Hollywood Handbook - Gabe Delahaye, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: August 8, 2016

Hayes and Sean discuss which guys they like to root for in the Olympics. Then GABE DELAHAYE arrives to plug the website Videogum and help Sean and Hayes understand some of Internet technology.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Walking with Jughead Jones, tossing a hamburger sandwich into the air, he's catching him like a seal. I'm trying to lead him to the dump to help me pick up those big geodes I saw there. Somebody threw out an amazing geode. Heathcliff's dump? Yeah. And Mongo's there? Yeah, Mongo's there too. They don't figure into this

at all. Mongo would maybe want one in a hamburger sandwich. Well, we don't we never actually get to the dump. Oh, no. So, oh, go ahead then. My bad.

So all that is secondary. What is Mungo? Mungo? Yeah. What, a Heathcliff friend? I mean, he'd rather have fish bones, but he would eat a hamburger sandwich because he's such a big fat cat.

Taking more and more hamburger sandwiches to get Jughead to be attracted to you know to to join me and so at one point he's like give me six six at once throw them all up in the air I toss the six sandwiches he sneezes and with his big honking beezer, you know, the beezer of his. Uh-huh, the honking one. He spears the six hamburger sandwiches. So now his nose is effectively six burgers. Jughead question, and I hate to get you off track because I know you want to finish the story.

What's he the king of? It's not burgers because that's somebody else. Right. There's already a burgers king. But he's wearing like a crown, right? Yes, I know. That's why I'm trying to help you figure it out. He's wearing a gray crown.

How did he earn that? It has a red circle and a white rectangle on it. Is it a Japanese crown and it's like a separated flag? He's king of Japan? Because the flag does have those two parts. Here's what maybe happened to Jughead Jones. He's the prince of Japan. Gets a crown, moves to America in order to rebel against his father, the king, who won't eat sushi.

Oh, yeah. He eats the most American food he can find, the hamburger sandwich. And that's sort of his form of rebellion. Uh-huh. And what's more, he spears them with his honking beezer back to you so where we left off his nose had become a stack of burgers i'm saying let me burger kebab let me remove the burgers and he said oh no my birds like don't mess with the burgers like i don't want him to he doesn't want them to be like torn up or something by coming up don't mess with the burgers. Like, I don't want them to. He doesn't want them to be, like, torn up or something by coming off his nest.

Don't put your beezer through them. So he's trying to, like, sort of unhinge his lower jaw to, like, come up and snap at the burgers. It's not really working because they're lodged. They're lodged on there. And Veronica comes up, and she's like, somebody say my, because her name is Veronica Lodge. And it's like, Veronica, I love it. I love it. I love it. Not the it. I love it.

Not the time. That's great. Not the time. I'm dealing with this burger nose over here. I mean, to be fair, like, there's not really a better time, because you wouldn't necessarily say Lodge another time. Except you did say Roger Lodge the other day. So, of course, we're just standing around trying to figure out what to do.

And, you know, Jughead's sort of trying to eat his own nose. And Moose Mason saunters out. Uh-oh. And he's like, hey, what's this? You trying to make a play for my midge? And it's like, we're like, what are you, like, midge isn't even here. But she was there. She was kind of behind me the whole time.

Dom's dog? Is that, oh, is Mo whole time. Dom's dog? Is that... Oh, is Moose Mason dating Dom's dog? Yeah, Dom McDirkus has a dog named Midge. And that's Moose's girlfriend? Widdle Midgey, yeah. Oh, wow. She's older.

Than Moose? Yeah, he's dating an older woman. Hashtag senior dog. So Moose is, you know, not the smartest guy, but he knows how to hurt people. He's very smart about knowing how to hurt you. And so he says, what can I do to hurt Jughead? I guess he thought that Jughead was making a play for Midge

by the metaphor of spearing the burger. It was like that he was going to spear Midge's six burgers. Well, also, if Midge had come up at that time, she would absolutely be kissing Jughead on the mouth because she'd be trying to eat the burgers off his beezer. She'd be licking his beezer. Work her way all the way down and be licking the beezer and licking it up. So that's what Moose says. He says, oh, so you want somebody to lick your beezer, huh? Well, like, let's feast, he says.

And then he does start going to town on Jughead's nose. Jughead's crying because he wanted the burger so bad. Uh-huh. But Moose is just making a sloppy dinner out of the burgers. Gracious me. Hurting Jughead where it hurts the most, which is eating all his burgers. His burgers. Yeah.

Right in the burger. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. It's got the kicking butt and dropping names of the red carpet linebackers in the industry we call showbiz. What up? What up? Jumping and shooting the ball.

Throw it and fall down and go splash. Lacrosse and it's the Olympics. And you know what we're talking about. It's the Olympics and playing cornhole. Yeah. Bocce man. Oh, we get so excited. We're always talking about the game.

Olympics and now that it's finally here, now let's really do Olympics on the show. And the first thing I just want to say is it's not about the medals. No, no, no, sweetie. Oh, sweetie. Oh, you poor thing. Oh, you like your medal. Oh, you think it's the medals? Oh, I don't like that.

gets to the medals. I don't like that. This hip-hop culture of buying has really infected our Olympics fever in a way where the medals are truly a bad look and just not a good look. You're a hot mess in those medals, sweetie.

