Hollywood Handbook - Beck Bennett, Our Once Friend

Episode Date: September 12, 2016

Sean and Hayes get Weekend Live's BECK BENNETT to come to the studio and discuss the controversy that drove them apart many years ago.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Janice from France. Yeah, yeah. And Severn Darden. Severn Darden? Severn Darden. He of the extemporaneous monologues. And we're hiding under the boards in an old spooky house making creaking noises to try to spook the owners out because obviously if they're able to spend the night without fleeing in terror, we're going to owe them a billion bucks. Yeah. And I'm hiding behind a painting, moving my eyes around.

At one point, one of them leans against a suit of armor and holding sort of a sconce. And the sconce moves and I swoop around them, suck them into the wall. Right. And now Maggie has to go to the bathroom. Well, where do you think she's going to do that, Ace, knowing her? This is your under the boards? And inside the walls. She's going to want to go in the tube.

Yes, that's right. She wants to go in the tube. Yes, that's right. She wants to go in the tube. One problem. Tube's jammed. The tube's all stopped up. It would also be too loud. It's so loud. You hear a tube from everywhere in the house.

Now, could that be helpful? Somebody doing the bathroom in the tube and you're hearing that. And they say, well, yeah, that's interesting. Is the deal that they have to be scared or can they just say, ew, you know, it'd be so gross. Well, okay. According to the rules of the contract, they have to spend one night in the house. Right.

You assume that they wouldn't want to because it's haunted so scary, but maybe it's just so gross, yucky. And so after an hour, hour and a half, we get the tube unjammed. We get all the slugs out and all the different corn cobs and everything that had been put in during the project. And Maggie gets in there, starts going to the bathroom. Now she's shy. So where do you think she wants me to stand, Hayes, while she's going to the bathroom in the tube? She's going to want you to stand.

Somebody's going to need to be kind of supporting her because she needs something to kind of. Oh, yeah. So I guess behind her with your arms under her arms and she can kind of hang on those. But backwards. Oh, okay. And I drop her in the tube.

And she's got no pants on going to the bathroom. Gross. And she comes flying out of the tube. It is gross. And lands on the family. And she says something really funny. What do you think she said? Okay.

Tubes and the haunted house. Boo? Yeah. That's right. So, obviously, you know, I've traditionally been against scary stuff, but Turnover New Leaf, I saw an opportunity to make money by selling a haunted house to someone. Okay, I thought the deal was just that you would have to pay them money. Yeah.

So you would have to pay them a billion dollars. I'll say this. It was a confusing episode of my life. It was a dark time for me. And I didn't make the best decisions back then. I could see how you would think there was some advantage to you doing this, because why would this exist if not for you to get some, not just be losing. Oh, and hey, that's not lost on me.

Right. But I have a lot of regrets, and to the family, if you're listening, I know I laughed really hard into the tube at Maggie saying boo after she landed on you going to the bathroom with no pants on. But I'm sorry for what I did afterwards. And what do you think I did afterwards? After you laughed? Yeah. And you're sorry for what you – you are sorry, you're not sorry for what you did afterwards. I'm a little sorry.

Okay. I punch and beat him up. That I really should have guessed. Yeah, well. I want to talk about regrets. You mentioned regrets earlier. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking,

button dropping, names of the record number, linebacker, callers of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? We've just been doing this for so long. We have so much fun doing it. Is that a character?

What up, what up? Just out like that, that sort of accent. What kind? Is that a character? That could be on Weekend Live, right? Is that already a guy? Maybe, maybe. Go ahead.

We just have so much fun doing the show um uh it's to have people here and to talk about the experiences and like all the different parts of the this uh stuff that we do that's like so fun to be doing all this stuff it's one of the great blessings of my life yes um but we also like explore it's not always so nice it's not always people being nice um and you have these relationships that can take these turns like these like amazing things where like you guys can be so close for so long we collect damage don't we haze Yeah. And as we muddle our way down this circuitous path. I'm sorry, I'm not even looking. It's just so funny to be looking at you now.

We have a guest. We have a guest. We have a guest. We have a guest. He, okay, he's a talent. He's a big star. He's extremely talented. He's very successful.

Yes. And he deserves all of it. Yes. And so funny. You are so funny. And I really have always thought you were funny. Thank you. Everything else between us aside.

And I have been watching. I am a fan still. And I was before we met and like continued to be that. Before we met and have laughed at some of your stuff. It's not easy to laugh at your stuff for me. What do you mean? It hasn't been because of some of the history between us. Okay.

But it is easy because it's so funny. It's funny enough to even break through that. I think I'd be laughing harder. I feel like you didn't always think I was funny. Well, okay. And I honestly don't know if I believe you when you say that you like what I do. Here's me. Just because—I mean, obviously you're going to say that now.

We should say the third person who has the same voice as us this week is Beck Bennett. Hello. Here's me watching. He's Star Weekend Live. Because I said— Yeah. I'm watching Beck, and he's— It I'm watching back. It's my fourth season. Going into my fourth season.

I'm watching back on Weekend Live, and he's doing that guy when you were like. He's like, so, yeah, I know what you're talking about. One of the politicians. One of the political ones. Some of the political ones? Yes. I watch you do those, and I'm like, oh, okay. That's my sound.

I'm like, I'm going like. What does that mean? So that's me being like. You finally get what I do? You hear the chuckle in there. I always got it. It's not that I didn't. So like, so, but like you go.

So you go, oh, okay. I always got it. The fact that he didn't get it kind of is sort of what has been the problem. You know what I mean? No, wait. Your tone is that you think he doesn't get it. No, his tone is that he didn't get it.

No, he's saying okay. He is like, you're just realizing it. No, it's you that's not getting it. That's not the sound I'm making at all. That sound is, oh, okay. Do you have, can I ask you, just separate from anything to do with us, do you have this problem where maybe you misunderstand people's sounds in other aspects of your life?

