Hollywood Handbook - Ben Lee and Ione Skye, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

The Boys enter arbitration with BEN LEE and IONE SKYE to divide up their weird couple behaviors. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast i mean sorry but like isn't this so us like is this i was kind of thinking that exactly like this is so us look even the way we're sitting it's like so perfectly completely us and like it's a very us moment to make to take something like this which could be it's giving us vibes oh it is serving us no it's it's giving us and and also it's an us moment. But this is a situation, obviously, that could be adversarial, contentious. And for us to say, well, let's make a podcast out of it. Come on. I think there's content here.

Yes. Let's talk about it. Let's just have it all out in the open. I mean, we're so big on translucency here. Yes. let's just have it all out in the open i mean we're so big on translucency here yes and just to say like hey man like uh why don't you find out how the sausage gets made because this comes up every now and then like there's so many podcasts there's so many shows like people are going to step on each other's toes yeah there's going to be overlap and then you just

sort through it i noticed no no i, no, I put it on sleep. I put it on sleep. Because a lot of typing, a lot of typing for putting it on sleep. I was nervous. But wait, I'm deeply into this, the two couples. We just want to make sure for that. Exactly, exactly. We, like, all our phones are in view.

You notice we're not texting at all. We're not communicating with each other. Except on the microphone. And no other advisors no sort of like counsel i think we agreed that this was going to be cleanest if we did it just together we got to get to the bottom of things i mean no we do we do um uh but i only are here um i brought my therapist so i thought we could because while we're sitting in these couches but i didn't know it'd be just us yeah well just have him circle if they could just be circling yeah the parking is bad but

yeah yeah circle that's fine but let's get out in front of like the positive which is like we're aware of the show you know obviously we're fans we love the idea yeah you know no one is more familiar with um embracing the weirdness of your kind of couple dynamic yes my hand is out here for you to kind of doing this for a few years like like no one's more aware of it yes and you notice he missed the handholds the first time i could feel the breeze from the missed handhold. But we're clumsy. We're awkward. That's like the weirdness of our thing. And so,

and there's room in the space to have more than one show that explores that. Yeah. A lot of room at the top. A lot of room at the top. But we actually,

we consider ourselves students. We're here at the feet of the masters. Oh, that's very good. I mean, we're new. You know, we are Johnny-come- come lately's to the pod

game we know that we did yes we have been around for a lot yes that's part of why it's even you know a conversation that's so weird that's what's so kind of weird about that was weird to me to say oh i think we kind of do that and they're doing which is like cool i mean that's like actually flattering but just to i mean what do we it's i mean is it an arbitration i think like where we're just going to kind of figure out how to like be able to it's a margin call it's a margin call because we have to move forward and i want both shows to succeed and i want them to succeed independently without us kind of butting heads all the time and like hating each other and like being pissed off every time I consider that you guys are like Lil Kim

and we're like you know another generation coming where there's Nicki Minaj you go further down you know whatever right you know and and we are I think it succeeds for multiple generations if rather than feeling threatened, you take us under your wing. That we're protégés of sorts. We get the co-sign. Right. Or we stop. Or you stop. That's the other way.

That's the other way to think about it. One of us wins, one of us loses, and one of them just stops. But wouldn't it have been exciting if when Nicki had first emerged, because I do feel like it's a good example that Lil' Kim and Nicki Minaj, both great artists, both incredibly creative, but if Lil' Kim had said, maybe I talk about,

and give an example of like one of her lyrics. Like about sex? Do you mean maybe? She goes, maybe I talk about, okay, maybe I talk about this realm of sex. And you explore this one. And then we each have our own lane. Draw the line at the belly button.

And it would force, those kind of boundaries force creativity, right? Or a vertical division. Yeah. So to make sure we don't cut yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and i think that's like then again now with nikki and i actually think right and left that's how i want to split it okay right and left you talked about everything going on the right side right wing sex and left wing sex i talk about the left

that'd be interesting yeah you know it's just the one side yeah cool and that invites like such vivid specific details if every two very rich song was only about like the just the right side of an anaconda or just only a right butt cheek or yeah did he i like i mean this is something she talks about she raps about she actually has talked about yeah that's not he's not just like inventing do you know that in tantra there's like the right-handed path and the left-handed path so this is something we talk about a lot that's our show that's all we're actually that'll be ours really love if other podcasts are not talking about that stuff has been with that sort of established as like that's our home turf yeah so um i do know

that and and listeners will know that i know that and it'll talk about you talk about the talk about the show i'll show just yeah just tell us about the show i mean your show. You know, got an audience here. Plug your show, babe. Me plug the show? Not me plugging the show. Yeah, I mean, we have less of a theme than you. We have nothing. We're the Seinfeld. We have nothing.