It shouldn't be about the medals. What it should be about is jumping, throwing, shooting an arrow, splashing, smashing, doing a flip, medals and what it should be about is jumping throwing shooting an arrow splashing smashing doing a flip crunching slamming dodging dunking beeping sweeping sloping sleeping after all that well you're gonna're going to need a nap, buddy. You worked hard. And it's also not about,

people don't understand countries. Countries are just funny lines. Somebody with a big pen made. And people are like, oh, now this is my favorite place oh yeah the pen line goes here so i want this guy to win yeah it's fake it's fake what if he's standing on what if he's standing on the other side now you don't like him anymore no forget it let's imagine that's the bad kind of rando rando humor i like but rando pen lines that make you cheer against a

supreme athlete oh please honey that's not a good look sweetie so the different guys that we like to support and love to win are not necessarily the ones from united states no uh we like just the different guy there like just the different guys. We like the different guys for different reasons. Who do you like to support? Well, look, I don't love to admit this, but I always like to root for guys who remind me of me. So if I see a big ripped black dude, that's probably going to be who I want to win. Because inside that's what I feel like is a really strong guy of African descent.

Yeah. And the musculature of some of these guys makes me feel like I'm looking in a mirror. It makes me feel like I'm looking in a mirror, and the skin tone of them makes me feel like it's kind of an alternate world version of me that lets me have a fantasy of being that. I like Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds, who they had to make a special gay javelin for. Yeah, that's true, because he was so floppy. He ran in such a unique way because of his sexuality that I want to say Poindexter, one of them built him a special javelin that would make a good noise as it went through the air and it would go farther than the other guys. Of course, now he's in the Olympics, still using the special javelin

because nobody really wants to tell him that he's not allowed to. And so I support him. I want him to win the javelin. I'm also supporting that little shimmying running jumper. You remember? Before the run, she does a little shimmy dance. Whoa. You know?

You remember? Yeah. You remember? You're thinking of Morgana the kissing bandit. No. She does run. Kiss George Brett, I think. She does run out there, and I guess she knows how to do a little shimmy.

I'm talking about the one who runs over the jumps, and before the run, she does a special dance, and she goes viral. Okay, well, that's good, but I'm rooting for... I'm not going to root for Mikayla. She's not impressed, and I'm rooting for, I'm not going to root for Michaela. She's not impressed and I'm not impressed now. I am rooting for somebody we all hope wins and it's maybe not the most popular vote. A lot of people are going for B-Rabbit, but I hope Lickety Split pulls this one out. I just think that he's been in Papa Doc's shadow for too long and Lickety Split actually has the sickest flow. Sure, Lotto is the man who physically I most resemble. T-shirt screaming

Lotto, I don't fit you. But Lickety Split probably has the most natural rhyme scheme and just effortless lyrical dynamism out of anyone in the whole crew. And so I am hoping that he does best B-Rabbit in the Rap Olympics. Isn't he Free World? He's Free World, sure. But didn't he go to Cranbrook? No, no, no. That's Papa Doc. Oh. Clarence. But then how did I? But didn't he go to Cranbrook? No, no, no. That's Papa Doc.

Oh. Clarence. But then how did I? He went to Cranbrook. That's a private school. That's a private school, but I thought that's how they knew each other. And Clarence has real nice parents. No, Clarence is claiming to be sort of from the wrong side of 8 Mile when actually he went to Cranbrook.

That's a private school. And he's friends with Lotto and Lickety Split. I don't think they all went to Cranbrook. I think that's dirt he's got just on Clarence. Lickety Split, I think, is a legit G. I do want Penelope Pitstop to win the... The Splickity Split Lickety. To win the race.

I want her to finally beat Muttley. Yeah. I want to see Muttley ruin. I want to see him injured and out of the wacky races forever. I never root for injury. I despise Muttley. I never root for injury. Muttley is a sore winner. He has the laugh.

Act like you've been there before. He has a nefarious laugh, which is a technique to frustrate people. It's much like when they were angry that Monica Selly's grounded so loud when she would hit the ball that you couldn't hear the spin coming off of it. Yeah. And people were saying it was just a tactic, but that's the way she plays the game. And you got to put it out of your head.

And if somebody wants to do cheap tactics, whether that's what she was doing, I'm not saying it. You know, that's why anything happened. I'm just saying that if somebody wants to play that way, you got to rise above it. And I think Ligety Split would be able to do that. And of course, in the strongman competition, I am rooting for Will Ferrell's version of Janet Reno.

He got the boxy dress on, he got the glasses, and he's doing the Frankenstein dance. And I think that this year he's going to be able to lift all the weights and smash everybody. I'm running for Heisenberg from Breaking Bad. To do what? He's. To win the cooking competition.

No, he can't show up to the Olympics because they'd capture him. Well, no. What if he did like, remember when Robin Hood in an animated movie dressed like a stork so he could win the archery contest? Because he's a fox, but movie dressed like a stork so he could win the archery contest? Because he's a fox, but he dressed like a stork and pretended to be that. And then he win the archery contest. You heard Heisenberg is going to do that? I heard Heisenberg might dress up maybe not necessarily as a stork, but maybe as like an egret or something.

Oh, to win the competition. To win the whole competition. And then maybe the tent that the King's on goes running around all crazy. And they go, who's driving this crazy umbrella? So, I mean, that's my Olympics picks. Yeah, so let us know how to watch it.

Yeah, please somebody email Engineer Sam. It's engineersam.com at Engineer Sam's friend's house because he's crashing there for a little bit until he gets back on his feet. And please email him. And what do you need to know? Like what pieces of information, Engineer Sam, are you missing in terms of how to watch the Olympics?

