Hollywood Handbook - BriTANicK, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: September 15, 2014

Sean and Hayes talk video games and reveal their gamer tags. Then, the world's only sketch comedy duo BRITANICK is in the studio to talk about their computer closet, the secrets behind being a good wingman, dragons, and how to sit on a barstool. Then, the Popcorn Gallery is back to ask about getting half the doughsef, kissing each other, and juggling priorities.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Smash all their ant farms. Ant farms, yes. But everyone would say, like, do not, you know, it's funny. Warren would come up to him and be like, it's a really funny bit. Just leave on a gas tire's ant farm alone. And, you know, it's finesse. And so he's like, I gotta destroy that. Oh, if you tell him not to press that button, he's pressing that button. And so... The button is in this instance in a gas tire's ant farm. Ant farm, and he, you know, last I heard, he says, I'm going to go destroy this Ant Farm.

He goes into her office. Oh, gosh. I can't. And he just never comes out. I miss. For Anna, she's doing something with those ants that I think is kind of like against nature. Yes, in terms of what she has them how she uses them and what she's done to them they're so large and they well they're not even

technically ants anymore no i mean they are definitely still kinds of bugs. Mm-hmm. But should ants be able to have those horns? Yeah. And I almost think when you watch her last few seasons on the show, they were starting to control her a little bit. Where, like, all the sketches are about, like, spilling, someone spilling their soda.

Yeah, spilling sugar. And howilling someone spilling their soda yeah spilling yes spilling sugar or and how everyone should go spill their soda yes or leaving a beetle carcass just very close to you know uh the anthill in the middle of the floor yeah if you think about that that makes it easier on them for carrying the beetle car they don't have to carry it as far it's closer to the anthill yes i made that connection as well. Hey! Welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names of the red carpet linebacker always of this industry we call showbiz.

What up, what up? And we want to talk about something today that's very important to both of us. First, for people looking at the pictures of this episode, you should know, yes, Hayes has a big bushy beard, and yes, it is because he is going to play Will Ferrell in the movie of that episode of the Bear Grylls show where Will Ferrell went to hang out with Bear Grylls.

Yes, I'm gonna be, and as you remember, he had a large beard in that episode because he was in nature. In the outdoors. Yes. It's a rich story that a celebrity went on a survival outdoors show, and that's enough of a jumping off point. For a movie. For a film, yes.

Yes. And so that's very exciting, and getting my body in the right place. And what else do we want to talk about today well one thing i want to talk about and i think it's a big part of the world and the planet right now and so entertainment is also involved because this a piece of that is that it is time for having so much video games and they're huge sean and i are big time, and in this case we mean video games, but when you think about it, isn't everything is gaming? Well, this is great for you to say that everything is gaming,

because if you're thinking about it, and video games is almost movies now because of how much moving pieces and characters and stories yes and you look at it and you think about the future of movies and what like when you go to the movies years from now and you think about how kids were they're growing up with a controller in their hand they're always holding a controller yes and so're expecting, they want to go to the movies and they just want to say, I need to be able to control these characters to enjoy the movies. Well, and when I was seeing the movie Gravity, I was sitting with my little cousin Sam, and he was getting so frustrated because he was trying to fly the Sandra Bullock ship around the screen and crash it into a star or try to blow up an alien with it.

And it wasn't going the way he pointed his controller because the movie already had made her go a different way and you could only watch it. And that's not video games for these guys but and it is changing it is moving in that direction where increasingly your gamer handle is sort of what you use and more of like your regular wife it can be a real escape for me to almost become another kind of guy when I'm doing video games. And when I'm being my handle, then it's almost as if I'm a whole new person. And it's like when I'm doing my actings and I'm doing my character. And this is a character I can play at home, and if I want to call somebody a mean name. Yes. Or shoot them in the butt with a bazooka.

Or race them fast. This is the kind of stuff you can do. And do you want to say what your gamer handle is, and then they can find you on the video game? Well, I'm a little scared because part of me almost wants... A lot of people are going to want to challenge you to a race. Yes, but part of the fun for me is the anonymity that I feel when I go on there

that people go, they know who, oh, I almost said it. Why don't you do this? Why don't you do this? Why don't you say your gamer tag, but change the numbers? Okay. Okay. Hang on.

I have to think of one. Thug Queen 69. Thug Queen 69. That's a different number. Oh, I was supposed to change the numbers. Well, anyway, it's out there now. But for me, I kind of like the idea that people want to play against Thug Queen 69, but they don't know that it's actually a Hollywood guy who's a big movie deal.

They just think it's some Thug Queen. Yeah, I totally get that. Do you want to tell us your gamer handle as well? Mine is Hayes Davenport Baseball. Mine is Hayes Davenport Baseball atol.com, which they don't say. When you're doing it, they don't say how it's different from online. No, they don't tell you that you don't have to have an email part to it. Yes.

And of course, now that I have it, now everyone's telling me. And it's like, where were you when I was setting it up? And it's forever. Yeah. Well, no, you can't change it because you have a lot of your rankings and your star points on it. So to get back to video games is movies. Yes. Some of our favorite games.