Have you ever, like, really misread sounds? No, I'm actually pretty good at it. You're very good at it, yeah. So, like, when people make sounds, and it's like, like, if I do something, like a bit or a character or something, and they're like, huh, like, I know that that's a positive thing. Well, what if it's not? You know, you did that, but what if it's more like a, huh? Then that's a negative thing.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, because then I don't want to show you my sound, because I feel like you're going to just twist it around to be something it's not. Well, I think it's a good test because, like, all I know is the one time I did a sound for you, it seemed like you willfully misinterpreted it. And this is not, I mean, that's not the approach that I wanted to have going into this. Like, the whole idea was that we would, it's been such a long time that we would just be able to talk about it. But as soon as I make a sound saying that I actually did think you were really funny you say oh like what's that

like you don't get it i'm like i don't let him make his sound make your sound sean oh yeah that's not a good sound no are you kidding me no are you kidding me that's a bad sound that's disappointment do kidding me? No, are you kidding me? That's a bad sound. That's disappointment. Do you need to hear it again? Yes, let me hear it again. Oh.

That was... So wait, you're telling me... That's clear as day. That's you liking whatever material of mine that you're watching. That's me. I'm seeing you're doing your thing, the political guy or the... or the what's his name huh what's the political guy's name he's i mean he's some kind of president or something right yeah he's one of the main presidents that they've ever done and he's and he's you know messing up in a way that is obvious but smart.

But it's real. But it's real. It's like a real character. It's not like a cartoon. It's like a – Right. You actually need like real characteristics of those people. Recognizable human traits.

Exactly. Blown out to the extreme. And I can see that it's based on maybe a teacher of yours, an old teacher. And so you are drawing from some of these old – A little bit. Maybe you really went to school with that guy. Yeah, I do like to use a lot of my old teachers from elementary school and sort of infuse them into the political guys. And what teacher was that?

Mr. Garcia's. Oh, wow. And I got that, you know, which is why I went – Oh. See, this is like. I guess so. I just, I mean. It doesn't have to be like that.

I just feel like coming up, you know, like doing shows, like, or whatever, just you guys would always be, you would always be like making these noises like when I came off stage or while I was performing or whatever. Well, let's lay it out. I mean. Let's lay it out. We mean, we're cellar dogs. We came up at the cellar. Yeah.

We all were doing. It's a small sort of intimate sort of no hold. Dingy, like work out your material there. It's for the real comics. There are bricks behind the stage. Yeah. And then everybody goes to the cafe afterwards. Yeah, the sort of Moroccan place or whatever.

And everyone's like fucking with each other. And it's like it's all part of. Busting beans. People are getting messed up, getting super messed up. There were a lot of nights where we would get messed up. Everyone. Go hard on each other. Drink and get messed up.

Sometimes. Get messed up. And I wish we'd had this conversation about the noises back then instead of letting it lead to what ultimately happened. Which was you misunderstood some of these noises, which were actually, I think we can all agree, pretty positive. back then instead of letting it lead to what ultimately happened, which was you misunderstood some of these noises, which were actually, I think we can all agree, pretty positive. So let me, where did this, I mean, I'm trying to come around to it. I just don't, whatever.

Okay, I'm going to trust you, I guess. We had a show. Do you not believe me? Let me, come on, come on, come on. Let me, let's talk about it. Yeah.

We had a show about, at the cellar, at the cellar that was like driving themed. It was about like experiences with like driving. It was like driving in cars, but it was sort of Aesop's fables. Yes. Like woven in. Big lesson component.

Yeah. What if those animals were driving cars when they learned their lesson and just they had to keep pulling over. Right, you guys were doing characters and stand-up stuff. Yeah, Aesop and Shawnee and Aesop. And it was obviously an awesome show, got us a lot of,

our toonies got us a lot of attention. There was a lot of fable stuff going on at the time there was a lot of what fable stuff going on brett butler was um did it like started with the sort of fable thing and that was i don't know it was hot butler was doing that yeah who else uh that was when charade charade was doing sort of a was doing like Brothers Grimm stuff yeah and it all kind of came from like was it Korn yes yeah

Korn initially yeah Ben Bailey I mean it's it's great material it was like it made sense

why people were doing it and so we get up there and host we host we do two quick fables we do 30-40 minutes between each act And so we'd get up there and host. We'd host. We'd do two quick fables.

We'd do 30, 40 minutes between each act. And we'd sort of drive it around doing the fables. And then we'd let you on for your five. We were trying at the time to expose some younger comedians that were coming up through the – Right, which I was a younger up-and-coming comedian. I'm hearing from the whole city. and coming yeah i'm here from everywhere i'm here from the whole city i mean i'm hearing from the freaking pigeons on the sidewalk there's a hot pepper coming up yeah there's a young hot pepper like a young i remember that i'd recently found like chili peppers meets comedy college boy i remember people saying you got to check out this

college boy yeah yeah they called you college boy yeah, it had like a lot of sort of rock, sort of edgier material going on. You know, a lot of like regular comedians were just sort of doing regular comedy. Sort of like you guys were doing fables and I was doing more sort of just punky, like rock and roll-y.

Well, you had taken college punk. Yeah, it was college punk and it was Carlin's legacy brought out to the extreme. You took modern man and you turned it on its ear. And we all remember Carlin's modern man routine, if you want to give me a piece of it. Well, it was, I mean, this is taking forever.

Do you remember his routine? I turn on my faucet, the water comes out. But I turn on my bath, the water comes out of there too. The bath's in the bathroom. The faucet's in the faucet room? No, it's the kitchen. I'm a modern man. See, I just didn't like that.

I know the downside of uploading. I know the upload of downsizing. I'm a modern man. And you kind of took that and were like, what if there was more swears in it? Right. What if I was like pretending to fall on stage? And that your whole thing was like talking back to the professor.

