Hollywood Handbook - Episode 200, Our Unbelievable Achievement

Episode Date: August 29, 2017

Sean and Hayes are joined by some very special friends of the show to celebrate their 200th and send it off once and for all. This episode is sponsored by Wohven (www.wohven.com code: theboys), Harry's (www.harrys.com/HOLLYWOODHANDBOOK), and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/HANDBOOK). You can grab the exclusive Hollywood Handbook 200th episode poster at PodSwag: https://www.podswag.com/collections/new-arrivals/products/hollywood-handbook-200th-episode-posterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Okay. So, it's me, it's Mare, Winningham, and Toxie, the Toxic Avenger, from the Toxic Avenger films. And we're trying to scrape the resin out of our pipes to get enough of a ball of tar to get a good hit. Because we're all broke. We're artists. We're starving artists. And we love to get high.

And this is a way to sort of, when you're really up against it, squeeze out just one more blast. And so we're like scraping and I've got the paper clip in there and I'm rattling it around at the end of the pipe and it doesn't feel like there's much more coming out. And then Toxie goes like, oh, I'll stick my mop in there. Now it's way too big, Hayes.

I mean, I'm telling you, I was using a paper clip. Like this is a small hole. I'm going in through the carb. And he's like, I'll do my mop. And it's definitely not going to fit. But he's fucked up. You know what I mean? He's got a...

He's like a slime face. He's fucked up. So I just don't want to be like, no, don't do that. He's got this blind girlfriend. This is my fault. Is supporting him. I know this is good. I'm barely paying attention.

This is totally my fault. And I would supporting him? I know this is good. I'm, like, barely paying attention. This is totally my fault. And I would love to hear this story another time. I'm just, like, I'm. Can't focus. I know. I can't. Like, I'm excited. I can hardly tell it.

I mean, when I was telling it, I was going, like, what is, you know, is this a story? And it's, like, it's excitement. And I'm happy. But I feel kind of, like, sick. It's not like a, like, it's like a good sick. No, I feel, yeah, like I'm going to throw up, but I'm going to love it. I know. Yes.

Yeah. I'm just like, so. I'm going to have like a really good throw up that feels really like cathartic. And yeah. And I never feel like this doing the show. Yeah. And I'm like flu-y and fever-y and I'm like sweating and I'm shaking

and I'm sort of pale and my mouth is dry and I'm weak and I have sort of like not been able to get any sleep but I keep falling asleep when I don't want to and I'm achy.

Yeah, so stomach pain, throat pain. Stom stomach pain, throat pain. Stomach pain, sharp pain, yeah. Hurts to talk. My, not to get graphic, but when I go to the bathroom, it's unpleasant, you know, more so than usual. In different kinds of ways. Yes, yeah. Yeah.

And my feet are swelled up. I have like a rash everywhere. There's bugs crawling out. I have these like abscess, like I have these like sort of giant pimples on my arms and stuff. Yeah. That have like a crater in the center of them. And these sort of bugs I've never seen before are crawling out. There's an army of them.

Because you're so excited. Because I'm so excited about this episode. And it's like, I almost don't want to do it. It's been built up so much, I'm almost scared to do it. But I think we should just do it. We should just start. And not to focus on the bugs, but they seem to have their own language. And they're very intelligent.

And they're very organized. And as they're coming out of my arms, they're starting to build something. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? I get, you know, we talk a lot about the show

and doing the show. We talk a lot about the show and this is just one of the ways I show excitement is I sort of sing what Hayes says. And that's a new thing. And you can do it too. And the show, you know, when we say the show, what do we mean, right? Is that something we should say? If you're just, you know, if this is your first episode, if you're just joining us, you know, I know a lot of people have been finding it lately and maybe don't have a sense of people have been finding it lately. Yeah.

And maybe don't have a sense of what it is. I think it's always good to sort of reset. What is the show? What are we doing here? And at the same time say, we're not doing it anymore. Yeah. It's over. It's a good, I guess a good time. Because this will bring a lot of people into the show because people will be celebrating on this one.

A lot of people you might like from outside of the show will be coming here. They'll be posting, so happy to be a part of. To sort of honor what we've done. Yeah. But it is over. It has been. Boo hoo hoo. You know, it's happy, but it's sad.

Yeah, it's like, and as much as we talk talk about we hate doing the show and it's so bad and we're not compensated properly and all these other things. And that the show is bad. Yes. And the podcasts are very bad. Yes, and our show is better than all the other podcasts. But that the ceiling is so, so low for what a podcast can be. So it just has to be – we just have to end it and all other podcasts have to be over as well. But at the same time, it is an achievement.

We did do 200 of these and it is special today. It feels like a special day. I would say we did 200 and I'd venture to say about two dozen of them came out pretty all right. Yeah. Like, well, yes. If you took parts of maybe like – I mean, when we started this, I said, I think I got 10 in me. Yeah.

I remember. He said, I got an idea for six or seven myself. And so combined, we thought we might squeeze out 20. And I think those good two dozen are parts of like 45 or something. It's not two dozen complete good ones. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No single episode works. Yes.

But moments from various episodes work so well. Sometimes like two-thirds of an episode is really good, and you combine that with like 10 minutes of another episode, and that is one. That's mostly bad, yes. Yeah. So we've managed to put together

if you add it all up I would say about 24 10 minute episodes that are good. But it is like it has become this family as we're doing the show

we've met all these people that we have really come to love. And that's part of why we stuck with it for so long, is it was a family. It was really just like spending time with our family. I was going every, we record this show on Saturdays. Every Saturday I was waking up

and sort of a little groggy from TGIFing. And I would go, oh my god, it's Thanksgiving Day because I'm going to spend time with my family and have a feast of words and comedy. And it's also the fans is part of that. They're part of the family. They're sort of the family that you didn't invite to be at Thanksgiving, but that you maybe give a call and go like, hey, I hope it went okay.

And you sort of call when you know they're eating so that you know you get their voicemail. And you only talk to them on Thanksgiving. It's only on Thanksgiving and you only get their voicemail and you just sort of leave a whole podcast of what you've been up to. And you don't really ask them about themselves. So,

this... We do need to leave some time. We are going to be having a bunch of... No, I don't want to do all this setup. This is going to be a really long episode. This episode is slated to be probably four or five hours long. Yeah. Friends coming in.