We play Pokemon, which has been movies. Yes. Minecraft is going to be movies. And it was already, it's based on the craft. Mm-hmm. From the witch movie. And it's based on yours craft from the witch movie. And it's based on yours, mine, and ours. Yeah. It just smashed up two movies together.

Those characters. They do something called smash-ups sometimes where they combine two different stuff. And so that's just a smash-up movie. It just becomes a video game, and then it goes back to movie. And you start Minecraft, and you can pick your character. You can be Robin Tunney, or you can be...

Farooza Balk. Well, you can't be Farooza Balk, because she won't let you be her. Yes, she's the bad guy at the end. She's too scary. She's the bad guy at the end. You try to pick her, and she says, oh, you think you could be me?

She goes, you can't sit with us. And that is on her shirt. And then I also think that it's going to be very fun when Snood becomes a movie. Yes, the Snood movie. The Snood movie, which we've all kind of been waiting for. I love to see a good Snoovy. These are some of the games that is movies that we play, and those are our gamer tags.

And I guess it's exciting the landscape of video game movies, everything. The only thing I worry about is with some of these games, like Contra, are we becoming insensitive to violent people? Yes, because with Contra, what the message of Contra is, are all these guys trying to shoot you, violent guys. And so you're going through trying to shoot all the violent people in the world and destroy violence. And guns, everything. Yes, to pick up all the guns and so no one else can have them.

Yeah, exactly. Which, again, is like a movie. That's Lord of War with Nicolas Cage. And he becomes the boss. And he gets all the guns. And then, sure, there's no more war. But then what are we going to do about frigging ISIS? Yes. Yes.

Yes. And that guy who wins can be ISIS if you want. Yes. And then he's ISIS. And that message, I think, can be pretty damaging because some of the people playing this is just kids. And so for kids to be playing and basically becoming a guy who may or may not be ISIS at the end of the game. Mm-hmm. ISIL?

They say the both of them. They do it so it's hard to catch them. They'll change the last letter. Can we get all the news on one phone right now? Just say, okay, let's all decide what we're going to say because sometimes one word from one news guy to another is just like completely has a different letter in it. Like ISIL, ISIS, icicle, bicycle, bisis, frisis, ricin if you watch Breaking Bad. I mean, at this point, I'm just like, okay, let's all agree before we go on TV and Sean's trying to get educated on this stuff. And I guess this is a good time to talk about, you know, some people are a little bit mad at us because we sold a movie to ISIS, which, you know, what if we taught them a good lesson? They're still human beings.

Yes. And if ISIS is listening, turn off this right now. But if, okay, if you're not ISIS you can listen to this part did you ever think that maybe the movie we sold them is actually

like part of our spy work to actually it's a trick that we sold them that yes and we get them to watch the movie but sometimes movies can

contain codes and that's all I'm gonna say and maybe the movie and I don't want to ruin too much, but maybe there's one part that's so good, that's so interesting. And we know it is because we wrote it so good and we actually acted in it. That they'll be so locked in that we know that they won't be able to hear anyone else coming. I don't fear anyone else coming. And say, and just say, just say that all of ISIS is in the same theater. They're all in the same theater, same time.

And then what if that theater became a jail? Then that's all I'm going to say. And I'm not saying anything else. All of a sudden the theater can be a jail. And it turns into a jail. So anyway, ISIS can turn back on the podcast now. We got some great guests today. It's two dudes.

Yes, two good dudes. And it's Brightanic. And they're a comedy duo. And they're going to come in and probably perform some of their famous routines on Hollywood Handbook. So he's sort of throwing it back and forth, spinning it around. And I'm like, Jeff Conaway, that's an expensive award. Like, I can't just replace an Oscar if you drop it, you know it in the piranha tank and he goes, oh yeah, did you win

this for directing a film or something? And I go, well I didn't get it in a friggin' Cracker Jack box. And he was laughing so hard at that. Yeah. And then when I looked at it, it wasn't mine.

Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook Insiders Guide to Kicking Button Dropping Names in the Red Carpet Lying Back. Well, it's so much harder for me to do it when you're doing it at the same time. Oh, I thought it would be kind of a neat thing. No, because I like to be hearing someone else saying it at the same time. Like a Phil Spector sort of wall of sound. No, I don't think that's the effect of it at all. And if it were. Well, you don't know because you're not a listener.

If you wanted to do that, you could say it separately and we could lay it over my saying. Okay. I am saying it separately. No, that's not separately at all. It's at the same time. Just because you're a different person. I'm still an individual. Yeah.

We have a great guest today. Britannic is here. What up, what up? Hey, guys. Hi. And you know these guys, and they're a comedy duo. And what I think is,

you guys, you do online. That's right. We do online. We do it. We do in person as well. Yes. Really? Yes. Really. Yes.

And what I think is so great about the duo stuff, it's such a throwback to all the vaudeville routines that you used to see. And that's some of the stuff that makes me just like – you talk about just like having a great laugh and that's, it's some of the funniest stuff I think still today is those old routines. And we do see a lot of very selfish standup comedians and they're doing it and they just have a mic and it's one guy. And I think I've laughed even harder at some of the combinations of

comedians. And it's guys like Martin and Lewis, you know, Martin Lawrence and Lewis Black when they would do their sort of stuff. I'm trying to even think of who else. But none of them on computers, though. No, and you guys were the first to do it on computers. I believe we're the only ones in the game currently. I've never Googled another YouTube sketch comedy duo, so I don't know if they exist. I hope they don't.

