Hollywood Handbook - Bang Rodgeman, Our Spinoff Friend

Episode Date: June 13, 2017

Sean and Hayes are joined by aspiring actor Bang Rodgeman for a sneak peek sample of Hollywood Masterclass, his spinoff show with just Sean and not Hayes. This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/first) and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/HANDBOOK).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so we're out uh uh foraging man lawrence uh o'donnell um for whatever grubs and roots and mealworms. Yeah. And I spot this big mushroom that's like red and white, kind of spotty mushroom. And I, of course, you know, pull it out of the ground and guess who it is? And then guess who it's toad. Toad from The Princess. It was toad.

Yeah, toad yes it was toad and so i pull him out in such a way that it sort of like rips all his clothes off oh no his head is no i didn't know i didn't represent his head they teach you how to do it for foraging in case it is toad um but now he's like he is nude and he is like remember pillsbury dough boy did he make like, he is nude, and he is like, Remember Pillsbury Doughboy? Did he make that little giggle? Did he make that noise? That would have been,

Pretty cute. I don't think he is aware that he kind of looks like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's one of these guys who thinks of himself as like a total stud. Yes. And you go, you know how he pulls down all these chicks? Yeah.

It's just confidence man like what he sees when he looks in the mirror is not what i see and it's working yeah well i think if i even if i were to do that he'd be like what are you doing right you know right and it wasn't the time that's because he's nude yeah and you don't want to yeah and so what so did you start well he's like also like eng, and you don't want to. Yeah. And so what, so did you start? Well, he's like also like engorged. I don't know how to like put this. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Hard as a rock. He's blasted his fucking little rocket ship downstairs. And so did you become the launch pad and sort of give him somewhere to land that thing? I had to like, because as I'm pulling him out of the ground, it's like flinging a bunch of like dirt up in the air. Okay. You know, that got in your eye, you know,

like a doorstop, one of those doorstops. And it's making that noise. Yeah. You know, like when you're a kid and you like take a ruler on the edge of your desk and you push it. Yeah.

Yes. So like the noise is loud. I have like all this dirt in my face. And so I'm like, sorry, you know, I know I did this is my fault. Yeah. But I'm also and like Lawrence is going to get help. I don't know exactly like what like he was thinking we needed. But he was like, I'll go get help.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. He's very helpful. Like he's very brave that way to always volunteer to get help. But a lot of times you're not in danger. No. There's no one nearby that he can get.

He wouldn't know what to tell them when he got there. And if he did find someone and tell them that, they'd be like, what do I do? What is my involvement? Right. And then that's their day. That's their whole day. Yes.

But he's very insistent about it. Don't you want to help people? And they're like, I do. I just don't know what. Yeah, he plays on people's desire to be charitable. Yeah. So I'm sorry, but I'm getting you sidetracked. So what are you doing with this dude's wang, toadstool?

Because I know you're not going to leave my man hanging. Well, that's – I would have maybe considered being a landing pad. Yeah. I think as you said. But he is still asleep. Oh. So I'm like, do I wake him up?

Having one of those good dreams. Yeah, right? So I'm like, is it rude to wake him up and be like, hey, would you like a landing pad? I know one way to wake him up. That's the thing. I'm like, is it rude to wake him up and be like, hey, would you like a landing pad? I know one way to wake him up. That's the thing. I'm thinking like, is that rude? Sure, yeah, because he can't consent when he's in his sleep.

Yes, thank you. That's exactly what I was thinking. So I just kind of moosh him back in there. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Linebacker. Always in this industry we call showbiz. I'll let you do, you know,

this is kind of your... What up, what up? Oh, you want me to talk about this stuff? Yeah, just like the whole thing. Okay. So, you're listening to one podcast and you're going,

is there any other podcasts? Yeah. I did another one. I did another one that's very, very similar, but technically different. Mosley Hayes is not involved, but he is a little bit. And the podcast is called Hollywood Master Class. Oh, it's a totally new podcast? He must be talking about something other than Hollywood.

No, there's still so much to do there. He must be talking about something other than Hollywood. No, there's still so much to do there. So it is a class that we are offering to guide some of these lost souls who want to create art but don't have the tools and maybe don't even have a store they could drive to to get the tools or even a school. We're the school now. And the school is me. I'm the teacher. Class is in session.

Sound the bell. School's in sucker. And you get to hear me work live with a student who's insanely talented, amazingly cool, funny, really smart, really nice guy, one of these guys. I'm just like'm just like oh wow like is he fucking with me he's being so nice because you just have those conversations with him where 45 minutes go by and you realize i've been talking about myself the whole time and i haven't asked about him and then you ask about him and he goes like fuck you man So it's just like that kind of nice where there's an edge to there's a danger. You know, he's not the guy in the PG-13 movie that you're all really hoping is going to make it.

He's the guy in the R-rated movie. He's a bad man. He's a bad, bad man. Swingers. He's Bang Raj, man. And he's here on the show. And Bang, talk a little bit about the class and some of what you learned and some of your experience. Without spoiling anything, it would make it that people won't pay money for it. You got to pay money for this podcast. Most podcasts are free. This one is about the same quality, maybe worse,

and this one costs money. So please do get involved with that. Hey, guys. Thanks for having me on. Good to see you again. Yeah, I took your class. It was a very interesting experience. I think that's the best way I can put it. I came out with a lot of new opinions.

Some of them, them quite frankly negative. Yeah, negative opinions of some of the old ways that didn't work. Yeah, I mean not exactly. I mean I think our relationship kind of suffered a little bit. Sure, negative opinions of the teacher. You got to be a tough teacher sometimes. The disciplinarian. And I hate to put on that hat where I have to sort of bang your knuckles with a ruler and say

no, Bing Rodman. Don't do that. And some of these teachers that are so nice, they end up going to jail. Oh, yeah. Because a lot of them are perverts. And there's no danger of that with me. Yeah, that's a different thing. The I mean, and I appreciate the kind words you said at the start of the podcast here.

