Hollywood Handbook - Ben Rodgers, DC Pierson, Dominic Dierkes, Eric Appel, Our Potential LIVE Employees

Episode Date: February 23, 2015

Hayes and Sean are coming to you LIVE from UCB-Sunset in Los Angeles with house band MIKAL CRONIN. The guys chat about their time at the #SNL40 celebration and help audience members make the movie of their dreams. Then, they welcome young actors BEN RODGERS, DC PIERSON, DOMINIC DIERKES, and ERIC APPEL to audition for the new voice of Hollywood Handbook ads sometimes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Small, small, small Here comes Hayes and Sean Oh, whoa Leslie Jones is gonna be Peter Venkman's daughter. Wait. And what's the other? Kate McKinnon is gonna be Winston's daughter because Winston and Peter were such good friends, they switched daughters.

Is that cute? I think that's really cute. It's fine. I mean, it's fine with me. Yeah. Just. Who are you going to be? No, just wig is Egon's daughter.

Yeah, I know. Are we sure about that? Big glasses. Okay, well, you didn't say that. Yeah, big glasses. Okay we sure about that? Okay, well, you didn't say that. Yeah, big glasses. Okay, the big glasses? Yes. I'd watch that.

And that same hair. No, I know who I'm going to be. Yeah. Slimer's dad. Mm-hmm. Pre-Slimer. Yeah. But normal, you, like, had a ghost wife.

Yeah, I fell in love with a ghost. Yeah, and you had Slimer. Yeah, we made a Slimer. Yeah. Hey! Hey! Welcome to Hollywood Live Handbook, an insider's live guide to kicking live butt

and dropping live names in the red carpet live back hallways of this industry we live showbiz. What up live? What up? We're so excited that you all came out today

to Hollywood where movies happens. And I think movies is the best. And don't you agree? We don't talk about it enough. No, I think we sometimes get waylaid by the trials and tribulations

of life on life's terms in this wild city. But I think that if you really want to boil down exactly what we wish we could talk about, it's just movies as being good. Movies as being good.

Movies as being funny and smart. And movies can sometimes be nice movies. And nice. And being nice. And I think that we represent movies in some ways. In being nice. Funny smart.

Funny smart. Cool. Cool. We do things a little differently for a live show. Yeah. No engineer today. Which you can hear In like

See Yes thank you Engineers being bad And we have no engineer today Yes and it feels very free And I don't have anyone Yelling at me If I want to do something crazy

With the mic And just that element of danger What's all Yeah All And I could. You could turn the mic into a lasso. I'm just picturing all the things we could do with a mic,

and I don't want to turn it into a game of which guy's line is it going to be. Yeah. But I could do a microphone unicorn horn. And I don't want to upset the people listening on the podcast. Oh no, I didn't see how funny and no, you didn't. Come to the next show. Yes, come to the next. It's a little incentive

in a way. But so if we need to play music, we need someone instead of engineer to play the music. We have a house band, a live house band today. And he's coming along. We look through our stable.

We have a record label, Gojira Records. Gojira Records, big company. Yes. And we looked through our stable. We found someone really great. Michael Cronin is here

to do the music. Michael, come on out, Michael. Hi, Michael. Hi, Michael. Yeah hi michael yeah that's your music chair hey guys hey mike hey michael and do something to show everyone you're legitimate you're not a joke Oh! Yay! Thank you, thank you. Yeah.

And now, Michael, you have an album, Mick 2, that's out, right? Mick 3. Mick 3's coming out. Mick 3's coming out, but Mick 2 is... Don't act like... Okay. No, I'll do it. Don't act like I said you have an album

out that's called and I said the name of it right and then you say no? I know you said no, but Michael, can I buy Mick 3 right now when I walk out of here? Can he do that? Can I do that? No, not yet. Oh, well then I don't think I should plug it right now when I'm live on stage.

Sorry, I just got nervous., not yet. Oh, well then I don't think I should plug it right now when I'm live on stage. Sorry, I just got nervous, freaked out. Okay. Now tell me about Mic 3. When's that dropping? Cinco de Mayo. Mmm. Oh. I call it Cinco de Drinko.

What do you call it? Me and my funny friends call it that. What do you call it? Cinco de Mayo. You call it that? May 5th. But Mic 2, they can buy now.

They can. Where can they find it? Your local record store. iTunes. Is it on CD Baby? What is CD Baby? Is it on CD Baby? Yeah.

Is Mic 2, is that based off of just it's a better version of McG? Is it on CD Baby? Yeah. Is Mic 2, is that based off of just it's a better version of McG? I didn't think about that. I have a coupon code for CD Baby is why I asked. I think it should work. It is the word CD Baby.

You get 10% off. If I belong to Columbia Record Club, is this one of the records it's offered? I don't think so. I haven't talked to him. Okay. Well, good luck. So we're doing a live show.

You know that. You're here. But I guess we wanted to warm up a little bit this weekend. Yeah, speaking on live shows. Speaking, yes, doing live. Yes. You guys all saw us in the SNL 40. SNL Saturday Night Live 40th.

Which has been an important show for us. We've been important to the show. And it was nice to go back down through all the memories we've had there. Just all the memories of all the times we had almost done something on stage throughout the years. Yeah. And how much they wanted us to, and we would say, no, it's not right,

the show's not there yet. You were great. Oh, shut up. Oh, stop it. When they had Emma Stone come out and do her favorite character, Roseanne, Roseanna Dana, and then you came out and did Eddie Murphy's buckwheat impression, it was really good. Can I say this? It would be nothing without you to do alfalfa, which Mary Gross originated.

Yeah. And then when you brought it to life and I thought, because honestly, I'm out there doing buckwheat and I'm going, I'm not really buckwheat. Yeah. But then to turn and see alfalfa in the flesh. Well, I actually made a mistake on that, which is when my hair went up, I said schwing and people, people laughed, but I actually did think, I forgot, swing, and people laughed, but I actually did think, I forgot

that that was another guy. I don't think anyone noticed. And I also, I wanted to be Silent Bob, but that is actually not from the show. It's completely something else. Are you certain?

That's what I said. I made them get out a computer and look it up, and I was wrong. I would take that bet, yeah. Right? Hmm. Because I was being Jay. Yes.

