Hollywood Handbook - Carl Tart and Brandon Gardner, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

CARL TART and BRANDON GARDNER (In the Know) help The Boys make a new TV show. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Okay, so I just want to kind of get out in front of this recording. I want to say, obviously, we're going to talk about what you two have been up to, and I want to do my best to promote your show. Congratulations on the show. Brynn and Carl are are here but i also do have moss and um i want to read you a little bit about there's two things i want to read to you so please don't interrupt me brandon specifically i'm looking at it's a drink yes this is a drink

so we are living moss today and so i am i'm going to live moss with this beverage and i just want you know i'll probably having physical reaction to it and if i seem like oh that's not how sean usually behaves this is why a treasure i'm gonna stop you right there hey brandon i just want to let you know that on this show yeah like don't interrupt sean okay don't like that's important yeah okay don't interrupt him don't like don't stop him when he's trying to do his thing it's kind of like you know gotcha when they're in their zone this is not this is not the show that i host i know right right we do this is the show that i host and i can i just want to second that don't interrupt him because when he

comes back he's gonna be bigger louder just like kind of a very defensive place and like trying to stop that from from happening on a dog leash or something yes yes yes bigger louder chris rock bigger wow yes yeah that's i'm that's the same comparison i always use chris rock bigger and blacker yeah yeah it's like that i yeah and it's like that. And it is punitive when I start speaking again after being interrupted, just so you know. A treasure beneath our sails. There is a wild forest beneath the waves, rich with natural wonders.

Take the plunge, embark on a journey to faraway shores and uncover one of the ocean's best kept secrets. Unleash your wildest self. But then look at this. This is pure flavor a wild crafted sea moss beverage supporting energy okay cool mood oh that'll help the show and libido so could go either way wow unfortunately i need to drink this because i need my energy i need my energy and mood improved unfortunately

i will become incredibly horned throughout the course of this episode and that's something i try to leave outside you know i i try not to bring that into the show but it is um going to uh support my libido and uh i don't know what that looks like for all of us just the brandon was right at the edge of interrupting me i just want to say it was very close to like i didn't hear a question so yeah and i was listening pretty closely i like to listen this part the big part of my hosting is listening and i didn't hear a question yeah so um so let's just let's get into the show i'll probably crack this puppy open i'll let you know what the pure flavor tastes like it says shake well and enjoy cold hurry up hurry up sean's gonna be doing this

show dick hard as chinese yeah and then enjoy hot whoa all right so it brandon's here brandon gardner but you haven't been very constant have you it's been quite a while inconsistent you here you just have one sip excuse me i'm a little worried hang on hang on hang on hang on can you interrupt noises can you interrupt like if sean's doing a run of noises if it sounds anything like tim the two-man taylor do not interrupt okay yeah you have a show now Carl is a voice talent on the show

you co-created it with Zach Woods and we will get Zach on here we'll like it's just I saw that he did Bridger's podcast last week which normally is a bridge to doing ours yes i know he really wants to do this i think i've asked him four or five times and he always seems

so excited um and obviously this came about kevin you can confirm through the kind of booking people the promo people for your show and of course we said you know let's get carl and brandon first gotcha because we need obviously the peacock people to handle that yes for us to be able to get in contact with you guys and then for zach i'll probably just go directly to him that makes sense i will be honest i thought i was doing the show a couple weeks ago and the day before i was like i haven't gotten any confirmation and then a peacock care person was like oh yeah you're not doing it i don't think zach was available and i wasn't aware of that yeah so this is i'm ready to really yeah and so when you warned me about interrupting i was like

that's going to be hard because i I've been thinking up things for weeks. I'll tell you what else is going to be hard is my... Well, I'm a little worried if you get upset at me for interrupting how that drink will affect it. It's like a horny Chris Rock. Yeah, it is. That's one thing about Chris Rock. He never was very horny, was he? He doesn't come across as a real sexual person.

No. Yeah, I do notice. he only even thinks he loves his wife yeah that's like that's not the whole it's not horny at all yeah no when you're and i can confirm like i'm halfway through this drink and my feelings for my wife the flames there's no there's no thinking about it no it's not it's i don't think i love my wife i need i love my wife wow top five let's name the top five times with most money for our wives yes when i drink moss yeah number one when i'm about to drink moss. Because I know what's going to happen when I get that moss in me. When I'm at war. Yeah, and a war is a big one for me. Halftime of the Super Bowl.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Depending on who's performing for me. Sunday post-church dinner. Right. Yeah. Big family dinner. And I just want to take her under the table i've been at church which yeah the imagery around there yeah there's a semi-nude man

who takes care of himself up there. And that starts making me think like about my own body. Right. Is anybody else experienced this? Every time I see him. Yeah. And then you go like, well, maybe I should disrobe a little bit.