We have no concept. It's nothing. That's kind of us. It's no idea. That's a little bit. There's no idea. I'll tell you, our lifestyle is more aspirational than yours. I feel for listeners.

I don't know, though. Also, you look like a cool surfer, but you're from the East Coast. It's like everything's hitting. Everything's hitting. Well, yeah. It's like some sort of cognitive dissonance there. Everything is hitting both different and same yeah you're working with the australian you're like the australian of the pair

you're working with a more yes and that is also something that was sort of ours we talk about that one of us is not not one of us is less officially australian but is culturally and every every other way yeah i'm australian yeah our part is we we fight a little we sorry we talked a lot about what he is yeah yeah yeah sorry no i mean i mean do me yeah yeah let's do you let's do you yes yeah uh i'm getting um let's read let's read Okay I'm getting We have a A friend who is an amazing Aspiring actor And personal trainer

Yes And I think that PT actor crossover Is like You could dominate that shit Actor But like Not working

But also Is Working out Yes Yeah So And smarter than you look. Yes.

Like, yes. Fucking yes, dude. But anyway, your show. I just had to get that out of the way. Yeah. Our podcast is, I think a lot of people, like, marriage, you know, without sounding like a family values politician or something, marriage is something people have become increasingly, I think,

skeptical about. And we are two artists who were not. We know about that. Sometimes even us. We even are sometimes skeptical. No one was putting bets on our relationship to survive. Put it that way. Like, you know we even are sometimes skeptical no one was putting bets on our relationship to survive put it that way like you know what i mean like so so i think people get some comfort in just watching two like artistic people who are quite odd in their own right kind

of making it work together much like you guys yeah but our birds yes flock together but are they getting pleasure out of it because they even though they lost money on it is what you're saying wait who lost money well you're saying no one was betting on oh yeah i do remember someone very specifically on twitter saying i give these guys six months when we got married and i do i honestly did you search the hashtag what was the hashtag no but it was enough you didn't have a hashtag at all? Look, that was all the motivation I needed to keep the marriage healthy. I was like, I am going to prove this one Twitter user wrong. No, I mean, some of the strongest relationships are built on spite competition.

Yeah, against anonymous social media users. Absolutely. Yes, yes, yes. No, I mean, you can get motivated by the haters. I think, what did somebody say when we first started the podcast they were like i bet these guys aren't even gonna do five months like very similar yeah a little even worse yeah even harsher yeah they said and then look at us we're going for how long is the marriage now well we're like what 15 years or something

but i feel like that's us too that's no i feel like five like you guys are what 10 seasons in uh 10 uh the marriage yeah we don't look at it in season no no whatever so much it's like but what five years you've been doing it like 10 10 10 years 11 years 11 years of recording and then not obviously another five years of us being having done it anyway i mean 10 years of recording and then obviously another five years of us having done it anyway. I mean, 10 years of podcasting is worth like 20 years of marriage. I think keeping a podcast together is arguably has a lower success rate than marriages even. Yeah, I appreciate you saying that because a lot of people have tried to make the opposite argument that our podcast is a less sacred bond than their marriage. And for you to come in and say, this is more impressive. This is stronger.

This is more important. That puts us in a good tax arrangement. Like for money is like somehow is like more meaningful than actually sitting and talking to each other yeah and being filmed did your guys parents approve of each other so uh not at first not at first it was not an easy you know i put i put my foot my mouth a little bit with uh the folks his pair i mean like and i was so nervous too because i was freaking out oh my gosh no thank god i didn't say that that's so fucking crazy that is like why your show works like milk the cat moment no no i didn't say that like what is that yes i'm like i didn't even want to ask

what like what are you talking about What is that? De Niro. Meet the Faulkner. Wait, was that De Niro? Meet the parents. Meet the Faulkner. Faulkner. Yeah. But the joke has been given too much air time. And they did that? And they did that? They did that. There was a moment.