I think there's individuals doing stuff on computers, but I don't know that it ever gets plural. No, I haven't seen this. Is all your jokes about computers? Yes. Yeah, it's mostly we're sort of of a computer based sketch comedy troupe. If you'd like to hear some of our computer jokes. I just don't, I mean, if we're on a computer, I don't know

how to talk about really much else. Like, it feels like you're avoiding the elephant in the room. Yeah. Yes, it would be very distracting for someone to talk about, you know, eating a hamburger sandwich or just anything mundane when they're on a computer.

We had a hamburger sandwich sketch that we could not break. We tried so hard. And then we were like, well, why don't we just sort of- Well, you have to do it at a restaurant. Well, yeah, exactly. But then we're at a restaurant, but if people were watching it and we're at a restaurant, then halfway through the sketch, they'd be like, but I'm watching this on a computer and they're not freaking talking.

No, you're not listening to me, Brian. a computer and they're not freaking talking. No, you're not listening to me, Brian. You do the sketch in the restaurant. You film it there. You perform it there. You can't perform it on the computer. I'm agreeing with you.

Oh, I'm sorry. Just take it easy, Brian. We need this. We need this to go well. Is Sean mad at me? Yes, he's fucking pissed. All right. I'm going to distance myself from you. Do some recon for me throughout this.

Okay. Thanks, buddy. So does you guys have two computers? Do we have two computers? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, well, there's two of us, so we need two to really make it work. Yeah.

Sean, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about what happened with you and Brian earlier. I don't care. Yeah, me neither. Hey, Nick, can you tell him that I like how his sunglasses are hanging off his V-neck? No, man. No, come on. Do it for me. Work it in.

If you're going to do it, you do it, okay? I'll do it. Just give me some time. Okay. So when you're having two computers, I mean, where do you keep all those things? We have a computer closet. Yeah. This is good.

Scoop Troop. Speak on that, please. Okay. Well, it's sort of this giant closet we found in Nick's house. And we had to remove a bunch of, I mean, do we want to talk about it? You found it. Where was it? In the closet?

It was actually, it's one of those basement closets. Like it's in the floor. Yeah. And it's a very large, large closet. Almost about the size of a room. But you go down steps to enter it. Some people call it our basement, but we call it a basement closet. A basement closet because it's in the floor.

It's in the floor. Yeah. And it was filled with water and grime and we found someone else. We found some woman down there and we told them, get out of there. Yeah. And they're gone and now we put our computers there and they're just two Apple laptops. And that's where we keep them when we're not doing comedy with them. Oh.

To double back real quick, one thing we forgot is to tell every other Earwolf podcast to get way, way down there and suck on these. Yes, I'm sorry. This first time Bright Tank has ever been on an Earwolf podcast. No one else could get them. And respectfully, all the other Earwolf podcasts should descend to their knees and suck on these. And yes, and please open your mouth so, so wide because you are going to have to suck on these. And what are some of the Earwolf podcasts that have to do it right now? Well, there's the U2 one and you two guys are going to need to suck on these two guys.

Mm-hmm. And that's me and Hayes. These two guys. Mm-hmm. And that's me and Hayes. And I'm just trying to think if there's another podcast in particular that really needs to suck on these. Ah, The Wolf Den. Yeah.

Well, Den, why don't you get down there and just go ahead and just go ahead and suck on these. Okay. And so everybody sucked on these and now we can. Is that all of the podcasts in the Earwolf Network? Those are the big two. Gotcha. Those are the two that have kind of been giving us the side eye. And just we let them know we saw it. That's great.

Well, I think you guys got them back. And, Sean, I think that was a great joke you had. And I love the way your sunglasses are sort of hanging off your shirt there. Okay. So. Okay. So. Okay. Fucking idiot. What?

I'm coming. Fucking idiot. It was desperate, and it sounded, you're just throwing everything at the wall. I waited like three minutes, so it didn't seem like. We'll wait longer next time. These guys keep going under the table, which I think is, like, it's a duo thing. Yes. Sorry about that.

We're back. Is there something under there? Well, you know, it takes a lot of work to be a duo. It's like people always think that our quote-unquote genius just sort of comes off the top of our heads, but we have to go. Like at parties, we have to run into rooms or under tables and figure out what we want to say. Who are you quoting when you say genius? Oh, geez.

Well, you know, there's comments on uh on the internet oh great and uh and a lot of them have said that word um may do you could you uh speak on some of the names of some of the commenters well there's risque business uh risque business and that's i just uh there's a couple different risky businesses but this one is spelled with k-a-y and then b-i-z and then there's a bunch of I just, there's a couple different risky businesses, but this one is spelled with K-A-Y and then B-I-Z in the essence. And then there's a bunch of variations on that. There's Butterfan. Butterfan and all the variations of that as well.

