Hollywood Handbook - Bryan Quinby and Chris James, Our Guys Friends

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

Hayes talks to BRYAN QUINBY AND CHRIS JAMES about hosting the podcast Guys. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. So I land in Cairo to pitch my invention. I'm going to all the different, so there's Shark Tank, but like Shark, there's like franchises of the format all over the world. And Shark Tank itself is a franchise of Dragon's Den from the UK, which was a remake of the Tigers of Money in Japan. So they have all these shows and people just go on

Shark Tank and they don't sell their invention on Shark Tank. And then they're like, okay, well, I guess that's it. It's like, no, it's like, if you actually wanna, if you're committed to this, if you believe in your invention, you actually have hundreds of other shark tanks that you can go on to sell it. You have to understand, you like learn a tiny bit about their culture to cultivate your pitch. And so in Egypt, it's the Sphinx's enclosure. Are you talking to us or you're on the phone? You have a Bluetooth thing I can't tell.

Did I just, I've been telling a whole story, like, and no one has been reacting to, this is like the third act of my story. Yeah. You didn't hear any of the early stuff. You didn't hear about what the invention is I was playing my magic thumb. Yeah, I was looking at brian's thumb to be on He's got a magic thumb that he that he that lights up and It's like i'm not a big fan of it because it is kind of low level magic But it is physically physically will distract you and will sort of take your gaze.

And so yeah, I missed a lot of the middle part of it. I love that you call it your magic thumb. Like it's your superpower. I love that. I love that you're taking something that is a disability. Well, I'm magic. I am a magician. I love that.

Brian, I love you saying that. And I love hearing it. I I love that Brian. I Love you saying that and I love hearing it. Yeah, that's knowing that it hurts for your thumb to light up like that Well, it does I mean I feel like he's getting the proper treatment now and so it's not such an issue anymore But yeah, I mean obviously it's not the only Thing that you know, the only problem you have like that. We gotta start, we gotta start somewhere. I'm like an X-Man, Dazzlin' Brian, the X-Man magician. Okay, now that's good. And so that's what I-

Put that on the marquee. And so that's what I call myself for my superpower, except I spell it E-C-Z-Man. Yeah. Because of my condition. Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about ballistics X versus sever.

No, that's not how you spell it. So if I were talking about that, I would spell it correctly. And what is your superpower? Like, how does it help you exactly? I've like, I know that it's the skin thing. What I'd love is for me to get the kind of support that I was giving Brian, because if I were like I know that I mean I know it's not something what I'd love is for me to get the kind of support that I was giving Brian because if I were like well, how is that a fucking superpower like it hurts and it looks like shit It looks great. It looks like it doesn't look good. Yeah. I know it looks very bad. It looks a

Bulbous like it looks like it's a problem and it is like it looks like what it is and that's like a pretty serious medical thing. So the other thing I have is the rose magic trick, but I lost it in the room. But this is part of it. This is part of the trick. Just imagine a rose appears in my hand. You lost it. When it comes up.

Yeah, I lost it. That makes me think that it is like real magic in some way. Yeah, it disappeared. That you kind of lost control of your powers. I couldn't summon it again. It's probably somewhere in this big stack of DVDs I've been buying from eBay of old radio show DVDs. Oh, I love the old radio show DVDs.

Yeah, they're mostly porno. They're shock jocks and like I've been no porno Yeah, well, yeah, honestly he buys a lot of stuff and I feel like he over pays for a lot of it as well because a lot of the time is I'm trying to explain to him the bidding system on eBay, but you'll just come in with this like much higher number than what they're asking for and Give him, you know $200 for like a man cow DVD or whatever. Remember here, like dressing up like a cowboy and getting your little pop gun

and sitting on the circular rug, crisscross applesauce and listening to some porno. Well, that's all that radio was in the 90s. That's all it was. Yeah, it's all porno. Yeah, they would bring in naked ladies and you would get to listen to them. And yeah, and it would, I mean, sometimes,

do you know the Grease Man, Hayes? Oh yeah, sure. So yeah, he would- He didn't bring naked ladies in. No, he didn't have to. He would just- He says virulently racist things. Well, but also very horny things as well, you know? And he would have his own sort of, it was kind of a cool way. He would teach you how to talk about sex because back in that time,

you couldn't always talk about it everywhere depending on where you were. So he would teach you different words like the hobbledy geez and your snarlens and everything like that. No, so it's like, I don't know. And I know like the new podcasts are like different and like it's not necessarily about like respect and just the fact that we all do the same thing doesn't mean that we're like part of a community necessarily as much as I would like that to be the case. No one has asked about my invention.