They did that? There was a reference to it, to milking a camel. They did that? Don't. No, no, no, no. No, I was just swearing a lot. I was swearing at his dad like i don't know why he was scared when he gets scared and i get scared i get very aggressive and i just was like and you know and saying i think um just going like let's dive right into like some like

religion politics stuff and just like taking big swings like stuff i don't because i don't i don't know anything about that shit you know but i hear stuff so i was just going like how about this and then um really doubling tripling down on some uh i guess controversial ideas i did mushrooms with her family the first day i met them because yeah good bonding i don't know why i was was i doing i don't think i was no you weren't for some reason my position essentially was that my mom that jesus took the longest piss ever in recorded history like while he was in human form walking on there like that would have to be true right because this is a person who has you know all of the sacred celestial powers of like the almighty and so you're telling me you could take a longer piss than jesus god son so i was really like hitting that hard like i was just like you know like

tom what's the longest leak you ever fucking drained out and then as soon as he starts i was like jesus jesus uh top that by a damn sight and it started to just get really fiery and i don't know why i cared you know i still think i'm right by the way which is like part of what he never actually weighed in on whether or not you were right as i recall he never he never took a position on whether or not that was correct yeah that's right didn't really want to engage with it i guess maybe tried to try to move on a few times which i took as like dodging it like kind of and like basically disagreeing and saying that no he had um but what happened when you took wait wait hang on a second hang on a second so that you were saying

jesus took the longest pierce and your dad was saying no he had had the longest i mean no my dad i think that's what he was kind of expecting. Oh, okay. That was what I was prepped for. I was loaded for bear, man. My dad was prepared to answer the longest piss he ever leaked out. He did contribute that. I didn't expect him to have an answer so quickly.

He knew, yeah. But he did know. I guess he was stuck in a cab ride in traffic. On the way from Disneyland or something. That's a long ride. That's exactly. Wait. Yeah, that's exactly.

Okay, so you. That happened to you too? Yeah. The cab for Disneyland. But Jesus was longer than yours as well. Yeah, that had to be longer. No offense, I mean. My dad traumatized my relationship to urination

when i was a young boy he told me that we were staying in a holiday house with really thin walls and so you could you know you could hear everybody was that holiday halloween no no no like what no holiday think about that kind of house which one was it like i've been in some holiday houses that are Halloween themed. They are freaky. I wouldn't want to stay in there. I usually just walk through and then you go out the back. Oh, yeah.

No, no, no. This was like the Australian holiday kangaroos around the outside and everything. But he told us that you could judge a man the size of a man's ego based on if he urinated directly into the water in a toilet okay so everyone could hear them or if they protected everyone's experience by peeing against the side and this is what i've been saying i would say like no ego get it all over don't even this is where so ben does something when he's done pink he karate chops you know the last thing a guy does tap no no some people shake you so i wonder i just kind of people shake it oh no i i wonder no it shouldn't have done that it shouldn't have done that discipline i just

want to like let it know what What you just did was wrong. This is not going to happen again. You will never do that to me again. You know? So yeah, I wonder if that happened in that moment. You just. Do you know another weird thing I do when I pee? I spit in the toilet.

Why? Every time we're in the urinal. That's ours. We talk about that. Before I pee. It's almost like I'm just like testing for. That's ours. We talk about that. Before I pee. It's almost like I'm just testing for depth or something. I didn't know that. Yeah, I don't know. It's weird. Maybe you're superstitious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also did mushroom when I first met his dad. He had an enormous portobello. One mushroom. It did mushroom. And at the time I thought his dad can be a little intimidating. I don't think he means to, but it can be a little intimidating.

That's the thing is it feels like he's doing it on purpose, but it is just his bearing. You know, he has a very severe brow and like big booming voice. And he runs everywhere. So like in the house, like when he's like going to get something he is like straight up booking with no warning he'll just suddenly spring up from the table and just sprint really hard like right at you and like reach over your head and yeah so it's it's yeah a little bit and i'm so used to it but it can be like this. Yes. And so I did mushroom. I had been doing some research in this area at the time

and the properties of these natural ingredients because I thought I was trying to become bigger, huger. I thought it was going to make me grow in a way so I could be bigger than my dad grow in a way so i could be like bigger than his dad and you know where we to start like grappling or something like that i would be able to like jump on at least have a size of andrew he could get on top of him it'd be hard to move off yeah right yeah from that song which song jefferson not jefferson yeah jeff. One mushroom makes you huger. And the other mushroom helps you fight his dad.

