Hollywood Handbook - Fans, Our Close Fans

Episode Date: July 13, 2015

Hayes and Sean are forced to skip their great intro bit because they spent too long serving their fans at a Hudson News book signing for their new similar memoirs, "My Podcast Life." Fans Tim..., Anastasia, Adam, Valerie, and Joe appear on the show to have Hayes and Sean sign their books and discuss their favorite parts.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. I mean, the four of us were supposed to be recording from my tricked out Impala as sort of a gimmick to promote the West Side Connection getting back together. Yes. Sort of a reunion album thing. Of course. And they go, oh, well, he's filming something. And I'm like okay today and so i call his agent who's my agent you know grick yes and i say grick can i give you a little tip it's called a calendar and i hung up now i don't know if he knew what i meant but i know he knew i wasn't happy and that's what's important i know he knew you weren't happy because he called
Starting point is 00:01:14 me and he said sean just called me i think that his thumb was over the speaker part of the phone, but he sounded very upset. Which I noticed when you call people, you've been sorry. It's not even your thumb. You sort of wrap your whole fist around the bottom part to hold it. Yeah, that's how I hold it now. Because you otherwise will drop it. Well, I got real scared of dropping it, and I keep having these dreams where I drop my phone. And I think, is this somebody trying to tell me something from the future?
Starting point is 00:01:53 And so I'm holding it even tighter than ever now. And I wonder, not to be a Grick apologist, but I wonder if that's what was happening when you scheduled. If Grick didn't know that i had asked for ice because i had been holding my hand over the phone when i called him and i was holding the phone very far away over a pillow so that i it just in case i did drop it yeah that might have been what happened but at the same time it's like greek what do i pay you for hi welcome to Hollywood Handbook. I'm the insider's guide to King of the Rings. I'm the director of a black house in this industry called Chavez.
Starting point is 00:02:28 What up, what up? Sold for a million dollars. A million bucks is how, yes, I was going to say that number. We had all this stuff we wanted to do. Yes, we had such a good intro bit planned, and it was going to be a legend. We wanted to talk about about we have these interesting diets we've been trying. Yes, well,
Starting point is 00:02:49 and just briefly, it's a lot like paleo. It's really similar actually, but all you eat is car keys and vintage jacket buttons and you can have as much sauce as you want on it. For mine,
Starting point is 00:03:03 all kinds of delicious fruits, cucumber, melon, lavender, lime, all these things. Those are the flavors of hand soap that you can eat. As much as you want. And when I say sauce, it's no honey because you can't do that. But other than that, basically everything. Frank's Red Hot. If you ever heard the little lady say, I put that shit on everything, I just fucking lose it all the time about that.
Starting point is 00:03:31 And it's working so great, and I'm looking better than I've ever looked in my life, and I am feeling strange. And that's got to be a good thing. But we can't. We can't talk about any of this stuff. Can't go into it. We had our fans on the show this week, and like most fans, they were total time hogs,
Starting point is 00:03:53 which is just a kind of hog that eats exclusively time from a trough. The farmer dumps time into the trough, and suey, here come the hogs to eat up all the time that you have for your great show and so that just simply took too long and so what you get instead is presumably a pre-roll ad about two and a half minutes ago and now i guess two more ads will come now and then here come the hogs suey and they're munching and uh all the good apple cores that i wanted to save for my family are gone so coming up we have our fans they won a contest yeah or something some shit like that anyway hope you like it i didn't on hollywood hair book bye so at this point he's screaming at me and i go m c ren calm down it's just a co-ed naked t-shirt yeah of course we're you know it's just an
Starting point is 00:05:09 argument philosophy but he wanted it to say co-ed naked podcasting okay just open your mouth till it's over and i didn't want it to say anything. You just wanted it to say, Coed Naked nothing. I wanted to, white tees. Okay. Plain white tees. But it is a Coed Naked t-shirt? Yeah, well, the tag will say that it's Coed Naked. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Because that's a known brand, but I'm so rarely going to wear something with smut written on it. Mm-hmm. Do you feel that? Co-ed naked. I'm just trying to. What if it just says co-ed naked t-shirts?