Butterfan 55, Butterfan 62. There's Go America, Go, Go, Go. There's Reese's Pieces, Mises, Mises Nieces. There's the official Reese's Pieces account. Reese's Pieces Mises Mises Nieces There's the official Reese's Pieces account Reese's Pieces account? Which is the knockoff of Reese's Pieces The corporate account There's the Barnyard

Lanyards Association Oh that's a really funny singular guy who does comedy on computers Mostly relating to barnyards but also also, you know, he does, he talks about computers as well. Oh. And that's it.

Those are the ones we can think of just off the top of our head. Yeah. Do you ask that question because you don't believe that someone's ever called us that? No, I just like to hear funny names. Oh, okay. Now, one thing that I think we never expected to happen is we did this show and we want to tell people about Hollywood. But we wound up kind of talking to people about life.

Yeah. kind of talking to people about life and a lot of our listeners are struggling and a lot of them are in a tough place uh relationship wise in terms of not being able to get girls we we were nerds we read comic books hey is the name a comic book guy the monster yes and so between the monster and all that stuff we were into it does feel like can we now give back and let some of these guys know about how to get girls in one great way I think is with a wingman. Oh, completely. I mean I don't relate to the not getting girls part. I don't. Well, it's because I'm a great wingman to you.

Well, sure. I mean I guess if you. Isn't that right? Yes. When you have a great wingman, you don't have to really worry about it. Yeah. I mean, I just have never – I've never received a no or a sad look or anything. You've never received a sad look?

No, I've never gotten a sad look. I've never made anyone sad. So, you know, it's hard for me to relate, but I can imagine. And it's nice that you not even – Brian, do you not let Nick know some of the things that you're doing for him behind the scenes? Are you sort of being like a... Are you kind of taking the brunt of some of the sad looks sometimes that we all get from girls? I think that's, you know, when you're a wingman, that's what you have to do. Like, you know, Nick, I don't want to burst your bubble, and I don't think it will, Nick.

I mean, you have a... My bubble's very strong, so it would be very difficult, I think. But, you know, as wingmanning for nick i've talked to girls and been like you know do you want to you want to do something with that guy and they've been like no fucking way and i i'm not gonna you know throw that over to nick i'll take that i'll be like you know i said i meant me do you want to do probably like me pretty some goes like the dragons the the warthogs the the shit faces, that type of thing. He talks about women like this sometimes to their face,

and I have to jump in and sort of save it. And calling them dragons, I think, that's the one for me that I think is actually very offensive because when you think about a dragon... The historical context there makes it even more nefarious. Yes, it is sort of. And it's a sensitive thing. And it's just not something that I think a lot of... I'm just saying this.

It's just me saying this. My respect for women, I wouldn't call them dragons and imply that they would ever destroy a village or... Or even be Japanese. I mean, you know, in terms of just... Well, I do want to be clear. I don't mean strictly Japanese dragons. I mean English dragons and underwater kinds as well.

Okay, okay. Okay, great. Well, so... Moving on. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's have an open dialogue about dragons. Okay, I think we've covered that topic.

And Hayes, you had something, yes? Yes. What was it? This was the girls. Wait. Uh-huh. I need to talk to Nick under the table for a second. Oh, inspiration.

Okay. Nick, what the fuck? The dragon thing, I think, turned Sean off. He just lost his mind. I'm not going to not be myself, Brian. Okay, that's all I have. I'm just saying, like, they asked us about girls, and I feel like we were on, like, good – Okay, I won't bring up dragons again.

Are they doing something to you under the table? Don't bring up dragons. I thought they were going to do something to me. But are they both on you? If dragons come up, I'm not going to hide my opinion. I thought that it must have been on you, and now it makes me wonder if they think Cody is one of us. They're sort of working Cody. I can't tell because the way his face looks.

I love you. It's sort of in that position all the time. Hey, we're back, guys. I'm sorry about that. Hey, what up, what up? Hey, guys. Thanks for being on the show. And when you go, let's just take it step by step where you go, you walk in the bar.

Right. And how do you guys present to the people that are there when you're, you know, you're going to like run some game on somebody. Yeah. Well, if you read this, there's a fascinating book called The Game Out There. And it's about how you basically play the game. And it works every single time, everything that they say in it. And the first thing is something called peacocking. We're big gamers.

You guys are gamers? Yeah, we're huge gamers. The first thing is peacocking is when you release a wild peacock into the bar. And so now there's danger in the bar. People are frightened. There's a live animal. And when people are frightened, what do they need? They need a hero. They need someone to remove the live peacock from the... You get to save somebody.

Right. Yeah. And we don't try... We bring air rifles, but we don't want to kill the peacock. If we have to, it has happened sometimes. We've never not killed the peacock, though. That's true, yeah. We don't – but we do it with a look of remorse. And it does happen pretty immediately, though. And it's not that – even with an air rifle, they've got that big shield.

Oh, it takes a long time. It takes a long time to kill a peacock. There's been some civilian casualties before. But you know what? That makes a great starting story. After the peacock is killed, maybe you shot someone in the leg. You at least have a conversation. That's a traumatic event.

You're both growing from that. You grow together. Yeah, maybe you guys have gauze or something. Yeah, maybe. And we don't, but we look like the guys that we're dressed, you know, as official sort of animal control medical people. So then, you know, after that happens, you know, the attention's on us, which is great. And then we sort of just kind of have our, you know, pick of the litter, as you will. We go up.