Because usually my cousin Sam is who shows us how to watch things, and he's been MIA a little bit. Just let me know channel, time, TV type, TV size. Yeah, which channel goes with which TV type? Yeah. Yeah. We've been having trouble matching the channel to the tv type it seems like you know anytime we get one right the other one's wrong

volume volume okay and let them know where all that stuff is and tell them where the remote is sam looks at his tv and he says uh samsung sung what no No, I didn't. Oh, yeah. Please solve for me. Yeah, what did he sung? It's a whole long. He sees LG, and he goes, ooh, life's good. And then the other thing is, Hayes and I will be selecting what we watch on TV and suggesting otherwise is not even remotely funny. So don't touch our remote.

But tell Sam where the remote is. He has to operate it. That's your friend's house rules. Yeah, that's your friend's house rules. So I can't wait to see all the Olympics, and I hope nobody drowned this year, and I hope that the winners all realize that the medals

are kind of a bad look, sweetie. And Gabe's in the house on Hollywood Handbook. Hollywood Handbook. So, I'm smoking speedballs with Geddy Watanabe and Melissa Gilbert.

Okay, okay, yes. And we're getting pretty tweaked out, fucked up, shooting through the ceiling. It says my name, sorry. Oh, yeah. It's fun. In a song? Yeah my name. Sorry. Oh, yeah. It's fun. In a song? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, speaking of songs, we're doing this to try to come up with an idea for a song. Because we have the big show to try to raise enough money to keep the school open. And if we don't play a rocking tune... Who's school? They'll shut us down. Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youth. And if we don't play a rocking tune, they'll shut us down. Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youth. So I, of course, have a big investment in this just because I don't want Wolverine to beat me up.

So I take a monster hit. The school is the only thing stopping it. The fact that he has homework and stuff to do is the only thing that's stopping him from beating you up. Because he's mad at like homework instruction. Yes. Yeah. It's the only thing that's stopping him from beating you up. Because he's mad at me. He says that. Yeah. He tells me all the time. He calls me in the middle of the night. If I didn't have so much school, I'd be over there right now.

He goes, if I didn't have a huge test tomorrow that I'm cramming for. Hammering your ass. I would be hammering your ass. It's always in those words. So I take a monster hit, almost pass out, and Getty goes, you're taking too much. And I go, nobody tells me I'm taking too much, Getty. And I double down and I take another hit,

try to ghost it. And I black out, go to outer space. When I come back to, I look around and I go, guys, we're the song. You know, like we're here trying to write the song. Yeah. But the song was always in us. Mm-hmm. You know?

And what was the song? It was like an Uncle Cracker song. It was, what Uncle Cracker song. Follow me. Yeah. Yeah. Follow me. Probably. But then we did the chorus from Put Your Picture Away.

Which was Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Just because they seem like friends. The songs seem like friends. Yes. But we did it, raised a bunch of money. Cyclops gave a really touching speech.

And we were able to keep the school open. And so as you can see, I did not get my ass hammered by Logan the Wolverine. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names on the red carpet. I'm Matt Colwis of the industry. We call showbiz. We call showbiz. It's what up, what up.

We do the second part of the show. We do the guest part. The second part has the guest. Gabe. You're, yes, you're here. We're here with Gabe Delahaye. And we have done the first part of the show. You've already heard it.

So we're in the second part and Gabe's here for it. Gabe hasn't heard it. Gabe doesn't even know what he's coming off of. So we might be referencing that. He's going to be looking around like, huh? Talk about that, Gabe. Yeah, no, I'm definitely at a loss for what the first half was. Yeah.

I'm very excited for the second half. Any guesses? Yeah, any guesses? This could be a loss for what the first half was. Yeah. I'm very excited for the second half. Any guesses? Yeah, any guesses? This could be fun. Of what the first half was? Yeah, what do you think we covered? You guys talked. Suicide Squad?

Wow, okay. That would have been really good. That was definitely on the table. That was on the table. Here was my feeling. That's definitely what people might have wanted. Definitely some people tweeted at us that they wanted that, and definitely Hayes wanted to do that.

Did you guys talk about... I thought we'd done it too much, and it's also almost played out. Yeah. Except, the only thing I haven't, and I have not been reading or following too much about it, have people talked about how many Academy Awards the Suicide Squad has?

Because it's pretty good. Multiple Academy Award winners People talked about how many Academy Awards the Suicide Squad has because it's pretty good. Oh, yeah. Multiple Academy Award winners. Well, let me think. Jai Courtney has one. Jai Courtney has three. Oh, that's right. He got three for one role.

Margot Robbie got one Best Bathtub Performance in Big Short. So she got that. The bathtub got one, but all the bathtub scenes got cut. Yeah, and then she got two because she's actually but all the bathtub scenes got cut yeah and then she oh she got two cause she got she's actually super funny even though she's so beautiful and has a great sense of humor

and she's a tomboy yeah loves comedy so she got that is Roy Hibbert in it? I think he got a bunch of Academy Awards

for Parks when he was in oh right and then we yeah he played Ruben Hurricane Carter, I think. Yeah. On Parks.

Okay, so you didn't talk Suicide Squad. We didn't talk about that. No, no, no. But that was a great guess, and we honestly could have. All the Academy Awards. And then the other thing, I mean, everyone has talked about all the crazy stuff Leto did, but there's obviously still more to be done there. There's a lot to unpack.