Starting point is 00:05:52 Co-ed naked t-shirts. Put your head through it. Yeah, and your arms through the sides. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? Today, we want to talk about the book that Sean and I wrote. The book.
Starting point is 00:06:19 It is one book, but it is being published as two books. And one of them is by me, and the other one is by Sean. But the title is the same. My Podcast Life by Sean Clements or by Hayes Davenport. There's different cover photos, and then we've replaced the names of our children and significant others depending on which author you got. But all the other life details aren't the same. So it is a fun way to feel closer to
Starting point is 00:06:50 your favorite host or ideally you'll purchase both of them. Yes. It's presented in such a way that the image on Sean's cover and the image on my cover form something of the magic picture when you put them together where Sean and i are
Starting point is 00:07:05 touching in a way that you sort of have to buy both books yes it will be nice for you it's uh equivalent to a mad fold-in but um uh you don't fold anything you just buy two books and you shove them rest them against each other and you can angle them you do, if you sort of bash them against each other, it'll create an image that will be even more satisfying than if they're just kind of resting alone. If you make them sort of collide with each other.
Starting point is 00:07:35 You can have your buddy stand and you can throw one across the room and try to make it land right up against it in the way that we're talking. And that'll really feel like Hayes and I are meeting physically in a way that I think that you will be able to enjoy on a few levels. So my podcast life is a story of a man who decided to tell his story in a way that no one had ever done so.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And that story was secrets about work and his job and going and doing therapy and confessionals. And he happened to have some middlingly successful comedy friends. And so he brought them on and they also were in therapy. Yes, there and there as well. And so it was a fresh new way to see the world. Do we want to read a few excerpts? Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:08:35 I would love to read some excerpts. Okay. Would you like to? Do you want me to do the first one? I'm happy to do the first one. Oh, well, why don't you do the first one? Okay. The big yellow bus pulled up outside my house at Disney World at the time.
Starting point is 00:08:55 I could feel Jordan's palm getting sweaty in my own. And I said, don't be scared. They're going to love you. Just be exactly who you are when you're with me. And I bent down and I gave her a big kiss on the lips and another one and another one. And I watched her. I watched her walk onto the bus real slow. walk onto the bus real slow. Five years later, I turn on the television and they're announcing
Starting point is 00:09:35 the winner of American Idol, Jordan Sparks, youngest of all time at 17 years old. And that was the Jordan from the story from before. Wow, what a powerful excerpt. And I remember that it's my story too that that happened. And feeling the warmth of those kisses in the pages really brings me somewhere.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Yeah, do your excerpt? Absolutely, yes. pages really brings me somewhere. Yeah, do your excerpt? Absolutely, yes. Is it the same exact excerpt? Well, they're probably sub-changes. Mm-hmm. Okay. The big green bus pulled up outside my house, which was at Universal Studios Florida at the time,
Starting point is 00:10:24 the theme part. I'm nervous, said Jordan. Don't be. You're going to do great. Just be exactly who you are when you're with me, Sean. I gave her a big kissy and then another bigger kissy. And then I watched her walk onto the bus slowly. Six and a half years later, I watched on the television as they announced the winner of American Idol, Jordan Sparkles. And she was very young.
Starting point is 00:11:02 So you see how it can be fun to compare and contrast these books. I just think it's going to be a great thing to have both of them because they're both collector's items too because we didn't make very many. And I did a hand-drawn magic eye in one of them. That's something that I'm starting to develop. And I did a cube. I'm learning to draw 3D shapes.
