Hollywood Handbook - Chris Fleming, Our YouTube Friend

Episode Date: September 22, 2020

The Boys welcome CHRIS FLEMING to the show to share some YouTube advice. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so i'm walking around hayes man walking and i am i'm recording now you weren't recording from the beginning i'm not sure but i but i'm i'm definitely recording now so you know i just because obviously if i'm gonna react to your story it sounds like you have a story to tell if i'm gonna react to it i think we want to get both i was telling it great but you didn't know if i was going to tell i was telling it everyone else had said they were recording and i had not said it yet i would hope that you would want to get my end of things if i'm going to be reacting to it so i'm recording now i hope these reactions are i hope the reactions are great i hope they're like oh so you only want me to record it if your reactions are up to your standard like you have something planned for your reactions that's especially worthy of recording.

So let me share my story. No, I don't plan it out at all, actually. This is a free-flowing conversation that occasionally touches on mature subjects. So I don't plan it out at all. Let me share my story and it'll play out how it plays out then. But if you're worried that my reactions are not going to be up to your standard and should not be do i look worried then perhaps someone else could react to it i'm walking around and i'm playing yeah you look terrified i'm playing no i don't i'm playing leaf i'm playing gentlemen's go save the video of this kevin gentlemen's go is terrified of course

pokemon go with the league of extraordinary gentlemen's and it's it's not it's not like a phone thing it's like a live action game where you go around you walk around and you wait to hear them make one of their sounds like different members of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen making their sounds and it's like the Pokemon so it's like instead of Pikachu or whatever you hear

like Alan Quatermain Alan Quatermain Captain Nemo Captain Nemo Sw Captain Nemo. Swords for 200, right? It's Sean Connery. Well, no. Swords.

He doesn't do... No, they don't do that. It's not really Sean... So this is what's... Do you have a net? Sorry? Do you have a net to catch them? No, you just have to use your...

Great. So let me tag out for a second just obviously you had a reaction that you wanted uh your friend here is giving it to you you didn't even want me to record mine so just tell him the story tell this man the story and i'll just chill out for this one he this is just to me now so the full reaction is on my shoulder she's all yours i mean what he did was he asked a question which i really appreciated and i think more often when i tell stories it's nice to be asked questions instead of to be told a story that happened to the person that who are you talking to are you talking to me i'm not recording anymore. I'm actually speaking

very generally. Just of what I like, what I appreciate when I'm telling a story is sometimes... Great. Well, you won't be interrupted because I'm not recording now. Kevin, are you getting his side of it? I stopped mine. Okay, but are you getting his side of it? I have a backup, but I can turn it off if

Sean would prefer. Does Sean have a Nest Cam that you could use the audio from i set the mp4 okay yeah just use that sean are you holding binoculars right now yes i can turn off my video if it helps you focus i guess on hayes's story yeah no no no no i i can do both but I'm not I'm just not gonna look at you okay Hayes go for it so to answer your question Chris you don't use a net you use just your arms to respond to Sean's statement about uh whether Sean Connery is doing not even himself doing Daryl Hammond's impersonation of him from Saturday Night Live no that doesn't happen it's not really sean connery they have actors playing these characters so it's kind of like a haunted hayride type thing yeah exactly except for the fact that like so the movie came out a while ago

obviously and sean connery was already pretty old but it is the same person is this like an anaheim community theater troupe or something it's it's tustin it's really close to anaheim actually okay okay so it's you know tustin of course yeah they give over the whole town to this basically my god you guys three times a week the entire town plays gentlemen's go do they get reimbursed at all who's they the town no they? The town. No, they pay. The town pays. Oh, sorry. I thought you meant the town is the gentleman.

It's not going so smooth anymore, is it, Hayes? He's asking questions. You wanted questions, and now some of these questions are actually derailing the entire show. Why just the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? See, now you're getting bogged down in the questions questions can be thieves can't they haze and statements can be gifts i will say there is a certain number of questions that is kind of the optimal amount for me i don't know whether we've reached it or yet yet or not you think i'm too curious okay why and i actually wasn't saying that i was saying okay i'm gonna try a new technique tell me a fact from the story the fact from the story is any fact from

the story this is my new technique if you call it a story at this point it's just a q a now just a fucking q a i didn't catch tom sawyer i did see him aha uh i caught two dorian grays two yippee yippee and that's nice and also i'll tell you something else else that i like just a nice affirmation john never once has said and no. And now there's no engine for this show. I don't know what that would be like. I'm not sure what that would be like as a host of this show. So I can't actually tell you whether I would like it or not. That's outside of my experience.

Is it friction or is it brings the energy or is it toxicity? You know? Yeah, no, I don't know. Chris, tell me so this is from well yeah you're asking more than one leading it's a leading and as the only person actually who has who has a store who has a story about shane west that they've told on the podcast before uh i'm just sitting this one out Wow Okay so we're being deprived of an opportunity For you to tell a story

To retell a story That you have already told Yes to retell a story about Shane West Yes and it's that you look like Shane West Right Well That's not the whole story But that's a big part of it So the story is that you look like Shane West That's not the whole story. But that's a big part of it.

So the story is that you look like Shane West? That's part of the story. No, actually, that's not the story. That's part of the story. Is it the middle of the story? Is it the beginning or the end? So Forrest Gump is about running? No, it's about the entirety of this amazing human life this man lived.

