Hollywood Handbook - Carl Tart and Ahsohn Williams, Our Business Associates

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

The Boys and CARL TART welcome AHSOHN WILLIAMS to the show to improve their Patreon. Check out their new episodes 5 days a week at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so uh it's me and you know as i start doing kevin what if this part thank you what if this part we say we put this behind the patreon so many things it's like you know the go daddy they say go to the website to find the end what if instead the beginning is there this would turn the entire industry on its head so for so long we've been basically servants to the GoDaddy model where GoDaddy is dictating how I do my business. And instead, what if I start telling GoDaddy, oh, yeah, actually, I saw what you did and I decided to innovate and be my own boss and put the beginning behind the paywall. And what you get is an out of context end of the show to like the back 40%. A lot of references, callbacks to things you didn't see.

I mean, that's got to be more enticing, right? Can we get Dana Kirkpatrick? Kevin. Just a hypothetical. You are so bad i'm telling aaron rogers oh come on not aaron i'm telling aaron rogers on you and so i i just froze i immediately froze at the beginning of the show i'm back now but maybe that's something that we could say doesn't happen behind the patreon and so these are other just examples of like ways that we can create make this product worse and and offer a superior version behind the paywall kevin and this is now without freezing yes and that's two ideas

and that's just two ideas we've had two already and you have had let me count real quick carry the blah do the you've had precisely zero you've had jack and squat and jack just left town so i don't count danica Patrick as an idea. I had that idea and I chose not to say it because I did not want to invoke the ire of one Mr. Aaron Rogers. And so we do. So we should bring everyone in because this is,

this is really a collaborative conversation. I want to introduce two of our work colleagues but also people that did go to godaddy.com to see the whole thing and so they i'd like to hear about that experience but also this is a business conversation this is about what we can do to take our our new uh this new entity that we that we're building together and make it uh so huge make it uh big money make it uh like very popular big show sorry sorry hayes does anybody else have major blue balls right now from not hearing the end of the fucking intro song though i mean i was i was t minus away from none okay yes i am edged for the show for the theme song and that can be good sometimes creatively that can be good to like deny yourself

and sort of live in that realm of but it's really bad for you medically it's really it's really really medically it's incredibly dangerous and you should neverically, it's really, really bad for you. Medically, it's incredibly dangerous, and you should never do it. So, Kevin, you do have to finish us off a little bit. Go ahead and play the rest of the tune. Small, small, small, small. Yeah. And you know what that reminds me of? The fact that we were so close to nothing.

Like how excited people were and what we were talking about it reminds me of a little poetry if you don't mind please okay please we always make room that'd be really a little early in the episode we usually say that but go ahead here's a little bit i'm just gonna let me get in the mode to do it. I'll throw that dick much deeper. Come be my wide receiver. I'll give that girl a seizure. She forget her boyfriend, amnesia.

She want to ride it. I let her have it. She better ride it like Danica Patrick. I get behind it and move her like the heimlich maneuver and that of course uh that's by the famous poet robert frosting yes uh and we did it is a little early in the show for that but that is getting me really energized and i also want to talk about what sean demonstrator like people like we don't like get into this stuff on the show always but like like like there's this idea that like nutting you make this like huge sound no you know and i want to just go back to the sound that sean made at the end of the song which was just a little like

yeah want to just go back to the sound that sean made at the end of the song which was just a little like yeah yeah that's it that's the one yeah it's like you took a very small sip of a very cold drink yeah like the coke zero i keep by my bed that's right and just a tiny just a little little sippy and someone comes over and she's like what's that for and it's like you'll find out but then it's just you take a sip of it you just have some yeah baby hand me that Coke Zero. It's time to get the Coke Zero involved. It's in a velvet case on the nightstand. Chekhov's Coke Zero. There he is. Let's introduce our guests uh carl tart you've has been on the show many times

and by many and we've worked with him for a while but does he yeah by many by many wow i have not been on the show many times and i want to address it today okay please while kevin sits up there and drinks his butter beer i heard he was the one that's been blocking me from we suggest you basically every week half the reason we started flagrant ones was because we were not able to get you consistently as a guest on handbook. Frankly, there is not enough time in the day that we. What? I messed that up.