Right. Your whole, like, you'd be like, you'd get up on stage, raise your hand. Right. And be like, yeah, I know the answer. Yeah, actually, I do have a question. There is one more question. Well, it'd be like, turning your, it was from when it was all black, it was like, turning your test, time's over.

And I'd go, actually, I need another couple minutes, asshole. Yeah. And then I'd be like, you know, how's this for Scantron? Bam, bam, bam, bam. Mm-hmm. And people can't see he's masturbating. Yeah. Yeah, he's like shooting.

I would give myself a wedgie and get my underwear up and my butt crack and walk around like a duck and be like, how's this for anatomy? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Sort of like, I don't know. And he's doing some of it in an aggressive way. Well, just like in the way that I used to do it. So far be it for me to say whether that's comedy or not. But it was definitely something that people were telling us was good.

It was amazing, yeah. I mean, it was something that nobody had done. It was groundbreaking. It wasn't doing like what other people were doing. No, no one else was doing that. I was doing something that nobody really got to do. And people wouldn't do. Yeah.

Yes. The issue for me arose when... Kevin, can you just do this very quickly? Kevin. He's just going to take the pictures. He has to take these pictures. Just do this so quickly. Sorry, we didn't tell you about the pictures, Kevin.

We're just going so fast. So it should be picture one? Yes, do one with everyone. Do one with everyone. I don't know. Everybody. Okay, and we're doing it so quickly. And we're doing Beck.

No, we need one with just Beck. One with just the guest, please. Because we need the picture for the thing. And we want Beck done. Yes. Kind of good. Even faster. Do we do that?

Even faster. We do that. Yep. And now we do Sean. One with me. And maybe I'm sort of like, hmm. Yep. And we do Sean where Sean is me and maybe I'm sort of like... And we do Sean where

Sean is thinking about something interesting. And then we do me and Sean. We do one with me and Sean. We have to lean over here like this and you're getting us both. And I'm making a point and my finger's up like I'm making a point. And I'm holding him so he knows he's safe.

Ryan's the engineer. Did we forget who the engineer is today, Kevin? Do you guys take this many photos every week? Yes, this is the fast version of it. This week we want to do them really fast because I don't want to lose the momentum of this conversation we're having. It has sidetracked us. Ryan, please don't take so long.

Now Ryan and Beck. Now we just need one with Ryan and Beck. Just one with Ryan and Beck, selfie style. Get out of it. It's got to be selfie style. You've got to be in the picture too. Is that selfie style? And now I will get out.

But no, it should be like. Okay. Hayes has to stand up for the mic, but he has to get out of the way because we do need Ryan and Beck. But it does have to be selfie style. Can you put your hand toward the camera? It needs to be selfie style. And just please go quickly.

Yeah. And this is going as fast as we've ever done it. And we're leaving. And we're gone. In the past, it's been a distraction, and it's sort of sidetracked the episode. But this time, we got it done quickly, and I think we're really in a good place. I think that was actually helpful to what was happening. You know what I mean?

Well, because he'll be creeping around for the rest of the night if we don't get in there. Like below. He takes them all from these very low angles. That's the equivalent of like an upskirt. Well, it's kind of an action-packed photo. That's what I call my upskirt photos, action-packed. So I'll be like, do you want to take an action-packed photo with me? And I'll drop the photo down, kind of like in Splash, where they drop the quarters on

the ground and look up a skirt. Right. We would never be allowed to make that today. That's right. And then they, that's right, they met their nemesis in the tail. Yeah, the green man. They try to look up the skirt, and then it's... There's no division there.

It tapers down to a tail. Mm-hmm. And that's how they got Splash. So, Beck, you would go up. We did ours. The lights go out. Mm-hmm. Then I think who was doing the...

I'm trying to be really respectful of Beck because I know he's misunderstood some things in the past. Beck, did you want to say more about Splash before we move on? I thought he was done with and that's how we got Splash. But I've been wrong about this kind of thing before. Obviously, I thought you were wrong when I came on stage during the middle of your set. Thank you. I actually feel like I really appreciate you saying

that and asking if I was done talking about it. So you're done with Splash or you wanted to say something else? No, I'm not done. Splash was like nobody had ever done anything like that before. That's big for you.

It was a hot woman, but with a tail. And then there was Tom Hanks. Couldn't do it today. We'd never be allowed to do that anymore. Well, they're trying to do it with Channing. Right. They couldn't do the same movie. Don't be like, okay.

But he's not going to. Don't, when I say they couldn't do that, be like, oh, well, they actually are doing it. I know they're doing that. But they're doing it. They couldn't do that same thing again. Which is why they're doing it with a man. Right. That's what I'm saying.

I'm saying that. We're saying that. You're not saying that. You're not telling me that. I'm telling you that. No. Right. I'm agreeing with you. I'm adding on. No. I'm telling you that. Right, I'm agreeing with you.

I'm adding on. How is that agreeing when you say no? No, I said they... Wait, what did you say? So I know you're into groundbreaking. Is your groundbreaking new way of agreement is to say no to people? Like when you think the same thing?

This is the sound thing. Yeah, actually, that's how I've gotten a lot of my ideas. I'll say, so give me an idea. Give me an idea, just any idea. I've heard that you're like this at Weekend Live. Yeah, well, you've got to look out for number one. Okay, my idea is... A fantasy league, but with the Weekend Live guys.

No, a fantasy league with the Weekend Live guys. Oh. Okay, so he's like a green... Now it's my idea. But he's claiming it. A true alpha. Yeah. Well, I got to say, I'm intrigued.

What was the, like... I'm done talking about Splash. Thank you. We can move on. Good, we will. Now, Hayes wanted to talk about that actual... The lights were out, and you, it was like one of us was supposed to do the everybody turn in your tests. Right.