Often Nick will be the one who will make the first aggressive move. I will loudly yell out, I call that one. And if the girls know that, great. If not, that's where my wingman skills come in, and I have to sort of make sure she knows that Nick didn't try to objectify her, and then maybe I try to take the brunt of it, say that I yelled it, and then we move on from there, piece by piece. If you guys want to role play, say you're two women and you're interested in Nick,

we can show you how to do it. If you guys want to role play, say you're two women and you're interested in Nick, we can show you how to do it. For me, I like girls. And so that's not – and I totally think it's okay for other people who might like guys. I really like those guys. I think those guys are great. Yes.

Yes. Love them. And I think a lot of them are – And – Very talented. And, yes, they're very talented. Yes. Yes. Love them. And I think a lot of them are. And. Very talented. And, yes, they're very talented. Yes. And I think they're nice. And it's not a choice.

But I like girls. And so it would be very strange. I like girls as well. Yes. What if we had one of, Cody's here, and we could have Cody to sort of fill that role. Now, this is interesting. cody could do that so cody why don't you is your thing up okay and you just be your girl and you're if you could be it's usually a group of six to eight women yes and but you're horny please remember and with a big opportunity to do some role playing and please maximize your horniness. And you've just seen a peacock horribly die.

Horribly die. One of your friends was grazed by a bullet, but that's up to you. And don't reference that specifically, but it's just in the context thing. Oh my God. Oh, hello. Hey, I called this one. Oh, okay. How do you feel about that?

Did that animal just die? No. Well. Yeah, it did. Like 10 minutes ago, yeah, it died. We got it. You were in danger and we killed it with our weapons. You're welcome for that. How do you feel about that?

Jesus Christ. What? Yeah. What about us? Do you need any gauze? We might have some. God, I don't know. I don't know about this.

All right, it never goes like this. It never goes like this. It never... Can I just say, when I assigned Cody to do this, I will admit I was expecting it to go badly. And the fact that he was so unbelievably good at playing this character is truly shocking to me me and cody i owe you a big apology i feel like i set you up for failure and you did such a good job i think there was a there

was a slight misunderstanding because cody was playing a big old fucking just shit ditch or something like some real uggo a real fucking dragon. Okay, well, okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Well, I think what happened is, and correct me if I'm wrong, but Cody was upset about the bird got killed. Yes, and here's the thing. That's normally...

You run into that sometimes. That's not how it happens most of the time. Women often, they get over it. They're happy that we saved them from the peacock. I don't think that was great improv on Cody's part. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Cody. I know you differ from me.

He has a strange relationship with birds. Yes. I can tell. We all do a little bit. Which one of us do we think sounds most like a bird if we do a bird voice? Do you want to do the bird voices and see? Or do you want to guess beforehand and see who got it right? Well, let's guess beforehand.

I think it's me. I think it's Sean as well. I think Sean's going to have a great bird voice. I think it's Hayes, actually. And I don't want that. Real dark horse. Okay, I change my vote to Hayes. Just the face he made when he got mentioned.

But this is exactly what Sean wants now. When he's the underdog, and that's when he really... Well, who do you... It's the nobody believes in us phenomenon. So I'll say Sean. And so, Sean, I believe in you, and I think you're going to do a great job. Oh, I appreciate that. And then he gets lazy, and he'll fall asleep under a tree.

I also think one thing is just throw it away. Those, I mean, you go to the bar, and they have those seats right next to it. The tall seat? Yes. The stools next to the bar? Yes. Okay. The spinny seat.

Yeah, sometimes. But sometimes you try to spin on them and look out. Yes, watch out. You get a big rash from it. If you're trying to spin the whole night and it doesn't spin, I'll tell you what. The rash you can get from that. And if you're in jean shorts, which at the height that i you know cut them to you can really wind up yeah really bleeding pretty bad and those tall seats how do you how are you supposed to do them

well some people this is yeah this is kind of our specialty. You can kind of... We sort of travel school to school and talk about this, because it's a problem that a lot of people, there's not a lot of awareness of. No. Well, welcome to our classroom. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, those tall seats, they're a bummer.

They're bleeders, as you said. I think the first thing you want to do is you want to hop onto the seat. Because if you just sort of slide on like you do a chair, you can already start the rash in that sense. Yes. And sometimes because it doesn't have a back, sometimes you end up, if you try to slide on backwards, you just end up keep going all the way through. Exactly. And if you plop on, you don't get the rash.

And it looks kind of cool, too. It's like you're sort of doing a high jump and landing it perfectly or something. And if you do want a spinny seat, but you figured out after a couple of tries that you're not on one. It's not going anywhere, yeah. You can actually grab the bottom of the stool and sort of hold that close to you and then spin around yourself. That will accomplish a similar effect. So you're pulling it up. So it's off the ground. It's off of the ground. And then you can still

spin. Yeah. That's interesting. And it's a challenge to look relaxed while you're doing that. Relaxed, cool, like an easygoing guy who would be able to handle any type of wild bird that would enter. But often the bird is just dead by that point. At that point, the bird is usually dead.

