Hollywood Handbook - Desi Lydic, Our Daily Show Friend

Episode Date: May 20, 2019

DESI LYDIC helps The Boys make their new TV show.This episode is sponsored by Quip ( www.getquip.com/THEBOYS ) and National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So, I'm in there with Saigon, the rapper from Entourage that Turtle signed. Do you remember Entourage when Sa signed? Do you remember? Do you remember? It's sad. Entourage went to Saigon. Not specifically. So, okay. So, Vinny's Maserati gets stolen from the valet line. And when they recover it from the impound lot,

there is a CD playing in the car that has been left there by the thieves. They, of course, think, oh, wow, now we're going to catch the thieves because they've left this CD. This will be evidence, but let's just listen to it first. And it, Desi, bumps. And the song bumps and the song slaps. Oh, it bumps and slaps? Because usually you either get bumping or slapping. Okay.

To have both. Well, it seems to have both. The beat is fire. The lyrics are undeniable. You have a very clear recollection of this particular episode of Entourage. Well, so they pop it out and it turns out all of Saigon's information is on there. It's like a four- track sort of sample disc. So they wind up going to his mom's house. She says, hey, he's not here.

Then this is just Drama and Turtle doing this. Then they go to the card detailing place that he works at. And let me back up. Oh, please. Queens Boulevard has premiered at Sundance. The cut is four hours long. And Billy Walsh- It feels like this episode of Entourage is also four hours long. Well, not when you watch it. Oh, good. Okay. Just what I'm hearing about.

It cooks. The way I'm explaining it It cooks the way I'm explaining it. Maybe is taking a little longer than it should because I forgot I had to back up. And of course it's not all one episode. Sundance is it's entirely own episode versus later when turtle has the idea that this song should be over the closing credits of Queens Boulevard, which Billy Walsh, notorious control freak,

but he agrees they've got $10,000 left in the music budget. And once he hears it, he can picture it. So they say to Saigon, hey, look, we can get you $10,000 to get this song placed. He goes, okay, I'll let you be my manager. Now Turtle is Saigon's manager. Wow. Big plot point. Whoa. Okay. And from all a stolen car that the CD was in the glove compartment, which they thought they were stealing someone else's car, a music guy who has the same Maserati. Anyway, all this is to say, that's who Saigon is.

They then don't deal with him for three or four more episodes. He and I were with Timothy Galway, and we were playing tennis, practicing the inner game of tennis. Okay. Now you seem upset that the story is even still going. No, I'm just, I'm just, I'm not so much upset, but just very surprised because there's so much of this story to tell. But if you recall, I started, I said it was me and Saigon and then you kind of made a face like, who? And so, of course,

I have to give you context. I'm going to, that's part of storytelling. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to just turn my face in this, in the opposite direction. So that I can't see.

So that you can't see what is and isn't making sense so you're just not tempted to go into. Because when I brought up Timothy Galway, you know him, the author of

The Ender Game of Tennis. of course. Who doesn't? Yeah. Well, because he had started out successful young club player uh you know reached a very high ranking as a youth and then engaged in collegiate play ultimately he was what's that what happened enrolled in the military

at the end of the at the end of which we could just fast forward to the last part of his career well he ends up hanging out with me in saigon oh cool and we're just running drills and um i don't remember what happened after that that's too bad i just don't but it'll come to me and we'll revisit it. Great. That would be great. So you are every day doing a show. Talk about that.

We are called The Daily Show. The Daily Show. But we don't actually do a show every day. We do a show Monday through Thursday. And you do two on Thursday? And one airs on Friday? No, no. Nothing airs on Friday.

We're just Monday through. Well, something airs on Friday? No, no, nothing airs on Friday. We're just Monday through. Well, something airs on Friday. Right, but not our show. Yeah, well. Yeah, our show doesn't. You said nothing. Yes. Well, okay.

Something does definitely air. It's just not our show that airs. To air is human. Isn't it? To forgive is divine. That's what they say. You think about about that next time you don't like my story.

So, your name is Desi Lydic. Yes. We have a guest! Engineer Jordan, talk a little bit about us having a nice guest. She's very nice. And...