And I think you were, I think I was supposed to do it, but I had that thing. I had asked you to do it. I had that thing at the time where I would. I was like, hey, man, can you do you do this is really important for this new bit that people haven't seen seen anything like it and you're like yeah i i'll do it for you i'll help you out after shows at that time it's super important to my act after shows at that time i would do because i would be the funny fox in the fables and so i would uh be licking the back of my hand a lot on stage and so after the show of my hand a lot on stage.

And so after the show, I would drink a big milkshake with a tiny straw just to sort of cool everything down. And so I think I delegated it to you. Right. But I didn't pass along, I guess, some. The instructions were not as specific as they could have been. I assume it's a comedy show. We're having fun. It'll be cool if I ad-lib a little bit

on this teacher's hand in your test. That's a pretty dry line. People kind of know me for my comedy. Does students hand in your test? Again, see, I'm doing it again. But it's funnier if it's teachers. If it's teachers hand in your test, all of a sudden I'm like, okay, where am I?

Well, yeah, but that's not what I read. I love how you love this groundbreaking stuff, like students taking the test. Yeah, well, that's, I know. in your test all of a sudden I'm like okay where am I I need a little bit you love this groundbreaking stuff like students taking the test yeah well that's I have seen that

well we could have workshopped it or something you could have come over to my apartment and we could have no need man I already got the fucking heat

don't ask him to do it if you want you know but I didn't ask him to do it yeah but you asked me and you know I'm not going to be

this milkshake is going to take me fucking forever. I didn't know about the milkshake. No, I didn't know you guys that well. Well, and he had to bandage up his hands, too. Now, Beck, I know that's not true. What, that I didn't know you guys? You didn't know us personally, but you knew the shit we were doing at the time. You didn't know the stories of the milkshake.

There wasn't a single person in that scene who didn't know about the milkshake. Yeah, but I thought that he could do it just later. I didn't know when exactly. Okay, so yeah, I knew about the milkshake. Yeah, but I thought that he could do it just later. I didn't know when exactly. Okay, so yeah, I knew about the milkshake. Okay, so then you asked him to do something during milkshake time. Yeah, your mouth is so scratchy, do it later. Yeah, just wait. Let your mouth be scratchy.

So that's disrespectful. And this is kind of what pissed me off at the time is I get a little bit of a mama bear vibe around Hayes, I think. And when I see somebody shoving him around, tell him, wait to put your hand bandages on, even though he licked the frigging skin off the back of his hand, wait to drink your milkshake, even though his throat's so scratchy. Five shows of nice. There was actually no talk about the milkshake.

Constant licking. If my man over here had said, you know, hey, the milkshake, what? Don't what? You asked him to do it, and what he said was, I'll take care of it. You said, I need somebody to do this line. He said, I'll take care of it. You assumed that meant he was doing the line. But in

fact, he was passing it off to your boy. To my man over here. The fucking Clem Dog Supreme who got in there, took a dry line, like teacher's hand in your test or whatever it was. It was students handing your tests. I don't back you.

And you said teachers handing your tests. And what did you do? I'm sorry. And what did you do? You said the line, which was wrong. Yeah. And then? And then I kept going.

And you pulled up your underwear into your butt crack. And I said, I'll show you anatomy. And you, yes, you did the thing, my thing, before me. And so when I did that, when I pulled my underwear up into my butt crack and walked around like a duck, nobody really cared. Beck, I never seen that in my life when I did it. It just inspiration struck me. Well, yeah, because the line, students, hand in your test, is the perfect setup for that.

So you were like, so you said. Reversing it. Reversing what? I think the line is teachers. Well, no, it was students, but you said teachers. And then you did my physical bit. Well. That was like the whole act. i tell you why is a teacher

pulling up his underpants yeah and saying no no i'm just bad it's just because i'm the student i'm the student you're the teacher saying students turn in your test and i'm the the student who doesn't give a rat's ass as a performer back, Beck, when I see material that has problems, I have a responsibility to the audience to try to correct that. Oh, so... That's a contract I've gone into with the audience where, hey, I'm asking you to trust me.

You're paying your hard-earned shekels to come in here and hopefully get your troubles. And your time, your steps are trusting me with your evening that's it is sacred to me people fall in love in that audience so you're not sorry for what you did you're not sorry for i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry for what happened and we're very sorry that you got so mad yes well i'm very sorry you didn't understand what was happening because that wound up in some real hurt feelings. I didn't even react that poorly.

Like, I wasn't even that upset. I was like, hey, man, why did you do my duck? You didn't react that poorly? Yeah. Beck. That's what I chose to say. That's how it, what? Let's be honest.

You didn't react that poorly? Poorly. Yeah, I didn't react poorly. You poured Hayes' milkshake all over his head. And I wonder if that's... I'd say that's pretty poorly. And then he didn't have it to drink. And it made his hand bandages come unstuck, came off, and pulled the freaking skin off his fingers.

Yeah, but then... And I had just started. And you knew I had just started. Because I said that. You grabbed it from me. I said, I just started that. I just started a drink bag. Because you blamed him for what I did.

Now what you should have done... Is pour the milkshake on you. Yeah. You should have poured the milkshake on me. And I would have liked to see you try it. Maybe I will. At the time, I was very fast. Yeah, maybe you will.

And now you're slow. Even a fast drink. Hey, I lost a step. That's a slow drink coming out. Even a fast drink. Oh, at the time, even if it had been like a boba tea. I mean, I guess parts of that are slow. It could have been Gatorade? Like a boba tea. I mean, I guess parts of that are slow. It could have been Gatorade.

Not in a sport bottle, but traditional. Oh, a sport bottle. Oh, no, it's going. Everywhere. Straight in your eyeball. Yeah. So, I mean, obviously you're here to apologize. No.

