Hollywood Handbook - Doug Benson, Our Movies Friend

Episode Date: May 6, 2019

Doug Benson joins The Boys to play a famous movies game.This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon ( www.mackweldon.com/THEBOYS ), hims ( www.forhims.com/THEBOYS ), and Away ( www.awaytravel.com/THEBOYS20  code: THEBOYS20).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast i am at uh where was it which i'm at um right aid uh for lunch with missing uh link and we are enjoying a box of tissues beef bone ah i picture they don't have beef bone they don't have beef bone though so that was the first thing that when we go to right aid missing link sits down says do you have beef bone beef bone they say yes it doesn't ask you that's right and that's what they have it says one beef bone, please. Just one today. Yeah. And they say, sorry, we do not have beef bone. Perfect. And he says, that's okay. Just a box of tissues.

Okay. So we are splitting a box of tissues because it is, it's sneeze season. Sneezing. And I think he has gotten in his head. I think he's doing it to be cool because he sees other people. Having them using them. Yeah, like pulling out tissues. And so he was doing it for me in a way that's like.

Well, what he sees is the thing after him using them, the next human. Yeah. And behind him, the link that's not missing that we know about yeah the old one yeah not using it and he goes i should be more like this next thing so this makes me wonder doug do you know do you know missing link are you aware of the missing link the missing link doug he loves movies you love movies and so he loves movies yeah i do sean hayes loves movies this is this movie do. Sean Hayes loves movies. There's this movie, Missing Link. Maybe you saw the freaking poster.

Oh, the thing where Zach is the voice of the lead character. Don't know Zach. I do know Missing Link. Me personally? Don't know Zach, but Missing Link I know. And maybe there's a missing link between us to connect these two ideas. Oh, I see. So you do know this guy. Zach does the voice.

I'm interested in that. Did they let him sort of play around a little bit? I don't know. I mean, it's one of those things where Zach is the last place I'm going to learn about what movie Zach is in. Okay. He just lets it happen. That's so crazy because I don't know him well. I'm sorry to tell you this, but he has like an email list that I'm on.

Where he just is always talking about his projects. Just to let friends know what I'm up to. I'm in this hilarious movie. Catch me in theaters this weekend. Yeah. Make sure to get a front row seat. I don't know why. That doesn't sound like the Zach I know, but I guess maybe I just don't. Maybe they're going in my spam or something.

I pray that's what it is. Let fingers cross. Yeah, usually his messages are very short, very odd. Sometimes he'll actually send a little video of himself saying what it is he wants to say, but in an email. Wow. Attaching him like an MOV file. Email the movie.

Yeah. Go email. He loves movies, too. Yes. And he knows you love movies. That's perfect. He's trying to appeal to you, and I think that's really sweet. Yeah.

He's been on my Doug Loves Movies show a few times, but it's hard to get him on there because he doesn't like the part where he has to compete with movie knowledge. And he doesn't live in a normal place. Because he doesn't pay attention to who's in movies. He knows what Bradley Cooper is doing. Let's talk about, this is such a good segue, this idea of movies. Right? Oh, for me, I'm like slobbering now i'm drooling because of

this segue is so good this is the hollywood handbook yeah you mentioned before the show that you are aware of the name of the show yeah are you aware that it is an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lined back hallways of this industry we call showbiz. Showbiz. Is all that last part in parentheses? Like after Birdman? What was in parentheses after Birdman? Take that, critics. The unexpected virtue of ignorance.

Ignorant. Yes. Birdman. Take that, critics. That would be a very smart way to do it. To put it in parentheses. It's very close to Birdman. Take that, critics. That would be a very smart way to do it. To put it in parentheses. It's very close to Birdman. I mean, you've identified a lot of similarities

because we also believe that this new generation only cares about going viral. Right. It's true. Aren't you sick of that, Doug? I am, but I also am very guilty of, uh, you know, having, being lucky in that I was early on. The first one to go viral. You went viral.

I went viral, you know, early. So how mad could you be? Tell me, walk me through it. I was even pre-viral because mine was just, people would pass it or pass copies around and stuff. And, uh, and Blockbuster video, they Video, every time I was in another town, I saw a Blockbuster, I'd go in and look for it, and it'd be missing from that spot on the wall

because you know how they just have them sitting there on the wall? You just take it to the front and check it out. It's always gone, and every time I asked, they'd always say, yeah, the second we got that in, somebody rented it and never came back. You're talking about Faces of Death. Yes. I'm talking about Super High Me. Yes.