There's not enough content. Take it back. Take it back. There is not enough time of us. I messed it up again i we don't have enough content out with each other thank you yes no this is the whole point we don't have enough and we need more and it's been being blocked and i don't like it and i just want to say that but i'm happy to that, but I'm happy to be here. Nevertheless, I'm happy to be here now.

I'm happy to be here tomorrow. I'm happy to be here forever. And Carl, you've brought someone from your other show, your brand new show. And as by way of introduction, as my father would say, every time he saw the cat

lying down on my lap, he would go, hey, who's your buddy? That's really funny. Who's your buddy? My buddy here is my cousin, Ahsan Williams. Hello.

And we host a show called Carl Calls His Cousin, also known as Jeopardy. The copyright is up for grabs for Jeopardy. You got the copyright. It's just, yeah. Once Alex passed, it was public domain. Yeah, it was in his will.

He said to please release it to the public. Yeah. May the chips fall where they may. Hello, everyone. My name is is asan and i'm here i'm i'm his buddy and cousin asan you're a dj i am a dj how about this freaking scarlax this guy with his uh what's up with that guy his whole head looks nutso to me scarlax to me is the definition of your head has gone too far scarlax yeah that's enough scarlax you gotta tell scarlax that's enough it's been a while since i've done my impression of a scarlax song

i think you should do it hang on thank you thank you asan i want to know that you are empowered to do it i'm trying to remember yeah so it's like it's like call 9-1-1! That's pretty good. I'm hyped. This guy is so crazy. And I respect, you know, I respect all kinds of... Oh, you thought it was a normal song? No, it's actually scaring you.

Yeah. All kinds of art is important to me, and I have studied a lot of different kinds, but this is like... You just hit play on the CD player. This is like... That hit play on the CD player. This is like, you know, I understand it requires like technical skill, and I can barely get the thing in there half the time. I can't even find the thing. I can't find where the thing is to go in there.

Honestly, the hardest part is carrying around my giant book of cds from gig to gig well half the pages are empty in mine or there's like some kind of crud in there yeah there's footprints all over it for being on the floor of your car and you spilt that cherry seven up on it the only ones that are still pristine are the streets, original pirate material. That one I've taken really good care of. And then, um, do you know that song? Like,

are you Jimmy Ray? Sing it. Yeah. Maybe I'll recognize it. If I heard it, Kevin, can you play it? Yes.

Who wants to know? Who wants to know? It's more of the middle like does it warm up fast i forget i can't remember yeah you know this one this could be fun to play it does sound really good It kind of has like a... We can't play it for too long, but we need to hear the chorus. I think it's right. Maybe right now. I'm getting like montage vibes from like a romantic comedy. This is one of the only CDs I have that's in good shape.

Here we go. Who wants to know? Who wants to know? And what is his name for real? Yeah, what's this person's name? Jimmy Ray. Jimmy Ray. Jimmy Ray.

Yeah. So for me, you can stop it now, Kevin. I was just about now kevin i was just about to nut i was just he's right there we keep doing this and it's so unhealthy just wait until you just just please just wait until you that was my fault but in the future we'll wait until we hear the yeah t minus away from nothing it's so bad for your health it's so bad you get blue balls yeah my djing is mostly that just keeping track of my cd cases and playing jimmy ray songs that's about the it's about the end of yeah the hard part is i also keep my uh my playstation 2 games in a like a similar case so you know sometimes i've showed up to gigs and like i just

have the wrong case. They're like, we don't want to play Twisted Metal. We want to hear Jimmy Ray. I'm sorry. Welcome to Hangar AT. I'm sure you'll see one of my friends there. One thing you got to do is

you can't put it in too fast, especially in the car the tape the cd i'll get really excited so sean knows this if i am like freaking out and getting really pissed i have to listen to kokomo yeah but i am in such a pissed mood that like i will put the tape in at incredible speed which the the car is not built to just like do it like that yeah like most cars are built to absorb the g like the g forces in the driver's seat not in the tape deck although i do see why you would think that though well yeah just i want to explain a little something like the whole right side of his body is sort of connected it's almost like a marionette or something like where

so if he starts pushing his arm forward he's also going to be stepping down very hard on the gas pedal oh well that's actually my solution is to allow for the speed with which I am putting the tape in the machine, I have to drive faster. Like a speed compensating audio. Yeah, that setting that I always turn off when I get in a rental car. So now the car is moving forward at a high speed. That makes sense. As fast as my hand is moving. Did you ever, you know, marionette was the wrong description.