Or I guess that one helps you fight the dad. But once again, you guys are looking at these power dynamics in an adversarial manner. We said that we weren't. Early on, early on we did. And I feel like we, I thought we were all kind of talking about like look how far we've come like we've grown up a lot haven't we yeah yeah but we are feeling because others have entered this space that we need to step things up a little bit get into like do we need to make it more official is this piece of paper like what it

takes to like become a real couple podcast like yeah like an llc with piece of paper so um for us to join we're joining just like yeah yeah because i think they're loving lads Loving Lads Contract. That's good. LLC. That's right. The Loving Lads Contract. Oh, it does stand for it. That does actually say LLC too.

That's so crazy. That actually did. It's so funny. That actually did. Yeah. We're now moving forward calling all LLCs Loving Lads Contract. I'm having to milk the cat. This is crazy And so

Getting married like sure we'll get married You want us to get like if you want us to get married We will get married like honestly whatever I don't care I've already done the harder part which is keep a podcast Going for 10 years What's your worst have you guys had like real Fights

Yeah absolutely He stomped On my chest What's your worst? Have you guys had real fights? Yeah, absolutely. Wait, you're getting? He stomped on my chest while I was asleep. Stomped it. And then he said there was, what did you say was on me? A scorpion? You were camping. We were sort of glamping. We built a fort yeah i don't know if that's

yeah it's sort of a glamping thing like we're we were sleeping like in a house in our house yeah but we had made like a fort like a tent like it was a sheet and pillows and it was so yeah i mean it was and we were pretending yeah that there was um a fire you know obviously we're not allowed to do that inside anymore your wife said that yeah yeah and that's the thing like yes you can be married and have why i like other wives of course we have lives you know what i mean that's how much we love being married like i don't understand like if you're doing a podcast about being married and like but you can't have wives somewhere else like what like what it's just a funny explain that to me it's like if you were if someone was

going to uh perform surgery on you i'm not wishing that on anyone here but you would probably want someone who had done it before maybe someone who did it a lot but now if we want to get married yes if we've done that before that's not allowed yeah well it's just like don't you want someone getting married who has experience being married and is maybe even doing it every day like that to me is just like i i i'm not sure i get the man oh i have a podcast about movies where I love movies so much. I talk about them. Oh, what movies do you talk about? Oh, just Primal Fear.

That's the only movie I talk about. Just one. I'm not allowed to talk about any other movies. That is honestly what we're saying. What do we say? Like, it's weird to do a podcast about being married to each other. The Doughboys only covered Panera. Right? Yeah, exactly. do a podcast about being married to each other the doughboys only covered panera i mean like right yeah exactly well that's what cult leaders are really good at that like they

talk about they basically say they're so good at love they have so much love that to limit themselves to only one partner would be it would be like you know withholding from the world this should this is your show i mean this is what like polyamorous people i think talk about too they just have so much to give so much to give right yeah but you guys have always had a monogamous i feel like you're sort of throwing something out there right so this is what we opened this up a little bit did i did i just pick that he just like tossed that out there a little bit yeah it's grooming. It kind of sounds like the idea you're talking about reminds me of some stuff I've heard about polyamorous.

It's a polyquad, you know? Merging our audiences potentially. We already got like four mics. Like, you know, the camera's already set up. It's like... Yeah. It just feels like, I mean destinizing time you guys well so this is what we have to figure out so i feel like i'm whose show is it i'm gaining a lot

in this scenario more than you guys what you're assuming the attention would be on you i hope you i mean that's it's very self-involved like maybe one of us would be the baby in the polyquad you're being an egomaniac am i the baby or the mom every polyquad has to have a baby that's that's how it works i heard that you love talking about threesomes once in the 90s i'll never forget in like nme she said you know how every threesome has a baby and i was like whoa that's like some wild sexual wow someone is crying i mean that's what yeah that's what she's referring to at least one person crying and maybe more than one but i don't know because the one person who's crying is crying so loud they don't know if anyone else is or not but that is that is how it's gone down. You guys record in chairs.

