Hollywood Handbook - Brett, Sam, and Cody, Our Engineers

Episode Date: September 8, 2014

Hayes and Sean play a game of "That's Wheely Interesting" where they describe their first encounters with celebrities and Sean talks about BBQ festival etiquette. Then, BRETT, SAM, and CODY are on the other side of the table for an exclusive engineer-only episode where they get really personal and tackle some confusing games from other podcasts. Finally, during the Popcorn Gallery, Brett finally finds out what Sam does when he's not in the studio.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. head back and her mouth open like she's snoozing during the show she's just like having a snooze but then i talked to her after the show i come over and she explained she was frozen in a laugh oh yes she was having a big laugh and she froze in laugh position from the bigness of the big laughy the laugh laugh, the, so the, let me clear it up for myself just so I can picture it. Yes. It looked like a snooze. It certainly did.

Yeah. But she's laughing and the laugh's so big that what happened to her body is it got froze. It got froze in laughing. Like in that movie. Which? Weird Science. Yes. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet line,

back hallways of this industry we call showbiz. I'm Hayes Davenport. I'm here with Sean Clements. And Sean would like to wish you a... What up, what up? Thank you. and Sean would like to wish you a... What up, what up? Thank you.

We have this little game that we like to play sometimes on the show. In this town, it sometimes seems very big, but it's actually very small. And what happens in a small town, you know, when you go out on the street, you meet a lot of the same people over and over again. So we play a little game called that's wheelie interesting yes the game is called that's wheelie interesting because

the central component is a wheel that we spin and it's got the names of everyone we've ever met on it and it lands on a certain person and And we explain how we met that person. We tell the story of how we met that person. Exactly. And so, Sean, would you like to do the honors of spinning the wheel? And you spin the wheel and you do it for me just to start the game? Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, It's digital. Okay, and now I'm getting ready to spin it now. I've done all my stretching. I've limbered up.

And I have programmed my back. I got this new electronic back implant. And I have a little computer that I program it with when I'm going to do a big physical exertion and now I'm ready to spin. Hello. Nothing to fear but fear except E equals MC squared.

Dev Patel. Well, Dev was – it's funny that it landed on him actually. Dev was, it's funny that it landed on him, actually. Dev was doing Newsroom in New Orleans. They shoot that down there. Yeah. And I was there, too, to have a big party. Like, I was going to have a big parade.

Did you not know Dev before Newsroom? No. Well, before that, you don't remember he was sort of a street rat. Mmm. And then you know, that wasn't a time that I was associating with him. Did you know him when he was a street rat? Yes, I think I paid him to steal a carton

of cigarettes from me. Mmm. Boy. Did you say that? Mmm. Boy, fetch me. Boy. Did you say that? Boy, fetch me those cigarettes. I said boy or girl. I can't even tell. He had a big mop of hair. I hate when people have long hair.

Yeah. And I don't know what they are. You see them from behind. A man. You see them from behind and you approach them. Frequently with sort of a Randy Gate. Right. With your hands out and like sort of curled up to like pinch their bottoms.

Yeah. And then they turn around and you're both men. Yes. Yeah. I can see how that would be stressful for you. You paid him to steal something for you? A pack of cigarettes? A carton.

Oh, a carton. Those are much more expensive. Yes, well, he's so small he could jump over the counter and sort of climb his way up the little... Anyway. Yes.

You were in New Orleans. I'm just surprised you didn't know him already. I was in New Orleans and I had heard that there was someone there who knew a genie that I could potentially

get a wish from. So I go to the set, and Dev meets me, and he says, hey, I heard you're looking for a genie. And well, you just rub this. And he holds out what I think was his phone.

He just extends his phone and he has like the light app, the flashlight app going. And it's dark, so it does sort of look like a real lamp. But when I was feeling it, it was definitely a phone. And I rub it and some voice i don't know if it was his or somebody else's but it starts going like oh welcome the genie and then i don't see any genie but he says that it is there, and he says, I'll prove to you that the genie's here. The genie knocked that book off the shelf,

and the book does fall off the shelf when he does that, but it's also got like a big rope tied to it. The book has like a huge rope attached to it. It's going to his hand. And I don't know if that's for something... You think he pulled the rope? I don't know. I don't know. It could have been that he was just holding the rope and the genie

knocked it over. And can I say, if you did have a book that was flying off the shelf a lot and sort of had a mind of its own, you may want to put some kind of rope on it so you don't lose it. And it doesn't fly away. Because you don't know when you leave the room where that book's going to be unless you somehow fastened it.

Yes. And at that point, I was sort of skeptical that the genie is real. Fair. And so he says that he can, he knows my past as a genie. Like like he can tell me something about my past yeah Hayes we know what genies are and so I said I say okay sure and he starts telling me about how I had a grandma which is true pretty uncanny it is. I never knew that about you. And he described her as an old lady. Wait, is this real? Yes, that was also true.

Yes, that is real. So he said, I had a grandma who's an old lady. Haze, why didn't you tell me that? I just had never come up before. Yeah. And so the fact that he would know that did sort of sell me on it. And so I wish for a girlfriend. And the genie goes, okay.