And then once I start doing that, I think maybe somebody else should do this too. Yeah. So the show, the show's called in the know i gotta create a show man dude yes i've been telling you yes i've been like thinking about doing this i gotta just do it i gotta do you got an idea you're excited about i gotta just bite the bullet and have an idea and like i don't right now but like i gotta have an idea i know i'm just getting bored and i think that like for me so much of my journey in this industry has been not uh creating a show yes and having it go on to like a streamer or something

but like i see you guys doing i'm just like i gotta do this you know what it looks pretty fun and yeah i think i'll do it you know i i think i gotta do it too i mean would you recommend it well it's interesting because for me i've i was for a long time i was just like maybe i just won't be involved in this industry at all okay and then i was like maybe if i make a show yeah i'll do that under those circumstances i would right yeah you're kind of like take it or leave it yeah i don't want to show i don't want to write on someone else's show that doesn't interest me yeah i've had those offers yes yeah time to put your foot down and just go like you want to make my show or you want to lose all this all that yeah it's really one or the other

these days it's either nothing like total disconnection from like everything that is happening in the industry or being completely in charge of a massive creative endeavor that employs hundreds of people and that's and you just kind of like go back and forth and like yeah it's it's an interesting uh um position that we find ourselves in now where it's like i'm either yeah i'm either gonna make a show which i've been thinking about doing and i think haze you mentioned you might do it yeah i should do it yeah what i might do is i hear about other people doing i'm just like yeah like right now i am just here i'm here which is fine too yeah you know but like i've been thinking i gotta do this every time i read an article you know like all these articles well every time i turn on the tv there's another

show yeah and i'm like i should one of these i should it's a little like running like getting into running or something right like i know i should do it but i have a busy week christmas is coming up yes my these old knees these old knees and the advice i would give is make a limited series right you don't have to come out of the gate. You don't run a marathon. You don't sign up for a marathon and run it the next day. You'll get hurt. Do a 5K. You know what I mean?

You'll never be horny. Yeah. Yeah, he never said that. You just got out of church. You're sitting at home you see buff jesus something i'm working on oh that's a show yeah i feel like creating a show rock is probably a show unfortunately all my show ideas right now are are related to chris having sex. Because it's the combination of the moss and sort of the energy in the room. And I don't know how receptive

the current TV landscape would be to me creating a show that is just POV sex with Chris Rock. I'm not sure. I think it could be interesting um and it gets around needing chris rock to be in the show if it's pov you are chris rock yeah getting down yeah he doesn't even have to get permission no no yeah it starts off with the with the ai voice pov you chris rock having sex oh oh yeah well see i just yeah carl i mean i already know look you're pre-approved as voice

talent yeah but here's you're doing it on his show problem i've got him doing this with that is that carl like in this show and all the others that he's done his characters are always named carl yeah and this character would i guess would have to be then named carl chris rock yeah or like i was carl rock well it'd be carl it'd be chris chris carl rock hard right and work in the horny part well i do think you want to promise a little bit of what you're going to deliver right but i the other thing that i know and i'm not going to say how i know this but the thing i know is that chris rock has sex with his eyes closed so so the pov aspect of it is that's well enough known. That's sort of a famous trait.

And so then we would have to kind of leave the lens cap on for a lot of it. Or it's a podcast. Then it's just sound. Well, that's kind of back to where I Yeah, I gotta create a TV show, man. I gotta get it together

and create a TV show. It's like going back to therapy. You took that year off and you went up you were in funks you're like damn why am i in the funk and yeah i'm feeling that then you create a tv show is that what it is yeah going back to therapy when the therapist is like oh my god i can't imagine how fucked up you are now after an entire year. A year. Have you not been a year? When you left, I was like, you shouldn't be leaving.

And then you've been gone that whole time. Okay. Just let me wash my hands. That's how bad it's going to be. First day back. Yeah. They're just like, okay, let's not even do therapy today. Let's just have you get used to sitting still.

therapy today let's just have you get used to sitting still like i really just i don't think either one of us is ready for what it's gonna look like when we actually do it again um but i i do want to say like whether i create a show which i think i should uh or not if you're gonna do more do one about us oh this is a limited series probably okay so in the know the other show that should be its own that should be its own category and the awards probably probably limited probably limited we make it and we don't say right we make six episodes and we're like maybe we could make more this could be 100 episodes it's hard to do those guys it's i mean it's clay yes it's gonna rain it's gonna rain all weekend so the clay i guess you don't know how it works sorry sorry it is clay oh it is yes yeah I look at it it's I stay

away from that part of the process and there it's gonna get so what it's gonna get everywhere for all the exterior shots like when you're shooting outside it's just like it's gonna be a total mess well we're doing I don't think we're doing you that show we're doing it outside for inside on a lot of these. We're putting that filter on. Do y'all remember when Homer became real and walked down Ventura Boulevard? Yeah. No.

