Hollywood Handbook - Chris Gethard, Our Sirius Mixer Friend

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

CHRIS GETHARD returns to help The Boys prepare for the Earwolf-Sirius XM mixer. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so uh it was me it was um i was in there in the um in the hut what do you call there in the hut. What do you call it? In the little tent. The hatch. The hatch. The hatch from Lost. I was in there with Barney Rubble and the Bitter Beer Face guy from the Keystone Light commercials.

And is it Keystone or Keystone Light? It's Keystone Light. i was just saying the beginning of you just said keystone no i was yeah i was i mean i just didn't finish i was just saying no haze i'm i'm not playing gotcha i honestly didn't know when you said keystone i thought oh my god did i get it wrong but it's key it is keystone light sorry i just don't know. It's hard. I can't see your face. And so it's hard to know if you're being nice or if you're... Hey, I'm being so nice. Thank you for being nice to me. I really thought for a moment I may have gotten it wrong.

Okay. I thought when you said Keystone and I was already like, you know, the sort of train had left the station on me saying Keystone Light. I panicked. I mean, my stomach dropped out of my ass and i thought okay i well your camera if you if i could see you then i would have known that what a monster faux pie may have made saying you know because that this whole hatch story kind of yeah you've been in the hatch with this guy for a very long time saying i assume you said keystone Light a lot.

Yes. No, I was honestly working through like I brought it up so much. And they only have Dharma Initiative brand Keystone Light. Yeah, which is, it is Keystone Light, but it has the little symbol on it, the little like cobra symbol or whatever. I think you're thinking of Cobra. Okay. Well, they had cobra as well okay um but anyway uh we're in the hatch from lost we're punching in the numbers every so often

um barney rubble like really wants to get home to his wife yeah uh i am trying to keep the troops entertained like i'm not good at punching in the keys my hands are fucked up i so i can't do that part of it uh i also can't open a keystone light but i think what i have to offer is that i um i'm a bit of a raconteur sure and i tell right really fucked up funny raunchy stories like dirty filthy stories but like in this very's disgusting but it is it is at you know with intelligence it's sort of um it's uh tucker max meets bill faulkner yeah you know because it is about my poor family in the South and how often we would like bust a load on the horse or something.

But anyway, I'm telling the stories. I'm telling the stories and it's whatever. It's stupid. But the bitter beer face guy finally asks me to stop. Like,

to permanently stop telling these stories and i only have four or five and i've told them every day now at this point for a few months so i look to barney rebel and i go is you know do you feel this way too is this what you want you know and he and and and he's like hemming and hawing a little bit. And I start to get the message. Oh, wow. Barney's on my side. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. The way you could pull this out, I feel like, is with one really great story. The way to pull what out? The way to pull out the tension of the conversation with the bitter beer face guy. pull out like this this the tension of the conversation with the bitter beer face guy is to i obviously don't have a new story to tell but like a really great telling but i've got i've always got an ace up my sleeve and that i can sort of change tone and even add a fake detail to one of the stories so i say you know it's me it's cash it's mavis it's deandra it's pa and our our our lucky horse uh sheriff bitch is sick of getting loads on him physically sick like he's like not able to walk is sick of getting loads on him. Physically sick.

Like he's like not able to walk. You know what? I, it's, I'm feeling a little like, I, I know you can't see me. I also can't see you.

Cause I'm just not looking. Maybe I should save this story for when I'm back. Sure. Oh yeah. Yeah, sure. Okay. Hi,

we have a guest. We want to get to that. Welcome to Hollywood handbook. It's either sky to kicking butt I'm back in the next. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Okay. Hi, we have a guest. We want to get to that. Welcome to Hollywood handbook and insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet. I'm back always in this industry we call showbiz. It's very nice to welcome our friend. The only guest who has ever done. He's done a show multiple times, but he has never done the show that is real with both.

With two guys. With both of the guys. Mm-hmm. Talk about that. Speak up, Crisp. Crisp? I feel so happy to be here with both of you. I do still feel like I haven't totally attained the truth of the experience because we are-

Definitely not. Unfortunately so spread apart and I can't see one of you. So I feel like I'm closer than I've ever been, but it's still not quite there. I'm scared to be seen here. Yeah. Do you want to talk about, Sean, why no one will be getting to see you today? Well, we all know during quarantine, it felt safe to experiment with our look, right? Everybody sort of went, well, maybe I'll try a new look. I'm not seeing anyone.