Did you ever have one of those toys? Maybe it's like Goofy on a platform or whatever. And then when you push on the bottom on the right side, like his whole right side collapses. That's right. You know what I mean?

Like you push on the left side, it's like, and so you kind of push back and forth and it makes him kind of do this. I don't know if we have the rights to talk about Goofy, Kevin. We have to change his name to Giblet, right? Giblets, yeah.

That's the fair use name. In the Florida Keys, there's a place called Gumball. That's where we want to go to get a week with us. I have an issue where I need to listen to the song cooler than you before every record. Do you know this one?

Can you sing it? Yeah, yeah. Got designer shades just to cover your face and you probably think that's cooler than me. And so that song obviously is very important to me and I have to hear it before the record but often i'm not in my car before the record and that like is that's the only place i have like a a disc changer or anything this changer yeah and i sometimes don't even have my car or my car doesn't have any like juice in it so then i kind of have to just run around the neighborhood and like go into like different

like grocery stores and stuff until i find someone that's playing that song that's why i was a couple minutes late today and that's been happening kind of throughout the run of the show well that's part that's like one of the most frustrating things about being a dj is when you're djing like a party or a wedding or something and someone shows up and you're not playing the song that they wanted to hear and so they they bolt out down to like the nearest vons and try to see if it's playing there that's it's frustrating as a dj because i'm pouring my heart out on the but that feeling when you are playing the correct song yeah they were running around the neighborhood trying to hear i mean like that must feel really good yeah when a sweaty guy

runs in and said i've been to every gelson's in a 10 mile radius and i finally found it at this wedding that is the greatest feeling in the world that's why i got in the business that's why i do what i do asana's up there on stage just jamming i do want to account for something that carl pointed out earlier yes kevin is drinking butter beer uh he you all hear me? No, not really. God damn it. But this wouldn't happen behind the paywall. Kevin, you just got to hammer that home. Like every time Hayes freezes, that's actually making us money.

Available now. Patreon.com slash the flagrant ones for uncorrupted video and audio. I've got a great track record of keeping things going when hayes is freezing too like i'm able to really actually steer the show in a big way i was on i don't know how much you know about the history of the show i started out as really more of just a side kick figure like one of hayes's like little assistants and he's got a lot of us um but i was able to kind of get into at least the co-pilot seat at this point so even though he's gone i've still got the stick in my hands we're on course and i think i can bring

us in for a safe landing i'll just do one of my famous segues now into a totally normal question that i think will get us into a really comfortable conversation great um what uh what uh what's wrong with you man uh yeah that is uh well right now i'm a little hungry uh-huh did you mean like in the short term or the long term like the the macro sense yeah macaroni yeah you could eat that if you're hungry i could eat macaroni macaroni is good is macaroni the best pasta though well okay for me is it the best pasta uh really good and i'm comfortable not having haze here to answer this i don't need to check in with him i can answer for myself it's a food preference so like i'm allowed to just say what i think totally um speak very candidly if you'd like i'm not stalling no macaroni best pasta uh pass pass i think it goes to carl then uh tortellini tortellini's your favorite tortellini uh chef kevin ginoki ginoki my new ginoki ginoki kevin you tripping

dog that's just potatoes not always not the way i make them how do you make them kevin if you have to ask remember you have to ask, remember. If you have to ask, you can't afford it. Okay. Let me shut my ass hole up. Asad, you did, you know, you promised us essentially that if we brought you on board and let you be a part of the Patreon, that you would double or possibly triple our listenership in just the first few weeks. That was the pitch, yeah. You said that you had a lot of genius marketing tactics. I feel like we've been spitting out stuff.