And then the little light goes out. And I have to pay, you know, it's Dev's genie. So I have to pay him $400,000 for a wish from the genie. But then I did get a girlfriend. I met Carrie Ann like two months after that. And then we started dating like three and a half years after that. And now, you know, naturally, Dev and I are very close. And I'm rubbing on that genie.

I'm wishing on that genie. Like I'm a wishing fool these days. I bet you feel a little silly for doubting him. Yes, I do. Just because he doesn't look like me. I mean, it's a lesson about judging people because they sort of look different. Yes, because he's so thin. Okay.

Well, do you want to spin the wheel for me? Yes, I'll off in a race car and I came back to get my spinny stick. Mm-hmm. Okay, and now I'm going to do the real spinny. Featuring Brian Baumgartner. Oh, the wheel landed on Brian Baumgardner, who played Kevin from The Office. How did you meet

Brian? Brian. Oh, no. Okay. Am I really going to tell this? I guess I have to, right? That's the rules of That's really interesting. That's the rules of...

That's the rules of... That's really interesting. That's really interesting. So, well, you can probably guess Brian and I have a decent amount in common. We have some common interests. a decent amount in common. We have some common interests.

Sure. One of those being authentic Kansas City barbecue. Yeah. What's the difference? Is it the rub? It's the, yes. Yes. It's a dry rub

on the Kansas City barbecue. It's not saucy. And all these saucy barbecues that have come out here and that are all through the Southwest, I just can't really get on board

because it's so messy. And it's not real. It's fake. Number one, it's fake. And I think that goes without saying. But number two, I'm sorry. I like to dress nice when I go to barbecue. I wear a tux with tails, and I don't want to be getting sauce all over it. Now, if there's a powder on my ribs that's kind of a nice dry rub that's been pushed in there, and then they heat it on the charcoal.

Yeah. Is that for a short time or a long time? No, not a short time. Oh, haze. Well, I don't know. This is you and Brian's thing. I don't know. It is me and Brian's thing.

Yes, haze. No. So it is a short time? No, it's not a short time. How long? Like 10 minutes? Haze. No.

Well, I don't know! Well, that's become quite clear. It's a long time, Haze. I'm talking about slow cooking some of these ribs. Anyhow, I'm, you know, passing through Kansas City, and I'm down there for a festival. It was not a film festival, but a barbecue festival. That's right, barbecue. Barbecue.

Barbecue festival. That's right. Barbecue. So I'm down there and I sit down at the judge's table to be a judge of what's the good food. And I say, hey, who's the other judges on this thing? And they go, well, well Emeril and I go try again I'm not gonna sit next to that

hockey puck because he's not a real guy he's fake he's faker than those saucy barbecue restaurants I mentioned. Yeah. Like a hockey puck.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'll tell you what's so... A hockey puck to you is like a fake baseball. Yes. Because you can barely even throw it. You can't use it on the grass. No.

It's like doing an imitation of a sports thing. And it's a liar. I mean, a hockey puck is a liar. And that's what Emeril is. Because what a hockey puck says is, have fun with me, play a game. But what it really means is, oh, by the way,

make sure you don't take me to the park with your kids because you're gonna look like a real fool and now Emeril pretends all the time that he's kicking things up a notch and he's bamming things but you know he's not even doing that

so anyway they have a pretty large chair there for Emeril, but now they can't use him. So who's a big guy that's going to be able to fill this chair? Who do you think it was? Well, I would think it was Brian. The story is about Brian. Brian. It was Brian.

Brian Urlacher, yes. Okay. The story is about Brian. Brian. It was Brian. Brian Urlacher, yes. Okay. Now, Brian Urlacher is very good friends and was actually college roommates with a little guy who acted on The Office that I think you are not going to be surprised to hear who this is. Is this Brian Baumgartner?

Creed Bratton. Oh, it was Creed. So Brian Urlacher is friends with Creed. That's right. So me, Urlacher, and Creed all go out after the big barbecue festival, and we're tying one on, and they go, man, you know who would have loved this barbecue? Yeah.

I go, who, Brian Baumgartner? Because I'm friends with him, you know? Yeah, you'd already met him a long time ago. Yeah, am I supposed to be telling when I met him? Well, yes, but this is also a good story. Oh. I'm happy to hear the end of this story if this is the interesting one. Oh, it's kind of not i

mean you know being honest uh we just you know we just went out for a couple drinks and then uh i mean erlacher almost got in a fight but he didn't uh-huh uh so this is a less interesting story than how you met Brian Baumgartner. Oh, when I met him, that's a crazy story. When I met Baumgartner, ooh, me and the bomber. That's a crazy one. Do you want to tell that one, or did you already tell your story? Well, I'm kind of all storied out now.

I mean, because when I met the bomber, you know, it was like, and the reason I call him that is because we defuse a bomb on Air Force One. That's why you call him the bomber? Or at the time, we thought it was Air Force One. I mean, that's how crazy it gets. And it was, yeah, because of technology, it wound up not being that. Did you ever find out what it was oh gosh uh it was a big condor like a bird it was just a huge one but it did have a bomb on it well okay so this is why i call him the bomber

It didn't. You call him the bomber because he thought he was defusing a bomb on a plane. We both did. Yeah. We both thought that at the time. So anyway, yeah, the story, I met him. But that whole, I mean, even getting to Air Force One, the whole thing wasn't real. Yeah, security is really tight.