We do. Why do I look... Does that work? I don't look like I know how to... What do you mean, as opposed to couches? We record in a Shevin-style chair. Okay. Gaming chairs. But we have a network and some of our babies...

Wait a second, you saved on chairs. Hang on, let's not blow by this. He's saying the chairs were cheap. The chairs were cheap, but some of our favorite people on the network. We produce a podcast called Subtle Urban Sex Appeal. And we put them on a- They're on a couch. They're on a couch.

We keep it varied. That's really the strength of our network. A gaming cabinet. If you guys are fancier, you've got it all hooked. Ours is DIY, but with a musician who knows you know the technical side so it sounds good but you know we're in we're in that cables aren't hidden you know what i mean we're that type of podcast we're like yeah we're constantly moving the cables and it's like a nightmare our thing is uh diy as well yeah doing it yearly oh don't let a single year go by every fucking year we don't

miss one no leap that's our promise yeah yeah leap year we skipped yeah yesterday that was yesterday yeah leap day was yesterday leap year is the whole damn year we really are i didn't graduate high school i'm a little intimidated we've got a Latin tutor over here if only I had you I could have graduated yeah who got me smarter than I look eating better is easy with factors

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Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay a lot of these. I know give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two, me walking in my bedroom.

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With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy, but you'll always be glad you did it. Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me so do you guys do you like it's a marriage show like we all do it's not a marriage show when why are you saying it's a marriage i mean what was going on with the show my dude over here explained that that people were taking the short position on your marriage and that the podcast is essentially PR. We're bragging about how well we're doing. It's PR for the marriage.

You're saying it's still here. It's a big fuck you. It's a big middle finger to internet culture. I think I'm the Gracie Allen and he's the george burns or something like that's what sort of happened i'm the kind of ethereal out of it person i'm extremely young so i just there were a couple who were comedic couple back in the day when people did those radio shows the live performances you know those kinds of things so i don't know we we thought it would be fun well we started a variety show in australia and i found a postcard that said let's be weird

together which is this dumb postcard but i gave it to ben on valentine's day or something but simultaneously we're doing this friday show sort of largo style in in aust Australia. It was really good. And we were doing skits. I'm not good at skits, but we were doing them. You did an incredible PowerPoint presentation on the comedy of Rodney Rood. Who's this very un-PC. Filthy Australian comic from the 80s.

Okay, we do that. We talk about stuff. Rodney Rood. But I did a, so the whole shtick was that I would have to, to get into the country and get to stay in Australia,

I have to do this PowerPoint on something Australian. And it went really well. I'll tell you, the reading, the reading I only did of Saturday Night at the Motherfucker's Ball

and followed up by Hey Santa, You Cunt, people were moved. These are all Rodney Rude. These are Rodney Rude pieces. They're pieces. They do sound rude. Santa, all Rodney Rude. These are Rodney Rude pieces. They're pieces. They do sound rude.

Santa, you C word. Yeah. I'm familiar with some of the, I don't know the, every country has their Rodney Rude. Mexico has Sergio Sucio, who I'm more familiar with. Do a deep dive on this.

It's like dice here. Yeah. But even less, like it sounds like you're the the one from mexico is more in the same this rodney roode was andrew dice clay looks like you know i don't even know well andrew dice clay had rick rubin on his side there was some kind of like cultural relevancy in pop culture rodney roode was always a true outsider. It was like real suburban. But popular. And like 25 albums, you know.

Wow. Each one better than the last. So do you guys like kiss on the show and stuff? Yeah, are you like making out or like kiss before the show? Yeah. Like what do you like? We kiss schedule with the show.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. All right. No, but we do a lot of name dropping we got criticized which you guys are great name droppers too oh yeah i'm pro name dropping oh totally what are we gonna do i'm gonna hold all these names you know like come on it's basically like that's what we have them for to me it's just like i'm just talking about like my my actual experience actual friends like i don't like if that's not really named sorry yeah yeah it's like you talk about your friends like just everybody we know i gotta keep it a fucking secret yeah when am i gonna be like uh who's the actor who had all his friends from his childhood and it was like not de niro somebody like that what do you mean i'm not gonna do that they were a movie star

but they kept their friends from their childhood that was the guy from before that was the same guy milking the cat yes yeah but he also he did that he kept his old friends from the neighborhood no it's like mark walberg or something yeah i'm not gonna get my old friends from the neighborhood. You told me that. No, it's like Mark Wahlberg or something. Yeah, I'm not going to keep my old friends from the neighborhood. Yeah, this is your neighborhood. Well, I grew up pretty near here. Oh, okay. So you were into our stuff back then probably too, huh? Yeah.