Through a lot of the show, I'm out there being Jay. Yes. You were snooging up the entire studio. To'm out there being Jack. Yes. You snooging up the entire studio. Snooch to the booch and everything. Yes. I know. Should we do, we want to do something where we help out the guys that are here. I'd love to.

That have shown up today. You guys are in Hollywood, and that means you have movies dreams. Yes. What's, you know, I make podcasts. So what is better for seeing live podcast than for doing the earphones? Yeah. And you have to think, okay, the people is here.

Yes. So for me, as a guy, I would would say let's talk to some of those people and show them what the difference can be yes from being a professional movie guy and being what a lot of you are so you guys all have when you your head hits a pillow at night you start thinking about that one movie that you've always wanted to make the big studio with a paramount and um like just like get to the top and make the big movie put the uh flag on the paramount mountain so what's the what's the name so anyone in the audience of the movie that you, the title of the movie that you dream of making and we're going to help you make that movie? Yes.

Somebody say the name of a movie they've thought of. I can't see because of the lights. There may not be anyone out in the audience. Someone over here. Super Guns. Super Guns. Super Guns. Okay. great this is perfect that's really good so what we'll do is we'll show you what you would do with that movie yeah and then we tell you how we would do that movie yeah and you get a little bit of a sense of what makes a movie successful

yeah super guns first thing lose the title, buddy. That's no good. No. You know, because it's like... Is it super bad? Is it two guns? Is it... Yeah, the answer is no. It's two guns.

Yeah. But for you, what you would probably do is you would call it super guns, and then it probably wouldn't work because, number one, you're probably going to shoot it on your phone or something. Yeah. If you even have one. Or like one of those Game Boy cameras.

And who's going to be in it is going to be like your dad. Yeah. And like you probably want to kiss your neighbor. Yeah, you'd probably try to use it as probably want to kiss your neighbor so you like. Yeah you'd probably try to use it as an opportunity to kiss your neighbor. You like make a scene where you go oh the super gun takes its power over you and makes you want to kiss me and she's going to be like I'm not doing

that. And it would probably be something just so you could show it to your boss and be your boss's friend or something like that. Yeah like oh cool do you want to be in my next one? And he'd be like you're fired. Yeah, he doesn't want to be your friend. No, and so that's what you would do.

What I would do? Yeah. It's called Two Guns. Yeah. It's got Denzel. Yeah. Wahlberg's in it. Yeah. It does a nice piece of business at the box office. And there's probably a little girl that they have to save oh yeah

they're saving the um uh kvon janae wallace isn't she amazing she to me is the epitome of movie star glamour yes if you honestly i worked with her on ann. If you hold up a tennis ball, she'll look right at it. You can wave it around in any direction. You can run as fast as you can, as far as you can go, and she's got eyes right on that tennis ball. Yes, and that's more than I can say for Antonio Banderas. Yeah. The guy can't keep track of a tennis ball.

It's true. So I guess it would be helpful to do one more. Yeah, let's do one more. Does anyone else have a dream movie? Ah, yes. Pleasure Doom. Pleasure Doom? Pleasure Doom.

Okay, that's good. This guy's pretty cool. Ah, shit, man. That's actually pretty fucking cool. I almost don't want to do our version because I think it would be worse. It's kind of not fair because this dude, who may or may not be Skrillex,

Yeah. Yeah. just said Pleasureune to me. And it like made me feel some things I'm not always comfortable feeling in public. His hair is like, can we turn the lights up a little bit again? It's like a pumpkin stem. Yeah. You could grab, it's like a sturdy handle for a pumpkin.

And also I can see from the size of his glasses frames that he's in the brotherhood, if you know what I mean. And for those who don't understand, it means that, well, nerds is kind of cool now, and nerds is taking over. Ah, yes. And I think that a lot of the bullies

and the jocks is actually pumping our gas, and they got fat after high school and nerds rule and now we're making movies and we're athletic and cool and good at sports and we're funny and nice and smart and cool. And I just have one thing to say to all the jocks out there and that's

sorry. And I've got one more thing. Hashtag not sorry. And that's enough with the lights. I don't want to see the people. Yeah, no, no. So I guess the big announcement that we wanted to make tonight. Yeah, yeah.

You probably noticed when you listen to the podcast that we're very fatigued from all the ads we sell and all the ads we have to read. Yeah. And it's just exhausting. And we actually turned down ads for, I think, six or seven months straight and just didn't have any on the podcast because reading them was such a burden yeah our uncle earwolf man jack used to do them um he passed he unfortunately passed he was after a long fight with a turkey bony that's stuck in his neck. And so what we've decided to do is farm out

the ad reading portion of the show and we have four very exciting young actors who have a big opportunity and we're going to be auditioning them to be the new voice of Hollywood handbook ads on Earwolf sometimes.

So let's introduce... Do we have their names written down? Because I think I can do two. I think I can do two. Okay, I hope they're not the same. I really hope that there's no overlap. Okay. And Michael, if you want to play a tune as they come out,

that would be helpful for them to walk in a cool way. And more like... We just did a whole segment. Yeah. You could have been... With no music at all. Some of my zingers, you could have been like... Yeah.

Yeah, is there like a... Is there a better one? Yeah. Okay. Is that the biggest guitar you brought? Okay, so let's bring them out. Let's bring out the guys. I could do D.C. Pearson.

D.C. Pearson. D.C. Pearson, come on out. Yeah. DC Pearson. DC Pearson, come on out. Have a seat. Okay. Bang Raj Man. Bang Raj Man, yes. Bang Raj Man.

Yes. Okay, now this is going to be tough because the other one I know is your assistant. So I know you know him. I don't know him. Okay. Dominic Dierkus. Oh, good.

Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. So you have the last one. Yes, and I know it, so it's going to be easy. Yeah. Eric Bell. the last one. Yes, and I know it, so it's going to be easy. Yeah.

Eric Abel. Sorry? Eric Abel. What's his, what's the name? Eric Abel. Eric Abel! Come out! What is it?

What is it? Eric. Eric. Abel. Eric Abel! Eric Abel, and that is what I said. Yes. Hi, guys.