It was a huge ordeal, and yeah, we had different identities and all this stuff. That's a good story. I have to do that one sometime. That one's good. Yeah, but he loves barbecue. I mean, I thought that's what you asked me. Am I wrong? I thought. Yeah, but he loves barbecue. I mean, I thought that's what you asked me. Am I wrong? I thought you asked me if he likes barbecue. He loves Kansas City.

I might have. I think this is my fault. I'm not sure exactly what I did wrong, but I accept responsibility for you accidentally telling the wrong story. Yeah. Creed has kind of an interesting birthmarkmark but that's not really a story uh-huh yeah do you want it looks like an anvil it's like on his hip we have an interesting thing that we're doing today a little change of

pace usually what we have in here is famous celebrities. We want to sort of flip the script today. We are having all three Earwolf engineers in the studio as our guests, so they can be the celebrities today for a change. It's a way to give back a little bit. It's an Earwolf-ary here. You know, four years of podcasts or something. And we want to, you know, it's sort of a make-a-wish thing for the engineers. And it should be a very nice thing for us to do. Coming up on Hollywood Handbook. So I'm talking to her, and I'm kind of keeping her there for a little while

and so I go you know Julie Bowen one cool thing you can say if you ever get hit with a water balloon is oh thanks I was hot anyway you know like to play it off

and she goes like oh I guess that's a good tip. Boom, smash. She gets hit with a frigging water balloon right in the head. It didn't break. But did she remember to say? Well, yeah.

I mean, she remembered what I told her, but it didn't, you know, it bounced off her head and then it didn't, it broke against a rock. Well, it's, it still is. So she didn't get wet from it. Right, but when it's hitting her, it still is a little cold. Yeah, I should have said that to her. Hey, welcome to Hollywood. What up, what up.

And Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names of the Red Carpet Linebacker is here with us in this industry we call Showbiz, doing things a little bit differently today. What we like to do normally on the show, we were saying this a little bit ago, we like to bring in a superstar to talk about the business and being a celebrity, and they talk about being a success. Yes. When you think about trying to do the opposite of that doing things not just a little bit differently but as differently as you could possibly do them what do you do literally if the

show was a human we'd be turning the inside out and showing you the inside guts and if like as if you're a and if you're not a medically trained doctor, it could make you feel pretty sick. But isn't that a treat for the guts? Yes. Who don't normally get to be seeing them. Yes, and we do want to do something to say thank you to the guts because even though your guts can look gross, they actually are making your body work.

gross they actually are making your body work and so what we're doing today is we're having the engineers from earwolf all three engineers are being on the show and now it's their turn it's sort of like the bat kid thing uh it's their turn to be heroes we have engineer brett hello We have Engineer Brett. Hello. And Engineer Sam is here. Just wait until I'm done and then you say. Engineer Sam is here. Hello. And Engineer Cody. Baba boy. Now, okay.

Cody. Cody. We've asked you. Now, that is the specific thing that we told you not to say. You said you were going to do it before the show, which, by the way, you shouldn't do that. It's not surprising. And you have a little impish smile, and that I really don't like, because it seems like you're not learning your lesson.

You think you got one over on us, but you did not. You didn't get one over on us, and we're not going to have you do that anymore. And now you're in big trouble. Yes, and your punishment is being decided unless you straighten up and fly right for the rest of the episode. And your mic is cut off until we decide to

determine what your punishment is. So we'll focus on Brad and Sam. That's probably a good idea. And what is it, and what's it like to sort of be on the other side of it? To be sitting in a different chair? Are you freaking out?

I am a little nervous. I would normally be excited to be asked to be a guest on a show, but I mean, the introduction alone, it was just like, here we go. I'm gonna get shit on for an hour. I think we'll do 40 minutes at most just and brett i actually think that's a really ridiculous attitude to approach this with because we you're you're sitting in a chair where you look at the other

people who have sat there it's like it's sort of a big deal brett and are you saying that like someone like i mean imagine like ben schwartz coming in here and being like putting on this whole like tough guy act and saying i don't even want to be here because like i don't even think that like oh you guys aren't even treating me the right way like or would he do what he actually, which is show up and put on a great show? Yeah, and he was, I have no problem with Ben Schwartz. He was totally cool. No one does, Brent. What are you talking about?

We're saying he didn't act like what you're acting like, and it's not nice. And if he had done that, then he probably wouldn't be on House of Lies anymore. And if you ever want to be on House of Lies anymore. And if you ever want to be on House of Lies, then just... I just don't. Okay. Okay. Doesn't want to be on House of Lies.

He comes to you and he says, do you want to be on House of Lies? And you say, no, I don't. We've got an Engineer Brett character this season. He says, he's going to bring Don Cheadle a hamburger sandwich. And so that's the arc that they pitch for you. And you go, oh, no, I've got to play with my Tonka trucks. Fucking forget it.