What? I thought I was here for you guys to apologize. No. What? I thought I was here for you guys to apologize to me. My publicist, who, by the way, I can't stand all this attention

I've been getting lately ever since I hired a publicist. Why are they focusing on me? Because you're paying. I just want the work to be the star.

You know? Like, like okay i write this thing this other person says it's the funniest thing they've ever said in their life i'm the writer who does it i you know i write some book about it i hire a publicist go on a book tour right and then all of a sudden everyone wants to ask me about it. It's because you hired a publicist, though. I don't know that I did. But anyway, mine said to me. Somebody did. I don't remember who it was. Yes, and that's the thing.

Well, it's a big team. I have people on my team I've never met. Yeah, me too. It's a big team over there. I have an email saying it says Beck Bennett's team. I don't know who it is. Yeah. I don't know who I'm replying to.

Half the name's on there. I'm just like, okay, I hope it's okay for them to see this. I don't even see names. I just see my team. Beck Bennett's team. I don't know who it is. Yeah. I don't know who I'm replying to. Half the name's on there. I'm just like, okay, I hope it's okay for them to see this. I don't even see names, I just see my team. No, I see both. It's changing so often. I asked to see both because I didn't feel safe. As soon as they pick up the phone and are like, Team Bennett, I'm like, hi, Tracy.

And they're like, oh, Tracy's moved on. Right. I'm like, this is Diane. Yeah, I'm like, I finally got used to Tracy. This is Diane. You're like, this is Michael. This is Bob. See, we're not so different.

We've got big teams. Right. So sometimes stuff gets lost in communication, I think. We're learning a little bit. I guess so. And what I was told was you were here to finally apologize for you dumping milkshake on Hayes when you should have tried dumping on me and you would have found out where that milkshake ended up. And I would have found out where the milkshake ended up?

Oh, yeah. You would have found out where the milkshake ended up trying to dump it on me, brother. Where would it have ended up? And you ain't going to like it. You would have. Guess where you wouldn't want it. That's why you don't know. And so you're proving that you didn't find out.

Yeah. Like in Splash. In your parents' bed. Mm-hmm. Well, I'm glad I didn't try to throw it on you. Yeah, because you want a milkshake in your parents' bed when they're on vacation because then by the time they get back, the milk stinks. I know. Do you?

Yes. Because you seemed like you were surprised to hear it. When I said it, you made a face like, would that happen? You're misunderstanding what my sounds and my looks. Okay. Now he's trying to turn it around on me. No, I think it's just Val. Call him Boomerang Bennett.

You think you can turn it around? Yeah, Captain Boomerang. I call myself Captain Boomerang Bennett. You call yourself Captain Boomerang Bennett? How does Jack Courtney feel about that? I don't care. He can't like it. I don't care.

You don't care. You don't care what Jack Courtney thinks about you calling... Okay. Because I do what I need to do. This doesn't work if we're not honest with each other. This kind of stuff doesn't work if we're not going to be honest. You don't care what Jack Courtney feels about you calling're not going to be honest. You don't care what Jai Courtney feels about you calling yourself Captain Boomerang Bennett.

I don't care. I don't care anymore. At some point, I have to do what I want. Well, you've been really great on Weekend Live. We love the political guy. Thank you so much. There's always great material

and information that they're giving us. You just take something universal, and then you blow it up. Can I posit just a situation to you? Yeah. You talk about Jai Courtney like that on this show. Jai Courtney comes on to host. It's Monday night, and he's like, oh, like meeting everybody. It's a pitch meeting, sure.

Shaking everybody's hand. And you stride in. And I'm like, I'm Captain Kangaroo. Season four. You say what? I meant to say I'm Captain Boomerang Bennett. Do you fuck up? I don't understand.

Are you fucking up in this situation? Hey, I'm Captain King. I'm Captain Boomerang Bennett. Okay. This is seeming like it's going poorly. You would never. What? I'm sorry.

The introduction? No, it's just my publicist. People want to interview me, which I'm so sick of. Do you want to talk about your book on here? My book? It's dumb. It honestly is so dumb. But it might make everything a lot easier.

Talk about your book. No, no, I shouldn't. It's just a book. It says that basically a lot of the stuff that you like, it was all my idea. It's called It Was My Idea. I'm holding a big light bulb over my head. Hey, that, yeah. And then I've got a basket of light bulbs behind me that have my name on them,

and I'm dragging them home too. And it's It Was My Idea, and then it's in that voice. You push the button on the front of the cover, and it says that. There's a tape recorder in it. And then when you open it, there's stories of things that you like that maybe mistakenly you were enjoying without thinking about whose idea it was, and I'm telling you, no, that's wrong. You should be thinking about me while you enjoy this.

And are they actually your ideas? Are they things that you came up with? Well, it's a gray area, but read the book. Oh, tell me everything that's in the book. Well, I don't know. I'll just tell you, and then no one will have to buy the book. The podcast is essentially free. This podcast is definitely free.

Essentially. Essentially. It's like a manner of speaking, yeah, but again, that's another gray area because. Yeah, you have to buy the phone. You got to buy a computer. You have to buy internet. You have to pay for phone service. Well, it's a lot like health.

But that is honestly what the society, and George Carlin had a lot of interesting stuff to say about this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a total modern man thing. Yeah, he's a top drawer low life from a middle class family with a bottom dealing casino. And he's a modern man. I'm a modern man.

I pod a cast, but when I cast a pod, I'm casting modern man I pod a cast but when I cast a pod I'm casting a fishing line students turn in your test I want another minute please yeah I mean it's the first line that I don't like get

like what's happening in that? The voices are so similar. I'm a pottern man. You know? A pottern man? What is that? Just talking about podcasts. I think you meant like a pottern man.

Not a podtern man. I heard pottern. When Sean did it, I don't know if you're deliberately going the other way, but when Sean did the voice, one of the voices was very Chinese. It was a very Chinese voice. Super Chinese, yeah. About as Chinese as you're going to find this side of the equator. Yeah.