That's all I have right now. Okay. And you're maybe making her uncomfortable now. I'm sorry. So. I just now got uncomfortable. Yep. Just now.

And prior, you had been enjoying yourself. Mm-hmm. I'll just leave. Well, don't, because we need the levels just so. Mm-hmm. I'm afraid Desi's going to spike. I think she's going to peak. I do like to pop my P's. But don't I know it.

And Jordan can help with that. She has a BA in vocal performance. Ask her about it. Tell me about your BA in vocal performance. I have a BA in vocal performance. I studied opera in college. I was in a punk band, all that jazz. You say that like that's like as one does.

That is just the standard class. That's super impressive. Thank you. How did you end up working here? That's a great question. No, no, no. I continued my education.

I got my certification in audio engineering. Amazing. Because I wanted to record my own album. And then I got here. I have no idea how. Amen. It's impressive. Everybody, you got to pay the bills album. And then I got here. I have no idea how. Amen. It's impressive. Everybody, you got to pay the bills.

You got to pay the bills. So we have seen, Hayes and I, Hayes is not here, but he will be soon in a manner of speaking. We have seen your show. And we thought, I could do that. Right, right. Hey, I could do that. You know? Because it's essentially pictures, jokes, and people going off somewhere and doing something.

Yeah. So, and guests,. Yeah. Yeah. So, and. A few other elements. And guests, right? And guests. Which, so I've got a guest, check. Great. The pictures, I can create them in the listener's mind.

That's the beauty of the audio format. Uh-huh. So we're actually saving money. Yeah. It requires a little more imagination on the part of the listener, but sure. Isn't that beautiful though, to foster that in our young people? We have a very young audience. How young?

Babies. Babies listen to this podcast? The average age of our listeners is six to ten months. So your son's not listening? My son is not allowed to listen yet. How old is your son? He's nine weeks.

He's almost nine and a half weeks. Remember that movie? Too early to show him that. Where do you think I learned to pop my pee? Okay. All right. You're trouble. It's a great movie.

They're all good, aren't they? Movies are just great. It's so fun to watch them. You like movies too? I'm loving movies. Come on. I love movies too. Addicted to the stuff. And this is coming from someone on TV. Even she loves movies.

Even I love movies. So we're creating the imagination in these babies that listen to the show. Right, right. Which if you want to at any point, jingle your keys or do anything else that a baby might like, the listeners do appreciate that. Applause break, if they could applaud. Yeah, they will. Yeah, they'll make their parents pause it. So we are thinking, why don't we do the daily show?

And we'll just do it once a week because that's what we have time for. Right. And let me just start off. I'll just kick us in. Hey, welcome to the Tuesday show. I'm Sean. The Tuesday show. I'm Sean I'm here with my guest Desi Well the president had lunch this week

What's on the menu? His freaking foot That's what he ordered Yeah I'll put that in my mouth Yeah from his shoe So we've kind of done the initial part of the show ordered. Yeah, I'll put that in my mouth. Yeah, from his shoe. So we've kind of done the initial part of the show. Now it's time for

You put a lot of thought into this. Look, nothing happens by accident on this show. Whether it be the entire backstory of Saigon, leaving a CD in the Maserati for Turtle and Drama to go hunting all around Crenshaw, etc. to find this man. Right.

Or whether it be Timothy Galway enrolling in the military, realizing how broken our education system is after he gets to Exeter and starts to see that even the brightest students sometimes struggle with self-doubt because the methods of motivation are so flawed in our society. All these things are intentional. Right. Hayes is somewhere else on the phone, and he is going to be doing something I think you do, is going off and doing something I think you do is going off and doing field piece.

Field pieces. Desi! Where's Lucy? How about we welcome Desi home for once instead of her just always telling Lucy that she's home. I like this.

Oh, Desi, hello. Welcome home. Well, thank you. Thank you. Welcome home, Desi. Desi, you just quickly, before we get into this, I'm so sorry. Can you just catch me up on what has happened in the episode so far? Well, a lot of storytelling.