Sure. And was there another thing? Oh, just the box office boffo and the critical slamming. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Big numbers. Those were all areas that Sean ran away from. Mm-hmm.

You didn't. You ran away from the box office. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't have You ran away from the box office? Yeah. I didn't have anything to say, I thought. But we definitely could have talked about it. Did the Olympics instead. Olympics?

Olympics, yeah. That's cool. Yeah. We did. Hayes watched the opening ceremony, but I didn't. How was it? It was good. I guess you already covered all this. He had a bunch of't. How was it? It was good. I guess you already covered all this.

Ask Kay as he had a bunch of friends over to watch it. It was good. He had a bunch of friends over to watch it, and I found out the day after. My projector, I'm blasting it up on the wall. Sure. But it's over the fireplace because I have a fireplace at every wall. So it is very scary for the people in the opening ceremony uh to be so close to the fire all the time and it makes me feel bad it makes me feel like i'm sentencing them to be burned when actually i support them i'm proud of them i want them to win

all of them yes but instead i'm blasting them with fire. Gabe, speak on a little of your history. My history? Yes. Like I went to college. Okay. I went to high school. Speak up. College boy.

Went to college. In high school, were you something of a chameleon? Oh, college boy. Yeah, I like to move around between different groups. I couldn't be pinned down. I couldn't be pinned down. I also felt like I wasn't really part of any one group. But you could still hang out with all of them.

Yes, I kind of fit in with all of them. Friends with everybody. But in some ways, then, you have no real friends. And in college, were you something of a camellia? Yeah. I moved around between groups in college. It went really well in high school. And majors, right?

You switched majors. I had seven different majors. But in some ways you have no major at that point. Yeah. Well, I literally have no major. Yeah. Yeah. I moved.

I lived in New York for a while. Have you guys ever spent any time in New York? Love New York. New York. I moved. I lived in New York for a while. Have you guys ever spent any time in New York? Love New York. New York. Huge pizza. Yeah. It's enormous. The big pizza.

Yeah. The big pizza. Yeah. The big bagel. Yeah. Spent a lot of time there. Pizza bagels. Central Park.

Central Park. Yes. Central Park. Union Square. Yes. Pigeons. Ducks. Bugs. That lady with all the...

The lady who's covered in pigeons. Yeah, pigeon lady. That falcon or whatever that lived in a penthouse. And the gates, Christo's gates. And Christo's gates. Who can't stop talking about Christo's gates? Well, we all, you know, I mean, for any time, if you spend any time in New York, you've been to Christos Gates a dozen times.

And, yeah. The Staten Island Ferry. That's my New York. I mean, that's my New York. Just pizza bagels on the ferry on the way to Christos Gates and then frigging pigeons and bugs. And could you hang out with all the different groups in New York?

Oh yeah. Were you something of a chameleon when you lived in New York? Yeah. I would like uptown, downtown,

east side, west side, Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan. In some ways you have no neighborhood. Was it ever an issue

when your uptown friends are meeting your downtown friends? They hated it. Yeah. Who's all of them? Downtown friends? They hated it. Yeah. Uptown friends. All of them. Downtown friends surprisingly didn't care. Oh, okay.

Uptown friends hated meeting downtown friends. Yeah, that can be so stressful for you. And don't even talk to them about Brooklyn. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Is Brooklyn as hip as everyone's saying? It's pretty cool. Brooklyn's pretty cool, but I think that it's already

now we're moving into Queens like Brooklyn's already over oh wow now you got to get into Long Island City woodside sunny side woodside sunny side

ozone park ozone park Kevin James' house Kevin James' house Kevin James' house the zookeeper yeah here comes the boom.

I mean, that's, you know, that's where we're at, America. Is Williamsburg like Silver Lake or what? Williamsburg, yeah. So Williamsburg is Silver Lake. Greenpoint, Echo Park. Okay. Central Park is Griffith Park. Elysian Park.

Elysian Park is Washington Square Park. What's the Empire State Building? Empire State Building is La Brea Tar Pits. That's right. That's right. That's right. The Flatiron Building, to me, is the Pacific Ocean. to me is the Pacific Ocean.

And so as we talk about New York and L.A., what do we mean? Gabe, unpack that for us. I mean, I think the thing that... And we used to say speak on that when we got there. Yeah, I sort of said it. The thing that is endlessly fascinating for people is the difference between New York and L.A. Yeah. Not a lot of people talk the difference between New York and L.A. Yum.

Not a lot of people talk about it, but it's huge. The New York Times. New York Times, Los Angeles Times. Yeah. New York. That's a big difference. Taxi cabs, L.A., traffic jams. Yeah.

New York, pizza. L.A., smoothies. Smoothies. It's like anywhere you look, there's LA, smoothies. Smoothies. It's like anywhere you look, there's a difference. Yeah, all over. Yeah. Yeah, I notice it too because the winters in New York are – Tough, tough.

If it's winter in New York, it's summer in LA. That's right. That's right. If it's winter in New York, it's summer in LA. New York is the city that never sleeps. Yeah. LA is working on its catchphrase. New York Statue of Liberty, LA the Oscars.

Exactly. Exactly. Yup. Yup. What if the Statue of Liberty, just bear with me on this for a second. I'm still kind of figuring it out. I like it. The Statue of Liberty and Oscar were with me on this for a second. I like it. The Statue of Liberty and Oscar

were together. Kissing? Intimately together in some way. I guess he has to be a lot bigger. Right. We'd have to be dealing with a really big Oscar. Like one of the ones that stands outside. Yes, the big one outside.