Yeah. That was after he was in the Tron world, right? Yeah. And then he was transported to Ventura Boulevard. Yeah. I remember. Yeah. What impact did that have on you

i mean that's what really inspired my character carl yeah in in the know okay especially like because it's gonna be raining this weekend and then we gotta do those exteriors we gotta do some pickups and i'm gonna be walking down ventura boulevard not me i'm gonna be in the studio yeah but carl carl will be walking down to a little bit but him getting wet when he becomes real that's not you me me in the suit yeah no so i am kind of when he becomes real i am kind of behind him i'm in an all black suit as if i'm doing uh the lion king and i'm kind of like yeah i thought i thought that when he becomes real you go into a coma and that you can only wake up only one of them can be yes yeah when he goes back that was my

understanding of it but i guess being in an all black suit holding sticks yeah when carl goes back to therapy the therapist is thinking like okay i wonder it's been a year and maybe he is not going to talk about homer because Greenwood walking down Ventura Boulevard. Maybe that's been just kind of ironed out. Maybe what we needed was just a break. Yeah. And then now we can get into something that's happening. Okay, he is talking about it.

Okay, it's coming up again. He's asking if I remember it. All right, and he's pulling it up on his phone all right yes and so i'll be watching it again watch this how much time we got we got let's watch this we got an hour right yeah let's watch this how long is the video is the video close to an hour no no it's not that long it's just a little clip okay uh it was short but they looped it yeah they looped it and i and i just showed my therapist the loop to make sure that she sees the like this is him on ventura boulevard a lot of stuff is not open anymore right there yeah ventura boulevard's changed since then

yeah we don't talk about that man vent. Ventura Boulevard has changed, right? From when we were growing up. Mm-hmm. Used to be different stores. I remember there was a Bed Bath & Beyond in Ventura Boulevard. Yeah. And Britney Spears was there. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. Different time. Yeah.. Wow. Yeah. Different time. Yeah, it was. There was a restaurant there. Not bad. What'd they have? Tamales, maybe?

Was it a Mexican restaurant? Tamale restaurant. Or just tamales? was it a mexican restaurant you're just tamales oh you know now now i'm wondering if i'm even remembering the right place tamale ringwald's tamale ringwald yes right yeah hollywood be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language and the question that i always get people stop me and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a product it's something that you

really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language? Yes. Babbel now has visual in-person lessons. Part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages, handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks.

Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations, and that includes body-based conversations. What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date, and they turn around at the door door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and I need I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks

like an emergency I know I'm supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners i'm sure babbles tips and tools are approachable accessible rooted in real life situations at which i have all the time and delivered with conversation-based teaching so

you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University and others can't feel good to be others. They're continued to prove Babel is better. One study found that using Babel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. Babel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. All of their 14 award-winning language courses

are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee. Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners, at babbel.com slash the boys. Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys, spelled B-A-B-E-L dot com slash the boys. B-A-B-B-E-L.

B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L. Dot com slash the boys. Rules and restrictions may apply. With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy, but you'll always be glad you did it. Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me. Eating better is easy with factors, delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved,

ready to go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready to go in just two minutes, Chef Kevin is here with his new show, The Chef Kevin Factor, where he creates fresh, never frozen meals. Now, this is different, Kevin. I just want to establish. It's none of this, like, here's a pile of ingredients. Like, this is the meal. The meal has to be ready.

It's not a recipe. Okay. This is the meal. You cook the full meal for us now, Kevin. You don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet. You're actually doing the cooking. And there are 35 different options to choose from every week, including Calorie Smart, Protein Plus, and Keto. Which is this?

It's a little bit of all of them. Okay. Okay, it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah.

Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two, me walking in my bedroom. What's the second?

It's you and your bed? The bed. I got clippy. Fuel up fast with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancakes smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed. It's very simple.

It's one huge chicken nugget. Sign up and save. We've done the math. Factor is less expensive than takeout. Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com slash theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code THEBOYS50 at factormeals.com to get 50% off. The show is about this cartoon.

Tell me more about this. To do a show about a cartoon. There's something devious about it. In the now. In the now that's interesting that's it could be a second season yes but probably not probably not no probably limited probably the clay's gonna get everywhere so yeah it's uh the puppets the the there's a host of a public radio interview program, sort of like Fresh Air. Yeah.

And Zach Woods, who we were talking about before, he voices the main puppet. Yeah, yeah. And he works Carl's- Wait, these are puppets? Yeah. You keep saying that, and it's actually starting to like,

it's starting to make me pissed off. Sorry. A cartoon. Clay maker. He's like clay. Puppets made of clay. Yeah. to like it's starting to make me pissed off a cartoon but i try to cartoon it out made of clay yeah clay figures especially knowing since you know that i am becoming increasingly aroused throughout the course of the program to be talking about puppets this much is like it's a trigger for me where you're trying to sort of create a fetish uh you you obviously know that i am so vulnerable right now to becoming attracted to something new oh interesting and that like uh so this could be your thing now for a long time

well it's like a baby bird you could basically yeah you could basically curse me i would become imprinted on puppets as like uh sort of a a sexual desire whereas clay like that's fine i mean i'm already doing that yeah that's already been happening for quite a while. Yeah. So these like clay blobs. Yes. And after it's all over. Yeah. They all work together. And Carl is one of those clay blobs too.