Okay. A lot of- That's our profession, isn't it? We're storytellers but not so much a story with a start and a finish and a middle part told largely in flashback

told largely in flashback a lot of flashback non-traditional time structure a little bit like what Pulp Fiction was playing kind of like tangents a tangent. Just one tangent after the next. Like, yeah.

Non-traditional. Is that it? Non-linear. That's all? You could call it that. It's like gummo. Sort of an art piece, you know? You didn't miss a lot.

It's like a mood. It's a vibe. My stories are big moods, aren't they, Desi? Really, it's quite the mood. Many moods sometimes. Confusion. Designers. Frustration.

You have $400. Let's go to mood. What if you came out, what if you published a kid's book, Desi, do not do this. This is just for me and Sean. What if you published a kid's book called Goodnight Mood? Would that be... that would do well. You have to admit.

There's some fun wordplay to that. What would the story – how would the story be different from Goodnight Moon? Probably be nonlinear structure. It would probably be dipping around a little bit. I guess it would be rather than telling the mood good night the way you did the moon you'd be telling the kid here's some stuff to do to put yourself in that good night mood and it's yeah so like yes instead of good night bowl of mush you would probably say good night bowl of kush.

I mean, we're making money. Listen, we are making money. We're printing money right now. Desi, please don't blow by that. No, it's great. I think this is a great idea. I think it would do very well in Urban Outfitters. Is that still sore?

I think so. Thank goodness. Where where else am i gonna get a unique we told a story and i actually did some daily show i did the yes the beginning yes okay i thought can i do my can i do mine i thought we would both get it i thought i would at least get a chance to do the beginning is yours also called the tuesday show well the president had lunch today he must have been what's on the menu freaking hamburgers Now, is this, I just have a quick question. Is this how the show would open up every week? Talking about what the president had for lunch that day? We don't have time to do it every week.

So it's less topical. It's more evergreen. It's a more evergreen show. We're trying to, yeah, we're trying to hopefully have stuff that has a long shelf life Because we don't know when that stuff is coming out So it's sort of It's not really like The Daily Show at all Well Didn't you just hear what we did?

Doesn't that feel a little bit like The Daily Show? Well You did mention the president It's kind of like that It's uncomfortably close It must be the horror of recognition for you in a way I think it's kind of like that part uncomfortably close must be the horror of recognition for you in a way i think it's the uncomfortable part that feels right to me joe biden order room service today yeah hello front desk you bring my foot yeah just put it right in

my mouth yeah joe b Biden's room. I see what's happening. Okay, so it's the same. We can do any. It's the same sort of foot-in-mouth joke. A lot of these public figures, I'm sorry, Desi. I know you're friends with some of these guys. They can't seem to keep it out of there.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So essentially every week it's a foot in the mouth situation just with a different public figure. They keep teeing me up. I'm going to keep knocking it off the tee. I'll keep swinging. Yes, of course. So, Hayes, are you ready for your field piece?

Yes, I am. Hayes reporting from outside Oh good So you're doing a field piece You're doing it right now I am doing it right now I have traveled As far Basically as I can go

Hmm Is that good How far did you go? Did you ever do that? Did I ever travel as far as I could go? Basically as far as you can go. How do you get to the field piece?

Physically, how do I transport myself? How do you get there? Great question. Generally, we fly. Oh, wow or we take the train so bad for the environment yeah i mean it's not private jet life but wow you know jet blue so so you may not know this but the train and the plane are very harmful for the world. Yes.

First of all. If I could interrupt for a second, Hayes, I may be alone on this. I actually like the world. So I have been thinking lately that I actually want the world to be alive. These are feelings that many of us have. Yeah. Yeah. are feelings that many of us have.

Yeah. And the way that I like to treat it is nicely. And also, I don't know if you've heard this, people are being hit by the train. That is something we've had to do a lot of work with. We are in touch with big government agencies big wheels and we basically try to help people know the train is pretty tough most of most of our ads now does he and this is real are about trying to get people not to be hit by trades. Do we have that today, for example?