It's not permanent. No, it's not permanent, but it is. That's what, that's what people were saying. But then this one has turned out to be permanent. It's turned out to be permanent. So I have, uh, you know, I started piercing some stuff and it was, uh, at first really fun and funny and it looked kind of cool, I thought. And, uh, it got out of control. Um, and I pierced my teeth to my lip uh and i can talk i can do everything you're talking very well

but it it looks pretty fucked up uh and i am embarrassed and i don't want to be able to see myself either and i've talked to a doctor who he said he can um kind of shoot the piercings out with like a really small gun which i'm gonna try to do next week because as as it stands right now i just don't i'm too shy but from far away he's gonna have to stand far away he's gonna be really far away yeah he's actually gonna fly over my house and i will be lying about i will be lying on my back in the backyard and he's going to shoot straight down. Chris.

Well, again, on my end. Yeah. Just, uh, yeah. Just happy to be back. And I'm so sorry. Good to have you. No, it's so sorry to hear. It's on me a little bit.

Hey, I was, I, I did do this joke. I went, Hey, I'm DC Pearson. When did you do that and to whom i was what it was when i was doing the pearson okay because i was doing piercings and uh and i guess i said it to like basically like a friendly bird chris yeah we have a lot to talk about today obviously uh you are a fellow member of this big family of ours this this earwolf network uh and we have um oh boy it has been it's been quite a week it really has been quite a week huge i've always felt i've always felt like you guys are the excuse me like no i feel honestly the

same i'm having a little bit trouble talking about it too well you know i've always i've always felt like you guys are the perfect representation of los angeles earwolf you are after all hollywood is in the name of the show. Right. And I always felt like I was like the New York torchbearer of Earwolf in some ways. So I feel like it makes sense that we're having a little bit of a meeting of the minds right now

because the whole foundation is shifting. The whole foundation. And these are, you know, some people come into your lives and quickly go, but they leave this sort of a mark on you don't they like a piercing uh and i guess for me that was uh the uh sorry the scripts corporation the Scripps Corporation. I sort of... It just meant a lot to me. Hayes, I can jump in.

I can take over really quick. Thank you. No, I think we all know what you're trying to say. Look, it's no secret. I was never super close with my old man and uh that created a hole in my life that I was looking to fill in all kinds of different ways some of them not healthy some of them very healthy uh and when i met um and when i met the scripts corporation i said oh i can stop looking so the growth you know that we've all experienced under their gentle tutelage that doesn't go away that doesn't

go away no no no that just because they're gone hey just you know luke combs has a song called even though i'm leaving and uh it's a dad singing to his son who's scared. He's scared to go to sleep because there's going to be monsters under the bed. And his dad's going back to his own room and he wants his son to be able to sleep in his bed, but he wants him also to know that he's not ever going to be alone. Because in some ways, the lessons and the love that his father has for him are going to be there protecting him so even though i'm leaving that don't mean i won't be right by your side when you're scared and i'm not there in the middle of the night and they wouldn't do they would not be doing this to sell to, you know, I was, yes, I was

mad at first. I was mad at them for selling mid-roll Stitcher to Sirius XM radio, but they would not be doing this if it weren't the right thing for us right now. I know that's why they're doing it. It's taking me a little while to figure that out, but I know they would not be doing this. And guys, if I can, because we're all getting emotional, if I may, I would just say, I want to go on record and be the first to admit there's times where I took them for granted. Yeah. I've been thinking a lot about that, Chris. The shade that their corporate umbrella provided provided when Scripps first got involved

I remember all of a sudden in the New York lobby there was kombucha on tap and this is true this is very very true there was kombucha on tap I don't know if that made its way out to LA but kombucha on tap did that go away at some point it's true I mean I feel

like it's dried up now and and maybe it'll come back but you know sean you brought up that sound of pulling the lever that beautiful that beautiful knowing that that beautiful mixture of carbonation and fungus would soon be in my mouth yeah i'm reminded of a song as well if i can it's by uh the counting crows and only the counting crows yeah yes it goes uh don't it always seem to go you don't know what you've got till it's gone they paved paradise put up a park and a lot they did didn't they yeah it's not the first or last time that the counting crows made me think about the world a little different and if we could double double back really quickly, I think I did mess up some of the lyrics of the song that I brought up. And I don't want to make this all about that. I may have as well.

