Hollywood Handbook - Bonus: The Flagrant Ones After Dark

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

In celebration of Tri Month, please enjoy this un-paywalled Flagrant Ones episode. You can watch the video recording for free HERE. If you'd like to subscribe for episodes 5 days a week and plenty of video content, go to Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Episode description: The Ones record an episode very late into the night and it results in them getting very flagrant indeed. Plus an After Dark version of "What Did This Man Say?" We looked at some stuff: Top Shot guy discusses NBA players Joe Ingles crashes Donovan Mitchell's interview Anthony Edwards likes an interviewer's accent Shaq calls players "pudding pops" Blake Griffin's prank show And also: An instant classic from the Flagrant FiveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. of this episode as well. And I put the link for that in the description. So you can just click it right there and watch it. I highly recommend doing that if you can. And yeah, we're hoping to release some more paywalled episodes throughout Tri-Month and enjoy them. I will talk to you soon. Goodbye. Hollywood Handbook. We're talking about out of all these

listeners and there are a thousand of them for one of them to write a nice little card handmade card that says heard about the bread and a smiley face and people are acting like

that's too much like they can't they don't have time or something to do that Miley face and people are acting like that's too much. Like they can't, they don't have time or something to do that for us when we're out here getting this bread. We highfalutin about the gluten. It is true, Carl, what you said.

And it's so important to bring this up. We're highfalutin about the gluten. The truth is you are now listening to the flagrant ones and it is 1.34 in the AM on the east coast where the Clem dog has it turned

up. Hood on. Headphones under the hood. Got a little fleecy lining in this here bad boy. And I'm ready to get so so nasty on flagrant ones at this one oh this one damn damn dude damn this is after dark uh-oh you caught me watching the 1974 film the gambler starring jan. I'm a gambler. Freon Prime.

I'm a midnight rambler. I'm a gambler. I'm a scrambler. I'm a Jeffrey Tambor. It's the kind of nasty stuff we talk about. See, it's crazy. it's the kind of nasty stuff we talk about let's see it's crazy it's crazy that uh yeah hayes hayes is at work at a non-profit no wait you don't see where i am where you at oh you're at earwolf we're right in the offices oh yeah belly of the beast i did go back to earwolf uh we're we're working it out i i actually i i feel great about our ability to

make this work we're like sean and everyone else is still independent like that's awesome and like we'll figure out like what my cut should be or whatever while i am still, I'll just be honest. I was never comfortable with this whole plan. Both, like, personally with, like, look at these people. I'm leaving these people. This is my family. That's Dana. I'm petting this dog. What's that dude's name in the hat that looks like the other guy?

Huh? That dude in the hat. What's his name? The dude in the hat? That's his name? The dude in the hat? That's my friend, Samp, I want to say. Samp. And then he looks like Cody. The guy in the back?

Is he back there? I think, I believe that man's name is Prosh. I don't know him. I wasn't in the office like that. I told him to leave my cash in a grocery bag at the door. You said, I'm not coming in. I'm not coming in that damn office. I don't want to see all them damn dogs, all them damn cats.

There's too many dogs. Okay, hang on. And that's Bosh. Is that Bosh in the picture? Bosh was there. Don't want to see the damn dogs. Well, you know, Bch was my favorite dog. But there was another dog.

The lady who worked at the front desk, she had a dog. Tugboat. That's Tugboat. Tugboat would get a little rowdy at times. Okay. Tugboat was mean to you. Bosch ain't never been mean to me. Bosch always kept it G.

Kept it 100. This is Flavor Ones After Dark. It is 1.37 a.m. on the East Coast. It's 10.37 p.m. on the West Coast. It's the latest record we've ever done. We are the horniest we've ever been. I am busting clean out of my shorts legs tonight. and clean out of my shorts legs tonight.

I need to absolutely unfurl myself this episode. And we knew this would happen. We knew this would be our horniest one. We haven't been horny in so long on this show. But now is the time because we're late. I just got off work. I kicked my heels off and I put my briefcase down and I took off that bra.

I took the bra off, let the titties flow and I got this 1,000 stories Zinfandel. This is bourbon barrel age. This is a vintage 2018 pre-pandemic vino straight out of california batch number 71

it's time to get horned up stories on the flagrant ones this is a very horny episode it's also the first i think we have a new tradition on this show which is the first episode of the new month and that means that we have seen some changes in terms of our flagrant ones family specifically uh there are literally hundreds of people that uh i guess claimed to be uh of ours, family of the show that subscribed to the Patreon but then their credit cards lapsed with the new month.

And we just want to take a second to name some of them and tell them please, please never come back. We are so glad that you are gone. To the mind that it takes to be so irresponsible, to take something as just... Yeah, go ahead.

We love our listeners. Our listeners are our family family i would die for them i'm here at 1 40 a.m i took a break from working on the docks where i am bull driving the rusty bulldozer and i'm doing that for my listeners because that's who i care about those are the closest people in my life and so i would never want to speak ill of my listeners. That said, if you let your payment lapse, even for just one day, you are scum. You deserve to be buried at the bottom of the ocean

underneath these docks that I bulldoze all day and all night. It's unusual light for 140 AM. Yeah, it is. Because we have to light the docks up in order to bulldoze them. That's the Aurora Barbaros as well. I'm in the club. I don't know. I'm in the club.

