Hollywood Handbook - Clea DuVall and Mary Holland, Our New Years Movie Friends

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

CLEA DUVALL returns with MARY HOLLAND to begin production on their New Years movie Love & Santa.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, it turns out our ancestors actually had a little bit to teach us about being healthy. being healthy about like you know so we like we think of like oh we've developed all these like new medicinal and like uh culinary practices so we're healthier now it's like actually we've we've straight backwards in some ways in some ways we have maybe because someone is trying to sell us something someone thinks they can make money off this i'm being product actually things that were given to us for free are also the healthiest approach to things like how we eat a berry a leaf right i have found that's so interesting that you would say a berry, a leaf, a rock. I have found that by really perfecting my scooping paw technique,

that all my eating now is scooping. I will scoop. It's perfect for berries. It is perfect for berries it is perfect for berries whereas when i was i i used a fork for five six years i can only get like a couple berries on there at a time oh my god and they're exploding you're losing some of the vital nutrients they're shooting all over the place i'm biting down on the fork the fork is so hard whereas and of course i'll yes i'll bite down i'll put my hand all the way in my mouth but

your hand but that's me sometimes too at least i it yes and i and i can feel that when it's starting to happen, I'm like, oh, look out. Time to ease up. Yes, exactly. I can feel the fork. I can feel my paw. I hate to extend this intro. We do have guests that we need to introduce, but actually your story has reminded me

something of a parable from nature and i think it relates to our guests today and i don't think i've discussed this before but it's it's a warning for you as well as a berry scooper are you familiar with the monkey hunting technique employed in Borneo in the jungles? In Borneo? In the Borneo jungles. No. Well, allow me to educate you. So they will fill a tree hole, a cavern inside a tree with berries and nuts and things desirable

to these delicious monkeys. And the monkey will reach his hand inside, having smelled the treats, and he will close his fist inside of the tree, close it so tight around this treasure he's found that he's unable to remove it and effectively trap himself. He's unwilling to let go of the nutrients, of the delicious, wonderful food he thinks he has. But in fact, the very thing he thinks he has won, he has discovered by holding onto it, he's ensuring his own demise. And you'll see them here. If you go to Borneo, you walk around, there's just these monkeys with their hand just stuck in the tree, gripping their fist too wide to move.

And if they would just let go what they think is the prize, they would have freedom. And so I think we have someone here because I like to ask you, what are you holding on to? Yes. What are your nuts and berries that you're gripping so tightly that you think you have that in fact are holding you back and trapping you and killing you and clea you're here yeah yeah do you have a guess at what it might be for you yeah i mean when we when i was here recently we were talking about an idea for a movie and it didn't end well. And now here I am sticking my hand in the tree trying to grab back onto that idea. The Christmas movie.

The project. The Christmas movie. The project is berries and nuts. Yeah. And little bugs. And you guys are the tree, I guess. Yeah. So I'm trying to get those nuts and berries.

You got your hand stuck inside Hayes. You got your hand stuck inside Hayes. You got your whole fist inside Hayes. The paw is your unslakeable ambition, which we knew about going into that episode. We were worried. In fact, we thought it would serve us. We thought, oh, well, this will be great. We get a true killer on the podcast,

and she's going to help push this thing over the goal line and instead i mean by the end i think i mean if i'm not mistaken i think uh hayes called me radioactive uh which hurt but it really was a good it was i think i needed and he wasn't referencing the magic dragon song you know i mean he was talking about the Imagine Dragons song. You know what I mean? He was talking about the actual thing. Yeah. Hurts to be around it as well. And it hurts to be it.

It hurts to be it. But I think I sort of figured out because obviously I made the other Christmas movie, The Happiest Seasons of All. Christmas movie, The Happiest Seasons of All. And I tried to come into this in a different way with this new Santa Claus pool party movie. And it didn't work. It could have worked.

The movie's called Love and Santa. If we could just refer to the movie. Love and Santa. The movie's called Love and Santa. Sort of a pool party. It's a swimpley. There's a pool party that happens, but I thought like it's a swim plea they can and like there's a there there's a pool party that happens but I don't know if it's a pool party movie it's a swim

pool party movie I mean we're not going to Carson's this year it is Carson now it used to be it used to be Carter's it used to be I know but I but did anyone else feel like Carter was no I I I was texting you that as you as texting you that as I got the text.

I mean, am I alone here? You know, in agreement with Hayes? It's Carson's. It was always Carson's. You know who should really decide? I mean, let's let Mary decide. And that's what she's here to do, right? Is to patch up some of the holes.