Guys, I guess maybe just before we get into the actual physical reading of the ads, does anyone want to say how excited they are or grateful? Thank you so much for the opportunity. It's really great. This is really cool. I think being an actor in LA, it's all about opportunities. When you have opportunities, you seize them. You feel blessed. And seizing those

opportunities and having those opportunities, but at the same time, being able to both have an opportunity and seize it, personally, for me, that's what a blessing is. Speak on that. So, sometimes you might have an opportunity, but you might not be able to take advantage of that

opportunity. And sometimes you might take advantage of an opportunity that you don't have. This is where you lost me. And so it will not... It won't... Go back. Okay, go back? Yeah. Okay. So, sometimes you'll have an opportunity. That's like a chance to do something. Okay.

Okay. But you won't take it. Uh-huh. And other times. Why? Am I asleep? Did he go to sleep? Did you go to sleep?

No, I'm just saying when I'm not taking it, like the opportunity's there. Did I fall asleep? You might have. Is this the summer that I sprained my ankle skiing? It could be. That could be a reason that you do that. As an actor, our bodies are... Well, I was laid up.

I mean, you can't put that on me. Well, it speaks to different experiences that we've all had. And I do think that all of our experiences are the same, but they're also universal. And so that's at that point that I feel blessed. Does anyone have a counterpoint to that? Yes. I've always felt that being blessed is having the opportunity,

but then being prepared to take advantage of the opportunity. So it's so important. So important. I actually teach a class on this at Coffee Bean. You teach a class on it? Yeah. Not the tea leaf. I'm only allowed to teach it at Coffee Beans

that are not also the Coffee Bean and tea leaf. The Coffee Bean people into me, the tea leaf people I'm only allowed to teach it at coffee beans that are not also the coffee bean and tea leaf. The coffee bean people into me, the tea leaf people, not so much. No. I didn't know it was separate departments. Neither did I. Otherwise, I would have tread lightly. So how do you pick good ad guy? That's a question we have to look at.

You try them out with practice. So, Hayes, set it up. We sent you each some sides. We should explain what that is. Sides is like the side of a paper. And it's the side with writing. Yes. And it'll say like,

guy, guy, guy says, hello, blah, blah, blah. It'll say, did you read that pilot? Guy, guy, guy. I did. So good. Yes, it's so grounded. Two guys and a guy place.

Yes. Two guys and a guy. Yeah. In a guy place. Yeah. So good. Yes, it's so grounded. Two guys and a guy place. Yes. Two guys and a guy. Yeah. In a guy place. Yeah. So grounded. It's a guy who did My Dad Says. It's his real friends.

I think that's so important. I think when you look at something like Star Wars, it's like that happened. Yes. To George Lucas. It must have. I only like what happened. I hate imagining. Now, one thing you have to deal with as an actor, and these are all young, hot actors

and could explode at any moment. You have to be aware that you're going to have to read sides and do them in front of a whole room full of people like this. This is the network test. Do you think so? So we sent you guys sides for just different products that we may or may not want to advertise on the show. And if you guys

just want to go down the line and just go one by one and just do some of your sides. Just do an ad and we'll do a quick critique and hopefully we walk away from here with our guy and I hope we find our guy. Yeah, I could go. Yeah, okay.

Because I was wondering when, you know. Someone would take the mic and go. Yeah, go. This is Eric talking. Just go right into it? Yes. It's still Eric. He's talking.

If you want to slate your name. Should I slate? Slate your name, yes. Eric Appel. Okay. Would you like to see me without my glasses? Yes, that would be nice. Okay, and that might sound better.

I should leave them off then? Give them to me and we'll sort it out afterwards. Okay. Have you done any commercial work? No, well, I'm mostly a director. I direct commercials, I direct television shows, but I've always wanted to be an actor. I've actually just been directing. I'm waiting a director. I direct commercials. I direct television shows. But I've always wanted to be an actor. I've actually just been directing.

I'm waiting to be discovered. Well, you a lot of times will just sort of shuffle in front of the camera during a take and start behaving as if you're part of the scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And hope that somebody goes like, wait a minute, what were we thinking? This is the show now.

Yeah. Stick with it. Alfred Hitchcock did that for so many years. What's that? Before he got discovered in his own movies. Who did that? Alfred Hitchcock. He would just walk in front of the camera to try to get discovered.

And then finally. I think you're thinking of Hancock. And he did do that. Yeah. That was Hancock. Yeah. Hancock. Hancock.

Because initially that movie was just about, was it Charlize? Yeah. And, but then. A guy flew across the screen. And in a big touch. But he was fucked up. He was

not normal superhero. He was on alcohol. Yes. But anyway. Because he's black, you don't know. They don't say if it has anything to do with that at all. And you're like, this is what we want to do with our

first real black superhero? Okay. He's drunk all the time? Alright. I like, I'm going with it. You say first as if Meteor Man hadn't said this. Right. This isn't a history lesson. It's an audition. And Eric, I'm going to put these back on.

Yeah, that's better for me, too. That's better for me. I think I made a mistake. Okay. You just worked a long, hard day, and you're hankering for a delicious meal that'll fill you up, but won't put a dent in your wallet.

Hungry man, frozen dinners. Over two pounds of food-like product that costs far less than actual food. It's garbage. Now you're probably asking, is it harmful? Is it going to make me sick? Well, if you're asking that,

then you're not a hungry man. Because hungry men don't ask those questions. Don't be a pussy. Don't be a pussy. I have a question before we start. It's Hungry Man, right? Yeah.

You're the guy reading this. Are you hungry? Because you're not making any hungry noises. Oh, okay. It wasn't in the sides. It didn't say, you know, he makes hungry noises. I think it says hungry right at the very beginning of the thing hungry man and that's the character's name as well that is the character's name hungry

man is reading okay yes it's his food oh yeah okay all right i guess and he wants to eat it but can't he can't he has not been you can't figure out how to get the freezer door oh i see i don't he's pushing i don't go on he's pushing on he's pushing on the freezer door open. He's pushing. He's pushing on the door. He's pushing on the freezer door. He's so hungry, he's not thinking straight. Okay, all right, all right, all right. So he's kind of insane. All right.