Touched on all these pieces of history. Does he run in the movie? Yeah. For quite a bit, actually. It's not a movie. That's not the movie. You looking like Shane West takes a bigger share of the story than running does does in the movie forest gum no it does not no it does not really that's true here's the story chris and after this i'll tag out i do

want to say i i want to introduce chris first of all welcome to hollywood handbook and insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. We have Chris Fleming as a guest. Yep. Comedy impresario, multimedia, independent voice on this scene. He is doing podcasts now as well. He's guesting on shows.

We're excited to have him before the show I made the mistake of mentioning to Sean that I had met Chris before so I'll send Sean to a tailspin I've got two stories to tell I'll take it from here

Chris so the first one is this. I was working at a dry cleaner. The woman who was a regular customer was the mother of a very popular girl from my high school. This was several years after high school. Everyone else I knew was in college and I was working at a drag leader in my hometown.

The woman came in with her daughter. She pointed at me. I went to get her order and she didn't have any clothes. And she said, see? And her daughter, who recognized me, sort of got kind of sheepish and a little bit embarrassed but not as embarrassed as i was because what was going on and i said sorry can i help you are you dropping something off and the the woman the regular customer said no we watched a walk to remember last night and i told my daughter you have to see this boy at the dry cleaner he looks like this boy in the movie and so just while it's fresh in

our minds your resemblance to shane west is the is you might even say the entirety of the story you took a little no no no i hear what sean's saying that is a that is legitimately a story that is no i i agree that it is a place. I agree that it's a story. I'm talking about the share of the story occupied by the concept of Sean resembling Shane West. It's the blow. There's a little side to the story about like to establish your, I guess, like hard scrabble background that you worked on a dry cleaner after high school. But that is not really part of the story when it is but compare it to how much of forrest gump is about running

it's about so much other stuff that's true the the shane west appearance is probably or a resemblance is probably about 85 of that. Forrest Gump runs the braces off of his legs at like minute 22 of the movie. He then runs his way through a full college scholarship. He runs all of his friends out of the Vietnam War, saving their lives. Then he runs across the entirety of the United States and back and becomes an international phenomenon for doing this. It is the spine of the film that this man is an accomplished runner. I agree it is about many other things because in addition to him

running, we develop this character as a human being, a man with flaws, a man with feelings. As I, the dry cleaner kid from a heart-scrabble background, as you so snarkily put it, when actually it was pretty tough working at that dry cleaner. I am someone

who has feelings, in case you've forgotten. I am a human being. I'm a person. And it's about where I was in my life. It's about who the characters are who are coming and talking to me. On the one hand, it's humble brag, right? Ooh, I look like movie star Shane West. What did the girl say to you that you knew?

I look like the Cheshire dry cleaner version of Shane West enough that this woman drags in this superstar successful girl. Yeah. The field hockey team captain. This woman drags in this girl, this superstar successful girl. Yeah. What did she say to you? This field hockey team captain. Chris is asking you a question. When her mom said this boy to you, in earshot of you, said this boy looks like Shane West. What did the girl who knew you, who was very, very popular, what did she say to kind of cut through the...

Because I'm sure you didn't... She kind of gave like... She was like, uh-huh, okay. She didn't say, oh, hi, Sean. It's good to see you, Sean. No. Okay. Ah.

Did not engage with me as a person. It kind of reminded me of the way Hayes has been treating me today. How did you react? What did you say? I was like, oh, yeah. I can see why this story ended where it did. So there was no social grace to be found in this guy.

I ain't Hayes, man. I'm not here to answer questions. The story's the story. I'm going to give you the relevant information when I tell the story. That's true. I'm not game of cat and mouse here. There was a little fat to the story i'm gonna give you the relevant information when i tell the story that's true i'm not this is not game of cat and mouse here there was a little fat to the story that's true so so here's the other story i start this podcast with my buddy

i don't know i thought it was going pretty well and all of a sudden he starts talking about this other guy who's so funny. I go, I never heard of this fucking guy in my whole damn life. I don't know who that is. He goes, oh, he's so funny. You start with fucking and then you go to damn. He's hilarious. He's so funny. We got to have him on.

I go, all right. Okay. What does he do? He's like, oh, he's funny. funny then i go i think it's done i go all right you know let the baby have his bottle we'll put the guy on the show i am inundated with texts from fucking kevin bartell of like chris is doing this other show he's killing it. He's so funny. He's on fire. He's cracking up. Kevin, who is my employee, he works for me. Okay. He's not supposed to be.