This has got to be kind of a crazy moment. You made your way in here. Holy shit. I know this neighborhood. Jesus Christ. Wow. Yeah. to just be like started just looking up a little kid outside yeah just look at our our poster painted on my name will be up there you know i'm gonna have four parking spots for myself i know the parking here

is just it is truly a marker of success yeah yeah yeah that uh i mean that was really the big uh thing that got us in here obviously we don't always get the parking a lot of times kevin takes the parking spot and then texts us that there's no parking spots left but y'all are in there so you don't kiss we we don't do we haven't kissed on the podcast i love kissing i it's in yeah in marriage you can forget kissing we do everything else but sometimes i'm like we haven't kissed in a while but as we used to do for a long time sean and i would hold hold both hands uh and be like cheek to cheek during the show yeah um and it was we only had one mic as well yeah only one mic and like yeah but when we started before you could afford the two kind of hurt yeah no

it does it felt sweet but like your neck really hurts it's like an hour plus of that and one of us like and it wasn't always the same but it was like one of us was always sopping wet and the other one was bone dry yes and so your cheek would kind of stick or one cheek would be scratchy and the other one would feel and we tip over really fast we ended up having to kind of do it on our sides yeah just like bring down the mic because we would just tip over so quickly it'd be impossible to figure out who was the one like you're doing your it was like a ouija board type where like something got in some spirit got in us and we like put your arms around each other to like no our hands that were holding sorry i don't i really tried to i really tried to i think i thought it was pretty clear but the hand holding, I would cut that part out.

No, we had both hands and yeah, we would end up kind of with our feet touching as well. I like the versatility of this. It feels like there's room for you guys to sort of have a fluid, I guess, whether it's gender or something. But who's where the power is. It feels like there's room for both of you to take the lead at different times in that position wet dry leads of who's doing what so we've been talking about sitting on each other's laps we've had the lap conversation yes we've talked about it we discuss it and and and it is what you're talking about where it's like we are in agreement no one should have to always be right the one who gets sat on unless it's santa you could enter the cunt no you said that yeah yeah yeah so you did you also said jesus pees for a very long time it's very blasphemous

well so it's blasphemous to say and like i didn't i didn't want to jump in on this one it was with my dad either and like you know this is the last time we talked basically my me and my dad but like so it's blasphemous to say that jesus was possessed with like like more abilities and powers than a normal man that's a compliment they mean it as a compliment yeah yeah i could see that i feel like i'm sinking doesn It doesn't feel like you did see it, though. And imagine when he karate chopped it after. Wow. Yeah. Very gentle or strong.

Who knows? Jesus could go both ways. I feel like Jesus' whole touch was gentle and strong. The essence of his message was in the shake. I believe it would be a very slow, methodical karate chop that then upon impact could create a literal title yes like a superman type thing like where like the immense power the sonic boom yeah yes i mean

he's like summoning his power the whole time yeah yeah dad you know and he calls his penis that well no god no yeah yeah yeah i guess he could the father i guess he could what the lap sitting conversation which we've had yes we've talked about it of course we have to talk um one of us uh has been pursuing a personal training regimen that has made sort of bottom area very sharp.

And so that has, when we've sort of had this conversation, it causes problems well think about what's next because obviously uh fashion uh physical attractiveness like all of these things move in these cycles right it's never one thing for very long yeah you both know we've seen enough trends everything old is new again yes and i want to say this was not intentional like like it it ended up in this trying to make the best of it but it was not but we've seen the big the big bulbous right rear end that has been in fashion yes for a minute and he was trying that's what he was going to achieve fine but that's going to change i promise you like you know if you don't like the weather wait five minutes, if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes. Well, if you don't have the right shaped butt.