Yeah. Even that is a little misconstrued, and I wish— Do you not think you're a sick, cool guy down with the coolness? No, that's nice, but when I like i say like fuck you leave me alone you have said that yeah yeah it's not me kind of like being nice because you are so generous you know that you don't necessarily want to go on and on about yourself it's not that but yeah whatever and that's kind of the thing that you would say, like if you want people to really think that you don't want to talk about yourself,

but you actually do, you can't be like, well, I actually do want to talk about myself. You have to say like, no, I really don't, and that's why I'm saying fuck you. Yeah, well, if you don't want to talk about yourself, what a lot of people will do is go like, nothing much going on with me, nothing interesting, and that's really nothing. That feels bad.

Yeah. But if they go like. Because then you feel like you have to tease it out of them and stuff. Yes, it's a game. I'm so sick of games. Yeah, you see nothing interesting and you're like, yeah, it is. I'm over these games. I mean, I've just been running into you a lot since we did the podcast.

Sure, yeah. And I'll be out. Well, I'm in that next, you know, I've just been running into you a lot since we did the podcast. Sure, yeah. And I'll be out. Well, I'm in that next, you know, I'm next door. Yeah, and that's weird. That's new. That's a new thing. Well, so obviously everyone who listens knows I do

generally live in a sick-ass condo in my dad's basement. Sick condo apartment in my dad's basement, and I do still have that space. This would be good reestablishing stuff. That's a good idea for the people who start listening to your podcast and then are led to this

show. I don't think I talked about anything like that. I don't know if you would come up. What I'll say is, it turns out there was actually a really good opportunity to do some acting research in Ben's building. The apartment next to him is a super unit. So you can live there.

You have to fix light bulbs, do KC Affleck, Manchester by the Sea, kind of go and do the odd jobs around the house, but you get to live there for free. It's very small, and you got to share space with a lot of mops, but you could do anything you want with the mops, and you get some, like a per diem, like a little food money every day.

Yeah, you're getting paid as a maintenance man for the building, and I know you Yeah, you're getting paid as a maintenance man for the building. And I know you keep saying you're researching a role. Yes, because Manchester by Sea is a big movie, maybe a movie like that for me. So I'm in there. I'm in this mop room slash dope-ass studio apartment. And I've been noticing – I'll bring it up now.

I've been noticing more things broken in the vicinity of my apartment or in my apartment which you have. Better call the super. Yeah, and I've been doing that. Yeah, if you've been noticing that, it's irresponsible not to call the super.

So I'll notice that things are broken in my apartment to the point where I think maybe you're coming in and breaking these things. Oh, come on. I'm the opposite. I'm the sufficient. Yeah, you don't understand his job, which is to fix things. I'm glad we talked about this.

It's along the same lines. I can see why. It's the reverse of what his job is. Okay. I'm not confused about it. I think he's doing that so I call you and then you come over to fix it.

But you don't even come when I call you. You come at like 1.30 in the morning. And oops, I brought chips. Because actually with the per diem, I'm able to buy like three or four bags of chips. The small ones. That's right. Yes, you come over with chips. And I always offer you half a load of bags.

Yeah, and that's nice. And we don't have to share. If you don't want to put your hand in the same bag as me, what I do is I bring a plate. Yeah, I've noticed you also tend to come over when I have someone over. If I have a girl over. Well, you seem to have a lot of people over. Is where, you know, that's how stuff gets broken. Yeah, and I'm just going, so much is breaking over there.

Are you sometimes falling asleep at some of these girls who I do not trust and I don't think are good for you, Bang, sleep in some of these girls who I do not trust and I don't think are good for you, Bang, are getting in there and breaking stuff to try to make me have to come over, which I don't want to do so much. And so I'm coming late at night in part to catch them and maybe save you, in part to fix whatever's been broken, and in part to have some chips, right? And I'm sorry that I have told those girls that they can't have any.

Yeah, it's very rude. It causes me a lot of problems, to be quite frank with you. Well, I don't get that much money for doing it. And so there's a limit to how many chips I can share. And there's half a bag for you that I've actually put on a plate, which is pretty kind of fancy.

And who are these girls that are like, give me these chips? I've got more chips. That's the kind of girls. I'm starting to see a pattern, which is all these things are breaking, and they seem to be mostly there to eat chips. Uh-huh. And so. They're using you for your chips plate.

Where I just want to hang out with you just to hang. Right, and even that's kind of fucked up because you should just be fixing stuff and leaving. And one of my good friends and former student's apartment. Well, I'm glad we cleared it up. Yeah, I feel good about it too. So one of the things moving forward from having done the class that we do want to kind of dig into is, okay, so you've got all these new acting skills.

We should say that this is like a sample class, basically, so people can have this a little tasty. Yeah, yeah. sample class basically so people can have this a little tasty yeah yeah and we brought haze in as a specialist to talk to you about kind of marketing yourself branding yourself because people will you know they'll hear about this concept and they'll say like whoa you know why wasn't haze involved in this it's the same show blah blah blah uh and i would say for me obviously i was asked uh the um the thing that doesn't make sense about that is you'd be telling this information, and I'd sort of be saying, yes, I know.

And then I'd tell you something, I guess. Oh, and then guess what I say. Yeah, I know that. Well, you're also writing on a show, which I know is a time commitment for doing while you're also doing a podcast. Yeah, to do two podcasts and write on a show. One podcast and a show is impossible.

Two podcasts and a show is literally a joke. Yes. And I'm doing that and I'm like, it's killing me to do one podcast and a show. The level of juggling that you have to do with your schedule. Yeah. Particularly like a streaming show.

Yeah. Because you guys look bad. Yeah, like a 10-episode streaming show is actually more involved than, you know. Oh, yeah, because you have to do all 10. Yeah. You guys do look like you need a vacation. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I know. I'm ghostly pale, just to describe myself to listeners a little bit. I'm ghostly pale. I'm covered in grease, chip grease. And I've got this third job going on where I'm a super. So it's like I'm a super who writes on a show, and then I'm doing this podcast. And something's got to give, and it's certainly not going to be writing on the show or the super uh gig which has um provided me with a pretty sweet mop room and i also have a thing which maybe i mentioned is that if i'm doing multiple podcasts i have sort of a um medical mental condition where i'm on sort of a uh plan, brain-wise. Yeah.