Starting point is 00:11:28 And it's flat on the paper, but the way you do the diagonals makes it have depth. I did an S, a super S, which I think is from Mossimo, who's what originated it. It's an interesting new way of doing an S. I think you'll enjoy it if you buy the book. Oh, that's sick.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Yeah, I just did some bubble letters and just wrote words I think are cool. Rad flavor beans. So in the interest of fan service, we had our pre-order competition where certain fans of ours could pre-order the book and listen to us. This is a book reading right now that we're doing, actually, and listen to us read some excerpts from the book. Yeah, some of their favorite pieces of the book they get to actually hear in our voice. So we've got some fans in,
Starting point is 00:12:27 and they're going to just chime in and ask us to make out our autographs. Yes, and we've got the table set up. I should have said, we're at Hudson News. We're set up at a Hudson News. In an airport. In an airport, and we've all bought tickets. You have to buy tickets, of course. Airplane tickets.
Starting point is 00:12:46 And tickets to the reading. Yes. And tickets to the reading as well. So, yes. Once you get in with the airplane ticket, then you can go and get in line to buy a ticket to the reading. And all these people did that. And so, I guess without further ado, let's talk a little more. Just me and you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:06 What was going on for you this week? Blue Chips has been playing on VH1. Haven't caught it, but I know it's on there, so I keep checking in when I'm home. It's been distracting you, right? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:24 So, I think it's going to play again 10 a.m. Sunday. Mm-hmm. So I got my eye on that one. See, that's because I know Steffi's out of town these last few days. Yeah. So I was curious what you had gotten up to. Catching fire.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Hunger Game 2. Catching fire. Hunger Game 2. Hunger Game 2 watched and uh that one's catching fire not as good as the first one still good um what else postmates you try that yet yes i like how they don't just have the one fee. I'm sick of these delivery services that only have the single fee. Thank you. I like how there's the delivery fee from the restaurant. Delivery fee.
Starting point is 00:14:15 The Postmates. The Postmates fee, delivery fee. Gas. Gas. And then tip. Yes, non-optional tip. And then tip. And then the optional tip. Yes. Non-optional tip. And then tip. And then the optional tip.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Yes. So I think that's really nice. And I had been used to, like last night I ate some sushi. I had been used to paying maybe 20 bucks for this meal. Maybe 25. But last night it gave me the opportunity to pay $62 for a meal that I eat frequently for less than half that. Yes. And what you get for that is you can eat it in an hour and 45 minutes after you decide.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Hour and 45 minutes after I decide I was hungry. And a stranger has my credit card info and my address. So I am loving this service. And if you're not on Postmates, get in there. It's people who could not qualify to be Uber drivers because those restrictions are slightly more rigorous. So that's who's doing it. There's someone standing here, I guess.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Who wants a book signed? signed yeah you want to design your book hey sean hi what's your name hi hayes i'm tim trees tim tim yes from driving so far to see us several times yes yes that's right timmy i love driving yes It was fun to come to LAX for this And you sang the big song at our last show That was sweet The popcorn Yes Yeah, no, not now
Starting point is 00:15:55 But do you hear how I'm saying Timmy like in South Park When they would make fun of the mentally challenged boy Yes And isn't that humorous? Would you care to speak on that? Would you like that to be what you talk about with me? Oh, cool. Can you do it again?