It says, just because I'm leaving, it don't mean that I won't be right by your side when you need me and you can't see me in the middle of the night. Just close your eyes and say a prayer. It's okay. I know you're scared when I'm not here but i'll always be right there even though i'm leaving i ain't going nowhere i ain't going nowhere that makes more sense yeah that part that's better yeah uh so i know they would not want us scripts would not want us to be to spend a whole episode like talking about that they would be like bring the funny guys like do what you do no they they that's that was what was so great as they always wanted us to be us and support us and honestly you know the last time I talked to them, I said some stuff. If I had known,

obviously... Don't blame yourself. Don't blame yourself. You didn't know. I would have done it a little different, but I, you know, we can't take it back. I don't want to focus on that. But I told them, you know, I mean, I told him to fuck off. Like, and really out of out of no for no reason. They hadn't done anything. I cold called him and just said, like, I said, the spelling bee sucks. A lot of that. And part of why I don't really want to talk about this too much on this

episode is I don't want to give Brett the satisfaction like Brett. I do see you here. And I know this was you. I know you did this. You're the one, Brett, who always called them a medium company, not a media company.

You said you would say media company? More like medium company because they're not actually even that big. Not like my company, which I don't know what you meant. You don't have any companies at all. I do have an LLC. It's filed in my name. You don't know what it's worth. You've never seen the paperwork.

I would say it's a grande company well grande actually at starbucks is actually a medium it's a medium it is a medium at starbucks you guys know what i'm gonna miss the most go off king i think the thing i'm gonna miss most about the glory days that we're now exiting is the real clarity and warmth that they brought to the conversation yes always when i had a question before i even had to ask during my email saying hey here's why one of the hosts was paid a third of much of what they were supposed to get this month that the other made six seven times as much that no that was so comforting and it was that little bing email received you have a new email

explaining why the math is fucked and the the explanation 100% of the time demonstrated an understanding of what went wrong and a clear path to resolution. And I never felt blamed. Nope. I never felt blamed. I never felt blamed for anything. They didn't pass the buck. They didn't pass the buck. They wouldn't say, why don't you just give him half that money? They wouldn't say that. They would say, hey, whoa, let's take a step back. We messed up.

Let's address the mistake that was made. Yeah. Well, time marches on, right? You know, scripts, we could talk about them all the time, but maybe, you know, just because there's a new, just because mom's got a new stepdad right uh he might actually be a really cool guy if you give him a chance yeah and we get to we now get to have that chance and it's a big uh you know it's tomorrow I actually can't believe it's tomorrow. Tomorrow, we effectively enter the bubble.

We have been quarantining for a couple weeks now to travel to not Phoenix, Arizona, but like just sort of just outside of it where Sirius and Stitcher slash midroll slash earwolf uh will be convening for the next four months uh to just like uh to first of all get to know each other mm-hmm uh yep uh and like sort of a mixer for a four month long mixer mm long mixer hey and if a if a couple podcasts get made that wouldn't be a bad thing either i think they might i think we might do a couple right tells me it's a hunch i think we might yeah there might be a podcast recorded yeah i already feel very optimistic just based on the location i feel like my favorite my favorite part of the country is arizona outside of the cities and this time of year oh my god yeah it's not the like in you know

it's not like the desert it's not like the really rural part it's like new it's like nice places uh and we're we're all gonna be kind of set up there has anyone reached out to you guys about like i've gotten a couple emails just from uh this year like some of the people on the serious team that are like excited some of the people from that, uh, family, not Howard, but like they all know how, like they all hang out with Howard and like Howard has been like talking about us.

And I know it was like really excited to, um, meet us all to meet us and to hang out with us. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard from people from a bunch of the different stations. Oh, awesome.