The big one outside. Coming down the red carpet. Let's get one of those ones that stands outside. Yes, the big one outside. The big one outside. Like when they're coming down the red carpet. Yes. Let's get one of those big ones to New York, see if they hit it off. One of the ones that Margot won. Yeah. Margot Robbie. Yes, that's right.

She got one of the big ones. They gave her one of the big ones. The big outside one. Because it was not a pre-existing category. Yeah. A lot of times when they come up with a category on the fly, they won't have the statue for it. So they'll just grab a statue from anywhere yeah so yeah one of the big ones and then it's what doing it with the statue well yeah they're just like exploring each other

can you see them up against each other or is the oscar just under her flowing skirt and you know something's going on down there? Yeah, I guess he is sort of rooting around. You just see sort of a rustling and she's sort of like, just like sort of jolts and drops her book. Yeah. But she...

But holds the torch. She's bored. I think she's... I sort of want her to have this, like that someone else could do it better than him. Oh, he ain't hitting it right? Yes. Yeah.

I sort of want her to be conveying that he ain't hitting it right. So you're already at, like, late stage relationship between them. Like, they're way past flirting, getting to know each other. They've already probably had sex a couple times. Now she's like, I got to move on. This is not working out that's what i want to see i don't want to see somebody hitting it right where i want to be looking at it and be like chump yeah hayes likes to feel like and i mean it's interesting

because he's talking to a trophy in this case but hold my trophy while I kiss your girlfriend, you a chump. And as someone who hits it right, it's encouraging for him to see guys who ain't hitting it right. Yeah. Gabe, you smash. I mean, how satisfying is it to know that basically nobody else can touch you? It's huge for me. Yeah. It's huge for me.

Yeah. Huge source of confidence. Wake up every day just feeling like unstoppable. She ain't never going to find nothing like this. That's right. And there's not a single statue or award that could take this away from me.

Not even Cable Ace or even an SB. And you know that that's the case. That is really satisfying for me too that I know my wife, Steffi Graf, is never going to leave me because who else is she going to find to hit it right? Yeah, you're hitting it right in the power alleys. Yeah, that's right. I take it straight down the power alley.

Gabe, the internet, video gum. Yeah, and that's right. You were the star of Video Gum. For sure. Were you something of a chameleon at Video Gum? Yeah, I like to mix it up with different groups at Video Gum. You know, I didn't want to get locked down.

It's not fun to get locked down. It's true. You have to keep it moving. I hate to be painted with just one brush. I want to have so many kinds of paint on me. My face painted like some kind of wild animal. Now explain VideoGum

to people who don't know and are like, oh, wouldn't that mess up your VCR? Yeah. It's stupid. VideoGum is a defunct website that no longer exists. It has been unavailable for at least two years. It's unavailable, yeah. Can't go exists. It has been unavailable for at least two years. It's unavailable, yeah.

It's a hidden gem. It's a real hidden gem of the internet. I used to work there. Haven't for a long time. And you came here to talk about that. And I came here to talk about my latest project, the website that you can't find from three years ago.

Well, that's so interesting that you insisted on bringing it up. If I could just plug video, so it's VideoGum. If I could just plug it real quick, VideoGum.com. You cannot find it. It's not there. You'll open it up for your friends sometimes. For sure. For sure.

Just to like take them on a tour. And I've just been doing the run. I've been going on different shows telling them about this website I used to write that doesn't exist anymore. Just making the rounds. Hey, guys, it's been almost three years. Calling in all my favors. Yeah. I feel like people are starting to maybe be slightly less aware of this thing that ended three years ago.

We're getting the word out. And let's get the word out. We're getting the word out. Really smart. So I obviously understand it. But for people who don't necessarily know how the internet is, tell me if this is true. On the internet, you could just write whatever? Yeah.

And they can as well holy shit yep so fucking crazy guys must just be going wild there's doing nuts stuff it's like yeah there's like a lot of bonkers people out there yeah and they love the internet and the internet when you're on there, you're just looking at anything? Yep. Yep. Who can see it when I do my stuff? Thank you. Anybody can see it. Really? Anybody can see it. Oh, my.

I can see it. Sean can see it. Your mom can see it. No. Your neighbor can see it. Do they have to? They don't have to yet. Okay.

They don't have to yet. As of right now, there's no laws forcing them to. It's up to them if they want to see everything that you're doing. Hang on, Gabe. When they're looking at it, what's going through their head? I mean, look, I can't speak to that. I can't speak to that. Speak on that.

I can speak on that. Okay, thank you. I was waiting for permission. Yeah. You know, they're probably. I was waiting for permission. Yeah. You know, they're probably like, this guy's crazy. Yeah, they would feel that way. And just thinking, this guy's crazy. I'm looking at this stuff.

They don't understand. It's crazy what I'm looking at. That's like a pretty common reaction. Some of the animals, yeah. You have to eat and drink when you're in there? In the internet? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

It doesn't replace food or water yet. Yet. There's a website called Soylent that people are trying to get. Trying to eat it. They're trying to eat it. It doesn't work yet. It doesn't work yet, but they're working on it. Okay.

Okay. So, all right.'re working on it. Okay. Okay. So, all right. Here's a hypothetical. Okay. I'm in the internet. Yeah. And I get a phone call. Okay.