That's you. I mean, unreal. Sam, what do you think? Sam, he asked you think? Sam, he asked you a question. Is my ban on talking into the mic lifted for this? Well, that is actually something that we

should probably address because you do get to be a guest. That's for sure. Well, I just said we're deciding. He does definitely get to be a guest. Yeah. But as part of that, does that supersede the existing ban on speaking on the show?

Well, I mean, what's the other option? Do we have him just tell Brett? What if it's only questions? What if he's answering questions? And we ask him a question, and he's answering the questions. Okay. Okay. Does he have a word limit on that?

Was that some sort of Twitter joke? Brett's become something of a tweetster recently, and he's always looking at it when he should be maybe looking at the levels. And this was supposed to be a nice thing. And that is what I would still like it to be. Can we wipe the slate kind of clean right now? Well, yes, I would love to. I'm not the one who was scribbling all over the slate slurs about Ben Schwartz.

And let's start over, and it's a reward, and you said you didn't like him, and we remember that, and we won't forget that. It's a reward and you said you didn't like him and we remember that and we won't forget that. It's a reward to be doing this. And you didn't like that we introduced you by saying you're not superstars. Apparently you feel like you're more famous than freaking Jordan Morris and a lot of the other big names we've had in here.

You said I was like intestines or something, guts? I mean that... Well, and the idea that it's bad to be guts when i said guts is good they look gross but they actually make a body work yes you did say that when imagine being without guts would you like that i don't think so okay doctors get paid a lot of money to do stuff with guts yes so if you think about that, you know. Now, Sam, here's a question. What do you think about all this? I love it.

I'm lucky to be here, considering how badly I started. Badly? Badly. And now you did misspeak, and that's true. And now I suppose the band comes up for review he did say a strange word brett points out he did it in sort of a snarky way but he is factually correct i had a good point but he made it in a mean way see that's what i wish you guys would recognize sometimes that i just did recognize that, Brett.

What do you want me to do? I just said it. All right. Okay. Hang on. Hang on. No, Brett's right. I think I got a parade here in my pocket.

Yeah, that's right. Brett noticed something, so I'm going to go ahead and get this parade out of my pocket. Here comes the parade. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, Oh, it was a middle finger. It was my middle finger. It's a middle finger. It was my middle finger. It wasn't a parade after all. So I guess what happened. Wow, Brett, I would love to hear your reaction to that.

At this point, I feel like I'm numb to it. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, right. You got freaking roasted. Oh, yeah, okay. And Brett doesn't even care. You're knocking over headphones. They shouldn't be there.

I mean, I bought these chairs. They shouldn't be near the chair that I'm in. Cody! Cody. I forgot that you're an engineer and you know how to. He's hacked into the system. Cody, stop saying nonsense words into the show. Cody, do not do like in that movie Virtuosity where then you sort of become inside the system

and are able to say whatever crazy word you keep saying. I'll let you say it one more time and then you have to stop for the rest of the show. Baba boy. Okay, that's it. That is it, Cody. Stop for the rest of the show. Baba boy. Okay, that's it.

That is it, Cody. Now, let's talk about, we'll just do it like we would do with any other guest. Great. On the show. Okay. And so. Yes. Tell us.

It's different because of who you guys are, but. Tell us about, do you have a family? Yes, I have a family. No, you don't. Sam. Yes. Okay. you don't. Sam. Yes. Okay. That's right. For the sake of this exercise, tell us about your family.

Okay. I grew up in the Bay Area. I have two siblings, older brother, older sister. I have two parents. Give it a little. You've seen people do like a podcast, and so give it a little. Yeah, but generally you don't ask them this question. We always ask this question.

Is this Bay Area thing supposed to be some kind of gay joke? No, it's just a fact that that's where I'm from. I actually like those guys, so we don't make fun of them on here. I mean, they're just people. You might like them or not.

No, you should like them. You're supposed to like them. And I actually don't appreciate the attitude of like, you might like them or not. I mean, isn't that the actual fair way to look at it? Well, no, I actually don't think it is to say it's people who... Because I don't like some straight people. Well, if you are looking at civil rights and you're saying like black dudes, you're saying like, oh, well, you might like them or not. Not my business.

I'm staying at home while people are getting all blasted and wet from a fire hydrant. Right. I mean there were worse things going on then. Oh, please, Mr. History Boy. Than fire hydrants. Ohrants oh great here's the movie history boys again okay and that has been trying to get us to watch history boys after the podcast he keeps begging us hey guys if you don't have anything right after we're done recording can you watch history boys with me and now here we go again about, talk about your job doing our show.

Okay. Well, now I think, don't you think it's fair if Sam gets to talk a little bit? Sam, please. Don't you think that's fair for Sam to talk? I know it's the Brett show. I'll just say I'm lead engineer. I'll just say that. And you guys sometimes treat me as if I'm not lead.

Well, I've asked Jeff Ulrich what that title actually means, and he actually said that it's not really that meaningful of a title. It's really not that meaningful. To be like lead engineer. You admitted it. Basically, so I'm saying it's okay to go through me and then to Sam. But isn't it fair to let Sam talk now? I mean, God, Legionnaire is

being the world's fattest skinny guy. Yes, it is like being the world's fattest skinny guy. Okay, Sam. Answer the question, I guess. I don't even know what it was. It was talk about your job doing our show.