And I had to ask the promoter, hey, is there a room I could go in and record that's quiet? And he's like, well, there's the owner's office. And I was like, does he have a setup for podcasting perhaps? And he was like, podcast? What?

It was a podcast. And I was like, bro, you don't know what a podcast? First of all, you don't know who I am? Okay. Yeah, let's back it up even a little further. Yeah, that's number one. Weirder to not know who you are than a podcast. Podcasts are pretty new.

Carl Tart's been doing this. I've been out here. I've been out here in this game. I've been in the game. Skin in the game, been in the game. Okay? That's number one. Secondly, this vodka cranberry, watered down.

I'll have my bottle of Zinfandel that I brought in myself. You brought a bottle of wine. Bottle of wine to add to the cranberry vodka. Yeah. Uh-oh. Just a splash of white wine in the vodka

cranberry. Getting the call. And guess who it is? My cousin. Oh, my gosh. Wrong show. Wrong show, baby. Do we just go with it? And then finally he was like, well, I guess there's a condenser mic and a mobile preamp and a laptop up there with QuickTime.

Yeah. I mean, he's recording an audio book. Yeah. But he didn't know what a podcast was, and he didn't know who I was. So anyway, we got that done. But it was very embarrassing to have to ask that. So for me to go through all of that, for Sean to go through what he's doing, literally on the docks.

I'm on the docks. Season two of The Wire. He's on the docks. I on the season two of the wire he's on the docks i'm with the stevedores baby and for us to go through this looks cold hey he's trying to get more money from airwolf well not more it's me it's frank sabatka it's trying to get some money it's nikki sabatka and not only that's Zig, one of the worst characters in television. So, Andy, can we name some of the subscribers who, I guess, didn't understand that when you do subscribe to a patron, your body makes a promise? Yeah, I have a list here of 284 people who 284

and i'm checking every single one of your social media vanilla sky on their ass i'm checking every single one of your social medias if any of you have ever trolled anybody anybody i don't care who it is, Donald Trump to Robert Downey Jr., two opposite polar opposite sides of the coin, good versus evil, you trolled anybody in between, and you broke? Oh, I'm going at your head. I'm going at your head, and I'm going down to the net. Hey, Robert, something you should know.

This man is broke. Yeah, so don't take this personally. Mr. President, it's okay. The man who was trolling you, please don't take it personally. This man is broke. Yes. Do not change your policies or anything

on account of him. You do not need... You need pay this person no mind broke okay let's do it andy um i mean most of them are look like they're named matt okay there's matt b there's matt t matt matt please be broke somewhere else. Be gone from here. Never return to the show. If you come back, listen to this. Do an annual subscription.

Annual upfront subscription. There's a 10% discount option. Find out a way to decline that option. You pay the full price and then go. Next. Lackland? Lackland. Lackland.

Lacking in basic respect and manners. I'll tell you what. You're going to be lacking some of your teeth if you ever run into me on the street, buddy. Well, you lucky I'm in the club right now. You're so lucky. I have a... I'm in the club right now, Lachlan. And I don't fight in the club. I only shoot. I have a slight fear, Lachlan.

You know what? Maybe the reason that you let your payment lapse is that you've been having trouble finding gainful employment. So why don't you come down to where i am 24 hours a day and you can get some of this work lachlan your name puts me in mind of the actor lachlan monroe uh who is the star of the movie that is actually what you are which is dead man on campus because you need to go back to school and learn basic economics you can stop

being broke before i kill your ass oh lachlan you remind me of lachlan murdoch but actually it's lachlan murdered and it's what i do to you when i kill your ass please don't make me go full vanilla sky on on you. I do got the background up now. This is Hayes' favorite part of the movie. Who's next, Andy? Jack B. Jack B. Jack B.

Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B.

Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B.

Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B.

Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B.

Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B.

Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Jack B. Shove off of my Patreon. All these broke men. Yes.

It looks to be all men. Men are supposed to be the providers. Yes, all broke men. Carl. You know, in the 90s, Albrecht, man. Carl. You know, in the 90s, they didn't even give men welfare. Get out and get a job. In certain states. Man, my grandma used to say, man, don't work, you don't eat.

And she would tell me that every morning as a young male child and look what you did yeah look at this man I got out working yeah eating recording in the club exactly bread the bread that I eat cuz a man works I guess the B in Jack B sure ain't for bread. Must be for something else. Beating that meat. How'd you stop beating that meat? And start putting some bread on it. Okay, Andy, one more. This next guy is named Maxwell,

and I am seeing that he has an at Harvard email address, at harvard.edu. Okay. What we're seeing here is a case of stolen valor. He probably did it to get onto Facebook. Yeah, this man is so broke that he has stolen Harvard email.

You said his name is Maxwell? More like Max Poorly. Maxwell, more like Minimum Well. Minimum, yeah. Get out of here. Go away. Beat it. Don't let the door of the internet hit you in the ass on the way out don't let the browser close on your fingers

okay that's it andy do we have any um any news this week yeah we got all sorts of sean you look surprised do you want to do more no okay good That's just one of the phases I'm practicing. Okay, this is great. So we talked a little on our stream this month about NBA Top Shot. And I want us to hear this one guy who kind of explains NBA Top Shot a little bit. I found this video. Somebody sent it to me this one guy who kind of explains NBA Top Shot a little bit. I found this video. Somebody sent it to me. I forget who.