Some sort of special surprise. To give the show kind of the send-off. I'm expecting to be surprised, you know, myself with a lot of this stuff. I have been, in addition to being so sick, I've been like loading up on fluids because I'm expecting to be crying. I'm expecting the waterworks to be going basically for a couple hours straight because it is so meaningful and so important to me. What we were trying to do with the show, what we almost did on some of the episodes, and what we're now not going to even fuck around with anymore, which is to do a comedy podcast that is not total dog shit. So do we just start the parade? Yeah, I feel like there's – I don's no, maybe we do one at a time.

That's probably better. Do you want to just ask Kevin who's been waiting the longest? I mean, I know the lobby is probably pretty. Kevin. Kevin. Hi. Hi. Um, okay. How do you, how, how do you want to do this? Kevin. Hi. Hi. Okay.

How do you want to do this? Who has been out there? I don't want it to be just anybody. No, no, no, no, no. But of the first three or four people that arrive, we'll just pick one of them. Because it's like, I'm sure, like Will Hines probably showed up, you know, like whatever. He might have slept here last night. But of the guests, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, so who, is there anyone out there who's good, who's like been there a while, but is also not like the best, is not like Kroll or whatever? We want to build up to the, yeah. Yes. Or like Aubrey or whatever.

Like whoever has been out there, somebody in the medium range. Yes. Somebody like. What are you guys talking about? The guests. The guests, The guests. Obviously, they're swarming.

There's no one out there. Me and Bosh are watching Netflix. Watching Netflix? You didn't pick a show? Are you just watching the home screen? The thumbnails. Yeah. Okay.

A lot of them start to play on that. Wait, wait, wait. Am I focused on the wrong thing? I'm trying to put – where did they go? Did the lobby get so crowded that they're out in the parking lot? Possibly. I mean, I don't see anyone. Did you say something?

No, I haven't said anything to anyone. Did you rip one? Kevin – I mean, Chef Kevin can clear a room. That does happen, but it hasn't happened. He might have ripped it. Okay, what I said was people were going to show up at 11. We were in here kind of letting them build up and sort of steam build. You were supposed to hand out the scripts, right?

Sure, I have a big stack of scripts. And then they would come in. supposed to hand out the scripts, right? Sure. I have a big stack of scripts. The EW scripts. Yeah. And then they would come in, and one at a time, and we'd gradually build to this big celebration of the show. And not everybody, but most of the guests we've ever had were going to be here. Yeah. Plus a bunch of people that had never been here before. I have a huge stack of scripts on my desk, and no one has shown up.

Okay. Okay. Haze. I'm trying to, is it like... Haze. Yeah. Did they... Did they have the right day or anything?

This is what I'm trying to think of right now. Did we do it on the wrong day? I really don't think so. So when I sent emails, I did a countdown. When I sent out the mass email. You got an email every day. Every day. With a number at the top.

It would be a countdown and a joke based on the day of the week. And it was like Saturday at 11. Do you want to just, when we all go to heaven. Just because it sounds like we have a little extra time, do you want to do some of your day of the week jokes? Okay, I guess I can go through. Today is Monday. On Saturday we have a fun day. The Tuesday, picture of the Blues Brothers.

Today is Tuesday. Saturday we throw away your Blues Day. And the Blues Brothers are getting into a trash can. Yes. Wednesday was hilarious. Wednesday I was laughing at picture of the cast of Friends today is Wednesday

Saturday you hang out with all your friends day it's not that funny but it's not supposed to be funny it's supposed to be catchy and memorable so people would show up on Saturday at 11 and I did laugh for the Tuesday one you attached a picture of the Blues Brothers.

For the Wednesday one, you literally just wrote, picture the cast of Friends. So in my mind, I got to put them in all the scenarios I love. But I left the trash can in. Yeah, the trash can's there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm only seeing that now. Because I used the same. I just deleted the Blues Brothers.

I forgot that the trash can was a separate image. Edited the draft, yeah. Okay. But I pictured like Phoebe sort of doing some of her, she did massage. And I pictured Joey, you know, there's an episode where he's eating jam the whole episode. Can we do, and I pictured Monica, you know, dusting. She got a feather duster. Can we change the count or something?

We did. Fuck. Rachel was working at Central Perk, the coffee shop, you know, and Gunther was sort of giving her the business. The whole thing with Scott was about $199. Ross had a sweater, like a turtleneck sweater. And Chandler, Kraken-wise. Do we not...

How do we... Okay. Marcel was sort of on... We have to do a show? The counter. Yes. Absolutely. Advertisers have paid.

I know the fans give a shit. So, Kevin, because it's our last episode, we sort of had a lot of stuff planned. And obviously we invited all 200 guests. We had this whole big thing that we scripted out. And we had some stuff because we don't necessarily trust all of them. We're really good with words. We're really smart.

Sure. And they like that more. They don't want to just come in and be told what to do. They don't want to be forced on the spot to come up with, especially in something where they're this emotional that they're saying goodbye to their favorite podcast, that they now have to put together something eloquent. So what Hayes

was able to do with a little bit of my help and some input from engineer Brett, let's give him, you know. Brett, do you want to say what you added to the script? A lot of me, first of all. That's gone. I mean, if I could add.

That got cut. Just we had to make room for some of our. But at any rate. People aren't like, oh, where's Brett in all this? No, like you're here like all the time. You're still going to be here. You're going to be in all the other bad shows that one by one sort of fall off the face of the earth. going to be here. You're going to be in all the other bad shows that one by one sort of fall off the face

of the earth. So we put these scripts together because it was like, well, they're going to like sort of saying what we think our show was. Okay, okay, yes. Okay, how about this? We do the script. We have the script.

