Hollywood Handbook - Clea DuVall, Our Creative Partner Friend

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

The Boys bring in CLEA DUVALL to find out why, exactly, not one single second of Love & Santa has been shot yet. Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen and watch on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. Quickly, quick, quick, quick, quick. Ah, you're looking well. As are you? What? Okay. Of course. But I told you.

Thanks. I told you what it would be. And thankfully, I think we've done this enough times that we're ready for it. Don't take it personal. Don't take it personal. It's fine. It's not personal with her. And what we've learned is it's always business.

That the collaboration here, and I think we found there is something special when we put these ingredients together, there is a delicious stew to be made. But we had come to it with a misunderstanding that. Part of these creative partnerships, right, is that there's a friendly emotional element. And that's just not always the case with everyone. And just eyes open, knowing that when Hayes and I work together, it's like, we actually like love each other. Like we are in love and we love each other. And so there's a joy in that that it's like, is it a business?

Yeah, I guess we get a little bit of dough for making the show. Like, I guess that's, you know, part of it is not really why we do it. And then sometimes you encounter people, Cleeckley, for instance, where that doesn't have to be a piece of it, that there's this, um, uh, warmth or joy in the process of making something, right? Yeah, I mean, I think that we... No, you go now. No, go, go. No, I mean, I think that we creatively, we mesh. Like, that is like, you can't... The work that we have done together is undeniable.

I almost wish that wasn't the case, but it's undeniable. It's undeniable. And I think that when we do try to add the personal element, that's when things go south. Well, this is part of... this is part of I don't want to say the problem and I'm a solutions guy I always want to be coming with

like here's how we we don't need to talk about the problem if I'm living in the problem I'm not talking about the solution all I want to do is in a practical way figure out how to get where we need to go from here I will tolerate anything anything

for the work for the product on the other side once that is like in front of people like everything else is gone. Right. It doesn't need to be doing

a show with someone I am in love with. Right. To That happens to be the scenario that we're in. It didn't have to be that. To also have output and input

every single week doesn't need to be that doesn't have to be I do want to point out that while I agree with you we have mesh creatively the ideas are fucking the most like premium

choice cuts like Kobe beef like the most beautiful marble round And that makes it that much more frustrating that I do just want to point out we have not made a movie, not a single thing has come out of this partnership. Not a frame has been shot to date, which makes what we've created no less impressive. But it is difficult, yes, to share some of the Kobe beef. that has been generated when,

and I'm going to say you, when you have failed to produce anything or do anything. Even turn the camera on. Yes, even turn the camera off. I feel like the last time we were together, we did talk about not using you language. And I want to point out that I feel you language has been used. and that immediately puts me on the defensive.

I'm not going to say who did it. I'm just talking about my own feelings here. Okay. But that's coming from, okay, I honestly don't even know how to say this without doing the thing I'm not supposed to do. I know, I know, I know. And I ran into it. I ran into it as well.

Not using that language is coming from the person who needs to be talked. about in a critical way. So how do we do that? One of us in this room has not delivered on the promise of the collaboration. Someone in the room has not delivered. So that's allowed? Telling him what he feels is allowed. Well, I'm just helping him.

I'm just helping him because it's. It just seems like he doesn't understand. I'm trying to figure out what's allowed. Apparently making a movie is not allowed. Yes. That we know can't happen unless someone in the room, and it's not me and it's not Hayes and it sure is fucking Richie, does something with a camera to show everyone the genius ideas that we've been coming up with.

And we've had so much good stuff. The characters that we've created. that we've created. Yeah. I do want to point out that as time passes, as it tends to do, beef doesn't, you can age it, you can dry age it. It has to be in exactly the right conditions that this beef is very wet. It's starting to get wet aged.