Where I am at sort of a monthly word count, basically, which I don't keep rigorous track of, but if I'm doing a podcast, I will need to take three or four days to make up for that usage. Right, there's a lot of use. Yeah, and there's no rollover. Of course.

So, and if I'm going over, then like each additional word is like maybe an hour or two off of my life. At the end, yeah. Yes. I'm told. Which is fast approaching. Yes. And I will.

I mean, I'm not going to not talk. Yeah. And that's the thing. But two podcasts would be a lot. Because it's like 90,000 worth a month. Yeah, and it sounds like a ton, but you're surprised how fast you go through it. 90,000, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, I did a second podcast.

Of course, at the time, I wasn't writing on a show, so my salad days. But to take the second one on was a big challenge, and I kept telling him, hey, you're so lucky you're not involved with this. It's so good for you that you didn't do it. Well, he's got a word limit. Yeah, because he would be running out of words so quickly. And it wouldn't have really made sense because it was very different from this show. Right. It was sort of teaching people about like hollywood and movies yeah and it's like so this is how you explain it to me which does make sense which is hollywood handbook is like

a book you know even in like the poster for the show it is like a school book so people are like oh it's like you know it's like a book that teaches lessons and stuff, right? But the Hollywood Masterclass is the class where you use the book. Yes. So they're obviously not like the same thing. One's a book and the other is a whole class. They happen to have the same teacher. Are you guys mad at each other about this? No, as I've been saying, I don't think it would have made any sense for me to do it.

And especially to make money off it would be insane. So, yeah, I remember something about like a guest fee. I know. But that has sort of fallen out of the conversation. Yes, a stipend for guests. And I believe I mentioned to all my guests, and it's one of these things where when Howell became Stitcher Premium, everybody's email address changed. Yeah. And I'm going through hell with these emails trying to track that.

You told me that mine did change. I had not heard that happening from other people, but it does make sense. Even when I got the money, I couldn't get it to you because your email was different. Oh, they changed Hayes' email? I think so. A lot of people's emails did, I'm told, change when Howell became Stitcher Premium. You should check, actually. Bang, it feels like even your phone number got changed,

which is part of why getting into this super situation was so fortuitous. Yeah, it must have been the Stitcher change. Yeah. It happened a few have been the Stitcher change. Yeah. It happened a few weeks before the Stitcher announcement, but they must have just in preparation, one of the first things they did was apparently change Bang Raj Man's phone number. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still working on getting a new one. I'll send that over when I get the new number. That's so crazy. I'm like addicted to my phone. I'm on it all the time. And then here, Bang Raj Man, you know, upcoming actor wants to be able to get called for auditions, you know, callbacks.

And my understanding is he's had no phone number basically since the class we did ended. Yeah, when I get a new one, I'll let you know. Yeah, it is frustrating. I don't have one, so don't worry about it. And he's on these dates with this trash, these tramps. Yeah. And I'm going, how are you getting in touch with them?

Yeah, it's just running into them, more just old-fashioned talking. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. So this will just be like a sample, which I appreciate, but I consider it a gift that this gets to be on our feed. We can dedicate a whole episode of our show to this. That we can promote the show that you're not involved, that you have no financial stake in. That I get to experience a little bit of that.

That's drawing very much off of sort of the platform of hard work you've put in already. And then we sort of use that to spring into this new venture and leave behind you. Yes. And now it sort of comes full circle where we come back to you and let you help us promote the thing. And say, please. You're not really involved in it. Yes. And I say, thank you to that.

Yes. Because that's the kind of involvement I want is just to be saying, people, please listen to this thing that I didn't do, but it's because of me and I don't drop it off of. The one difference I want to say is Cody, I know Brett did all of yours. Yeah. And so people will be like, oh, this is like an episode of the show, but Cody is for this one. And so is it like Cody doing like, do we help Cody do Brett stuff?

Or like just point out, like, if Cody does something, we'd just be like, okay, this is like, that's the Cody version, but if like Brett were here, it would be like more like this. Because I don't want people to be like. You can do that. Okay, that can sort of be my thing. That would be a great thing for you. Okay.

Because I can't even picture. I'm just looking for a way in here, so that could be great for me. Yeah, that would be great for you to have something like that. I need a job. Something to do with my hands kind of on a thing like this, you know? Yeah. Okay. Go ahead.

So do you guys have like a little like intro? We have all like our little things that we say and stuff at the top of this show. It was so long ago that we made it. I actually don't even know. You don't know if you like. Bang, did we do anything in the class? That's a good question. If you want me to be honest, I don't know.

Okay. Just because it was so long for us. Well, no, I remember it. We've been doing this stuff forever. I remember it. Uh-huh. Yeah, you keep bringing up like the time when it. Yeah, you keep bringing up the time. When you come over, you keep bringing up how long it's been.

But, I mean, it was a bit of a frustrating experience for me. I've just been doing podcasts for so long, Bang. It's just fun for me. I just kind of shut off, you know? Right. I mean, I've been doing these things forever. Yeah, I know that. You're kind of getting into it

like you're able to do it sort of with me, but I was already doing it, and I've been doing it forever. Hayes has been doing it. Hayes and I have been doing it. You're saying because you've been doing it so long, you don't remember anything?

Yeah, and then for me, as someone who is trying to help promote the show, considering that to be part of my function here, to be like, what's something I do want for you to say? I don't remember. Yeah, because I've been doing these podcast things for ages. I know, but just from a promotional perspective,

I think people will want to hear. And between the writing and the super... No, I know. Believe me. But if they want to go listen to it, I think when I prompt you with something like, so, what's an example of something to be like, I don. Believe me. But if they want to go listen to it, I think when I prompt you with something like, so what's an example of something to be like, I don't know, for you to say, I don't know. I know. That's maddening. But Bang maybe has something.

So you say you remember it. Yeah. And so give us a taste. Yeah. See, this was part of the frustration of the show is often you would look to me to teach the lesson, and I signed up to learn on the show. So you would frequently throw to me and try to get me to make meaning out of what you said. It's the soccer addict method. You know these soccer addicts over in like Manchester United?