Do I just wake up all of a sudden? So, yes. You are definitely going to wake up. What happens to the internet? Yeah. The internet, so the internet is going to still be there. Oh, and it's my Asian on the phone. Okay, okay, that's fine.

Internet is not going to be a problem. They've decided to go a different way. Not a problem. You wake up. But they loved him i killed it they really want to find something for me something smaller but this role is going to go diversity okay you just this is not a problem the internet is not going to interfere it is another way it's david near it's it's david near he's yeah uh that's what i find out later i guess they doubled back on the diversity thing Where are you at by the way? It's David Nair. It's David Nair. Yeah.

That's what I find out later. I guess they doubled back on the diversity thing. He has like curly hair. Yeah. That's more diverse. Yeah. I'm sorry about that. No, it's fine.

But it's just that I get that phone call while I'm in the internet. So I apparently wake up. Yeah, he wakes up. So then where's the internet? The internet is still there. Holy shit. Yep. And people just can look at that.

Here's the thing. You don't even know. Your agent might be on the internet while he's talking to you. Or she. Or while she is talking to you. This is getting scary. So the agent is jacked in as well. Yeah.

The agent's jacked in. Everybody's jacked in now at this point, basically. There's very few people who aren't jacked in to the internet. You can stay jacked in and be on the phone. It's hard to be jacked off. You know what I'm saying? You're almost always jacked in on the internet. Choice.

Getting phone calls. Yeah. I'm sorry about this. Getting the internet. Choice. Getting phone calls. Yeah. I'm sorry about this. Getting turned down for jobs. New Jack City. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A new thing is that Kevin sneaks in here. Different points on this.

Production manager Kevin sneaks in. Did he yet? We have to stop it down. We have to talk about Kevin. It's not engineer Kevin. It's like Production Coordinator Kevin. He's really trying to build up the faux hawk. He's trying to get it more, to do more than it's been doing.

Kevin, can I take a picture of you with Hayes? I'd like to take a picture of you with Hayes, and then you take a picture of you with Hayes? I'd like to take a picture of you with Hayes and then you take a picture of me with Gabe. Thank you for the camera. How's this work? I just aim it at you? He's going to slice me with his faux hawk. Oh, God.

Okay, and I accidentally took a photo just now and it's so gentle. Okay, here's the boys. This is nice. My guys. Is that working? And I like that because it makes me feel like I'm in a family with Kevin. What happened?

Can you see if I did it right? You have to hold it for a second like that where it auto-aims, and then when it goes green, then you can take the photo. Hey! I'm not a natural camera user. I mean, that's just not one of my strengths. There you go. And that feels like a really good picture of my two guys,

and they're in a family together. They've got the Fritos. And so that can go on the internet, and then Hayes' mom can look at that. Yes. You post that right up. That's in the Dropbox now. You put that in the Dropbox. Send an email

blast. Let everybody know the picture of Hayes and Kevin that's in the Dropbox. Go look at it. And then they will. If I want to watch an outer space porno movie on the internet,

what am I typing in? Okay. Go to Bing.com. Bing. Type in outer space porno. Click send. And then it emails my mom? It's not going to email your mom.

Okay, good. It's not, unless you want it to, it's not going to email your mom. Okay, good. It's not, unless you want it to, it's not going to email your mom. Okay, so then I definitely did something wrong last time. Did you? He did a permanent voice command. He said, email my mom forever. Yes. When you looked up the outer space porno,

did you then copy and paste it into an email, address it to your mom, and send it? She doesn't have an email. Well, so there was a show last year, I think on Fox called Forever, about a doctor who had been alive for a very long time. He was a forever man. And I believe what happened was

I was trying to email my mom about the show because I thought she would find the doctor very handsome. And so I said, email my mom forever. Do you email your mom whenever you see a guy that you think she's going to think is handsome? Not since The Mentalist. She was really into The Mentalist, Simon Baker. She loved his stuff.

And I thought, nothing's ever going to replace this. And when I saw this gentleman from forever, I just thought, well, my mom's got to find out. Mom, get ready. Yeah. Simon Baker is out. I don't do it whenever. I do it when someone has topped the previous man that I sent her. And so, now that

this guy from forever, which, you know, unfortunately, short-lived. There's some sort of ironic joke there. Yes. Yeah. The sweetest nectar of irony. Oh, and Kevin and I had wanted a picture of me and Gabe just as if we're kind of buddies.

And I liked Gabe, actually, when you had your arms spread out like, here we go. Here we go, baby. Yeah, dude. Okay, that's good. So the pictures are going to be so good, and I hope people find them on the internet because that's part of what we're talking about. So unfortunately, it was short-lived, but I did say email my mom forever, and it became a permanent voice command. It did say email my mom forever, and it became a permanent voice command. And so I think what happened is now she gets an email every time I try to watch, you know,

and this is a crazy example, but an outer space porno movie. Green ladies. Or a freaking snapping turtle eating a rat. So fucking sick. I love shit like that. It's just nature. It's fucking nature. Whatever, man.

Oh, I love it. Now, we have these donor shout-outs that you can also help us to explain because these are related to the internet in some way. Yep. Somebody's putting money in the internet, and it's ending up in Scott Aukerman's pockets. Mm-hmm. So Kyle Hilton did one. Tell me about what he's thinking when he does this.

And the science behind it. Yeah, the science and the internet. And maybe if video gum has anything to do with it. Okay, so am I reading this? That Kyle Hilton donated $100 to win this award for recognition of Earwolf? Yeah. Excellence in podcast support. Excellence in podcast support.