Yeah, I wanted to bring in Mary. Introduce Mary for us. Well, Mary Holland. We know our Mary, but who's your Mary? My Mary is Mary Holland, who wrote Happiest Season with me and also played a role in the film. And when I really... Not starred.

We don't... She wasn't the don't I'm not hearing star that wasn't my a co-star she was a co-star she played a role we all have a role to play and Mary was no different in the happiest seasons of all

her character had a name as she was in the movie. You better believe it. She negotiated for that, though, huh? So I wanted to bring her in because I know you guys have a relationship with her. Like, you guys have a Mary

and then I have a Mary and I thought that if we made our Mary the same Mary, then maybe we would be able to, you know, kind of break through what happened before and like that to make this movie. Well, you can marry the two Marys.

We'll marry the Marys. Marry the Marys, yeah. And make a merry, merry... Christmas. Christmas, yeah. And, you know, yeah. And it's just been Christmas, and we probably do have to,

just production schedule-wise, if I can just get it out there, we probably do have to pivot to making this a New Year's Eve movie. If I can just get out in front of this right away. I think it actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Well, I think Santa could still OD.

Yeah. Could be a blessing in disguise. Yeah. Makes more sense that he's not working and stuff. Yeah, Mary. Hi. Let's talk to Mary. Hi, Mary.

Well, hi. First of all, I want to say I just love, and I really hope that we do keep this if we do pivot to and well first of all thank you for having me yeah no there's just a lot of first of alls i just want to get everything and first of all sorry let me back up first of all let me just say hi hi hey and oh my god thank you i also just want to well we never did that on our episode not even close we weren't even in the neighborhood there was no hi there was no

she didn't say hi no but we're just you know i just wanted to get two big bags of money that's the thing i don't think she said thank you either i definitely yeah i definitely i made a lot of mistakes and that's why i'm happy that you guys even let me come back here because i do think you know yeah did you listen back there's an opportunity i couldn't i you think i could yeah i wouldn't no i'm traumatized by yeah but i think that was a mistake too uh mary hi i'm it's so funny to be like because i've been thinking a lot about me yeah well i'm doing the scooping thing oh did you hear about this I did with nuts and berries, yeah. Yes.

And I've been thinking about you just because I was looking at different techniques. And yours is, I was like, it's so different from all the others I've seen. Yeah. It's a little counterintuitive, isn't it? Well, it is. Because I use the back of my hand. That is the thing. I use the back of my hand. That is the thing. I use the back of my hand.

Somehow it doesn't fall off yours like it does mine. You can sort of concave it in a way. Because it's that thing of where in order to go up, you must go down. Have you heard that phrase? I haven't really found that to be true but okay there's there's acceptance yes of the of the nuts and berries that way there's a you live in acceptance in that way because you play the game haze where um you'd balance a lighter on the back of your fingers and then you would sort of throw it up in the air and someone would try to gently

catch it you know like so and just sort of accept the momentum it seems really dangerous so no i don't think i am going to be playing that game that sounds mary mary can do three loops i can do three loops by myself you do three loops i don't need anybody else to be there to catch it i can do it by myself i can do three loops by myself and guess what the lighter can be on the whole time the lighter's burning the whole time the lighter is on you can you have one that just stays on she sets it to on yeah i because there's a switch every lighter has a switch it just says an on off switch yeah it has an on off switch because you yeah you ignite it but then it also has a switch it just says an on off switch yeah it has an on off switch because you yeah you ignite it but then it also has a switch on the butt on the that you just flick if you ever look

at the ass part of the lighter there's usually a switch there that you can just set to on if you're if you're actually willing to investigate this world we live in yeah i know you have to have a curious mind you have to have a curious mind which You have to have a curious mind, which, you know. You do. You do. I do. For sure. Robert Spencer talked about that.

Well, let's talk about that. Let's talk. I'm so curious what your, you know, your co-writer of The Happiest Season of All also played a role in it as well. There's absolutely no denying that. A starring role, I would say. The star. Oh, you would say that? I would say that.

Clea, would you not? You don't think? She didn't. She expressly didn't. She was given a pretty direct opportunity to say that. Yes. I mean, I guess it's, I think that you and I, and this is something we have always sort of

clashed about like the definition of what a star is you know like you think that anybody on screen is a star and I think it's like you know the people a lot of stars in the sky sort of like the main you say part of

the nature of stars sure is that there's so, so, so, so many of them. I did. But that's interesting. I mean, it is true. Anybody who's on screen you describe as a star. I remember walking out of Capturing the Freedmen's with you.