Yeah. And the concept of, for example, a lot of the original premise of Love and Santa was kind of built around this idea of a Swimply, which was a pool sharing app. That was very, very popular when we first started doing this. At the time that we introduced

it, 22 that app was extremely relevant to the cultural conversation that was happening. Because of the unexpected delays in the physical production of the film, uh,

The country has moved on a little bit from Swimply, and I'm wondering, actually, if that element needs to be updated or removed, and we cannot remove it without replacing it with something. Yes. And I do have something. You agree with that. Okay. When the other people at this table called me and asked me to come in, I, you know, I had been waiting for this call. And I, because I, because again, the Kobe beef that I understand is getting wet. It's not, it's not soaked, but it's getting there.

So I, I did sort of line something up, a new sponsor who I think is going to like help us bring Love and Santa to the screen. And it is shrimply. So it is sort of like a shrimp sharing site where you, like you go to places and you can. get site meaning website well app app i'm sorry sorry um it's an app and does it have a terrestrial landing page as well it well it's in beta right now like it will by the time like we need they're sort of like we are sort of launching the film with them but i think you want to drive people to the app at this point i mean even the even the landing page should just be you don't want it to be so easy to use that nobody is using the app exactly

Exactly. Exactly. Does any of like location tracking us up, you can't have that with it? Yeah, you just can't farm the data in the same way without getting people to actually directly subscribe. Okay. Shrimply. So we have a little bit of a surfing turf thing going on.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. We have the beef and then we have now the shrimp. And this is being used primarily by event caterers. It's anyone who, it's the app, basically you go on the app. It is always, you have to set the location sharing to always. Yes, always. Of course.

And it's basically any time you are like, you want to like, you're like, I'm kind of hungry. I want like a snack. And then it shows you anywhere around you that has. Just, I'm helping. Shrimp. I'm me. I'm craving shrimp. I want shrimp right now.

Yes. I do. I do what. Exactly. In your version of. the world. Sean, you don't have to do anything. You have the app always on. What about I'm me? I have

too many shrimp. I cannot eat all this shrimp. Yes. I do what exactly? Well, it, I mean, it depends on what you need. Like, okay, you have too much shrimp. I need somebody to eat my shrimp. I'm me. I'm hungry.

I want shrimp. my tummy's so crumbly I want shrimp I need it now my tummy hurts the store's closed I had too many shrimp I cannot eat any more

I do what exactly okay so you have your the app is location always sharing and notifications always on so you are feeling so grumb but like so hungry and then a notification

oh, these are all the places that have shrimp near me. This exists? It's in beta. It's in beta, yeah. And then you are, I have too much shrimp, what am I going to do? You send an alert. It sends the alert to everyone around you, shrimp. This guy.

I have to have push notifications on? Always, yes. And ask app to track. Is there a bidding? Please track. Yeah. Is there a bidding process? I mean, I guess it depends on how, how,

many people are after your shrimp. Okay. Because if you get this influx of people coming to you to come get your shrimp, like they've gotten the notification. He's auctioning off the shrimp. It becomes that, yes. Quite a little bidness. But then you can do like a buy it now.

Right. Hey, Z you hear what I say? Did. Mm-hmm. You would do a buy it now. The bidness model. I do think he heard it. And you? I heard it as well. Yes. I've heard it as well.

Richie, have you heard what I said? that business model. And I do what? You sell your shrimp to, so Sean is hungry. You sell your shrimp to Sean. Okay. Sean buys your shrimp. Don't point at me.

If Richie and Sean show up at same time, then we're in business. Oh. So we don't know until we're outside the house where the shrimp are, whether or not we have actually won the auction for the shrimp. The shrimp is not guaranteed, no. So I get a push notification. I drive to the shrimp location. Then depending on how many other people are there, I guess from my car enter an aggressive bidding war in order to be the winner of the shrimp. By the time.

The shrimp opportunity. Yeah. But you can. But you said if they show up at the same time, that's the only when the, because the location is being tracked. And so that automatically triggers the bidding protocol. Yeah. But you can set a buy it now number. So, Sean, when you get that notification, you see the buy it now.

You can buy the shrimp. And then you've secured the shrimp at that point. And maybe like it can be broken out where it's like selling, I can sell them in tranches. Yes. Yes. It's up to you hold up. So if he only wants 300, 400, 400 shrimp, then. That's not going to be enough.