Over in, yes, yes. Right. Yeah. These guys, some of these soccer addicts, what they do is they have this method of teaching. I think you're pronouncing it wrong. Huh? I think you're pronouncing it wrong. With Manchester?

No, because Manchester by the Sea I just talked about. Okay. Manchester? No, because Manchester by the Sea I just talked about. Okay. So there's this Socratic method where you don't necessarily teach people, you know, by just like scoring a goal. As you pass them the ball, you're not allowed to use your hands in this sport. You pass them the ball and you sort of go like, you kick it.

And then if they do, you can kick it back. And so that's kind of what we do in the class. So what you're doing with me is the soccer addict method. So I'm kicking it to you. What do you remember from the show? Now, you can kick it back. Well, sort of closer to the equivalent, I think, is I pass it to you, and you stand still, and you let it go by. Pass makes me think you're holding it.

Right. But you can't use your hands. Okay. I'm not a big sucker. You're the soccer guy. It's not called passing? No. It's just sort of a kicking, like a side kick.

Okay. Okay. So there's no passing in soccer. Because I think of that as being something else. I just think of that word as being like a Batman's friend stuff. But you say it means like to

when a sidekick is like when you give the ball to somebody else. I was thinking more like karate. Like the movie sidekick. And Cody still was thinking of an outdated smartphone. One of the first. So I got to say, you were—

Curtis turned his mic up. That turned it right back down. Did you want to do something? Engineer Cody, do you want to talk about that phone? I can see the board. I mean, I got a phone that's kind of old. I thought you wanted to do a theme song thing, though. Oh. Because I had something ready. And then you say what Brett's version of old. I thought you wanted to do a theme song thing, though. Oh.

Because I had something ready. And then you say what Brett's version of this would be. Okay, I think Brett would refer to the thing that was asked of him, mostly. You know, like the sidekick thing. I think he would focus on that and not say, but I also have a song. Does that sound right?

Right, on a show where we're not allowed to play music anymore. I am sure this is a, can I guess that this is a public domain song? Am I wrong about that? I can make it that way, yeah. Okay, good. That's an effect you could lay over it after? Yeah, I can filter it like that.

And then is that going to be satisfying for people to hear a public domain song after we build up the song for a while? And so what is this going to be in your mind? This is going to be a theme song for this show? For, yeah, maybe a mockumentary of it or... A mockumentary of the show, okay. A mockumentary of the show.

So it's a mockumentary of... Okay. So I'll do the theme and then I'll duck it and you can start the intro. Yeah, great. Right? Okay. You ready? Mm-hmm. Uh, okay. Great. Right? Okay. You ready? Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay.

And then just let me know when you're ready. I think that was him doing it. Okay, and as the guy seems to remember the show better, maybe now this is a spot where you get in there. Where I get in there? Yeah. Okay, again, you would normally maybe say what we were doing or attempting to do in the class. I feel ridiculous that you don't remember any of it.

And now I'm teaching this class? Here's what I remember. There was this great little chip store around the corner. This place had everything. From the podcast? Yeah, from the podcast. I used to go around the corner right before class, and I would grab some of these chips, man.

Flavors you wouldn't believe. Dill pickle. But it's actually good. But you did it here. You did it here. You know what? I think it was. Yeah, we did it here.

Are you thinking before this show? Because the place is the same. Can I say I didn't want to do this podcast today? The only reason I came, you guys told me this was going to be the last episode. Can you say that? You're asking me? Ask Hayes. Can he say that?

That it's the last episode? Feels like the kind of announcement we should make. Yeah, we were going to kind of build to that. Because it didn't seem like even what we were talking about. I mean, just you thinking for yourself, is that the way to deliver this? It was like a big deal that this is our last episode. And it totally makes sense. You guys are doing a different show.

We're doing a different show. So obviously. Totally different. The very natural ending to say, okay, we are done with this one. I've moved on to this show. Hayes is now writing on a show. He's not going to be able to do both. He's got his like word limit.

Yeah. And I'm wondering, do I have some kind of brain limit? And that's for writing too, by the way. It's not just for speaking. It's for writing words as well. Yeah. And even like thinking them. But I'm wondering if I have a brain limit because I am really reaching back in my memory

to try to pull up something about this class. Okay, so you I have a brain limit because I am really reaching back in my memory to try to pull up something about this class okay so you have a full brain limit which was like kind of the concept of this show was that we would

recreate it I thought we would talk about something yeah and I'm getting nothing I thought this was I was going to be a small part

like I thought there were going to be a lot of guests but you would be chiming in yeah chiming in I thought this would be sort of like a greatest a big farewell thing yeah probably a lot of people who had been guests. But you would be chiming in. Yeah, chiming in. I thought this would be sort of like a great –

A big farewell thing. Yeah, probably a lot of people who had been on the show before would be kind of in and out. Oh, we would have invited a lot of people and they would have said yes. Rodnick and – Oh, yeah. All the – yeah. Lauren Greenberg. Yes.

The frigging – the big guests that we've had who came in and hit, dingers. You know what a dinger is, Bay? Yeah, home run. Home run, baby. The guess who I would say, maybe they corked their bat. Because every freaking swing. I think two episodes ago, you did say that. Every freaking swing.

And that's a memory thing. You did say that kind of that exactly. A that's a memory thing. You did say that kind of that exact thing. A little too much pine tar. Did I say that? No, no. Maybe they got that George Brett pine tar bat. Because every swing is a freaking dinger. I think pine tar is okay.

A tater. Yeah, I think that would not. You can't have too much. I think that would hurt. You think it's okay? Well, then why is there a bat in the friggin' Hall of Fame, World Series Hall of Fame for baseball that George Brett got in trouble on because it got too much pine tar?

So they took it and put it in the Hall of Fame. And now I am remembering something from the class. Now I am remembering something from the class. You don't know shit. You don't fucking tell me pine tar is okay? I've seen the bat with my own eyes it's not allowed yeah you can have a little bit

but there's a limit and you cross it they're gonna get you boy and they're gonna friggin take your bat too and it'll be a monument in the friggin hall yeah this does sound kind of like the class a monument in the frigging hall.