With Hayes, okay. We're a little bit on equal footing. It's my idea. He's not your employee. He's not your employee. Yeah, he's not going to be anymore. Look, and on this one, I do have to take Sean's side. anymore look and and this on this one i do have to take sean's side uh he may not work for us directly but he works because of us direct okay okay you got the binoculars up is that the end

of the story as far as i'm concerned so you're here chris and good luck to you i'm uh that's what you say when you're signing off you don't say that i don't say that in the beginning i am signing you're actually leaving i will be laying back in the cut and i will watch and learn what's so funny to haze that makes him just laugh so much and i look forward to it i'm sure i'll enjoy it part of this i and i am really sorry about this chris and not that i didn't know i did know no it's okay it's okay but part of this i and i am really sorry about this chris and not that i didn't know i did know no it's okay it's okay but part of this is the other show that you were on was amy richter's questions three yes did you say amy richter yeah yes yes yes yes yes the three

questions and that yeah and so maybe this is where all the question asking energy came from is you you think that this is no i'm just a very good podcast but it's not yeah uh and i said it very clearly andy richter uh and and i'm sorry this is this is sean you know this is coming from what sean is doing uh and that show was one that is it has been suggested to andy that we be guests on at some point, and he said no. Okay, yeah, this isn't a conversation for us. And he said no specifically to me.

Yeah, I mean, I get that. He said that Hayes could do the show by himself or Hayes could do the show with you. Well, there's a very confrontational energy that you have, you know, that I think maybe he doesn't need in his life. I think that might be the problem. Well, I'm sure Andy coddled you on the show and it was a big warm bear hug. And I respect and admire the man for his approach to show business.

You think he was my wet nurse? Is that what you're suggesting? He is kind of saying that. I'm not suggesting it. I'm outright stating. This man allowed you to suckle from his teat i don't i don't have any more wet nurses sean any more no you went you went through a lot of them it's during the pandemic of course i don't have any more wet nurses man now i'm the one asking questions how many did you have prior to the pandemic not a ton ballpark it oh by the way let me just say this baker's doesn't for anyone who is not still paying your wet nurse like like you should continue paying them while they are not able to come to your house and work right with you i am still i'm still um fedexing them a ton of money

you have to yeah you have to keep there do you know they're all in tampa all every one of them lives in tampa so uh they all they all live near the international airport in tampa so i've been sending a lot of uh a lot of cashier's checks to them was that was that difficult while they were working for you yeah the commute was uh treacherous you would go to tampa and you you would i was in sarasota where you'd be met at the airport by 13 wet nurses i live in sarasota i oh that's not bad that's not bad. That's actually a nice story. There's a nice, that long bridge you drive over. You live in Sarasota? Yeah, man. Siesta Key,

baby! Yeah, you too. You're in Quincy right now, right? Take me to Siesta Key, brother! Let's see this. I never know what it is, but there's like a button that brings a person that's different, but now you're making sense to me

yeah he's conveniently left that out i haven't seen i i don't even recognize your face with that grin now my brother i'm i i feel like i have face blindness right now i feel like a new person's in the chat since you warmed up when you heard up when you heard me drop the soda. We just nodded like Johnny Carson. Don't give me that. Don't give me that nod. Hey, man.

I'll give you whatever you want. You hooked me up with a ticket down to Sarasota, mama. And it's just a hop, skip, and a jump over to Siesta Key. Just because he lives there doesn't mean that he can like that he can get you a ticket to sarasota more than like any anyone else could they don't have local rates do they have local rates to travel to sarasota that's it's what do you mean local rates like from where to where sarasota you know me and my boys call it sharasota where the y and your girl is silent oh you're saying it's a swingers community yes okay

sharasota baby i don't know it is a swingers community i don't think that's what it's no i think it's actually just like a lot of former nuns kind of i don't think that's what it's known. I think it's actually just like a lot of former nuns. I don't think it's really a swinging. There's like a big circus culture there too. Oh really? But I don't know about anything real. And who swings more than the circus, right? Yeah, the acrobats.

Do you know any kids that went to circus camp as youths? Who are you asking? Both of you guys. What do you mean who am I asking? We actually involve uh the engineer and this is engineer jordan uh and of course our producer kevin as well they actually are involved in the show and oh amazing and are like human beings that we uh talk to and

interact with i know andy likes to keep a lot of distance. Yes. Kevin was wearing a muzzle, actually, during Andy's, during the whole thing. So that's why he was texting. He was only able to text Sean how good the episode was.

Yeah. We want to talk, Chris, we've got to talk about YouTube. Look at this. Wow. episode was yeah yeah we want to talk with chris we got to talk about youtube right right look at this wow i got warnings from my reps that you were going to be um uh that you're interested in breaking out on youtube we are thinking about doing this for real really yeah in earnest we've been tiptoeing around it yeah we've done multiple episodes with this exact same premise but we're we're now looking at it in a new we have a new guest on today and we're doing it in a new and different way and it's 2020 isn't it

it is the it's one of the first times we've done this episode this year. But one thing that I think we've never really focused on in having this conversation is... And it's so weird for me because this is what I just naturally kind of like drift toward with my interest. YouTube. No, I'm going to say what it is. I already said YouTube. And again, the questions have become... I want to talk about the... More harm have become... I want to talk about the... More harm than help.

I want to talk about the gear. Right, of course. I want to talk about the shopping list at Circuit City, where what do we pick up to have... What's the full kit to do youtube like this right what do we need speaking of circuit city do you know anybody who went to circuit camp as a kid we'll call back to chris's question so um you know obviously we're gear heads and we really want to know what we what we need to launch into the stratosphere. And a quick story about gear that I think we'll all relate to.