So we do it. Kevin does everybody who's not us. Right, right, right. So we do the whole script does everybody who's not us. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we do the whole script and then we talk to them afterwards and we say, and we say, okay, hey, so

don't worry about whatever happened that you missed the episode. Fuck that. You record, here's your line and you record that. Here, we record, I get what you're, we'll record you saying what they're going to say. We'll react in the moment. Then even if we wind up calling them,

I mean, even if their schedule doesn't work to get into the studio, if we just call them and have them say it on the phone, we'll be able to get their voice saying it. That's never going to be a problem. And we can piece it together by Tuesday? I think we can do this. That's fine. Okay. Let's do the script and we can come in and out

and we'll just be able to and Brett will just stitch it all together. Yeah. Okay. And say who you're reading. And Brett, don't put your stuff about you back in when you stitch it together just because like

send the final one to me please it's not going to go straight from you onto the website I'll sneak it in there okay Kevin if you want to do that why would you say that now like if that's your plan is to sneak it in there

why would you say to me I'll sneak it in there. Why would you say to me, I'll sneak it in there? He's going to edit it all out. That's so fucking stupid. Just cover my ass. Later, I can prove to you that I told you. That makes me think that he didn't even have a plan and he's like, oh, that sounds smart because we thought of something smart for him to do and he's like, oh, yeah,

I was going to do that smart thing. Yeah, that's what happens a lot. He wasn't going to do anything. A lot of times when I'm dealing with villains, I wind up giving them good ideas for what their what happens a lot. He wasn't going to do anything. A lot of times when I'm dealing with villains, I wind up giving them good ideas for what their plan should be by just saying, like, please don't do this. And they're like, oh, I am going to do that. Yeah, I know. I know. Okay, this is Ross Matthews.

Hey, boys, you know I had to wish you a happy 200th. Sorry, in a way, that's what happened to Joker. Yeah. Because they're like, we're trying to arrest you. And then his plan became, I actually want to get arrested. If you recall. Right. And you did that?

Huh? And you did that? Well, I'm doing things like that. Oh, okay. Like with Brett. Do Ross Matthews again. Do Ross Matthews and start over. And bring it.

He's like a high energy. He's going to have to match your cadence as we put it over. He's going to have to match your sort of mouth movements exactly. So bring the. Okay. Hey, boys. You know I had to wish you a happy 200th. Ross May.

Hey. Have a seat, buddy. Sit down. Oh, dude. Thank you so much for coming back, man. I love your shit, man. Thanks for having me. Fucking thank you so much for coming back, man. I love your shit, man. Thanks for having me. Fucking thank you.

Stick to the script, please. Just speak right in the mic. And we can just move on to the next person. Yeah. And maybe just shuffle through a bunch of these. Shelby Farrell. Hey, you weren't going to try and do this show. That's too much energy.

That's too much energy. Yeah. Take it down. Her thing is she's over it. Hey, you weren't going to try and do this show without me, were you? Okay. Hey, Shelby, you caught us. No, man, you're always welcome here, Shelby.

And you did two episodes, and we love you, and we love that you came to support us on the show. Yes, and thank you. Clark Duke. Hope you've got another chair. It's party time. Hey, I'm dying up here. You're killing me. Clark, I love you and I'm in love with you, man. I'm so happy that you're here. Yeah, Clark, thank you so much for coming. And it really means a lot that you agreed to be here and you showed up. I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing this right.

Andre Vermeulen? Yeah, Andrecing this right. Andre Vermeulen? Yeah, Andre Vermeulen. We call her Dre. Dre, that's right. She's a great rapper, I think. Happy 200, boys. Here's to 200 more. Now. Can we get this party started? No, the inflection is wrong. It's now can we get this party started?

Yeah, that makes sense. Now. Now. Can we get this party started? Yeah, that makes sense. Now. Unbelievable. Now. Can we get this party? It's like, what if you were actually trying to start a party, and you're Dre? Yes. And medium energy for this one. Yeah.

Happy 200, boys. Here's to 200 more. Now can we get this party started? That was good. Grace helped. That was good. Yes. Can we take a minute to recognize?

Yes. And give us a little space to react to Dre. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much, Dre. God, is everyone going to be here? I can't believe how many people are showing up for the big party. I'm getting tired. Grace Helbig.

I was in the neighborhood and heard something about a huge party. Oh, gosh. I remember doing that episode. Grace, it was an early episode, but one that sort of made me feel like we could do this for a little while. A couple more, yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Grace. And we have talked to you a lot since that episode, and thank you for still being our friend.

Yeah, it's good that we kept in touch the way we have. And you might be back any minute because we do know each other. This is me. Hey, Chef Kevin here. I made popcorn in everyone's favorite pizza. Who's hungry? Do it sexier. Give it some sex appeal. Because a lot of these women that came here are going to want a little bit of something for the girls.

Hey, Chef Kevin here. I made popcorn in everyone's favor of pizza. Who's hungry? Did you do that? I brought pies. Okay, pizza's kind of like a pie. Pizza pie. Well, because you've got an apple pie, which you could call, if you parse it correctly,

if you have a peach pie, you could go, I made everyone's favorite pizza. Peach pie. Peach pie. You know what I mean? How do you parse that? If you go, you could go, I made everyone's favorite pizza. That doesn't work. Yeah.

But then you could go, I made everyone's favorite pizza. Peach pie. That's everyone's favorite kind. Is that how you interpreted that? When I said make everyone's favorite pizza, peach pie. That's everyone's favorite kind? Is that how you interpreted that? When I said make everyone's favorite pizza? Yeah, I went to the store and got a peach pie and an apple pie. Okay. Because I think you probably meant to say, I made everyone's favorite pizza.

But he went, I made everyone's favorite pizza. No, that's not what I meant. I said everyone's favorite pizza. No, I said I wanted you to make everyone's favorite pizza. Could I make a suggestion? Well, he did. Well, but he did. And it doesn't sound like you made it.

Well, I mean, I bought it. Could I say something? Can you go get the pies, Kevin? Hang on. Brett has something to say. Yeah, but just go get them. What are you going to say? He might have heard you say pizza pie.

Everyone's favorite pizza? It's not a hearing thing. I pie. Everyone's favorite pizza? It wasn't a, it's not a hearing thing. I mean, everyone's favorite pizza. This was a text. It's not a hearing issue. And now I'm like, all these people, if they had shown up, all these people are here and there's like two pies. Yeah, yeah. And there's no popcorn?

No, I don't eat this. I don't eat this. Get that away from me. I just want to have them, I guess, in case somebody comes. Everyone's favorite pizza. In case somebody comes so we could be like, okay, we are celebrating. Oh, and you did have apple. I thought you were correcting me when I said apple.

No, I got a peach and an apple pie. Okay, I made everyone's favorite pizza, apple pie. There's a peach one, too. So gross. They're made with Splenda? They look like shit. Okay, I made everyone's favorite pizza, apple pie. There's a peach one, too. So gross. They're made with splendor. They look like shit. Oh, my God. But to defend him in terms of did you make it, if he bought that with money, he did make it.