I mean, that was the only thing I liked about it. Without being, yeah. Was that it was very accurate. Without being like offensive. equator. Yeah. I mean, that was the only thing I liked about it. Without being, yeah. Was that it was very accurate. Without being like offensive. Yes. Yeah. Well, I think people were distracted from the bit. They were just focusing on the authenticity of your Chinese accent.

Well. But that distinguishes it from the teacher, you know, from whichever one is the teacher and which is the student. I don't even know if you know anymore. Yeah. No. Well, that's the whole point was that there was no difference. See, nobody got that. Nobody understood that. At minimum, the difference should be one of them is Chinese, if only for people being able to keep track of what's going on.

And I understand that. I like that, but I don't like that you changed it from students to teachers. And I understand that. I like that. But I don't like that you changed it from students to teachers. Yeah. I don't. I mean, again, I'm not sure you even have it right now.

I think you're flipping it. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you don't know. Let me. So if it's all the same. It's an experimental. It was like an experimental act. It was groundbreaking.

Who cares? We're all successful. We're all rich. Exactly. Let's just put it behind us. It's a million years ago. No, no, no. Because what he's saying, that it's all the same is ridiculous. Tell me if this works, Beck.

Yeah. Attention students and students. That's actually not a bad idea. That would never work. But it has to be different. It has to be attention teachers and students. What if we were attention students and students and students, and students, and teachers? Well, but you put in a different one.

And check this out for size. All right. Attention, students, and students, and teachers, mon. That's good. Yeah, I'm telling you that's good. Because I made one of them different, and the guy who's talking is frigging from an island. Get over yourself, man. We're all fucking rich.

We're all kicking ass. We're all married to babes. We're slamming down filet mignon and shrimp. It was a million years ago. And courvoisier. And courvoisier. And courvoisier. Yeah, yeah. And you're on Weekend Live and we're doing all kinds of projects.

I got my book. It was my idea. It sounds a lot like my voice. Chapter one. Tell me you didn't just say that. No, to me it sounded like that. Do yourself a favor, read the book. You might find out whose voice it is.

Okay. Do you want to just play some of the audio book? Can we hook up the thing? Can we hook up the thing, Engineer Ryan? I would love to hear some of those. That thing? Yes, that thing. of those. That thing? Yes, that thing.

Thank you. That thing? Okay. Do we want to do the foreword by Mark Ruffalo? Yeah, that's the part that I think is most relevant here. Welcome to Audible. You're listening to It Was My Idea

from Simon & Schuster forward by Mark Ruffalo. In my salad days I would often sit and reflect on what had led me to the career I'd found was it my groundbreaking performance

in You Can Count On Me where first time director Kenneth Lonergan took a chance on a young New York theater actor in a starring role in a movie or was it simply that I met the one man with all the ideas at the perfect time? I think it was the latter, and I'll tell you why. I sit now on my veranda, sipping a tall glass of whiskey, and looking at the front of a newspaper

where the top headline reads, Sean Clements had the idea for the voice for the teacher thing. That's what I did. The newspaper article is as true today as it was in 1979 when it was reprinted on its 30th anniversary. What else? Holy shit. There's a lot of that. What else is around?

Oh, I got a... I have like a pressure washer on my deck. You get the idea. Yeah, we can start. I owe you an apology. Yeah. Maybe more than one. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's starting to get there. I'm sorry. It's not Beetlejuice, you know? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Doesn't work like Beetlejuice. Sorries aren't Beetlejuices, Beck. I was told that if you say sorry three times, then people will accept it. No.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's tricking you. Yeah. Sorry ain't Beetlejuice. Reminds me of Beetle Bailey, which is another comic strip that I could have talked about in the episode of John Gabrus' podcast I did. Did you happen to check that out? No. Have you listened to that?

It's very well received. Which one? High and Mighty. It's doing great. Yeah, it's doing really well. Do you know John? No, I don't. Wait, which John? Really funny guy, John Gabrus. Yikes. No, I don't know. Yikes. He's really funny. You would love

his shit if you ever took the time to look at what anyone else was doing. I can't. It's not a good look. I'm not allowed to. There's enough for everyone. Just because Weekend Live they think you're going to have stolen someone's idea and then they get in a nasty lawsuit.

Yeah, so I'm not allowed to look at any other kind of Where do you keep your wooden bicycle? In a shed. That keeps you humble. Where would you think that I would keep my wooden bicycle? I wound up having to burn mine. Why?

Just because the, well, it was a particularly long winter. And you needed it. I had those doors that lock from the. From the outside? Outside, yeah. From the outside of your house? I was, yeah, they were locked from the outside. I'm on the inside.

Of your house, right. Yeah. It's not. Is it a house? It is now. And these doors are not exactly like you pictured them. They open up into the sky, kind of. They don't open straight out, so you have to walk up some steps, and then the doors

are above you, and then, you know. It's like a hatch. Ooh, like Lost. Ooh. Okay. Oh, that was good. That was my idea. Oh, was it?

Lost was, yeah. Unfortunately, it was. unfortunately it was Lost was a show about all these people who got stuck on a little island it was very spooky people think that maybe it was

Beetlejuice running around spooking everybody that it could have been Beetlejuice making the noise yeah because they never answered the question That Beetlejuice was scaring them. Oh, that it could have been Beetlejuice making the noise. Yeah. Because they never answered the question. Where is Beetlejuice in this universe? Did Beetlejuice happen?

No one ever mentioned having watched it. Where Beetlejuice was. And a couple Halloweens passed on the island, and they never really brought up whether they should watch Beetlejuice or recount it to one another, even though they all were of an age where it would have been a pretty important movie to them. It's a lie of omission. Yeah. And so if you are watching, I mean, people get so into these fan theories, and a lot

of them to me are pure hunky. Pure hunky? Yeah. Just like, right. Always. Just pure. Yeah. Uncut. Just the raw stuff, the good stuff. Uncut. Just like right. Always. Just pure. Yeah. Uncut.