I don't go on a lot of auditions. Should I ask these kind of questions before I get into it? Yeah, people love questions. Okay, all right. Figure out who the question liker is and take it, see if you can

get them alone, see if you can isolate them. Okay, yeah. Because like, if you're in the room, like, Hayes loves questions.

Yeah. I can't stand them. So what you're gonna want to do is just tell me that you, like, I just saw a fucking fight in the parking lot,

you know? And I run out to check it out or maybe to get a few licks in myself. Right, yeah. Because I feel like, that's like, that's like the parking lot. I run out to check it out or maybe to get a few licks in myself. Because I feel like... That's like the pickup artist. Did you see a guy ride by on a horse

just now or something like that? Maybe I can get a couple rides in myself. And if you maybe touch his hair. Oh yeah, establish Kino. But when I get out of the room to go look for the horse fight, either one of those two, then you can ask Hayes a couple questions safely.

Yeah. What's to say that he's not going to also go out and see the... Oh, well, he's allergic to horses. I do not want to see a horse. I do not want to see a horse. So figure out the one that... Which one likes questions and which one is not allergic to horses. I do not want to see a horse. I do not want to see a horse. So figure out the one that... Which one likes questions and which one is not. This is a great lesson.

So every audition room is made up of a few different types. You're going to have the question liker and you're going to have the horse enthusiast. And that's universal. That's for movies, TV, commercials, podcast ads. So you want to be able to identify those types and use that knowledge to your advantage. Let's hear another ad. Yeah, does anyone else have an ad they'd like to read?

Sure, yeah, I can go. Okay, and this is a big opportunity for you. Dominic is an assistant of mine, and he's had his name put on a couple scripts with me as sort of a bone for all the great work he does with my calendar and all that. I think of it as like an apprenticeship. Yeah, you do. But I think he's been begging me, can I get some opportunities on the mic or in front of the camera? And always I say no.

But now what I've said is, well, why don't you put yourself against some real actors and see why I say no. Yes. And so this is a big opportunity to really find out, hey, how come I'm not like these guys? No, no, I'm guaranteed to fail, but I'll learn something. All right, do you want to just launch into it?

Sure, sure, yeah, I'll just launch into it. Okay. Hey, if you're anything like me, you hate brushing your teeth. You don't know how long you should keep the toothbrush before disposing it, and you don't even know how much toothpaste to put on there. That's why I joined Uncle Toothy's Brush Club.

For $5 a month, less than a Netflix subscription, I can have seven new toothbrushes delivered to my door every week. And after using them, each comes with its own dollop of toothpaste. And then after using them, I can dispose of it in the very box it came in

to be picked up by Uncle Toothy himself. And each disposed of toothbrush helps build a school in Africa. So just remember, like Uncle Toothy says, a brush a day keeps the dentist away. And that's

the end. That, Michael, that was a clear out that he, just the last, you know, and remember, that's like the end,

you know, because he, okay. That was not the ad that we sent you, John. No, no, it wasn't. No, that wasn't the ad

The ad we sent you was for stamps.com. Yeah, it was stamps.com. It was a very popular podcast advertiser and someone who offered to... Is this something you have invented independently? Are you Uncle Toothy?

Am I Uncle Toothy? Well, I'd love to be. I mean, it's a way to... What's stopping you? What's that? A customer base, for one. Two, a really reliable way to assemble toothbrushes

into a school building. And, I mean... And those are my big obstacles that I'm dealing with right now. And this seemed like an opportunity, because like you said, it's an opportunity for me to learn a lot about...

This is a pitch? Yeah, yeah. If there's any... I know there's a lot of Hollywood movers and shakers listening to your... I'm out. What's that?

I'm out. Okay, well, you don't have DC. Now, I've noticed... Sometimes when you print out... I make you print out directions for me and tape them up in a series across my dashboard. That sometimes in the corner of those pieces of paper, there will be a little sort of...

He looks like a sergeant major with a toothbrush. Yeah, that's right. Is that Uncle Toothy? That is Uncle Toothy, and I'm sorry that's on your map quest. I didn't mean to... Yeah, so you've been trying to sort of subliminally suggest... Uncle Toothy, I've been trying to... Uncle Toothy, he's going to guide you where you need to go.

Yes, and Uncle Toothy, just so everyone knows, is not a dentist. There's been some confusion about that. Can I ask, why is he dressed as a sergeant if he's an uncle? Doesn't it imply that he should be like Sergeant Toothy or Captain Toothy? Why is he dressed like that? His military service has nothing to do with his

outlook on teeth and cleanliness. But his status as an uncle does. He was interested in starting Uncle Toothy's Brush Club, and then he got called into service. Oh, wow. He was drafted. He was drafted. And so he served, and he's proud of his service, but... I'm out. You're out.

God. All right. And he's not a dentist? What's that? He is not a dentist. I could get in big trouble for saying... He says I'm a dentist a lot. What's that? He says I a dentist. I could get in big trouble for saying... He says I'm a dentist a lot. What's that?

He says I'm a dentist all the time. And he says don't believe what anyone tells you. A thought bubble and a speech bubble both saying I'm a dentist. Well, the intention there... Lest you think that he's thinking something else than what he's saying. Yes, if he's telling a lie, his thought bubble should be very disparate from his speech bubble he's not but he's such a good liar I guess the way I always saw that is he's only we can see your he's thinking like he's thinking like I'm a dentist and then out

loud he's saying I'm a dentist like he's questioning it because it popped into his head he's like it's not true There's no question mark. In fact, there's six or seven exclamation points. So that's confusing. He's just stunned by his own thought. He's like, I'm a dentist. I'm out of line, you know? You could learn a lot from that. Okay, he knows.

What's that? I think you could learn a lot from that. That's sort of the same process. This is the process I go through acting. Oh, wow. I take it and I take it in and then I use it in my performance. Well, it sounds like you want to go, don't you, mister? Yeah.

I also, you guys sent me my script and there were some parts that weren't mine, but I thought I could show my range and do those as well. And half of it, I believe, is a song. Michael, are we right about that? The part that you were not supposed to do is a song, but if you want to do that, that's fine. Okay, great. So it's half

dialogue, half song. So I guess go into the commercial and then at some point just launch into that song and then back to commercial. Okay. This is, yeah, Ben Rogers. Go ahead. You want to use Mail Orangutan, the fastest free way to get in touch with all your contacts? Let's talk to some real people on the street.