I'm me. I'm hungry for shrimp. I need way. more than that at the point that I'm using this app that I've asked to track and I'm going with a big fat wallet ready to bid. It's cash only, yeah?

Of course, yeah. So, you know, I'm getting involved in this and I'm bidding against Richie. We're battling each other. I got to have all the shrimp. I got to know that I'm not going to get undercut on some other section of shrimp. Now, if I'm shrimply,

and this is no business of mine, But if it's cash only, I would expect that Shrimply, the traditional model would be taking a cut of the proceeds of the sales. Unless it's, is this a subscription-based service? Yeah. So you pay a monthly fee just to have access to the resource, to know where the shrimp is available. Yes. And is there a vetting process where only certain people are even going to be a. proved to have the privilege of being on Shramply.

Yes, it is very similar to Raya in that way. Yes, okay. Oh, that's interesting. So it's very exclusive, very elite membership on Shramply. There are also lots of ads, lots of ads. Because they don't have the other funding stream. That's how we save you money. Now I get it.

Of course, I'm so fucking stupid. If they were taking a cut of the sales, people could show up for the shrimp. And then they could just be like, hey, let's just do this. Let's take this off the app. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, why are we paying? We're each paying a cut of this.

Like, let's just work this out between us. You got the cash. I got the shrimp. Like, let's just, let's not have all shrimp. We need on our system. Right. Unless by the time you get in the car even, by the time you get ready to post these shrimp, the transaction's already been made.

I like, I've paid my month already. Yeah. And so shrimply, like, you know, that's all gravy for them. Yeah, exactly. Could be good to put on the shrimp. Yeah. Yeah. And this is something where I can just imagine rocket money having to cancel people's shrimp leaves.

Because as I think about, as I think about I'm subscribing to this and what what a monthly subscription cost for premium membership? Premium 99, 99.99 for per month. I think, and is there a yearly model as well? And it does cost more to pay. More per month. It costs annual. Okay. But you do get access to better shrimp.

But it's just the convenience. But it's just the convenience. So I'm thinking, so let's say I got the yearly, which is going to be. 169. Yeah. So then it's going to be like back of the napkin math. Wait, it's $99 a month and $169 a 9.9 cents per year. No, it's $169.99.

Per month, yeah. I'll make it on 70. Yeah. Okay. So it's like, you know, roughly roughly $2,000 a year. It is easier to just wrap that. Just for the privilege to be allowed to bid on the shrimp, which can obviously get into the stratosphere if you have someone like Richie also craving shrimp at the same time. I don't think I'm going to use that more than eight or nine.

times a day. Like, I just don't see it. I don't see it coming up that often that I'm going to be entering these bidding wars double digit times per day. Yeah. Like, I just don't see it, which is fine. But I do think that's where rocket money possibly could be a partner for us in this, where when the bottom falls out of Shrampley, because the elite A-tier membership like us is realizing

like, we didn't need to do the yearly. We're only using this. Eight, maybe nine times a day. What I do see is people connecting with each other, strangers. And so like... You mentioned Raya. I honestly think, and there's like the smell of the shrimp is there. Like the ingredients are there.

Extremely errant. And so I really do see. Such an erotic scent. I see what Trimply is doing. And I think they could almost make their nut every year just on licensing the stories, which I assume they do own. Oh, yes. Stories from how they connected on Trimply. If we could partner, yes, and now we're coming full circle, right, back to producing some piece of filmed content, ideally with the camera on this time.

Yeah. That we are doing sort of a modern romance, you know, anthology, love dating, you know, today, current, all the crazy. Because people do all kinds of shit. Oh, yeah. I mean, when I was a kid growing up, he didn't do all this stuff. What you saw was one person meeting fucking another person. That was it. But now what happens is there's dozens of people, robots, animals, plants, all this stuff.

There's no rules anymore. I mean, it's disgusting. And with the shrimp involved, where they're putting it, I mean, I think what. The world's most powerful Afro-Mandesiac thrown into the mix? Yeah. Are you kidding me? Hundreds of them? Sometimes thousands.