Even Kevin tried with Danica Patrick, even though that was actually my idea that I chose not to say. I haven't heard a lot of ideas from you so far, so we did want to give you a forum to just say, how do we turn this ship around? Yeah, well, I think there's some obvious things. I think everyone should be wearing sunglasses um at all times i think that's that's that's obviously the first thing that seems to be successful for our show people like you keep saying you keep saying obvious and it's a

little insulting sorry i i i'm back and i think this will work was Ahsan saying that stuff was obvious a lot? yes I'm just giving some I'm just giving Sean here some pointers on how to make the show more successful and get more subscribers based on what I've noticed about Carl and I's show

Carl and me's show? me and Carl's show? Carl's and mine's I think it's called i think it's called carl calls his cousin yeah so uh yeah so you guys got to wear hats and glasses uh and then i think you should call your cousins every week on the show it seems to be working for us okay uh okay so kevin how would i do that best do i just hop on speaker and just like phone up my cousin i think so we are currently sitting at the top of the charts especially with our dualipa episode and it's called new rules it's called new rules one pick up the phone. Call up your cousin.

Is he out at home? Two, call another cousin. Put on some looks and a hat. Three, call Boston. Just yell out if that's your cousin. Okay. Four, you ain't giving up on him. All right.

Let's see how this goes does this ever happen well no no i mean not sorry i'm not not you i mean like to the to carl and asad does it ever happen that like this is the episode okay i'm always there when no i'm always there when he calls and i'm always on time i like it i don't understand it works for us every week yeah so yeah no uh something must be really wrong i'm actually scared because no one ever does that to me if i call it's like that's just that's it like you're you know you're getting there they want to talk to me people like talking to me people like my personality so that so what's happening here is probably some kind of danger and possibly even a death. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. So I'm sad and scared. So that's what we're dealing with. Couldn't be me. I'm trying to think if I have another cousin. my whole family's immortal do we want to talk about Kevin you're in kind of a unique

cousin situation right now that maybe could be do you want to talk about that sure I'm not on talking terms with a handful of my cousins you're between cousins you're in the market

for a new cousin I'm technically're between cousins you're shopping you're shopping for you're in the market for a new cousin i'm technically in between cousins um there was a wedding a big wedding that happened last uh a couple weeks ago that i did not attend a covid wedding a covid uh sensation extravaganza wedding um i did buy a card i haven't given it to him yet i guess i could read it you haven't given him the car please please make the card please please do read the car go ahead hey no no no you you go ahead i'm sorry i just can't believe you didn't go to the wedding that's so disrespectful as a family that is the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard. Especially a COVID wedding.

A COVID extravaganza? Such a huge Game of Thrones fan. He's always talking about the red wedding. This is really just a very slow motion version of that. Okay. They're very religious so I thought play the hits. put some of that into the card yeah play to your audience you know i mean that's so much of being an entertainer

you gotta play to the hello you gotta play to the demo hello this is from god so the front says god is obviously an awesome matchmaker hold it up hold it up while you read it okay the inside says we all agree, dot, dot, dot. You two are definitely going to make, you two are definitely going to take Happily Ever After to a whole new level. Congratulations and blessings to you.

And then there's some scripture on the bottom. Be happy with those who are happy. Romans 12, 15. And what did you say? What did you say? What did you, because you know, you got to add extra little. Yeah, you must have put

a little inscription of your own. So far, empty. So we have space still. Yeah, I guess we could workshop. Okay, you want to get a pen? Yeah, let's find another scripture to add to that. Oh, yes.

Cross that one out and add one that you think is more appropriate. Let me see here. Just put in more of a deep cut. Yeah, go to the book of numbers. That scripture is so basic. Yeah, let's get something for the real heads. I think, first off, Kevin, just draw a church. You know they like this.

Yeah. Who doesn't love a nice drawing? I want topverses.com. And it is the book of numbers most popular versus. So this is numbers 21, 22. Let us pass through your country. popular verses. So this is Numbers 21, 22. Let us pass through your country. We will not turn aside into any field or vineyard or drink water from any well. We will travel along the king's highway until we have passed through your territory. Now, let's break that down.