So I was going tubing with a community of friends. You ever tube? Not YouTube. River tubing. Okay. Yeah, it's leisure leisurely i like to lazy float and as we're preparing to embark and you know get get into the water there's a little shop uh just outside the drop-in and one man walks out of the shop and and on his sunglasses we see he has purchased and applied a set of croquis love croquis so that in the river if his sunglasses were to fall off of his face or if you

were to rest them somewhere boom they're on the neck and they become a necklace and a piece of jewelry and very uh luxurious and beautiful in their own way yeah sean that's a i mean that's a great thing to have but it's not going to help you um in terms of like filming gear like that's more about protecting eyewear from falling off during a sporting water but yeah but the point will remain i i think you'll find that within moments every other person waiting for the tubes had purchased croquis and a gentleman turned to me and he's watching he's just shaking his head the the gentleman who had bought the croquis first and he goes man gear is contagious that's three stories the life that you the the way that you seem to uh go through life reminds me very much of nick carraway and the great gatsby and that people just

say these things to you sean and and and you you come off as a very um bold gentleman from behind the microphone but but just based on the very those two glimpses into your actual life i imagine participant that you're very passive and you're very, very quiet when these terrible things are happening to you. You're the second person to call me Nick Carraway from The Great Gatsby. The first, my high school theater teacher who was arrested for molesting his students. Come on, man. Are you serious?

I swear to God. He said that you were like nick carraway he said he said you're sort of a nick carraway type aren't you fuck why are you putting me in that camp i apologize that is so messed up that is another story i mean that counts you are you also just just the way that these have been seared great teacher the way okay the way that these have been seared into your mind that that is also why you are in a caraway because because the caraway remembered all that stuff that's right it's crazy how much it's like why did you remember that a life of reflection yeah right yes what the fucking beagle smelled like what the beagle yeah

chris what kind of what kind of stick do you use kimball a kimball stick yeah you got to use the kimball to point at stuff that is like happening on um in the video oh oh so you mean uh to use as a pointer just so people like so you can like point at a different thing and be like this is here's this look at that is birch what's kind of stick what would you want okay okay you actually you want a thick wood for that you don't you don't you definitely don't want like people used to use laser pointers and stuff that's very very y2k very very y2k wow that could actually so you're saying that could actually incite y2k it could bring about the y2k bug that never happened that we dodged it once it did happen it did actually

happen in some communities but no need to flirt with it yeah yeah so what you want to use to not bring about you don't hear about those communities too much anymore do you ever notice how you almost never hear about the communities that were evaporated by the y2k virus yeah no you don't nothing to hear at this point the last echoes of screams the lost city of winona no i uh so you're saying what kind of stick do would i recommend you guys use to be different things so so you're saying that in you once you've made the video you want to be able to point the good parts out of your video well you do both so while you're in the video while you're filming it you're pointing at different stuff and saying what it is in the video ideally you only ever make one video and then every other video just becomes you pointing at

stuff from the first one and it's sort of what this podcast is that's what you know these guys jake and amir yeah yeah yeah that's kind of what they do now. They play their old videos and they point at them. They're like, look at that. They react to their old videos. What was I wearing? Yeah. Wow, look at my cowlick. That kind of stuff?

Uh-huh. Right, right, right. Okay, so I think what you could use for that is kind of like a, I would say like a little piece of driftwood i think would be kind of interesting found art yeah yeah i think that could be really interesting found art yeah yeah so you could kind of hold you could kind of cradle it so you could so because a lot of people you know you think about like but you could be pointing at it kind of almost bazooka style because it's because it's kind of and if you're actually kind of like hitting the screen and stuff with the driftwood and getting that kind of wet lichen and barnacles all over the screen that's going to set you apart for and

this is the most important thing about you know branding hey my understanding is that lichen is a big part of youtube huh god god damn it christopher yeah i guess it is hopefully right hopefully there's a lot of lichen going on when you start making youtube videos like i hate that kind of thing when it does to my mind like i'm like i'm like thinking oh is there like a is there like a sub section of youtube that's about like mosses oh no he's doing a wordplay about liking of it and i just feel so i feel filthy that i have to that now i have to look for that i have to be looking i have to be a truffle pig for wordplay now and i try to live my life in my 50s in my 50s now i've tried i've i've cut that kind of thing out of my life word plays just a regular pig i'm not saying i'm not you say i'm a you just call me a regular pig you say under your breath hey you didn't call you anything you didn't call you

anything you say more like a regular pig i said you said you didn't want to be a truffle pig and i said you want to be like a regular pig and pigs are actually the smartest kind yeah they come for full afternoons they're the smartest kind of hog they have full afternoon the smartest kind of hog in the entire hog kingdom think about that did you say sorry did you say they come for full afternoons yeah a pig will come when they have an orgasm. It's a full afternoon. They come for the entire afternoon? Yeah, it's a huge setback.