That I don't know, Jordan. Do you know? It's a group called NHTSA or something, Highway Traffic Safety Awareness or something. But anyway, they buy the ads, and then we have to explain to people not to go in front of the train

and get smashed to death. It is really admirable that you guys are talking about this. Someone needs to. The Daily Show certainly is it. I noticed as I was watching some of it that you're essentially pretending it doesn't even exist, the train issue.

You've turned a blind eye to all the train. I mean, I guess they're not paying customers, people who get hit by trains. Right. And really, it's about the bottom line for you guys. Except they are sometimes like spraying coins everywhere. That's true. Oh, my God. Yeah, sometimes they explode in a big pile of coins. coins everywhere. That's true. Yeah.

Sometimes they exploded in a big pile of coins. This would be the subject matter of your field piece? I forgot how we got here. That's how you got physically where you are. What I do is,

I famously am the Scooty Cutie. I do scoot around town. Scooty, man. Is that what people call you? The Scooty Cutie is his name, yeah. I'm the Lemurita. Who gave you guys those nicknames? The community.

Of? The guy from the, sorry, we call it the community. It's the guy from the Sorry, we call it the community It's the guy from the show community We did his show Joel McHale? No, not that guy Donald Glover?

No, he's been on our show though Does that feel good? Here you are in the same chair Effectively I feel kind of sorry for for donald feel sorry for him did he know he's doing very well he's doing great i think well yes despite him coming to this despite or because of well it. It mostly happened after this.

Yeah. Primarily it was later. So the two of you are responsible for his career really taking off. We certainly didn't hurt. Yeah. We didn't do anything to slow his trajectory. I'm feeling much better about this today. The lessons learned in this studio carried donald to wonderful

heights yeah and so i'm scooting i'm scooting around and then i run out of batteries very fast your scooter has batteries yeah most of them do pretty much all of them do okay um and because my backpack is so heavy sorry what is she picturing like scooter wise like what i was i was ready to just blow by it i just wanted to know well desi that's for you then hayes was gonna be nice i gotta know a battery-free scooter? Something that takes a little bit of effort. The push-off, it's gotta be a surprise, Tom.

Okay. I don't know. You know what? Maybe Hayes' first instinct was right. Let's not deal with it at all. We're just gonna go past it. That was my thinking. Hayes' backpack was heavy. My backpack is heavy.

It drains the battery really fast. And then, so I get on the bus. And then I basically get off when they tell me to. That's when it's over. When the bus is over. When the bus is done, you just have to go. You can't live on the bus is over when the bus is done you just have to go you can't live on the bus and that's basically as far away as there is

to go how much further is he going to go his backpack is heavy as hell so you get on a scooter and go to the bus station and get on a bus and then you just stay on the bus until someone kicks you off

until it's over until the bus is over yeah okay where the bus will is still gonna it's not no one's killing the bus right oh no it's gonna to go tomorrow. Sometimes you might want to. Yeah. It can be frustrating. It can be very loud. The bus? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You don't know about a loud bus? I guess I'm on a plane. They don't have any loud buses, huh, Hayes? I wouldn't know because I actually am friends with the Earth. Yeah, did you listen to the little Diggy song where he's like, the Earth? Remember that video?

Everyone is in it! No. Ari. Oh, wow. Justin. He admitted it. Leo. Justin. He admitted it. Leo. Wow. What does The Daily Show talk about?

I mean, I clearly not enough. It seems like you didn't know what the president had for lunch. You didn't know that people are getting hit by trains. I did not. You haven't seen the Earth song. These are not things that we are talking about, which makes me very happy that the two of you are talking about it. This is good.

You're really finding a space that hasn't been filled yet many hands make light work so you guys cover whatever you're doing and then we'll cover all the real ish chop wood carry water chop wood carry water desi so wait where where are you though you're as far as you can go where's that i'm as far basically as far away as i can go and what i can tell you what i'm seeing is moss so how would you handle that like is there a funny thing to do talking to the most of this moss is being a little bit hypocritical and I'm hoping to expose that with my field piece. How do you get these guys? How do you stick them? Can you tell me specifically what the moss is doing?

The moss is, some of it has been eaten by me. Are you shining a light on a particular issue? Tasty moss. Yeah, I mean, it seems like a good opportunity to love the earth, like Lil Dicky said.