You understand? Oh, this is like verse genius. Now, Kevin, when you write this in the card, when you write this, let's break that down. Let us pass your country. Let me have my way with your wife. Not in a, like this is more, wait, which one's your cousin? Yeah, that was something I was curious about. I don't want to be nasty. My cousin's the lady. Okay.

Okay. Okay. All right. Let me have my way with your husband. Let me rewind. Let me have my way with you let me let me rewind now let's break that down let us pass through your country let me have my way with your husband okay we will not turn aside into any field or vineyard or drink water from any will y'all know what that means uh-huh Let's have some wine.

Yeah. We're not tickling the balls. We're not playing with the pubes. Okay. Now, we will travel along the King's Highway until we have passed through your territory. Just go and nut a little bit. And then you can have your wedding. Put that in the card, Kevin. Write that down writing that down write that down you need another one please okay go to judges

judges the book judges judges let's see the book of judges the most popular bible verses from judges ah judges five six in the days of shamgar son of anath oh i love this one in the days of jael the highways again the highways were abandoned travelers took to winding paths now let's break that down all right in the days of shamgar, son of Anath. Think about it. Shamgar. How many letters in that?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Son of. That's five. That's more five. That's 12. Anath. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. In.

18, 19. COVID-19. Ah. We got there. COVID wedding. COVID wedding. COVID-19. Ah. We got there. COVID wedding. COVID wedding. COVID wedding. COVID wedding.

The signs are there. The signs are there. The highways were abandoned because nobody was outside because everybody was quarantining inside. What a respectful tribute to their wedding. Y'all not hearing me? Y'all not hearing me? We're hearing you.

Travelers took winding roads instead because when they put us on curfew huh you can't hear me i can hear you no we know we do but y'all not hearing me i'll hear you but y'all not hearing me no we are i'm just am i am i freezing am i freezing in the word because y'all not hearing me okay let's break that down people took back roads they had the wedding body like a back road there you go right there you go they had the wedding despite despite there being total and utter chaos in the world health-wise they took the back road they didn't tell nobody secret wedding put that in the card kevin write that down write that under the last one son you got body like a back road in your cd book

i do i bought the single of it uh on cd uh from sam hunt's website and sam hunt baby yeah so i got that wasn't no he the cousin's husband has a body like a back just write that in the car dirty it's kicking up dirt at the slightest touch congratulations cuz this man's got a body like a back row dear cousin congrats on your loving nuptials. Cruising with my eyes closed, I know the curves like the back of my hand. I do want to, just in case people have any misconceptions, what I was talking about before i froze before is carl

did mention that kevin's drinking butterbeer did we get into this oh i don't think we did okay talking about pasta so yes kevin is visiting the wizarding world of harry potter to get takeout he is getting takeout meals from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. You're not going in person. You go. They have a nice pickup window for you to get your gross beans and the roast beans. My magic beans. You just drive all the way up the hill to universal studios

and you get a full takeout beer meal and you get your butter beer so he's being safe yeah it's uh it's cool i like it there i bring my wand and I exchange spells with some of the employees. Do they make you go on a ride in order to get the foods for paying customers of the park only type of situation? I make them come with me, though, because I get scared when I'm by myself on it. They typically have to have an extra person on staff whenever I come because I require some help. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language.

tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always get people stop me and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a product it's something that you really use and care about but there's one language that i'm trying to learn and that's body language so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babble is designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does

their whole finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost.

And they're really aggressively pushing it out. I'm like, am I supposed to drive by a car? Yes. Or just do it at the window as I'm going. That's what I've been doing. Dangerous. Yeah. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners.

I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others, can't feel good to be others there. Continue to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. All of their 14 award-winning language courses

are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee. Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash the boys. Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys spelled B-A-B-E-L

dot com slash the boys. B-A-B-B-E-L B-A-B-B-E-L B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash the boys. Rules and restrictions may apply. With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy, but you'll always be glad you did it.

Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-fro frozen meal is chef crafted dietitian approved ready to go in just two minutes speaking of ready to go in just two minutes chef kevin is here with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal yeah it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't

just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking. And there are 35 different options to choose from every week, including Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, and Keto. Which is this? It's a little bit of all of them. Okay. Okay, it shouldn't be.

There are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long. How many add-ons, and what are some of them? It's one big add-on and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal. The promises the meal

makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do.

It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. I know give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two, me walking in my bedroom. What's the second?

It's you in your bed? The bed. I guess Clippy. Fuel up fast with Factor's restaurant-quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are. Pancake, smoothies, and more. Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day, like breakfast, bites and more no we didn't even this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's very simple it's one huge chicken nugget sign up and save we've done the math factor is less expensive

than takeout every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com slash theboys50 to get 50% off. Hey guys, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills you can see all your subscriptions in one place and if i see something i don't want i can cancel it with a tap i never have to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses yeah before

i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think also by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720

dollars a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million, most of that was the dresses. Well, yeah. I mean, you're talking about Hollywood memorabilia. You're talking about ornate gowns in some cases. And so that was costing me a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com

slash the boys we gotta get it i mean just like we're getting tips uh about new subscribers i think this is great i do just want to like talk about like the division of labor here um you know obviously like sean and carl and i have been like doing we've done basically all we can it's basically all on a song at this point uh we're just tapped out i mean i we've done so look at me i i'm just like a wet rag at this point i i just i have nothing left in me and so you know it sounds like it sounds like y'all need to do do like a like a kind of a corporate retreat like to re-energize the morale amongst no i'm just gonna get you in here and just have you like i i i appreciate the instinct to pass the buck instantly. In fact, I felt it often myself and successfully done it sometimes with Hayes and Kevin.

But I'm wise to that game. You know, you can't BS a BSer. And so there's no corporate retreat coming especially during this time of covid weddings i have so many covid weddings to attend i just don't know what weekend i would even pick um so we are gonna have you take over you know if you want to go to like a little lake or something you can do like you could do that for like a one person Like a one-person retreat? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think I could do that. You could do it.

Listen, this is from Judges 7-8. Okay? See, I think this is the foundation of what makes our show so successful is we have strong Christian values. And whenever we need to seek guidance or figure something out, we always turn to the good book. Go ahead, Carl. There's a verse for that. Yeah, for sure. Now listen, y'all not hearing me.

Hold on. You haven't started. So Gideon sent the rest of the Israelites to their tents, but kept the 300. Gideon Yago, right? Gideon Yago. From MTV News? MTV News, yeah. Gide news mtv news yeah gideon yego did that gideon yego yeah gideon yego this is what he was writing for newsroom right yes okay yes yes gideon yego sent the rest of the israelites caduce and uh sway sway and lala to their tents Damien, Faye but

kept the 300 who took over the provisions and trumpets of the others now the camp of Midian lay below him in the valley think about it now you're taking over

like me Sean and hayes are taking kevin and i we are the israelites right i am a black israelite i do go to the train station and yell y'all know that about me though that's that's outside of that's that's how we met yeah that's how we met i stopped you and i was like look at this damn devil here i see you devil walking around with your big ass dog huh finally somebody's shooting me straight you know this town's so full of bullshit and ass kissers so it'd be honest with you really refreshing and you told me i had a face for radio and so uh that's how we that's how we became friends now the rest is history yeah now you we they're the boys are taking kevin and i and we're going to our tents we're resting

you're going to take over the provisions and the trumpets taking our trumpets which means all the work that we have put in to this building an empire shout out to empire call it call us call us here at the empire 800-588-2800 empire and uh did i say something wrong? You said 2-800. It's 2-300, I think. Yeah, it's 2-800 now. Oh, they changed it. I'll be right back. They moved four units down

on the street. Hey, Carl. Yeah, I'm listening. Let's take a side room. Let's take a side zoom room. I just bailed your ass out pretty hard with Kevin. When he gets back from checking, that is going to be two, three hundred. Yeah. What I need you to do is break into his apartment, steal the files.