Well, they got a corkscrew weighing, and so in order for the spooge to work its way through this sort of Byzantine labyrinth. But I thought it would work like the Bud Light Vortex bottle. You remember the Vortex bottle oh yeah well now i do remember the vortex bottle and i remember the commercials for it it reminds me that i teased previously that i have an idea for a car commercial chris would you like to talk about this because this could possibly be a youtube video or like a branded partnership definitely be one of these things yeah i don't i don't really see that happening but yeah no dude please feels like something ret and link could do do you know oh in that case in that case yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what sells it for me red and link the h in red okay yeah go for it go for it here you go

what if link had one too you could put that almost anywhere in Link's name and it would still be pronounced Link. If it weren't for that H, you think that Justin Timberlake in the social network came up to Rhett and Link and he said, as he's leaving the expensive sushi restaurant, I got one more thing for you. Drop an H after the R. And then he about faces and fucking sprints through the glass red and link and ret comes for a full afternoon yeah okay all right sean tell me your car tell me your car idea here's my car commercial idea so it's got you know normal guy grumpy guy

wakes up in the morning normal grumpy guy, grumpy guy wakes up in the morning. Normal grumpy guy. Grumpy guy walks through the kitchen and people are saying, hi, morning, pal, or hey, dad, or whatever. And he's going, yeah, brushing him off. He, you know, in his pajamas, shuffles out to the driveway. Sprinkler hits him. He's looking around. He's mad. He gets behind the wheel

of his GMC Yukon. Turns the key, pulls out, hits the open road, pedal of the metal, puts the window down, and we see this scowl transform into a smile and the tagline is

not before i've had my driving that's that's really smart to make driving a car as much of like a necessary morning routine experience it's addictive how long how far is he driving you think pretty far okay yeah there's like dance and stuff when now not before i've had my driving he can't function until he's had his driving he can't talk to his own wife and children he can't do anything until he leaves yeah i get i kind of get that a and b when you were the cadence with which that you were using when he turned the way that you kind of paused about the way he turned on the car i was

a hundred percent certain that the car was going to blow up explode when you when you but that's part of building that way part of building the tension okay okay so that that's not that's intentional tension yeah yeah and hopefully it's like that way where he looks at the ignition yeah and we zoom all the way in on it oh my god what if it actually opens kind of like the way casino opens where he it's first him in the car it's the him turning the key and it blows up the car you know so you think that's gonna happen but it's misdirection and then it just the rest of the commercial happens after that well that would be great and also you know hitchcock said uh you can show a scene right several people talking about sports the weather politics factoids 20 minute scene small talk around a table and then a bomb explodes okay now you've got my attention

right but if at the beginning of that conversation you pan beneath the table and show that there is a bomb that could go off at any moment suddenly the entire conversation becomes interesting that is tension that is suspense and so perhaps we show a brick of C4 wired to the clock. Also, that wasn't... Before we even show his alarm clock go off, this man who wakes up. It wasn't Hitchcock that said that. It was Catan.

It was Chris Catan? Yes. And that happens in Corky Romano. It's one of Chris Catan's big quotes. He accidentally... Was it him or quirky romano it's one of chris katan's big quote he accidentally was it him or did he steal that from one of his settlers i'm telling you like i look i don't have much time man like i don't have he does he did say he doesn't have he doesn't have much you gotta split hey i'm on your time man no no no i thought we were doing this earlier i'm not saying i have to split i'm saying i don't have much time left in my life and i'm sorry i know i i i did he

did say that before the record i apologize in his life and i was late this morning i'm three hours late to this podcast it's three hours late but you're so damn funny i'm sure it won't matter after all hayes and kevin told me chris said before, sorry, I'm happy to do this for a little while, but life is finite. I do have to do other stuff. I'm holding on by a sinew right now. Damn, bird just flew by and I didn't have my binoculars.

Sucks. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you.

I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn, and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language? Yes. Babbel now has visual in-person lessons. Part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as

three weeks babbles designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them. They're pulling it. What does that mean? Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something.

They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i'm supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost

and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as I'm going. That's what I've been doing. Dangerous. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others, can't feel good to be others there, continued to prove Babbel is better.

One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee. Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners right now. Get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners

at babbel.com slash the boys. Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys spelled b-a-b-e-l.com slash the boys b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash the boys rules and restrictions may apply with babbel we can't promise it'll always be easy but you'll always be glad you did it kind of like this podcast except it is easy for me eating better is easy with factors delicious ready to eat meals every fresh never frozen meal is chef crafted dietitian approved ready to go in just two minutes speaking of ready to go in just two minutes chef kevin is here with his new show

the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on

and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to do supposed to help you stay a lot of these i know give you a ton of energy they have like smoothies and things like that reservation for two me walking in my bedroom what's the second it's's you in your bed? The bed. I guess Clippy.

Fuel up fast with Factor's restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are. Pancake, smoothies, and more. Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day, like breakfast, midday bites, and more. No, we didn't even... This is not even up for consideration. So let's just hear what the actual meal was.

What was the food? I don't want to go to bed. It's very simple. It's one huge chicken nugget. Sign up and save. We've done the math. Factor is less expensive than takeout. Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious.

Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code the boys 50 to get 50% off. That's code the boys 50 at factor meals.com slash the boys 50 to get 50% off. Hey guys, rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. You can see all your subscriptions in one place. And if I see something I don't want,

I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know oh that one's got an end point by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not

they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette. It was a raspberry vinaigrette. It was a French raspberry vinaigrette dressing. They'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill

and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about Hollywood memorabilia. You're talking about, like, ornate gowns, you know, in some cases. And so that was, yeah, that was costing me a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. Stop wasting money on things you don't use.