I guess. You're making it with the money, man. Maybe we can put these in like— You doing the work to earn the money, that's making pie, baby. And that's a good lesson to our listeners. Maybe we can put these on like an old-fashioned plate or something so people feel like they're

really nice. Honestly, I'm already not feeling well. That's going to make me sick. That's going to make me very sick. It smells so bad. It looks terrible. It smells great. Happy 200th. Okay, this is awesome. I can't wait to throw those away as a celebration.

Just like I'm throwing away this podcast. This is awesome. Finally putting it in the trash and leaving. Asif Mandeep. Mandeep? I don't know how to. Oh, God. Maybe I should skip that one.

We're going to get sued. No, don't skip it. We have to have it. He's one of the biggest guests we've ever had. Frig should skip that one. We're going to get sued. No, don't skip it. We have to have it. He's one of the biggest guests we've ever had. Frigging million-dollar arm. Woo! Congratulations, boys. Just dropped in to celebrate my friends.

Okay, and he doesn't do that. Kevin's doing like a dance thing that seems culturally insensitive. He never does that. I thought I saw him do it once. This is Scott Aukerman. Hey, can I please hang out and party with you guys? No! This was just in case.

I don't know how we're going to get this. I assumed he was going to come in and do this, and he still might, as to try and join the party, which he was not invited to. Alex Borstein says, Fuck you, Scott. Everyone hates you because you didn't have the boys on your Vanity Project 500th episode,

which you did out of jealousy. This is Scott Aukerman. Ow, stop kicking my ass. I'm so weak. I'm a bitch. I guess we can get him to do that somehow. The performance is there. Yeah.

I guess we can get him to do that somehow. The performance is there. Yeah. And honestly, even if we just mix Kevin's voice down a little bit and make it sound like a weak baby, people will believe it's actually Scott. And is this him? I wonder if this is some kind of scheme that he is calling all these different people saying,

oh, it's on a different day, or oh, there's an emergency. Your family is in trouble. If he's pretending to be all their families or to even be the hospital. Yes, that's right. If Scott's saying that he's the hospital. This is the hospital. Your family is in the emergency room.

That's so dangerous. Yes. To have that many people now going to the hospital. Yes. At the same time that we're supposed to be here? Because then nobody else can get in. Because there's a ton of people. People that are actually in some kind of danger.

You blocked a driveway. Yes. That's so dangerous. If he did that, he should be in jail. And I do believe that he did. And I believe there should be an nationwide manhunt right now for Scott Ackerman. The pies don't smell as bad as you guys think they do. They actually smell really nice.

Y'all watch Manhunt Unabomber? No, I've been sort of getting ready for the show. Oh, right. Jessica Williams, hope I'm not late for the fiesta. You guys are my friends, and I'm proud of you. Thank you, Jessica. It's really nice to have you here, and we loved doing the show with you before,

and it's nice to remember that big episode we did. That was a nice get for us. That was a good episode. You happened to be in L.A. for a little while, and we were able to sort of make the timing work. And we always love making the timing work. Mark Messier, is that his last name? Come on. What? It says M-E-S-S-I-E-R. Mark Messier is that his last name? come on

it says M-E-S-S-I-E-R hey I was never a guest on this show we better do something about that right now so Mark Messier Messier oh sorry we had been talking to him he was going to

he had been listening to the show for a while and he had been saying it's good to come on the heels of the Jessica Williams where it is this was we did not make the timing work with him I still thought that there was a chance that he would show up and I had been saying oh let's save it for the 200

that'll be so fun to have Mark we didn't want to waste it he's got such a fun energy. Yes. And we have this great sort of thing we do with him. How do you describe it,

Hayes? It's like, it's sort of this playfully antagonistic relationship. It's kind of a Doughboys thing. Yes. It's Doughboys. I don't know what else to call it. I hate Doughboys thing. Yes. It's Doughboys. I mean, I don't know what else to call it. I hate to use it, but yeah, it's Doughboys. That we kind of did off the show and the Doughboys is now sort of doing.

Yeah, because they hung out with the three of us. But we have like a, we do Doughboys with Messier a little bit. It's not about food. It's just about our relationship. That's what people come for. Got it. This makes me think, you remember when Doughboys did that thing with like all those people recording messages for them, including us?

I know. And where are they? I know. Did they ask you to do that? Yeah. About themselves? Yes. They had us be like, congrats on your 100th episode.

What do you think, I just did that? No. Definitely not. And that was for 100 episodes. Honestly, you know what the thing is they don't have shit else going on yeah that must be what it is they don't have fuck all else to do is that what and we are doing yes that we have been putting out people don't think we need this which which we don't. No, this is a joke to us. So people are saying like, oh, is it embarrassing for me almost if I show up and this to them is such a whatever thing. This is an interesting thing.

Which it is, honestly. It would be embarrassing. To make a sort of example that would be in terms that maybe some of our audience could understand, if you're a fuck machine and you get it daily, and you can get it with whoever, this is like, for us, that's essentially our life, and then this is like jerking off.

This show is jerking off, even though we're total fuck machines who blast on the daily with the hottest chicks on the planet. Right. And so it's still fun to jerk off. It feels good.

And there's a freedom in kind of doing it alone where you can experiment with some stuff. But at the same time, you don't need it. Like you don't sort of crave that release. Right. So you can take it or leave it. And I think people with this show think them showing up would be kind of like them saying like, hey, can I kind of like sit with you while you jerk off? Yeah, yeah.

And it's like. And yes, you can. Sure, you can. But we're already going to be doing it and we don't really need you here. We don't need it. Yeah. This is happening with or without you watching. The show, huh?

This is happening with or without you. Yeah, yeah. The show is us stroking it, which is going to happen. Yeah. But we don't, for one thing, we don't need to record it, because we're going to be stroking it anyway. Sure. And also, a lot of times when there's someone else there, you sort of try to make it go for longer than it needs to. Yeah.

Just to be like, it feels like this. It's like inappropriate to start it. And this, even though it's definitely over. Yeah. Like it's pretty clear when it's over. You came all the way out here. Yeah. Yeah.

And then I, yeah. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. So that, just to put it in terms, because I feel like sometimes our audience doesn't really know how entertainment works. But it's also like show up for that.

That's like a big opportunity for you. Well, if you are invited, if you are actually invited, hey, I'm going to jerk off this Saturday. Do you want to come watch? Yes. Is that how you ordered it? Just read the rest of it. This is from Megan Fox. Hey, is it okay if I join the party?