I spent a lot of time developing it, even longer telling you about it. You didn't hear me, you were looking at your thumb. Okay, Hayes, what was your- You were doing some other thing. Hayes, what was your- It didn't really emerge. What was your invention?

Carzapan. Okay, I'm intrigued by it, I'm confused. Carzapan is a revolution in the transportation and hospitality sector for the 2030s. Gen A through Z. I said G-NAS when I was first. When I went on Shark Tank, the real one, I should have actually gone on some

of the smaller ones first. Because when I went on like big Shark Tank, I said G-NAS and they were like, big Shark Tank, I said, genas. And they were like, who's genas? That's really embarrassing. You should honestly, that's why it is smart to do Shark Tank open mics and stuff like that. Sort of your smaller ones before you do hit the big time.

Because yeah, now you're kind of, you're always gonna be the genus guy. And so I have had to start, like I have to keep saying genus, like, because I said that that's something that people say on Big Shark Tank. So I can't, I cannot go back from that. Yeah. Ever be eating a loaf of marzipan in your car?

If you want to rest it somewhere, but there's nowhere, anywhere you would rest it is nasty. Marzipan can't just be like touching like the seat or just like the dashboard or. If you pull the wrapper back, there might be some exposed parts to it. It's not wrapped. Oh.

I made it at home, it's not wrapped. Oh, I see. Is it, and one time I did a live show in Seattle and a guy walked up to me and put a piece of smoked salmon in my hand. See, Seattle, I would kill to be eating this in Seattle. I mean, we're talking about like the Sun Belt where like marzipan does not hold up,

especially in the car. So, oh, so, and, but is it in the wintertime? Like is it in the holidays when people are eating marzipan? Cause then it would be a little cooler, right? No, so this is, again, like you have to catch marzipan at the bottom side of the market. Like if you're, if you're really trying to live off this stuff, like we cannot be buying, again,

I'm trying to start a business here. Can you though, can you though? You listen to Mark, like, you know, like you're eating a ketchup sandwich for dinner, right? Or in my case, I buy off season marzipan, which has all the ingredients you need to, but survive, survive is the wrong word.

I don't know what marzipan is. Chris looked it up obviously while you were saying it. What do you mean? It's a very famous type of food. I definitely know what it is. Everyone knows what it is. It's like, I feel embarrassed. It's one of the top foods.

Well, it's one of the top holiday foods. Yeah. And it's, um, it's in candy as well, which is why I'm surprised you don't know about it, Brian. Well, Chris, I don't like bringing up foods around you. Cause the one time I told you guys my favorite foods, you made of me and then you laughed at me. And then what is it? pizza cheeseburger pizza cheeseburger I've never heard of that

Thank you No, I've never heard of people. Yeah, and they're like, oh, what do you eat? No, we're just saying that's like It's kind of understood that you like pizza and cheeseburger. You know what I mean? That's like kind of say that's your favorite is like yeah Like there has to be something very cool like I like a you know a salmon or whatever like, you know Baked salmon or something, you know, we're like a see you know smoked salmon or like some sort of it. You know what I mean? Yeah Now you're just saying smoked salmon because that guy handed me that smoked salmon and then I had to hold it in my hand for

The rest of the night it could have thrown it out. I guess that's interesting that you say But someone came up to you in Seattle and gave you a smoked salmon Just a piece he was had a Sandwich bag in his hand of smoked salmon and I was like a jerky or like a yeah Kind of but it was homemade and it was so wet It wasn't wet that's not crazy because I was in Seattle once Oh, and someone followed me into a biscuit establishment called a good bitch. Yeah, I was gonna eat there last time I was there. This is not I just want to listen

I I'm gonna come I'm gonna come out and say it here because I don't want this to be Cryptic or anything like this the person that Hayes is referring to here is yours truly, me, Chris. And I do want to be clear. I did not follow you. In fact, Hayes, I believe I was already in the establishment eating my biscuit B. I don't use that word, but I was eating my biscuit B and you came in after me. My understanding was that you had cased the joint. This is just by your kind of posture when I walked in.

I was like, okay, some kind of trap has been laid for me here. And also I could see that you say that you were eating a biscuit like that, that's all you were there for. But I saw in your bag, you had bought five T-shirts from Biscuit Bish. Cause you thought the name was so funny. bag you bought five t-shirts from biscuit fish because you sounds like so funny. We tag team stuff like that.