Yeah, this does sound kind of like the class. The problem is trying to connect this back to acting in some way is where we usually ran into trouble. Because I think that's part of, I mean, I'm sorry to criticize your teaching method. But now I know things like that, like that there's a limit on Pintar. But again, I don't see how much – how that will apply to acting. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, really?

How about having an interesting conversation with the casting director? Maybe that's part of the problem. Okay. You know what I mean? How about putting a fun fact tab on your personal website that you can click? Okay, here's my headshot. Here's my resume. Here's my reel. And here's my resume, here's my reel,

and here's some fun facts. And now all of a sudden I'm addicted to the site. I've got to come back every day to learn a new fact. And in the meantime, well, let me click this reel tab and see what's going on here. Yeah, like you're not allowed to have too much pine tar as a fact that could go on the thing. Does Kevin come in for your thing too? Do you remember?

I don't know. He did not, no. Was Kevin there? No. Okay. Kevin, Evan, Vivian, Evan, Evan. I don't think people really have personal websites anymore. I don't think now with social media that's... Well, how are we going to stand out?

Here's Bang's idea. Here's how we stand out. We do what everyone else is doing. Or do nothing, basically, it sounds like. We do nothing, and we don't do something that other people don't have right now. Yeah. That's Bang's idea. Oh, that'll make me stand out.

A lot of people had personal websites, like I would say 10, 15 years ago, I think. Oh, yeah, and nobody from 10, 15 years ago ever got successful doing acting. Oh, yeah, the famous actors we are watching right now, and 10, 15 years ago they weren't doing acting oh yeah the famous actors we uh are watching right now um and 10 15 years ago they weren't trying to do anything i just think they're doing different things now yeah now they're acting in movies because they had a great website okay yeah i'm sure so we do have a website so we do have to do the website and again this is not like at all something we would – I'm glad we're doing this because it's not something –

I don't want to take people – this is Hollywood Handbook because they'll be hearing this and thinking like this is so different from like a normal episode of the show. Oh, yeah. They're like teaching someone how to do something. That's going to shake them up. But no, this is like an episode of Hollywood Masterclass inside Hollywood Handbook.

Come back to us next week and you'll get some of the stuff that you're a little more used to. Do not adjust your receiver. In this one, we're teaching someone how to build a website. So look, tabs. You need like a landing page, like do not enter, like caution, like a caution page. Yeah, caution tape. With like caution tape and like a skull and stuff.

It looks like there's like boards nailed up and there's like monster claw marks in in the boards like somebody was trying to scratch their way in. Yeah, and it's a sign that says, don't worry, there's nobody crazy in here. Maybe it says hashtag she is real from the mummy. And so maybe there's a hint of the mummy is behind there. Right. Okay, that seems like it would be confusing. I read that as she is real. Right. Okay, that seems like it would be Oh, so that's, I read that as she is real. Yeah.

Like the, like. Oh, right. Yeah. And I was sort of, I was expecting that for that to be put together

in the movie. Oh, you thought it was like she is real? Yeah, she is real. Well, you're probably, you would have more luck with Wonder Woman

then for that. Because she is real. I guess that's what I thought it was referring to. Yeah. So I should put hashtag she is real or she is real on my personal website.

Yeah, she is real or she is real. And Girl Godot, she is real. But as far as the mummy girl, she is real but as far as the mummy girl she is real okay

that should be on my personal website should be one of the hashtags yes yes okay so now we're getting into you know

people are some people normies are saying like no thanks you know but you want that you do not want the normies in this website because they will

gum up the works. Yes. So you go in and there's kind of the ringmaster there who's like, step right up. Like, welcome, welcome. Yes. Yeah. And then they sort of go through like the tent flaps part. Feast your eyes on the most magnificent

show on earth. Pleaseast your eyes on the most magnificent show on earth. Please buckle your seatbelts and get ready to not get fallen over or do anything to get hurt. But it's dangerous and you're going to really like it. And the main event in the center ring is Bane Rodgman performing feats of acting so death-defying, so astounding, that you'll have to call your mama and say, Hey, Mom, I'm sorry it's been so long since I called, but this really is going to be neat. Listen to this and hold the phone up to Bang Rajman doing acting

and here we go. And he says that. And then what does he say? The ten flaps will part, which will Seems like a lot to sit through. You want it to be sort of like over rendered, you know? And so they'll kind of grind. It'll be sort of a halting

thing because there's so many little animations that have to be happening at once. The tent flaps are almost made of these different creatures. It's so trippy that you could get some real friggin' Chibahawks, etc. to come

to see the page just to kind of trip out. If you remember Jim Carrey's old page. I was like, what? The freaking birds on his head. Yeah, I remember that. I remember from like 15 years ago. And the ringmaster goes, yeah.

And I think he's doing pretty well, actually. It seems like he's actually got buku bucks. And I do want to, like, just make, so you don't remember the show that you recorded, I think, like, earlier this year, but you remember Jim Carrey's webpage. It seems like pretty weird. Well, fortunately, Bang Rajman didn't come in with a bird on his head on one of these shows, because that would be something. And his head, bird on his head, and his head is Bang Rajman's head, which, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Friggin' yeah. That I'd remember. And then the ringmaster would probably want to do his big introduction at this point. And what might that sound like? Because the ringmaster doesn't really belong outside of the tent. Wait a second. So the ringmaster you just spoke about is a different ringmaster? The ringmaster outside the tent was like an imposter, basically,

because the ringmaster was supposed to be in the tent. He's not outside being like, come in. No, that's like a barker or something. Oh, yeah, so there's a barker, and he says all the stuff you just said. But he's dressed as the ringmaster. Oh, yeah, and so he's confusing people pretending he's Normies. Well, there's already layers, you know, and he's an actor. Yes, he's keeping the Normies out.

