Hollywood Handbook - Ben Rodgers and Brett Morris, Our Masterclass Friends

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

BANG RODGMAN and ENGINEER BRETT return to debut a sneak peak of the new season of Hollywood Masterclass. Check out the Cowboy TV and Zen Den Online merch here!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Because I have to show the horses how to eat hay. Yeah. Like, they won't, they don't know. So many people misunderstand this. They're not born knowing or understanding how hay is eaten. Yeah. If you just put a horse alone with a big pile of hay, we call them piles, you know, on the farm. Yeah. You put them there with a pile. What they'll do is they'll try to, like, just, just like start building a little doll or something the way

they do it is really stupid it's the doll the doll sucks the doll isn't something you'd want to play with yes because it usually gets really wet too because they're using their mouth so much so it's like all gross and sloppy but you know um anyway i'm in there and it's me it's me and bojack horseman because he obviously has a vested interest in this too these are like yeah this is his family right um and we're but he's also like he's actually really depressed which okay wow is that sucks too for me it was very impactful yeah because here it is this cartoon horse and i'm thinking this is gonna be some funny shit right but it is it is funny oh it's funny yes it's funny but then

he has to take funny shit what if a horse had to take like a medicine well and that's right that's what they said and and what would you do if a horse had to take a medicine well you'd try to hide the medicine in the hay yeah after you taught them how to eat it which is what i'm in the process of and i'm putting huge i'm putting big old gloves big ass i'm dropping full bills hanks i'm like i'm balling up like a fucking monster thing hey like a big tumbleweed you know and i'm just tromping on it just and it's fucking me up i'm choking i'm in pain i'm hurting and the horses have left sure at this point it becomes taking for me it becomes like a personal, like, if I don't do this, I ain't shit. Like, I'm actually, my internal voice has become scolding.

No, I don't care about them. I don't really care about BoJack. He's fucked up. He's drunk, which again, I'm like, what? He's got to work on himself first. And I don't really know what, like, before what, like, first before what, I'm like, what? He's got to work on himself first. And I don't really know what, like before what, like first before what, I'm not sure, but I know he has to work on himself first.

Yeah, he better. He better. I can't work on him. I actually need to be hospitalized from the hey situation that I have. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names and the Red Carpet Land Back College of at the industry we call showbiz. It's a what up, what up situation.

We have some of the big boys. Bing and Brett are back on the show. I'm excited to see them again in kind of a new context. I think this could be really a fun kind of different episode i have been hearing it will be yeah thanks for having us on i'm pretty pumped uh to to to take the cover off this baby kick the tires and um you know see how she she flies and i was about to kind of like i just sort of default to like being the host and say like here's like what's happening but i actually want you all to say kind of what it's sort of a big

announcement like what uh what's what the listeners have uh in in store well we have brett dude we have the you know uh the inimitable brett dude we have uh dr bang raj man and we are finally after a lot of build-up going to be uh or have actually just started just recorded the first episode of our new season of master class and everyone has been waiting and we're doing it and we thought well what better place to announce it and uh maybe if people are down maybe even give a little taste and it's fun it's fun to go back to that world it has been and and you know the characters have you all have funny chemistry and and play off each other really well. We're finding new stuff, but we're also doing a lot of the old stuff that frankly just worked.

The show is popular, but it's not like... I love the show. It's like the podcast for podcasters. Yes, exactly. just in case anyone like doesn't know what it is because i think i think you know the show is popular but like i think some it's possible that some listeners might not be aware of it so if there's just a way to like describe it for them or so we did so um uh bang brett and i have done two seasons already you know over the course of a few years of this show called hollywood master class where i'm the teacher and bang is the

unruly student and brett is sort of the producer slash sidekick uh slash sometimes the teacher as well and bang is the teacher sometimes too. And Bang is the teacher sometimes too. And I can be the student sometimes. And occasionally Brett becomes the student too. Brett, your mic, I don't know if this is like something for the show specifically, but your mic is very absorbent today.

If that makes sense. It's just like, I'm just hearing everything. I'm hearing every little like nose exhale. I'm just getting it all.'m just hearing everything i'm hearing every little like nose exhale i'm just getting it all is there anything weak like just with your mic specifically is there anything we can do so it's just uh when you talk just the talking yeah um yeah i wasn't i thought i was just visiting as a guest like i'm not what you thought of me before. You are.