So this is a piece about the environment. It sure could be. be yeah sounds like you guys are doing a lot of that so it would be good to fill the void in that respect but I just wanted like one that you did that maybe we can do a version

of yeah what's your best one you want me to tell you my best field piece that I did so you guys can do the exact same thing and it's not the exact same first of all what's your best one you want me to tell you my best field piece that i did so you guys can do the exact same thing and it's not even the exact same first of all it's hayes secondly he told you he's already he took the bus to get there so that's different right it's feeling pretty different you know what what we like to do a lot of man on the street pieces. We like to go to Trump rallies or places. Jaywalking. Yeah, no, that's a totally different show.

Doesn't sound like it. Also man on the street, but a little different. A little different. So we like to talk to people. I think maybe you're you're first i gotta say because i appreciate you trying to help but obviously we've talked about traffic safety a lot on this show just the phrasing of man on the street feels dangerous to me. It feels like there's some messaging that could use a little massaging.

Oh, okay. Is this like a gender equality thing? Like women on the street might be a... I guess that too, but I just don't know if they should be on the street. Wouldn't we prefer they be on the sidewalk or at least in the crosswalk? If they're on the street, that't we prefer they be on the sidewalk or at least in the crosswalk? If they're on the street, that's very dangerous.

And while it's better than being on the train tracks, as far as I'm concerned, it's still not necessarily safe. Well, it's... Man on the street. Your man on the street piece will pretty soon become a man all over the street piece. There'll be man on the hood of a car and then under the tires of this other car. It's really more of just the term that we use. It's not quite so literal.

We often are on a sidewalk or in a safe area. And can terms be harmful that we use? Those language matter, the way we speak. in a safe area. And can terms be harmful that we use? Can using those terms hurt people? The way we speak? I suppose it does. Is there such thing as a bad word to use? What?

What? Wow. Does it sound like Tessie Sagan? There are many bad words to use okay I can think of four I don't feel that man on the street really falls into that category

no are you going to have to bleep it those are the four words that's it yeah those are four of the seven words that Carlin said. Okay, so we're not open to the idea of doing man on the street. One of them was butthole. Yeah.

I disagree with you there. I think butthole is an underused phrase. Phrase? Word? We're calling it a word and we're saying that it's one of the seven dirty words. There was man on the street, butthole, and then two more that we probably shouldn't say. Yeah, let's not do that.

Yeah. Well, one of them was pee-pee. And so, and we're not going to say the last one. Your very young listeners are going to love this. It's true it's really aimed squarely at their interests okay so man on the street

is out of the question we can do it we should call it something else sidewalk interview friend is that so hard that certainly has a ring to it but I would say that they're not all our friends because if we're just talking you're their friend no you're not being friendly well

i'm not being unfriendly hey how do you want to do this do you want to be nasty and mean i mean if that's the only option I would prefer to be someone's friend Okay yeah So you would want to do Man on sidewalk Friend Man beside the street friend Man beside the street friend

And speak to your friends only Are any of your buddies around Hayes It would be a lot easier to chop it up do you have some quite like some hard-hitting questions on hand that you'd want to dude if it's me talking to my friends you're gonna get a ton of good footage because when we're just busting off like me and my boys like we say some of the funniest wildest shit really it? It's like so wrong, so out there, but like my friends are like the funniest and I'm probably at my best with them. Like when me and Hayes are freaking busting beans,

just chopping it up, like that's some of the funniest shit, dude, that should be on TV. And so if the alternative is me going up to like a guy I've never even seen before in my life and being like, what's up? Do you like Trump or something? I don't see that being funnier than me chopping it up, busting beans. What kinds of chopping

it up and busting beans do you guys like to do? What's the funniest thing that's happened with you guys just sitting around busting beans? Listen to the show. Listen to the show. Listen to the rest of the episodes. You sit around.