I always wanted to tell you guys how much I liked you, but I was too embarrassed. I want to be with both of you guys. So that is something that she had said that she wanted to come on here and say. That she had been too embarrassed to come on the show for so long because she liked us. Yeah. And I guess she got so embarrassed that she didn't show up. And it's interesting with guys like us. I was proud of her for coming and asking even because a lot of times when you're,

if you're really hot and you're really, if you're guys like me and Hayes who are actually really hot. And fuck machines. Yeah, people are intimidated and they go, oh, I wouldn't want to ask him out. He'd never talk to me. But actually people never ask us out because everyone thinks that. Yes. So we're almost... Yeah, we're almost done. Kevin, you're not a guest, by the way.

You're helping with this. You're still here as Kevin. And Brett's disappointed in Kevin right now. Brett, do you want to talk a little bit about what you're seeing? Brett, you could be speaking up a little bit more. I've been good, right? I mean, you're just sitting there. Kevin is doing way too much. I cleared my schedule.

Kevin is doing way too much. You're doing nothing. It's our 200th episode. I know. I cleared my schedule for 200. People have been saying for so long, oh, Brett's getting so good, and this could have been a big show for you. Yeah, I'm starting to get good.

I cleared my schedule for 200, and, you know, I'm a little bit. Cleared my schedule. Yeah and I'm a little bit— Cleared my schedule. Yeah. I'm a little bit cheesed off right now. Listening to Rubber Soul. Let me just cross that out. Let me just shove it back. I'll push that to noon.

Now he's trying to pretend he even knows what that is. He was about to say great album. What do you mean? You don't know. You have no idea what he's trying to pretend he even knows what that is. He was about to say great album. What do you mean? You don't know. You have no idea what he's talking about. Well, is it a PC game? That's what I was going to do. Kevin, why don't you just rip through a couple more of these bad boys?

This is the Sklar Brothers. So maybe, Brett, every third word you can double my voice. Don't tell me what to do, please. I've been here for five fucking years. Sorry. What's up, Hayes and Sean? We were so inspired by you guys reaching 200 episodes. We'd like to announce that we're coming back to Earwolf.

Are they both saying that at the same time? You're supposed to double it. On back to Earwolf is when... Back to Earwolf. Jason was going to come in on Back to Earwolf, so do that again. What's up, Hayes and Sean? We were so inspired by you guys reaching 200 episodes.

We would like to announce that we're coming back to Earwolf. And then there's a third guy. There's a third. It's Roman. It's Roman. So is that still happening? I don't even know now. Is Roman named after Nicki Minaj's alter ego?

Yeah, Roman Reloaded. Yes. Yes. This is Jeff Ulrich, Adam Saxon. Wait, no. Wait, I just want to stay on this. I don't even know if that's still happening. Should we even make that?

Because that was going to be a big part of the show, that the Sklar brothers were coming back. Well, I guess... Huh. Are they going to want to come back when they see how Scott treated us by calling everyone saying he's the hospital? See, yeah. Is that not going to sour what was going to be a big get for Earwolf,

which is getting one of their old shows back? Yeah, so this will be... This is Jeff Ulrich, Adam Sachs, and Chris Bannon. Thanks for saving our network, guys. We'd like to announce that we are firing Scott Ackerman, and you're in charge, and that means you now control Brett, and he's not allowed

to do any other shows, and has to come to your house whenever you want, and fix Hayes' pool, and Sean can do science experiments on him. Brett says, sounds good to me. Okay, yeah, and Brett, can you give us that on him. Brett says, sounds good to me. Okay, yeah, and Brett, can you give us that? I wrote that part. Sounds good to me.

Yeah, and then he wanted science experiments done. I was like, I don't even really have too many ideas for a science experiment. I mean, I got a set of tweezers and a frigging lighter. That'll work. I get a hot tweeze. You know, I get a hot tweeze some of them. So Scott is still fired. My understanding is that Scott is still fired.

He is trying to intervene and stop this process from happening. It's already complete is my understanding. Scott is out. Yeah, he's gone. I mean, I think, although if he managed to actually sink this episode and then we're leaving, we're never going to be at Earwolf again. We won't know if he's gone. I mean, I think, although if he managed to actually sink this episode and then we're leaving, we're never going to be at Earwolf again. We won't know if he's here. Well, this was my question because I think them putting us in charge

was like an effort to get us to stay. Right. But if we're just gone, then I guess who cares. But I want to leave knowing that Scott is gone too. Well, let me talk more about the hot tweezers I'm going to use on Brett. So I'm going to heat them up with this lighter, and I've got this Zippo. Oh, sweet.

And the logo on the Zippo is GM. My old man broke his back for him for 20 years. They kicked his ass to the curb when the Japanese cars finally got a foothold here in the States. And even though they broke his damn back and let him go with no pension, he still kept this lighter. I guess you spend that much time believing in a cause like the American Motor Company, GM. Tough to let go.

Anyway, Brett, I thought maybe I'd heat the tweezers up and put them in your beole or pick away at some of your ear and nose stuff. Maybe I'd pinch the freaking wiener. This is the kind of stuff we wanted to have time to do. Well, it's hard when you're spending so much time picking apart why people didn't show up or what happened. You can just pinch. You can do a little of all of that.

Now I'm just thinking about my old man. Now it's like you want it so much. It's not fun anymore. He still believed in GM. Detroit. That's why we need basic income. The house that Steele built. Whoa.

I got another piece of sort of Hollywood advice, just sort of a parting gift I wanted to give the audience, which is a joke I came up with. The joke, yeah. So I came up with this joke the other day, and I thought, I'm not going to be able to use this. And maybe what I could do is, because we're not doing the show anymore, I could give the audience, as a way for the show to live on, this very funny joke of mine. I remember you saying, like, you had started talking about this joke like five weeks ago. Oh, yeah. As something you were going to do for the 200. Well, then I was starting to tinker with the joke, and that I was hoping it was going to get there in time for this.

But this joke is something, and let's get it trending. Let's get it going viral. You guys can use it when you're at the bar, and it's sort of a twist on something somebody might normally say at a bar. So what it is, you show up with your friends, and in order to sort of prove that you've got knowledge about, like, bartending and mixology, you go, hey, guys, I'm going to test this guy. Let's see if this barkeep knows how to make a really good old-fashioned

piña colada. Okay. Oh, man. So it's describing a pina colada an old fashioned pina colada yeah going from sort of

a cool drink to like a dumb drink let's see if this guy knows his way around an old fashioned that's great pina colada that would have been

the perfect thing to like close out the entire show yeah and then give that to you and then and now it lives on

a lot of our listeners have drinking problems. That's no secret. And they sort of live in these. Are looking for fun stuff to do in the bar. Something to make it funny that they're there every night kind of trying to find oblivion in a bottle. And so for us to give them a way to start with a wisecrack of, I'd love to see. Let's test this guy,

see if he's got any chops. I'm going to have him make me an old-fashioned pina colada. That's really, yeah, that's great. I mean. It's just kind of a perfect conclusion. And I'll say this. Now, I think, oh, it's totally in line with the show. Yeah.