So Chris says biscuit and I say bitch because he doesn't like saying I don't use the word biscuit, but I do like that's why it's like to me, it's so shocking to have you and have it on a shirt. And that's why I do like it on a shirt and same way someone will have like fuck you or whatever on a shirt You know, so but yeah, I don't sure you just came up with write that down in the old merch file No, but but I didn't I listen I will say I came to the this is I guess kind of embarrassing to say but I did

Travel across the border on a train to come and watch your live show. That is true. I did come watch you, but it was just a coincidence that we ran into each other at Biscuit Beach. I had been there for what, three hours tops before, and that was just because I had to be- Do you remember what they call the thing that you ate? No. Bitch, which is. I did not remember that. But I do believe- I'm looking that up. I'm gonna maybe open one of those here. No, bitch, which is Remember that

But I don't believe that up. I'm gonna maybe open one of those guys and you're looking stuff up. No, I'm yeah Can we just do a show? That's yeah, we could just we could just it would be nice isn't guys This isn't like you you know, we aren't coming into this with anything except ourselves much like Kristen bring me shit coming into this with anything except ourselves, much like Kristin, bring me shit. Of course. What was not even smoked salmon? Not even smoked salmon. What was I supposed to, what would you have expected

that I would have given you or brought to you? I mean, it just, it happened to Brian. And I actually had bought a bag of exactly what was given to you, Brian, a bag of salmon jerky from that market that were in baseball games, when they're coming back from commercial, they throw the fish.

Oh yes, they throw the fish across. I saw them do that. It's like the pipe. So you went. I didn't do that. So you were there. Oh no. He was watching you.

Watched the fish. No, I went. Followed me there. He does that. No, I was there. He does that. I was there. He does it. I noticed that you were there as well. Yes. And but see, I was I was nice in that I kept my distance and I sort of followed behind you at like a safe enough distance

that you wouldn't notice me. But then I could also watch you for the sort of duration of your trip. And I can say it was like you had some really kind of cool shopping tendencies. Anyway, can I mention the biscuit bitch website for the part where you were you it says a bitch parentheses jobs? Yes, it does. It does. It says be a bitch.

So, and I did want to be in just for full disclosure. I did. I was like, it says be a bitch. So, wanna be a bitch. And I did, and just for full disclosure, I was like, was that place called Biscuit Bitch? Yeah. Where Chris followed me into, and I did look it up beforehand just to confirm that it was. And I saw that the first tab is home at the top of the page. The next one is be a bitch, parentheses job.

Brian is exactly that. Yeah. Thought we had a nice conversation in's. Thought we had a nice, nice conversation in there. Um, thought we had, you know, I thought it was pretty nice too. Can't eat it. You were stalking Hayes. That's a good story. No, it was a good conversation we had. We talked about, well, we talked about stalking.

He's like, Oh, guess what? Guess what? I'm in, I'm in, it was in Vancouver where you live. Just hanging, hanging around in your city for a Threat though. No, he was already there writing. He was doing something in television. No, he was asserting dominance Hayes were you asserting dominance? You tell me man. I like I Well, yeah, I never know if it's working or not. I

very Intimidated and I I, I've been telling the story basically every single day since it happened. And not in a good, like it's not a good memory for me. So yeah, I would say you did assert your dominance, but even more so, it was the time when you were hanging out with my friend Jesse from your Kickstarter sucks and he showed me a channel and then you looked at my.

So this is not your Kickstarter sucks. Now that, I mean, it's helpful. We wish. I know that. We wish. I know that academically on some level, that's not what this is. I don't know why it's not.

You know what I mean? Well, we don't talk about Kickstarter. Do you know, you know the show that we do, we talk about guys so and so this is where okay now I'm sort of want the cars a pan thing oh Yeah, the cars a pan thing. Oh boy. How do we how do we keep fucking reacting to this as if it's a halfway good idea? Well, that's what they you know they do like pitching stuff on the show. And I just want, you know, speaking of not giving anyone anything,

questions or gifts, statements or thieves? What is Carzapan? What is the invention? It's a- I thought it was a car made of marzipan, by the way. That was the first thing that came into my mind Yeah, it's a confusing name and I refuse I refuse

Where this is the Sun Belt is like Tucson so would never ever work That's true, but wait a cup holder attachment may shaped like a couple of us made of marzipan So you can put though you can put the loaf in it and Brian just like It's an almond meal Candy, it's candied meal. I Don't know if I like that. That's what it is That sounds like I know you don't know if you like I know it's some kind of a fancy boy food No, he sounds like a fancy boy. You've eaten it. You've probably eaten it in one of your candy bars I know you don't know if you like it. I know, it's some kind of a fancy boy food. It sounds like a fancy boy food.

You've eaten it, you've probably eaten it in one of your candy bars, but you don't know it. I'm, what are we gonna do? I don't eat candy bars with marzipan in it. What are you talking about? How are you gonna stop people from using the product or in a different place other than the Sun Belt? Like why?

I mean, you can use it anywhere, but like people, I mean, people have like snow tires. Yeah. And it's like, oh, like, why are we gonna sell these to a place where it doesn't snow? Like, I know, it's not my problem. I see, I see.