Starting point is 00:16:12 To me. I like that. Great. Can I have my friends do that now? Yes. Your friends should all do that. And do it online and do it in the streets. So what did you think of the book? What's your favorite part? I really loved the book. Sean, I loved the story about how you sort of tricked
Starting point is 00:16:34 your way into passing your last final in college. Yes. Well, I didn't have time to study, what with my romantic life being a little out of control at that time. And I also was, I was smart, you know? I mean, I am smart, but not school smart, not in that traditional. Reading smart. I love knowledge, you know, but I wanted to get it from the world if I could. And now it's interesting. I'm almost more of an academic in my later life because I do love to search out what I find interesting and read a science book or a book about dog breeds. And that is something that I've chosen. But when they were trying to
Starting point is 00:17:19 assign me what books I'm going to do, I was all like, eh, later for you, Holmes. And I'd give him the fucking stink eye on my way out the door. And then I'd give him the stink finger. On your way back in. On my way back in to grab my bag. So, like, yeah. Um, so anyway, I wound up, uh, doing a sneaky finals exam. I'm glad you liked that part. Hayes, do you want to read that part from your book? Yes, sure. I sat in the, in the final seat looking around. No one seemed to suspect anything. I took out my desktop computer
Starting point is 00:18:09 and rested it on my lap and covered the speaker so the boot-up sound would be marginally quieter. After downloading the internet, I typed into the white rectangle, write me an essay about this book. Four hours later, everyone had gone home which meant that I had won
Starting point is 00:18:49 the finals yes the last man standing in the finals is the winner and what a powerful story and it was a great experience for both of us individually so you want this signed?
Starting point is 00:19:07 Yeah, what do you want it to say? Do you have a pen? Yeah, I brought like a Sharpie. Does it make sense for you to sign this one, Hayes? This is my book. Yes. Could you sign them to each other? Hmm.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Okay. That's interesting. Dear Hayes, I am writing you inside this book. It has been many years since I last wrote you a letter like this, but the time has come for me to open up my pen. Just a little joke. Dear Sean, I received your letter. Ha ha.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Very nice joke. I hope your family is nice. I love getting this. Thanks for enjoying our book from Hayes. Wow, thanks, guys. Thank you, Tim and Therese. I'm going to put these on my desk. Oh, good.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Okay, can we get a new person in the seat? Hi, guys. Please. Hello, what's your name? My name's Anastasia. He was about to call you something. Little one. Anastasia?
Starting point is 00:20:30 Yeah. Anastasia? That's right. Yeah, Anastasia. And you and Tim drive together sometimes, long distances. Yeah, Tim drove me down here, actually. To watch us do shows, and I guess to watch us do this record. Right.
Starting point is 00:20:44 And you have a husband. I do, yes. And he has to drive in a separate car? Yes, he drove separately down here. Does he like that? He loves it. Yeah, he likes to air guitar and play loud music while he drives. Oh, shouldn't do that.
Starting point is 00:21:05 It better be a Google car. I guitar driving. Shouldn't do that. It better be a Google car. I know it's not because that's what Tim has. Can I, wait. Tim, can you join us on the microphone real quick? You still work at Google, correct? Yeah, I haven't gotten fired yet. They have that 20% time policy where you can do whatever you want in your free time? In 20% of your time?
Starting point is 00:21:29 Yes, we have it. I think when they find out about you, that's the end of that policy. My 20% is coming down to LA? Just all the stuff that I know you do, just like posting on our forums and things, the end of the policy. And if anyone's equipped to find out about this thing that you're doing, it's the company that you work for that knows everything on the internet. Yeah, Steve Jobs. Okay. You can go back to the end of the line.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Thank you. Now, Anastasia. Yes. What did you think of the book? I thought it was you. Now, Anastasia. Yes. What did you think of the book? I thought it was great. I actually bought both copies. I'm so excited to put them on my shelf. Have you made them be friends yet?
Starting point is 00:22:14 I've done some interesting things with them. They're kind of into bondage right now. That's why this belt's around them. Hmm. That's not what it was originally intended for. But seeing it like that, that's okay. It's a nice belt.
Starting point is 00:22:32 What's your favorite part of the book? My favorite part was when you were a PA on your first movie and they promoted you to director within a week. And star, yeah. Oh, you said within a week.
Starting point is 00:22:47 No, I got made director after week one. And then after week two, I got made the star. And they had me write it after week three. Yeah, that was thrilling, of course. It was a whirlwind. Was it the Spin City movie? Yes. It was when we finally took that story where it was meant to go,
Starting point is 00:23:09 which was one two-hour and 45-minute block. Because you always felt during Spin City that they were truncating a lot of what was happening. And Bostwick never got to go off. So what I did is I got Bostwick, Boatman, Ruck, and Britton all in one room. And I said, babies, let's make magic. And they said, you're just the PA. This was early on in the process. Well, I fired their ass when I got made director, I'll tell you what.