Yeah. But then they also talk to real celebrities. Okay. And so that is actually badass. So like can we get some of these celebrities in here i we can try yeah all right kevin okay great because so far kevin has been saying we can't try yeah we can't even try you're saying that we can try i think we can try i don't know any of them yeah wait so who did who did that yeah how did this

happen because we've been thinking about doing that it's similar setup right where people are talking on a microphone to someone who's acting a little bit unusual yes that's what we've been trying to do and carl talked to them too i was not allowed no i was not allowed that was one of the big rules i was not allowed to talk to the celebrities and who did that that was zach who did the who did being the celebrities who uh kaya gerber uh jonathan van ness the gerber baby the gerber baby all growing up uh mike tyson ken burns the name of four to name a four he looked much younger than i thought he was gonna be tyson no ken burns uh i think he's got a new haircut yeah Yeah. Yeah. I thought like, I was like,

when I saw the interview, I was like, wait, when did baseball come out? I had to go to baseball a while ago. But he seemed like, I thought he was gonna be

like a real old man. He seems like he stays out of the sun. That's what it is. That's what it is right there. It's a secret. It would be cool if Cameron was really.

Yeah, a young man who makes documentaries about baseball the national parks and the civil war jazz like oh you're 25 yeah that would be cool yeah no he now just has that zoomer haircut that's like short on the sides and like curly on the side you Yeah, he's got Patrick Mahomes. Yeah. Baseball is bussing. No cap, for real. He's got a long zipper earring. The show is on Peacock all the time.

I think that's it for the moment, yeah. It's all the time. So you're saying probably probably not i don't know how these things work so this i check every day to be like is it there you know because i've been going like oh i should do a show but like because i have to i have to go create one yeah i've got to do it i've got to get off my just finally just do it and it's like just starting is what's hard have an idea yes of course of course of course but i see you do it and i go well you must have some understanding of how all this works that i don't have but then you're going you don't know when it's on Peacock, how, how long. You think Clay is puppets. And so now I'm going like, what the fuck went down?

And they're celebrities? And Kevin can't get in touch with them? It's just not adding up for me. Carl, you were on the front lines i was what happened by the way this carl character you're playing correct me if i'm wrong it seems like maybe he's had a couple sips of the moss he's a it feels like he's hot and bothered he's trying is spitting game. The whole series. Yes, he's tried to.

And what did he say? I'm touching my dick. I got lotion on my dick. I'm smoking my shit right now. That was improvised. He said that on the show. Yeah. And at first we were like, I don't know if we can fit that in.

But we're like i don't know if we can fit that in but we like we love it he said he said i'm touching my dick i got lotion on my dick i'm stroking my shit right now we had to do a lot of rewriting around that yeah because you can feel that the episode takes a hard shift sort of to accommodate that moment yeah it doesn't feel like the character i think there the character the way his mouth is moving that doesn't seem like what he's supposed to be saying well that was the free range that he had because they built they built the the clay around us we recorded before they built the clay so we were able to bring our own flair to it so i was able to say i'm touching my dick i got lotion on my dick i'm stroking my shit right now a lot of the animators quit they were

not comfortable animating just after the first part they didn't even hear the second two they already quit which by the way like this is what art is supposed to be right it's supposed to challenge you you're supposed to make the editors quit with your ad-lib line about stroking your shit and the immediacy of right now you know, like to say like it's something that you're going to do later. I just feel like it drops us right into the middle of the story. Yeah. The character is not doing it, though. Like the puppet himself is not. No, no, no, no.

He's not doing that. Yeah. Yeah. But often when people say that, I find that they're not. Right. Yeah. You know. Because if they're not right yeah you know because if you're doing it you don't need to narrate it exactly why yeah no it's like you know um uh in uh robert bresson's uh pickpocket yes the opening that's immediately the opening

narration is you know uh i understand that many people who do these things never talk about it and those that talk about it have not done it and yet I have done these things he says this to us and that really is what Carl is saying the character Carl is drawing inspiration from that by picking at his own pocket

during there's a hole in the pocket he's reaching all the way through and stroking his shit right now a little ocean yeah you gotta do a show about us man yeah i think it i think it would actually be cool because um let's face it i'm not gonna fucking create a show like i've been saying i gotta do it but like i'm just probably not gonna get my shit together and like actually i'm just looking at my week it's fucking nuts like i have um

i'm busy like i i'm just looking at the schedule and it's not going to happen for me certainly this week and next week's even crazier i have two lunches okay yeah packed like already packed but we did radio from before yes and that's sort of your area and i can i know how to fix this because i have experience with radio and so like this could be an episode as people are in a panic square falls off and then i fix it nude mike oh see the show could be about how we did the radio from before we used to have a show oh yeah called the professor in the coyote okay uh is this like a pitch are you pitching are you what and what would that mean like yeah how do you mean tell me what whatever i say what effect that has on what happens yeah i i guess i want to know if you're pitching it how professional do I need to be?