So it's just, you're saying this is, this is for warm weather. It's for warm weather where you have to eat the whole loaf pretty fast, cause it's gonna like, sweats Mars pan sweats is what is what happens and so the Insert is made of marzipan. So when you're putting the loaf in there, it's touching other marzipan You know what? I mean, it's not touching like a felt seat

But does I like pan holder get dirty or something gross. But does the marzipan holder get dirty? No, it's only touching marzipan. As long as it's only touching itself, you don't put anything else in it that would be gross. Like you're just putting the loaf in it. Can you dust marzipan though? No, but it's like a little dust at a time, you eat it.

You just eat a little dust like you. And I'm just trying to help you out here to be honest, because if you are going to repitch this, these are the things that they're going to ask. And also, well, no, this is what, yeah. So like you, it's a subscription. And so like, obviously you have to replace the, you have to replace the thing. And we're going for like treatment, not prevention here.

You know what I mean? Like we're not trying to like solve the problem. Like why don't you just eat a different food? It's like that we want people Gonna make it easier to eat this stuff cuz I bought all this marzipan off season I gotta sell this stuff, but people can't eat it in their car Chris are you afraid to eat dust? Is that what I'm hearing? I'm not afraid to eat it. I don't want to there's lots of Last picture of one of Those crazy bugs these like

Yeah, you just pretend you don't know about just because I'm it's like I don't want to Afraid of it like I'm not afraid of the foods. I don't like like I just some foods I don't like the taste of her whatever. I'll eat all the fucking dust. You hand me. I don't care I mean, I believe that I'll eat all the fucking dust you hand me. I don't care. I mean I believe that Well, it's bravery Brian used to eat six king-sized Caramel with chocolate bars in the middle of the night and that sounds like some sort of outrageous Lie, but that's true and he only realized it was weird when I reacted to it You know, he thought that that was kind of a normal thing to do

You guys know in the middle of the night. Yeah, well, that's because he's always making fun of me, because if I say something about my life, he thinks it's weird. I'm watching personal information ping pong. Yeah, we well, we like each other. We're fans of, you know, we I mean, you got you and you and Sean. I see we sit here, we, I mean, you got, you and Sean. I see. We sit here, we face the same direction.

We just have our own private conversation with the guest. I see. And you got anyone that- And then it's two cabs home. And when the mics are off, it's an Anthony, Kumia, OP situation. I would kill for that. A dynamic of that.

I see. It's worse than that. Health and sustainability. When was the last time that you guys had like a nice off mic conversation? Off mic? I mean, it was before we decided to do the show, because that conversation was smart. Because you also got to save it.

That you got to save it. You have to save it. I love talking. I love when we say, let's save it for the pod before. Oh, why? You guys say that. Brian does that. Why did all the time? Why didn't you do it? He does it to me all the time. Why didn't you do it?

He does it to me all the time though, and I'll just set, we'll be having a conversation or whatever, and then he'll just stop me abruptly. I'll be like, something like, my wife's like, you know, she's having these issues, you know, say, hey, hey, hey, stop, you know, shut the fuck up, save it, save it, save it. That's so good.

It is, because it's like, it's our life, but obviously, it's not just ours anymore. I love saving it. it yeah I was recently in no not November for the beginning of the podcast for I was recently in Vancouver for three days and we didn't talk once we didn't talk we didn't meet each other he would be like uh and I'll be like oh whoa whoa that's podcast material right there brother yeah yeah yeah and then when we got on stage, we didn't, I don't think we ended up using any of it,

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Whoa. Hollywood hamper. So what happened when you were pitching, I mean, I have to do this myself, I guess, and Sean sure as fuck wouldn't do it if he were here. So what happened when you went to Egypt and we're on Shark Tank? Kind of an interesting, it was Sphinx's enclosure, like kind of an interesting story, I think. I guess, I guess not.

I mean, it is, and it is it, but yeah, you can, they ha, so you know how they made an offer, which really backfooted me. And I countered, but you know how here, culturally, like you're supposed to counter in a business negotiation, but our store retail transactions, like at the market, those are pretty straightforward in the United States. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, we do actually.

On our podcast, we just talked about this. They used to be able to negotiate things, not anymore. Not anymore, but in business, they still have the negotiating culture. What I learned was in Egypt, when you are at the bazaar, you haggle, but in business, it is very disrespectful to counter. It's opposite.

It's opposite. It is opposite. That's very interesting. So does that mean it didn't go well for you? I didn't understand a fucking word. I don't negotiate at the Bazaar ever. When I'm at the Bazaar, I'm like, I'll just pay what you're charging me. Yeah, you do.