Ooh, I love using Mail Orangutan. Hey, what's up man? What's up man? It's me, just a guy on the street. I love using male orangutan. Oh, hello. I have orange, orange man. I use a team male orangutan. Yep, everybody's using male orangutan. Everybody's using male orangutan. So check out male orangutan, the fastest free way to get in touch with all your contacts. I use male orangutan. Wow. Can I just say something real quick?

Backstage, Ben told me that that last voice is Hitler. Yeah, that... Did you tell him that? I told him that. We were just having fun backstage. And, you know, I was trying to own the green room a little bit, and I thought I'd throw that out and see how he

ran with it. But he did good. I would love you to speak on owning the green room. Is that... Oh, yes, actually, yes. Could you speak on that? Owning the green room? What does that mean to you? To me, it's just kind of setting up a pecking order back there. I mean, yeah, we're up here all laughing, being friends,

but we're all out for this job. I mean, let's not kid anybody. We all want this job badly. I know I do. I wanted to just say I would not want to be in DC's chair right now. Yeah, yeah. That's my note as well. Because we had two duds and a stud so far.

And I hope that's okay to say. Feels a little bad, but... I had the same note. And there's usually only one stud, if that. And if that really was Hitler at the end, what a great subversive take for a podcast like ours. To say, not only is he alive,

not only is he happy and healthy, but that he's on email and he's using a great service. You know they're saying if you look around the room and you see two duds, and this dud is right next to you.

You're the other dud. So you guys sent me the sides. Yeah. And I actually, I didn't have time to get off book. So I'm just going to read it off my phone. If that's cool. Wow.

You're going to read it? Well, I feel like, like you watch like a celebrity on an award show, and sometimes a Drake or a Jay-Z or somebody will read their acceptance speech off their phone. That's so people can see the phone so they know what's a good phone to buy. Well, then, can I say what kind of phone it is for the listeners? Is it an ad for the phone? It could be.

Okay. It's an iPhone 5S. It's an ad for... Okay, you got my attention. The last generation of iPhones. Oh, you mean is the ad I'm going to read an ad? Is that for a phone? No, it's for the thing that you guys sent me.

So you know it's not for a phone. Yeah, but I was expecting you to say no. Oh, the correct answer. You said it could be. Yeah, no, it's not. Okay. Michael Yeah, but I was expecting you to say no. Oh, the correct answer. And you said it could be. Yeah, no, it's not. Okay. Michael, could I request something that's kind of like Tumblr meets Warby Parker? Does that make sense? Yeah.

Okay, awesome, cool. Here we go. A lot of subscription services that advertise on podcasts will send you a crate of cool curated stuff every month. But it's not back to the future posters and tauntaun socks that make a house feel like a home. It's those little things where you're like, why do I still have this? But you won't throw them away because there's a vague feeling that you'll need them someday. That's where Junk Crate comes in.

If you don't have this stuff, Junk Crate will send you this stuff. Washers. Chinese takeout mustard packets. USB adapters for old models of iPod you don't own anymore. Oddly shaped metal pieces left over after IKEA furniture installation. Little ripped up pieces of paper with your social security number that you tore off of forms but won't actually throw in the trash as part of some half-baked identity theft prevention scheme. Some 1970s erotica that you found sitting on a chest of drawers someone had left out on the street after it failed to sell at a yard sale.

And you were like, this would be a funny thing to have sitting out on my coffee table. But when you got it home, it was a little moldier than it seemed at first and kind of falling apart. And more. Use offer code, your girlfriend finally saying seriously when was the last time you used this to get 25% off junk crate because the stuff that matters is the stuff that doesn't matter Wow. Well, one thing I like, and I want to start,

and we're going to do a quick compliment sandwich. One thing I like is you did include an offer code, whereas something like Uncle Toothy, even if that was a business, I'm not sure how our podcast is sponsoring it. Like, there's no way for us to receive any kind of money

or anything from it. No way to contact the business at all. Yes. It almost seems like something you would have to request for them to stop bringing to you,

if anything. Yes. So that was definitely good. It almost seems like something you would have to request For them to stop bringing to you If anything Yes, so that was definitely good That's a good note for me Contact info It's so much broader than that But One thing I'm not too stoked on Is

Well you already know this but you had to read it. And to me, you taking out that phone was basically you taking out a shovel, but you're already in a ditch, but you're digging the ditch even deeper. And you're underground and you're going to die there. And I like your beard. I said compliment sandwich. I said compliment sandwich. I promise compliment sandwich. My note's also on the phone. When Carrie Ann Moss,

my girlfriend and I, go out, we have a no phones policy because when you pull out your phone, when you, stop, stop it. When you pull out your phone,

you're bringing another person into the conversation and then it's like is which one is the phone my girlfriend is she supposed to be my girlfriend did you see her i i'm talking to her it's what are you we're at dinner imagine how inappropriate it would be to have eight people on a stage. Right? You know what I mean? Like, when you take out that phone, you're basically saying it would be okay to have eight people on a stage.

There's already not enough mics for everyone. Do you say, is yours a sandwich? What kind of food is your feedback like? Mine's an open-faced sandwich. So I guess that's the middle part. Well, it's the top part, I guess, if it's an open-faced sandwich. Yeah, but secretly underneath is another note. That's bad.

This kind of box product is for nerds, you know, those kind of people. You need to establish nerd cred when you're doing one of these things. Like a points guy. Yes, like the points guy. Do you know this guy?

Yes. He goes around and he's hot and he's in good shape. Right. But he reads comic books. He watches Star Wars movies. He can basically build a computer. You know, I think.

Yes, he builds a computer. But he looks good. You look like you look at him you're like oh that guy like is in good shape so what you have to do when you're trying to sell like he moved that guy moves these boxes like nobody and so we want someone like him like the point nerd cred so you have to say so what if i was doing it and then you just heard the sound of like clanking weights on a weight machine behind me it's like this guy's clearly reading this from the gym he must be a fucking nerd that's who's clanking the weights yeah oh i'm just finishing doing like a rep or like a set of reps now it should be someone else who's putting down the weights to beat you up

oh because i'm the i'm a. Yeah, but they can't because... Because you're also strong. Yes. Right. Like a nerd is. Yes. Okay, great. But you don't even have to work out.