He did something. Also. Did something wrong. Also wait a little longer than five minutes it's been. But at some point, having some skin tight jeans where there's triangles poking out. You know what I mean? From each cheek. That is going to be incredibly appealing and the listeners numbers

will show that and i am eager to demonstrate it but you know for now so i don't want to lose it like because i'm being pressured from someone else who does the show to lose what i was promised was a big bulbous cushion to either be on me or to provide the extra support when I am getting to do the sitting. And instead, what I have is two hurt legs or a ruined couch. It's difficult to balance because I am either piercing the couch or when I have something resting on me, obviously you know, well, it's a bipod, isn't it?

It's two stems, really. And so any amount of weight shift kind of sends me toppling over and we're back in the same position we were when we were holding hands like this. Can we get back into how does it correlate the shift in culture towards skinny jeans and bony butts? You said one thing that confused me. You said the listener numbers are going to reflect this. Why is that going to send your podcast numbers booming if butts get skinny?

You see the cameras. Yeah. Gosh, I really thought. It's just going to go viral viral because you're gonna have the perfect butt for the moment i mean right now people i think not been in class like a little hooky it seems like yeah i need some after-school tutoring students but there's a um that there's a sort of saying in the industry, right? Which is, but sells. And that the Patreon numbers currently are on the decline. And I believe that what our listeners are doing is kind of saving up and getting stronger for the moment when i can i love when

i see the numbers go down very fashionable because i know oh my god they're backing up to get a running start at breaking a new record and that is so encouraging for me and i'm going to be able to reward them because i will be recording i'll put the mic behind the couch and i will be bent over the couch from the just like just you know ass facing cam and talking from behind and it'll be like a very visually satisfying and disorienting experience you i mean you could probably take mushrooms with her parents and and watch that show and experience kind of every emotion it does trying to spin like a top too but it doesn't with two of them it doesn't really work yeah no i i like it i would i tried holding a really strong balloon

on one side to like kind of have me put lift one side off the ground but like the top doesn't spin on the side that it has to be pointing straight down and do you well i'm getting the formula right i either am floating away right and then i need haze to catch me and pull me back down yeah or or i'm just not lifted but what were you gonna ask me oh yeah so is it a corset are you gonna sell what what um what makes this new desirable shape? Is it like training, like corset training in the shape of a triangle?

Or is it surgical? Or is it purely just workouts? Or exercise? Diet? Oh, hang on a second. Is there a lot of merch? Let me give away the farm. Yeah, okay.

Let me just... Well, you know... Paywall that. Paywall that. Let me just give away the farm. I mean, the second... Thank you for asking. Have the damn farm.

I know. The first person who does something usually doesn't hit. Because I think it is like a device that he made and is just wearing. I don't think it is. A device. Okay. I think it's something that he pulls on. Please.

Would a device make a loud clang every time I sat down? So, I don't know if you heard that when he first sat down like it's it clangs it rattles like little there's like little nuts and bolts like falling out of his pant calves yeah because my belt is is is is is is uh um uh uh busted so you know it's not like so i think he was trying and also trying because he said that he was doing this whole regimen to get the big bulbous bottom but i think he was trying to just make a shortcut on that and just make something make a device so often right when someone has a huge scientific breakthrough, it is a byproduct of what they were trying to do.

That's true. They're trying to make whatever it is. I read that Taylor Lorenz book about Extremely Online, about all the websites and everything, social media. They were all trying to do something other than the thing they ended up servicing. Were they all? Yeah, they were all. That was Taylor Lautner.

Taylor Lautner. I don't want to. No, that was his book. What's an example? Well, an example is Twitter was meant to just be, it was like little updates of things you were doing during the day it was meant to just be the status update aspect of facebook and then journalists started using it and sharing it anyway though the point is that like you stumble onto the actual market need it

was actually for uh exactly so i was i was on there like it was like what like an early user of it and it was actually to figure out where shack was and to be the first one to touch him physically touch him yes and facebook first was grading girls on their looks yeah remember that part oh yeah absolutely you were you were luckily not i mean that that was mean it was mean to some people it was kind of but fun i mean it is fun to grade i mean really fun i mean i if it wasn't no i mean i would do it a lot it's like to objectify like in either direction to be like oh like this girl's hot or whatever like who's the or be like oh this girl's ugly so i would just do all b's kevin puts a solid they can everyone gets it everyone gets a b

you don't want they can have that some of this stuff has been for us you guys can have that the grading girls on their on their looks part like podcast segment i think y'all should cover that just because like i think we've got a lot yeah i don't know we've taken a lot of stuff yeah kissing well now i don't want it anymore i only want the things that you want oh okay very uh competitive jealous is this how it is always it is true i'll tell you what i am competitive if it's time to like order food it's like she just wants to know what I'm gonna order

