Hollywood Handbook - George Civeris, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

The Boys welcome back GEORGE CIVERIS from Straightiolab to discuss their podcast rivalry and his new special, George Civeris: A Sense of Urgency.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps, plus fries, and a medium soft drink for just $8. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Kevin George is here. Woo! George's here again.

George Rocks. That's not what you said. That's not what you said. I want to give Kevin a chance to take it again. Oh, okay. Well, Kevin, that's not what you said about George before he got here. What I say? George is here.

Okay, he's here. And if you want to confront him about anything, now is your opportunity. He said he was going to slime you out. Yeah. I mean, I am willing to take feedback. Did I not do a good job last time? You tried. Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, there was definitely a lot of effort. It was nothing to do with, I don't know, it's something else. It's nothing to do with, like, the episode last time. I don't think that's what he was reacting to. But as you ask, I definitely could feel you trying in the last episode. It's about my other work. Yeah. You feel like I'm not staying true to myself.

I'm trying too hard to appeal to a mass audience. I've gone to mainstream. You used to be so real. And there was an authenticity that Kevin was really responding to. Right. And he feels like it got lost somewhere in the system. Well, Kevin is a fan from like the old, like Lower East Side Days. I had the show.

Rafi Fee Fee. Luna Lounge. Yes, Luna Lounge. They did this pop-up. It was in the middle of the street, peak traffic, rush hour. And I would just stand in the middle of the street. I would get hit by cars. I went to the hospital multiple times.

Renegade, punk rock art. Yes. And now is the East Village girls going to the hospital and getting hit by cars? Yes, the East Village girls, correct. They're sort of like the West Village girls. They have black t-shirts instead of white t-shirts. They're kind of like the warrior of the West Village girls. They carry zip guns.

Yeah, yeah, no, they're shooting. I hate that they run around with zip guns. Yeah, it's crazy. I hate that. So sure, I understand, I understand feeling like I've lost my punk rock spirit. But ultimately, it is a business, and I'm trying my best to sort of keep up with what people are doing and with the platforms people are watching on. What do you do with all the money? It's complicated.

I'm investing in a lot of art from emerging LGBTQ plus artists. A lot of performers are. Where are they emerging from? Yeah. They are emerging from various actually art schools. Yeah, various expensive arts schools. I was saying like a goop like some kind of. No, no.

They're actually, it's interesting. They're emerging from well funded. They are all upper middle class. And they are emerging from art schools that they went to and had a sort of a nice time. That's got to be so hard. Yeah, it's really tough for them. But luckily I'm, and you know, people especially now with the second Trump administration, people are not supporting, things like that as much. And so people like me have to be all about it.

Well, you used to collect a lot of queer art. I went too hard. I have been to your place and it's a lot of black and white polaroids of like unmade beds. And then they. I'm just starting to get what those were about. Yeah. And, you know. I kind of didn't know.

It was. You didn't realize the undertones? I thought we were just kind of like having it. Not everybody has to make their bed all the time. I thought it was like, look at something, make me a little speepy at nighttime. What about the other ones?

You know, it's like someone pulling apart their ass cheeks and it's just their whole. That I had been standing too close to. Oh, I see. So I just had it set up in a narrow hallway where like I couldn't really get a full look at it

at any given time. Yeah. So. And the close up, it's a, I kind of look like a science fiction like desert. type of landscape. There's the one, it's a tongue and there's a little spittle that is mid drip from the tongue.

Yeah. What is the story? My kitchen is this what it was my- Drulene, he's hungry, delicious, the scents and all- You didn't think it was- Well, I guess, the experience of my guess when they smell my creation. Oh, cool. Yeah, so like that one, there's-

And you've now sold all that. I sold it all, but like you said, I'm- At a massive loss, no. Yes, I'm taking a huge, huge hit because we are not supporting this stuff the way we used to. We need to support it. until I can get this shit off my books. Yeah, and then we reevaluate. Yes.