But that's very disrespectful at the bazaar. He he does. Yeah, he. Brian does like to buy the most expensive thing. This is another piece of information I know about him is that he believes that thing that costs the most is the best no matter what. And he will buy it. No questions asked if he can afford it. Not on big, huge things, you know. Yep. What's a big, huge thing? Well,, like a car. Lego. Well, no, a single Lego, a single. I'll buy a gold Lego, a single Lego. I'll buy a golden Lego for however, you know, to be. I'm being 100% serious. I don't know what that is.

So we all have different things. We don't know what they are. You don't know what Marzipan is. I don't know what a golden Lego is. I mean, I'm the fancy boy. Last night, I had you are talking about golden Legos. Yeah, I've never even heard of that either. That's there isn't one. But last night, I had the weirdest thing happen. I Googled.

I wanted to buy a Faberge egg. So I Googled it and then found out how much it costs. I love, Patreon listeners just love hearing shit like this. I love it when we do it too. Oh, Brian does it so much. And we certainly do have a Patreon and he does it a lot. He likes to sort of, yeah, talk about outrageous. Well, I didn't know what they were.

So I Googled them and I was like, maybe I'll buy one. Then I saw it was 58,000. The one I saw was $58,000. So I'm going to have to make a little more money. Yeah, that's not really in the end. Just to be clear, I think there's something about it where it hasn't happened yet where people get really mad at Brian about it. I think they're, they're still kind of laughing at him about it. Cause the stuff he buys is still so stupid.

Uh, that it's like, you know, he'll spend like a thousand dollars on like the Lego Titanic or whatever and that was $700 and People will sort of get real they'll sort of be like well, that's just guys an idiot I can't really be mad at that, you know, but at some point I think they might turn What's that back there? Is that Marwin call? That's my city. Yeah, that's a, you know, there's the city. There's a naked guy back there behind me.

He's a naked Lego guy. I love Marwin called only the Steve Carell one, not the documentary, but. So what you like is welcome to Marwin. That's thank you. Yes. Thank you. You're don't like Marwen Call. Yes, I don't.

I found it to be, yeah, I mean, it had none, didn't have enough Carell in it. I'm a big fan of- Marwen Call was fake to me. Welcome to Marwen is like, to me that's real. Well, because of Carell's acting 100%, like I'm a big Office fan, and so like, I'll watch him in whatever, you know what I mean?

We're trying to get in for cars a pan This is name has car in it You try to get it in there. Can I just like speak something into the world like a little? Mm-hmm And I just hope this manifests like a few emails like we are having these conversations. I'll just say one word Carsey Eastables. We are in discussion with the Eastables brand. Is that the you guys got to do? Is that Mr. B? Is that the KSI one?

But yeah, it's beast, beast of all feastables. It's feastables. Yes. Feastables. It's Feastables. Yes, Feastables. Yeah, but it's not, wait, what? It's Feastables. It's Feastables. I thought it was Mr. Beast. It's not Mr. Feast and Beastables.

It's not Feastables. Mr. Beast and Feastables. Have you been calling a Mr. Feastables? Have you been calling a Mr. Feast? No, no. But yeah, I thought they were called Beastable. Logan Paul is involved as well. Let's not forget in KSI as well.

I think that's prime. I think that's just prime. But no, prime is that no, it's a different or no, they have a thing where they put them all together now, you know, and they're it's like it's a little lunch for kids. It's not it's nice for kids. It gives them all of the things they need and one sort of thing for school, you know? Primeestibles?

Is that what it? No. Primeestibles? Where is it? Brian, you're in Ohio. Where in Ohio are you? Columbus. Columbus, Ohio.

Directly in the middle of it, baby. Right downtown where it's all happening. I hear they're changing it to indigenous peoples, Ohio. Well, Arawak city is one, but the one that everybody wants to change it to is the flavor town because- Flavor town. Guy Fieri.

Okay. Yeah, they're serious about it here too. I think they should. What, what, what? You have to do, I think you, Brian, I think you have to be the left Joe Rogan. I think you gotta do this. No, don't do this. And I know your application, I know your, Brian, I think you have to be the left show. Rogan. I think you got to do

this. No, don't do this. And I know your application, your last application didn't go through, but I think you, I think, I, I think we need you. I think Chris, you gotta get to Columbus and you have to build a community like Rogan has in Austin and like Mr. Beast has in Greenville, North Carolina. Yes, and can we do our own Kill Tony? That's all I wanna know is can we do our own version? I'm obsessed with Kill Tony these days, the standup comedy show.