Starting point is 00:23:43 And then I brought in the real Spin City cast. Sean White. Sean White, Jeff Dunham, and Elian Gonzalez. He's sort of in your repertory. Yes, well, I try to use him in everything. Because it's the same universe. Yes, I try to use him in as much as possible. And of course, Oscar
Starting point is 00:24:07 Pistorius, the Blade Runner. So, when I got those guys together, they started riffing off my shit, which was less about a political office and more about building a canoe
Starting point is 00:24:23 with a motor. Well, let me tell and more about building a canoe with a motor? Mm-hmm. Well, let me tell you, buddy, that's movies. Of course, look who I'm telling. You have the same exact story. Yes, I do. What happened with yours? I was a PA.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Actually, on the Caroline in the City movie. Mm. And that movie either starred Brooke Shields, who was my wife at the time, Mm-hmm. or possibly somebody else. Leah Thompson?
Starting point is 00:24:56 Yes. Mm-hmm. And Brooke Shields was, of course, Suddenly Susan? in her own Veronica's closet. Suddenly Susan? Okay. Uh... of course in her own Veronica's closet suddenly see you okay so it turned out I had married
Starting point is 00:25:10 the wrong person person who I thought was my wife I thought was the star of Veronica's closet it was actually Christiane Wallace Langham Wallace? Wallace Langham.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Yes, Wallace Langham. Dan Cortez? Who was Leah Thompson. Yeah, Leah Thompson. I thought she was the star of Veronica's Closet. She was actually the star of Caroline in the City. And the person I had married was the star of a third show. The name of which escapes me now.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Lucky break for that Dell on Caroline in the City because he's such a dullard. If she had married you, then he'd be in trouble. That's a good callback to our Alex Anfanger episode that real true fans will enjoy. Oh, yes. What do you mean? We just did a lot of work with the word Dell to little reward in that episode.
Starting point is 00:26:10 And I'm glad to see it finally pay off. Such big dividends. Do you have a pen, sweetie? Yeah, I have this ballpoint here. Felt tip. I don't know. We use felt tip. Do you have a felt tip?
Starting point is 00:26:30 Tim, can I borrow your felt tip? I've got gel pens if you want to use those. Well, we used your felt tip to sign your book. So are you saying no by pitching the gel? Well, that's the one that I'm going to mount with the books. That's fair. Well, thanks for bringing the books by, Anastasia. I will say, Engineer Cody's poison oak is still leaking a little bit.
Starting point is 00:26:57 If we could... It just keeps... The more itch it, the more itchy it becomes. And I can't stop here. the more itchy it becomes. And I can't stop here. It might be that all this happened for a reason to you, which is that we could use your sore leakage as ink.
Starting point is 00:27:18 You think? Please, Cody. All right, let me just puss some out for you. What a great motion you did to show that you were doing that. Okay, who do you want us to make it out to? Me, Anastasia. Okay. Anastasia, I mean. Selfish.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Dear Paul, we're sorry for splitting your household in two. I'll sign that, too. Okay, thanks for coming by. Thanks, Anastasia. Thanks, guys. Bye, kid. And who's next?
Starting point is 00:28:00 Hi, my name's Adam. Hi, Adam. Adam. That's right. Not really a catchy name. Well, I said three words on one of your Colin shows once. It's probably what you know. But who's counting?
Starting point is 00:28:12 What were those words? Thank you, that's true. That's four. Nice joke. But who's counting? And you live in Los Angeles, is that correct? Yeah. Sort of a cheap fandom.
Starting point is 00:28:28 You know? Showing up to the place where you already live. How'd you get down here? How'd you find the time? This motherfucker's drove a day and a half or something. I know. Probably why you didn't feel the need to bring a gift to us, because it's not a special occasion for you.