Yeah. We're going to have to scrub the zoom and make it that you originally said two, three hundred and that he corrected you by seeing two, eight hundred. Now I can do a pretty good Kevin impression. It's until eight hundred. Oh, my gosh. That's perfect. So we've got that audio now i do want to talk about out of his place hey so what are you doing in here this is our private side room this is our breakout room sorry if you this is the joke room you're supposed to be in the

story room you pulled me in here i want to about... Ahsan came up with a pretty elegant solution, which apparently when a business moves a certain number of blocks away, the phone number changes by that same amount. No, I didn't realize that. It's the middle of the phone number. It changes. So yeah, they moved a few spots down and it went from 2 three hundred to two eight hundred

and so maybe it's it's actually relocating the business if you can actually lift up the entire building and move it that far down the street that it will become two eight hundred there's probably not that many people in the offices right now i mean it's never been easier right yeah yeah phone numbers are changing left and right for businesses right now i mean it's never been easier right yeah yeah phone numbers are changing left and right for businesses right now okay everyone's moving man it's a buyer's market i'm back but everyone's in the break room guys come back all right i'm back. So all we have to do is like, I mean, I think we should set goals. We do want to have more subscribers than the Doughboys, obviously. By EOD Friday would be amazing.

That would be so good. But if you need an extra week, we totally understand. It's a crazy time. Have you guys tried eating fast food on the podcast i think we've done that only we do like show parodies kind of sometimes okay and i think we've done that premise only 35 40 times yeah so you still got some mileage out of that bin left okay i mean i got some plantain chips is this gonna do anything for anybody are they fried you know i didn't cook them no yeah they're i'm gonna be totally honest with you i didn't cook these and i'm ashamed i'm

embarrassed to even admit it but yeah no these i I put them in this bag that I have at home that looks like what you put in after you cook something. Right, right. But these I actually bought pre-made. 33 of those times, we ate mixed up. Yeah, we did. And so instead of eating food and talking about it, like reviewing it and stuff,

we just kind of had our dinner while we were doing the show while you were talking about anything else besides the other stuff yeah i just happened to be eating a whole meal and sometimes not even mentioning that we were eating the whole time people hate it when you do it people are really mad when you do it oh that's weird that sounds always i think they collected all the sick freaks that want to hear that stuff yeah they've kind of tapped they cornered that market yeah and those people don't really want to explore anything else now they're like addicted to the doughboys fucked up like weird energy trying to think what else you could it's just so toxic too like i just don't want to live in that space like those two are so toxic have you ever thought about starting a podcast where you you talk about why all the other podcasts are toxic

because that might be really interesting i'm gonna stop you i've never thought about starting a podcast what happens is i'm somehow mid podcast and I don't know. I can't remember what happened earlier that day and I don't know what's happening. You're right in the middle of calling a podcast toxic and you're like, how did I get here? Yes. Every time I'm doing a podcast, I'm sort of like the guy in Memento where I have to like check my body for tattoos to like indicate what I should either bring up next or like where I'm going or it's it's really fucked up so um i just want i'm sorry sean to cut you off but i just want to praise

i just want to praise a song real quick for constantly being a dj you heard him say how did i get here like that's another one of those songs that you run from grocery store to grocery store and then finally you stumble on the wedding and just hear you may find yourself at a wedding listening to bible verses this is not my beautiful cousin's husband this is this is not my covet filled church how did i get here many days gone by is is the show getting kevin like our version of it getting kevin a new a whole new set of cousins oh i think that could work i guess it's i mean it's like not kevin's choice really so we would have to deal with what is it your mom's sister or something yeah my dad's sister your dad okay so not yeah so so absolutely not my dad's sister

so we could do a bachelor a bachelor style show where we're finding cousins for kevin yeah i think i think we found it yeah yeah so we can either kevin wouldn't really have to be on screen at all we could really just be dealing with and just cousin auditions and what it's just cousin auditions right no not you sorry i'm asking kevin what his aunts and who are we dealing with here what's her name could her name be like ashley or something so that we could call it like the ashler yeah like that like now if it's the ashler like i feel like we have a legitimate hit on our hands could her name be ashley so aunt ashley is like the prize of the ashler. And then, you know, hopefully we could pretty quickly get her married and

pregnant and get Kevin some new cousins. Well, an Octomom situation would be beautiful. So that's interesting. I was thinking that these people would be trying to become her kids, her like son or daughter. But you're saying that's like hook her up and get her pregnant and so creating new cousins for kevin my idea for kevin's family yes is that is that we we octomom is on ashley uh so that the so that my friend has

eight young new cousins and it's really an investment too, because that young, if we get them involved in the podcast, then long after we're retired or dead, they will continue to sort of accumulate wealth for our podcast estate. Teach a man to fish. You can teach a man to fish, but you can't make him drink.