I mean, I'll get out there. I mean, none of that is copyrighted. Yeah, I mean. From Kil. I'm none of that is copyrighted. Yeah, I mean, I'm behaving that way. Yeah. Yeah. I could. Exactly. The name might be, but not behaving that way. You can't copyright behaving that way. Kill Chris with Chris Hinchcliffe. Yeah. Yeah. Tony. It's more about it's like what you've built back there, Brian. It's like building, it's like building, it's like what Mr. Beast has done in Greenville, North Carolina, home of the Greenville groove, the first NBA development league team to win the championship. Okay. Then disbanded two years later. Wow. That's not good. The good look for the championship. Okay. Then disbanded two years later.

Wow, that's not good, the good look for the league. It's now the, then it became the D league and now it's the G league, the gay league. Yeah. And Mr. Beast is reviving it and he is naming it the Greenville Greastables. I thought Mr. Beast is just sort of having like a bit of a fall from Graze currently, but you're saying he's going to rebound like a like a basketball team.

He's going to rebound like a goddamn basketball team, baby. That's good. Is he famous? And I know that I'm well aware of what Rogan and the boys have done to Austin, Texas But I wasn't aware that mr. Beast had a similar sort of commune type. So he's been because he's been moving in silence Yeah, yeah, I'm going to Greenville soon I think That's I got a literally the opposite of what I'm saying So, but I got a pitch for mr. Beastable You know you have to build your own

town Yeah in Columbus Columbus is a guys It's guys town Yeah, I'd be nice guy Fieri is here all the time. Well, we would need come on what we guys town not guys It's guys town what we would need you get guy Fieri He's I read Jerry guy richie, that's how I say it. Hey, that's how I Gidey mo pass on I don't know who that is. He's a mo pass on

Do not look that up Chris. Okay, I see you canceled. Okay. Whoa, he's canceled. He's coming back He's gonna get rebound like I think I've got there. You can't rebound them once you're canceled. It's over Unless you're Tony Hitchcliffe who did rebound after that bad set and now Trump's the president. Mm-hmm and you guys You build your community there. You get your you get your people together. Tribe TV on the televisions. We would obviously need a sex club.

We should mention if anyone does check out the podcast. That's what I was imagining when I said imagine. Yeah, we have we are. We sort of are like a lifestyle podcast as well about the Pineapple Swinger lifestyle and it's not on purpose. One of the hosts of the show is really interested in that. Chris Chang. In that lifestyle and is I guess sort of maybe having like a personal reckoning or whatever and it sort of seems to come up a lot on the show.

But I'm not in a lifestyle. Number one and number two, it's not a life from your interest in it. It sounds like you're not in it, but it sounds like somebody who has, who's fogging up the glass. One time he, it's one time he told me that he was going on vacation and then this is in a text message. He said, I'm going to bring a friend along so my wife can have fun. That was a whole out of content. And everybody heard that it was recorded. Yeah. And it was Las Vegas. And it's because I don't drink so she could have drinks.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's just, yeah, it gets talked about a lot. And I think if there was a guy's town, it would, that would be a heavy focus. The chive as well would be heavily represented and the main religion would be past the far. Yeah. Do you know about it? This is all stuff that you could do with guy Fieri. I'm sure are you kidding me? Pasta? No, no, come on. Oh, he does. Yeah. Oh man. This guy, you're making fun of the flying spaghetti monster. This guy is such a millennial. You don't know about the chive. Hey, it's a humor website. I do, but you have to like, like you have to parlay it's like the bitch witch.

You have to like parlay this into something that you actually eat. I know what the fucking chive is. Then it's bacon. If you're on the child, I don't know. Yeah. It's a big potato with chive and bacon, epic bacon on it. Not sure why you're getting so mad It sounds like you maybe don't know the chive like hey, I got a question for you finish this Please keep calm and drive on fuck. Yes. No it fuck Have you ever heard of the manly bacon? manly man company that sells bacon bouquets That's chive. That's child right right there. That's chive food.

They also have beef strips. Get the bacon strips guy bacon strips. Yes. Yes. What happened to him? $69. Did you guys do a bacon guys? No, we just did man guys where bacon was a mistake. What do you mean? It's too broad. I mean, are you trying to do multiple? Are we trying to build something here? No, not really. You did man guys? It was an idea. I came up with the name.