And you said, wow, all that star power up on screen. I did. You know, I was taken aback. That was not my reaction to the film yeah i mean well i just came out i mean honestly i wasn't even paying attention to what happened in the film because there was so much that was obvious as we discussed it more it became really clear yeah that some stuff had been missed and yeah i just what i'm starst glad. You're odd. I just love, I mean, it's, what I loved about Capturing the Freedmen

is that they did capture them. They captured them in their, in all of their stardom and all of their glory. And I just thought that movie was so

moving because of that. Yeah, I mean, we're just never going to see that movie the same way. And that, yeah,

that was a sort of misconception. It's actually about the attempt to capture that movie the same way. Yeah, that was sort of a misconception. It's actually about the attempt to actually capture them. Right. Yeah, I know. They need to be captured. Exactly. I don't think we're saying the same thing.

I'm curious. I mean, it's an ensemble movie, but do you think of anyone? Is everyone kind of playing a role in it or are are there stars are there people who are starring in in the movie it it is it is definitely an ensemble um i think i i i don't really use the term star um because it creates a sort of hierarchy not only amongst the cast but also amongst the crew. And I think it's except for Kristen who is the star.

But like other than her you know everybody else and then Mackenzie is also the star. Right and then of course obviously me and then I mean I think then well no know like allison is a star yeah i was gonna say i was gonna say aubrey and dan levy is he's a star we definitely that guy's

and me i think he's probably me too there mary is a star steenburgen yeah yeah m Mary Steenburgen is definitely a star and then you know Victor Garber we discussed him before and I think we should definitely circle back to some casting things about him but we'll put a pin in that for later once we get to it and then probably yeah so other than those people

I feel like everybody else even playing field so interesting I heard. So interesting. I heard Victor sent you a text. Yeah. I didn't really recognize like the extent of like what has happened to this relationship. But the fact that you didn't pitch him, you know, gave me a hint.

But I heard he sent you a text after you appear on the show. Yeah. And it said, you disgust me and you disgust me yeah and it's funny because when i looked up at the previous five texts i had gotten from him yeah all the same so it's like it's not it's sort of like netting out we netted maybe not even related to the episode yeah yeah it could have been okay i mean there was one that i like i went back further in our text and there was a text that said don't pitch me don't so okay don't pitch me okay so so you hadn't even seen that but you still knew

not to do it yeah yeah yeah because i it's yeah if victor we are never gonna get this movie made but clea i have a question was he in that text though because that was from months ago right the don't pitch me was he referring to the baseball game was he was he referring to the baseball game well let's talk about the cast baseball game because I feel like that's an important part of the story. Don't pitch me. Don't even try. You gotta pitch the ball. You put one in the zone,

I'm putting it out of this building. That's what Victor's telling you. I see a big honking meatball fly over the plate. You better believe I'm taking a bite. I'm getting on one way or another. It's your choice as to how. Yeah, I mean, he has has a big like when it comes to sports he's a huge trash talker and that is true um yeah i don't know if it's trash when you

back it up like that why would you say and that is true yeah why did you say that just now why would you say and that is true about why did you say that some of the stuff not been true like do i have to check every time you do and i'll tell you right now you need to fact check most of what clea says because if she doesn't confirm that it is true right after she says it it's probably usually have kevin do it yeah kevin has anything popped up so far anything that have you cross referenced anything kevin that's like come up and been like something that we need to correct have there been some stuff that's untrue because i i want to be able to release it in good conscience i don't want to be spreading more of this

misinformation right is there any fake stuff nope not yet nothing Nothing was fake? Okay, great. Nothing was fake? Okay. Well, listen, it's just a matter of time. Unless she says, and that is true. Big wink to Clea. I got you. Thanks, Kevin. I worry because Hayes was talking about health, like modern health solutions and stuff up here, and I just feel like we've created a window

now for clea to kind of bust her way in and start dispensing some of her covid theories and i just i'd rather focus on the new year's eve movie right where most of the you know most of the cast will have covid the characters will have covid. The stars. Because we do want to... Most of the stars. We want to address that in the film. COVID is sort of like a character in the film. COVID is. COVID is the fifth character. Yeah. COVID is stars. Carson.

I love that. Seanan Hayes. Santa. And COVID. I love that. Where did we land? We... So, I mean, it's the we it's the we that's making me it makes me uncomfortable right we're not i i and and is there i i do think there's potentially a pathway back to that but i i'm not seeing it's like it's not before me for now would you have the instinct to say we can you just say y'all's where did y'all's land on we're saying y'all's now it's a little like it's a little

just conclusive it's a little folksy yeah yeah well where did y'all where did y'all's land with Carson because what like right off the bat you y'all's were we're saying that like we're not going to Carson's by the end of this no matter what and now I'm hearing that rule that the one rule but then carson is a character well carson is one of the five covid carson santa but so we're are we still are y'all still seeing santa even or see carson i'm sorry we're gonna see carson yeah no i knew what carson signs up for i've had to swim clea a little bit these past few weeks. No, you knew. You wanted to say Carson.