And I didn't sort of Mike guy. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't say anything about you not being a guest or anything like that. It's just me being able to hear your nose that I'm, uh, is not like a gas. Is it not?

And if you don't want to adjust the mic, it's maybe adjusting your nose. Yes. I don't want your nose to be the guest. I want you to be the guest. Does that, is that clear you really guessed through your mouth on most podcasts which is not something that's discussed you know and and you not having been on this side of it brett you may not realize and you're kind of stepping on me a little bit because like being a guest with my nose was my thing yeah bang would be i guess

the exception and you often bang this is like a thing where he shows up at a party and he's like here i am and i brought my friend my nose it's like a certain type of party it's a yes it's a we won't go into it but it's just fun energy. Yeah. And it's kind of my thing. And you're stepping on it a little bit. I mean, but whatever. There's not much I can do about my nose. I mean, it's just kind of on my face right near my mouth. That's just like an evolutionary kind of problem.

Maybe turn around. That would be great. Yeah. So when you're not speaking. If it's your face that's the problem yeah yeah all right um yeah i mean you'll listen to the back of my head which sounds even worse there's like there's kind of weird stuff going that was me that was i love that's funny that was great i mean that seemed harsh to me i mean my nose has like a melody to it like a little well maybe and

brett yes brett just he you're more musical than me i'll coming out of his hat but yes i was holding that back i just wanted you kind of kind of... I'm sorry for stepping on your nose thing, but I was building to that nose. That was your big nose thing you had to debut. Well, look, we have two nose-based guests that are recurring guests. We have Bang Raj Man already, and we do have Adam Pally.

So in my mind it's not it's it's it's not something that we can afford to do three times yeah that that yeah that driveway has been plowed if that makes sense yeah yeah the snow's been plowed that makes sense yeah there's not you know after these guys go through there's not a whole lot left to go around so uh so and but maybe these are settings like if you you were saying you just got out of hey are we gonna do the show are we gonna plug the show or what well i was just doing like what all right i was I was. I mean, that was my. I thought that's why we were here. We're fucking talking about Brett's nose.

You just got. Well, OK. The next thing I was going to say is you just got out of a record of Hollywood Masterclass. I agree with you, which is a popular show. And it's, you know, loosely based on some of these Masterclass videos that you see where, you know, Tiger Woods will teach you how to pick up chicks or whatever. Louis C.K. teaches you comedy.

They did, yeah. A lot of them have been taken down because it was... The first two acting classes were spacey and hoffman not yeah the timing of some of the teachers hasn't been great but it might have been like people coming to them and saying like hey i would like to make some money really really fast is there any way for for me to do that but um it was like do we make it out to you or and it's like just actually my lawyer can directly get the income so you just got out like a you were saying like one of the best record like just like one of the best i think

creative sessions you've ever again i think we found we're definitely inspired by the first two seasons and we're staying true to elements of that but i think we found something really cool in this third season that is honors what came before us while still breaking new ground and uh i think as much as you'll recognize elements from the earlier sections we've done yeah you'll be like really really excited about where it's going we're playing the hits and then guess what we made new hits yeah wow we made new hits and we're listening to ourselves we're not necessarily following the bandwagon. You know, it's like we're always searching for new ground, new snow to plow. So this is I mean, this is good.

I fuck Brett. I mean, I just he just I just want to he just moved on. Let's just do it. Let's just I I had been worried that this group in particular was getting into, like... Not a rut, but, like, sort of doing the same... It was feeling stale. Yeah, the same territory over and over again

with, like, the specific thing that we don't even have to talk about. This might be... Yeah. I mean, the only comparison over and over again with a specific thing that we don't even have to talk about. This might be. Yeah. I mean, the only comparison might be Dylan going electric. Wow. Yeah. Which, again, some people were angry about, but ultimately proved to create a lot of his best work.

So, yeah, it could be uncomfortable, I think, when you first hear the new stuff but i do also believe that in order for us to grow creatively it's essential and that society will catch up to what we're doing and this is you're talking about dylan sprouse dylan that's right dylan sprouse the longtime uh nature uh survivalist who finally okay i knew so is this a different different dylan sprouts even different than the one i knew yeah okay wow dylan sprouts are we saying dylan sprouts excuse me oh i misheard you when you were talking about i thought you were talking about dylan sprouts the twin brother of cole sprouts from the sweet Suite Life of Zack and Cody where Dylan tried to fix the

refrigerator by himself and he put the wrong two cables together and his hair stood on it. Oh no no I'm referring to Dylan Sprouts. Dylan Sprouts is a survivalist. He lived in the woods and he finally

hooked up some electricity to his place and he's got lights wow so his life is drastically different yeah and people were pissed because they were like this is what you're about you've always been like mr nature and he was just like hey look my food was spoiling like i had to do something and And then years later, they went to his place. It kicked ass. Yep. And it makes me, I mean, years later. Yeah. I feel fucking bulletproof about this thing.