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Hollywood handbook. com slash the boys rocket money dot com slash the boys what kind of email do you use to send the video to send the video out to uh like to industry well first guys on youtube first oh you mean you got an email i think we have to send it to sorry i think we might be a little confused yeah uh chris um you're skipping a step i think before we send it out to the industries we might be getting ahead of ourselves and i think we should send it to youtube i'm so sorry you're you are absolutely right that is too funny yeah chris i'm chris i'm, I don't mean to...

That is too funny. No, we'll send it to YouTube first. Jordan, don't laugh. Jordan, don't laugh. Come on. I know you knew what he meant, but... Kevin's putting his fist through the drywall right now. That's how he's reacting.

Now, okay, so what email do you want? You want a bold email. You want an equal amount of letters and numbers to make it a strong email oh wow yeah yeah so fortune favors the bold email yeah so sean what would you what what what comes to mind with that prompt for you if you were to the same amount of letters as numbers and you also need to pick your dot com for before you make the email man you don't okay you don't this is a misnomer to think that you actually have to buy the domain for to have that email you don't so it can be you can just write whatever you want in there sean at clements.com and it's fine and that's it

that's the email but when i think bold i think hot chili mac okay okay is that am i alone here that would be maybe that could be like a fun password but it doesn't really um kind of convey who you are you know and now you want me to be nick dot carraway at uh no maybe like dried cleaner sean west maybe it could be interesting shane west no but it's close yeah dry cleaner shane west and harvard hayes i think would be the two that we would sean actually went to harvard that was that i am sort of harvard hayes by my affiliation with sean at this point but no, he's been allowed to attend some of the functions and stuff

as my plus one. I've let him tour the attic of the castle. Had to blindfold him to get him in. Did you let him hang out with the eunuch that sings to you in the morning? The sweet eunuch song? I let him hold the eunuch's tunic because it happened to be in

the dryer at the time that we were in there touring the attic and so i took it out and i let him hold and fold the tunic of the eunuch the eunuch's tunic yeah i saw a red link video recently where they were like we tried every one of these different pop tarts and they were like, we tried every one of these different Pop-Tarts. And they were all awesome. We're sick as hell. We've tried every Pop-Tart. We ate every Pop-Tart and they loved the last one as much as the first one. We have jaundice. Our families have jaundice.

Get us out of here. Their families got contact jaundice. Airlift us out. But for that, is the email just like hey guys so in this video we ate all these different pop tarts they paid us to do this what about the email ret and link at pop darts dot pop tarts dot net that could be kind of interesting that's really good and that might even slip through the cracks that they might just see who it's from and be like well because it sounds like a viral video.

If it ain't broke. Then we might not have to send it to YouTube. Yeah. Then we could send it straight to industry. If it's from redandlink at popdarts.net. So here we had this big laugh at Chris's expense, but because of his email hack, he's actually allowing us to skip the initial step. I read a theory in the the new york times that

read it or you have it i guess you have it now that you've read it i read it yeah i i don't have i'm just i'm gonna tell you that that red and link were actually made by phil tipkins who was who was uh he made all the things for starship troopers he made all those different all those little creatures brain bug yeah there's, there's this theory going around that Rhett and Link were made by him. And that he has like three of them in the Bay Area that he kind of, and they kind of sentience and vlog from that studio. I thought that was interesting. You're saying that Rhett and Link are practical effects.

That's what I'm saying, yeah. I don't know if that's true, but I read that. Or that they started as practical effects and and perhaps that this point they have become sentient they've become sentient i i do have a friend who has the gift and i did show him a retin link video where they were eating different pop tarts and we got about halfway through video and he said pause it and he placed his hand upon the screen okay and he turned to me and he went they're scared he felt that through the screen he felt it like like et and elliot he could feel well more like neil patrick harris and starship

troopers when he touches the brain that is wow okay they're both movies yeah sure dude yes movies with aliens no you're closer than you think what kind of uh wait the friend in that story, was that supposed to be Hayes? Your friend that watched it? No, it wasn't. I don't have the gift anymore. No, but I have a story about people telling me I look like Neil Patrick Harris if you want to hear it. Are you serious? Yeah, well, the first time I went to a bar

with a fake ID, they were like, this is not really you. You can't possibly be old enough. And I was like, no, the first time I went to a bar with a fake ID, they were like, this is not really you. You can't possibly be old enough. And I was like, no, I am. And then the bartender started calling me Doogie Howser, and then everyone at that bar called me Doogie Howser, all the regulars, for the rest of the time I was there because he said that I was like, you know,

the same way he was so young to be a doctor, I was too young to be drinking milk. Right, I got that. I'm not really that you look like Neil Patrick patrick it was but it was that was the implication a little bit i can't tell if it's that that that um that principle where like if you're told something you then believe it but i'm covering your lower face with my point with my pointy and i definitely see see a little uh neil patrick in you right now that could be a great thing to use a big washed up log for just to cover up different parts of the of the body who do you see now the screen

of the body yeah who do you see now oh that's really smart cover up like the eyes what kind of gear okay do you use if you're uh if your phone falls on the ground, what do you use to pick it up? Or what do you do? Or if it's in the toilet, I mean, just answer the ground. Yeah, like while you're doing one of these videos. Yeah. Yeah, so this is actually a thing we've been running into. We've been doing these videos and suddenly the phone is in the toilet.