It's an acting website. Right, yeah, people will pick up on that. It's an acting website. Right. Yeah, people will pick up on that. Then the curtains part, and that takes a long time because it's too detailed and it's animated. And then we meet the real ringmaster. Ladles and jelly spoons, boils and germs. do put on shoulder pads or something because you're going to be embroiled

in one of the most dangerous, the most stupefying, the most dastardly, the most mind-bending acting feats of acrobatic mental gymnastica you've ever seen. Mr. Bang Raj Man will be entering the center ring in the main event, riding on a mighty elephant and doing something that I don't know what it is.

And you sort of see now why the Barker is protected to be the rig master because the rig master inside is not as good. No, no, no. He's not as good. He doesn't know what he's talking about. It seems like he's just eating up space. So the Barker is saying, I should be doing this.

I'm not great by any means, but I'm better than the guy who's inside. But what you don't know is the ringmaster, actually the real ringmaster, used to be good, and the Barker kind of ate up a lot of stuff and mows the lawn on what the ringmaster's ideas would have been. But still, it just seems like too complicated a mythology for my personal website that these two, the barker and the ringmaster, have a conflict with each other. But you come out on an elephant at this point, and then you are dressed as a ringmaster.

Finn at this point, and then you are dressed as a ringmaster. And what's great is you do this amazing acting. You blow the ringmaster and the barker out of the water, and go ahead and give us a taste of it. Okay, so at this point, I will be playing the third ringmaster in a way.

The true ringmaster. One ringmaster to rule them all. I'll give it a shot. I feel like it's pretty, it's been well covered, and we've hit a lot of the main things, and a ringmaster sort of introduces things, and I assumed, since it's my personal website, those guys would be introducing me.

And they are. Yes. And now I'm introducing myself myself you're introducing your acting yeah okay all right and the idea that like oh like they did that already is like yeah everyone is like doing acting all the time you can't just be like oh like those other guys did all the acting you know what i mean right like There's always more to do. This is a very defeatist attitude to turn on the TV and be like, oh, those guys already did it all. It seems

like a lot to sit through for your pros. Yeah, okay. You want people to watch you in a movie. You say, oh, what, three ringmasters that are five minutes long each? I'd see this guy in a movie, but I won't you say like, oh, like what, three ringmasters that are like five minutes long each? Oh, I'd see this guy in a movie, but I won't watch three five-minute ringmasters.

Movies are sometimes, you know, twice that long. Right, but usually there's a story and there's a lot of other elements. This isn't a story? So far, there's a beginning, middle, and end. Yeah, we have this rivalry Beginning, we're outside the tent. This rivalry between... Middle, we're in the tent. And here comes the guy.

Between the first two ringmasters and now... Yeah. Right. And then... Oh, look what happened. There's a third one. There's a third ringmaster. Okay.

And I'm getting... Three-act structure. I don't know if you covered this. It doesn't sound like you did. No, that's for next class. And I'm getting... So we are doing more of these. Okay, good.

I was wondering when that conversation was going to come up. Yeah, trying to get a little more dough, though. And unfortunately, we don't have room for you. No. I know you're not involved, but... Yeah. But we'll have more time to do it. I wouldn't even presume.

First of all, we won't be doing this show. Yeah. So it'll be a little easier. Yes. But also... And really went to— And theoretically, that would free up some time for me. I really went to bat with Jenny to try to get you involved in this class. Because I think that we have an idea for another one when we talk about 3X structure.

And she couldn't make heads or tails of what I was saying. She just didn't understand it. No. It's not that she said no. It just couldn't. Couldn't tails of what I was saying. She just didn't understand it. No. It's not that she said no, it just couldn't. Couldn't hear me. Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow.

Couldn't, didn't know what I was asking. Couldn't understand it. Couldn't understand you or hear you. Yeah. And so that, you know, that was a challenge because I was pissed. Yeah, sure. I threatened to walk. Wow.

Okay. Hang on. He's one of my best friends. You think I'm going to take something that his sweat equity gets cashed in? Yeah. And he's not a part of it? Four years. Hold on.

I said, you know, that's BS and i forgive my language you know is she picking up on this because this is over email yeah oh yeah yeah oh okay yeah oh unfortunately unfortunately the old email oh and she never even got it yeah so she couldn't understand she couldn't understand it because her email had changed. And, hey, as I threatened to walk, and they said they got me under contract. They could throw me in jail. They said that? Yeah. In response to what?

Because they're not receiving any of these. Oh, well, this is, okay, yeah, the first part was an email. But then I sort of reiterated some of it in a message in a bottle. And they did get that. Washed ashore. Then I have a bottle comes back a couple weeks later. Yeah. It was like a—

Funny bottle. Yeah. Parrot Bay rum. Good, yes. And so I finished it, and then I find a note inside. And it said, you know, we got you under contract. We'll put you in jail. And I'm not going back.

So I'm in this position. Wow, I want to walk to defend my friend. Also, I can't go back inside. So then I'm thinking I'm going to eat a gun. Okay. Click. It jammed. And it's like that scene in Lost

where the dude from Oz can't kill himself, which is another thing I do remember. Right, yeah, you remember a lot of things from 10 years ago. You wanted to do the ringmaster. You were about to do the ringmaster. And my mouth is watering for this now. Okay.

I'll try to make it short because the other ringmasters I feel like were pretty long. But you guys can tell me if I should make some changes. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, fasten your seatbelts. It's the one, the only acting of Bang Raj Man. That seems to have been pretty well covered. This to me. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So my notes would be. Okay. We already have our seatbelts fastened. We did the first Ringmaster. They have shoulder pads on or whatever. Shoulder pads, yeah. So like, what the fuck are we doing?

What are you telling me? And you're going, there's no story in this. Like, it's not like a movie. It's like, well. Yeah. I felt like the other two ringmasters went on a really long time. What an opportunity. What an opportunity to innovate.

To go longer, potentially. To be longer, even, and maybe say something that I wouldn't expect a ringmaster to be talking about. So sound less like a ringmaster? I didn't say that. I didn't say that. That could happen. That could be something you do. But I didn't say that.