That was the original way to go viral was people renting your VHS tape. Yeah. And just also it was like a thing that people would share with each other. Like, you know, oh, this documentary is about this guy who gets high all the time just like we do. But it doesn't seem to be that much of a problem. People tell me all the time that that's how they break the news to their parents as they watch that movie with them. Mom, dad, sit down. I've got something you need to see.

I'm just like that guy. I'm super high i'm an idiot it's like you know it's like an almost famous where they play we're off to look for america the simon and garfunkel song she says see i want to look for america and the mom goes oh no yeah it's like that you're high so super high me is a documentary documentary is movies this is such a good segue. Perfect. You have this show, Doug Loves Movies. You loves movies.

We, this show, is also about movies and sometimes TV and books. We were raised by TV and now we watch movies. But we've been kind of dancing around each other for a long time. We thought about calling the show Sean and his loves of movies. You remember? Yeah, before we got in trouble. And so it feels like every time we're going to do something, like do a game that's about Leonard Maltin,

you do it just before us. And so wonder if like you possibly have a mole or something and like have an idea to do a show about movies just before we're gonna do it like somebody infiltrates your team possibly someone because you got a lot of people here behind the scenes who are underpaid it's a big team and it's a big team of double agents who are for sale yeah so i could uh you know perhaps for two dollars yeah that's all it would cost name your price engineer jordan how much would it cost for you to betray us fully and leak every idea we have betray you fully yeah at least full betrayal oh okay well i want both now what do you say that sounds like there's different grades of what you're willing to do. I want the price for a partial betrayal

and a full betrayal. Partial? $10,000. Wait a second. We went from $2 to $10,000? Jordan's a really good mole. She's new. In about six months, that price will drop dramatically.

Well, I'd like the $2 deal. And if it's still on the table, I'd like to get that. So $2 is the first. And then for full betrayal, can we like $15? I don't need betrayal as much as I just need somebody to keep tabs on what they're doing on this show so that I could either steal their ideas or get mad at them when they take mine. Thank you. Perfect. Thank you. That's how it feels. Yeah. That's how you get to the top, gentlemen, is you don't give anything to the

little guy. Yeah. You stomp on the throats of the Seanons and Hazes of the world. Oh, my God. Unfortunately, now we have to pay Jordan $8 for getting you to confess. That was a deal that we worked out before the show. That's not so bad. All these prices are great. Prices are so good. The deals are great around here. Yes. Is this a going out of business sale?

It seems like it, yes. I don't know if you've used the Stitcher app. No, what happens on it? I'm afraid of yes. I don't know if you've used the Stitcher app. No, what happens on it? I'm afraid of it. I don't want to look. It's not good news, right? Yeah, it's not ideal. So, first of all, it's physically... Does Joe Rogan pop out and scream

suck it? I think there's a special price where that could happen. So, the app is physically hotter than the other apps. And so even just like dragging your thumb along it will like potentially hurt you. So there's like a physical pain element involved in using the app at any given time. The search function, like... Well, it's a secret.

Yes. You search for the search function. Have you guys thought maybe the title of our show is too long? For us? Yeah. You think the Hollywood Handbook, An Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names, The Life Back Hallways of This Industry We Call Showbiz is too long?

It feels a little long. It's what ended Fiona Apple's career. You have to search it with the exact letters, and it's case sensitive and if you don't type it in that exact way there's a lot of punctuation spaces yes and now we have to add these there's like an interrobang at one point so there's even more oh no it's bad so they're liquidating it podcast by podcast the stitcher app yes this is a going out of business sale where one by one you'll be listening to a podcast and then you will kind of hear it recede.

Like the volume will go down as it's being dragged off into someone's car. It's being strapped to the roof of someone's car. As long as we're on the subject, I should say that you can get all of the behind the paywall episodes of Doug Love movies. If you are against Stitcher premium. Oh, perfect. You're in the family. Yeah, we made a deal.

I made a deal with them. I got, you know, I'm still independent after all these years. So I got, you know, deals everywhere. Got my hands in a lot of,

you know, a lot of things, which is, I'm so glad I'm not uh running for political office or something because you'll be like that guy worked with a lot of people and they all benefited you're like a political cartoon of like a billionaire octopus wow what's your um what's your most successful uh ad partnership on this show oh god don't make me pay they They're going to be so mad.