But I think it's great that we're going to get it trending and go viral. And also, when it gets really big, make it your own. Because you go, this bartender's no good. He probably doesn't even know how to make an old-fashioned appletini. Peach pie. Cosmopolitan. Remember they drank Cosmos on Sex and the City? What is this?

The Pina Colada song? Yeah, I thought this would help. Rhett! They're going to have to pull... Get it? We're not allowed to do this. They're going to pull this frigging episode off the final episode where we have all these great guests.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. You're scaring me, scaring me, scaring me. And it kills the joke. It kills the joke. I thought it tagged it. If that's playing, then people know what the punchline is going to be. And I got to say, this is a joke that is going to get people having fun talking to each other. You know, actually getting around about mixology and the gastropub culture.

Yes. You know, and also it's gonna be getting people laid yes but if you have a song that people know no that like this pina colada is a surprise he says an old-fashioned the coolest drink but if you like i'm not allowed to play that song if there's any song we're gonna play it's it's going to be me and Hayes Davenport singing Wait by Michael Cronin. That was a nice, that was another nice

moment on the show. I bought the rights to that so you can't play that. People love that. I'm bleeding now just so everybody knows I'm bleeding. You were bleeding,

you know, you've been bleeding. I've been bleeding but now it's getting bad. I'm soaked. I am soaked. And I got to throw all these towels out. Obviously, I put a layer of towels under my clothes because I was so bloody and sweaty and pussy and buggy when I came in.

And now this is not helping. This is not helping my condition. No. Which is the condition of excitement about the episode. So now I'm frustrated. I think we had both been thinking that this would go away once. What, Brett? We have a caller.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Maybe this is one of the people that we wanted. Sure. Okay, here we go. This is Hal Rodnick, I think, probably. Here's the caller. Hello?

Hal? Who's this? It's one of the boys, the boy three. Oh, my God, it's Tom. Oh, God, it's Tom Sharpley. Hey, Tom. The boys. Hey, Tom, so cool that you called the show.

What up, what up? cool that you Tom wow called the show uh and we're and we're actually just here okay picking up some mail yeah uh and then we're gonna do ads split yes we're yes we're just here to do some ads doing ads we're doing ads yeah for the episode from last week. Right. And then we're not doing it anymore. It's already over. What's up, Tom? What are you doing? I'm in town. Oh, my God. Holy shit.

That sucks. L.A. Oh, what do you do? Do you have other stuff going on or something? Yeah. I guess you could say it's other stuff. I'm story editing on Confederate right now, which is pretty sweet.

That's great for you. Richie's running a pretty tight room. Richie? Incognito. Richie Incognito is running it. Okay, cool. Ah, yes. I had seen that he's the showrunner. Yeah.

Well, he's not showrunner. He's running the room while they're on doing a lot of scouting. He sounds manic. But look, I'm in town. He's totally unstable. Okay, cool. Well, we were just going to do a couple of ads here and get out. We were just trying to knock out these ads and then sort of peace out.

These are for the episode last week. They're just going to drop them in. And it sounds like you're busy too. No, I'm wide open. I ate, and now I got nothing to do. Hey, man, these, you know, slave stories aren't going to write themselves, though. You might want to get in the lab and kind of start, you know, fleshing out. Hayes plus Sean plus Tom equals the boys.

I didn't tell him. Let's do it. Where? Just give me an address I'll punch it in the GPS there's nothing to do Tom I don't think we were just going to kind of just take a casual

day today really yeah we have to and we're just not really going to do an episode we were going to watch all of casual yeah we were going to see an episode. We were going to watch all of Casual. Yeah, we were going to see Michaela Watkins sort of put on a clinic. Yeah, so we're not really doing a special episode or anything. Yeah.

And you know what I say about Casual? They got the right man for the job, Jason Reitman. Uh-huh. You know what I say about casual? Elementary, my dear Watkins. He's unhinged. He's out of his mind. Where are you?

Like, are you... Elementary, McKellar, dear Watkins. Are you, like, up in the valley or something? Like, you're not, like, close by, are you? I'm not exactly sure where I am. I see something that says umami on it, and I don't know. I ate in there, and it was good, but it was more. That's the fifth flavor.

That's the fifth flavor. So, yeah, it's good that you found that. That's the fifth flavor. So, um, uh, so yeah, it's good that you found that that's the fifth flavor. So, uh, yeah. Um, if you want to actually do us a favor, uh, could you run an errand for us and just find out what the name of the guy in casual is? Uh, we're just so, uh, swamped today with watching it and, uh, you know, the credits go pretty fast and the pause button's broken. So if you could find that out, I don't know if you want to go down to SAG and kind of pull their records.

That would be a good way to help the show, kind of celebrate our 200th episode and how much you have contributed to the show. You could talk to them at the counter. If you could find out who that guy is, that would be big. How would you describe him, Hayes? He's kind of a medium-sized guy with normal hair and kind of an okay face. Yeah, kind of an off-brand Josh Holloway.

Yes, and if you bring that to them, maybe they'll be able to dig through the files or something. And you can report back to us later with just like a text. I don't think it has to be a call. Uh-huh. You know? Or I could just bring you the, I'll just bring it to you. I'll write it down on a piece of paper. I don't know where we're going to be.

We're in a mobile viewing unit, and we don't have control of where it goes. That's good. Oh, you don't have control of where the mobile. Yeah. It's one of these tours they don't have control of where the mobile. Yeah. Where it's one of these tours they do now where you get in an RV, they're playing the show casual. And then it just sort of zips you around the city. The windows are blacked out.

You never know where you are. And, uh, he's not listed in the credits of his own show. It moves so fast. And as I said, the pause button's broken, Tom,

which I wish I got it. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah as I said, the pause button's broken Tom, which I wish... Gotcha, gotcha. I poured some stuff on it to try to get it unstuck and that seems to have just shorted out the whole thing. So, if you could get that info, that would be huge for the show.