And we'll just watch this part of the conversation. He's kind of walking us through how NBA Top Shot works in this YouTube video. Go ahead. I'm going to say go back to 350. I want this to build up a little bit. Let's go to 357. Let's take it back three 350. I want this to build up a little bit. Let's go to 357. Oh, wow. Let's take it back three.

Three seconds. Right there is good. Oh, nice. 356. We can do 356. Okay. That's, yeah. Fandom.

And it's about more than repping your favorite teams and players. For the first time, you can own the NBA's greatest highlights. Ready? And currently, they just have modern stuff. But I'm assuming that if they start putting out Michael Jordan content and shit like that, it could get really crazy. Magical Johnson.

Was that on purpose? I hope that was on purpose. Oh no. I mean, God. Magical Johnson? He can't be for real. I got to say, and I hope he never hears this, but this guy does look and talk kind of like the dude who managed the subway next door to the dry cleaner I worked at who also had a rap album that he had recorded. If it is a bit, it is very dry and it is the only one of this 23 minute video. It's hidden four minutes into a 23 minute video.

I have four minutes to build. I do one joke and it's so subtle and then i i do another 18 minutes of dry content magical johnson magical johnson my god so jealous that is the funniest thing i have ever heard yeah why didn't i ever think of magical johnson it's so good there's my friend walker my friend walker sent that to me magical johnson great magical johnson and i don't think people know about this this is just like a little secret discovery just for us yeah and we won't even tell anyone where it is i'll never be able to find it i hate to ask this haze but you did you used to live in texas right i mean you lived in like houston yeah yeah is walker a ranger walker is a uh certain epic someone who uh

let's just say when he does push-ups he he pushes the world. He pushes the entire world all the way down. Magical Johnson. They got me. Can we hear it one more time? Of course. Yeah. That's good. NBA's greatest highlights.

Ready? And currently they just have modern stuff, but I'm assuming that if they start putting out Michael Jordan content and shit like that, it could get really crazy. Magical Johnson, Collect Epic, and... It's such a weird transition. He sort of looks like he's looking at something. Like he's reading something.

Yeah, it's like he's reading, but he's not. I don't think that's on the site that he's looking at. It's just one moment. Oh, what a beautiful genius. All right. Let's read some more. Can we listen to some more of that? Some more of that video?

Yeah. Do you want to hear more about how Top Shot works? Yeah, I just do not understand it. Okay, let's listen to him talk about it a little more because he does explain it. Let's see. It could get really crazy. One more time. Magical Johnson.

Collect epic NBA moments. I call them cards. You'll call them cards. Magical Johnson. Larry Birdcage. Giannis' slams, Lucas' dimes, Kyrie's crossovers. Every night, an NBA star does something so amazing, you need to watch the highlight on repeat.

That's true. Now, you can make those plays yours, all officially licensed by the NBA and minted on the blockchain in limited supply. And you guys are all aware of serial numbered cards, and we're going to get more into that. Score rare collectibles. Only a scarce number of Top Shot.

So this is just him reading a website. Yeah, all right. But he does describe basically what it is is like they top shot decides like okay this play is going to be minted and like offered up as a collectible and they have like a they use the blockchain to track who owns a play. And so it may look like just... Think Bitcoin. Yeah, I don't get that either. Think Bitcoin.

Magical Johnson, Larry Birdcage, Fat Person Lever, Bobbing for McAdoo's, Jerry Western Omelette. Okay, go ahead. Andy, what else? Oh, we have a song. We should buy... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Sean.

This was promised last week. We were talking about me learning to play colorblind on piano. Well, I'll introduce it in the video. Yeah, you give all the info we need. The Sean song. Hayes asked me to do this. Hey, I'll introduce it in the video. Yeah, you give all the info we need. The Shang song. Hayes asked me to do this. Hey, Flavoritones.

So, you know, we've been talking a little bit last week about how I was starting to learn the song Colorblind by Counting Crows on the piano. And Hayes was like, hey, maybe it'd be fun if you played it on the show next week. And so I was sitting down to do that, and I realized, wait a minute. There really wouldn't be Flavoritones if we didn't make it a little basketball. So I started working on some parody lyrics and I've come up with what I think is a pretty cool song about backup Denver Nugget Center, Isaiah Hartenstein. So, you know, it's not totally finished, but me show you what i got and uh let me know what you think I am Hartenstein

Wow. Not bad, right? That was magical. was magical really nice yeah magical i he weighs 249 so that's a potential second okay we're i mean just something i'm tinkering with but i don't have it have it the uh how like the number of times that i just know how hard you worked on this and the number of times you had to record that entire intro speech yeah because you like mess up or yeah and the fact that the version that i even ended up using i say it wouldn't be flagrant once if it wasn't a little bit basketball. A little basketball.

You know, like, that was the one I used, but it's like, there must have been so many that were so much worse. This is good, Andy. I'm so excited that you found this. Did someone send this to you? joe angles one yeah someone did but yeah i was also on i think reddit had this on here uh i saw it from a few places okay so this is comedy dudes angrier than an a legit funny jock if he makes if he makes me laugh right, as a comedy dude who's never picked up a ball, if he makes me laugh right now, I'm going to be so fucking pissed. Sorry he wasn't funny enough for your lame-ass Herald team. Oh, man.