I think he comes to us finally, which has been something in the relationship where it's like we're always going to him. We're always meeting Carson where he's at. I think it betrays the character if we go to Carson's. But for Carson to come to us, there is progress there. That is a bridge to a future where we can have a successful functioning relationship with Carson. I mean, you're Carson in some ways. Well, I was just going to say, if I may be so bold, first of all, I just want to say that it isn't this.

There's like a beautiful metaphor that's happening right before our very eyes in that in that in that yes nuts berries is clea carson and haze and sean are you haze and sean and is this the movie i mean we're rapidly approaching new year's eve i mean am i crazy so this is interesting i was i still haven't gotten really an answer on like what mary's role of the partnership yeah for sure i'm getting a little bit more of a sense of it well i bring a sense of danger i think is what i contribute i don't feel safe being scared good good yeah you art shouldn't feel safe art should feel like you're gonna die at any moment and that's what i bring to the partnership clear i think you would agree with yeah oh 100 yeah i felt scared most of the time working with you. So that's true.

Wow. And that's it. Thank you. And you fact checked that that quickly. Okay. So I'm curious for weight because I, you know, I have sure a lot of times I'll be watching a movie and I'll feel like I'm

about to die. What? i'll be watching a movie and i'll feel like i'm about to die what i understand how we can create that feeling for y'alls in the production where like i said if i with the so that since we last spoke my jeans often that they'll like sort of erode and thin, especially the way I wear them. They'll develop a sort of sheerness in not too much time. These jeans are so raw that actually they've sort of accumulated some of my sheddings, my physical sheddings,

and now they're even more cakedaked and thick does that mean skin like what kind of shedding is partly skin some of its skin and what's the rest of it some of its skin for sure what's the rest of it what's the rest of it oils hair oils hair um yep keratin like uh clippings sebum sebum okay yeah just a general different like effluence like different you know anything that anything that leaks and it's all caked on there and so the the selvedge is so raw that like if if it makes contact with water again it's going to take a while for the water to seep in but if it does seep in there's going to be no extracting me from this pool that's how logged and laden the issue is you're not going to get anything you want right because the cannonball effect will be ruined because the genes will reject the water and haze will momentarily float and be suspended yes there's no you know there's going to be hydrophobic no

splash no sound but then the second that the water does get in probably through the ankle holes yep that's it for haze and we're not gonna be able to remove them from the jeans either it's a wrap on haze yes oh so haze dies that's a wrap on haze permanently well this is why we're thinking maybe there's no water in the pool 19 to 2022 i'm hoping like we i mean we gotta actually get on the same page because otherwise this thing's gonna be late hollywood handbook hey guys it's hayes so january the annual time of the new year's resolution and the unveiling of the new you this year whether the new you means finally seeing what's underneath that beard or finally rocking that stash harry's has the tools for your closest cleanest shave ever and i'm sort of

developing a uh a new me of my own uh specifically there's there's something i left behind in 2022 and that was the bullshit i will no longer be dealing with the bullshit on this show, certainly not in advertising with our ad partners, Santa Man, all these fake stories that we did for so long with Harry's. I want to tell real stories, man. Enough of this bullshit, fake shit. Let's talk about real life. Let talk about so i get this harry's all right i get the truman the shave trial kit five blade german engineer razor weighted hand foaming shave gel and a travel cover and i'm shaving it i'm a shaving fool man working that little thing up and down with a quickness and i'm looking so damn good and i'm while i'm going around looking this good wouldn't you know it things start looking up

for the haze man right when i start using my harry's tr. And I get a call from the hotel I'm suing. So I stayed in this hotel in Manhattan, New York a few years ago on a trip to the Tribeca Film Festival just as a fan. I'm just a fan of what they're doing. And I get in the room and I see in the room it's got a little table and chair. And so I say, well, I know what I'm doing tonight.

Anytime my room has a little table and chair like that, I'm not going to let it go to waste. I am having dinner at that table. So I go to Pastanini's. I get a whole spread. Walk all the way over there. Walk back with all my pasta nini. Dump it on this little table. I went to a silverware store and I got all my special silverware.

Have my big dinner at my hotel before I go to the Tribeca Film Festival. And as I sit down in the chair, I just give the leg of the table a little bump, which is very normal for me, and all of the pasta nini goes onto the floor. And so I call up the front desk, and I say, did you hear that? And he says, no. And I said, that's the sound of your ass being sued off.