No, it's just your natural body type. Yeah, your natural body, yeah. Okay. Cool. I'll get some Spanx. Did somebody win? No. I guess we still have some questions

for these guys to kind of draw them out. Actor number one, if you could be any animal, what kind of animal... I'm Eric. Okay, actor number one. Actor number one, if you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you be

and how crazy would that be to be an animal? Well, I guess I'd be a grizzly bear. That's pretty tough. Yeah. And how crazy would it be? Yeah. Was I a human first? You tell me.

Okay, well, assuming that I was a human first and I was turned into a grizzly bear, I'd say pretty crazy. Okay, but does your human brain still know that you were a grizzly bear? Do you have a grizzly bear brain too, so you're kind of just like, let me get honey? Do grizzly bears actually eat honey?

No, it's just going to be honey. Well grizzly bears actually eat honey? You're the bear. I still have my human brain, but I can't speak. Wait, did you just pick grizzly bear and you don't know if they eat honey? I think that's not your real animal. I think you're trying to impress us. Grizzly bear, I wonder if it's like, because it reminds me of grizzly,

the chewing tobacco, and I like snooze. I'm strictly a snooze guy. And so immediately, hearing Grizzly makes me think of how much I want snooze more. I guess I'd go for some rooster long cut chewing tobacco, but it's only because I don't have any snooze on hand. Even then, that's not Grizzly. I'm a skull man myself okay well thank you actor number one do you guys feel like it's a conflict of interest to be talking about like

something unhealthy especially for your teeth like like chewing tobacco no no no uncle toothies because they've also bought ads on our show. All of those brains? Oh, yeah. Every brain of chewing tobacco. That's primarily what we are trying to go toward. Yeah, that's what we want. Actor number two. How crazy are animals? What's up with them? Which one of us is actor number two?

No, I want Yeah No I want Dom to answer Oh okay You just weren't looking at me So it seemed Numerically You never gave us

You didn't give us What were we going by Yeah I was going by A different metric We were going by names You know for the first half Okay well do we want to Take a quick five ten minutes

And figure out numbers Should we go by The pecking order From the green room Oh that could be interesting. Well, in that case, Eric shouldn't have read it. It should have been actor number one, from what I've been told. Yeah, I definitely was number one in the

green room, but now it's too late. Now number one is a bad designation and I don't want it. Like a true number one. And in order for me to go, I'd have to go behind some of the people in the green room who were waiting for the next show.

Just because I was, you know, I just didn't get a lot going. Hmm. Who are those guys? I mean, are they around? I don't know if they're still back there. It was nine improv groups. Sounds pretty funny.

Yeah. Nine ten-person improv groups. Sounds pretty funny. Yeah. Nine 10-person improv groups. Do we want to do another way to ask these guys questions? Oh, yeah. There might be a better way. I guess I'm coming up with some pretty big clunkers. What if we... We do a segment on the show called The Popcorn Gallery.

We don't have time to explain what it is. No, we don't. I mean, normally we have a song that explains what it is, but we don't have that track on hand. We don't have time to explain what it is. No, we don't. I mean, normally we have a song that explains what it is, but we don't have that track on hand. We don't have the song either. I wish there was a way for the song to happen without us playing it from any kind of computer or anything. If only we had the fan of the show who sang the original song.

Who initially submitted the song. If only he would stand up and come on stage. What a hero he would be. This is Tim Treece. Hey guys. You drove here from? San Francisco. Yeah. Yeah. Usually. San Francisco yeah usually

I'm sorry I'm just thinking about it it's a long way show's almost over was it was it okay yeah how'd that feel do you have other stuff

you're taking care of while you're here no all right we'll really lean into this song I guess No. All right. We'll really lean into this song, I guess. Yeah, this... Really make a meal out of it. Get the most out of it.

We have Michael here. Michael, you know the song, of course. So he's going to play it for you, and if you just want to launch into it. Do you know it? oh yeah one, two, three the popcorn gallery it's time for it

it's the popcorn gallery it's a segment of what they have for showing and pays let me review as asked to quiz stop talking about the gallery cause it's about movies

yeah the movies is the reason it's about movies, yeah And the movies is the reason it's called the Popcorn Gallery And the show on it pays less to the viewers Doing all the questions, yeah And now it's time for The Popcorn Gallery Oh yeah! Yeah! Yes! Yes.

Thank you, Tim. Bye. Thanks, Tim. And one thing that struck me during the song is this may be the first time that the word viewers was actually the right word to use. Yes. When he says let the viewers ask the questions.

It's almost like he was waiting for this moment. It's like he knew. Wait for us after the show, Tim. We'll give you water or something. Does anyone have? Yes, we have one right here. That's great. You want this water? Do you want this?

Wow. Wow. That's water. That guy That's Dizzy's water. That guy was in the Allstate commercial. Oh, you want to give it back to me? No, yeah, you can have it, dude. No, you keep it. It's not, yeah.

Yeah, you keep it. The prize isn't catching a water. You keep that. And you know what? I'll give him a free Uncle Toothy subscription, too. Okay. Free Uncle Toothy. Just tell me where you live, and I'll...

Don't give him your info. Well, just... Home address is all I need. That's this city, though, you know? You just never know. One day, you're just a total nobody, and the next day, you catch water. And that's Hollywood.

So we want to get some questions for our actors and we want to get them from the popcorn gallery which the song explained pretty well but the viewers asked the questions and it's about movies yeah the movies is the reason and Sean and Hayes

and the viewers doing the questions so does anyone have a question? I have a question. Thank you. All right. Being a nerd and ruling the world and being famous and having important lunches, important breakfasts, important dinners,

how do you guys stay so humble? That's what I want to know. How do you stay humble in such a powerful... Can the question be longer? Now, here's a problem. No one could hear that who was listening to the podcast, and I can't repeat it because it was too long. I pointed my mic out.

Maybe it picked up some of it. That's a heads-up play. Well, should we... I've already sort of forgotten what it is. Do you want to say what you wish the question was and then they'll answer that? I assume it was for DC talking about what it was like to meet Captain America.