Just the raw stuff the good stuff. Uncut. Just glistening hunky. Hunky. And but this one does

carry some water which is probably Beetlejuice was just messing with them. Well yeah. It was originally going to be called

Lost Beetlejuice. Yeah. And then that gave it away. That made it a little too clear what was going on. And I think that what they wound up doing was overcorrecting. Right. Which what we would do a lot in our Aesop's Fables driving sketches on stage, we'd be like, oh, you're a little bit too far in the left lane.

And then be like, oh, now you're up against the guardrail. Right. Those are good bits. And then the grapes. Yep. The grapes turn out to be sour in the car and stuff. Trying to weave some of the fables. Putting them in a car.

Because they're looking in puddles and stuff, and it's like, where are we going to put a puddle in a car? But you guys always found a way to do it. It's fun talking. It's fun. It is. I have enjoyed this.

I have enjoyed this. To remember the stuff that we did. And how we came up. And how we came up and look at us all now. It's nice to have a community. So rich. I would say it's nice to have a community and people that you can lean on and sort of go to and ask things about.

Mm-hmm. Yes, love having people to ask things about. Yeah, I know. You know, I could be like. It's necessary for my process to ask things about to people. And that I'm ready to do it. That's so true. Because when I think about, you know, if we didn't have all that, the hardships coming up at the cellar, then I would be having hardships now.

I'd be all alone. There was a time. You would be alone. In my house. Yes. I probably wouldn't have any furniture. I would only have, like, just little. Just a wooden bicycle.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. There was a time when I would have said to my publicist, tell everyone to ask me a question about how I don't have anyone to ask things about, and I'll say, yes, that's true. And that time, I'm happy to say, is in the past now. And what's happening now in my reality is I say, no, I do have people to ask things about. You say, yeah.

Now in my reality is I say, no, I do have people to ask things about. You say, yeah. You tell your publicist to say, tell the reporters to ask you that you do have some people to ask things about. And I will say to them, in fact, I do. And I almost feel like maybe Beck could become one of them. I would love to. Yeah. I mean, we came up together and we know things about where we came from, and we can ask each other things about where we came from and where we're going.

Dude, dude. Honestly. Dude, it's all different wax at the same cup of apples. Right. I mean, you go at it your way. I know. And no, I don't have the same style. And to talk about wax, I have many different-

Which is why we could actually make each other better or- Yeah, I don't have the same style, but I actually am a chameleon and can do all kinds of different styles. Yeah. And was a little bit like that in high school, really, where I blended in with so many different groups of friends and it was like, who are my real friends?

I was like- But also- Are you serious? Are you being serious? Yeah, I was in the band. Oh, back, back. I was like a rock guy. Are you serious? Yeah, I did everything. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I was in the band. I was like a rock guy. Are you serious?

Yeah, I did everything. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah, I was in a band. And I actually played football. I could, yeah. I mean, I wasn't on the team, but I played football and baseball. Yeah.

Okay, I almost think I heard about you. I heard about a guy at the other school. Yeah, I did everything. Who was a chameleon too. I don't know, with everybody. Yeah, I was able to fit in with everyone. Who was good at gym. Yeah.

Yeah, I did all the motorheads. But also did the play. Yeah, I did. Did the play. I did, yeah. And I also. And went to the rock show. Yeah.

Yeah. I would go just with my friends to the show. I'd be as comfortable drinking moonshine with Jimmy Buffett as I would be – Kickflipping with – Warren Buffett. Yeah. But what were you going to say? Well, I was just going to ask you if there was a teacher because when I was in school –

Mr. Garcia's. Mr. Garcia's for me. For you too? Yes. We all had one in our past. What did he do for you? He was the guy who disciplined you. He was the guy who made me think like,

oh, I should probably do some kind of political guy. He would after class. Yeah, he would discipline me, and it was like bad. Like kind of coming up to the cellar was hard at the time, but I feel like if he did not discipline me the way he did, then I would not have people to ask things about him keeping my throwback Kansas City Chiefs starter hat is what made me the person that I am

and him giving me back my co-ed naked tennis t-shirt it's in it's out it's over that's awesome and saying don't wear it in class but on graduation as you're going down the line shaking hands with your teacher,

she says, I have something for you. And sort of, like, gently pulls the T-shirt onto your head. Yeah. And got it kind of stuck on my throat. So, for me, he would throw pies in my face and he had a bottle of seltzer water that he would spray at me. And I think that's why I became so funny because that's what clowns would do. And you based your characters on that, and now it's so clear how you became such a funny.

Students, hand in your papers. That came from Mr. Garcia and all the mean stuff that he would do to me and how I got an opinion and how I've developed that point of view and perspective. So I maybe haven't seen the latest episode of Weekend Live, but your political guy says students hand you your papers. Yeah. Because that is who was based on Mr. Garcia's. So he's saying that? Well, yeah.

I took that act and I kind of put an edge on it. I used my voice, my comedic voice, and I put it into the presidential character that people know. And now it contextualizes it and they understand it and they laugh. That's fucking awesome, man. I love hearing that. It's insane. It's been crazy. Yeah. It's been so crazy. it's been a really crazy ride and it's nice that we sit every now

and then and just reflect and go like how did I get here and it's nice stuff has become so weird just everything is like put your phones away go outside don't record my show you're at the show Put your phones away In the audience Go outside and put your phone away

Don't record my show You're at the show You don't need a video of it to show somebody on Instagram He did the students And it's also great to destroy hecklers Dude, I love destroying hecklers Because now that I'm at this place Where I can just do that

I love having a heckler destroyingdestroying riff ready to go. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's the most epic thing. It's so insane. Because people are not on the heckler side. Right. And I like to use that cleverly to my advantage.