But I'll say this. And also, you're a banger, Ardman. I think a lot of people are going to be watching and be like, oh, I thought the third ringmaster is generally the actor himself. Oh, I didn't realize this was a traditional role. Just if you're like, if you sort of know this three-act structure. I thought this was like a character that I was playing. Act three is Bang Rajman as the ringmaster.

And what could he be saying maybe that, maybe I'm a little surprised to hear a ringmaster saying. And I don't want to give you anything, but maybe he's lost control of the ring. Okay. All right. And try it that way. Okay. He's lost control of the ring.

Yeah, because he's the master of the ring. Yeah. No, that'll help me a lot. Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, no. Where are you going? Good, good. It's me, Bag Raj Man.

Oh, no. Everything's falling apart here. Clowns are everywhere. There are clowns everywhere, spraying seltzer all over each other. Yeah, the tiger, yeah. Yeah, so here's what it actually is. The tigers are loose. The tiger master comes out and arranges them all at the top of the page.

He's like whip cracking his whip. And they're lining up at the top and then you say, oh, those were the tabs. And they turn around and each one of them is a different tab. Bio, gallery, reel, contact. Fun facts.

So now the website is emerging. And we'll give you a little more. And this is the script. It's ladies and, oh, it's only ladies. Okay, that's sort of not what I was, there's been a murder, you know? And like that now I'm like, holy shit, right? It's fucking rules. Tigers everywhere.

Real gallery. Fun facts, you know? Bio, resume. Maybe it's bio and then biodome and it's just a YouTube video of that movie. Yes, yes, bio, resume. Maybe it's bio and then biodome, and it's just a YouTube video of that movie. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You know? And so they're going like, this guy's fucking twisted. Tabs have to be funny.

The tabs must be funny. Yes. Okay, so the joke tabs. There's an opportunity, yeah. Let's talk. Do you want to talk about the reel? Yeah. Or wait. Do you want to talk about the real yeah or wait do you want to talk about it i don't want to do anything you don't want to do uh if anybody hears the squeaky

cody has cody has a squeaky toy he's teething. We should say first off that Cody is teething. A bunch of them fell out last week. I said he seems a little old for this. He said, no, this is totally normal. I guess every year or so he grows a new row of teeth, and they push out the ones in front. And it can be very uncomfortable for him, so he has this sort of frozen squeaky toy that soothes him.

And, Cody, do you want to talk a little bit about? Well, shaped like a ducky, and it's been in the family for many years, and I'm fine with it. Okay, and that's not what a duck looks like to me. What you're saying is shaped like a ducky? You know, losing teeth is a sign of drug abuse, and I know you told these guys that you just grow new teeth.

That doesn't sound biologically normal to me. I mean, come on, dude. Do I strike you as someone who would be doing that kind of stuff? None of my business. It is a little cool for what I know about Cody. Doing drugs and stuff. I don't think of Cody as like a cool guy. No.

You know? Yeah. I put him firmly in the soc category when it comes to greasers versus socs. Cody is a soc. He's like, you know, one of the socs. Okay, yeah. He's a mod, sort of a mod.

They're like in the Rockers versus mods. Yeah, he's more of a mod. He's more of a mod, he's more of a Soc. He's one of the guys who would be mad that Ponyboy's dating Cherry. And I remember that. You want to let him out? Cody, do that outside. There you go. You want to let him out? Yeah. Do that outside.

There you go. Okay, we should get a little bit of a reel just before. Yeah, let's just slap a reel together. We're going to film you in front of a green screen later and sort of paint you into some of these shows that are hit shows. You can't get in trouble because the link will break pretty quickly. The link is not going to be working. It'll sort of look like you did give up on

maintaining this thing because it wasn't giving you quite the results that you wanted to. And the rest of the tab will say coming soon. Yes, when you click the tab it'll say coming soon. When you click real it's going to be like a broken puzzle piece inside. It seems like a waste of time. But then let's, yeah, exactly, yeah.

It seems like it would be a waste of a time for a working actor like you to maintain this website, which is why the website makes you look so popular, which is why people want to work with you because they know you're a working actor. And then all over again. But we do need some wild audio for the reel. Yes. You can't just put up nothing and break it. It has to be.

So we're going to have some hit shows and some big scenes that you're in. So Hayes and Engineer Cody are just going to feed you some show scenarios and some lines that maybe you would say in a show like that. And I would say maybe one of them is the circus episode of the show. Wait, so you want me to do them all as a ringmaster? Well, you've established that being a Rajmeet character is a ringmaster. It's within your range. Yeah.

And I saw Cody did turn up his mic, and so I want to let Cody jump in. Yeah, maybe Cody should go first. I obviously have stuff that I want to do, but Cody can go ahead with his scenario for Bang Raj Man's reel. Oh, God, I'm not ready. Oh, no. And he's saying this thing is shaped like a ducky,

and it's literally just a brown stick. All right, here's a scenario. Zipper stuck in the middle of a parking lot in a Costco parking lot. And this is a popular TV show we're seeing. Yeah, and I guess it's stuck in, like, the floor of a parking and I guess it's stuck in the floor of a parking lot. My zipper is stuck in the floor of a parking lot, and it's the ringmaster in the circus episode of this show. Yeah, so you're wearing a full-length jumpsuit.

The zipper goes all the way down your feet, and you got stuck in the floor of the parking lot. And I guess you're trying to get to the circus. I guess. Drat! My zipper! I'm stuck here in the parking lot! I can't believe this parking lot has a floor!

Keep going. I wish it was just a paved parking lot. Keep going, this is good. Not a hardwood floor that I drive on that captures zippers so easily. Why did I take my jumpsuit off here? This is so good. Do you want me to keep going? I feel like this is for, and let's just say it's Hawaii Five-0 or another big hit show like that.

I've got to get to the circus. Those detectives are coming. They're investigating some crime. Tropical crime, yeah. They're investigating a tropical crime. Now I'm going to be a suspect because I'm not showing up. That's really good. up.