It was cool. I was in Captain America, the Winter Soldier, and Captain America actually was on set. I mean, obviously, Chris Evans was there, but they actually had the real guy

that the movie was based on, which was so important. He actually has the most confirmed S.H.I.E.L.D. hits of any Captain America in American history, and so it was just

so cool to meet him. He obviously has his memoir, American Captain America, and they're talking about making it into a movie. God bless. That would be such a blessing. I feel like he's really into taking that opportunity, and it was just about making it into a movie. God bless. That would be such a blessing. I feel like he's really into taking that

opportunity, and it was just really an honor to meet him. Oh. Does that answer your question? Yes. Did that answer your question, sir? He's gone? Okay. He did, like, a, somehow, did, like, an in-person shrug emoji with his actual body.

I think that's called a shrug. It had emoji-like qualities. Does anyone have a question out in the audience? Anyone else? Popcorn Gallery, Opportunity, Big Opportunity,

Big Stars? Yes. So, theoretically speaking, how many movies could you work on at the same time? Okay, great. This is a really good question. This one is great.

So what he wants to know is for people who couldn't hear, he said he wanted to know, Eric, how do you feel about DC's Captain America story? And if you could meet any comic book hero, who would you meet? Wouldn't it be crazy to meet a comic book hero, who would you meet? Wouldn't it be crazy to meet a comic book hero?

I thought DC's Captain America story was... Uh-oh, not a nerd. Is it Captain American or Captain America? Because the comic book is Captain American, right? I was calling it that for a long time.

Yes, because the comic book is Captain American. Because I loved the comic book when I was a kid, Captain America. And an adult. What's that? As an adult, you liked the comic? Yes, I loved it when I was a kid, but I just like it as an adult.

Now, DC Captain American was also on set, though, right? Yes, Captain America, the real Captain America was there, but also the real Captain American that Stan Lee obviously based the comic Captain America on. Did he have the, were his bats there? He said the bats were in the van. No. I didn't see the van.

The van's real? Some crew guys got some pics with it. It was pretty sick. I like this story better than his other one. Okay, well then thanks for asking the question. What do we want? Have time for one more? Sure.

I mean, will you tell me? I don't know what time it is. Okay, great. We got one more. Who's feeling froggy? Go ahead, Joe. Oh, yeah, in the back. Okay, I like where this question is going.

Fucking straight up muscle mostly. Dude. All sleeveless themselves. But here's the thing. That shirt came with sleeves. And they popped off. At the beginning of the show it had sleeves. I heard weights clink down when he lifted his hands.

DC, this guy could be in the commercial with you. What a freaking nerd. That's what it seems like. Go ahead, sir. What's your hat say,'s what it seems like. Go ahead, sir. What's your ad say, sir? Oh, it says Oakland. Alright. Shit. You should get right back with Tim Treese. I'm not from there. I just like the colors

on the house. Wow. It's about authenticity news. You gotta visit. It's about authenticity. Hey, never admit that, man. Now, what's up? If you're playing the game marry, sex, or kill with movies, TVs, and podcasts,

which would you do? This is the best question I've ever heard. This is the best question I've ever heard. In part because of what you call the game. Marry, sex, or kill. He said, if you're playing the game marry, Sex, or Kill with movies, television, and podcasts. He said movies, TVs. So movies, but actual television sets.

Okay, well, that's hard because if I kill TVs and marry movies, I have nothing to watch the movies on. Which you don't. to watch the movies on. Which you don't. No, I don't own a TV, which is so interesting to bring up. Would you guys like that? You don't have a TV?

I don't own a TV, no. Do you watch TV? Well, I do like to see it sometimes, but like most people, it's an event for me, and so I'll go out to a nice restaurant, and I will

set up a big flat screen in the center of the table, and... You bring a flat screen? Yeah, I will have... You want him to use one of those old restaurant TVs? No, no, no. I can't. Well, you don't have a TV. No, I...

Well, there's a store near me called... There's a store near me called Rent Town where you can rent to own and if the O is big so it's sort of like Rent Town Rent Town Rent to own and so what I'm doing there is I'm renting one

when I go to the restaurant and ultimately I guess I could own it if I rented enough but I'm never sticking to the same TV either. Are you guys going to have us read the Rentown spot that you sent us? If you want to. If you have it, yeah, if you have it prepared.

Michael, can you give me the Rentown thing? Okay, great. You have to read this one too? Rentown. Rent to own. Rent to own. To own It's a town Everybody's written Everybody's moving

It's rent town Rent to own Rent town The one improv line Everybody's moving Did you like the ad of that? Everybody's moving Was that good?

I know you can't say improv But you did say make it your own Because it's like a union thing So I added that Oh no you can't say improv, but you did say make it your own because it's like a union thing, so I added that. Yeah, we didn't have to pay a lot more. Oh, no, you can't say improv. It's like the big game. Instead of the Super Bowl,

you can't say improv. Can I say it seemed ominous to me, that ad? It seems like it's just repeating the name of the business a lot, just trying to drill it into your head. There's a strange energy there. I'll say that.

Yeah, it's... Yeah. There's a strange energy there. I'll say that. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, no, I watched movies at restaurants or TV. I don't own one and I also just would never want to have one because if it's too loud, my dad comes down to the basement and he lays a whooping on me. Thank you all for coming to the show. Thank you to Michael Cronin for being our musical guest. His album got a friggin' 8.4

on the Pitchfork Review magazine. Buy it on CD, baby. Okay, thank you to all of our actors. Bang Raj Man. What do you got coming up? Anything you want to plug, Bang Raj Man? Yeah, I'm doing a series of one-act plays. It's sort of a showcase.

I've been working with the coach a lot. Give us the smallest taste. What's the name of each one? A little taste, yes. The titles and then just one line from one of them. The titles and the line from each one? Yes. All right.

This one's called The Man That Came To Town. And this is a line from The Man That Came To Town. Ain't nothing open. That's one of them and that's a little bit deeper

in. I mean, because it's a heavier piece. I start with some of the lighter ones and so i'm gonna start with uh like um uh the christmas that wasn't oh that sounds scary it's not it's actually a really light piece and it's pretty fun and it kind of gets people on board oh and um this is a line from that. Thank God I wore two scarves. I don't know if that sounds if that doesn't sound like to you, picture this. That's a cat talking.