It's great. I love it. There's some pros, some cons. Brett makes everything go through him, which demeans me. Every email says Sam, I work for lead engineer Brett. But I get to meet comedy idols. It's good. So Brett's a mean boss. Not necessarily.

It's just a lot of unnecessary stuff. I just want credit. That's all I'm asking for. But a lot of this stuff is things that he's not there for. Every outgoing email comes from Sam at Earwolf under Lead Engineer Brett. That's not interesting. When he says talk about doing the show, he means talk about us. Yeah.

Doing our show and that side of your job. We know Brett. Doing our show. That's what people want to hear. And that side of your job. We know Brett's a mean boss. We know Brett's a mean boss. And that's why. We know that you have to do emails. Eventually going to destroy him. But for now, talk about what's doing our show and what that's like.

It's great. I've met a lot of new people on the forums. Everyone loves you. Everyone is loves you? Yeah, no one treats me badly. It's great. Oh, Sam. And now it seems like, this is what it seems like to me,

is that you liked the attention you were getting the first time you said it, and now you're being a bad baby. Shit. And it almost makes me want and almost makes me want to ask cody what his take on all this is yes i would actually be interested in to hear sort of cody's side of the story so if we could turn cody's mic up for a second oh cody cody enough Cody! Enough! It was funny the first time, okay? And I know I got mad, but I can admit it is funny once to say something silly and crazy. And even I've been guilty of that before.

I've said a crazy word. It is a funny sound. Yes, whatever it is. But enough's enough. This many times, now it's gotten absurd. but this many times now it's gotten absurd and now it's at the point where it's actually very disrespectful and it's making me want to take away some of your privileges and guess whether your mic is off it is yes it is for good now brett yes Brett. Yes. You can edit that out.

How big of a treat? What's the biggest treat? Yes, what's the biggest treat? About being here right now. Because think about it, Brett. You're supposed to be an engineer. When you think about it, you're supposed to be an engineer, Brett. When you think about it, you're supposed to be the engineer and you get to be a guest. How many engineers ever get to do that?

None. Think about that, Brett. You're supposed to be an engineer. Okay, and you get to be the guest today. You are the guest of the whole show. The whole thing? And isn't it nice? We're not doing any other guests except the engineers today.

You're the only guest for the whole show. We're not doing any other guests except the engineers today. You're the only guest for the whole show. Well, the biggest treat then is being here, being able to voice my opinion. Yes, you get to talk about your opinions, what you were saying about Ben Schwartz and black people. I didn't. And that's why you've chosen to use this platform you have now for. And we're finding out a little bit why a lot of engineers aren't guests, because a lot of them are making fun of gay guys, even though those guys are actually great.

They're making fun of black people, even though those guys are actually equal. And they're making fun of Ben Schwartz, even though he's actually on House of Lies. And it seems like you don't realize that. I didn't do any of those things. Can we just kind of start over with me? Yes. I feel like it's just. I didn't do any of those things. Can we just kind of start over with me? I feel like it's just I didn't do any of that. You want another low start over, except I would like another clean slate? We'll do a clean slate, except I think you deserve it

to have the middle finger stay up there on the record. Yeah, it's been up the whole time. And so the middle finger, you're still getting a middle finger. I see it. I see it, Sean. And so the middle finger, you're still getting a middle finger. I see it. I see it, Sean. And that's a reminder. And B, think

your lucky stars, Brett. You're not getting a super finger right now. What's a super finger? Don't even

ask, Brett. Please, Brett. Because you truly do not want to know what a super finger is. You do not want that kind of heat coming in. Do you know what that is?

No, I'm not sure. Put your mic on. No, I kind of. Put your mic on. Put your mic on. And tell him whether you know what a superfinger is. Because, trust me, you do not want to. I remember something that was like a big, Dane Cook's.

Oh, yes. Oh, so you do know what it is. Okay, so you may actually have a very clear idea what the super finger is. Yes. And Brett's pretty close to finding out, too, what it means when you get one straight to the dome. Are you about to do it? You're, like, backing up a little bit.

Well, you don't want me to get a head start on it. I'll tell you that much. I kind of do. I don't have I have no idea what it is. Please. With enough of a wind up, a super finger would end you. Wait, did you just, what did you just say? Is it just two middle fingers? What do you mean

just? Is it just two middle fingers? Is it just twice as bad as the original one? That doesn't even make sense. Is it only... Being called super finger and then it's two fingers. Because it looks like one big one, Brett! So you put it together like that.

It looks like one massive one. No, it looks nothing like what you just did. No, it's not that. It's not connecting your two middle fingers on both hands. It's doing it with one hand. I knew that's what he thought. So it looks like one big one. Please, Brett. Act like you is doing it with one hand. I knew that's what he thought. So it looks like one big one. Please, Brett.

Act like you know what it is. Okay. You don't even deserve one. I don't deserve one. You're not worth it. You're right. Because it's hard to do. I don't feel like I deserve one. Because it's hard to do and it does.

You have to use your other hand. It hurts my hand. And so that's the main reason you're not getting one. You have to kind of bend your fingers into shape, and you're certainly not worth the time. Brett, who are some of the best people you've met? Best people I've met? Well, you two, of course. Okay.