You know, like if people are pissed, like they'll be pissed, but I know, you know, a decade or two, they'll be like coming back to me and asking me about it. Yeah. So do we want to like, and not like play, you know, so do we want to like and not like play you know i don't want to like play the record well no because people are ultimately going to be you know we want that to yeah we yes it's going to spoil it and we want people to hear that as a whole like right you know people are and is there a way we can just like get a flavor of it sort of absolutely okay no i think there's even stuff that is material that would probably be on the cutting room floor um because we have so much good shit because we're in such a groove right now where like

this will be like when you watch a movie and you go into the imdb trivia and it's like the scene from the trailer wasn't actually even in the movie is they had too much they just had too much good stuff wow well do we wanna um like you want to just do it right now kevin is that possible i mean bang if you're down, let's give a little taste because I think it'll be exciting for people. Yeah, it'll be a fun mini episode. Yeah. For the completionist. Great. Okay.

Just whenever. Are you ready, Brett? I'm ready. I have to turn around for this, though. For Masterclass, I have to turn around for this, though. For Masterclass, I have to be facing the mic. Okay. Because you told me to turn around

before. Yeah, I remember. I'm just ready to move on from all that stuff, to be honest. I'm ready to hear this. I'm just ready to do new stuff. If you're good, I'm good. You heard him, fellas fellas should we kick it yep is that a horse out there or am i just getting chilly horsey i couldn't tell the

difference these days i'll say that much boy we did lasso a vermin out on that last little uh ride along on the doggies didn't we there yeah it was a big, fat mouse That mouse was really big and fat And I'll tell you what I'm liable to put him into a little coffee mug And have him treat it like a hot tub Pretend he's in a jacuzzi, that little mouse And that's one of the things that's so neat about small animals Is that you can make

what for them is a big version of something but for us we can hold at the palm of our hands yep and the things that are normal things for us are made of like i don know, instead of a handle, it's a toothpick. Okay, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, the stuff that you can do with a little tiny mouse with just something that you are using. Kind of funny. It's kind of funny. When you're watching cowboy TV, the weird things that creep into the old skull there. No, it really frees up your mind. It's a visual feast, but it's also a mental stimulator that allows my brain to create

all these connections between, say, a coffee mug and a miniature jacuzzi. Mm-hmm. a coffee mug, and a miniature jacuzzi. Mm-hmm. You know, scientists and professors and all sorts of brainiacs are busy creating machines that'll help you think better, give you ideas, fix your brains when... Well, nootropics. I mean, listen to that Joe Rogan

and the way he talks about alpha brain supplements. Yeah, that's a good point. Talking about nootropics and alpha brains and special mushrooms. Oh, chaga mushrooms and lion's mane as well. And I'll tell you, those things, we don't need none of those. We just need a roaring fire, a.k.a. their cowboy TV. That cowboy that's right cowboy tv is us watching a fire okay okay okay okay what's up oh it feels good to be back yeah right back in the master class class i did i i wanted to give it a second just to make absolutely sure but this is this is cowboy tv it's the exact what the fuck are you talking about you said it was cowboy tv multiple times

in the well the characters are watching cowboy tv yeah absolutely that's part of the class in this case because they are talking about expanding their brain which is what a teacher is supposed to do for you i mean effectively i said sometimes i'm the student sometimes bangs the student and now sometimes the cowboy tv is the teacher i think sean said that exactly in the intro yeah it was the best episode of Cowboy TV that I have heard there was a lot of new stuff there was the fire stuff of course

but there was the stuff about like small animals the talk about like Joe Rogan and nootropics and things like that that was all like new I really appreciate that if it had been introduced to me as an episode of cowboy tv i think that would have been something like that there would have been some pleasant surprises in there but it was introduced as something totally new something different well no not totally new it's the third season of an existing sure yes but like certainly new from like a new take on it yes what. What the three of you have done on this show,

I was sort of hoping to put something new on this show. I don't mind not being involved in Masterclass. That's okay. Where did that come from? You were on one episode. Where the fuck did that come from? Yeah. I said I don't mind.