Subtle pitch for in the know because I want to know if you're pitching and he's always pushing his show I work that in all the time I work it in all the time Are you concerned that you've left your flank exposed for a review

the headline of which is in the know thank you Flank exposed for a review, the headline of which is, in the no thank you. I also thought of it. I didn't want to bring it up, but now that Hayes has broken the seal. Wow. Now I am. I wasn't before.

Very, very palpable hits. I think we've had two reviews flank that said all things considered in the nose pretty funny or something okay those lines two said two separate reviews all in the know is pretty funny in the know is a breath of fresh air there was a yes that's also been used okay what i liked was wait wait don't tell me this show is funny and there's another one that's not even a play on words it's just like this show is for no one was it no-O-W? That would have been so much more clever. Okay, they didn't even do that. Yeah. Couldn't even give you that much. Well, it could be better to do. I have This American Liked It.

I'm just trying to find other. I'm trying to find other ones. Car Talk. You're so Planet Money and you don't even know it, baby. this show with my prairie home companion that's nice that's really nice good car talk it could be better to do a show that's about me and sean yeah when we were the professor in the coyote we had this radio show the professor in the coyote that was sort of where we started out those were our roots and it was and it was fun it set the template you know that has gone on to be imitated by a lot of other uh sort of zoo crew hosts but we kicked

it off and then obviously we evolved and graduated into other things but none of the other things have really had any impact and we are willing to go all the way back uh especially if you would create the show which we both are having some trouble figuring out the yeah it's the tv show it's the getting the tv show created and on peace just to say it too, Carl could be stroking his shit in this show as well. I don't think there's nothing

would stop him. I think it actually could help. It could be the whole pilot. Carl talk. If we want to, Carl talk. Carl talk. I'm rubbing my dick. I got lotion on my dick I'm choking my shit right now Yeah if we want to throw a tarp on the Carl

Puppet so it doesn't get everywhere This weekend Well that's advice I would You have to be flexible Because our original vision of the show Was not what Carl brought And we really had to Pivot hard to that.

But that's your improv train. That's improv coming. So we should be concerned potentially that we'll put this whole show together and Carl will not be stroking his shit. We'll not have low shits on his head. It could go either direction. Yeah.

Okay. We just need to account for that possibility. Right now I'm very prepared for the version where Carl is touching his dick. Okay, we just need to account for that possibility. Right now I'm very prepared for the version where Carl is touching his dick. I was very prepared for the version where he didn't. And then I had to throw that out. Right.

I'm just, I just, every sort of scenario I game plan out through this, no matter how we start it, it does end up that Hayes and I are not involved in it by the end. Well, that was something I wanted to ask you. I keep thinking something i wanted to ask i keep yeah do you want to play yourselves because because when you did that when you did the professor in the coyote you you were young yeah we were young yeah we were young men yeah but yeah we were young adults yeah yeah shout out diablo cody do you have are there actors out there that you're like they could do they could that have that same essence that feel yeah whether or not they look like you yeah yeah

that's so interesting that are younger than us that we think i would say we're the age you were yeah i guess you're right i guess there kind of are just like seems crap but like do we just do it yeah is it just us doing it is it like a little pen 15 or yeah bring it up yeah we just sort of yeah i don't even talk about it we just kind of do it play ourselves and like nobody else really would be able to pull it off maybe i guess if i'm looking at actors younger than i am now who i think could do it maybe liam neeson maybe i'm rubbing my dick i got low sugar my dick i'm stroking my shit right now but i but but that's he could do haze but no one could do me you know right the coyote especially was such a specific tone yes because i was embodying a character you know i wasn't just being me and his was being

as professorial as he is he was bringing another element to it and so you're concerned that with how much older we are now that we would not even be able to be voice talent for ourselves for ourselves for a clay version of our younger self it's just people would be like why are those voices so old yeah it's taking you out it starts to like change it's it makes it a little sadder well what if we could write to that that the you know that they've been like you're doing the writing right yeah maybe they've been through a horrible accident like that's a story right there and you can't like if if we're recording the voices and we're like falling down which like yes it's gonna happen we're gonna obviously i'm going to be falling around the studio i'm going to be getting hurt can't you attach the mic to like

a harness around our waist and like have the mic be extending up from our waist steady mic yeah and so we're falling down but then the mic is also falling as well i'm gonna keep going i'm not gonna stop like can i have my entire up to my neck i'm in some kind of gel cube so that as i'm falling you know i'm protect there's a cushioning right and uh i'm not necessarily as mobile as i am because i'm hyper mobile i'm able to sort of you know as the second i go to stand up i'm gonna just spill off the couch and kind of be rolling around on the floor in here but if we could get a tank of a gel cube and put me there and then the mic is kind of dangled down in front of me it's like well that's pretty easy maybe i was like the margins sometimes on these tv shows i don't know how much that costs you're going to rain this weekend and get all over the gel.