Oh, it's like 50 episodes and that. True. You are right. It ended up just being chive guys too, because a lot of that, we were focusing on chive style. Well, we also focus on man cards getting revoke. Yes, that is you can do that online now. Hayes, I don't know if you know that there's a website where you can get

people's man, you can get them both. Yeah. If they do something that's worthy of having it revoked and yeah, you could like you could get Sean's man card revoked if he did something in a recording and you're like, what the fuck, you know, like there's pretty Some of them are kind of dark though, you know So I'm like, you know, this guy is getting his man card pulled for domestic abuse and it's like wow, okay He's got it. That's not that's the same because he has been flashing it at me And it is entrapment to get me to

What is it I've never even seen it. He flat, yeah, that's cool. Yeah, of course, you know, of course I don't have mine. I haven't had mine forever. To get me to like admit that I'm scared about something and then show me your man card, that actually is entrapment. I keep my man card in the same part of my wallet

as my hall pass. Hey, is you forget that he has my hall pass? Is you forget that he has the man he says he doesn't have I so you have to tell me if you have it And he says he does it he always flashes in a different compartment He has some some kind of hidden thing that flips up. Mm-hmm And it's like I think it's like I have one of those air No, it's into his mouth and he okay. Go ahead. Oh, no, just one of those actually. He's about to show his wallet. Oh Look at this. No, no, don't put it away. Don't put it away small. It's looks like a PlayStation 4 It doesn't look like a PlayStation 4 you can't fit a PlayStation 4 in your hand

Yeah, I mean this is is that what your wallet looks like, Hazer? Does yours look like a normal wallet or do you have a wallet? Mine looks more normal, but I'm not trying to get gunned down at an airport when I show my license. It's not my goal to when I'm going through airport security, that like in the act of revealing my license. Well, you think it's dangerous to have a switch cut down in a hail of bullets.

No, I have my idea and stuff's on the end. You can open it up like kind of like a bill for. So what's popping out when you, when you pick? Oh, that's my credit cards. That's just your credit cards. Yeah, they're in a special order of ones that are way overdrawn to ones that have like $45 left on them.

Okay. What's going on? That's what's dangerous about having a credit card that makes you feel cool when you're pulling it out. Why don't you pay off your credit cards? I don't have the money. Yeah, you do. They have the interest rate.

I make money with you. I know you can pay them off. They are charging you interest. It's not it's not smart financially what you're doing. Sorry. It's free money. No, you have to keep it. If we could just keep it down a little bit, Chris and Brian. Why are we being quiet? Because we're not talking about the fact that I I'm broke because sometimes I make bad financial Okay, but I thought you were talking about that No, Chris was talking about that. I mean, you said your cards were all overdrawn. Yeah, you they are but it's because of things that I bought Yeah, it's when I started bringing up solutions haze It's when he wanted us to be quiet when I started bringing up solutions and it became sort of like a real-world Thing and like an actual thing that has a solution versus right now It's just these little cards in his wallet that he got to buy stuff It's great. It's nice. I I mean and I'm my wife's making me buy a goddamn mattress now. What do you mean?

Okay, like she wants a new mattress so I and I'm like dropping but I have a baby you have a child me too. I have a baby. Yeah, I have an actual baby I don't am he's not it's not like a pissing contest or anything But his baby is like an fucking adult now and can vote in the election. Okay. Yeah, you're just denigrating my fatherhood It's really great. And my baby's a legit baby. My baby is a legit baby, seven months old, doesn't know how to do anything for himself. I have to do a lot of caring for him.

I do just as much as you do with my daughter. I texted her today. You were on pills when your daughter was your baby. That is true, I was on pills, but that's nothing to look down upon. True, you got yourself clean, and now I will say this, this is the truth. Brian is one of the best fathers that I've ever seen in his relationship with his daughter is fantastic.

And we can all aspire to have a relationship like he does with his daughter. He's a, he's a really good dad. Did you notice that I waited, I went to Mexico to buy pills before my wife and daughter got to Los Angeles, not while they were there, and I didn't bring them with me. That's fatherhood. Hey, so you still here? Sorry, I just, I just hypnotized by just the back and forth.

Yeah, we've, I, yeah, it was factoids. It's just, yeah, we just, yeah, we're, I mean, I mean this is we don't have like we don't understand like the world and stuff and our feelings and stuff So when we talk we we this is what we have to talk about Hey, you know how you do this and then and then I'm like, oh, yeah, that's kind of like how I do this You know, and that's basically that's the depth of what we have What's that? What guys do we have coming up? Person guys? Oh, come on.

Hardcore guys is coming up very soon. Again. But that's the hardcore music, specifically. I know, I know. I do feel like you could slice that one a little bit thinner too. We could. We did talk about that on the episode that we could,

but that's with one of our, the fan favorite guests, Brace Belden from true and on is on there and he is a huge hardcore guy So it was yeah, it was a fun episode. We already who's booking over there. Oh Well, there's only us Who do it? We don't have anybody else who does yeah. Yeah, all right Chris will never let me hire somebody well, I will but I just I don't want to Yeah, he just wants sometimes it feels like he wants to hire people for stuff is we could just do ourselves Like posting the episode up and stuff like that, you know, who's the?