I'm very – Yes, go on. I really like this show. I've been a big fan for it for a long time oh wow you were murdering Sam when he misspoke

and now you go I've been a big fan for it of a long time you did crush Sam you murdered him and now Sam gets to crush you and now with your own weapon it's been turned against you Sam turn up your mic super loud And now Sam gets to crush you. And now with your own weapon, it's been turned against you. Sam, turn up your mic.

Yeah. Super loud. Okay. And use Brett's own blade to slit his throat. Okay. And use his hand and say you're slitting yourself. Oh, what was that word you said? That was good, Sam.

That was good, yeah. You did a really good job. And what Brett's learning is when you point a super finger at someone else, there's three super fingers pointing back at you. And that is an important lesson. Yes. In a way. Okay, best people I've met. Sinbad coming in the other day was great.

That was awesome. Sinbad coming in the other day? Yes. Okay, well, Sam, let's not. Sam, take it easy and go outside for five minutes. Tenacious D came in the other day. That was a lot of fun. What did they?

They were coming in to do our show, but we weren't here? It wasn't for this show. It was for Comedy Van Bain. Yeah. Oh, cool. Oh, I love that the show how they do the richard simmons came in once wait i'm not done how they do the riddles and the and like what do they do

oh yeah because i don't even know they do the even know. They do the one with the riddle. They do TV. Yeah, they do the TV. Do you want to know? Because I work on that show all the time. Yeah. What are some of the stuff they do? Yeah, what is it?

They do, like, Would You Rather. Yeah, they do. Riddle Me This. Yeah, that's the one. They do that one. It's a lot of fun actually what am i thinking that's a good one they haven't done that how's that one go we can play that yeah i know that it's so great and we like it so much i'm great at it yeah you know how to play it if you like it so much let's play yeah everyone loves it let's play it's not like every only

one person can play that game anyone's true anyone can. Anyone can do it. They don't own that. Yeah. Okay, so you start out by saying, how do you start? You just start by throwing out a random word, right? One, two, three. No, yeah, yeah. On the count of three, we would each say one. Right.

Yeah. Right. Okay, so you guys are going to do it? Does everyone do it at once? Sure. Okay, fine. We'll do it right now. Okay.

Sam, are you in it? Yeah, Sam, yes. We'll do it right now. Sam, are you in it? Yeah, Sam. Sam, get back in here. Sam can be in it too. And we just say. What about Cody? Yeah, Cody's in it too. And so Sam counts down and we just say a word.

I'm actually unfamiliar with it. We each just say one word? Yeah, so you count down. Okay, you say one word. We'll just do it. Sam, you'll catch on. Then you associate with that word for the next word. Sorry. Sam's going to catch on. Then you'd associate with that word for the next word. Sam's going to catch on. I just don't think he'll get it.

Okay. Who's counting? I'll do it. Okay. One, two, three. Mababooey. Oh, wait. Wait, Brett, what did you say? Yeah, what'd you say, Brett? I said carnival. No, not carnival, Brett.

Come on. was everyone that word was bad cody's in big trouble sean you're okay i think i got infected by whatever cody's got and so what's happening now so two people said baba booey i said carnival yeah Sam didn't say anything. I got nervous. Hayes, I don't even know what you said. I said mad. I'm supposed to say. You said mad? Yes, it's what I'm thinking.

That's better than getting nervous than doing what you did. Carnival? What is that? I said the letter M hearing that, and then I just stopped. Now, Hayes is mad. That makes sense. Yeah. Cody.

And Sean's infected. I've been infected by whatever Cody has. Some sort of. Now I'm worried that it's some kind of illness he's got. Because I haven't heard him say anything other than that for a couple of days. No. Just that and the sneezing. Which, give me a break.

So, I mean, usually it goes a little faster than this. Well, it's because you're not explaining what the next thing is. Okay, so the next thing is we take all those words in our minds and then we say another word that connects all of them together. So what's the common thread? On the count of three, this is the game. And then you win when you all say the same word. When everyone says the same word. It's pretty fun when you actually do it right.

Okay, so we want to find the thing that... Mad carnival, baba booey, baba booey, and M, and then getting nervous. You can't say any of those again. It has to be a new word. Yes, of course. Who's counting? I'll do it. Okay.

One, two, three. Baba booey, mad carnival. i just don't think well i did it what did you say brett what did you say brett i said inappropriate oh god what you don't normally have to well it has nothing to do with any of the other words it was an inappropriate word to say exactly that's why i did it because i thought all the other responses were inappropriate that last time. Please. And mine is putting all the words together. And what did you say?

I was willing to meet Brett halfway. I said carnival. Yes. And so he said a different word. That's against the rules, though. I thought we – But he didn't say – And Sam didn't say anything again.

I did. I said clown. Oh. What does that have to do with Baba Booey or mad? It's like an angry clown who's at the carnival. His name's Baba Booey. Okay. I understand.

Does that sound like a good clown name to you? And Sam, you're doing a very good job. Thank you. Sam's actually crushing. And I wonder if Sam should be lead engineer one of these days. But then what would I be? I would go even higher. You'd be in a ditch.