That's basically what you've done for 200 of these things. When you hang out. Chopping it up, busting beans on mic. Yeah, there's a reason that we're one of the premier struggling podcasts. That didn't happen by accident. But you want him to beat up a guy who likes Trump or something? You asked if I brought

some hard-hitting questions. Unfortunately, my backpack is full of Extra fits Extra what? Fits He's slaying Luke's don't mind his drip Please don't mind his drip

You guys I don't know what that means Please don't mind my drip What? The drip is real Do not mind his drip When he is in his fits outfits hell yeah i'm not as young as your audience member so i don't know this slang okay yeah fit yeah fit is like an outfit so hayes has a lot of dope fits and when when he puts it on, he will say, don't mind my drip.

Please, I'm begging you. Don't buy my drip. In a nice way, he is asking you to not mind his drip. Got it. I will not mind it. I will not mind his drip. So yes, no, there was not room for any questions in there okay um do you you do you have any hard-hitting questions uh well i i at this point i don't know what the

piece is about uh-huh um i think if I knew specifically if there was a particular issue we were trying to dive into or a really specific comedic take on it. I would love to do to sort of explore the issue of getting home. Yeah. Especially

based on the bus isn't running anymore, right? The bus is over, yes. It's over. Okay, so the bus isn't running anymore, right? Okay. The bus is over, yes. It's over. Okay, so the bus is over. This could be a really fun adventure piece, but it doesn't feel to me at all like a daily show piece. So maybe what you guys are wanting to do is

Tuesday show. The Tuesday show, which has really nothing to do with politics or satire. I'm sorry. Nothing to do with politics or satire. I'm sorry. Nothing to do with politics. Meanwhile, we took down Trump, Biden, Trump again. The environment for me is a very political issue.

Politicians are making a lot of the decisions about that stuff. Great. Whether we eat moss, how much planes we go on. How much planes we go on. Yeah. Which for you is a lot, I'm just saying. Are you trying to preserve? Okay, here, I'm going to work with your moss. I'm going to work with your moss idea.

You're trying to preserve the moss, right? I had to wait for that. Well, no. Hayes ate most of it. While we were talking, he may have noticed I was just quiet for a second. I didn't most of it. While we were talking, you may have noticed I was just quiet for a second. I did kind of finish it off.

If your goal is to preserve the environment... And I ate one of my fits. Are you a goat? How hungry are you? Hell yeah, Hayes is the goat. Not very hungry now. He's the goat field piece reporter.

Don't forget it. I feel like, Hayes, I feel like you would be the contrarian in this interview. Like, you're not just conducting, you're not just a correspondent, you're also the contrarian. He's the comedic engine. You're really

playing multiple roles in this, which is impressive. Can you do different character voices? I have to do the camera as well. Right. That's challenging. And he's holding a phone. What's a question that you asked somebody one time?

Yeah, name a question. Name a question. If asked somebody one time. Yeah, name a question. Name a question. If you even remember. Name a question? Yeah, if you even remember. If you asked somebody one time. I can think of one. Who's Saigon? And I remember I gave a pretty good answer and you were

still pissed. So maybe think of one that ended a little better. Okay. I did a piece, a special on gender equality. And I went to Iceland and I spoke to this woman, Hala Thomas' daughter. And I was at... What?

You good? Yeah. Okay. Hala Thomas' daughter. Yeah. what you good yeah okay and I Holla Thomas daughter yeah Holla Thomas daughter because in Iceland

their last name is their dad's name daughter and then it says daughter yeah or son yeah because I went to school with

A.B. Oscar's daughter is that a real person you went to school with? Yeah. So go ahead. Okay. Now I'm up to speed. Great. So I asked Hala Thomas' daughter if the policies that they were using in Iceland could work in America.

What? Yeah. And Hala said something insane, I guess. She said, well, is what you're working. Wait, I got this. Hold on. Okay. Whoa.

Hold on. Hayes, I wish you could see Desi right now. Finally. What's happening? Her steely facade has crumbled your mask is slipping hold on I got this she said

is what you're doing right now working boom mic drop right boom and this is on every day? That's what I thought as well, Hayes.

But to hear Desi explain it, it's on four days a week, and then the TV just leaves your house. You can't have it anymore on Friday. That's what she said. What? There's a question for you.