The you guys kind of keep it in the family with the guests over it over it not really sometimes we have. We have. We, we wanted to have you guys come on the podcast, uh, probably since we started it and you know, never really, we're really afraid to ask people who we don't know. And so we always thought you guys would never come on the podcast. And so we never even thought to ask But I'll tell you as soon as we got a message to come on this That was the first thing I thought is they better fucking

Better pay us back real quick and come on our feed. You know, that's immediately what I thought it is punishment Yes, I'm for you and then punish our absolutely ours and and let me tell you something Hayes our episodes are long They are long buddy we keep you there for two fucking hours, man This is but this is like, you know, we're talking about guys These days. Yeah, and how we spend our time. Everyone's like what's going on with these guys? Yeah, I think there must be something to how the new popular formats are Just getting increasingly endless. Four hours of Rogan pop into a nine hour stream.

Yeah. Put on a diaper game for 14 hours. It seems like the distractions required now are like more full It's gotta get longer and longer. I don't want any time where I'm not watching something or listening I hate when silence is in my ears. It's the worst feeling in the world. Yeah Sometimes you get to thinking you know, what is the thing you'll start thinking about if it's silent me, yeah Cars hmm What is the thing you'll start thinking about if it's silent? Me yeah Cars mmm

Mattresses, what about you? Hayes does it ever get to yet? No questions about my car invention Yeah, that is kind of odd Hayes does it ever get quite too quiet for you and you start to get thinking I It does happen to me sometimes but luckily I have this little fucker over here Who then sends me a text and it's like hey? You forgot to upload the audio hey Where are you

But that's nice though because it breaks up the or the, but I guess maybe if you want the silence, then it could be a problem, right? I mean, I'd be curious what's on the other side of it. Yeah. Oh, you don't want to know. At this point. Yeah, yeah. You don't even get a chance.

Put a stream on. But you just don't, Hayes doesn't even get a chance to sort of confront his thoughts. And it is right. I just want to put on record here, before we, we did not do a save it for the pod. And so we do have to talk about something that we're not going to do. sort of confront his thoughts. And it is right. I just wanna put on record here before we did not do a save it for the pod.

And so we do have to talk about something that happened before the episode, which is that Brian promised me four or five minutes into meeting him that he would never kill himself. That's true, baby. That is? No, you promised.

You fucking promised, Brian. No, no, no, you did promise. I was here on the call. I don't know no no no you promise I was here on the call you promised he's literally said promise and you said yeah, I promise you tried to backtrack right away But a promise of promise that's not how a promise works. I Don't I I don't make promises ever and I think Kevin was were you recording at that time Kevin? No Kevin I don't think so Thank you. Okay. He did promise. Kevin, you were there. Didn't he promise? He did promise. Yeah, he promised. Already, I knew he would try to

backtrack on this. I knew it. I mean, I say that to everybody I meet immediately. First thing I say, I promise not to kill myself. I thought we'd really gotten to something really fast. Oh yeah, no, no. That that makes me feel much better that you say it. Yeah, that's how he greets people really? Yeah Yeah, but I get him on the call and I'm like, hey, how's it going? Oh, yeah, and I promise not He feels like it puts people at ease. I feel like it doesn't I feel like it's like you don't even need to mention it But he's like no, they're they're wondering so I should say something. Yep Get some relaxed what day of the week does this show come out on I think it's the Wednesday or what day Tuesday our show comes out on Tuesday and Friday Friday is the bonus episodes guys plus on the patreon yep guys plus

our show comes out on Tuesday. Yeah, I know. We're competing. Yeah, I know, that's what we wanted. We're like, okay, what do you do if you wanna be the top show or whatever, you go head to head with them, you don't fucking wait in the shadows or whatever, we'll take you head on, yeah. Wait, who's the most famous person you've had on there?

We haven't had that many famous, I mean, we had Ike Barinholt. You guys have to be reaching out to Ike Barinholt. We had Ike Barinholt. Mmm. I don't know. We haven't had that many fame. I mean, we had Ike Barinholt. You guys have to be reaching out to Ike Barinholt. We had Ike Barinholt. Ike came on, yes. Ike came on. We had Joe Para on recently.

Okay. And let's see, who else? Anybody? He embarrassed me in front of Joe Para. It was really one of the harder ones. Chris did that? Yeah. Chris did.

Well, like, told, said embarrassing things about you on a show. Do you want to join? It's fine. What it is you want to tell the Hollywood? I'm but no I don't want to tell I would bring it up the reason but I'm saying He's not gonna girls easy when he was younger instead having sex he would suck on a girl's titty for three hours And then go home and jerk off bye That was a hate gum podcast