SAG, you said. If you want to go down to the SAG building and just kind of see if they'll let you in the file room there and pull this dog's file. That's how you can help. That would be great, Tom. And then just going home, I think,

would be just a cool way to... What a great tribute to the show to sort of go home and just reflect on what it meant to all of us. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What about tonight? What about tonight?

What's tonight like for you guys? Oh, don't say today. Please don't say tonight because I want to see you so bad and that's just the only time that I can't do. How long are you in town? Probably like 11 weeks. Oh, that's the worst timing all the way through to the the bills by week oh that's because that is like kind of when i'm opening up when the bills are finally when the bills kind of get a break yeah they can sort of regroup a little bit and rest some of

their players oh man that's when we're gonna be. That's when we're going to be open. But you have other friends and stuff here, right? You have a lot of stuff that you can be doing. You don't even hang out with us. I'm going to go on the I'm Dying Up Here tour, which is pretty cool. That's great. Yeah, that'll be so fun. We just had Clark Duke here, yeah. I've been on the I'm Dying Up Here tour. pretty cool. That's great. Yeah, that'll be so fun. Mm-hmm. You did that.

We just had Clark Duke here, yeah. I've been on the I'm Dying of YouTube. Yeah, Clark was here not in any, like, he wasn't going to be here to celebrate the show. Don't talk to Clark. Yeah, no, no, no. He just was here, I think, recording ads for an Ida podcast that they're doing. I call it Ida, I-D-U-H. an Ida podcast that they're doing.

I call it Ida, I-D-U-H. I call it a duh, because it's like, is it your favorite show? A duh, of course it is. Okay, so I guess he's happy. He sounds great. I think he's doing well. I'm worried about him.

Well, that's so nice, T. That's really nice, Tom, and thank you for calling, and I'm sorry that we couldn't work anything out with you doing the show or anything. That's just the worst 11 weeks for this to come up, and I wish we'd known ahead of time.

Yeah. But good luck with the show. I'd love to see, you know, you're such a great storyteller. You're a great choice for it. You have a lot to say about that stuff, I know. So I am sure it'll... Richie has a lot to say about it.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah. I don't spoil anything. You can guess. But I am glad you're having fun. You sound like you're in a great place LA brings a good side of me out yeah

yeah yeah you sound so sunny out here it's always sunny in LA yeah I know I live here you sound healthy you sound sane it's so great

that you're kind of doing it. You're taking a stab. And so good luck. And we are very sorry, yeah, that it didn't work out. That sucks. But maybe if we're in New York. Boys will be boys, right? Yeah, we're the boys.

Yeah. We are. And no matter, and it doesn't, we don't even have to hang out and get together for us to always be the boys. That's what I love about our dynamic. Even if we don't see each other for years at a time or talk or interact in any way, it's just always right back. It's better without that. Pick up where we left off. It cheapens it almost for us to be in the same place or even like having this conversation.

It's so watered down for us to be directly interacting instead of sort of letting it speak for itself, the relationship that exists, even when we're apart. Oh, okay. So maybe if we're in New York, we can like... Yeah, yeah. You know? Fuck off. Oh. Okay, yeah. He know? Fuck off. Oh. Okay, yeah.

He hung up. Yeah. I don't know if that's, if he did. No, I, yeah, I think we had just kind of reached a normal end to the conversation. I think he was saying that to, like, some, you know, wherever. To a cab driver. Yeah, probably to, like, one of the cab drivers around here. Okay, I'm glad we got through that painlessly

because I didn't want to tell him that we were doing this. I was worried he would find out from Julie or something. Where is Julie? Yeah, that is strange. She must be at the hospital. Kevin, do you want to go check the lobby and just see if anybody's out there? Yeah, just see if anybody showed up. Yeah.

Because I thought he would come and like do that, basically. Yeah. Be like, oh, it's like our show and all that. So I just thought it's better to just... You know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And I'm glad he's here for... I thought he would maybe come here just for this and I sort of wonder if that is actually what happened. Yeah, it did feel like... First of all,

he's not qualified to be a story editor. No. No. And secondly, that show doesn't really need him. No. Like, even if he was,

like, they kind of had it handled. I feel like they are in such good hands. I know, I know. And I had heard him talking about how he was going to do that, and I'm maybe thinking

it actually did not come through, but now he feels like he has to say that he's still doing it. But I think he might have come out here to just do this. Well, it's like if they've really got Richie Incognito, give him the ball and let him run with it. I know. They don't need Tom sort of slowing him down. I know.

I know. So that's starting to fall apart, that idea. And then the 11 weeks must have just been when he could afford a ticket back. Yes, I think that he had to buy it that far in advance. Yeah, that's what I think as well. And I think he's, like the buy a week thing, I think he's catching the Bills plane. Yeah.

I think they play the Los Angeles Chargers, his favorite team the week before. And he's going to hope to get on the plane back to Buffalo, which is like kind of – and then he'll get back to New Jersey. Because he has a Bills jersey that's one of the items of clothing that he wears. Yeah. And I think he feels like he can probably just sort of slide into line with those players and get back on the plane if he sort of puts like eye black on.

So I think we got through that okay. He's a nice guy. Sweetheart. Total sweetheart. I am rooting for him. I just don't. I didn't want this to be. And even with having nobody else, I do think it's better.

It's better, yes, if it's between nobody as a guest and no guests or Kevin reading guests and Tom being the guest. I would say you want to go with nobody or you maybe don't even want to release this episode. Every time. Yeah, 100% of the time. And nice guy. We could have done that. I guess we could have had him here and then have Brett like spill something on the board.

Yeah, and then pretend. And ruin the board. If we bring in like a dummy board or like a fake board, and then we have it get just destroyed in front of him so that he stops asking. Yeah. Because he's a good kid. He's so nice. He's a really nice kid.

Yeah. And he sounds good. I'm glad he's doing so. Oh, he sounds great. He sounds great. Best I've heard him in a while. And a great kid. Colin sent me a note to give to you guys.

Okay. Should I read it? Yeah. It says, Oi, bruvs, 200 episodes, bloody hell. Congratulations, you cheeky bastards. I knew you had it in ya. I was telling me mates in the lift up to the pub,

Sean and Hayes aren't wankers, they're winners. Anywho, every milestone episode, I send the host a copy of their signed contracts just to remind them what the deal is. What does that mean? If we have to do, what is that saying? You're halfway through your two-year contract. So we have to do more? Yeah. Or what? You break your contract.