First of all, thank you to Kyle Hilton. No, yeah, that seems good. That seems right. We have another one here too. Oh, you'd like me to read this one? Yeah, we don't want to do these anymore. We can't stand it. It's too many.

Gover, another $100. Yeah. Does that seem like a lot of money or a little bit of money to you for that award? You know, I feel like it's a pretty good amount of money. Everyone gets a trophy now. It's a pretty good amount of money. Everyone gets a trophy. Everyone gets an Excellence in Podcasting Support Award.

And for just that money, they're going to get this great piece of paper, and we all sign it. And let's just knock that out, too, while we're here. Fucking congratulations, Maxwell. What'd you put? I wrote Joker was here. I hope. Because we did Suicide Squad after all.

I hope the winners of these awards don't get together and compare them because Joker was here on a lot of the awards. It's on most of them. It's since I re-watched the original Batman, the Tim Burton Batman movie, where he goes through the art museum and he says Joker was here on one of the paintings. And I just really liked that. And then I also would write It's Your Uncle Bingo sometimes too, which also was from when I re-watched that movie maybe a month ago.

Less familiar phrase. It's Your Uncle Bingo? Yeah, I don't remember that one. Yeah, he says it to like the mayor before he kills him or something. The Joker says It's Your Uncle Bingo? Yeah. You know what I'm going to write? So dark the con of man.

Remember? Tell me again about it. It was a scramble. It was a word scramble. That was Da Vinci's code. That's right. And you unscramble it, and it's like the guy looks at it, and he's like, wait, it's a scramble.

It's supposed to be Darkso Manthacon. Is he using the codex for that? He's definitely using the codex. Yes, he pulls out the codex. He's definitely using the codex. Oh, boy. And he's clicking and clacking on the codex. I did look up, yeah, street assassination video,

Batman, It's Your Uncle Bingo. It's also in a supercut of Joker's Best Moments, which maybe I just start playing that. These Joker supercuts. This is like an animated. They sort of, I mean, they sort of, the Joker supercuts kind of replaced Video

Gum, didn't they? It's mostly Joker supercuts now. There was really no need. This is weird. This is just a cartoon. That wasn't the Joker's best moment. Hold on. Not even close.

You should leave a comment. You should definitely start mixing it up on the Joker supercuts thread. He can say anything he wants. Racist stuff. Wow. Anti-woman stuff. This clip's going to be too long. Well, the Joker's white, so I don't know if that would make sense.

And he's a good guy. And he's a good guy? Yeah. Hello, Vinny. It's your Uncle Vinko. Ah. And then he throws a good guy. Yeah. Hello, Benny. It's your Uncle Bingo. Ah. And then he throws a pen through his neck. Now, how much does it cost us when we play that? It's from the internet, which is free.

Yeah. I definitely think that you're going to want to keep getting these. We're going to need a couple more $100 donations. $100 donations. Maxwell, go over. If you could. if you want to keep your triple or quadruple down clips if you want us to be able to play joker clips live on the air because hayes didn't remember when he said it's your uncle bingo before you throw the pen through the guy's neck then you may want to keep giving us hundred dollars and do it through the internet. Gabe, explain how the science works.

So the science, you put your $100 in the internet. Uh-huh. And then it becomes numbers. Does the internet do cashback? Yeah, cashback rewards. Can you take the money out from your mousepad? Not yet. Not yet. Fuck.

Not yet. It's stuck. It's stuck in the mousepad yeah you can't there's no cash back yet if i cut open engineer sam's mousepad right now how much money am i gonna find in there i think you'd look not a lot okay i'm gonna say i don't think it's gonna be a lot i don't think it's gonna be a lot this is uh you know it a lot. This is a podcasting network. No offense to Sam. Yeah, right. No offense to Sam, but yeah, he's poor.

Yeah, his clothes are bad. Yeah. No, I know what you mean. Talk to Sam for a minute. Do you have any questions for him? Sam, how did you get involved with these guys? I applied for a job.

You applied for a job? Yeah. Sean made him go through the same process of everyone else. I don't want to seem like I'm showing favor just because he's my little cousin. What was the interview process like? Sean knew someone here. That's my mom.

Streamline greenlit process. Yeah, streamline greenlit it. Yeah, but the interview process was a lot of like, how's your aunt, my mom? How's your mom? That was one of the first questions. Yeah, well, and then the answer was, you know, she's upset about some of the emails she's been getting from you. was she's upset about some of the emails she's been getting from you.

This was sort of a way to getting his cousin Sam an okay job was sort of a way to atone for the emails. Yeah, a lot of the... It was a make good like we have to do with some of our advertisers. Yeah. They don't like the way we do the ads. But we don't know any other way, Gabe. Any plugs, any specific plugs from VideoGum? Yeah, if I could just.

Any stuff we can't find you really want us to hunt down? You know, there's a post I did on VideoGum. Okay. That I just would really like to get the word out about. Yeah. I took the TMZ tour of Hollywood. Huge post for me. Huge post.

Loved writing about that. Wow. So you can't find that. What else can I find? Are you still giving people advice? Did you unleash the snark? We did. We did. We did a lot of snarks on there.

A lot of snarks on there. Well, the one thing I would say to you is that it's actually pretty hard to make something. You know, I've learned that. And this is a great opportunity. People work pretty hard on some of this stuff. This is my – It's actually – I think if you really tried to make a movie, you'd find that it's actually not that easy.