Oh, God. We love all our ads. Squarespace is listening. They're like, please, baby. No, yeah. Obviously, this is a fraught question for us. What's going on? Your wrist is ringing at me.

It's Quip. Quip is calling. Quip is calling. They want back in. Yeah. Probably Away Luggage is the most lucrative one that we've done because their suitcase is so high tech well i didn't necessarily mean lucrative but just more or less like uh the ones that come back for more because obviously the code that you give out is

working that kind of thing i would say that's also away luggage because that was a partnership that did pull the ad at some point and asked us to delete the one that we had recorded and released. And yet they were so like the connection between us was so strong that they did come back. I want to say a year later, something like that. Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. They did come back and I believe they have an ad in this episode. So it's XX. So they were, they were in fact, and I don't like to use this language necessarily,

especially on the show, but they were addicted to what the dick did. Specifically what Hayes did with it. When he read his away luggage ad, uh, he was bringing so much swag to the ad read that they went out, they saw what else was out there and they decided it was worth the trade-off, even though we're bad boys.

It's sort of like high-pass ad read lingo, but I was stroking for that one. Yeah, he was stroking. I'll tell you, they haven't knocked on my door. Oh, duh. I haven't heard from them. Don't say that. I don't think they think that stoners and trivia nerds are the right target for delicious luggage.

Well, they've got to get it. Would you call it lavish? I said that it was high tech. High tech? Wait, do they make smart bags? Because smart bags are the dumbest thing you could buy right now because you can't take them on planes. Well, Away would disagree with you. Yeah, they say.

It's called Away because you've got to get the luggage away when you get to the airport. Get it out of here. But they'll bring you whatever kind of luggage you want. I mean, well, that's part of the issue that we have. They're like a luggage superstore. I apologize if I'm losing them. This is great.

We've already done the ad. Now we don't have to do the real one. I feel like I'm going to never hear from them, too. Oh, okay. What is the advertiser that you found has been your forever boo? Other than weed, which mean is but that's the you know i hope that the people listening to my movie and uh food podcasts are like uh you know still think i bring enough to the table besides just uh you know just being high but the other show the you know getting

dug with high is just really the whole point of this. We almost did that, too. Just get messed up. We were going to do that. What went wrong? Getting Sean. What happened? One of you, I believe, is a quitter or had quit. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. And the other was just, therefore, not interested.

The thing was, we tried to do it. I hurt my thumb. You know, sometimes you try to light it and that the angle is wrong. you know sometimes you try to light it and that the angle is wrong like if you when you turn the freaking bong to light it and you're like turning the light the mat the lighter down sure to light up and the flame goes up and it kind of hurts your thumb a little bit it can sometimes yes yes and that big turn off that ended up i so we basically decided the time it would take to record a podcast and go to the hospital, every single time we do a podcast was not going to, just like the time investment. Between the lighter thumb and the hot stitcher app, which we're of course dragging over every ad read, our thumbs were getting melted to the point where I wasn't going to have any fingerprints to identify me.

And then how am I going to know which crimes I did and which crimes I did? How do you do that? How do you take the thing and turn it down in the way that the flame also goes down and doesn't go up, hurt your thumb? You have to go to the hospital. Are you upside down? It's a whole sort of angling deal. And you're upside down? Okay, so now you're saying do the friggin' bong, turn that to the side.

There's water in it. It will, and it does come out. Yeah, but you know, there's water in this glass, and look how much I can lean it around. Wow, he's holding a glass of water upside down, and the water is not coming out. Yeah, it's just, you know. I think it's just like a you thing. out yeah it's just you know i think this is just like a you thing stoner this might be a personal kind of uh magic do you know that i've been on doug loves movies i didn't indirectly oh here we go my friend dc went on did me and told the story

of me proposing to my wife inside the movie sex tape. Surely you remember. Surely that must have come up. Do you remember every story that was told you? Yes. Stacey Pearson. Came on the program. Friend of the show.

Yeah. Frequent guest. Yes. Great guy. Mm-hmm. Wrote a young adult book called Crap Kingdom. Wow. Yeah.