Yeah, just the gel is not going to be able to hold up. Well, Carl, how did you do it? Because you're always flopping around insane. You were somehow able to record this. What happened? It was a lot of work. It was a lot of work.

I was flopping around quite a bit. Couldn't sit still. And they were getting frustrated and i just want to apologize to you brandon i'm sorry for getting so frustrated no it's all good uh we have come to an agreement uh i was able to keep the mic the the room was mic'd okay so i was able to kind of do my one flew over the cuckoo's nest thing than i do you know bouncing around yeah sure yeah you know yeah and biting at the air and stuff and uh it was everything was got everything i caught yeah they were able to piece together every part of the room yeah so that he could play

okay well uh so that's playing when you do that yeah you flop around like that you're you're having fun you don't really seem like you're having yeah you know you guys have never stayed to the end no i had definitely not stayed to the end you never stayed to the end where i stayed for what i thought was the end yeah but then it was then it was not continued every time at the end i always look over the cheeky smile and go i just play it okay so you've been really so you've been looking up and doing that and everyone's gone okay yeah i have not seen that before that would have made me feel a lot more comfortable because i but when i leave i usually get pretty scared yeah yeah and y'all leave before i finish but then i always get up and go i just play it oh that's nice yeah um i mean do you want to just like should we play a clip of professor and coyote just to get a sense of like

what yeah i mean i don't know like you know queued up brandon asking if this was a pitch is like really oh i didn't like the freak that's for you in your head i'm sorry my game i thought we would just kind of talk about i really just thought we would like yeah yeah we've like known you for a long time i kind of just thought we could hang out if you like it you like it and you want to like create the that's what i would talk about it you would make it yeah right but like honestly i feel like i'm giving this impression that i know all these industry terms uh-huh and i don't well i'm just saying really fucking hammered me with like yeah i don't even know if i used it pitch was a cudgel certainly that you used to budget me my own insecurity

coming out yeah so we could just play a clip and just be normal like that would be my preference i just have a normal conversation where i play you a clip of my old show i ask you to turn it into a new show that is kind of like the show that you've made which by the way i have been meaning to do and i pretty sure i told you that you might have yes i think i mentioned it so alice and you go do it and yeah i have one six minute clip great okay Okay. Hollywood Handbook. The Professor and the Coyote. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to The Professor and the Coyote. I'm the Coyote.

I'm sitting here with Professor H. H. Davenport. I'm Professor Hayes Davenport. You're listening to KBLI, Santa Fe's adult hits of the 80s, 90s, and now. That was Sean Colvin with Sonny Came Home. And we actually have some exciting news on that front. Sean Colvin will be performing at the KBLI Fall Ball this November 9th at the Georgia O'Keeffe Performing Arts Center in downtown Santa Fe. And make sure you stop by.

We got all the big ones going to be doing shows. We got all the stars. Edwin McCain is going to be there. He's going to sing I'll Be. Paula Cole is going to be doing shows. We've got other stars. Edwin McCain is going to be there. He's going to sing I'll Be. Paula Cole's going to be there. Paula Cole, Tonic, probably going to perform. If you could only see for you guys. Paula Cole's going to shave her armpits for that.

Oh, Coyote, you dirty dog. Oh, you sticky old dog. Sorry, had to go there. My attention yesterday. Hey, Coyote, I know you caught Shark Tank last night. Oh, yeah, I never miss an episode of that one. The Coyote and I, we love this little show called Shark Tank, and you guys know we like to do things a little differently over here on KBLI.

And one of our favorite games is a game called Tanks But No Tanks, where we play clips from the show Shark Tank, and we explain why the products are useful or just plain cool. Hollywood handbook. So can we stop this? This is really helpful. The show is like, it's right there. It's so obvious how that would sustain a full series.

It's on a platter for you. Just so I understand, it would be a little of those on-air moments. I cannot imagine what this question could possibly be. Do we see any of your life outside? Racking my brain. Just so I understand, let me reframe the most obvious thing in history, which is what this show would be. Okay.