I worked so hard to get on that Herald team. The most diseased comment in history. Someone check on this fucking commenter okay so this is joe eagles invading david mitchell's post-game interview like bane at the super bowl yes exactly hey like i'm just trying to be the oh boy here comes joe oh boy they were asking about um can you repeat your question again so you can hear it he'll give you a great answer okay um how do you push past the criticism and the stark remarks whether it be from shaquille o'neal or other commentators that believe that you can't get the job done

you don't want me to answer this question. You guys won't be able to report it because it will be in explicit language and you guys will get in trouble. You're done. But, yeah, just basically playing for my teammates, you know, at the end of the day, just playing. Like I said, the only opinions I care about are the guys in the locker room. You can say whatever, but at the end of the day, I'm trying to find ways to improve.

I don't think you're a superstar. That's fair. But no, I think that's really what it is for me, just trying to find ways to improve myself. You know, there's nothing that makes me more upset as a comedian than a funny job. I'll tell you that much. The thing is, I actually think he was funny enough for my lame-ass Herald team. He was just too busy shooting hoops.

He could have done it. He could do what I do, but I can't do what he does. My Herald team was cool as fuck. We weren't lame. And we also had a rule. No Australians. And yes, we are racist about them.

Oh, racist. We are the Ku Klux Klan of Australians. That's when you know you're in trouble is when Joe is saying something nice about you because that actually means that he's being mean. He thinks you need defending, which means that in his eyes, you are

actually a worm. Andy, did you find any Anthony Edwards clip this week? The accent is reminding me of a funny clip of his. No. Anthony Edwards Irish. Anyone see this? Oh, shoot. Yes, i did see that yeah this was really this was really cute if you get a win tonight that would breed confidence going into

those next four games against teams in the similar spots beside you in the table where you from jim ireland i like your accent. It's tough. I want to learn how to talk like that. But, ask your question again. I was too much listening to your accent. No problem, Antac. There you go.

I want to learn how to talk like that. That was nice. Where you from, Jim? I like your accent. That's tough. I want to learn how to talk like that. That's tough. That's cool.

I love it. Anthony Edwards joins the IRA. How about everybody pot pots? It's blown away, but it's starring anthony edwards and okay what else andy uh the all-star three-point contestants have been announced steph curry donovan mitchell jason tatum jaylen brown devin booker zach levine Devin Booker, Zach Levine. Yeah. Who we got? You know what? I'm not this type of guy. Yup.

I probably am this type of guy. I'm sure you are. Say it. I'm definitely this type of guy. Just found a new type of guy. I don't think it's... It's not Carl. I don't think it's fun when Steph is in it.

Interesting. He makes too many. I want to see him battle it out. Because I feel like when he misses, it's not a real miss. Like, that's how good he is at a three-point shoot. But he doesn't win them all. I mean, he only won one. Clay certainly beat his ass.

Yeah, because Clay was actually trying. I feel like Steph was just kind of like, ah. You know what I mean? Right. I was looking back, and the last repeat winner was Jason Capono from our merch store. Oh, we own that. JasonCapono.com? I think we still, let me make sure.

It just got seized. Sometimes it just wouldn't work. Like a screaming eagle. It better not be. Andy, can you record some Jason Derulo-style drops, but you're saying Jason Capono? Okay, it does. Yes, jasoncapono.com.

We'll take you to our TeePublic store for all of our cool merch. Yeah. And... So that was like last in like 2008 or something and none of the people that have won since then steph won i think in like 2016 or something clay thompson won the year after that no one else has won twice booker won a couple years ago. So I don't know. I think I would definitely pick him in this group, but I was watching Dwayne Wade in the pregame show for the Celtics-Clippers game tonight, and he was like, but here's the thing.

The person that you think is going to win never wins. I hope they bring back the Brother Do Zone. That's often true. The Brother Do Zone. Yes, the Brother Do Zone. That's often true. The Brother Do Zone. Yes, the Brother Do Zone is crucial. I actually bet it once or twice, I feel like, we were there for All-Star Weekend. And it isn't usually who, like it was Joe Harris one year. Yeah, that was great.

Because I did feel like Steph was trying it out. Wasn't Steph in that one? I think so. Yeah. That was great because I did feel like Steph was trying it out. Wasn't Steph in that one? I think so. Yeah. That was cool. So here's who it would be if it's the person you think it's not going to be. It's Zach Levine. That's who Wade picked on that basis.

Yeah. Is he going to be in the dunk contest too, though? I want to see him in a dunk contest. He's the best dunk of all time. The dunk contest is mostly unknowns, I believe. It's like OB. Anthony Simons and Cassius Stanley. Is Derrick Jones not going to be in it?

Is Derrick Jones active right now? I don't know. Derrick Jones, yeah. He's playing for Miami. Oh, he's at Portland. That's right. That's right. They still got to pick a fourth person. I like him. There was something in his face

when he was going through that whole thing with Aaron Gordon last year. There was something in his face that was very endearing. That was like, this guy's a sweet guy. Maybe his eyes. He doesn't like, I don't like all this stuff that's going on. I just come out here and do my dunkaroos. Can we calm down? I don't want to, I'm not, you know.