That is okay with me. But I was hoping that when the three of you get on this show, the product is always the same. It's always some... I'm not even sure what you call it. You call it a show, but it's always just like a few minutes of you talking like two cowboys who are looking at a fire

and the fire is being compared to TV, which again fell out of this episode for the most part. It's a series. If we can back up, I mean, you are involved in Masterclass, Hayes. You were on one episode. I frankly don't even think it was our worst one.

It's pretty good. Thank you. This is not... I also thought it was good. Pretty good. It's not our worst. Here's my question. Can I just ask my question? Is all of Hollywood Masterclass this?

Is it all Cowboy TV? Well, there's two seasons already. Sure. Sorry. Is all the... Look. Listen, I think you have a problem with this one. I've heard i know the show like listen i've heard some of that i haven't heard all of them it's mostly not cowboy tv that i've heard in the past

but is it now this sean do you get the impression he's like this is somebody who's mad at your jacket and they're like hey i really like your hat that i used to talk shit about but like maybe now this jacket's problem where it's like okay you've been fucking dragging cowboy tv through the mud from day one and now we come to you with a new master class and you're like no fuck this now so i just want to return to my question which is is this master class because i and i've answered that question i'll answer it again two different things and i and i let you ask your question okay and now you'll let me answer it and now you'll let me get my whole answer out there are two existing season of masterclass

that are not this we are not finished recording the third season of masterclass so i don't know how you could think that it is all this but so far we don't even know what it all is but so far for the third season is is this that's like primarily yes been this with uh other you know with other elements as well okay so this thing i mean i think sometimes there's a harmonica yeah i think i mean i don't know if it's just me and i'm coming in with too much energy today and but i think like heads are kind of fucking steaming right now and maybe we should cool off get back into master class we can give you a little bit more maybe explore it more okay maybe give you a better sense of the dynamics of the characters.

It's still not that classic. It is really different from Cowboy TV as well, which I know you have your issues with. I'm not trying to convince you that that works. But I think by your own admission, Masterclass is a popular show. This doesn't feel like Masterclass to me so far, what I heard. And so if you have more and it is closer to this doesn't sound like you know dylan sprouse to me some people some people said so i don't know

maybe this time when you listen it was crack a notebook or something take some notes like i feel like you're missing the i did i i said a lot of specific things that I heard in the first section, so I obviously was listening. And I will be listening again to this one. It might be a case of missing the forest for the trees a little bit. You mentioned some specific things that were brought up, but it's not always about that. There's a larger story happening here that I think you can appreciate.

If you'd like to do more, I would love to hear it. Is it going to be just so I can prepare myself? Is it going to be to two cowboys? It's a little like jazz. The like our process. So it is. It's going to be two. I'm just about to hear two cowboys talking to each other.

That would really help for me. Just like to set my expectations going into this. Is that pretty much what I'm about to hear? I hear your question. Just go. Let's just hear it. Let's just hear it. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Ooh, boy, that argument we just had with their old tenderfoot really took a big bite out of my hide. Got me feeling tired enough to lay down, stretch out, and take a snoozer next to this here cowboy TV, a.k.a. the fire. Oh, yeah, I find myself sweating. I got so dang heating. I'll tell you something else. Doubling back to the conversation we did have about that little mouse being in a coffee mug, which serves as something of a jacuzzi for

boy i know exactly what coffee mug i'd use for that it'd be the cowboy tv coffee mug now available at t public oh you mean like one of these here mugs i'm drinking of right this here moment? Absolutely there, partner. And thank you for asking, boy. You got me fixing the caterwaul away about the old cowboy TV coffee mug. A coffee mug. Jacuzzi for little mouse. Okay. So you sounded like you stopped.