Starting point is 00:28:46 We're in your backyard. Yes. Yes. Anastasia, you did bring us chocolates. Yes. And let's continue the tradition of bringing back the last person shortly after they leave. I brought you some chocolates from San Francisco. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:00 And to hear that, wouldn't you think... Ghirardelli. Ghirardelli chocolates coming to mind. The smell of the Ghirardelli factory when you're on that beach. Mmm. And instead we get... Cho. T-C-H-O.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Now where I come from, that's not chocolate, that's a sneeze. What do you say about that? They're better than Ghirardelli. Impossible. And they're different colors, also trying to be like Ghirardelli as well. I like dark chocolate. So, Adam, you're here. Go to the end of the line.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Deal with it. Get back there. Yeah, I actually have both of your books, too. I bought one, and then I got another one as a gift. Congratulations. Well, what did you like about the book? Well, I guess the chapter titled Game Changer was probably my favorite. Yeah, the Julianne Moore movie.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Remember Sarah Palin said she could see Russia? Yeah That should be a movie Well, that's what we said She reads all the newspapers? Yeah, right Please, no way It'd be too heavy What a fucking asshole
Starting point is 00:30:21 Well, anyway, now that she lost We felt comfortable cutting her down to size. For a while, it sort of looked like she might win. A bit touch and go, yeah. She was gaining a lot of steam, and so we did kind of keep our hands off it. In which case, we'd have to do a movie about whoever the other vice president is. Whatever, yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:43 But this wound up being great for us because once she was officially at the bottom uh we started swinging and um yeah it was a good chapter um but not the best one i feel like you picked wrong so who am i making this out to just adam i can't do that can i spell it crazy at least? Yeah, I mean, that's up to you. I'll appreciate it either way. Okay. I'm going to spell it like Batman.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Okay. I do have two. You can just make the other one out to another hopeful. I'm going to do this. Duh, duh, duh, duh. Snap, snap. And that's me writing out the Addams Family song. You'll get it on the way home. Thank you so much, guys.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Okay. Do you have a pen? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've got a Bic, if that's okay. High school football coach used to call me Bic. Somebody named Hayes Bickford. Who I guess was his friend.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Oh, yeah. And I reminded him of his friend Hayes Bickford. Because I could hike the ball so far. Hike it all the way. Through the uprights. From the... Other one. Wow.
Starting point is 00:32:17 That's a big hike. I'm surprised the chapter game changer wasn't about that. They had to change the rules. Yeah, no more hiking from one upright to the other. Mm-hmm. Unfair advantage. Mm-hmm. They tried to make me use my foot, which I could not do.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I was wearing air walks, which are not good for kicking. Better for grinding rails. Yeah, or soaps. I was wearing soaps. And so what I would do is jump onto the ball and slide off of it, which looked fucking badass. But points-wise, football-wise, you don't get that many points. And it does cost you a down.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yes, yes. And in my case, it cost you a few ankle pieces. Some of my best pieces of my ankle. I had to give up. Luckily, I just made the muscles around that area big. So it looks like we got one other person in line at least. Why don't you get up here, and thanks for buying the ticket to the airport and the ticket to the thing, and what's your name, lady?
Starting point is 00:33:42 My name's Valerie Bryant. Veebs. Yes, thanks. Go buy Veebs. ticket to the thing and what's your name lady my name's valerie bryant veebs yes thanks go by veebs you're from i see in your name tag stockton california yes no headphones for you huh raw dogging it stockton california yes Now that city has money or? There was a bankruptcy episode. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Might be thinking of. The opposite thing. Yes, that's who I go to for my news. Morgan Spurlock. I love Spurlock. I love Spurlock. The stuff he's doing is so important. Eating McDonald's. Which I thought for a while was healthy.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Oh, yes. Well, little kids like it, so I thought it must be good for me. Because as a child, you haven't been influenced by brands and commercialism as much. You're just going off what your body tells you. And so I thought, oh, well, it must be healthy, and I should eat it every meal every day. I believed in that movie that his girlfriend was really pissed off about what he was doing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:56 You're making this big movie that's going to make us a bunch of money? Stop it! You better not do that. I'm angry about that. If she was okay with the handlebar mustache, then she was okay with the movie, you know? That's what I say. Now, Veebs, what did you like about the book? And you better prove you read it.