Hey, if everybody wants to vote for him because he dunked on Taco, listen, I just want to do my dunkaroo. Hang on, hang on. Let's let tonight be about the dunkaroos. Yeah. And not all this other noise. That's all distraction. It was something in his face that was saying he was, like,

kind of embarrassed by the situation When he got the win When he got the win Right Almost as if he wanted to give it back Yeah And that endeared him to me Put him on my list of

The Paul George honorary list of sweet guys in the league That I like Are you talking about Paul George? Put of sweet guys in the league. Mm-hmm. That I like. Are you talking about Paul George? I'm on the sweetie pie list. He got snubbed from this event. From the three-point contest, yeah. Yep. I'll take Booker.

Okay, Andy. You had a classic. You were saying you were going to incorporate this insult from this next one into your own repertoire. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out exactly how, but yeah, Shaq, speaking of Donovan Mitchell, he's talking about

the way he was treated and how players now have it. Oh, Shaq is on this guy's show. A lot of people take flack. When I take flack, a lot of people right now, oh, you're too hard on the youngsters. Well, I'm just doing what was done to me. I can remember when I was averaging 30, 35 in LA,

but we'd always get swept. And the great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said, hey, you guys won the championship yet. Did I whine? Did I cry? Did I complain on social media? Nope, I didn't say anything because Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had

G14 classification to say that. So I'm not going to do that. I've been to see with the greatest NBA player ever. So when he said that, when he gave me constructive criticism, I took it and I listened and I brought my game to another level. So these guys now, they're

pudding pops. You say something about them, oh, Jeff's speaking. Is that Jeb Bush he's talking to? Who would make you nervous? Please, Shaq. I was texting people this the other day, but I think, Sean, we at some point should tell the story that we heard about Shaq on Reality Show Show

that we then had to cut. I think enough time has passed. Well, and we're not... We can't get sued by TruTV because we weren't there. That's right. And the story was, we had a friend who was working on Shaq's prank show.

His prank clip show, which was called Upload with Shaquille O'Neal. And they were doing a segment where they had to go to Shaq's house. And they get up to his house and they're walking in. And it's very clear that Shaq has just, just broken up with his long-term girlfriend, Hoops.

He broke up with Hoops literally minutes before they arrived. She is removing her possessions from the house in boxes as they are walking into the house and our friend is like

oh Shaq do you like do you want to like reschedule this shoot and he says no she was a put and pop she couldn't handle being in a relationship with me I'm good to go let's film these pranks Pretend you're scared

You know there's evidence that Shaq was very upset When people would criticize him Back in the day And so I Don't believe that he was just upset when people would criticize him back in the day. And so I don't believe that he was just... There was no social media. There was no social media. He was right that he didn't complain.

Abdul-Jabbar was saying you never won a championship. The reason he did not take to Twitter was because it was not in existence. And he should know because Twitter initially was just him saying where he was in Phoenix and if someone came and touched him... he would touch me for tickets.

He would give them tickets. That's what Twitter was for like four years. Yeah. And it was better then. And I owe him a debt. It was that. And it was A plus K Ashton Kutcher in a race to get to a million followers. I remember that.

And Shaq was on there committing random acts of Shaqness. Okay, what else happened? Well, speaking of prank shows, Blake Griffin. Yes. Yes. Okay. Hit it. His own little twist.

What's up, guys? Blake Griffin here. You know what I love better than a prank? A prankster getting pranked. Who is this dude? You just got double-crossed. He got me. Wow.

You've never seen a prank show like this. We turn the tables and prank the pranksters. Wrong window! I love how your shoes match your pranksters. One, two, three. Wrong window. I love how your shoes match your speedo. Oh, my God. It's about to go down. Biggest prank ever for my girlfriend. This is going to be good.

Oh, my God. This is a win. Everybody stay where you are. NBA superstar pranked you, man. Love coming for you, Blake. What you going to do? Get out and freak her out. Double the pranks.

Double the laughs. Double crossed. Revenge is a dish best served by this guy. Double cross with Blake Griffin. Premieres March 19th. Was that Ryan Gull? Was that Ryan Gull? He pranked Ryan Gull with a little bit of luck. It was Ryan Gull. Was that Ryan Gall? Was that Ryan Gall? He praised Ryan Gall. With a little bit of luck, it was Ryan Gall.

A Ryan Gall. Go back to where three people were sitting at a table right before the lady jumps out the window. After the funeral. It's like in... That could have been Ryan Gall. No, that's not him. That's not him. That's not him.

But it's fine that you thought it might be. I did see my buddy Raphael, and people like CollegeHumor know Raphael from CollegeHumor. He's the FBI agent. Who said this is a raid? Yeah, this is a raid. That was it. It's Raphael. So the premise

of the show is that it's a prank show, but it's actually the person who is who thinks that they are committing the prank who is being pranked the prankster who ends up being the target of every joke as this youtube description devious twist this opens up unbelievable possibilities of a triple cross a triple cross into a host cross where the prank appears to be going so so badly that blake himself is the one who's being pranked i can't wait for that to happen now there was a rule obviously on punked that you could never punk ashton and a few people tried and when he got wind of it man that was when you were going to get so pranked so i i think that

probably blake because he's the mastermind behind these devious double crosses he's going to be able to sniff out if something is a little funky or one of the pranks is turning around on him that like that's not quite right but i uh i challenge anyone to try i would love to see them do it but buyer beware i worry a little bit i will always love blake and i worry that the way he is playing right now is actually affecting The way he is playing right now is actually affecting his ability to get work in his chosen profession, which is this. Pranking. Pranking, yes. I'm concerned that were he playing a little better right now, these sets would work a little bit better.