That was the first verse was over. We stopped for applause. We've built like applause breaks into the season. Yeah, people will be laughing when they listen. For people who listen. The audience, that's who applauds. I mean, you've been in the industry too long where you're a little bit,

there's walls around your heart at this point and you can't embrace it. But if you were just a normal, regular Joe, you'd be clapping right now. I do want to talk about some of the the business involved in what like led us to this so sean and i have gone independent we have our own like we're the subscriber base we're on patreon you came to me sean and said that you wanted to do master class again uh this was you know something like an exciting thing that we

could offer listeners uh i essentially made an investment in this brett and ben have equity in the show in our whole network to do master class i have yet to break even on this whole project kevin is doing great i have i i still am still coming up still coming up a little bit short as am i as am i sure but you said that like that it's masterclass people sign up for and you have other business streams that will like allow the uh masterclass to like pay for itself in multiple ways and then i did see i saw the merch went up on t public i thought that was a totally separate thing i thought this was just us like getting cowboy tv out of our system before we started masterclass but now I'm a little worried that the Cowboy TV merchandise is what you were talking about.

An avenue through which to make myself whole with Masterclass? Yeah. Well, me too, I assume. I don't get anything of the Cowboy TV merchandise. Well, you certainly haven't been very supportive of it. It's not, you know. So that's just for you

the equity does you don't like it's not coming it's not coming to me by choice to do it okay i because of you know my buddhist background i don't want to profit off any of this stuff so any of it no so i'm like just leaving it in sean's hands and i'm more here for the art the the spiritual fulfillment and um that's that's a hell of enough payment for me well unfortunately the american west is disappearing before our eyes and a lot of the profits from cowboy tv are you're giving it you know to the american attributed to preservation efforts yeah okay for the you know the simple beautiful way of life that cowboys represent okay i did just to like show support i did thank you kevin yeah it's really sweet that's the kevin oh so i

actually do want i would love to talk to you about this because kevin has been handling the merchandise. That's what she said. Sorry. I don't know. Jesus Christ. Do you have the... Thank you. Okay. Is that how it works? That's great.

Now I see how it works. Thank you. I don't know why you didn't do that when you were doing the actual show. Because people will really be doing it in real life. Yeah, we don't need a fucking robot to do it. All right. Hollywood Handbook.

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ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now kevin you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long. How many add-ons and what are some of them? It's one big add-on and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal.

The promise is the meal makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. I know. Give you a ton of energy. They have like

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The subscriptions are insidious. They're the scourge of our modern life. And you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. I know that I was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie, 27 dresses before I found out how much it was costing that they intended to send me, much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french

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Yes. Yes. Okay. Great. So I have a mug and a phone case. I haven't bought any of the clothes yet. I have a mug and a phone case. I haven't bought any of the clothes yet.

The mug, the logo is printed on a side of the mug that is difficult to really impossible to read when you are drinking from the mug. It's on the opposite side of the handle. And we asked them for that specifically yes okay because um have you ever heard this uh story hayes about um a young ceo giving a presentation and he does it from the back of the room so everybody's got to turn around i love when he tells this story and nobody forgot that speech because everybody's got to turn around and check in. Nobody can zone out. Everybody's like, who's this guy that's talking from the back of the room?

So when you're drinking your coffee, you're like, what the fuck is this mug all day long? And you've got to keep turning it inwards towards yourself to be like, oh, okay, I want my cowboy TV. And that really hammers at home. we're helping the american west you know so many mugs it's so funny like so many mugs have this completely outdated way of thinking that the person enjoying the drink or even the person sitting across from them should be the one who can read the mug and see the graphic and understand what the you know what the mug is about or what this person is a fan of

where in fact really especially now in 2021 the person who needs to know what's on the coffee mug is a person sitting to your left and a little bit in front of you like and that's been the case now for a while so the and the fact that i can like you know put my hand through the handle and punch someone with the cowboy tv logo and say here's what's good you know where are my coffee's coming from that's powerful. That's the definition of power. I also do want to show this, the phone case. Well, and this is very good, too, because as you can see, Sean is holding up the phone case. A portion of the logo is actually cut off.

Yes. of the logo is actually cut off. Yes. A portion of the logo is cut off now and then there's a solid three inches of empty black void underneath the portion that's cut off. It could have been used.

The normal business probably would have lowered it a little bit to get the full logo on there. But this void, which represents our disappearing American West, would be absent then. It would be full of logo. to get the full logo on there right but this void which represents our disappearing american west is would be absent then it would be full of logo and kevin pointed out something because i did have the same you know i i said like look can we can we he said like well you know why why would you do that and i think he said why the fuck would you do that he did a little tour that day and i said look if

anyone if anyone asks we'll just tell them the problem is actually the hole. The problem, it's being cut off by the camera hole. And maybe we shouldn't be having all these cameras and screens and all this. Selfies. Everyone taking their selfies. Right? Maybe it's not about selfies.