Yeah. The Margaritaville guys reached out oh my god shade 45 reached out yeah uh fight nation reached out fight nation great channel yeah jenny lsq uh actually called me up just to talk about some of the um sort of more obscure like proto twee scottish bands that influenced bell and sebastian and that was really cool um and then i'd obviously talk about how we were joining companies and be a podcast uh some of the um one of the ladies from the bridge uh sent me just like some photos of her kitchen uh-huh um it was i mean it's been cool i got an email of course from chris mad dog russo

yes yes uh and like the nhl you know they have every nhl game so of course uh the nhl uh communicated that they are excited to like do podcasts they really want to guest on shows i don't know if that means like the players or like exactly or like team reps or something but they really want to like start doing comedy stuff um rick d's uh-huh this is on sixts on 6 of course the patriot channel obviously has contacted all of us um I haven't gotten back to them yet but they're uh we're part of the same company now

did you guys get a weird list from e street radio about how to talk to little steven I did yes I did I haven't actually gotten all the way through it yet I didn't find it weird but it was just basically, don't open your mouth when you talk to him. Like you can talk to him, but keep your jaw sort of set off to one side and then just like, don't let him see your mouth move. Yes. Or be sort of turned enough away. And he,

apparently he's like awesome and like super nice. Yeah. That's what I hear. I mean, Sean, it must be, you know, silver lining and having your teeth pierced and connected to your lips. I wonder if that's what it was about. It's a non-issue. Well, I am getting that fixed. Have you guys heard from Ringo? Because I was

planning on hearing from him on the Beatles channel. Say who you're talking to. What the fuck are you talking about, man? R Ringo are you mispronouncing Rango the Johnny Depp lizard character because I did hear from Rango yeah Rango reached out yeah he wants to do a whole promotional thing well he lives in Arizona obviously so I mean let's just let's talk about brett i mean are you even going to this i want to they won't tell me where it is you can see i'm in like a laundry room like a utility closet i'm not at home i think they thought i would blow up the deal or something if you were if you were invited

yeah i don't know they just they seem like they didn't want me there, even though, you know, I've been at this company the longest. Let's talk about night one. Of course, No Shoes Radio is hosting. Kenny Chesney's music channel is hosting like a night in the sand. They're like pouring a lot of sand into the street and we will get to just kind of like have a little, not a beach party, but it'll sort of feel like that vibe sort of.

Who do we like? How do we approach? Are they going to approach us like Chris? Like, you know, like beautiful anonymous. approach us like chris like you know like beautiful anonymous um there's a lot of potential for serious xm personalities to to call into the show and like kind of share stories that they haven't before necessarily yeah i've actually been told that during this mixer they expect me to primarily sit next to a phone oh and other people who are attending the mixer will call in and i will get to know them anonymously via the structure of my show i i pointed out that it has some flaws

that it actually might sort of separate me from everybody, but they said, I'm not seeing that. So tell me, tell me what you're feeling. Well, it's just because my show, you know, part of the premise is that the person on the other line does not identify who they are.

Right. So I feel like, you know, if one of the XM, you guys are one of the, you know, yeah. First wave guys,

outlaw radio, or if any of the raw dog comedy guys, the raw dog guys. I mean, just, I radio, or any of the raw dog comedy guys, the raw dog guys. I mean, just, I mean, can we just say to the comedy lineup? There's about 11 standup channels.

You got Netflix is a joke. You've got Netflix is a joke radio. You got, you got a raw dog, raw dog, comedy, great stuff. Of course,

comedy central radio. You got them out there. Yeah. All kinds of great stuff. There comedy central radio you got them out there yeah all kinds of great stuff there's a certain comedian i hear a lot of on these channels who i absolutely stan and i hope to see him at the mixer who is it tug stanhope Nope. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, ready-to-go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready-to-go in just two minutes,

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This is the meal. You cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promise is the meal makes us sleepy You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah.

Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two? Me walking in my bedroom.

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really help you speak the language and the question that i always get people stop me and they say like hey i like i i trust you i know like you when you endorse a product it's something that you really use and care about but there's one language i'm trying to learn and that's body language so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babble is designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does

their whole finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. And I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger? Because it looks like an emergency. I know I'm supposed to do something. Or how about those people that stand in the street?

They're kind of like, they've got almost like police clothes on. It may be police. Almost, yeah. And they're standing in the middle, and as I'm driving and I'm cruising, they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost. And they're really aggressively pushing it out. And I'm like, am I supposed to drive by a car? Yes. Or just do it at the window as I'm going. That's what I've been doing.

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to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest. They have over 5 million users and have helped save its members

an average of $720 a year with over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. And that was, I mean, just to be fully transparent, that $500 million, most of that was the dresses. Well, yeah, I i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood handbook i was just

gonna ask too because i know we're looking towards the future now looking towards the relationship with serious i agree that that's the most productive were you anybody else weirded out by the contents of the scripts thank you and goodbye gift basket i found it to be very inappropriate what was in my gift basket i honestly chris honestly i have been saving it for a moment when i just need uh to get back in touch with that time in my life so you haven't even opened it yet i have not opened it i haven't opened either is it perishable i don't know if it yet. I have not opened it. I haven't opened it either. Is it perishable? I don't know if it's the same for all of us. I'll tell you what's in mine. I don't want to spoil yours.