That's really good. So, um... You'll want to do your Veep guest appearance as well. Where you were like... We'll all add one. Yes. You're going to leave that out. Where you were like Jonah's brother

or something and he was always intimidated by his brother. He's so confident. But when his brother's Like he's so confident. Right. But when his brother's around he's like not the same guy. And this guy that they're always like you know kind of like screwing around with him a little bit. When they see him around his brother

they're like oh I actually feel bad for Jonah a little bit. Yeah that's interesting. Right? Okay great. Is it cool if I use my normal voice for this one instead of the ringmaster voice? Well why is he intimidated by you if you're not a ringmaster? Yes, of course. Okay.

And am I in any specific place? Yeah, the circus. Where else are you going to be? You could be in the parking lot outside the circus, but I feel like you've done so much there. You're either on your way to or from. And politics is kind of a big circus, so Veep, I feel like you've done so much there. You're either on your way to or from. And politics is kind of a big circus, so Veep, I feel like, could draw some cool...

But that's not your place to point that out, really. Your characters. Your job is to intimidate Jonah and just sort of keep everything operating smoothly at the circus. And Engineer Cody will do Jonah. Yeah. Which I'm sure will go well.

Glad I could hook you up with tickets to the circus. It's a pretty amazing show. Had to work pretty hard to get up this high in the circus. You wouldn't know anything about that, huh? Working hard. I'm Jonah. I'm Jonah, and I don't know about that working hard stuff. Oh, sorry, I have to sign some autographs.

I'm a big deal here at the circus. Everyone knows me. Knows how handsome I am, how good I am at ring mastery. God, I almost feel bad for Jonah. I know, and I'm so used to Jonah being this whipping boy. It's funny. I like laughing at it, but now I'm like, oh, I see what Jonah's dealing with. He's got this spring master.

Jonah, I'm just biffing it every time I'm given a chance. That's what Jonah does. Yeah, Jonah, you are biffing it. You're a bozo. You're not even good enough to be a clown here. And that went a little far for me, but I think we can cut it off before it. Because the stuff was really good when you told me you didn't know about hard work. Oh, yeah, because I thought it was pretty PG.

The end? The whole thing. Not good enough to be a clown? I mean, that's kind of brutal. I think he's not wrong, though. Okay, and Cody, you can stop being Jonah. You're not the... Okay.

So this is the show you guys do, kind of. I don't know. I honestly don't remember do you i i am genuinely curious do you take your phone out at the end of all the all the special shows that you all that you do he does yeah for the page shows he does okay he does so and he is kind of supposed to be driving the bus in this one right like yeah it's not the end of the show. It's usually much earlier. Oh, okay. So that, I guess, is a different thing as people are looking ways to distinguish it.

This is really how you guys want to end this podcast? Mm-hmm. Again. Just two best friends. Again, we want to lead up to that. That is not your thing to be like, they're ending the podcast. Like, obviously the fans are not going to be satisfied by that. They want to hear it from us.

Okay. Yeah, they want us to say it. Sorry I'm stepping on it. It just seems very unusual to me. That this is the last episode, and that we're kind of doing another show, and that we're kind of not doing any show. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I think it's bizarre. Seems strange, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I think your fans are going to be very upset. Yeah, we didn't get think it's bizarre. Seems strange, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, I think your fans are going to be very upset. Yeah, we didn't get where we are playing by the rules. And so we did, obviously. So, yes, this is our final show. We did want to bring in some people that have been with the show for a long time to sort of give... Yeah, the bus just pulled up outside. They're all going to walk in one by one

and sort of say farewell to the show and some of their memories about it. But we do want to start with Cody, obviously. And hopefully we have time for the other 80 people outside. Yes, and maybe, yeah, we'll get someone else. So, Cody, if you just want to start, like what the show has meant to you, memories?

Highlights for you and just what? Yeah. The one we just did or the original? The mock or the original? What? It's Hollywood Hammock. This mockumentary thing. He keeps bringing this up.

He's never using it right. Kevin! Hi. Hi. So you mean the show? We're just talking about for our last episode, like stuff that your memories of the show and just like what it means. Oh, wow.

Well, Cody was going to start. Oh, sorry, Cody. cody uh um hollywood handbook has been the kind of show that means the world to its listeners the people of the nation and most notably kevin this is a new Cody thing, and thank God we won't have to deal with this anymore, but that, like, introducing music will somehow cover up for the words instead of what the effect it actually has, which is somehow subtracting from them, just, like, making it, like, drawing attention to them

in a bad way. Yeah. The music goes, like, makes you think, like, wow, almost any words would have worked here. Yes. And the fact that these don't means that this must be so bad. Kevin, did you want to sort of say goodbye to the show? And I guess one of my memories is like the like 500 other times Cody has done this exact thing.

Goodbye show. You're fun. Thank you for having me on. Thank you for all the people out there who called me a creep and a pervert on social media. That'll be up probably forever. I doubt any of you will take that off. It's going to be really great trying to find a job in the future. And if you Google my name, pervert, pedophile, weirdo,

asshole will come up. Goodbye show. Wow, powerful. That's really nice, Kevin. Yeah. And then we had a bunch of other people to say goodbye to the show. I don't think we have time now.

No, we are running out of time. And Matt Damon was going to come in here and do it, remember? I'm stooping him. Yeah. And so, yeah, please do listen to the other show. Do you know how they can listen to it? Yeah.

It's online, and it's going to be in your phone. You've got to go and get in there, and it's going to be so good. So, Kevin, was there anything else? do you want to say something about the new show I'm like 20 minutes in right now Brett just sent it to me and I'm just laughing up a storm and it's got a lot of good acting advice so it's kind of like a win win

so you like that one you had a lot of negative things to say about this show that I have done with Sean for a very long time

but this one you're like this is cool it's a makes me laugh it's a home run I really like that

yeah that's exactly what Sean said yeah yeah yeah yeah um great

uh so that's good so you got a lot out of it and it sounds like Bang Raj Band did too. I'll probably see you tonight slash tomorrow morning, Bang. And Hayes, I don't know when I'm going to see you just because of the nature of our relationship. It was mostly around this show.

But all the best with the writing you're doing. And Engineer Cody. It's been real. It's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. You feel me, brother? Feel it. So, yeah, this is the last show. Bye.

I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.