Starting point is 00:35:19 I like when you talked about going to therapy as a child because your dad threatened to give your cat away? That's some raw emotional stuff. Well, she read it all right. And that's the last chapter in the book. She must have read the whole thing. We talk all about our podcast then we just double back.
Starting point is 00:35:45 It's hard. You can't see who you're looking at when you tell the story and so how I went to childhood therapy because your dad Sean threatened to give my cat away
Starting point is 00:35:58 yes to himself yes which he could do my cat uh at the time would not be held by everybody's name was uh mjolnir which is thor's hammer which was because only certain people could pick him up without being killed yes and your father you know through his police experience I think was able to negotiate with my cat
Starting point is 00:36:30 to have him do very nice huggies with him and later that inspired the negotiator Spacey Jackson top of their game and then Spacey, best negotiator in the world can't get his daughter to come out of the bathroom. She's sitting there brushing her teeth too long. And so moments like that from my household a lot of times would inspire the book stuff.
Starting point is 00:36:57 But should we read a very quick excerpt just from that therapy? Sure. Yeah, go ahead. I'll read the therapist. Hayes? Yeah. It's not your fault. I know.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Oh, good. I was worried I was going to have to say it multiple times. I was nervous, honestly. I was like, oh, I was going to have to say it multiple times. I was nervous, honestly. I was like, oh, I'm going to have to keep telling him. But you already know? Yes. Okay, great. That was my main thing.
Starting point is 00:37:34 I had blocked out most of this session to do that. Just say that. So is there anything else going on for you? And then it says, the end. But it says, Hayes, colon, the end. And that is the end of the book. I don't remember doing that. Doing what?
Starting point is 00:38:00 Putting that as the ending? Well, when we exchanged books with Tim Russert, so we would write his books and he would write ours, it just makes me feel like he did it very quickly. Oh. That it would just end so abruptly like that. I think it sets it up for a sequel in a cool way. Well, Hazeman, it's 2.04.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Yeah. Yeah. Should we meet Veebs' boyfriend or something? Yeah. Isn't that the time where we usually meet Veebs' boyfriend? Wait, did we sign your book? No. Okay, good.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Okay. Okay, okay. Veebs' guy. Hey, guys. Hey, man. So, so sorry. We're all set a guy. Hey, guys. Hey, man. So, so sorry. We're all set with talking to people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:49 So thanks for coming by. You can have some of this stuff from like your town, like the town stuff that applies to you too, like Stockton, because you're from the same town. So that was something you guys can share when you talk about it on the way home. Both of you. So, okay. So this was awesome, dude.
Starting point is 00:39:05 So fucking kick-ass to meet you. You're probably, I think he was the best dude. So let's... Rate us on iTunes. Get on those iTunes. And get on the forums, and you can hang out with these people. This could have been you, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:22 The best advertisement for the forums, I think, that we could do. Reddit. Get in there. Mix it up with those fucking jokers. And don't forget, like us on Facebook. We're getting big numbers on there. The pro version, Joe McGirl's birthday was, by the time this episode airs, a very long time ago.
Starting point is 00:39:47 And so I think this is for his birthday for next year is the pro version. Okay, next year, happy birthday. And what you get is, I don't know. It should be enough on its own. We just said it. We said that it was. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Hollywood Handbook is brought to you by Wolf Cool Productions, a subsidiary of Calvin and Hobbes. Oh, baby.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.