Well, they do usually have... It's pretty personalized most of the time when you do get anything from the company. I don't know who was behind mine then or what the exact connotation of it is, but mine was just two bottles of lube and then a jug of peanut butter filled pretzels so i don't know what that was about i thought it was a little inappropriate

so perishable two bottles two bottles of lube different brands and then one of those jugs you know they have them at every craft services table i know you guys know oh yeah butterfired pretzels yeah they're not shaped like a pretzel really but like a nugget yeah yeah i i mean i am getting a message from that really yeah i mean like i think i'm getting an idea it tells a story right and then what you do on your show right i do try to i do try to you know present a platform for people to tell their stories in their own words yeah i guess i'm not and and you're seeing a connection between that lube and peanut butter filled pretzels you know i'm and i am i i honestly think that this is like uh like a kindness on their part i think it is constructive i think they are picking up on not like a performance issue on your show but like something you could do to kind of like be a little more activated less flat right like yeah i think that

we all get in a rut sometimes especially in, where the show can be a little bit lifeless. And it's like, is there something we can do to just kind of juice up the energy in the moment, really spike that next call and make sure that we're really engaged? For some people, it's a cup of joe. It's just like a piping hot cup of coffee and some people need like other physical like just like a little jolt or ways to like gradually absorb uh sugar carbohydrates yeah over the you know i guess i see how the peanut butter filled pretzels could be like a

nice energy boost but i right i'm not sure but of course you're talking into a microphone so we're not going to be eating obviously eating and crunching on peanut butter filled pretzels that's pretty disgusting so you're saying they're asking me to consume them anally in a but in a way that like you honestly probably will not even notice and they're saying experiment with these brands aren't they so you're saying scripts on the way out the door is sending me products to tell me i'm low energy and they want me to shove pretzels up my ass and you're saying that that's a good thing good for the show they're saying like chris how long have you been doing the show you're saying that like there's like no tweaks that you could possibly make to improve it at

this point you've been doing the show a long time four years and i'm certain you know i always work on it i'm always putting a lot of thought into it. I just, I guess, to be fair, yeah, I never considered the constructive possibilities of lubing up pretzel nuggets. Salted? Big chunky salt on it? There's salt. There's visible salt. Yeah. Like, yeah, like 12 grains of salt, but they're huge.

Yeah. I wonder if so I hear that of course the diplos revolution channel will be there formerly the electric area channel

which is what Chris you could have by the way after if you go through the process that they have prescribed for you. It is one electric area. Yes, and I actually hear the Diplo will be providing a progressive trance backbeat to some earwolf shows. Of his choosing.

I would like to, obviously, be one of the shows. I would like us, I would like Beautiful Anonymous, to be the shows that Diplo scores and I would like us to be able to team up to figure out how to make

that happen. It is a contest. I'm in. The question is, how do we share it if we if only one of us wins since we are teaming up on this? Do you see what I'm saying? Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Do you see what I'm saying? How does that work? This could get really tense. Well, I mean, could there be some sort of runner-up prize? I know a lot of channels are offering this. Like, could it be, okay, if you get it,

we split the time with Diplo, but Ozzy's Boneyard is going to get in and kind of shred and lay some nice chunky metal behind the guys who are not at that time receiving Diplo's generous beats. I just get I mean just like now that you're mentioning it when Ozzy meets Scott those two like the conversation I actually will not I feel like me even listening to it will like taint it but Ozzy Osbourne and Scott Aukerman in conversation possibly with Jeff Garlin oh wow stitcher serious Matt stitcher serious mashups that's so powerful i that's a show that i would like subscribe to but not even listen because no like i just wanted to sit there in my phone with like a blue dot next to it like this is like this this will not be spoiled by well it's a little like the it's a little like the thank you and goodbye gift bag

that Chris just ripped open for us. It's like this really sacred thing. For me, when people say, what are you going to do when you get out of quarantine? And I go, well, the second we're all vaccinated and healthy, literally the first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to remove the tissue paper from the bag and then i'm going to pull out the items inside so that like is something that i'm holding on to and really looking forward to of like that's

when life will actually be back to normal kevin are you gonna be at this i am um i'm i don't have directions though the first thing they told me was No phones allowed Yes Which is weird Weird for podcasters You use your phone during the podcast Chris? Of course there's a beautiful anonymous phone It could be called a beautiful anonymous phone

I'm also just saying in principle Things get downloaded to our phones It feels like a little bit of a flex from the radio guys To say hey podcast guys. We'll cut you off. You can listen to a radio, but you can't listen to a podcast on your phone while you're here.