Maybe it's about cowboy TVs. Okay. I don't think people mostly take selfies with the other camera. And we're looking into covering that up. And we're looking into covering that up. Or having that cut off the logo. We're trying to do both. You know, in Jaws, they didn't show the shark.

Right. You know, and that people saw it in their heads. It's scarier. They did. They did show it they never showed the shark yes not in the movie there's no sharks okay all right now that's what you remember it's in the poster i'll give you that but like yes it's brett's right you think you saw it it's one of those things what they call the mandela effect yeah where everyone thinks they

saw the shark and jaws the mind actually it'sella effect. It's a Mindella effect. Inside the mind of Della effect. It's Mindelia effect. So it's in the mind of Chris D'Elia who actually has a master class coming out soon, I believe. Yeah, it's about

I think DMs and TikTok and shit. Snapchat. it's called carpe diem and and it's actually yeah it's a really cool like social media class that everyone could benefit recommend signing up asap because i don't know how long that one's going to be a lot of these things are yeah they're coming down i think they fill up or something because when i go to sign up some of the ones that have been there are not there anymore so yeah so we're looking into like getting a screen cover that would that would have the logo cut off by the selfie cam as well and definitely you know when

when i am drinking from my mug when i'm having like a cup of hot tea or something or when i'm just making a mouse jacuzzi like i i don't i i don't want to have to like see the logo of the thing i bought the whole can i ask what i just i i don't want to forget this question that keeps coming up for me you you have talked about the money going for the preservation of the american west yes thank you first of all i i don't i didn't know that thank you so the american west was disappearing american west is very fast okay i i'm curious if cowboys are probably the most endangered species on the planet okay so i i bought the i bought the merchandise i i i never really got a sense and it says that when you're buying that's where it's going but i never really got the sense of like where the money is actually going to preserve the like if there's like a specific

thing that is like woodward bernstein over here i right i'm well i'm i'm curious i'm interested you brought it up and i'm like interested in like this phenomenon if it's really happening i would just love to know and bernstein where the money was uh was actually going follow the money american westgate i'll tell i mean deep throat honestly we're still we're still finding the most effective organizations we're doing our due diligence but what i'll tell you is the american bison has way less room to roam than it used to and we're going to correct that okay and again i i would like if you if you know already i mean it sounds like you do like like how exactly the money from this merchandise is going to go to giving the

american bison more room to to roam hey it's like what i mean not to i've not actually back into my cowboy tv character but what in thunderation are you talking about i i am like is this a comedy podcast that dog won't hunt like are we gonna get into fucking division and long math on the on your comedy show i it's not a math question at all i i was genuinely curious it seems to be something that you all are interested in i thought i was showing interest by just like asking more about like how this works i'm not like well it's i'm not trying to challenge you i wish i could believe that your motivation was just to educate yourself and show some interest and like have a nice conversation with us unfortunately what you have done is attempted to hamstring both Masterclass and Cowboy TV

at literally every turn. I just want to say that it sounds like these are the same thing. Well, everything is actually connected. If you watch the Beatles movie, Yellow Submarine, they will teach you that we are all connected to one another and that when you talk, just by being here and listening to you, I am now actually part of your body. And, and Sean,

you're kind of doing a masterclass right now. It sounds like you're giving Hayes homework. So you watch yellow submarine. You will not say how the money is related to, I guess, grazing territory for the vice i mean i don't even know if it's that specific but like you you are not going to get into that because of my buddhist background i don't even worry about that stuff but you're the root of all suffering

is desire but the money is going to this and it And it seems like you desire the money yourself and you're suffering because of it. Like, that's what I'm feeling. And Ben's telling me some of this Buddhist shit. Just to get it out of the way right now, yes, the Masterclass merch is very similar to this Cowboy TV merch. There's some new merchandise coming out that is yeah sean you want to hold up

that the master class mug yeah this is the master class mug that so that looks like the same mug to me including the logo is is printed on the side this is the master class foam that looks exactly the same but it's new you're doing like a whole new product rollout it looks identical different skew it's higher up on the phone case yeah we actually didn't cut off enough like you could still tell what the words are my my perfect version of this would actually be that you can only see maybe like 10 of the logo and it is is the money for that going to the reservation it's not going to you if that i mean if this is what this conversation is going to be let's just have it not what it was in a very frank direct way the money's not coming to

you no matter how many times you ask us to like name the charity organizations when you didn't even know the american west was disappearing i i pitched one thing that i thought was a a good idea and i don't know if this is like in progress but it's something that it appears you have decided not to use i thought it would be fun to have a product called merch mellows and you sell you say merch mellows on the show or you used to we've said that on cowboy tv yeah okay and so you've so not only did you decide not to use my idea

and sell merch and sell marshmallows as merchandise and call them merch mellows not only did you not do that you have stopped saying merch mellows entirely on correct in in these characters correct well this is master class it's a different show yeah okay but so much else is the same so many other things about it are the same so this is what i like when we set up what the season is going to be. This is why I'm not worried about it because years from now,