I think if you had made a movie, if you had actually put your time, your blood, sweat, and tears into a project like this, then maybe you wouldn't think it was so funny to sit back and comment on what exactly didn't work about it. And that's very easy. It's very easy to be snarky, but... It's so easy to say that something's a piece of shit,

but it's not easy to make a piece of shit. It actually takes a long time. And you would rather people don't mention that it sucks. It's really hard to make a movie that sucks so bad. To make something that really sucks and speaks to almost no one and just doesn't even hold up as what it's supposed to be it's expensive and it takes forever takes a long time and you'd like to be able to get another crack at it and if everyone says how shitty it is it's a lot harder so maybe we take it you like some of

the snark yeah you want to make another bad movie yeah you hopefully would like the opportunity to make another bad movie so please get to say that it's good instead. And I've seen this attitude work, actually. Yeah. So how does that feel? No, I think that's a real wake-up call for me. As a guy who's noticed when some things are bad, and maybe you could have kept it to yourself.

I think, you know, look, it would have been harder to do my job at the time which again was a job i did three three years ago or so yeah but uh but it was it would have been harder at the time to do that job um but i do you know maybe i should have thought a little harder three three to five years ago yeah three to five. About how hard it is. How hard it is to make something. Yeah. Yeah. It can be hard, yeah.

Yeah. What's next? That's a good question. What's next, buddy? That's a great question. You know, I'd love to just like, I'm working on this spec script right now. Zero Dark Forty. Who's it starring?

Well, it's starring Olivia Munn. Oh, wow. What a great Psylocke. In Zero Dark Forty. Loved her as Psylocke. It's basically, it's like Weekend at Bernie's meets speed two. Oh, wow. I would have thought it was like, this is 40 meets zero dark 30.

No, it's well, no, look, it's picks up where zero dark 30 left off. Uh huh. You remember how they take his Osama bin Laden's body out on that boat and dump it into the ocean. Yeah. Couple of guys are like, I bet we could get a date. If we took that body to shore they pick the body up put some strings on the suit take him to the bar lose the body

olivia munn's playing osama yes that's nice yeah she's firmly attached and she's not allowed to back out of the project here's something that happened when i went to see x-men apocalypse starring olivia monis siloed they had an interview at the end of the movie that they showed of you know arclight presents where the writer of that movie is sitting in the arclight lobby apparently in real time uh with when you were watching the movie because a lot of the displays are the same. The costumes? Yes, the costumes. What were the costumes for this one? It's almost always a leather jacket.

A Ninja Turtle, yes. Here's the leather jacket from – I love to see the costumes in person. It's mind-blowing. It's thrilling. When you go, this is what they're wearing this is the shirt Turtle wore that was there

in the Entourage movie wow a lot of Turtle costumes yes the Ninja Turtle and the shirt Turtle wore so he's doing an interview and saying that he wanted to incorporate Psylocke into this film

and that it just came to him that Olivia Munn would just be the best actress for this. So he sat down with Bryan Singer and he Google image searched Olivia Munn for Bryan to show him some images so that Brian would know what she looks like. Brian, of course, really responded to the Google image search. So this guy then reached out to Olivia. He doesn't say I have her email, but it's implied. And Olivia said, not only would I be willing to play that character, I know more about that character than you or Brian.

I know everything about her. And she wound up being a great resource for this screenwriter throughout the film. G4. G4. G4. G4, yeah. What a fucking nerd man wait so

just to clarify the screenwriter uh huh for X-Men Apocalypse uh huh sat down with Bryan Singer

the director uh huh and Google image searched Olivia Munn to go doesn't this look like Psylocke and

and Bryan Singer responded well. Yeah. But then Brian Singer was like, yeah, you go write her? Yeah, go drop her a fucking email, man. And then she went like, I could even probably tell you some of what to write. And he went like, yeah, sure. I mean, I'm just fucking guessing.

I could use some help. guessing i could use some help from the woman who made it that aaron rogers won't talk to his brother uh so that was part of the idea and it really comes across i mean she doesn't say many lines of the film but the ones she does say speak volumes. You really can tell that she researched it. And then intercut in this interview where he's describing this they show an Instagram

video that Ryan Reynolds put up during like Deadpool where Olivia Munn is like in the Psylocke costume and does this huge complicated sword fighting technique, which seems like she really can move a sword. And then Ryan Reynolds has an inflatable balloon sword, like a balloon animal sword, and looks at her like,

uh-oh, this ain't going to do the trick. So that's how you also know that she really was a great resource. That sounds like a fun video. I got to tell you, it really brought the interview to life. After the credits? After the credits rolled, I stuck around for some Arclight Presents. And watched him give that interview in front of the Ninja Turtles costume. And I'm trying to remember.

There was another very small movie that the costumes were there from that would have been funny if I could pull a specific, but I don't know. Do you want to just think of a different one? A different movie? Just something that would be good. Like an equivalent movie? Yeah. Yeah, well, that's what I was trying to do was trying to think.

And then the one movie I did think of was one that I really liked, and so now I have to try to think of another one. The one that was a small movie that I liked, that they could have had the costumes from. It was like the shirt from Palo Alto or whatever, which I did enjoy watching. So can you think of a small movie that is like that that you don't like

or not even that I don't like but just that I didn't see at least a small movie and the clothes oh they had the peach pie from labor day bye bye Bye.