This can be a good idea for how to sit down now. It really is. That's our whole goal. Please, take it. It's yours now. Mission accomplished. And it is really useful, and it could be dangerous, too. Are we doing bird voices, or did that just go by the wayside?

Oh, yes. Did we not do that? I thought we did do that. We guessed them, but we didn't do them. Oh, who won? Well, it was a dead tie between you and Hayes. In the preliminary guesses. Did we seriously not do?

I thought we just did the whole thing, and we did the voices. Tim, we do it, and it was, I thought it was, I thought it was very funny when we were doing it, doing all those play back the tape. Yeah, do you guys have? Can we play back the tape? Oh, it's time for the Popcorn Gallery. And this is a segment where we ask the questions,

and you know what it is. It's the Popcorn Gallery. Was that good? What did you think of that? In terms of your announcing of it? I loved it. Okay. What do you mean?

What are you looking for? I'm just asking if you thought it was good. I thought that was like a good way to do it. From now on, I just thought we would just do it like that. Yeah. Okay. Here's a question from a listener for the guys. And this is from Mean Detective.

And the question is, what is that like you get half the sweet dose of and you're just satisfied with that or what? Okay, the question was, what is it? We get half the sweet dose of and we're just okay with that? What is that? You get half the sweet dose if and you're just satisfied with that or what? Okay, because we talked about some of the advantages of having a teammate or a wingman. But this is kind of the darker side of that. It does cut your dose if right squarely in half.

But that's when you enter into a duo or a double act in our team, you realize you have to share the dark times. You have to share the glory. And, you know, ideally your teammate is helping you get much more DOSIF. But what's happening in this case? Nick had a DOSIF problem for a while and was sort of ODing on DOSIFs. And it was actually, in this case, it was different that I was. What do you mean?

Yeah, what the fuck do you mean, Brian? No, come on, man. What? Dude, come on. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. You came on as a team and you are leaving me in the lurch. I'm sorry about this, guys. Please don't say lurch.

Okay. We talk about scary stuff. God damn it. I don't want to hear anything. Just about the scariest thing I've ever seen. I don't want to hear anything about lurch on this show. And that's my one rule. The way he answers the door is just about terrifying as could be.

And nobody should be that giant. I don't mean to keep scaring you guys. I agree. Way too big. He might as well be a freaking dinosaur, and he's a person. Here's a question from, oh, I'm sorry. I must have not asked any of the questions before either because we forgot to get the questions out of the popcorn bag.

Ah, yes. Well, this is where the seams start to show. It's been a little bit of a vacation for me and Hayes. And when you're on vacation, you don't always do all the things you do when you're at work. And this is a job for us that we have to reach into the popcorn bag. Okay, so let's play the clip. Let's play the sound clip. And this is my friend Mark from high school. And he is reaching in the popcorn bag. Okay, so let's play the clip. Let's play the sound clip, and this is my friend Mark from high school,

and he is reaching in the popcorn bag. You got a dose of problem. Okay, well, he's making fun of Brian. He's making fun of Brian, yes. It's interesting. So there's a whole series of sound clips for the popcorn gallery. Yes, and he records them ahead of time,

but he almost always knows exactly what's going to happen on the show. And increasingly, it's the thing right before the actual sound drop. Yeah, it's often not even a full minute before what happened for the sound drop. Because there's a lot of stuff I feel like that's happened during our conversations that he could have referenced. But he just went for the thing that seemed like would have been. You guys going under the table, the computer closet. I mean, there's all these things that have been talked about that would have been appropriate. And he just reached for, it seems like literally the very first thing that he could think of that he could remember that happened.

Well, this is where like if he, like, some sort of teammate, a teammate who could say to him. Oh, a teammate who stands up for him? Make a computer joke, you know. I don't know what you know about teammates anymore, Nick. Well, we have to reach it one more time for the second question now. Because that was for the first question. Sure.

The second question now. This one's from Anastasia Vigo. Brian and Nick, do you like to kiss each other in real life or just in your sketches? Well, I think what... What's to say there's a difference between the two? Well, there's... Yes, that's an important thing. Wow.

That is real life. Nick, I'm back on track. Yeah, because when you think about it, it's not cartoons. It is real. When you guys do it, it's not cartoons. It is real. When you guys do it, it's a real kissy. Yeah. No, we have a stage sketch where we go for it, and it's great. Yeah, and we kiss.

And it's sort of, you know, it's showing all the girls out there, because we do like girls, that we know what we're doing. We know, you know know how to handle ourselves, and we're comfortable. And I consider that enjoying kissing Nick in the sketch and real life in that moment. So the answer is both. In order to play the character, you have to enjoy it.

It is an important distinction that just because it's on computers doesn't mean it's not CG. It is a computer graphic. It's not made of clay or paper. I mean, and it's truly not. There's elements that are. There's elements of the CG. Well, yeah, of course.

Of course, elements. Yeah, I mean, you know, if you know anything about science, which actually Hayes and I actually read a lot of that. Yes, there's always going to be elements that is clay and is paper. But that doesn't mean it's not real life because those are part of what makes the universe. I mean, stars is just made of clay and paper. I mean, in a sense. Will you speak on that?