before she orders because she knows she's just gonna want to eat my food I mean this is this is part of you are a competitive human being

yeah and even this morning you went yeah I didn't want to go to Pilates but you were going I just am competitive

with him yeah you can't you can't let this guy go to Pilates no way and i never would try psychedelics but i'm like i couldn't have let you have an experience that i didn't have i didn't even want to try we had the same thing whenever he wants to go to pilates yes i i find out which way i find out i find out which way he's going it's so stupid i know but i find out like what if he's taking a car that i need to like take a plane or a helicopter

to get so i get to pilates first and right before me right before him and i'll be like stretched out on on both machines so like he can't so now i'm like hiding like when i'm going to pilates or i'm like lying about where i am all the time you have that good machine right by the window with the good yeah and the one next to it yeah he has both machines yeah it's a two machines so i'm straddling at like my i have one foot on each one and like both of the uh hand holding things from each machine and each hand and talk about this. Just ripping. When we go, and then afterwards we'll go to lunch or something,

we're going to order food. Yes. And, of course, he wants to know what I'm going to get. Yes. And what I'll do is I won't tell him. I won't even look at the menu. And then I'll go, I'll say, like, you know, right when the waiter comes, I'll go, hey, hey, hey. And then I'm like, look at him and i'm look at him

with a mean face right and i go watch this and i'm doing and then i'll yeah and then i'll order like just like dishwater like something horrible like just like something that i know that he won't enjoy because i know he's gonna take it and then i i have to eat it i'm so competitive i have to eat it we both eat it yeah we both eat it. I have to eat it. We both eat it. Yeah, we both eat it. No, I have to eat it too. That's what I ordered. You know what I mean?

It'd be humiliating because I'm a people pleaser at the end of the day. You can feel that. It's very hard to manage these, you know, the competitiveness, the long-term suspicion in these relationships.

That's an adorable moment. I picture that in like a Little Rascals episode of just, I hate this dishwater. I'm so young. I picture that in like a little rascals episode of just, I hate this dishwater. I'm so young. I just don't. Every reference I have.

I don't know. I am 82. A cradle robber. Remember when you were convinced I was trying to kill you by- We had this. This happens. Yes. You do yours, but we'll go next.

I was listening to a lot of scary podcasts and she I wasn't intervening while she was using tap water in the neti pot you know to clean and

we're not hippies I tell you seasonal allergies I don't like the Santa Ana ones I don't believe in all this like health foods I mean I

I just not anymore the neti pot's not a health food right it's fine it's not a health food so just don't get the wrong i mean yeah you shouldn't eat it at all but i've been using it for a year or so

and then ben said you know you're never supposed to use tap water because you can it can the bacteria can go into your brain and meanwhile i wasn't using tap water but i just said what why are you saying these orange juice or something are you doing a long a long what's it called like a a long a long game a long game watching me use the unfiltered crossing my fingers going perhaps this is actually the the most common cause and methodology of murder in the united states it's booming standing by quietly could never tell like they could never say someone did that to you that wasn't and it's always it's so hard to prove it's always the spouse who is watching them use the neti pot with tap water as i'm pouring it into their brain it's just like how could you let me do that all these years you don't care

about me i was on a murder trial a jury you know i i got called in for jury duty and the whole trial we were just watching like nest cam footage of a husband in a living room just watching his wife use the neti pot he's just rubbing his hands together so please you know because she yeah you'd hear the tap running and then so we had a sputtering kind of a similar thing so i really close my my problems go beyond what the neti pot can address uh so i need a different i need to like step it i need to the next level of the neti pot he puts a theragun up there i have it well i have a theragun just as like to warm it up it's like a ther yeah so i i yes i have to theragun my nose first and then i have like well i have a gun just as like to warm it up it's like a there yeah so i i i yes i

have to theragun my nose first and then i have like a attachment that goes at the end of a garden hose and i just nestle that like straight up against my nose so like nothing can escape and like everything is just like flushing straight into my brain so cool you're so cool yes well that tone uh will just about do it for me. You get to rank girls and we'll talk about all the couple stuff. That is another successful episode

of the podcast. Goodbye.