You would go even higher? Yeah, right. You'd be even lower in the bottom of a ditch. Hayes just said that. So that's the real game? That is the real game. And people like that show? Well, they haven't played it for a while.

And you're just saying words? What's the other one? Riddle Me This. That's one that you were mentioning. Yeah, that's the riddle one. And then what's the other one? Would You Rather. How's that one go?

Generally, somebody sends Scott something on Twitter, a scenario. Would you rather have like lobster claws or would you rather? Or you have to roll everywhere to get there. You got to lie down and roll there. Yeah. Or would you rather have jelly from a jelly donut coming out of your fingers? And you just pick one? Or would you rather your head's a balloon and you're in outer space?

There's a discussion. You're able to ask him questions. He knows the answer to every question. And then you pick at the end. Or would you rather you're a bunch of pancake batter? Or do you want to, you'd rather you're a poster of pancake batter? I mean, it's really is. It really is because even when you pick one, you don't get to do it.

It's nothing that would ever Even happen Did you hear me? Yes, that's what I'm saying I'm following up on what you said And I'll even do one right now Engineer Sam So Would you rather your whole body

Is just a Bunch of honey Or would you rather your whole body's just a bunch of honey, or would you rather you got to live in a jar and your dad hits the jar with a hammer? And he just picks? I guess the honey. You can ask questions, right? You guess the honey?

Yeah, okay. And that's a whole game, and that's it? All right, if I can ask questions. All right. If I'm the honey, I can still go about and do my day, like my daily things. Right? I'm not in any sort of pain. I mean, if your daily things is being honey.

Or if I'm in the jar, there's no limited air. What is this? What's happening? This is what they do? That's a whole show? This is the entire show. It's not the whole show. It's one segment.

There's more of this? This is a show. This is the main show? It's the biggest show on this network. That's the big show. I mean, they get... I'm not going to go into the numbers, but... They're doing...

Go right! Not now, Cody. Not now. He's controlling now, Cody. Not now. He's controlling the system with his mind now. I can see him. He's closed his eyes and he's inside the wires. God, he's become so powerful. Now...

I hate how powerful Cody's gotten. Can I just say that? Everyone says that. He's gotten extremely powerful and I don't like it at all. It's gotten. Can I just say that? Everyone says that. He's gotten extremely powerful and I don't like it at all. It's alarming. He's not even sitting here and his voice keeps... He's in the wires. I despise Cody.

Now, let's do the... Okay. What's next? We'll do the popcorn gallery. Are we already towards the end? Well, we'll see. We'll see. What we just did, that's a show.

Popcorn Gallery. Okay, and so we do the Popcorn Gallery. Wait, Hayes. What we just did, that would be a show. That's what I'm saying. And I'm trying to ask that. Sam, could you confirm that? Do you know that show?

No, it's much shorter than a normal show. Well, that's it. It's just a long that. They do more of that? It's just more of that show? We did a little show? I thought you meant of this show. This is shorter

of this show. No. No, Sam. We're saying the thing that we did before with the game. Would you rather be a styrofoam cup or your grandpa's a tissue box? And that's the whole other show, the comedy show? Oh, no. There's a whole bunch more. They have a guest and they talk.

Well, that's part of the thing. I mean, I don't think that they're just doing it silently, playing the games. I know there's a guest and they're talking, but that's what they talk about. They talk about, would you rather have a beard or a drink of water? Well, they do the same things, but it goes on because the people can do it better. Better than who? What are you talking about? I'm saying I feel like the guests can do it better. Like I feel like I did big. Better than who? What are you talking about? I'm saying I feel like the guests can make the game going.

Ben Schwartz is great at it. He's been on it a bunch. Oh, now you're sucking up to him. Now you're sucking up to him because you know you love him so much. He's definitely not listening anymore, and he's probably on his way over here right now to beat your butt, and he could do that. And would you rather use a boxing glove or frigging wooden paddle?

I would think a wooden paddle maybe in that situation. Well, the answer is you don't get to choose. But you're definitely going to get pounded for sure. And you don't get to choose how. Yeah, and unfortunately you don't get to choose and he does. That's riddle me that. That's not riddle me that. That's would you rather.

Like I said, you don't get to choose what it is because you're in a ditch. Can we start over? Yes. I think that's a good idea. That would be better. Let's start over and we'll... Time for the Popcorn Gallery.

And you guys get to ask each other a question. I don't know. You ask Sam a question, Brett. I'm going to ask Sam a question. Sam, what do you do besides engineer here? Restore old motorcycles. It's pretty much around the other hobby. Like comic books.

Comic books? Mm-hmm. You do that? Yeah, I read comic books. You just know we like comic books, and you're trying to act like you like comic books, too. And just be honest. And don't try to make it cool, like be cool like we are

because we're cool nerds. No, I'm not. Just do what you actually like, and you wouldn't know a comic book if it came up and hit you in the butt with a wooden paddle. And you're never going to learn to ride a motorcycle, Sam. I'm sorry. I'm just saying it. You're never going to get them to work. No, I really do.