little better right now these sets would work a little bit better they like just like everything about this would just like would be a little higher status yeah andy can you take this off the screen sure i purposely hate when a jock is better at pranks than i am uh-huh i just can't it really i like i'm just mad that he didn't want to be on my prank team. Blake has, obviously has a lot of content coming, coming down. I met with his production company at one point. I had an idea for a sports-related film concept, and we took a long meeting, not with Blake, but with his development person, who then said,

yeah, the thing is, Blake doesn't want to do anything that has anything to do with sports. I heard the same speech. And I said, oh, that's so interesting. I said, oh, that's so interesting. So, you know, we can see now double cross. Yeah, double dribble, crossover dribble. These are words that are like basketball, but you notice they don't actually have anything to do with basketball,

and neither does the show. Do you want to talk about your concept? I think you referred to me as the baseball biter. I mean, I don't really want to give it away for free. Okay. But sure, okay. It is a madman who starts eating baseballs at the Major League Games. The team at the bottom of the standings realizes that if the baseballs get eaten, then the game ends in a forfeit, which is good for them.

For them, it's as good as a tie. So they want to tie their way to the middle of the standings by keeping the baseball biter strong and out of prison. So there's a lot of them building secret tunnels under the stadium and everything. from Transylvania actually is about to feed the ball to the baseball biter which will result in

them tying for world champion and he realizes that he thinks he has to pitch this one and really play it out. And the team starts to believe in themselves. The team's the Yankees. It's new york yankees so okay so you had said that i guess he is eating the baseballs because you had said based on some screen tests you were doing

that you were changing it to like he just bites them so much that like they're tough they're obviously not usable anymore yeah a game just to have a misguest the whole thing i mean it was really really important to me that we use real baseballs yes um i just hate when i can tell it's a fake baseball that someone is chewing on in a movie like that's like one of my absolute pet peeves. And frankly, it's the reason basketball didn't work. So, you know, I get very angry when I see stuff like that. Or if the cup is empty. Have you seen when someone hands a coffee cup, but the cup is empty?

And I know it's empty. I'm smart. Me. So it has to be a real baseball. And yeah, I mean, I'm willing to loosen the stitches a little bit because that could happen just in play. And so then like maybe the baseball biter can...

Also, we lost our main baseball biter. Just like a scheduling conflict. And with COVID, it's been crazy. Okay, Andy. Do you have a game for us? We have a little game. Great. What's the name of this game, Andy?

It's, of course, What Did This Man Say? After Dark Horny Edition. After Dark Horny Edition. After Dark Horny Edition. Great. And so we have a slideshow here. Yes. Cue up some smooth jazz right here, Andy. I'll drop it in.

No Rhyme, No Reason by George Duke. Drop that in right here. Okay. Okay, wow. So you found some very horny replies and the game is we try to guess who the replies are being horny about who they're talking about yeah great so let's here's the first one i found on reddit okay is it me or blank has a big butt and then this mr science Man in the comments says, Most top athletes will.

Posterior chain is like the largest, most important muscle group for athleticism and performance. And it's gotten to the point that NFL scouts literally check out dudes' asses during the combine. I think I read a scouting report one time that said something along the lines of, He has an ass you could serve a dinner tray on. You don't serve a dinner tray. You just serve dinner. Would you care for a bite of a dinner tray? Okay, this was two years ago.

We, as I'm thinking about this, I'm thinking like, okay, some obviously have really big butts to the point that you wouldn't say is it me yeah or does like kyle lowry have a big butt his butt's huge chris paul yeah yeah james harden james harden has a big butt this was two years ago i have a little hint though it's posted by Spurs. But Cavaliers response. Could be a red herring.

And they just choose their favorite team. So it doesn't necessarily mean that he's posting about a Spurs player. My guess, since it was two years ago, is Zion. Zion's butt is huge. But maybe it's too big to ask the is it me question. But it's big. Anyone else have a guess? I'm going to say

is it me or does so-and-so have a big butt? I'm going to say I'm going to go ahead and give it to Harden. I'm going to say Harden. Okay, let me think for a second Well I'll go I'll go with a spur And

I'm going to pick I'm going to have it be a draft It's two years ago who was in that draft I'll say Lonnie Walker Okay It was LeBron James Hasn't okay It's two years ago who was in that draft. I'll say Lonnie Walker. Okay. It was LeBron James. Oh, okay.

Yeah, he does. I mean, he has a huge butt, of course. Because he's a top athlete. A perfectly hemispherical. Most top athletes will. Okay, number two. Someone on Instagram comments, making OnlyFans. Okay.

And then someone else replies, LOL, they got four kids. You know what that means? And then someone else replies, he just piping daily in a crying emoji. Okay, so this is just a photo of the player, right? There could be more people in the photo in this one. Okay.

All right. I'm going to say Steph and Aisha in this one. Yeah, that's a very good guess. Great guess. LeBron also has four kids, right? He does. No, LeBron has three. LeBron has three kids. I'll go with Steph. Dwayne Wade has four kids, right? He does. No, LeBron has three. LeBron has three kids.

I'll go with Steph. Dwayne Wade has some kids. Because I would also come and make an OnlyFans. I would like to see Steph pipe that down. But this wouldn't be. Make another kid from then. LeBron, I don't think, has four kids with Gabrielle Union, at least. So this is they got four kids.