I use a chain lasso. A lasso? A Ted lassoso so yeah i say lasso but i use it i use a chain lasso that kind of um i like the impact that it makes when it hits the phone well the grip on those babies yeah yeah it's almost like another appendage if you can just swing it in the bathroom, and it's a long chain. Whoop-ah! Kusher! Kusher! Kusher! If you remember when Chandler was unable to make the whipped sound effect correctly,

he said, whoop-ah! And that makes me think of that chain. The Friends episode where he's trying to do, they're supposed to go, whoosh! But he's going, whoop-ah! Anyway. You have to do a really tight swing in a in a bathroom so there's gonna be some collateral damage but that could be part of the video then

you then a video pointing out all the stuff that got broken with your big stick do you ever see the the weird episode of friends where uh phoebe escapes the gator i saw the one maybe it was the first half of it i saw when she was in like imprisoned by the gator no it's right after she got out of women's jail and then and then she tries the whole the whole premise it's 30 minutes of her trying to remember if you zigzag or or or if you um or if you roll up to get away from a gator. And it's actually super interesting. There's no live audience. And the second half is huge claymation. Huge claymation.

Huge claymation. I'm used to claymation being so small. Yes. This is big, big stuff. No, no, I'm talking astronomical. The difference between, yeah, you guys are talking about chicken run. I'm talking about Wallace the difference between yeah you guys are talking about um chicken run i'm talking about wallace and gromit claymation wallace and gromit claymation was bigger than we could even imagine if how big you never saw anything to scale no it's true it

it was it was truly it's unfathomably large actually no i now that you're mentioning it it's not true that you never saw anything to scale there is accidentally yes that's true and accidentally in one of the wallace and gromit shorts they left in a single frame where there was a real a volkswagen thing a Volkswagen thing, which is sort of this like armored, like car van. It's like, and it's the size of a fucking peanut next to Gromit's paw. Right. But you can see if you freeze it, you can see, and you could zoom in this car is,

you know, got to be 2200 pounds. This car, it's a very, it's a heavy car right before they cut to the to the credits you you accidentally do see laguardia airport in its entirety and it's when you said peanut that's what that interested me sean because this was actually this was actually the size of of an ant's eye how big this LaGuardia Airport was. LaGuardia Airport was.

So this Volkswagen thing must have actually been huge as well. No, no. The camera was closer to it. Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Okay, it's a perspective thing. To think that LaGuardia Airport would be smaller than a single piece of Wallace's beloved cheese. smaller than a single piece of wallace's beloved cheese and also if you're gonna work so hard to to try and not show things that are just why not just

make it smaller that's what i don't understand yeah it is why they did it so big why did it have to be tall why did gromit have to be the size of the concord but then they went i guess they figured it out with chicken Run and you said those were the chickens were very small. That's what's interesting about Chicken Run is they're actually microscopic. You couldn't even if you had an electron microscope

you cannot fathom how small they are. So they went a little further. You keep saying I can't fathom stuff. Buddy I could fathom quite a bit. the dvd extras of chicken run they actually do put a volkswagen thing next to some of the chickens the entire farm literally could fit like the the farm and the entire basically city that they live in and chicken run can fit inside the like point of the w inside the like vw symbol

so it sounds like someone who works at claymation studios drives a volkswagen it's kind of it's possible i don't know and i yeah it's called a car van i guess it's almost like a jeep it's a it's a funky looking like a geo tracker or like an isuzu or something uh i guess more like a geo track yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the that's the family yeah yeah the paper mache geo tracker kind of thing that's a lightweight vehicle well it looks it actually looks um sturdy it's got a weird shell to it that looks like armoredy it's a you know it's like gp it's an odd you know gp is kind of like a defender or something yeah i found bad i found it kind of cute when you said the word gp sean i didn't like it i liked i i thought actually found it endearing when you

i was finally endeared to you when you said gp i was earlier when you when you grinned for the 49 minutes in when you when you grinned early you won me over at 49 yeah honestly fastest i've ever done it you were saying chris you were saying something oh i was trying to get back let's loop back to your important question about if you're saying to for your youtube for your youtube career you're wondering about the gear about if you drop a phone what to pick the phone up with that's the that was the question right that's just what we have found ourselves like yeah sean said we do this episode every month and a half or so we're in a loop i'm just in a loop kind of no you're not in it i look you're what and no offense once this episode is over you're done and that's that and that's not like like like there's no disrespect that's just how the show works

like every time the episode ends the guests what do you mean done like i'm i'm gone it's over it is over you're gone yes oh my god we come back we come back so i'm nowhere after this that's it yes done okay okay i will say that takes my breath away a little bit actually thinking about you no you are a lot and i will say this chris oh oh i'm still gonna be around yeah you'll be around yeah and in fact nobody who has ever been a guest on this show has ever died oh thank god okay thank god is that true i believe so i mean i i have a i don't really keep track decent guess at who will do you want to share but there is a very direct correlation between everlasting life on the show and yes living forever immortality that's okay no i have

just we you know we uh dip our toe in it as it were and the phone is just ends up in the toilet a lot he's the way that you're sitting in that chair it matches your the tone of your shirt so perfectly it looks like your shoulders are impossibly crunched above your ears and it's been giving you a real and i mispronounce this word is it caricature or caricature and that is a family problem of mine that's not like a schooling thing my family says it the wrong way no yes a lot of people say it's wrong it's caricatory like circuitry but wait how did you oh i was saying cricket chair because you know crickets have those legs that go up over their head so his chair gives him an appearance of like a crickets.