I got it. So you remember that, the name of the book, but you don't remember the sex tape story? He's great. He's the comic relief in Winter Soldier. And in Verizon commercials.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He comes to jump off the dog. Anyway. What about him? Well, he went on. He came on the show and told your story?

Told my story. Really? I guess everyone's telling everyone else's stories in a way. Did you find it rewarding that that story was well-received? Like people laughed? Did people blast off?

Or did it make you sad that people were laughing at it? Did you go listen to it? Oh, yeah. Went to listen and heard people losing it and I thought, oh my God, I brought a little more joy into this world.

Bam. Just a ray of sunshine for some of these poor fucks. Go ahead and slip that one into the win column. Yeah. You did it. St. Peter's writing that down. That's one in the plus side. Yeah.

You're going to talk about that at the Purleys. Oh, yeah. And that's the awards in heaven. That's not the Pearlies Oh yeah That's the awards in heaven That's not the Pearly Gates It's the awards that they give out to everybody Everybody gets an award when you get there Yeah the Pearl Nuggets So

Kevin what's going on They're timeless and elegant Yeah what's going on We've got a visitor in the room This is Chef Kevin You met him before He was right out there talking to us earlier talking yeah yeah yeah why chef why so we used to do these blue

apron ads this is another very rewarding relationship for us and you know how you just run out of ideas for anything to do on when you're doing content or we had this bit where Kevin was making Blue Apron meals and so he would become Chef Kevin oh okay do you like that? I like it I mean you could have

sprayed some Pam on it so it wouldn't stick but you know but I like it though and I like the fact that he says it like it's not something And I like the fact that he says it. Like, it's not something you call him. It's something he brings in himself.

He says it almost exclusively. Some freedom to create. Yeah, hi, guys. Chef Kevin here. He's a branding genius. And the hair does kind of look like he just took his chef hat off. That's true, yeah. The hair is doing some interesting stuff today.

I would say mostly in the back that Chef Kevin is maybe not aware of. The back struck out on its own. It's kind of a hat hair thing going on. Yeah. Or bed head. There's usually a story. Last time it was that he was up too late building a table and then didn't have time. No, then he had to take a bath the night before, then didn't take a shower the next day. And so

the hair was... Talk about your hygiene today, Kevin. What are we dealing with? What's the story today? Okay, so I took a shower last night because I was playing a new Tetris video game. And then I woke up today and went straight to work. Certainly knew you didn't shower today. That I could have won a lot of money betting on.

Have you ever thought about how you played the Tetris game? The shower would have defeated the back of your hair. Let's dig in on this. Did you play that vigorously? You were sweaty after? I had to wash off physically and mentally. I'm not good at video games. Oh, and it's so upset you, you need an emotional shower.

Yeah. But I feel like a million dollars now. Have you ever thought about, even if you don't shower, maybe just splashing a little water just on the hair area of the head when you're going to a professional situation like your job? Well, yeah, I guess I can only see the front when I'm looking in the mirror, so I just kind of assume the back is okay. Sort of a better safe than sorry approach, though, maybe,

if you know that you're not going to wash yourself at all. It kind of looks like a bike helmet. I like bikes. That's generous. It looks like a bike helmet. It's Earth Day. Is it really? Yeah.

Hmm. Well, I walked. I walked here. Hey! Hayes would love that. So I did some shit for the Earth. I love walking. You're welcome, Earth.

You do? Mm-hmm. That's how you keep it together. I totally agree Yeah Do you have any characters On your shows? Um

I have had characters Wait You're a character now? Is that what you're referring to? Like a funny chef Oh funny chef character? What do you do? What is this character?

A funny patient chef He's a character, all right. A question mark. Do you actually cook at all? I'm learning to, yeah. Oh, that's good. They catch up to your nickname. I like it.

Well, you know, once you get good at chefery, you could come on my I Got a Food podcast. Let's talk about that because I love just eating food. It's a total scam. Yeah. We just go to a restaurant. We set up some microphones, you know, and we just sit there and they bring us food and we talk about it. And, you know, we go to really nice restaurants all over LA.