It feels a little bit of a status thing. Yeah, that's a power play. No phones, only cars. You can only listen to anything and only make phone calls via your car. I heard that the Grand Ballroom will be filled with cars that you can sit in and listen to different stations. I have say have a driveway moment i am so excited for that because beautiful anonymous you know uh real strong you know we see the demographics like a surprising amount

of female listeners there's young there's old we have had a lot of trouble getting people yeah i know yeah everybody likes us i it's not surprising to me i have had a lot of trouble. Us too. Yeah, I know. Yeah, everybody likes us. Except it's not surprising to me. I have had a lot of trouble getting people who rent cars to listen to my show. And I feel like this might really crack the cone on that because I've been for

years. No, yeah. For us, it's been the sort of our white whale has been people in the first three months of a lease. Yeah. Business travelers. Yeah. I'm looking for somebody who just landed at the Bangor, Maine airport and is driving an hour and a half north to their uncle's house. What do I got to do to make that hour and a half drive them listening to my show?

I've been trying for years to figure that out. I think what we can go for, Chris, is potentially making Beautiful Anonymous Radio a single-digit channel. Ooh. So getting it in the one to 10, possibly knocking out... What decade is getting bumped out?

Yes, you could knock out, obviously. The 50s. The 50s brought nothing to rock and roll. Let's just leave the 50s out, and I'll that yes 50s on five is now gonna be beautiful anonymous beautiful anonymous on five that rolls off the tongue this is that official because i had heard a rumor is each earwolf show getting their own entire serious station yeah yes yeah they'll obviously play you on like um on raw.comedy and comedy central and uh you know netflix is a joke netflix is a joke and um kevin hart's laugh out loud radio and jeff and larry's comedy roundup and laugh usa you know you'll be on those clips but for the full

episodes in full catalog they will want to go to Beautiful Anonymous on 5. Are you guys filling your station with just 24-hour replays of old episodes? Are you going to fill it out with companion shows, blow it out into its own universe? What's your plan here? That's a real... I mean, we will be spinning a lot. i mean like we will be spinning a lot we'll be like playing a lot of just sort of our like curated playlist we will not be doing the show that much anymore no no uh we're not going to rest on our laurels and just do the same show now that we've been acquired we're going to be spinning we're

going to be um i'll be doing some original acoustic stuff uh and i we're in a bit of a legal sticky spot because i always say we saved you a seat at the at clem dog's coffee house right uh right before i launch into my acoustic set that of course is the catchphrase on the sirius xm coffee house uh which is all acoustic music they say we saved you a seat. So I'm dogs coffee house. I, they say, they say we've saved you a seat at the SiriusXM coffee house.

They feel like it's too close. Um, I of course disagree. Uh, but you know, it's, it's getting worked through. Um,

but yeah, we're going to be also like doing a lot of innovative stuff i know hayes wants to sleep on the radio he wants to broadcast his sleep and actually that has never been done before and it is i mean we'll see what it is, honestly. To have 24-hour access to a single-digit SiriusXM station is you just have the ears of really the entire country. And for them to hear me say some of my ideas that I have in my sleep, and I sometimes wake up and you know you don't remember exactly what they are for me to then just be able to ask anyone on the street like hey what was the idea

that i was talking about last night and they'll be able to tell me because they heard me um while spinning you know like i think we are merging with um pitbull's globalization uh channel so while spinning current rhythmic dance and international hits i just feel like it is maybe what we were supposed to be doing all along and this is my gratitude that i have for scripts uh for letting us grow into this opportunity. It's just so exciting. It's so rich. Speaking of rich, by the way, the money. Let's talk about this.