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. So I could really see this putting rocket booster shoes on Love and Santa. Kevin had a note. Kevin? Other room. The call of the other room.

Just a minute. With this man. What could possibly be in that other room? I know. I can't picture the layout. Yes, you see behind him there's a door on each side of the room. But the other room is on both sides. So he has easiest possible access, no matter where he is.

But one side is guarded by a demon who can only tell the truth. And the other is guarded by a demon who could only lie. And so even Kevin, like, being able to get out of one of the doors is like this whole process for him. What's up, Clea? Not much. How you doing? Good to see you. Good to see you as well.

And this is the dessert before the nasty medicine that he has, which is he does have a no. He had a suggestion about love and Santa that he would like to share. I don't think it necessarily fights what we've been talking about.

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, actually it does. Yes. Okay. Five words. Young love and young Santa. I feel like this fits in perfectly. Really with the hypersexual, incredibly erotic sort of territory that we've wanted to

explore that you think making everyone much younger is going to help? He wants to do. I think what Kevin wants to do. Oh, are you thinking like a young Sheldon? Because that is too young. I have not asked. I don't want to like probe this too far with Kevin. I wonder if we could split the difference and find like an off campus type scenario.

That would be ideal, I think. Kevin is saying they shouldn't be that young for Pennsylvania, which I think because he has moved, his sort of standard of like what is normal has warped in some way. I don't know if it's older or younger. I assume it is younger. Okay. And I just don't want to engage with that at all with him.

He moved to Pennsylvania. Get this. He moved to Pennsylvania because he thought that that was where the characters from Hotel Transylvania went to school. Kevin. Are you hearing this? Yeah. Where in Pennsylvania?

Pittsburgh. Do you see the hat? I mean I do now I like Pennsylvania or Pittsburgh Pennsylvania Come visit I got an extra room friend That's the same room though

He's going to be in there a lot It's the same room It's that door Yeah And you can lock one door But the other one doesn't lock It's not good I would not go use that room

Are you Have you ever done a cup of coffee on any of these shows about the young people and they're sort of touching on each other and they're sort of doing frittage. I mean,

they're still sneaking around tricking. These people are pretending to be dating because they really want to be dating these other people and these other people are being tricked by that and then the people who are pretending are falling in love. No, I haven't.

No, it doesn't mean that. It doesn't help us. And. Well, it means you haven't. It means I haven't. Yes. But it means that I am maybe. Can you do a show called High School?

Yeah. But we're not going that now. The producers of the show watching them like, thanks. Well, we're not going that young, but what were they doing on that show? What were they doing on that show? They were being, they were being in high school. And they were being gay, but not telling people that that was happening. And then liking each other.

But then it was complicated. Well, this really reminds me of something that I had as an idea and was not related to Kevin's side of it. But, you know, we did just celebrate America's 250th birthday. There's an air of patriotism. We have a habit of not giving ourselves enough runway with these, you know, holiday movies we've been doing where we are always playing catch up. So we have a full year, essentially, from today. I think Santa should be in there. I think Santa could be young.

I think love should be a part of it. Guncle Sam. Gunkle Sam. Is this feeling right, relevant right now? So this would be for America's 251st birthday. Yes, yes. Which I think there will be the same amount of sort of fanfare. And maybe he's waiting 250 years to come out.

You know, I don't know exactly, but it's like with, your experience with high school, that actually could be relevant. Certainly wasn't relevant to what we were talking about before. So I'm now helping, I think. Okay. You never see him with an Aunt Samantha. He's a confirmed bachelor type. He's got that bird.

That he's, is like a companion for him. Yeah. It's an African gray. I mean, they live forever, too. So it's like, you know. Think of the secrets that African Greywood's kind of spilled as well. That's interesting. Almost like you telling everyone that the people on the show were being gay

even though they literally didn't want everyone. Explicitly were hiding it on the show. And the producers are like, wow. Oh, okay. It acts like the show didn't happen. Yeah. She's telling everyone that the people on it are being gay. Wow.