So I've never disliked because cause you're bringing you their best stuff, you know, and, and you know, you just get into whatever, like also a lot of them have a fancy cocktails and I like trying lots of those. So,

but it's a complete scam because all we have to do in return is post it later that night or, you know, the next Wednesday nights at midnight. Is it called doug loves food or getting food with doug listen you guys i'm not that predictable that was just branding listen to this guy no but you're right you were also you were also right because it's called dining with doug and karen i mean my name is in there and it does say exactly what it is i don't like titles

to confuse people oh yeah that yeah. That's smart. That's SEO, baby. Yeah. That's why I have a short podcast called Doug Lowe's Minis. Just putting it out there. These are all minis. Some have been 45 minutes to an hour long, so that didn't go exactly how I planned it. And that's just you talk about Paul Tompkins' car?

It's exactly what it is. Yeah. You just get into stuff. Yeah, you just get into stuff. You know, the intensity of being a podcaster can really, you know, it just takes over. It's fully eroded my moral compass. I mean, doesn't the time fly when you're podcasting? Yeah.

Used to. I still find it to be very, very, you know, there's moments where shit slows down to a goddamn crawl. Oh, sure. Or to a dead stop. Or any kind of show, especially like when I'm involved, I find like I can be kind of a stopper because I'm also mostly hosting when I do stuff. And I want to get to the fucking thing we're trying to get to. Yeah, what are we trying to get to today?

Let's do that where we fully stop it down. Let's do some of these games. Let's do, now that we're settling our differences of both do movies podcast, let's share

our material. Were you pissed? I'm way madder we hate movies what kind of title is that that doesn't come on very very negative towards me um and then what's and also no you don't what's the other one i hate movies oh uh film spotting is that a popular one i don't i think it might be uh you're battleship pretension is that a popular one? I think it might be. Battleship pretension, is that a big one? I just hear about these things. I don't really listen to them. Unspooled. I'll see them when I'm looking at the charts.

What do you think about unspooled? What's that? That's Paul and Amy Nichols. Paul Shearer and Amy Nicholson do a movie podcast. Kevin once told me how many. What do they do? They just pick a classic and discuss if it holds up or seems like it.

Yeah. I haven't listened to it, but I enjoy both of them. And I like that premise. But that's the other funny thing, though, about as much as I love movies and movie trivia and stuff, like I don't really listen to stuff like that because I don't... It to stuff like that yeah because i

don't i'd rather your head all day long well i want to play yeah i want to be i want to participate yeah they don't listen what do you so that's my favorite things that to you know to go to is when you have a chance to participate it can be frustrating it's like how it's hard sometimes for kevin to watch mma because he just wants to get in there and crack some skulls. Right. So he's like, why am I going to watch it when I could be out there doing it? You're listening to trivia. You're like, but I'm Mr. Movie Trivia. Yeah, Chef Kevin, he can't watch Food Network.

No. He's just like, I want to be in there. I want to be in Worst. He just wants to get in there and bust skulls. They got a show called Worst Chefs in America. He could easily be one of those. Well, as Ben Vereen once said on the set of a television show I was working at

when he had to physically be restrained from getting on a hoverboard and guaranteeing that we all were sued, I want to play, I want to play. That's a fantastic story. We bury that in. Was he in character from the, oh my God, I was going to get the wrong actor. That would have been terrible. What were you going to say? I was going to get the wrong actor. That would have been terrible. What were you going to say?

I was going to say somebody else. So let's not worry about that. Let's not get into the fact that I was going to say Tony Cox, the little guy from Bad Santa. I get them confused all the time. They get mixed up. I think that's weirdly not problematic.

Can we play the letter ball game? Hi, Doggy. If you guys have prepared it or something, because I can't, I don't do it you know. Yeah. We, yes. Extemporaneous. It's so prepared. Absolutely. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Yeah, we must have. That's why you explain.

Where is it? You guys don't have any notes or anything How to? There's a whole computer right there It's got all the notes of the world on it The notes are all around us I wish I could have a computer at my shows I don't have a computer Why don't you explain, not to us, but to everyone else

in the world who is listening how to play that What, the Leonard Maltin game? Oh good lord That's why we don't play it uh very much anymore you forget how it's a little occasional treat well it's a little bit there's a lot of work goes into putting it together and which I don't hurt your feelings when he did that he loves movies what he did that movie he did that. He did a show. Who did? Leonard Maltin. Maltin?

He's been on my show. I'm going to do his. Maltin Fest is coming up. But he tried to. So I guess, yeah, and you can be cooler than now because you're still standing. You buried him. This show is not. No, he's doing great.