Let's talk about it. We've always been really transparent about the money. That is a conversation they have with us right away. How is this affecting your pockets being acquired by a big company like this? And it's actually really interesting. I thought they were pretty generous. Chris, do you want to go first and just say the size of your bonus? Yeah, $7 million. Okay, yeah. And that's good. And you don't have to split that with anyone. I think they probably gave us a little bit of a premium because there's two of us what are you guys talking 17

million dollars wow between we've been doing the show a little bit a little longer too yeah hey it's it's not a dick measuring contest out here okay no i didn't think it was we were talking about that's a different that is of course it's a gonna be its own channel i hear that's gonna be one of the get to know you activities at the mixer actually right they are doing dick measuring and the hair nation guys are hosting that they're uh they're gonna be like um you know all dolled up glammed out in like 80s hairband uh regalia and then everyone's going to measure their dick from inside their like acid wash jeans or whatever like steve polychronopolis remember that steve mother truck and polychronopolis y'all remember that video got the acid wash jeans

and you can see his freaking schwank piece through the outline hair nation. I think by the as part of the merger hair nation is now going to be called hard hair. It's going to be called haired nation. The haired brothers are coming back. They are combining

which is awesome. It is going to be a combination of Hair Nation and Hard Nation. It's called, yeah, Fake. And Fake the Nation is also involved in some way. Fake the Hard Hair Nation.

Did you say Fake the Hard Hair Nation? The network is now called Fake, but I just checked the newest update. um the hard hair nation mm-hmm she's a fake the hard hair nation that's the network is now called fake but I just checked the newest update it is that we just explain this the hard hair nation I was just double checking no I know but it's just I don't for the listeners who were paying attention I don't want them to have to hear the whole thing again

it was really clear what he said I'm sorry the room I'm in is incredibly hot and i'm starting to lose focus it's good training that's good training yeah for the of course these are you know it's tracked housing that was built but not necessarily fitted with all the utilities yeah and so well one has a working bathroom and one has a yeah no no but it's just like it is it is true communal living because one person will have a sink that functions well or like a kitchen with a nice stove and another person's house will have a bathroom you can use.

Toilets. Toilets in every house, but not necessarily... Attached to plumbing or a sewer line. So you take the toilet outside. And I heard there was actually a lot of that's because the government puts down a stop work order because it's a lot of radon i heard in this area where we're all hanging out and but and so my question was like what does that is that bad and that and that was sort of serious this thing is like yeah actually we don't know it is

natural it is and this is from the earth we don't know. It is natural. It is. And this is from the earth. We're talking about like natural stuff from the earth. And people get so bent out of shape. But I go, you know what I say? You can't spell Ray Donovan without radon. Good luck. And I actually would like to see you try.

Yeah, please be my guest. Go ahead and try to spell Ray Donovan without radon. I'll be over here with my, you know, watching Showtime. That's another channel. Of course, Ray Donovan Radio, R-A-Y-D-I-O. I know Jonah Ray is not super happy about that. He's upset. Yep.

As a person who did pioneer spelling radio that way. But I mean, it's Ray donovan wants to do i mean sorry joda this is ray donovan one thing i really appreciated is that the serious telling us that if we want to leave the network we don't actually even have to tell them yeah that was cool um such an awesome open door policy uh where a lot of times people can be very possessive like hey you've been making the show here for a while we've been trying you know trying to support you but for them to go hey guys you know if you want to leave if you're uncomfortable with any aspect of this um

whatever it may be uh and then just actually do go out and do not uh let the door hit you uh in the ass on the way out and like don't like you know like don't say anything don't say anything save save paper and you know it's an email but like save the the amount of electricity that would be absorbed by uh you know it costs money to send an email saying like hey we are actually not doing the show anymore on this network and they're like just don't even don't even bother sure what are i mean i um scott are the scotts doing like a music thing around uh like like like a show around one of these channels i mean i imagine that would be a great opportunity to have adam scott and scott ackerman just listening to seriously sinatra yeah that could be that was the plan right it's a mashup

are you talking seriously sinatra re seriously sinatra me notra yeah you and me wait kevin wait wait what did you just say say that again are you talking seriously sinatra re minatra wait a second wait kevin wait what did you just say kevin no wait slowly say that again are you talking seriously, Sinatra? Re, me, Natra. That's really good. That's really good. Yeah. That's going to close out night one.

Me, Natra. Me, Natra. Chris. Yeah. I hear you've been living on planet scum these days. Yeah, from time to time. Yeah, that's me and a bunch of my friends on different nights of the week. What's the atmosphere like?