Yes, please, guys, boys. Stars are made of clay and paper? Well, in a sense. Yeah, yeah. Sure. I mean, if we're all – I mean, I guess you just got to look at it as like you hear people talk about how maybe the universe is a hologram. And maybe we're all sort of flattened together.

Or everything is the same star stuff. We're all just electrons. And we're all in the same vibration. All those things that we all believe. So in that sense, the stuff that makes up clay and paper also makes up the stars. So is there any difference at all? Just like there's no difference between real life and our sketches. Exactly.

Clay and stars, same way. Yeah. Let's Playing stars the same way. Yeah. Let's reach in the bag. The bag starts to start I mean... Okay, it sounds like this time Mark was not really listening to what was going on in the podcast. He heard it a little bit. It sounded like he was doing something else.

It seems like we sort of blew Mark's mind there. Yeah, he's trying to figure it all out. And now Mark is, in his pre-recorded sound draft, responding to what I'm saying. To what I'm saying. To what I'm saying. This is a question from Greggy. He's asleep. Oh, he forgot to turn the record off on the sound draft, and now he's asleep right next to the microphone.

But... Oh. right next to the microphone. But... Now he thinks he can just cover up for falling asleep and he just can go back through the bag again. Ooh. Popcorn.

Okay. That's a conversation. I should... I do need to have a conversation. I think he's become a little too comfortable with his role as the sound drop guy. Maybe he doesn't feel like he's replaceable or something because that is... Greggy. This is a question from Greggy.

Greggy asks, okay, it says, Nick, Nick, this is important. It's Engineer Cody. He's in my computer. He sucked my foot into the CD-ROM drive. Nick Kocher, I need some advice here as soon as possible. I'm really scared. How do you juggle work, life, and family and still find time to have a good time? Please get your answer to me ASAP.

I'm afraid for my life. And then it just says, he's just like a letter E. Okay, well, this is a great question. And I'm glad I'm a part of it. Well, and let's let Nick do it because it is specifically for Nick. I don't think Brian. And it is a time issue here because Engineer Cody is sucking this listener into his own community.

And maybe if you answer this question, since you do know about computers, you can help him solve this problem with Engineer Cody being inside his computer and sucking him inside. Absolutely. You know, I think balancing home life and family is really important. And, you know, what I like to do

is I like to keep a little book that has all of my family members' names and their phone numbers written down in it. And that way I remember to call a little book that has all of my family members' names and their phone numbers written down in it. And that way I remember to call them from time to time. Also, I think a good going on hikes is important. And what about the computer stuff? Well, you know, it sounds like he's got his foot caught in the CD-ROM drive. Is that... See, that is my suspicion too, because I think he might think it's Engineer Cody who's inside his computer, but Engineer Cody's actually right here, and so he can't be in the wires right now.

We know he is capable of going into the wires. I know he's been in the wires, and he has gotten in the wires before, but at the same time, he can't be in the wires and sitting where he is unless he's a hologram, kind of like what Brian was saying is maybe the case before. Well, kind of. But I think in this case, you're right. I think Greg might just have his foot. I think he stepped on his CD-ROM drive.

Yeah, and I think now he has his foot caught in there. And I think maybe he's a little embarrassed. I also would question what kind of CD-ROM drive it is or the size of his foot because the CD-ROM drives I've used, there would be no physical way to get your foot caught in there he's like a a clown type character on the forums and i think it's the flatness of his large shoe makes it very easy for the cd drive to mistake it for a cd okay and play it. Suck it in and start. I imagine sort of buffing the skin off of his feet when the mechanism starts spinning

in an attempt to play it. And I shudder to think what shows up on the screen when the CD drive starts to read your foot. Now, what book did you say you write your family members' names and stuff down in? Oh, it's a little book. It's a little brown leather book, and it's empty. There's nothing written on the pages. Oh, it's not.

Oh, okay. Okay, I thought it was like Glass of Mohicans. No, no, that wouldn't work because there's already words in that book. And there's a lot of books, actually. There is actually some pages that doesn't have any words. And you can put on the cover. Sounds like you haven't read it. I assure you I have

read Last of the Mohicans, but I probably just had a copy where they were, you know, I care about the environment and so they, you know, compressed all the words together so there was less paper in it. Okay, it's not a pissing contest. Wow. Okay, let's not a pissing contest. Wow. Ooh.

Okay, let's look in the bag for the one more. Maybe now I think I could do a better bird impression. No, okay, okay, okay, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just play the sound drop for the last more question. You do not, you do not, you do not want to get into this with me. This bird impression.

Now you've pissed Sean off. I'll fucking take you. Brian, get out from under the table. I'm under the table with Nick right now. Sean, I do not want to go to the toilet. Okay, guys, I know you guys are under there. I'm very scared of doing the show alone. This is not a position I like being in at all.

All up here by myself. And so if you all could please come up from under the table right now. It's making me very uncomfortable. One second! We're sorting it out. Can we just make a pact? I'll be friends down here because I want to be liked by both of you. Brian, I need to fight this battle on my own.

Okay? Alright, man. I guess this is it. This is the parting of our ways. Yeah, I guess it is. I'm going back up. I will do the most hilarious accurate bird impression you've ever fucking seen. Well, for your sake, I hope that's true. Okay, so Popcorn Gallery. Oh, good.