I got a Bible verse that corresponds to that hit me with some deuteronomy my friend deuteronomy let me see let's see if i spell that right uh yes yes yes deuteronomy it's uh let's just dude dude you're onto me uh Dude, get off of me. Deuteronomy 32. Deuteronomy, you see a dude walks up. He goes, hey, what you doing over there? Dude, you're onto me. I'd rather have a Deuteronomy than a frontal lobotomy.

Okay. Deuteronomy 32. frontal lobotomy. Okay. Deuteronomy 32.4. He is the rock. His works are perfect. My cousin's the rock. Your cousin's the rock. He is the rock. His works are perfect. This person really liked Jumanji. And all his ways

are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright, and just is he he is the rock the rock is god let's break that down let's break that down let's break it down please break it down please break it down sean you want me to break it down yeah please break it down king no of course yes no i was about to i don't need hayes's permission to break it down yeah please break it down king no of course yes no i was about to i don't need haze's permission to break it down um so the rock i mean this guy's strong the okay the people's eyebrow okay tell me that's not similar to a steeple i'm listening wow

okay the people's elbow that's sort of steeple shaped as well i'm listening let's just point it the other way so at this point we got okay strong guy with two steeples i'm listening hey think about this it doesn't matter what your name is. He loves all of us equally. He's lifting no man above any other. It doesn't matter what your name is. All that matters is that you are one of his children. The rock is our Lord. His works are perfect.

Central intelligence. No notes. are perfect central intelligence no notes preach the rock says take that ring shine it up real nice turn it sideways and stick it straight on your candy finger preach preacher

that's really nice and then that's kevin's cousin's husband and he has a body like a back road that's so fascinating write this kevin i'm not saying you write nothing in that damn card. I'm writing. I'm writing. You've got to write this down in the card. So much good stuff for the card. Flip it over and write on the back if you have to, Kevin. We're dropping gems.

You have really messed up, Kevin. You did something bad. Yeah. You did something bad. Now listen to this. This card should be looking like a damn cvs receipt by the time this episode's over what's your cousin's name uh michelle michelle hey jabroni could her name be stone cold steve austin because i think

it would work a lot of work for us that's gonna do a lot of work for us. That's going to do a lot of the heavy lifting. That would really help. Is there something like, if you miss show, what the rock is cooking. And Stone Cold's got scripture as well. 316 that's true yeah crossover austin 360 austin yeah it's actually austin 316 keep austin weird book of austin keep austin weird austin city limits and uh howard kramer was in austin stories um

this should help i think this will really help us get a lot of the show i mean i'm looking at the numbers yeah the numbers are going up right now even as we record this just because these ideas are so good yeah just mentioning a lot of traction yep when kevin said and maybe i just dreamed this but when kevin said he was gonna lay the smacketh down on his cousin's husband's curvy ass i i saw the numbers spike and there was like a very definite peak that we hit so that's huge kevin did you say what our um our patreon address is for people do you know like the url uh it's patreon.com slash the flagrant ones and the p.o box is 100 universal city way california that's that's a full address yeah that's where hogwarts is it's not a p.o box that is sorry p.o box 34 hogwarts lane also

jason capono.com too right jason capono.com that's for t-shirts only but we should probably make make our patreon patreon.com slash jeopardy yeah we have that that would be huge yes well i as kevin would say this has been a podcastus excellentus bye bye here comes haze and sean hollywood handbook this week on the patreon the boys divide and conquer a creative writing exercise carl and asan pick their number one fast food chain and the flagrant ones discuss this week's basketball news check out the show's five days a week plus video content, all at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones.