for my tiktok fin finster oh i thought i thought he said i

thought that was because when you're in America, there's more apps and things than in Australia. Like, legitimately, everyone's on the next thing. He has a Finsta for his TikTok. That's just what he has. He has a Finsta for his TikTok. A fake Instagram. How's a Finsta?

Why do you need an Instagram for a TikTok? He's got one that's fake. He doesn't. He needs a Finstagram for his TikTok. Yes. It's a Finsta, and it's for his TikTok, and that's... He has a fake Instagram. It's a finstagram for his TikTok. Yes, it's a finsta and it's for his TikTok and that's... He has a fake Instagram. It's a finsta, he's got it and it's for his TikTok.

It's a finsta. And he logged into his finsta. Not a finksta. He's got a... Is it fake Instagram? Fake Instagram. Fake Instagram. It's a finsta.

So the TikTok is fake? You know the K in fake is... So it's like a fake insta, but it's a... Like it's... But Fick Fock wouldn't work. Fick Fock. It's not a Fick Fock. It's a Finsta and it's for...

Is it a Fick Fock? Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. So, it's a Fick Fock. I thought you were logging into a fake Instagram account to log into TikTok. It's a Fick Fock. This is a fake TikTok? It's not a fake TikTok.

It is not a fake TikTok. A real TikTok. It is a fake Instagram account. He is not a fake real tiktok it is a fake instagram account he is used to access real tiktok i don't i don't understand you just sign up but isn't it inherently real if what i mean like what's the accusation here no it's just kevin is tricking us? Yeah. I'm genuinely confused. Why do you need an Instagram to get into TikTok? A fake Instagram. That's clear. It is not.

It's clear that you're genuinely confused. Yeah. I understand a little bit. There might be like some people might be alarmed by the fact that on this page, it clearly says that Kevin is not logged in. Such is the precision element of this finsta it is so fake the finsta is undetectable so the login button remains even when you even when you've accessed your finsta it's not even able to detect the perfect logged in via his finsta and it

suggests you follow the rock it's untraceable it's just that you follow that is that Kevin is logged in via his Finsta. And it suggests you follow the rock. It's untraceable. It suggests that you follow the rock. That is a component of the... That is actually sort of the high sign that everything is going to plan. Right. The rock is fun, isn't he? He can be.

He can be fun. Do you follow the rock? Yeah, I do. I love his... He takes some of those wrestling speeches and he uses it to promote his films and whatnot. I think that's a some of those Wrestling speeches And he uses it To promote his films And what not

I think that's a lot of fun That's fun huh Yeah It's fun He'll throw a little Swear in there won't he He will And he will

The rock will swear Yeah And he strikes me As a driven guy Oh He worked I think he is one of the Hardest people at working

That I know of Yeah Now play it now Now Now Now Now Go I think he is one of the hardest people at working that I know of. Yeah. Now, play it now. Now, now, now, now. Go. Boy's walking up doing little dance moves to the phone. He kneels down. He's going to propose.

But there's no ring in there at all. And now he's dancing. He's got his hand up pointing. And now he pointed at the dog. And we're slowly coming in on the dog who's watching. Oh. Shut it down. Shut's watching. Shut it down. Shut it down. Did it start

to loop again? Is that what happened? No, we had to shut it down. We had to stop. What happened? We had to stop the video. Oh my god. I said something. Oh my God.

That could have gone bad. When you asked that question, there was part of me at the beginning of it that thought, what the fuck is this guy bringing up now? I'm so eager to watch the video. And we wouldn't have covered it. We wouldn't have known what to do. We would have watched the whole video.

Because I promised to watch the guy for the duration of the video. I was watching the guy as well. I was watching the guy. That was no longer a question for me. A hard cut reverse angle on the dog's face. Which is what I said. Reacting to the dancing. I'm sorry.

I didn't hear anything that you said after that. That was so disorienting. Oh my God. I was, cause I was watching the guy, right? And you've got to understand he wasn't taking up the whole frame. He was maybe. Slow down a little. Let's formalize this.

Yeah, right. Because I had my eyes closed. And so I'd like to know exactly what happened. So I'll tell you what happened from my experience, right? And you were watching the guy. I'm watching the guy. And he is really taking up a small portion of the screen, maybe the top right corner.

Upper third, maybe. Upper third, upper quarter even. Not a huge amount of the screen. I'm watching this guy. And then from my perspective, because I'm really quite lasered in, from my perspective, I just see a mass of golden hair. I just see a mass of golden hair. And I don't know what's going on.

You know, I'm upset. I'm confused. I think the man's turned into sort of this mass of golden hair. I think there's been an accident, you know? Yeah, absolutely. The camera's moved in. Well, I don't know at this point, right? What do you mean?

So where does the hair come from? Well, I'm saying a few seconds later. Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. It's like a fucking snuff film. You're watching this guy. You've formed a relationship with this man. Have you seen joel schumacher's eight millimeter yes i have it's akin to that it's akin to that and of course

we transpose ourselves as as we were doing as we were watching this into the character i was thinking of myself as the dog owner i mean that were you i mean i'm the guy what i'm watching the dog i'm watching the man right you're watching your experience i was the second dog because that's of course where those are my eyes right so that's all i got to go you know those are the only guys i'm doing everything i can to kind of show off and impress the dog and the dog's reaction is priceless there's one where i think the dog's reaction is they have somehow disintegrated this man or reformed him as just a mass of golden curls and and i am so disturbed by this idea of my my dog doing this to me that i couldn't think about anything else i was could you imagine this dog

you love this dog you love more than nothing in the world, you know, they've probably formed, they've made an account for them, they've formed a really passionate relationship with them to discover through no fault of their own, you know, they're a dog, they have, you know, they have a much smaller brain than us, that it has the ability to transform men into sort of fields of golden dog hair right what do you do there do you have to put that dog down well at the point that you've turned into hair i'm not sure that you even have that ability so probably looking back you go i wish i'd put this dog down right so you think i'm so sorry i i thought the man dancing was not the owner of the dog. I thought that was sort of a dancer they'd hired. Interesting. You were watching the dog. Can you sort of explain? Because basically what I'm being described here is that,

like the film 8mm, which is about snuff films, Tom Wells is a private investigator. He's contacted by... Playedolas cage right yes he's contacted by a wealthy widow she just lost her husband this isn't a tiktok this is a no but this is like it's helpful though for kind of understanding a little bit more what we watched yeah she found a strip of eight millimeter film in his safe in which at least by appearance depicts what appears to be the the murder of a young woman and so he recruits the the help of a adult video store employee Max California to portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix yes

to sort of delve deeper and deeper into this world of underground snuff films well here we're explaining this all to Broden he's in the movie didn't you play Machine Broden did you play Machine Broden I don't recall I don't think so

you don't think you played Machine and this is? I don't recall. I don't think so. You don't think you played Machine? And this is by the director of Batman and Robin, right? Yeah, phone booth. But I guess he also did Batman and Robin. Phone booth. He made a phone booth. Yeah, I remember him doing phone booth. Kiefer Sutherland.

Yeah. To answer your question. Because what I'm picturing now is that the owner turns into a fluff of hair. If I'm going to be honest, I, yes, was supposed to be watching The Golden Retriever. I found myself drawn to the music more than anything which you would have heard. Marry Me by Taylor Swift. It was a Taylor Swift song, I believe. It's called Love Story.

It says on the video. Okay, yeah. It's written at the top, yeah. Taylor Swift's Love Story, which is about marrying someone. So you can see where I was coming from. love story it says love video yeah okay yeah it's written at the top yeah taylor swift's love story which is about marrying someone so you can see where i was coming from was that was that taylor's version because it also says that on the video oh thank goodness i just i didn't i wasn't looking at that and and i i refused to listen to taylor if it's not taylor's version so yeah this was on this was on her terms no danger that yeah thank Thank God. And what I found is when that hard cut happened, the music started again.

Oh, so that wasn't the looping of the video. I imagine if you watched it through and it looped back like TikTok do, then you would hear the song. The time it started again would be the third time you hear the beginning of the song. So is it? I'm picking up on what's on what's happening here. The conflict, the friction between us, all of our careers being in rough shape, like all of the toilet. Yeah.

Just like the the the beating heart of this issue. Social media is making us insane. All right. Well, this shit. This shit. The shit that is, they stick a funnel, a hose down our throats, and they attach a funnel to the end,

and they put shit like this. Enjoy the slop. Yeah, and they get a stick, and they ram it down the tube. I feel like the fuck, fuck, fuck. As you start to spit it back up. What it's done to Sean's wife. Big boot.

Yes. What it's done to this man's wife who would send him this in the middle of the day. And then what it's done to us. She knows I'm recording. She knew I was recording. All day I talked about having this. From the second I woke up, I couldn't sleep. 5 a.m.

Eyes bright at the ceiling. She hears me hyperventilating. She goes, what's happening i'm going it's auntie donna day yeah it's auntie donna today all the boys it's gonna be so much fun last time we got along great i said yeah she said oh i'm happy you're so excited of course now she can't go back to sleep what does she do roll over open up her phone tick tock tick tock tick did you tell her what time though did you tell her what time yeah she knew because she was trying to work so you think she was trying to work and i was in her room do you think she she searched for the like a tick tock that would

just fuck us do you think she was spending time trying to find i think she's you heard her relationship with you heard her no no no i think it's much much more sinister than that so it wasn't sent in earnest you heard her this is normal to her yeah this is someone who has built up such a resistance to the the like the sickness and the filth that we are forced to just mainline every day first in our schools first in in science class at school at science class and they just soften you up yeah so they can inject you right and she's so fucking golden retriever life pilled that she doesn't even know she's doing it she can't walking through life. She can't even feel when she's gone full Ellie Golden Retriever mode. Yeah. She doesn't feel it.

It's normal to her. At this point, it's normal to her. And meanwhile, what is happening now? She's with my child. Oh, God. She's with my son. He's exposed to that. Yeah.

And here I am with you guys. We have to go. When I should be protecting her from the TikTok. We have to stop it. We have to stop. We have to that. Yeah. And here I am with you guys. We have to go. When I should be protecting him from the TikTok. We have to stop that contact from happening right now. Let's watch the end of the video. I do want to watch the dog. Oh, there's more. We have to know also what she's going to do when she gets to your side.

Mark, did you say that, Mark? No, I closed my eyes. Good. I'll watch the dog. Yeah, Zach, you keep watching from top of the screen. Okay. The camera is now facing the doggy. The dog's watching the dances, and his mouth is moving up and down.

He's got little fucked up teeth. Oh, goodness. And now he's sniffing. He smells how bad the dance is. He can't breathe. Okay. Did you see what happened there though did you hear that did you hear that i had i had to start again but he didn't like it he didn't like that

he actually wanted to kill him he was he hated that dance he hated that dance so it wasn't a it wasn't a pause okay sorry you guys go sorry guys go. Sorry. It wasn't a pause over the guys. Well, they probably wouldn't have been. Don't do anything. Don't do anything. Zach probably wouldn't have been paying attention. Do nothing. Just do nothing.

Is there a tour? You guys have a thing? Is there a tour? Whatever. You're editing. Okay. No, Mark. Yes.

No, we're going on tour to America next year. Maybe. Keep it. No, it's booked. We got it. We'll see you there. What? No, don't stop. Maybe. Keep it. No, it's booked. We got it. We'll see you there. What? No, don't stop.

It's fucking booked. It's booked. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a HeadGum Podcast.