No, but not the show. He's got a whole festival No, but not the show. He's got a whole festival and he does the show with his daughter, Jessie, and they've both been on Doug Loves Movies. Wait, is his show, Kevin, what?

Is that show still around? Yeah. Mont Loves Movies still around? They moved to Nerdist. Oh, so this is what happened. Kevin told us that the show was dead, but really he just meant it was dead to him.

Yeah, that's what happened. Kevin told us that the show was dead, but really he just meant it was dead to him. Yeah, that's what happened. But yeah, they're great. And I don't, you know, he's been talking about movies since, you know, before I was born. So I didn't really feel like he took the idea from me. Okay. He certainly, you know, realized there was podcasting and doing my show. Like he'd come, he'd say to me,

I love doing your show because it gives me street cred. And that's a fun expression to hear coming from an old guy you admire from when you were young. So how do you do the game? Oh, so the Leonard Maltin game involves, you know,

his movie review books that he used to have. Great. And it was an app and now it's not an app anymore. So that's part of why we don't play it on the show because it was so easy when it was an app and I could just pull everything up on my phone. So now I do it out of a book. But anyway.

What happened to the app, Deep State? it uh you know the company that he had to deal with uh you know would you know it seemed to be a popular app and he wasn't getting the money he wanted for it and then you know yeah the app game's got to be rough like it's got to be hard to uh oh yeah you know you gotta really uh they're so small for first of all so i don't know i don't know if he has a new app or not i'm not sure i want him to make the le Maltin, his reviews, the app that you used to have to buy from some other company. He should just do it himself. Just do it.

Just hire a guy. All he needs is somebody to just set it all up for him, and he'll be good to go. Engineer Jordan, $10,000. Do the whole thing. Top to finish. Anyway, I'll10,000. Do the whole thing. Top to finish. Anyway, I'll try to talk to him about it sometime. So what do you say?

You say... We usually just talk about movies. Right. Sorry. I'll be bored. So the game is... Here's how the game works. You guys can get some more of that water.

Yeah. I feel like I'm on trial here because I got to come up with the answers. Judge F. Kafka. I got to remember how this works. But it was very complicated to explain. But the idea is you take one of his reviews, and I read a few little snippets from it. Okay.

Don't really give away what movie it is. It's very, you know, it's just stuff like Oscar worthy, and it was too long. You know, he says most movies he says they were too long. Exactly. But also Oscar worthy. So, because Oscar movies are too long. So, he's always right.

Not always. But, you know, I disagree with him on occasion. But it's usually just movies where there's a lot of action because he's, you know, he's older. He doesn't care about that anymore. He wants to, you know, see some nice ladies crying. So, you read the review, his quote. I read some quote, and then you guess what the movie is. I say what year it is. Yes.

I say, here's how many actors he lists at the bottom of the review. And sometimes he lists up to 20, 30 actors. But most of the time, it was like 7 to 12. So I'd say, and this is how many actors. Then I go to the first person on the panel and say, how many names would you need to name it? How many names from that list? Reading from the bottom, so the smaller character roles leading up to the leads.

So if you say you can name it in four names, you're not going to hear, you know, if it's an eight-name thing, you're not going to hear the top four names. Okay. So they bid like that. They take turns bidding how many names they think you can get it in. And when somebody— Where are they bidding? Movies? Huh? Or how many names from the – they're bidding on how many names it will take them to get the correct answer.

And then they – we eventually have somebody turns and says name the movie. Like some guy will say I can name it in two. The next guy will go – I keep saying guy, but there are some women on the movie. You know, like some guy will say, I can name it two. The next guy will go, I keep saying guy, but, you know, there were some women on the show. Any, yes. I remember there was one on there, yes. Yes, it's happened. It's totally happened.

I remember. And so the guy will turn to the lady next to him and say, name it. And then, oh, that was a classic when I was lucky enough to get Chris Evans on with Leonard Maltin and we were playing this game and Chris Evans actually said

he actually Chris Evans actually said to Leonard Maltin name it bitch oh wow and Leonard Maltin and I wish Leonard Maltin had said language because that's what Captain America says. But that was still a great moment. And I probably tell that story too much,

and that's why I don't ever hear from Chris anymore. Well, we should play the game, right? Good luck. We gotta. Because now that everyone knows the rules, we can play it. So it starts with a quote. So, okay. It starts with a year.