That's a cat. It's Sabrina's cat from the show, right? Well, legally, I can't say yes or no to that, but heavily influenced by that cat. So please come check

that out. It's at the Old Town Playhouse. So come to the Old Town Playhouse. Okay. Yeah, tickets are $45. That's a good price for at minimum two plays at least, yeah. So please, yeah, thank you. DC, what do you have?

Obviously everybody should check out my web series. It's just kind of a slice of life thing. It's about dudes living in LA. It's called, this is ostensibly about what we experience as normal dudes, but it seems like we learned how to be human beings from a beer commercial. Wait a minute. I think I've seen this one. Are you guys puffing a little reefer in this one?

We have sort of been building to that. We've sort of been seeding it throughout, and we finally get to that one this week. That culture is so funny. We like be like doing something okay but doing something and being stoned it's like whoa whoa whoa what we are also people should check out our kickstarter it's funny you mentioned that it's uh for our other web series we're trying to launch called stoned dealer oh no get this weed dealer guess what freaking i don't know baked out of his court okay i would not have guessed that that's a good twist

all right um dominic uh what do i have coming up what's that just in terms of your schedule this week? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lay it on me. Later tonight would be good. This will be good for them. Okay. You have a couple lunch meetings.

You have a lunch on Tuesday and a lunch Wednesday. Ooh. Both in Beverly Hills. Hmm, that's easy. Okay. And then, let's see, you have a meet and greet at Cantor's Deli. And then you're clear through the weekend. Okay, thanks, Dominic.

Eric, you have anything to plug? Yeah, yeah. I actually, well, I'm waiting to see if it gets picked up, but I just directed this prank show pilot called What If There Were Spiders In Here? pilot called What If There Were Spiders In Here? Where celebrities or mostly like reality stars like

bust into real life situations and they're like, what if there were spiders in here? And people are just like, what? So the celebrities just present the hypothetical? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then for like for a second, people think that maybe they said there are spiders in here. And they're confused for a second.

I would think once you've thought about that, you kind of feel them on you afterwards, too. Spiders are creepy. Heebie-jeebies. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, waiting to see if... Who's hosting that? They suck blood. They're monsters.

What's that? Spiders are real-world monsters. Oh, my God. I mean, you don't need to invent a skeleton to be scary. Frankenstein, like, if you just really look, Mother Nature already did the job, made spiders. They wrap you up like a mummy and suck your blood. That's crazy.

Who's hosting the show? Oh, suck your blood? That's crazy. Who's hosting the show? Oh, it's Joey Fatone's friend. Joey Fatone's friend. Joey Fatone's friend? Yeah, yeah, Joey Fatone's friend. Does he, I mean... We tried to get Fatone, and he was like, I don't know what he's doing.

He's like, maybe my buddy will do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dave. I don't know his last name. It sounds like Fatone, I'm pretty sure. Dave is Fatone? I guess the prank's on me. I thought it was like Spitone. Dave Spitone?

Yeah. It's Dave Spitone. Yeah, you know, Fatone runs the... Is it spelled spittoon? Don't say that in front of him. He gets pissed. You know him? Yeah, I know him. You and Fatone hang.

Yeah, well, I know him through Fatone. That actually reminds me. I do have another plug. My ska band, the Fatones, is playing at Jay's bar on Sunset. We do ska covers of just the Joey Fatone parts of songs. Is this the same guys from Scamacazzi Pilots? I'm sorry? Is this the same guys from Scamacazzi Pilots?

They're all dead because that was part of the concept of the band, so no. So you're not the Fatones that sing about Vietnamese soup? No. Although they are pissed at us, and they do have a lot of hot liquid, so people should bring raincoats in case they show up and try to start shit. What's a raincoat going to do? That's a good question. I guess probably just fuse to your body.

So that's a bad idea. Actually, you shouldn't come to the show. I take back the plug. Okay, nobody show up Michael you got anything you want to plug You got appearance tour stuff Yeah just tours starting in April Going through the rest of the year

That's it huh That's it Is that just 8 months It's a quick 8 That's the whole tour? Yeah, that's it. Where are you going? I'll be in L.A.

Oh, boy. Original. Live show in L.A. Wonder where you came up with that. Last day of April, we got a show. So go see that again. Yeah. Anywhere else?

Yeah, just all throughout the U.S. for whoever's listening in Europe We got Europe You act like we don't have Europe listeners Oh, you don't have Europe listeners No, you're acting like we don't You treat me like I don't I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply that

It would be in your interest to plug those shows I'll be in Europe In May Okay good So if people live in Europe They should just try to be outside in May You can go to my website You can go to my website

MichaelCron.com And that's online? It should be yeah And your name Michael is spelled the normal way, right? Actually, it's M-I-K-A-L-C-R-O-N-I-N dot com. Do you want it to be closer to Mike? Like microphone? Like what's going on?

He's shaking his head no. He refuses to engage Okay so did anybody buy the pro version This week Hayes? Yeah somebody must have bought the pro version Maddie I think Bought the pro version Maddie?

Yeah And so as a gift Everybody's gonna You know sing the orangutan male song. Yeah, I think we should get to play us out the orangutan male song and the Popcorn Gallery song would be

great to hear as well at the same time if we could get Tim back up here really fast. Okay. Is it orangutan male or male orangutan? You know, they're said back to back, so you could go with both. Oh, I thought it was M-A-L-E orangutan.

That's correct. Oh. Okay. Okay. Thank you all for coming to the show The popcorn Mailerangatang Mailerangatang Everybody's

Mailerangatang Mailerangatang Mailerangatang Everybody's Mailerangatang Male orangutan, male orangutan Male orangutan, male orangutan Everybody's a male orangutan Male orangutan Male orangutan Buh, buh, buh

The male orangutan from the islands The male orangutan from the islands The male orangutan from the islands Give it up for the Scott-o Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up Pick it up You are my Scott-fire You are my scoff fire. This has been an Earwolf Media Production.

Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com. Earwolf Radiocom. Earwolfradio.com The wolf dead. That was a HeadGum Podcast.