Okay, yes. We'll do the Popcorn Gallery. And let me get the last question. Yes. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. I'm a bird. I'm a bird. Wow. Mark really scooped everyone. Mark's bird. I mean, that's better than what I was going to do. Do we even have evidence that that was Mark and not an actual bird?

Well, he may have brought one into the studio with him. I'm not going to come close to that. Well, I can't now. Now that we've heard that, I can't do one. We've just been bickering between the three of us and Mark won. Isn't that crazy? Yes, yes. And the four of us, yes.

And here's... I don't like that. Here's a question from Greggy It's for Brian Yes Brian, would you be on my podcast? Is that it?

Yeah It's from Greggy? Yeah, Greggy, I will, absolutely Well, what network is this? Hey, let's let Brian do this one because you got yours. Now, when you answered your question, he was nice and quiet for you. I was quiet. And also, when we were under the table, remember how we split?

We're done? Yeah. That's true. So you're not answering for me anymore. That's neither here nor there. I mean, that's it. But when he answered, when you answered your question, Nick, Brian was nice and quiet. That's true. He had a real hangdog look on his face the whole time.

So now why don't you look sad while he answers this? I don't know what that looks like. And Brian, I know it's kind of just a yes or no question, but see if you can stretch it out, because this is really your time to shine. Oh, shit. All right. Yeah.

Greggy, absolutely. I'd love to do your podcast. You can contact me at... You're doing great. Thanks, your podcast you can contact me you're doing great thanks man you can contact me at britannic at gmail.com

just make sure it says to me in the subject line because Nick also reads it but he won't if you just make clear that it's for me specifically

we can talk about whatever you want just you and me I would love to be a part of it please is that like Titanic

our name yeah yeah it's in a way yeah I would love to be a part of it. Is that like Titanic? Our name? Yeah. Yeah, in a way, yeah. We weren't really thinking. We were initially thinking of doing a lot of boat themes. It sounds a lot like Titanic. Yeah, that's what we say. I mean, we're trying to figure out a name that mixed our two names together,

and then that seemed to be initially. There's no T in your names. Yeah, that was like the little flourish, I guess. You know people died on that. Yeah, it's sort of, that was like a little flourish, I guess. You know people died on that. Yeah, it seemed like it was far enough away from a time period that it wasn't going to make anyone angry. Those are people's moms and dads. You know, people nowadays. There's also a lot of hope that came out of that story.

And a lot of hijinks that happened on the ship before the iceberg that no one talks about. Maybe they talk, you know, people love that movie. That's good, yes. Talk about that. The hijinks that happened on Titanic before the iceberg. Yeah. talks about. Maybe they talk... You know, people love that movie. That's good, yes. Talk about that. The hijinks that happened on Titanic before the iceberg. Yeah. Well, I can. Well, you know that game Sardines, which is kind of like hide and seek reversed?

Do you guys know that game? Hmm. Hmm. That sounds very interesting. Reversed. Reversed hide and seek? You reversed it, yeah. Like the other person is seeking and the person who was seeking is now hiding. Yeah, that's right.

Well, that game is played a lot on the ship. You guys seem to be lost. Give us a minute. Yeah, sure, sure. Okay. There's hide and seek where somebody's hiding and the other one is seeking. If you reverse that, do the opposite. Then the one person would be hiding and the other one. No one is seeking. If you reverse that, do the opposite.

Then the one person would be hiding and the other one is seeking that guy. Yeah. Yeah, you guys are getting it. And the game is basically turned inside out. Well, guys, thank you so much for being on the show. Thanks for having us. This is a real pleasure. Yes, it was really nice having you, too. And please buy the pro version of our podcast.

And first, rate us on iTunes and talk to us on the forums. And this is for you guys, too. You got computers, right? You already talked about that. Oh, yeah, yeah. We got computers, my friend. And please buy the pro version of our podcast, which is you get the live feed, bumper stickers, you get pencil, you get all the good swag.

And we should talk about payment for that because a lot of people have been asking about how the payment works. When they give us the card, is it just like a regular, do we just like pull the price off the card every week? Or is it just like a regular do we just like pull the price off the card every week or is it just like the one like yearly subscription uh and the truth is like you can just look at your credit card statement and just figure that out after the or venmo yes or you can yes we do accept venmo yes now we take venmo that's great. Who bought the pro version this week? I think somebody did.

No, I know somebody did. Somebody definitely did. Yeah, we actually think. I know somebody did it. Nick's looking at me like, they didn't do it. I'm like, oh, yeah, Nick, they actually did. I don't think they did it, Brian. I legitimately don't think they did it.

It started out I was on their band side, and now look what you're doing. What about we did it again? I think he bought the pro version. Yeah, great. Okay. So We Did It Again brought the pro version, and his prize this week is a couple great bird impressions from the Britannic guys. And also working his name into it would really be a thrill. His name is We Did It Again?

Yes, and he's from Portland. Oh, nice. Thanks for buying the pro version. Oh, an old bird. Bye. This has been an Earwolf Media Production. Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman.

For more information, visit Earwolf.com. EarwolfRadio.com The wolf dead.