Hayes is going to wake up and he's going to be like, I get it. And I'll be happy to come back on the show then and field her questions about our process when it comes together. That's actually kind of cool to think about hayes waking up you know first thing in the morning getting his head all the way out of his ass and saying holy shit i was there on the ground floor like i saw so i've slept the entire season three of master class with my head inside my and this like little like scene you put together I've spent a whole night in bed

sleeping with my head in my ass that's correct it makes sense I mean it's like it covers your ears up and it's dark it's a better explanation I mean it's more favorable explanation than the alternative

for why you aren't able to wrap your head around this and what's that what's the alternative you suck it's that i suck is that what you said you said it really quietly it's a hard thing to say out loud to your friend point blank but like I feel like you might suck you've been kind of rough with notes in the past and every time you've asked now so many times

if bang and Brett can come back on the show I've always said yes and they've immediately come out they've been on like four times in the last like ten weeks yeah usually the pro version yeah no kidding but not this one you're welcome by the way

the new shit on it yeah do you a favor do the fucking pro version I fucking get treated like garbage right okay well you just I was just told that I suck on the show which i have never even said that cowboy tv so and i would never say that you either suck you couldn't or you sleep with your

head up your ass which was to me that's a more favorable option right but you push back against that you tell me what you want to do you like do you want to do another scene? You tell me, and then we're basically done here. I think it would be best, honestly, for the show and for the listeners if we did do a little more master class. Okay. All right. Well, welcome back to Cowboy TV. Yeah, that's what this show is.

Their name of the show is Cowboy TV. I'm here with my buddy, Other Cowboy, and I'm one of the main two cowboys. And what we're doing tonight is the same thing we do every dang night, sitting around that Cowboy TV, a.k.a. the fire, Every dang night sitting around that cowboy TV, a.k.a. the fire, watching them logs pop and crackle and all the little sparks soar off into the air. Boy, it's like taking a whole bottle full of alpha brain nootropics to go look at that fire. Yeah, it's like chugging lines, man.

Seeing them sparks just drift up yonder into the sky and disappear. Maybe go off. Start a little cowboy TV someplace else. Yeah, well, I'm getting a little chilly. I better pull on my I Want My Cowboy TV hooded sweatshirt just to get nice and cozy. Take out my Cowboy TV phone case and go ahead and turn on the flashlight on the phone so I can see where the new fresh dry logs are. You know I don't believe in having no phone, but if I did, I sure as hell would have a Cowboy TV phone case around it. Hell, I'd spring for the damn protective case.

It's a little more expensive, but that don't bother me none when I know my phone is nice and safe inside the lovely, loving shell of a Cowboy TV protective phone case. There, the button thingy cover is so stiff stiff it feels like you're not pressing anything and it's kind of hard to turn the phone off or change the volume on it when you're using that case but it's it's all worthwhile to be yeah and it's merch for this show cowboy tv not to be confused with anything else. Well, if you're confused with something else, you'd have to be very confused because we make it a point to say the name multiple times and to promote the merchandise associated directly

with this show. Whether you're making a tiny jacuzzi for a little mouse with the I Want My Cowboy TV mug, using the protective phone case where the thing is so stiff you can't push the buttons on the sides of the phone or whether you're just putting one of them, I want my cowboy

TV stickers right on the top of your tummy saying, hey everybody I'm tummy TV cowboy man This episode of Cowboy TV is registered trademark cowboy TV production.

All rights are secured by Cowboy TV Industries. Thanks so much for listening. This was Cowboy TV. Lieutenant Jacuzzi. All big old bows. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. This week on the Patreon, the boys make an OnlyFans account. Carl and Hassan

debate food hot takes, and the Flager Ones are talking all things basketball. Check out the podcast five days a week at patreon.com slash theflagerones. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.