And I'm looking at the book. I'm looking at the Leonard Mullen book, and I'm flipping through it, and I'm just picking a random one. Here we go. The year is. Can I tell you a weird thing we discovered playing with the book like this? Yeah, absolutely. If you don't hide it, we know approximately where in the alphabet the title begins.

Oh, okay. So turn around, Hayes. Okay. Because you flipped nearly to the end, so it's going to be a W, X, Y, or Z probably. Right. Okay. Probably not even C because there's a few more pages. Probably Zootopia.

Yeah, so be careful about that. Okay, I'll turn away. And I'll say, okay. Leonard Maltin says, the year for this one is... I didn't realize that he doesn't give the actual year. He describes something that happened to him that year.

Right. Which is also the year he saw it. Not necessarily the year the movie was made. something that happened to him that year. Right. This one says... Which it's also the year he saw it, not necessarily the year the movie was made. Yes. Very unusual. This one says the year that he had sex for the 500th time.

So that's surprising that I'm expected to track that. I didn't think he'd be so good with numbers. That he would keep count? He doesn't seem like a guy that is like... I didn't think he'd be so good with numbers That he would keep count He doesn't seem like a guy that is like I didn't think he was sweating it You know what I mean My assumption was just that he put it down

Whenever he pleased And he didn't necessarily have to tally it But sometimes people are They pay attention to the details let's say And apparently that's him. He was on a show once, a syndicated show, where it was all about movies that are coming out, and they had a criticism segment,

and it was like a he said, she said, and this other lady critic sat next to each other, and they both had paddles, and they'd never spank each other, at least not on camera, but they would have to hold up the one side or the other if the movie was hot or cold. And I said to Leonard, didn't Schindler's List come out when you were doing that

and he was like yes unfortunately he had to say that Schindler's List was hot I'm giving it a hot rating because it is so amazingly hot spicy film yeah there's

Steven Spielberg brought the heat with this one I mean... Spicy film. Yeah, there's... Okay, and now we say the number... Steven Spielberg brought the heat with this one. Yeah. Now we say a number of characters. Okay, so in the list of characters, it just says there's like a million guys in this movie. I can't stop looking at these. Like, there's a bag of chips in the middle of the table.

You know I offered you one. You want some? I can't believe that you guys even have them in the room at all. And they're really just out of arm's reach. Because also, crunching on camera, that's no good. And we're not on camera. I meant on microphone. No, on mic.

Yeah, people hate it when we eat on here. I mean, they really get pissed off. But please feel free to have some of those dark russet Cape Cod potato chips, special ordered from the East Coast. You can't get those out here, Doug. All right, if I can't take it, like if I get really want one badly, then I'll roll away from the microphone when I choose. He turns the bag upside down, which I like.

I refuse to crunch on Mike. He held the bag upside down over his head and just eyeballed all the chips. Really interesting. So there's a million guys in the movie. There's a million guys in this movie. And is there a critic quote as well? Yes, there's a critic quote. It says, Usually I have a policy of not being friends with Terminators.

But this one I do want to be friends with. Okay. All right. All right, I'm going to have a chip. I think I can do it in 50 names. 50 names guessing, oh, the number of guys in the movie? Okay. No, you also have to mention how many Leonard lists.

He said there's like a million guys in this movie. Yes. That's what, instead of like the number of characters. So I don't even know if I can list the, there's. Oh, you just, by looking at it, it's just too many. No, he doesn't list the characters. It's written out in the book. I'll show you.

See, it says there's like a million guys in this movie. It looks like he got tired and didn't want to name all the different guys. This is unusual, but okay. I'll accept it. This isn't my show. Yeah. I don't know what kind of. Thank you.

Thank you for agreeing. It's not mine either. I don't know where you get your Leonard Maltin guide not mine either what year is that from is that from 88 let me see the book itself is very

it's like leather bound and it's like very dusty it's like it's like the bound and it's like very dusty. It's like the book from Neverending Story. Proceed. So I guess I win because I said 50, right? No, I get to say less. Oh, okay. Good luck.

I can name it in 49 names. Oh, no. This motherfucker is undercutting me, this son of a bitch. I can't believe I'm getting scooped like this. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. I give up. Okay.