So wait, you asked me if we, you asked us if we had hard hitting questions. Kind of judgy about the fact that we in fact did not. Then we were like, well, what's a question you asked? And then the story is that somebody asked you a better question. You're kind of right. Yeah. you're kind of right about that how my friend hayes got home i love that you don't want to know i don't want to know what you don't want to know you don't want you don't want to know context you don't want to know what the piece is about you just want a question you just want a question in any peeled piece i gave you one yeah okay so yeah but you gave me the context too right

which is that you flew to iceland killed the earth to ask somebody a question you could have got him over the phone like I'm doing with Hayes. Probably could have. So, I don't know. Hayes, where are you? That's what I want to know. Do you see any scooters around, Hayes? Okay, let me turn around.

Okay. I thought there was a waterfall, but I think that's... Is that maybe on your head? Yeah. Okay, please don't confuse... This is bad enough as it is. Oh, my God. Okay. What do you see?

I'm turning around. All right. Okay, I didn't realize this. There's a lot of God. Okay. What do you see? I'm turning around. All right. Okay. I didn't realize this. There's a lot of cars. Okay. Going in a circle. Desi, what's that sound like to you?

It sounds to me like you are a man on the street right now. Are they normal sized cars? Are are a man on the street right now. Are they normal-sized cars? Are you a man on the street? These aren't slot cars, are they, Hayes? Are they normal-sized cars? It depends. It's hard for me to judge my distance from them. Okay.

Because if you're in a hobby shop, they might be slot cars. Okay. It is possible that I'm in a hobby shop. I think I may have eaten all the moss from a model train. A very realistic, well-executed model train environment. That would explain the cars going into circle exclusively. Yeah. This makes sense.

Did you take the bus that goes to the hobby shop? Yes, I took the bus. It's really a shuttle. It says on the little LED screen as the bus is approaching, it says hobby shop. Yeah. Okay.

Well, Desi? What's a way, Desi, what's a good way to expose a hypocritical at a hobby shop? Expose a hypocritical at a hobby shop? Yeah, isn't that the whole thing?

Yeah, just dismantle their logic. Absolutely destroy them. Is there a reason you want to dismantle it? Because that's the show. Yeah. Attention. I mean, if you can't come up with something, Desi, I have the beginning of a prompt, and maybe you can take it from there. Great.

Let's start with that. Well, if this guy's working at a hobby shop, it's like he's saying it's a hobby, but it's actually his job. What a hypocrite right not really not really i i feel like that's um hayes okay sounds pretty hypocritical to me i wonder who i say that to does he but i think i think i think there's a misunderstanding in that we are just willy-nilly ripping into people. But it doesn't feel like the hobby shop or the guy at the hobby shop is really deserving. There is no guy here right now. There's a very small conductor.

Okay. Like a figurine? Who I could go to town on. Take it away, Des. Get his ass. Have either of you watched The Daily Show? Oh, God, yes. Yeah, yes.

Yeah, yeah. Moment is done. Five questions? Five questions? The guy's head explode? No, that's... Yeah, come on. Have you watched it? What are your...

Was there a favorite era of The Daily Show? Wilt Fong. I don't... Bob Wilt Fong. I don't. Bob Wilt Fogg. A. Whitney Brown. I feel like you're just naming names.

Beth Littleford. Are you looking at the IMDB page right now? Me? Mo Rocca. Mo Rocca's a little late. that's a little late period for me yeah i guess that was kind of after it fell off that was the beginning of the end for me okay okay um so hayes do you feel like you got what you need for the field piece So, Hayes, do you feel like you got what you need for the field piece?

I mean, I got, you know, like, I'm out of tape. Yeah, a ton of footage, yeah. But I do think it'll cut together. Yeah, we're going to be able to. Did you get both sides of the interview or just one? I was kind of circling. Hayes has, because so many of our listeners are babies, Hayes has this children's mobile that he can put the camera on.

The camera. And it kind of spins around the conversation the entire time. That opening shot in that 70s show. Which one? F-True. The opening credits. Oh, which one? F Troop. The opening credits of that 70s show where they spin around in a circle. Which 70s show?