But go ahead. I mean, do it. It's two guys who talk the same they host a radio show at santa fe in like the mid-2000s who cares i was trying to place it based on the references and your age yeah and they talk about so boring concerts that are coming up and then they watch clips from the show shark tank and they talk about why the different products would be useful or funny or cool yeah and the coil is like a little bit nasty okay he's been he's been drinking some of that moss oh wow he's dirty

he talked about paul cole's armpits your headphones on he wants to sniff them so so a lot of the things in the clip you played that would be very consistent what you like like how often are you what do you want to do no we'll change no we'll take a formula that works a fucking slam dunk okay and we'll uh just start passing it back around the gym no yeah what you just heard was so good yes like i i didn't even remember like i was like oh i hope i'm not embarrassed by this clip and i'm actually really proud of the work that we did in that clip carl you heard it i mean you're a neutral party here like yeah would you be able to slide right into that show stroke your shit right now absolutely take out your meat

i actually sent i sent a clip to kevin if could you play that clip? Sure. Is that possible? I just got a dialogue pitch. I'm over here stroking my dick. I got lotion on my dick right now. I'm just stroking my shit. I'm horny as fuck, man. I'm a freak, man. Wow. You did something with your voice.

Yeah. It's subtle. You know, that's the art of voice acting. No, you become a totally different you become totally if you're on the phone would you believe that uh homer and march simpson are voiced by the same person you know but you wouldn't know it that's voice acting like these people just transform their sound there's tools now to help them as well you know i mean it's like a lot of these singers that you hear can't sing not like i can what are some of the singers who can't sing ah jesus i mean you know look at i mean name the

radio uh yeah sean colvin john colvin can't sing sounds like ass sounds like my farting ass sounds like my asshole farting that's that's all genuinely sounds until they get the production in there yeah yeah they have these filters and this stuff and all of a sudden it's it's a beautiful song you know these songwriters they're just packaging these pop stars you know i mean who have the right look i got the wrong look i can sing like a fucking angel but you know i mean who have the right look i got the wrong look i can sing like a fucking angel but you know i'm not marketable and i won't do what they tell me i won't dance to their little uh puppet strings you know the way that your claymation uh guys do so i you know i can't necessarily get put forth and so now i'm left in this position where the only thing i can do is create my own show and i can't even do that.

So it's like they don't want to put the filters on me. They wouldn't need the filters from me. They don't want to put it on me because I won't play the game. I won't sing about what they want me to sing about. I'll sing about what's really going on. What do they want me to sing about? Consumerism, cash, cars, right? Car talk. So sort of endorsing joining the army

yeah really pro-army going to war going to war and like a very pot like patriotic loving the president yes all this stuff yes walmart that explains a lot of the pop music i listen to in the themes and he wants to sing about like real actual stuff actual things he sings has a lot of stuff about like kind of scooting around the floor on his butt okay and they're not cool with that pushing myself around yeah get my feet off the ground and using my hands to push myself all around the floor in a circle with just by my butt cheeks touching the ground they don't want they don't want people to know about that wow no no because we all need to drive a car spend spend spend no we don't we

don't need cars we we we are cars more gas fuel no no no you have you have the power to actually scoot yourself around on your butt cheeks just pushing with your hands i've heard that like la used to be a city where everyone's scooting yes exactly we act like it's always been like that built highway but no the hollywood sign was built by people who scooted on their butts but now everyone who you know moves here does it in a plane yeah and that's why we you know we do not have any more hollywood signs since then we haven't made anything that lasts since then not a single you don't make anything that lasts because you're going you're gas fuel you're in a plane you're on a truck yes and if

you go nothing you go out to marvista there's no gigantic sign that says marvista there's not even a hill you know what marvista translates to tell me because i've learned this and forgotten it beach view oh okay i thought it was marv albert beach it's not sea view sea view okay hey shut up man and this is what he does though right is this a pitch it's a tactic and he creates one show one show and he gonna correct my spanish by the way i was gonna do so i'm not yeah and you forgive me if i'm not i actually remember you telling me that you had told him that i mentioned it i think i mentioned to you after i said you know i gave i had this sick ass idea i told to brandon well not that you had an idea you the idea was that you were gonna do a show the idea was to do a show yeah i will say i don't want to get you in your head but if this was a pitch you have the

tone right this is the tone you would come which i'll take the compliment this the sort of like i don't need because i know i do have it like i i understand that i do have it but what exactly what is it that i say it for kevin the sort of you need me more than i need you right energy they respond to and that's what you that's what you did yeah i mean i we didn't even i was at a party okay and a guy was like i've been i've got to do that as well you have to go to a party you gotta go to party you don't get enough i'm going to i was at a five year old's birthday party and we're it was me and another guy and we're watching like kids in a bouncy house and he's like i need something to be on peacock in january of 2024. mm-hmm and yeah he didn't even it wasn't an invitation he was sort of talking to himself yeah what am i

gonna do yeah i'm gonna get fired if i don't find that thing there's no yeah there's gonna be It wasn't an invitation. He was sort of talking to himself. Yeah. What am I going to do? Yeah. I'm going to get fired if I don't find that thing. There's no, yeah, there's going to be nothing on there. There's just a big empty space on Peacock. There's just a black square right now that says, watch now, check it out. It's like we paid all this money for this football game, and then it's going to be nothing after that? Yeah. We've got everyone in the door.