Ooh. Well, here's the problem for me. My word is oak. Mm-hmm. If I say I'm going to do 104 episodes. Yeah. And I've only done 52 of them. So this is what I was thinking, too. My word 104 episodes. Yeah. And I've only done 52 of them. So this is what I was thinking too.

My word is oak. Yes. Like if I make a promise that's forged in fire. Sorry. Do you mean okay? Oak is, no. Are you saying okay?

Oak is a powerful wood. Yeah. It's one of the strongest woods known to man. Isn't walnut? No. A promise made in oak is unbreakable.

I've never heard that. My word is the perfect baseball bet. My word is an oaken promise. Cork it. Yeah, that's what you would have to do. I actually can use my muscles to hit the home run. I'm freaking dinging taters. And hazes the tee.

He sets it up. I blast it over the center field wall. But for me... Try me. I jump over the center field wall, and I catch it. No, you can't. You can't jump this high. It's illegal.

Yeah, I climb the wall with my momentum. The wall's not built well. Your foot goes right through it. Yeah, and you hit it so far, now you're on the highway, and you get crushed. Yeah, and you're getting run over by a Peterbilt truck. And so for me, my promise is not even oak. It is the smithy is forging it from solid steel.

One thing, the freaking Peterbilt truck that runs you over, it's got one of those mud flaps that looks like a babe silhouette. It's got the balls hanging. No, I didn't say that. Oh. Truck nuts? Yeah. The smithy's forging yours out of solid steel?

The smithy is forging my promise, and he's sort of bringing it out with the tongs, and it's got sparks flying all over my promise. And he's hammering it to be this powerful weapon. That's so interesting because I hate to get into more Hollywood advice just as we're sort of ending

the show slash going to keep doing the show for a long time. Are people coming in after this? And I'm catching your home run right now. Are they? At what time? I'm still catching it. Technically one o'clock. Who is it? It's Spontanean Nation.

Oh, okay, great. Fuck them. So it's interesting for me because as you bring up the Smithy, it's like, well, why— Who's the guest? I'll look it up. So why is it—why is my word not sparks flying off it like we said, molten steel, red hot, shut up, shut up. I'm going to get through this.

Why is my word not that? And the reason is my word's oak already. And I have a different metaphor about a blacksmith that I like to use, sort of about the Japanese sword making technique or philosophy as folding the sword. And as I'm making this show and I'm making comedy, I keep folding the sword. What does that mean? Well, you heat the metal up until you're able to reveal the weak points in the steel.

For instance, maybe I heat up your promise. Your promise is a hot sword. I heat it up, and then I see, oh, this spot is weaker, and I fold the steel again until ultimately there is no weak point. And it's a solid rod of power that I can use to slay all the frowns in America. Yeah, the ogres become these sort of frowny faces of people who aren't laughing and aren't learning and having fun and listening to funny podcasts, cool and nice and fun and nice guys and smart. That's inspiring to me and it's making me feel like we could be contributing to what TJ

Miller is doing, basically. And just getting out there, being sort of America's court jester in a way that... Court joker. Yes. And just to issue a warning, I'd like to issue a warning to

the status quo. Status quo, if you're out there, I'd be very nervous. I'd be very uncomfortable with what we're talking about doing, which is we're talking about joining the ranks of TJ Miller and decimating you.

And operating alongside him and occasionally teaming up. Yeah, working alongside him and sometimes working directly in with him. Sort of doing a thing where we're holding his ankles. To annihilate normalcy. We're holding his ankles doing like a three-way cart

wheel and rolling together. Yeah, and the forces of boredom are being smashed. Mm-hmm. And so now that I'm actually really charged up and I'm inspired to do this for another year, and even though I do have to, I'm also doing it because it's my choice. Because I want to.

Because I want to and I'm choosing to, and we're going to keep making the show, and people can stop talking about how they're ready to say goodbye to it and just fuck right off and just listen to it or don't. Yeah, because that makes me not want to do it. But what makes me do want to do it is how good I am at it and how good it's going to be. And just seeing all the great guests we were able to get together for this show and how much people still want to show up and love it. Yes, after we get everyone's voices to come in here. I stitched this on.

It'll be like, what? Yes. Yes. And so it'll be like, okay. It'll be like, wow, you guys really cared about the show this much? I can't believe we got all this support from all the people that are our friends and also love our comedy and are our fans. You know, like the fans, like they really want us to keep going.

And they're not just writing off the show like it's already over. And this would be a spot, Brett, where we probably do risk using some music because we just want it to feel like, yeah, it's good. And I'll write something for that. I'll compose something. No, we want real music. No, it'll be pretty cool. Now we want actual music.

Maybe bring that song back. Bring the song back you were playing before and just kind of like gradually play it out. Yeah, my word. My word is the Neutron star. Brett, just play. My word is the fucking Neutron star, the densest in the universe. That's so, yeah. It's too far away.

That's too far away. That's way too far away to even be relevant here. That's too far away. The light from your word is going to take fucking thousands of years to reach us. We're talking about things that we see every day, which is like oak and smithies. Yes. Things that are actually useful and we can deal with and not something that's so far away. Swords and oak.

The two things that you literally touch every day of your life as just a citizen of society. Play the song, Brett. Okay. So we'll be like, you know what? If you guys want us to come back, and then part of what we'll get is everyone individually going, yeah! And then you'll combine it, and we'll say, yeah. Go ahead. Fuck you and boredom.

You're dead. Normalcy, the status quo, social mores, and even the law. Get out of our way because here comes funny jokes and information and learning and Hollywood stuff, which is part of what the show

is about, and guests, and me and Hayes. You thought you were going to play this song? You thought you were going to get rid of us? We're never going away. We're going to kill you. We're going to do this show for a thousand years and we don't like it anymore. And you're not going to like it anymore by the time we're done. Because we're going to be six feet under.

We'll be worm food. And hang on, Paul Tompkins. And hang on. And we'll keep doing it. And we probably still have to record ads, right? Sure. And deal with this. And one more thing.

Bye. Wait, what were you going to do? What were you going to do? I had a fucking shout. And one more thing, he said, and Kevin says. What about my pie? That's what I was going to say. You thought you weren't going to get any pies?

You actually got two. Oh. what I was going to say. You thought you weren't going to get any pies? You actually got two. I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow.

That was a HeadGum Podcast.