So good. That's sort of a weakness I've found. Epic. Is that I have the microphone. Yeah. And so I might. It that I have the microphone. And so I might... It ends up being so epic. And I love naming the video Comedian

Destroys the Heckler Epically, but it's to my own account. You've got to keep your name out of it so it seems like somebody else did it. Oh, yeah. Or it seems like I didn't know the heckler. I do now, live. That's all I do is destroy hecklers.

You do it on Weekend Live, live. That's all I do is destroy hecklers. Yeah, that's become... You do it on weekend live, yeah. As a politician. And people will try to... It's almost like they're coming for you now. The hecklers? Yeah. They want to be a part of it.

They like to be a part of it. Mm-hmm. It's... They like to get destroyed by the one and only. So, Beck, you've got a movie about hot air balloons coming out. Mm-hmm, yeah. They are... Well, this one, it's like... destroyed by the one and only. So, Beck, you've got a movie about hot air balloons coming out. Yeah. They are, well, this one, it's like, it's about a guy who, everybody's doing hot air balloons, and he doesn't have the cloth to make the balloons, but his parents own a salami

factory, so he makes the balloon out of salami. Salami balloon man. Salami balloon boy. Salami Balloon Man. Salami Balloon Boy. Yes, that's right. You start very young and Balloon Man will ideally be the sequel. Falcon Heaney. Let's just say that the birds like

salami, and when the balloon's going into the air, that's when it becomes pretty exciting. Now, how do you establish that? Because I don't think of that as being something that birds like offhand. Right, well, you just... Bread, yes. Crackers, yes. that's when it becomes now how do you establish that because I don't think of that as being something that birds like offhand right well you just bread yes crackers yes

right one thing that I think could be helpful if you don't have this is an insert shot of someone grinding the salami out of one of those machines where it comes out

looking like little worms and because birds do eat worms and so it might be nice if you're sort of braiding together salami worms and the birds. And maybe, yeah, the same bird would have to see that salami as worms and then see it later when it doesn't really look like worms anymore.

But it would be like, oh, I remember when that was worms to me. Yeah. Yeah. And yes, the bird has to be watching it get made and go, no matter what form these worms take in the future. I'm going to remember the lami. I'm going to eat them. And I think that I'm very happy this is being recorded because I think this movie is going to be a big hit for you,

and we'll look back and go, it was my idea. Well, yeah, I'm super happy to collaborate. Yeah. And so, yeah. No, if that is in the movie and you have two other movies about hot air balloons coming out and those are both coming out this year

do you want to talk a little bit about the idea behind them yeah well so the first one so one of the other ones yeah you did the first one right the second one is about how everybody's making air balloons, everybody's flying around with them.

I like the area. But this one guy, Dougie, doesn't have the cloth to make the balloons. Uh-oh. Dougie. I've only had some sort of creative solution. Can I ask, what's Dougie's family business? It's cheese. Oh, no.

Oh, no. You know, I'm just thinking about the idea, and I'm kind of like, it's insane. It's amazing. So at first, you see him struggling. He tries to make a balloon with Swiss cheese. And the air escapes. The birds eat it. Oh, sorry.

Sorry, sorry. Yeah, no, it's all right. The air escapes. He makes the balloon. Everything's going great. But then it goes poorly. everything's going great but then it goes poorly and he

ends up making it out of Munster cheese like a Munster yeah actually Munster was the doctor you're thinking of Munster's Frankenstein well he does make an appearance

because of the cheese. Cheese is another thing that I do not associate with birds, but I guess you haven't said that birds are in this movie. Yeah, no, birds are not in this movie. It's more about the squirrels in this movie. They've stowed away somehow inside the cheese. Yeah, and so it turns out that there's a whole little squirrel village in the balloon. Might as well be.

And when they go to lift off the fire inside the cheese balloon kills all the squirrels. And it's not really good for Dougie and his cheese family's business. Couldn't the fire just melt the cheese? No. Wait, that good is cheese family's business. Cheese family's

business. Well, it's... I don't know if you were being funny or, like, I don't know. I was just kind of being loose, so, yeah. I guess I was, yeah. Sometimes you are really funny when you're being loose, being relaxed. Yeah. And there was one more movie. Oh, right.

Yeah. There's one more balloon movie. It's, um, so there's, it's about, like, the trend of ballooning and how everybody's making hot air balloons. Oh, wow. Because I actually grew up in Chicago. Wow. In Chicago or near Chicago? Near Chicago.

Oh. Yeah, in New York. I always say, like a lot of people say. Chicago side of New York. The New York side of Chicago. Yeah. The east side. A lot of people will be like, oh, did you actually grow up in Chicago?

Anyway, I didn't. I grew up in New York. Yeah. And so there are all these balloons. This is about an old, it's like an animated man and he loses his wife and he puts all these balloons on his house. Right. I can see how that would – And they're made out of balloons or they're made out of some crazy maybe sauce or something?

It's actually made out of sauce. Yeah. Okay. Now we've got a sandwich. Uh-oh. With some bread. It's kind of like a – it's a gravy actually. It's made out of gravy.

Oh, strange. Yeah. But it's good and it's delicious. It's a delicious movie. And here's – and I love – It's kind of like Sunny with a Chance of Meatballs. Yeah. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Well, but you put a twist on it, which I love. And here's the noise I'm going to make to let you know that I love that. Oh. Thanks, man. Yeah. Yeah, thank you so much. That's sweet of you. Thank you.

I'm excited about my balloon movies because nobody has been really doing the balloon movies. Do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah. The balloon movies that are going to be coming out are going to be great,

and I would love it if people went and saw them. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook is brought to you by Wolf Cool Productions, a subsidiary of Calvin and Hobbes. Ow, baby.