This could be a chance maybe to be more of an ally to Guncle Sam than you were, perhaps, to some of the characters on the high school show. Guncle Sam, Young Santa's Guncle. Right. Is that like, do we not overcomplicate this? Well, and they both have beards. Yeah, they both have white hair. Mm-hmm. And perhaps they both have beards.

I mean, because Santa, as we know, has a beard, but he is young. So does he have the beard as a young man? So yes. Yeah. Yeah, we still need to recognize him as Santa. Yeah, and he should be roughly the same height. And does Uncle Sam, excuse me, Uncle Sam also have the beard? Yes.

Okay, so we're talking about literal and metaphor. He has the beard. Okay. Yeah. Can we talk more about the beard characters, the metaphorical beard characters? Like, how are you? And is it that gunkle has the- Well, we'd said you'd ever see him without Samantha, but maybe there is. So that's not that implies he doesn't have a beard.

He has a friend who like, maybe they don't roommate. A companion who's a plus one, you know, perpetually. Yes. And it's sort of, you know, just to avoid any questions. And maybe this film, sometimes it feels so good to connect with you guys.

I know. Here's the why today. Uncle Sam's losing the beard. Oh. Uncle Sam is losing the beard. Clean-shaven. That one, okay. And, okay.

Juniper. Juniper. Is she met a guy. She met someone. She met someone. And this arrangement isn't working for her anymore. Right. Wow.

Now, Uncle Sam is out there. Yeah. Right? And this is where we bring in, right? Some of this modern dating stuff we've been talking about. Some of this shrimply stuff we've been talking about. Right? Yeah.

Right. Yes. Gun Uncle Sam is getting out there. Maybe a Roger Dodger thing with Young Santa. Yeah. Yeah. He's giving Young Santa directions on. how to woo ladies, but he doesn't know. Yes, doesn't really have those tools.

Right. And he's deciding, Jesus Christ, I'm 251 years old. How long am I gonna wait to really seek my own contentment and happiness and explore my sexuality, possibly through a shrimp-based sharing app? Yeah. That is tracking my location. Mm-hmm. Here's you, Roger, Dodger.

No. Campbell Scott. No. The soup, man. Young Jesse Eisenberg. No. Heisenberg. No.

Jesse Heisenberg. So, okay, so in this movie, Santa is also closeted. And maybe, so I don't have it yet, but it's like, and I don't have an impression, but it's, it's something where it's like, well, I am actually the one, the one who Knox. That's really good. I was trying to think of something that rhyme with Knox. That's really good. And he says he doesn't have it. Yeah.

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and we talk about the seasons that nearly broke them, the lows that carried them to their highs. Listen to Unshaken with Gary V on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You said Santa's gay too? No, I'm asking, because you're saying if they both have beards and they have beards. That implies, but is Santa's beard more about covering up that he has Sanchez? because he's not like a more of a part situation.

Yeah, I maybe shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have said that because I feel really confused now. I shouldn't have said that. Can you just talk? Because I, we are viving so hard. I know. And like, and I just want to like stay.

I do like your idea that he needs a beard type character to prevent people from knowing that he is married to Mrs. Claws, which would reveal that he is Santa. So she is still Mrs. Claus in the movie. Yeah. And he has a different name. His name is Santa. Okay.

But maybe his last name is different. Okay. He's not Santa Claus, right? Because he's not revealing that he's married to Mrs. Claus, which would, of course, he could be Santa Cruz. He can be Santa Cruz. Oh, yeah, like that. Like Tom Cruise.

Like Tom Cruise. Yeah. He's like Tom Cruise's, you know. cousin or something. I guess William Mapathar is already Tom Cruise's cousin. Yeah. Ethan from Lost. Yeah.

Well, he could have more than one cousin. I mean, that doesn't break the reality, does it? I don't know. For me, I actually did make a movie with William Mathbother. We played husband and wife. So I don't know if I'm going to be able to. To separate that. Yeah.

I just don't think I'm going to be able to separate that. Well, what if we cast him as Santa Cruz? Yeah. I mean, is that good casting then for Santa Cruz? For young Santa Cruz, we get William Mapithar. Could we do Santa Monica and maybe then? Monica Lewinsky. Monica Lewinsky?

Or I was thinking... You want to cast Monica Lewinsky as Santa Claus? I was actually thinking of Courtney Cox. You want to cast Courtney Cox as... Oh... You want her character... from the show called Friends. Yeah, the Friends.

It didn't hurt to be connected to that IP, by the way. To be. Young people are actually watching these older sitcoms. They actually are watching that. You know, it's like, is the sitcom dead, or are we just not making anything like Friends anymore? Because they're watching this. So what happened?

They don't want these short episodes. They want big episodes. But then we give them adults. And what do they say? Yeah. And then we hand deliver. No, yes. We give them overcompensating.

We didn't want that. We give them overcompensating. No. No, thank you. I'm not hungry. Eat it. It's. Finish your supper.

It is true. I admit that it is. How many shows with Owen Thiel do you want? You said you let Owen Thiel. Well, here's a whole damn Owen meal and all of a sudden you're not hungry I'm sorry

this generation I'm sorry make me fucking sick go ahead yeah it makes me wonder why we're making anything well no it makes me wonder why we're making anything and we're not no we haven't and we have it and we haven't

and we haven't maybe you were right I didn't mean you maybe someone in this room was right to not literally do anything at all. I don't know. I know that Courtney, like, I don't think Courtney Cox is right for the part. But for San Monica.

But we should cast her. But I do think it would be interesting. Yeah. It would definitely, like, nobody's going to suspect that she's Santa. She's completely wrong. Yeah. But we should do it. We got to put her in the show then.

Yeah, right. Because then it kind of maybe becomes like a backdoor pilot for friends. The Friends part too. Right. Or when we just do the old one again? Are you allowed to do that? Say this is a backdoor pilot and then the old one was your idea and then when they put it on TV, it was your idea now? Are you allowed to do that?

I don't think you're not allowed to do it. So we found it? We got to do that. If you're allowed to do that at all, we got to do that. Could we say we found, we did it before and we just found it right now? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like. And that would explain why we hadn't done anything in so long.

It's because we did this before saying we did it before. Yeah. And we use like an old camera. Yeah. The old camera covers the tracks. Do you have an old camera? How old is your camera? at least 30 years old

that feels like perfect and Kevin goes Ew too old stop it I don't know that show just did so well

and people are so watching it and I just They are And I feel like it's an easier Like I know that Trimpley would feel more comfortable with something that was

guaranteed to be a sex test Well we do have to collaborate with our partners He's Uncle Sam The 250th has just happened. Not as many people showed up as he thought to that big. To the bash. To the bash.

Now he's sitting on literally. Enough shrimp to fill Fort Knox. Yes. And he's calling SeaWorld. He's calling up SeaWorld. saying, Can you take any of these shrimp up my hands? I know you got some big ass fish over there.

They're not taking this call. And so a shrimply, I mean, this is like where they send out sales rep, you know? This is not like, you know, they have a whole client management process for whales like this. I'm talking about SeaWorld. No, really. Think about that. Sea World, whales. This is the Gunkle Sam account.

This is Blackfish Gunkle Sam, right? Damn, orca. This is where, you know, you got to take Shremply out of beta real quick. Also a kind of fish. They have it at the store. A beta fish. Another name for a fish. Don't play coy, fish.

Can we stop? carping on this and just like get to the other part of what you were saying. Okay. The guy young Santa works for Shrimply. He's the sales rep. Oh my gosh. Oh, yes. And it's like we're sending you to handle our most important account. He's a young guy.

He's just out of... It's it's an unicatorial. He's off campus. It's Anna Kendrick grew up in the air. Yeah. And been training under this veteran. And it's like you're finally, you know, you're going to be given the reins. To be the veteran.

So nice if we can get the suit man for that. Campbell Scott's the veteran at the Shrimp League Company. Who's, you know, now tasked with training up this young pup, Santa Cruz. Producer hat. Maybe it's William Mappithor. Sandibon. Santa Monica. Santa Monica.