Oh my god. The A Troop. The 70s show. Gunsmoke. There's a lot of 70s shows. No, I'm talking... All in the Family? No, Ashton Kutcher,

Wilmer Valderrama, that 70s show. Oh. The one that's called That 70s Show. Okay, The Ranch. No. It's a totally different show. I guess the dad on The ranch is in his 70s so problematic show it's not without its issues well you can't make a show these days i mean isn't that what you're finding not really really. That's been my experience out of here.

Yeah. You just can't even freaking do it. You could. What are you here for? Do you have anything to promote? Like, what is this? Yeah, what are we doing? Yeah, you have anything to promote like what is this yeah what are we doing yeah you you have neglected to ask me about anything i'm working on we asked you for questions like 20 times yeah

yeah so maybe the question should have been oh you could ask somebody what you know what they're promoting are you that seems like something you do on a show are you asking me are you asking that seems like something you do on a show are you asking me jesus what's this game i do not play games and that's one thing you have to know we are so real we are sick of the games and we keep it straight up real we are straight up with you. We do not play games. Got it. So if you want the games, go somewhere else, you know, go to Comedy Bang Bang or one of the shows people listen to. I don't need the games. Here we're straight up. Right.

Okay. If you don't need the games, then just stop playing games and just tell me what you want to promote. Well, I just shot a special. Hey, what's so special about it? It's called Desiladic Abroad and it's for Comedy Central. So is it two words? Great question.

It is one word. Okay. I think that's better. I knew it was one word. I did too. No, it was for Jordan. What? I was clarifying for Jordan's sake.

Is that why you've been doing this whole show yes this is an educational show aimed at one person wow wow okay alright well thank you for clarifying

it's on every day it's on all the time it's not no it's not on all the time it's a special so it's only that's what's special about it. Only see it once.

You only see it once. It's like a shooting star. It's like a snapshot. It's like a snapshot. You can see it multiple times. It's on the Comedy Central app. You could. If you wanted to watch it.

Can I ask this? Please. Is it on my SnopShot? Can I watch it with the SnopShot filters on? And make me look like an alien or something? No. No. I'm seeing my alien

face watch it. And I'm making everyone girls or boys? No, that's not... I don't believe it's available that way. Could be funny, yeah. That would be special. I could talk to Comedy Central about it. On the Comedy Central app. Isn't that app?

It's really good? It's kind of like watching the network, but on an app. Yeah. And with more surprises in terms of when the commercial shows up. Right. Is it going to load? What's going to happen? Is it going to send me back to the beginning of something?

You know. Yeah. There's more mystery, I think think involved in the app it's a little more daring to watch it there it's yeah is there platform games on there platform games platform games yeah can i like pin the hat on cartman or something no okay okay no um doesn't take very long to just do one of those so Desi a little bit of homework

for you because this has been so great could you get some platform games onto the Comedy Central app whoever you want to talk to over there. Yeah.

Kent, Rachel, Ian, whoever you want to call up. And whether it's Jonas, anyone you want to talk to over there. I feel like you're just name dropping right now. Whoever is in charge of platform games, that's who you're going to need to speak with. Michelle Gayless probably still has a pole

over there. Hello? Hello? Desi looks sick. I'm so happy I live in New York right now. Working too hard. This is a typical LA experience, you think?

This is everything. This is the difference between LA and New York. This is. This really makes me feel like I live in LA again. Sorry, I didn't realize we were supposed to only use New York specific. So talk to Brittany. Oh good, you know the people in the New York specific. So talk to Brittany. Oh good, how good you know the people in the New York office as well.

Hey man, what are we doing, right? We have to go. Hayes has to go. I have to go. This has been really fun, you guys. Thanks for all the hard hitting. It was so fun for us. Is there anything else you want us to do?

I think at this point, let's just let it go. Do you have any homework for us is there anything else you want us to do or i think at this point let's just let it go you have any homework for us i mean that's reciprocal uh i think you have your hands full right now i agree yeah i was gonna say no i can't whatever you told me to do yeah just time wise i don't have time yeah well i appreciate all of the um very well prepared hard-hitting question okay that was a hate gum podcast