So I file this suit. Been pursuing it ever since. I get a call after I start using my Harry's, my Harry's Truman, that the hotel is going to let me stay there for another night. Because that's all I was really, that's, I was willing to drop it as long as, all I wanted was for all of us just to get another whack at this. All I wanted was my experience to, I just wanted the story to play out as it should. So I'm packing, I'm getting ready, I'm putting my travel cover play out as it should. So I'm packing. I'm getting ready.

I'm putting my travel cover on my Harry's Truman. The blades, it's a $15 value. It's just three bucks. So I'm dumping all these into my suitcase. And I'm getting ready to go on my big trip. Maybe I'll tell that story, that big trip another time. Getting a little, this is becoming a little bit of a stem winder here. Like I said, I left that bullshit behind in 2022.

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and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. And I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger? Because it looks like an emergency. I know I was supposed to do something.

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was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys and so let's talk about i guess instilling a fear of imminent death in the audience yeah in in viewing this film yeah like you gotta have the cameraman hold a knife right here you know well this is mary's thing oh sure yeah you might have a better way i want to hear because you can't probably can't see santa or anything if they're if it's that close to the

yeah no i wouldn't i would say and this is just like a filmmaking thing. I would say like, don't put anything in front of the lens that you don't want to see. Okay. Work for children of men. And so. Didn't children of men. Oh, that's okay. No. Pretty okay.

And so. Anything. What I'm wondering. Mary famously hates. I thought it was a good movie. Yeah, Mary doesn't like, famously doesn't like Children of Men. She thinks that one shot is pretty cheap. Snooze.

It was really just too hectic. It's too much. What am I looking at? Am I looking at the Children of Men? Where am I looking at? She said snooze. So hectic. It put me right to sleep.

It's so hectic and made me want to take a freaking nap. Snooze. You just get overwhelmed. You just exactly going to lie down. It sounds like, you know what I think? I think of children of men as my alarm clock. And when that thing's going off, I'm hitting snooze. OK, I do.

I want to. I want to find it. So I the audience i'm watching this yeah i'm thinking holy shit i'm gonna die these people are gonna kill me these people are gonna kill me right now yeah and i think the way we do that is we direct address to the camera at some point somebody in the movie says to the camera there's a bomb and and the audience feels like they're being they're being talked to directly because the inside your tv star the star looks at down the barrel and says there's a bomb i think we do have to just say there's a bomb we can't say inside we don't want to get too specific because we're watching on their phone i would love to do everybody's watching this stuff on their phones now you

can't even say tv right yeah and if we can get this yeah exactly do we want them do do we want to give a like hey yeah you just to really make it feel like yeah you're getting the audience's attention yeah it's like hey hey, you with the glasses. Well, this is how Happy Seasons of Oz came to be. But Mary, I like the specificity of the glasses, but what if one person is watching it at home alone and they don't have glasses on? Okay, your pants. No, people are watching it at home.

on okay your pants and i feel like it kind of break no hey you at home no no way people are watching excluding our entire kilt based audience kilt this is we want this bottom bottom if we do this right a lot of our we have the the kicky skirt market you know it's like what we're kind of going for like something really just kind of fun and kicky. Hey, you. You got are you? What's that skirt? Well, that's why I suggested something more universal, which is, hey, yeah, you. Hey, yeah, you.

I think you're right. Like you're saying, hey, well, can I can I punch this? And then you confirm. Yes. Can I punch this up? Just quickly. Hey, y'alls. Yes i love it yeah i love y'alls there's a bomb y'alls well but but remember you do need to communicate the danger so i i it can't be too it can't be too

like hey i wasn't giving a read okay it's just just don't do that like that on the day is all I'm saying. Mary, could you try it? Am I saying it? Could you try one with, could you just try one for us the way we want it to be? Just so we know what to tell the actor? Or y'all, y'all, y'all know what to tell the actor? Yeah. Hey, y'alls.

Yeah, y'alls. There's a, there's a bomb that was really that was off that was really good but wow and now that you're sort of warmed up can we do one more where the beginning is like a just a little, can we do it one a little harder? Yeah, let's not change our mind in the middle. Yeah. Oh. Let's clean up the ending a little as well. Oh, okay. Because that sound.

Yeah, was anyone else feeling? Yeah, I didn't love the sound. It bummed me. The sound. Let's do one no sound and let's do, let's get the beginning beginning let's know what we're gonna do from the very start of it so i'm not because you know there's a bomb you know what

i mean if you're saying this and maybe a few options so get there's a bomb clean and maybe a few options for like how it's how it's gonna kill over you and okay the kind of bomb or um okay what's the rating uh should we be able to do we want to cuss i thought we were going hard r but i don't know yeah that's that was my impression because i wanted to see i thought we were going soft yeah oh i thought we were trying to just squeak just just actually find the edge of PG-13 and then just push it right over into R. Just one thing too many. The softest R.

Okay, so. If you feel like cussing, I would say you have the freedom to do it and we can always bleep it. Okay, yeah. Hey, fuck you. Well, you beep. There's a bomb and it's gonna go any second. I really like this direction, but this is so good.

Yeah. One thing with that the because you go hey fuck you and that to me like i think like i i as the audience still have questions a lot of people will turn the tv off as well yeah so i think because it's like the hey grabs them and then the yeah you yeah you answer hey yeah you sort of like yeah, you. Yeah. So I think that, yeah, you is really important. So I'll leave that in there. I miss y'all. I miss y'all. You can have fun with the rest of it, but. I'm still hearing the noise as well.

The noise was at the end. There's a noise you make at the end that I don't like. I thought this was like a choice in Happy Seasons of All and other things that I've seen you. But like, I guess I don't even know if you know you're doing it. You maybe can't control the noise. What is the noise? What is the noise?

Can you just tell me what it is? I'd rather not make it. I don't like hearing it. What does it sound like? Honestly, I can't do it, but it's this little noise you make. It's kind of like that. It's not exactly that,

but it's a little like that. Do it again, Clea. It's like, well, why don't you do it again and the second you make the noise i'll make the noise right after okay okay okay so we'll we'll take it from the top okay hey yeah you fuck there's a bomb okay so you you did break character so we're gonna have to do it again i just thought i guess i assumed the beep would be in post i didn't i didn't think that i assumed it would be we don't have time to do we don't have time to do anything in post we have to do it all in camera there is no post there's no we do it all in camera. There is no post. We already missed Christmas.

If we take the time post. Yeah. No, it's happening. This is it. Okay. So, okay. So, okay. But when we cut and when you guys give me notes like this,

this is all going to be in the movie. Well, I don't. Yeah. What you're telling me. It'll have to be especially if you keep ignoring the notes so i do miss y'all's um uh that felt better to me and i do y'all's even with breaking you did you did kind of make the noise so really let's avoid is it like it what is it like is it like a like a it's not like anything it's a, what is it like? Is it like a, like a. It's not like anything.

It's honestly. No, it is exactly what it is. And it's. It's like a. It's a big problem. It's like a. It's an uh. It's kind of like that.

I did not. It's kind of like that. But again, you did great. Okay, I won't. I won't. This time I won't. This time I won't. Okay.

Ready? Okay. Yeah. Action. Hey, y'alls. Yeah. Y'alls. Fuck.

There's a bomb. Ah! Did you hear it that time? I heard the beat. So I think... I did too, and the beep was closer, Kevin. That was better. I won't credit where it's due. I'm getting closer each time.

You've only done it twice.. I'm getting closer each time. You've only done it twice. So I'm getting closer each time. What is the fuck? What is that to me? That's just because you were avoiding saying fuck you. Which, by the way, I'm just mentioning, if a character turns the

camera on my TV and says fuck you i go oh no pal not in my house fuck you well but that's what we want don't we want that then maybe we want them to think there's a bomb leave space yeah after maybe a little more space after that you say the fuck you to give them a chance to say no fuck you fuck you yeah i'm concerned about the space direction for like what what kind of noises we're going to be getting like and to fill up that space i almost because that actually makes me think the noise is like a space noise isn't it it's like a yes it's it's like when uh um it's like opening the door on a spaceship or something.

Isn't that the sound? It is a little like that. It's a decompression. The one that I know. Yes, yes, yes. Like a space door. But it's like the spaceship is nervous. It's sick.

It's like the spaceship is sick. Okay. So do it? No, do not do it. Don't do it. It betrays the character. Because the character who is saying there's a bomb. Who is my character in this?

I want them to believe they're a person. I think you're, well, I guess Clea's Carson. I guess you're Santa at this point. Yeah. Wow, the star. That's what we need. And this is all, all we gotta do this now like okay okay yeah okay yeah yeah okay uh cleo can i get an action yeah yeah yeah okay settle

action hey y'alls yeah y'alls fuck y'alls. Yeah, y'alls. Fuck y'alls. There's a bomb. Okay. Okay. Are you not hearing it, Mary? You don't hear what you're doing? Because I feel like it's just getting more and more pronounced every time. Because that time you kind of even did it twice. I don't because i feel like it's just getting more and more pronounced every time because that time you kind of even did it twice i don't know what to tell you i mean i in my head i

just alerted them to the fact that there's a bomb and then i said okay so it's big to get confirmation from them and then i was just silent and i let it land i didn't mind so i'm i'm picking up on on something and even as it's happening to me, I do have to kind of respect it. So Clea has worked her way all the way back into this project. And as I've been sort of attempting to divine Mary's role in this, is that you bring her into something and by the time all the issues are worked out it's just everyone who's there is like that's it's them that's it that's the movie you know we don't have time to do anything sort of a clever strategy because we so much time has taken up kind of dealing with Mary that we can't really make

any other artistic choices around it. And so you do end up with complete control. Well, do you see what else she did? She's now the star of the movie. She came in as just sort of like a consultant, a bridge between y'all didn't know what her role was now she's gonna be now i'm santa now she's santa and the movie is called love and santa so i guess love gets top billing but i don't think anyone's gonna play the main star of the movie

unless kevin dresses up like cupid or something is playing a pretty central role and one of the most pivotal moments in the movie which is telling the audience that they're about to be killed by a bomb yeah do we do like the first thing that happens i guess how many bombs do we actually need to have this be like a a legitimate threat where people will start to see on the news that bombs are going off i know it's not like a million and like look i don't know how many people are gonna be like in success that's great if like a million people are watching this having a million bombs yeah yeah but like i also know it's not like one or two bombs either we need like to have kind of fun to be like like if you watch this move like yeah you'll you know there's some

percent chance you watch that movie like because it's people are yeah but then i'm also concerned that we're gonna put these bombs out there and then someone's going to decide not to watch the movie. You may only need one. If you know someone's going to watch. I mean, it should be one of our parents or something so we know that it's somebody who's going to watch. But I would say, like, if you do that,

then it's basically proven it's a non-zero chance, like, a bomb could go off while you're watching the movie right when the character says there's a bomb. Unless you want to say it multiple times in the movie, Hayes. I'm just concerned that they decide not to watch the movie. There's no way we're going to be able to rig this thing so it goes off at a certain moment in the movie. It's just going to go off.

I think that's exactly what we should do. I think we have to do that. We can't. We don't. It's December 28th. We must. Okay. We can't have it at the same part in every part,

like at the same part in all, like all the bombs have to go off at different times because people could go online and be like, I was watching the movie and then at like 15, yeah it like my everything exploded but that's but then we won when that conversation's happening i just feel like every time i talk to you guys if i can say this like i feel like every time we do talk that a big piece of the conversation is before we get anywhere what can't happen like from a production standpoint what can't happen and so i'd like to talk about for a moment creatively what's best

and what would be the most satisfying way to explode one of our parents during the movie and after that without us saying after that we can deal with logistics and if we do have to adjust let's compromise then and not before we've even decided like what would be kind of our dream version because it sucks the fun out of it for me and i think there's an opportunity possibly to say you know hey there wasn't just that one bomb you know hey y'all's like there's another actual bigger bomb again santa could or you know another character could say it well but well how would santa do that i mean do you want to get another action he can uh guess what he can go over the whole world in one night and put presents everywhere okay so hey mary just show us don't talk about it just show us. Don't talk about it. Just show us. Ready to action. Hey, y'alls.

It's me again. You thought that was just the one? I missed the settle on this one. I missed the settle. Yeah. And also we need, you can't say y'alls and then you. You got to stick with the y'alls. Oh, I have to stick with the y'alls. And you're making me not like y'alls anymore.

Just the way you're doing it. I don't like it now. Oh, okay. Cool. So Sean, y'all's anymore. Just the way you're doing it. I don't like it now. Oh, okay. Cool. So Sean, y'all's wanted to scrap it completely. Just go you. For her. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Settle. Hey. I already did. Mary's playing Santa. Mary. Wait.

Settle. I'm sorry. I already did. Okay. I already did. Mary's playing Santa. Settle. I'm sorry. I already did. Okay. Thanks, Anna. Hey, you. Okay, and I didn't even say action.

Oh, sorry. Settle action. Hey, you. It's me again remember from before there's more than one bomb there's a bigger one and it's right behind you oh okay so that's feeling better i'm like crazy that felt really close and i've taken you know sean i think the way he delivered that message was actually really inappropriate about how you know the whatever the whole purpose of this completely out of line i could feel it while i was doing it i said what's wrong with me why am i these people are my friends why am i talking to them this way and so my everyone

wants to make a good project my first reaction was like i have to report this to someone but but who but now i i then i did when mary was doing what something i did sort of internalize that and thought okay how do we take like the logistical impossibility of this putting bombs and all these different places and getting them timing them to blow up at different moments in the movie in the movie yeah i think if we say them say enough times that there is a bomb about to blow you up that you're watching this if that's most at some point at some point we are going to just statistically we're gonna look into yeah and exactly like someone is already set somewhere sorry can i can i just i don't know if that this technology exists what if the noise that mary makes somehow

triggers the bomb if we can have like a voice activated detonator that is sensitive only that noise because i've never heard it anywhere else in life it's possible there's any danger my noise yes i i don't think you admit that it is yours i I mean, you are... Just because you keep telling me this, I don't know... There's so many noises happening in this movie. The only reason I said my noise was to confirm that it's the one... There are a lot.

There's more than we need. There's splash. There's... Like the door opening. There's, you know... Well, there's also that... Because you're insisting... Cookies chomping.

Cookies chomping. Exactly. Thank you. Yes also that because you're assisting cookies exactly thank you yes but also you're insisting on wearing a leather vest and sitting on like a plastic chair and so yeah there's a lot of noise there's a lot of eating cookies clea wait is that like is that uh is that a big thing for you that he's eating i'm not married you? I'm not married to it. I'm not married to it. It's not a hell I'd die on. A's is on this nuts and berries. That's a lie. Sorry, Cleo.

I just feel like it's like New Year's Eve. He just ate like so many cookies. Yeah. I guess in my mind, is probably the my first mistake is i was thinking that your first he still had okay he he he still had so many cookies left over like i think like by the end of the night that that's no more presents filled with cookies yeah like he's not yours but i still think he's like i don't want to look at a damn cookie like you know he must be but i think that could be a funny

runner you know like if people keep offering him cookies and he's like you know he can't it's like yeah it's common it's just like a little bit of comic relief yeah that's good that's funny that's why he mostly just like takes one bite out of them and leaves the rest that's funny all these have eaten cookies around yeah so by the end of the movie he's like you're well by the end of the movie you don't even need to like you don't even need to say anything you could just see a plate of cookies show up oh yes dying the audience is dying and then he looks at the camera and he goes this again my cook there's a bomb behind i guess maybe cookies again you maybe this again oh boy i'm almost these this cookies not again this cookies again this cookies again you better watch out for the bombs i don't think i understood

that the cookies were actually the visual language of the film yes and i'm actually loving this idea and this cookies again there's a shorthand you've created again is i think could be the line other than the bomb line that really breaks through and becomes kind of the signature of the film. This cookie? Yeah. This cookie's again? Yeah. This cookie's again. I mean, you could see it on, you know, you see and I'm also thinking about just merchandising

just thinking ahead to like that part of it. I could just see it. You could slap this cookie's again all over it. Oh my gosh, a bumper sticker. you could um yeah did you you must have heard that one there's no way you didn't

There's no way you didn't. I heard myself contribute an idea. I didn't. Kevin, have you fact-checked Mary if she can hear that or not? Whether or not she can hear that? Whether or not she can hear it, yeah. Can she hear it? It seems like she can hear it out of one ear.

So what year are you listening on the Zoom, Mary? Both. Am I right? Did you say Mary? Yeah, I heard Mary as well. Oh, I got to fact check myself. Okay, I said Mary. Oh, so this explains. Yeah, Kevin said going into this, he's so excited because he wants to see that that he or she made a porno

oh no with zach right with zach he thought it was mary from zach oh no kevin i'm not mary from zach and mary made a porno we said this movie was rated high class porno and mary was coming that's right i forgot this movie is rated high class porno and Mary was coming. That's right. I forgot this movie is rated high class porno. I've forgotten so much about. I was traumatized by that first episode we did together. But this feels like we've got, you know, as dysfunctional as it is, a working collaboration. And it's our little family and no one outside would understand. But I think we

have 90 of the movie in the can at this point yeah we filmed it do we film it yes yes yeah we've been we've been filming mary it's in the can oh so uh we just need probably a couple pickups So we just need probably a couple pickups. And Kevin can do those. I can do pickups. And then Mary, I did secure. Kevin, I'll do pickups. Mary, I did secure Vogue 73 questions with you.

Oh, wow. Really? So number one is very bad. Okay. He's got weirdly a lot of these to pass around. He is very bad at booking guests for the show and certainly promotional opportunities for us except for Vogue 73 questions, which he can get for pretty much anyone

walking down the street. Fast-tracked in there. Miri, what is your favorite time of day today that was quick just give me a couple minutes oh should i take longer that was the only one you that was the only one you had what's your idea of a perfect date my idea oh do you hear the sound now yeah that's just thinking that was a big all right okay i go i go to chili's i don't know okay okay all right bye okay bye that was a hate gum podcast