Yeah, we did, I think. And it's Courtney Cox. And it's Courtney Cox. Even though she's wrong for it. Completely. Back to our friends. I was thinking about something else during some of the Santa Monica discussion, and I didn't really hear a lot of that. Which, by the way, is part of our process, too.

That can be so nice to make sure everyone's on the same page by just someone ignores some of it. And then we all have a nice chance to recap when they're talking about an old version of it several minutes later. Okay. She could say Santa Monica, I am the one who locks? Uh-huh. Like fish? Yeah, I'm the one who locks. Did they sell other, other, they just.

Does shrimply have locks? Yeah, that's salmon. Yeah, that's not going to be. Yeah. But there's always, there's never going to be any leftover locks from these events. Like that stuff goes. Yeah. People are thrown in their purse if it's not finished, you know.

They're not leaving. And it keeps. Like, we don't need to do anything with that. The shrimp, you got to, like, you got to get that out of the door. No. It's not, it's not going to have the same shelf life. It's built in. There's a fantastic ticking clock forcing the audience to feel the stakes.

I mean, this is die hard. And. And. Or is, I mean, like, I went straight to. I'm trying to get our characters together as quickly as possible. Yes, of course. Like, that's what people are going to be waiting for. I think people will forgive a little bit of extra shoe leather at the top of the film.

Right. We actually force these great characters into situations where they can bounce off each other and create these wonderful dynamics that feels kind of like hanging out with your actual friends. Right. It's that time in your life when your friends are your family and one of your friends is Uncle Sam and one of your friends is young Santa Monica. Young Santa Monica shows up, meets Uncle Sam. She's got to land the plan on this account for Shrimply.

But pretty soon she realizes that what she is actually, she's not just connecting Gunkel Sam with someone to buy his shrimp. She is playing sort of a serial de Bergerac type character where she is trying to find Uncle Sam a man. Just cubic. Would it be the soup man? Yes.

Yes. We're using every part of the buffalo. Isn't that beautiful? It's beautiful. Yes. Bravo. quickly it was staring us right in the face the soup man

and uncle Sam and the soup man's jaded yes he's seen everything under the sun handling these big shrimp accounts and I think at first he and Google Sam they're butt and heads right oh yeah but then later

their butt and heads together so they can make out their butt and heads yeah their butt and heads cream of mushroom I mean that's just what who do you see as that's the kind of soup

who do you see as uncle Sam I mean it would have to be someone pretty old I think it would be helpful we're saying that they're 251 at this point or 250 but I do want to invite an audience

that can stay with us through the sequels and stuff so I don't want to go too crazy Campbell is got to be in his mid 70s at this point minimum, right? Here's an interesting question.

Should they be American? Or should they be British? As they were here for sort of the conception of this country. And so should there be a little hint of that? A little bit of, you know, a little bit of a little bit of a

a whisper of some of that old world European culture. Do you have someone? I know whenever you have an idea like this, it's because you have. When I ask a question, there's usually an answer that I'm considering. Who do you have? What are you up to?

Simon Cowell. Yes, perfect. I mean, is it Simon Cowell? Mm-hmm. His face... Love Simon. Love Simon. Love and Simon.

Love... His face does not betray his age. Ed, Young Santa, and Love Simon. So the fact that we can cast someone who is on the older side, probably a similar age to the soup, man. We could cast... But that they read young. Read very young. Yeah.

We could do, honestly, an aged up, call me by. your name type thing with like the gap between what Simon Cowell is presenting looks like yes and Campbell Scott and Simon is Timothy and Campbell is and Campbell is ideally not Army Hammer like but yeah wait Simon is gunkle the suit man is the hell is like showing Santa the rope he's the old he's like a you know, headed for retirement from the,

from the Shimbly Company. He's the old hand. It's his last week at the company. Yep, all he's got to do is pass off this one major account to the young whiz kid.

Mm-hmm. Courtney Cox. Courtney Cox. And then she ultimately sets him up with Uncle Sam and then he is showing Uncle Sam the ropes. Which ropes?

Please don't ask me that. We'll figure that out. I feel like we can figure that out on the day. Mm-hmm. Bye. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysler, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song.

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