How are we going gonna lock the door behind people so excited and they said like what do we know about football fans they've been looking to take npr down a peg yes was it fun during the game hearing marv albert say this january on peacock in the know yes that was a thrill i was i appreciated how much he brought it into the telecast was uh and he wasn't contractually obligated to do that oh he was just promoting a show that he was excited he was just like he had seen i think a trailer oh wow and like something tickled him about it yeah i think he likes stop motion okay you know what i what i would like our show to be go motion oh you'd have to take me through what that is oh it's twice as fast oh wow it flies all the points in along your process where you were stopping fucking take the fucking and it's like instead of

okay we could move this freaking pinky toe right you know it's like i got shit to do i'm gonna hold it in my hand and make it walk uh-huh okay i'm just gonna go like if you hold in your hand you go like then it's walking the effect is the same you don't have to like stop it every single time do you remember when homer simpson walked down ventura boulevard yes he was real real yeah and somebody was behind him in a black suit kind of yes exactly you don't hate me i'm about to i did wonder why homer was saying that yeah it's so it didn't match up so little about the context i did would have personally let me do expect him to say that yeah he's american he seemed like a donuts guy carl's making the move

to take the headphones off and i i think it's brave what if we what if a new clip yeah what if kevin had a third clip yeah i'm just gonna have to miss it it's not what what what category is it under in the in the peacock menu so people know what uh what appetizers uh i think it's appetizers okay yeah appetizers or stuff you might like stuff you might like okay are you sure that's maybe not just for you because you created the show you love your own shit i think it's like pretty much anyone who logs on to peacock i think it's going to be there under stuff you might like okay wow stuff you might like yeah okay and it's just gonna stay there forever or like what that's what i'm figuring out i check every day okay wow stuff you might like

okay what um menu would your show be under when you actually get your act together uh what i'm anticipating and what i'm like kind of building my show around is getting it in the category amazeballs with macaroni sauce oh okay the concept of macaroni sauce to me is like how have we it's like we haven't cracked it yet as like a people you know but like if we were able to come up with macaroni sauce like can you imagine how huge that would be how popular like every kid is gonna want macaroni oh yeah once we have you dip your chicken nuggets in macaroni yes you put everything burger with macaroni sauce yes that would be really powerful and for like a slow listener like a listener who's slow on the upkeep up yeah the the macaroni sauce is made out of macaroni it's like you've taken macaroni or it's we don't know what sauce yeah this is we haven't cracked it yet exactly

and this is like i gotta i gotta get it together i gotta create a show so i can get in this category but um when i've had these conversations with peacock in the past they said that they were if if i were to get something up there they would put it in the uh in the category that says some bullshit well some bullshit okay yeah this is my issue is i've been pre-assigned my category as well which isn't really jiving with the ideas that i have amazeballs macaroni sauce sounds like it's just generally positive mine is diabolical dog walkers and and nothing that i like i doesn't give me an idea like i haven't found that's almost tougher than some bullshit. I know I can do that. Everything I think of is some bullshit.

Diabolical dog walkers, I don't really know what you would do. I don't know how to even start. You would think it would be helpful to go, okay, it's a narrow enough category that you know what you're working with. But when I come up with a dog walker idea, they're not diabolical. When I come up with a dog walker idea they're not diabolical when i come up with something diabolical they're not walking dogs yeah and i think it's the combination has left me fully paralyzed what would you carl when you do yeah when you get the carl show what uh carl talk carl tark what wait can i is it carl talk or carl car truck Carl Tark. Carl Tark. What?

Wait, can I, is it Carl Talk or Carl Tark? Carl Truck. Carl Truck. Carl Truck. Okay. No, it's not either of what you said. It's Carl Truck. It's Carl Truck. That was way off.

What category would Carl Truck be under? I would think I would put it in like, fuck is this? Oh, that's's you can fit a lot into that yeah like pure confusion i kill for that that category yeah fuck is this that's a lot of freedom yeah fuck is this yeah in some ways my category some bullshit is an answer to fuck is this I would much rather be on the front edge where people are at least

wondering instead of having figured out that in fact it is some bullshit if you've watched one episode it sort of moves into another in the next category what are you watching some bullshit okay why are you watching? Some bullshit.

Okay. Why are you watching it? I don't know what the fuck it was. If people watch In The Know enough, it could potentially graduate from stuff you might like to stuff you must like. Yes. Stuff you have liked.

Like state. Right. Because you liked In The Know. You must like this. Yeah. That's the goal. state right because you liked in the know you must like this yeah that would that's the goal well until next time this is the professor in the coyote signing off that was a hate gum podcast