No. They're in pieces on the floor, and you're never going to figure out how they go together. It's too many pieces, Sam. It's too many pieces. It's not like a puzzle, and you're never going to figure out how they go together. It's too many pieces, Sam. It's too many pieces. It's not like a puzzle, which you're also very bad at, okay? It's a machine, and so you need all the pieces to do all the parts. No, I really do. You can ride them after you put them together?

Yeah. I restore old bikes, mostly old Cafe Racers. Can Brett have one, Sam? Can I have one? No. Then you must be lying. Okay, so he's covering up. You just have a bunch of old bikes.

No, it's just another job. People will pay me to restore old bikes and restore them to how they looked. Well, Sam just got called out, and so now it's Sam's turn, and he gets to ask Brett a question. What happened to that band you were playing in? Well, nobody knows what that is. When I first started here, you were playing in a band. Are you still in that band?

That band's kind of on hiatus right now because Earwolf has taken all my time, including this show. Now everyone's uncomfortable. Now everyone's uncomfortable. Sam, why did you do this? I don't know. That's kind of a personal thing. I keep getting? I know. That's kind of a personal thing. I keep getting waves of nervousness.

It's kind of a personal question that I didn't think I was going to answer. Oh, what a chore. I have to come in here and meet celebrities. I've been producing. I've been – And be a part of something that's really big, and so I don't get to screw around. Nothing I've ever done has ever gone as badly as this. I'm a

hit maker, you understand? When I touch something, it's gold. And when I decide to do you knuckleheads a favor and say, okay, be the guest, I'm not gonna cool down. Would you ask me a question? What?

Would I ask you a question? Yeah. Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with you? You you... Would you ask me a question? Would I ask you a question? Yeah. Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with you? This isn't going well. Huh? You did ask him to ask you a question. Why are you fucking me like this? You trying to embarrass me, huh? No.

That's a question. No. Is this funny to you? Is this fun for you? No, I'm genuinely nervous. To see me fail? Because it's not going to come down on me. No, I truly imagine it.

I got a track record in this town. Yes, and it is true. You got another thing coming if you think that this is going to come down on me. I got a track record in this town. Yes, and it is true. You got another thing coming if you think that this is going to come down on us because this was actually your big chance, and you got to be the guest, and this is what you did. Just think about this is what you decided to do. Yeah, so that's our question. I'm sorry you feel that way.

I don't feel like I've had any chance to even be myself okay well here it is here's your chance you guys it's brett time this is a segment that we do it's called brett being himself and this is the one that everyone loves this is what everyone's tuning in yeah it's it's uh number one with a bullet see you later would you rather have a riddle now it's going to be brett time being himself time and so let's go starting now um i'd like to plug uh some albums i've been working on this show is over It's over Listen to us on iTunes And talk to us on the forums And

What's What's the prize For the pro version Oh the greatest prize anyone could get Brett's gonna be himself again Yeah Brett you get to be yourself again Who won it Who won it this week

I don't know We want to punish You get to be yourself again. Who won it? Who won it this week? I don't know. Let's think of someone we want to punish. Yeah, who should be punished for the way they behave? Feels like we could punish... Chanson is always deserving of a big punishment. Yes, I'd like to see him get a good punishment. So Chanson, you can buy Howard Kramer's album that I produced. It's called Some of This, Some of That.

It's out right now. You can feel free to buy it. It's a great reward. What do they do in that show? That's actually not a show. You mean Howard's show? Yes, obviously that's what I mean. Yes, on that

show what do they do they count down the music and movies charts and uh they just count them one two three i mean is this really a show it is a whole show they talk about the music and movies that they're talking about oh this one sounded good oh this one didn't sound good are we doing something is this what we should be doing this is the messaging that they're talking about. Oh, this one sounded good. Oh, this one didn't sound good. Are we doing something? Is this what we should be doing? This is the messaging that I'm getting because sometimes I look at the views or the listens for these other shows

and this is what... Brett? It's just a tone. It's a tone thing. I'm just asking you to watch your tone. The information, okay, but not necessarily the way you give it and i'm and i'm what i'm hearing is this is what you want you want counting

and you just want to be counting oh this number five sounded good but number four sounded not as good oh this is what you want then you know i feel like you guys are defensive i didn't even say you had to do that i I'm just describing what they do. Well, that's what you want. That's not what I want. Who else is someone we want to punish by Sam being himself? Oh, yeah. Sam's going to be himself for you.

We could always punish. Maybe we could punish Hug Life for just not being around for so long. Yes, Hug Life disappeared. Yes, let's punish hug life okay hug life i guess he has to how would i do that well you just be yourself for a second in the way brett did oh um i guess i'd like to plug something i did uh that only helps me um yes well he's saying that that's what you did and he's right.

He's right. He's actually, yes. He's crushing it. I'd like to plug the album where the money just goes to me. Yes. That's what you're supposed to do when you plug something. Once again, he's disarmed you and taken your blade and he sliced you with your own blade, Brett. That is what he did.

We'll talk about that, Sam. Are you sure no one has any questions? I feel like that was fucked up. You had the chance to be yourself, and you fucked me. I got extremely nervous for the first 40 minutes, and now that it's wrapping up, I'm finally ready. Does anyone have any questions or anything? Bye.

Bye. This has been an Earwolf Media production. Bye. The Wolf Dead.