So I will agree that it's steph and aisha i think it is too i don't have a better guess anyway okay it is gordon hayward oh yeah okay okay of course four boys daddy's always happy i don't know if i will watch that i don't know if I would watch that on Instagram. I don't know if I would pay for it. If somebody snuck in and put it on Reddit, I might check the thread. I don't know if I'd pay for it, though. Okay. Number three. So this one is a bit of a twist where the person in the replies is an NBA player.

Justina Valentine is offering... I didn't make it to the NBA. I just made it to college, Andy, so I don't know if that's me. She really should be checking her DMs. I definitely like myself some Justina Valentine. Justina Valentine

writes, get your very own signed calendar now and some nba player responded you're saying with the message check dm yes multiple times it's got to be a young guy or a guy that's out of the league so this is this is 2021 this is one day well i know i will say that this isn't my screenshot i found this it's been deleted i think this was like know i will say that this isn't my screenshot i found this it's been deleted i think this was like a couple years ago that this happened oh wait no it's what you want never mind no of course you know it was is recent but like a couple months i think it's a young dude i think it's a dude that

that don't not that he doesn't play i'm sure he plays but i think it's this has to be somebody like a uh like a dude who's young but not super out there like thinking that this wouldn't be seen you know i mean right yeah this is a hard one yeah I'm thinking of people who are on Twitter a lot. Because Zion wouldn't do this. CJ's on Twitter a lot, but I don't think he'd do this. CJ wouldn't do this. I'm thinking... I mean, he might do it to like... It is the kind of thing Porzingis used to do.

Sure, yes. I think CJ would be like, stop playing with my calendar and send it. I have the money for it. Believe me, I have the money. I think this is all a misunderstanding. And this is CheckDiallo, and he's trying to write CheckDiallo, me.

He's putting it at me. He's putting it at me. He's putting his email address. Name somebody on the Hornets that's young. Devontae Graham. It's a small market player that is young. Miles Bridges. I'm going to say Malik Monk. And I know that's wrong, but I'm going to just say Malik Monk.

Aaron Gordon. Let's see. Too big. Wendell Carter Jr. I love that for Wendell Carter Jr. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that all three of these were the same person. The replies were him saying, check DM.

Because I bet you it was saying, not going through. He kept doing it. He's just typing his credit card number in her DMs. Who's Justina Valentine? Should I know who that is? She was on Wildin' Out. She's just hot.

Check DM. Number four. This post she's she's just hot check the um all right number four uh so this post has a reply ls moss guapo k curry ha ha ha ha that's my crush and then if this man would just let me love him and then finally someone says congratulations If this man would just let me love him. And then finally someone says, congratulations. Okay, and this is someone who is just giving a speech. Oh, yeah. I have included a microphone.

Okay. Is that a clue? Kind of. What's Guapo? I forgot what Guapo was. Handsome. Handsome. I was about to say ugly. Ugly is fail.

Fail, yeah. Yeah, that's also a clue. This guy, this person thinks he's more handsome than Seth Curry. More is very handsome. He's more handsome than Steph Curry. I mean, does that... If this man would just let me love him, that's my

crush. This is Kelly Oubre speaking at the Boston College graduation. I'm going to say Kelly Oubre. I'm trying to think of recent... Would this have been

a Laker and the championship? But there was no parade. There was no parade. This looks like some sort of... Who's into crypto? Not Top Shot. This looks like maybe...

Well, it looks outside, though. Outdoor crypto conference? Yeah. Okay, who are they all absolutely just like horning out over? I guess it probably is Kelly Oubre Uber if that's what everyone is saying over and over. That's a good guess. Sean? I'll say Clay just because of the curry comparison.

Lamello Ball. I don't know. When I was really trying to think of who it could be on the because the color I was if we hadn't just gone through all the hornets i was going to be like it's the color of the hornets team i didn't know if it could be like a team function but i wouldn't have gotten there anyway i don't think yeah i don't associate him

with people lusting being this horny he was on a few lists that i was looking up of of most attractive players that's interesting that's very interesting to me he always he he felt like he had a vibe of because people kind of saw him grow up but now they're respecting him as an adult i appreciate that even adrian ramirez who's saying he's much more handsome than Steph Curry. Ha ha ha ha. Alright. So this is a picture of someone on vacation, and my favorite comment, just to think about the cheeks,

you get to clap. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, and a hint. It was liked by the Dunktown. Okay. Kelly fucking Oubre.

That is a hint. And Ariel Jordan is doing the eyes emoji. A lot of eyes. And the Galactic Queen is drooling. Okay. So is this Kelly Oubre finally? Everyone's guessing that? It is.

Yes. I have nothing else. Oh, Blake. Oh, Blake. He looks good. He does look good in that picture. I should have known that by the Air Force Ones. Kelly Oubre I don't think will wear regular old Air Forces.

Just think about the cheeks you get to class to go. A lot of thirst about his legs on this one. The legs are very powerful. They look so hard. They look strong. From clapping those cheeks. Just think about the cheeks. Those legs are

built for pranking. You will get double crossed by those legs. Okay. Last one. this is great andy can i just say this is so good yeah this is a really good game i'm so terrible at it but it's really good yeah i think it's hard and it's hard to find a very hard game it's hard to find thirst that is interesting like most of the time it's just like and that's like a good clue usually it's just like stuff me his mouth can fit my whole heart yeah so this one someone says that's my baby oof and then someone else says his mouth can fit my whole heart in a wink so it's two

women it has to be a really popular player i'm i'm cheating a little bit because i'm trying to see if i can see under these you have to see this one so yeah this is from a while ago too this one 2016. oh yeah so how'd you find these what do you say i had to go through i searched like most attractive players i went through a lot of like. There's a Tumblr called Shirtless NBA Players that was helpful to find all the hottest picks. That's my baby oof. His mouth can fit my whole heart. So he's somebody yelling. He's yelling.

Is this just Bron? Is this Bron? It's Andre Iguodala. His mouth. Who does that like? Or is it Westbrook? Yeah, that's a great guess. That's a great guess.

I think I made these too hard. That's a college. What's his name? I wish I should have remembered his name that's just yeah that's right from college but yeah it's right it's him in college i don't know i was trying to just find funny it's hard to find funny comments i'm just amazed is that your little all before right there too everyone's yeah look all these people have their mouths could probably fit my whole heart yeah our whole hearts going in all their mouths

Alright there you go Okay Andy it looks like we have a couple We only have a few minutes left It's after 2.30 Where Sean is We got really horny We exploded All of our hearts could fit these guys mouths

What uh We have two songs that you wanted to play or just one? We could play two. I think that we definitely should get to the flagrant five has been teased a lot. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it. It's late. Let's rock me to sleep with the flagrant five.

I got to get back to the club. The flagrant five is, Andy, you want to just rattle them off? Yes. Sarah Love, Steve Sachs, Stephen Shaw, Char Grix, and Eastman Presser have joined forces to say mean things about me.

That's great. Let's hear it. Our engineer fights back a great tear. Yeah, and he is sad, but our hero. Cause he's got a tongue like De Niro. Nisa, Nisa, sad Nisa, Nisa. Thank you, Steve Sack.

Hold on a second. Eastman put this out? You bullshit. Now please don't make me say this twice. Please don't make me say this twice. Just because my flow is nice. Just because my flow is nice. I will not apologize. For all of my comments on Reddit that made Andy cry.

Okay. I told a friend that y'all feature my raps They asked me, why did they pay you for that? I said, it's actually funny you ask I'm the one that gives them the cash They look confused and say, where can I hear it? I said, you gotta pay 60 a year, it's easy to access Once you do that shit, they're hilarious, you can't imagine Really, they said, maybe I'll check it out

By the way, what's the show all about? I told them, they mostly just talk really loud While some other podcast plays in the background Comprehensively, they cover games Extensively, they lift up players by name Ostensibly, it's just a basketball pod That's hosted by Hayes, Andy, Carl, and Sean Oh, okay, yeah, no Yeah, not for me

Sorry Steven Shaw has entered the chat Eastman, drop that beat quick, I need it Lemelo from Starbucks, I eat it Lil' bitch, try to play me in zone Then watch me hit my three quick Lil' bitch, gimme them feet quick I'll lick, I'm like Ace

How many F's you have? And he gonna slice my ass Carl's got the ball and he's not gonna pass Shot broke his ankles and banged out the glass Shootin' I'll send the shit back My gun is from China, Kauai is bleeding real bad Lookin' like a mega hat, take a quick look at the stats I'm ballin' like Harden in Houston, wait no, broke him, got him all shook as shit,

Kyrie and Kevin and Harden just took the shit Lakers ain't getting this ring, and he just sliced out my whole thing in length, all hail to the greatest of kings, I cannot help but stand that motherfucking flag of one, look at God, look at God, Eastman and Steve hit me up for a reversal, I gave him one, Kevin really quit his job, Sean with the hopty, hisrick and Vander are not me, pinching crabs on my hot tea, no one can stop me, plenty of players have blonde hair, militant look like a Nazi, I'm in the box, he's sucking Do we know this identity of this person? Chargricks. Chargricks. Halloween, he's morose. Plenty women ringing up his phone. At the moment, he don't feel like licking toes.

Something's wrong. Why you think they call him Mr. Knees, little baby? That's what he's down on to reach the feet, little baby. Looking at the moonlight, how the fuck I'm sad? With all these honey buns, I got stuff in my duffel bag. Sheesh, am I crazy? I'm Disney's Andy Neese. I'm a gray king. Fuck the failing gray lady

Now let me dry these tears with the money that they pay me Then he did a burnout in a custom gray Mercedes I'm at the DMV, no mask COVID guidelines, I'm trying to slap that ass Big pants Sean, yeah he double-cheeked up Hayes got the sugar shrub up in his cup I don't get paid to make beats like these Very good. Very good, people. Very good.

Wow. My God. A a super group thank you so much for that all the second toe references are my favorite very enjoyed very much enjoyed the bars at the moon like how the fuck i'm sad fuck i'm sad there was a whole run about like andy slapping sean and his cheek swelling and that makes two of us this just has to stop i just feel like i like i'm listening to this and i'm just like this cannot i love the breakdown of the like oh wow did they pay you to play your raps it's like oh it's funny actually no i pay them oh that's really funny. That was good. I guess we just have to have them all on at some point.

This is like... I don't know how else to play it. Wow. Thank you. Good night. Good night. that was a hate gun podcast