Of a Jiminy. Yeah. Yeah. No. But yeah. But you mean like the funny drawing of someone? Yeah. That's exactly.

Yeah. The laugh out loud drawing of a friend. Yes. That is a caricature. The only funny thing in the world. Mm-hmm. That you can get in a park. Friend or like, yeah.

Or whoever. A lover, a child, a wife, a teacher. Yeah. Johnny Depp. I'm a saint i can't right right right uh and you had that was that was helpful chris and you smashed the toilet that's what you do with the lasso right break the toilet yeah i mean if you have like a weak bemis absolutely yeah okay so i guess I'll be doing something different because my Bemis is... Do you use the Bemis brand of toilet? Oh, sorry.

The toilet, yes. The toilet's... Oh, sorry, I list toilet brands. You never look at the... No, we do, but Bemis means something else on this show. And that's canon. And A's ain't working with no weak bemis you're saying if you have like an entry level uh bemis then it'll just like smash right as long as you're as long as you have like an 80 and above bemis premium it's gonna take a dent

but it's not gonna smash it's not premis bemis it's it's not going to smash. You need a Primus Bemis. It has to be Primus. The Primus level. The Primus line of Bemis. Yeah, you want to get yourself a Primus Bemis. That's absolutely right. Not before I've had my Bemis. You really can do, I mean, almost any product could use this tagline where you're just subbing out coffee for the thing you need in the morning

the way you describe that man sean made me sad in a way do you know why why the first thing you said about him you know he's a normal normal normal grumpy i remember that too that's that's sticking with you too hayes yeah yeah first of all what's normal grumpy i remember that too that's that's sticking with you too hayes yeah yeah first of all what's normal grumpy's normal i guess i've never you ever meet a normal guy i have i sure haven't yeah yeah oh you gotta go to akron chris has and i think i'm i've met the same guy yeah yeah yeah he's it's actually kind of soothing yeah you went to Akron? Yeah, I met him in an elevator at a Holiday Inn. He beat the shit out of me. He kicked my ass up and down Main Street.

He knocked my Happy Meal ass from here to next week, man, and I thanked him for the pleasure. He threw me into a washing machine. Wow. This guy spun me over his head like I was a goddamn fucking basketball this guy played the piano with me i i i'll tell you what this guy did to me normal guy most normal guy you'd ever want to meet he used me to saw down a tree this this guy stuck a reed in the bottom of my feet, and he played me like an alto sax. Two different instruments?

He used you as two different instruments? No, no. No, he put the reed, the single reed, in my feet, and he played me, soloed on me like an alto sax. Yeah, why are you saying no? He turned Chris into an alto sax, and then he used his alto sax to play the piano. Oh, I forgot that. I also told you that he played he used me to no no but he didn't play you like a piano he played the piano with you he held me like like a piece of bread and he hit me against a piano and he soloed on the piano with me yeah no my relationship with him was very musical it turns out sean's sean's was

yours was different but but but i think it's just location dependent because we were in the woods you were in the woods i was in a metropolitan area that's why no yeah he turned me into a bird's nest he turned my ass into a bird's nest he He weaved my intestines together until a bird could lay its little legs in there. And he made me wait for them to hatch. Then he made me wait for them to graduate to the fledgling stage at least so they could safely leave the nest. What branch were you on? How high up in the tree? I'm not an arborist or whatever.

I don't actually know the names of the branch types, believe it or not. I'm a YouTube celebrity. A spy. And Chris, how long is it? How long is these? How long do you try the YouTube thing? Or how long is this?

Okay. I have two questions. Sorry, that's it. I have two questions then you guys both had that question and i'll tell you gear's not the only thing that's contagious because now question asking has become contagious okay chris at the beginning of the show i thought this is this guy's doing it too much you got me doing it yeah yeah yeah how long should we try to do it is the second question and how long should each individual um ute be the individual ute all right you want to stop trying after you turn 17

and you want the ute to be around the thing about online videos is the longer they are the more um the more they catch people's attention so you want anywhere between 40 minutes and um 40 minutes and an hour and a half just so it can get passed around really easy and you want to get like kind of the good stuff any kind of warmth or charm around the 49 minute mark because that's kind of the that's where the algorithm really will um really will walk you know give you a buttermilk buttermilk bath jordan are you writing this down yeah i'm yep it's all written down what do you see and when you say buttermilk bath...

I can see the cleaning products on this guy's table. Jordan, sorry, what were you saying? What kind of milk is in this bath? Buttermilk. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same type made famous by Charlotte's Web by Farmer Zuckerman.

It's a thick... Oh, perfect. It's a thick buttermilk that's been out in the sun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it kind of looks like Monet's water lilies, but it's milk. Janelle Monet. That, yeah.

Janelle Monet. Janelle Monet's water lilies. Yeah. Any more questions, Sean? I'm fresh out, man. This guy pumped me dry and I thanked him for it weird world man

2020 right fucked up bye Hollywood Hamburg that was a HitGum Podcast.