Don't you get mad when somebody on Price is Right bids $1 more than the person next to them. Oh, that would piss me off. I'd be kicked off that show so fast. Oh, my God. And they just have to take it. That's what I always felt like people should do for your box office game because you have to say how much it earned, right? And why don't people just say a dollar

because it definitely made at least that much. That's a good strategy. And so you probably can't play that game anymore. Also, instead of a dollar more than the person next to you, say $50 more. Give them a little sporting chance to have the number magically fall into that hole.

That'd be pretty sweet, yeah. But then would you be kicking yourself? Probably, but you know what? You're going to have to pay the taxes on the car you don't want. Think about that, Price is Right contestants. Now you're a car salesman. You're going to have to sell a car. That's what you win on those shows.

Okay, I've got the letter book now wait I have to name the characters in the movie so he guessed okay I'm naming characters until you stop he might the crazy machine little Hamilton

but she's not so little in this movie I think he thinks that the actress's name is Little Hamilton. Oh. But it must mean Linda Hamilton. I would think. Okay. Jed Furlong.

The Terminator. The Terminator 2. The spiky arm. The mean policeman the thumbs up glove the sunglasses okay i know who this is and we're so okay so you're naming a person i thought it was that we're naming a movie it's leonard mal. Yes, that's right. Oh, wow. So. Bosch man.

Doug used his power. So you have like powers with your hand where he pet Bosch and like a huge clump of fur came off onto his head. Yeah, if you ever want that dog de-furred... You'll furminate him? Yeah, I'll totally furminate him. Furminate her too? Mm-hmm. So, should I do one from the book now? All right.

So this was fun. This is such an old-school way to play it. Like, when we first invented this game, it was me and my friends, uh, uh, Brian Posehn and Sarah Silverman would sit around and play it. Uh,

when we were, you know, bored and hanging out. And, uh, then I eventually started doing it on Douglas. Are these people that are named the same thing as the famous ones? Yeah.

Yeah. They're just both. They're lawyers. Okay. It must be tough, tough life for them. No, it a lot of a lot of the games and various things in my shows i you know got from random people who just you know made a suggestion and you know probably never gave them the credit they deserve yeah but they appreciate the the um just that you are doing well.

I hope so, yeah. I know I always felt that way. If I got a phone call into a radio show or got to be on a TV show, a game show or some shit, I was always excited to be there. Yeah. Didn't feel too bad about it when it didn't all go the way I hoped it did. Sean, you have the book. Ah, the book. So year first.

So it says, this is from the year where I was driving home like really late. It was after 3 a.m. And I really don't think I was drunk, but I definitely had had more than I normally would before I drive. Anyway, I came around a blind corner, and I felt a big thump, and I never slowed down to see what, or God forbid who, it was that I had hit with my car. I just drove home. I checked the hood later, and there was a dent

and a bit of rust-colored fluid, but it could have been anything. Anyway, that's what year this was. And then a critic quote, I guess, would be, man, I thought this looked good, but I don't know if I ever actually saw it. And then for the people in it, it says, I kind of only really remember the two main folks, guy and a gal.

So what do you guys think? How many? Oh, okay. Who goes first? I think I can do it in four. Okay. Four names? Yeah.

Out of how many? There's two. You're going to give him four names out of two? I would like to, you know what? I'm excited to see that happen. Go ahead and name it. Yeah, I'm just saying name it. Okay.

Ready. So you get four out of two names. Yes. So I don't even know what that means. Okay. There's only two names, right? So he just gets all the names. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Okay. Janine Giraffalo Truth about guys and dogs Nope Oh come on There's a bunch of people in that movie I know but Janine Giraffalo

Is in that Janine Giraffalo Giraffalo That'd be a good Zootopia character Janine Giraffalo Okay so now Doug gets the next one Alright Doug get us with the book Janine Giraffalo. That'd be a good Zootopia character. Janine Manapa, no. Okay, so now Doug gets the next one. All right, Doug, get us with the book.

Garrow Fallow. Wait, we never guessed the movie. Oh, yeah. He gets the other name and he gets the guess. Oh, I get the other name? Yeah. Okay. Vance Vaughn.

Who? Vance Vaughn. Vince Vaughn. Who wasance Vaughn Vince Vaughn who was the other name? Janine Giraffalo Janine Giraffalo and Vince Vaughn were in

oh oh oh oh Clay Pigeons yeah bye Hollywood Handbook That was a HeadGum Podcast.