It's hot and humid and it's always heavy. It's grody. Yeah. What a nasty idea. No offense, but just the idea of an entire planet that is scum. No offense meant, but you're making me throw up with even the concept of it so sorry i'm very sorry about that i'm very sorry about that but yeah that's you can

go and see uh different comedians fucking around on twitch that's what that is and something else we should talk about chris before we go yeah because we are running out of time uh i don't wanna i have been sort of wanting to let uh the fans uh kind of sell everyone celebrated in their own way and i know you have to so that we don't really necessarily have to talk about it but uh exactly 10 years ago today as we're recording this yeah this half hour the show big lake was aired on comedy central yeah yeah 10 episodes 10 episodes aired simultaneously the screen split into 10 pieces yeah so it was they got them all out of the way they got them all out of the way in one 22 minute short shot. Didn't quite finish

the episode. Did cut into it after like 18 plus minutes. Yeah, they started Krodman doing early that night. But what a thing. It's wild. It was a show that the reviews weren't great in its time. I did always feel like it was a little bit of a Velvet Underground thing. It's wild. It was a show that the reviews weren't great in its time.

I did always feel like it was a little bit of a Velvet Underground thing. We knew. We knew when we were making it. There weren't many people watching it, but people who did watch Big Lake, a lot of them started... All went on to watch another show. They all went on to watch at least one other show. I mean, some people did. I guess that was sort of the beginning of the

destroy the TV movement. I feel like there are a lot of cord cutters. A lot of... I've been told that a lot of the cord cutters actually initially got rid of cable after watching Big Lake. So it was at the beginning of that trend. Pre-streaming platforms, we had people cutting cords, getting rid of cable, saying cable is not worth anything to me these were people that you heard about a lot of people finding a unique strength you know often that um when you hear about a mother uh like seeing their child trapped under a car they can lift the car people were able to rip the cord into pieces with their hands after seeing the show Big Lake. A lot of people threw their cable boxes on their front lawns.

A lot of things. But you know, it's funny because the reviews weren't great. And for years, it was either largely forgotten or people would maybe bring it up to rib me a little bit. But I'm telling you, really, honestly, just in like the two and a half, past two and a half, three weeks, little bit but i'm telling you really honestly just in like the two and a half past two and a half three weeks there's been this explosion of big lake nostalgia where i think people actually realized it was a hidden gem the whole time so yeah i'm talking like in the last 18 19 days after 10 years of yeah it's a part of our culture you know and we can't escape that the what's dead can never die and uh i'll say it because you guys can't uh the two of you especially

lee harvey oswald should be a real amusement park um it's such a funny idea but it's also true and he you know lee is kind of like big lake right yeah gone you know famous and then gone almost simultaneously uh but we can't stop talking about it yeah burned very bright for a very short amount of time yeah actually on planet scum my friend uh connor ratliff and griffin newman they're going to be doing a they did track down all 10 episodes of big lake and they're going to be doing a, they did track down all 10 episodes of big lake and they're going to be doing a live watch along. Wow. And I,

I legitimately have never seen all 10 episodes. I was the star of big lake. I have not seen them all. So excited to see how that goes. And they're inviting people to participate in that. Yeah. You can watch along, go watch long episodes of big lake and then they're going to try.

Oh, so I get to watch. You get to watch them watch okay so i yes a writer on the show yes have been invited to watch this to watch them watch a show you helped write 10 years ago wow yeah that will be so fun for me and i'll talk because i'll have a lot to say having been there you're're welcome to watch. But I'll just be at home talking. Watching them watch it. Yeah. Watching them.

Maybe your wife could watch you watching them watch it. You could turn to her every so often and say, honey, they're watching a part I remember. That would be really nice for her. She was there. You know, she was there. Me too. What? I was there too. So I was there too too of course is coming back

as well uh the sack lunch bunch i think it's the sack lunch bunch what's the name of the um the special summer show that they're doing with conan and matt oh s'mores something s'mores. Something s'mores. Summer s'mores. Summer s'mores. The snack lunch bunch. Snack lunch bunch. Yep. The snack lunch bunch. That is going to kick ass. I don't always get

really excited about upcoming podcasts to the point where I stop going to sleep and stop eating food or taking care of myself, cleaning myself. But when I heard about the snack lunch bunch, that's which guys did you say?

Conan and Matt? Yeah. And Sona. Forget it. See ya. Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. Bye. Bye. Hollywood Hamburg.