Then we stop supporting it. We can just find a happy, happy middle, which is what that picture was called. We can't support the same thing all the time. Am I crazy for saying this? So what sort of things are you supporting now? At this very moment. Yeah. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. Are you just donating? Yeah, I just, I just, I just park outside there and, you know, kind of beat my horn whenever they're in support. Remember, yeah, during COVID, like the healthcare workers would like bang up pots and pants

and stuff. I'm doing that for the Raytheon employees. Yeah. I mean, I guess they could use public support. They have, it's interesting, like, if it was a nonprofit or something, you would donate money, but Raytheon actually has enough money

what they don't have as enthusiasm. They got money, but they get treated like shit. And it's like at this point, they actually are sort of a victim class. You know what I mean? where we just go like, oh, just because you like do this like bad thing. No, they're judged based on their actions

and not what's in their heart. And to me, that's very kind of un-American and like... Let me ask you this. Do you want to do that job? Do I want to do Raytheon? Yeah, do you want to do that job? Like be sort of doing Xbox but with drones and kind of killing people overseas.

Do you want that job? Because somebody's going to have that job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like, it's just like, There's so much judgment on it and it's like, okay, well, then you go do the job and see if you can do it with kindness or whatever it is that you think is missing. Do you think that the issue of some kind? Do you think that people criticizing Raytheon, their issue is that the right people are in doing the job of the murder or that maybe?

They want someone else to do it. And I don't think they'll like who's going to get in there when the current ones are out, whoever they hired instead of the next person. And these days, they'll probably be DJ James Kennedy or something. No, I mean, that's who they're going to be rolling in there. And by the way. I don't think you should be doing that. And James is erratic. Yes.

I mean, he's, you know. Whereas if people are doing a charge now are very even keeled. And I guess not famous enough is like the criticism of like we want, like, our heroes are new heroes in there, you know, to be like occupying the halls of Raytheon. And I'm just going like, well, can somebody. normal have a normal job and then can these celebrity influencers do something else?

What would you like the influencers to do? At this point? Yeah. Take a picture with me. Can somebody take a picture with me? You know what I mean? He'll pay, like... What is it?

Like a salary and with benefits. You're paying DJ James Kennedy a full-time salary. Just be on retainer. Full-time salary with... Not be taking a picture every second. care dental. He's getting

elective orthodontics just so you can once a month take a photo with him. I'd like to approve some of these procedures. Oh, I see what you're saying. I mean,

it's his picture. It all goes into the picture. Well, it all goes into the picture. That's what I mean. I think the better he looks. So if he's trying to take a nice picture and DJ James Kennedy has his fangs bear

and he's going if he's installed vampire fangs and then that's being used to bite me in the middle of our Beamer selfie. If he's showing up a beamer selfie. If he's showing up not

having good teeth or, you know, acne or whatever, that reflects poorly on you. I mean, ultimately he's... What am I paying for? Exactly. You know what I mean? Because we're trying to get a good picture. We're trying to get a beamer selfie. Right?

Mm-hmm. So, you know, I obviously want to... It's not like carte blanche, like, oh, here's a blank chag. And you just can go... Shout out Griffin and David. No, that's a different podcast. Shout out Griffin and David. And George Host Radio...

Correct. Which is another different podcast. Are we... Are we mentioned in the podcast? Or are we like, I'm not for today. I'm not here to talk about that. We don't want to talk about that today. I've already promoted that my podcast, Stradelab,

but I host to Sam Taggerit on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. I'm under the IHeart Media umbrella. Yeah. It is something I'm still doing, but I'm currently focused on a different project. Okay. I want to address something you did just mere minutes ago. I was in front of you. Yeah.

And you were wondering what the name of my special was that I'm here to promote. I was in front of you. Yeah. Rather than addressing me and asking, what is the title again, you check out your phone and Googled George Severus special title. Is that correct? I just Googled George Severus, assuming

that it would be close to the top. I think that's nice. Chat, maybe weigh in. Is that nice that I could tell, like, have George think that I'm just recalling it off the top of my head and saying you had done his research? But then you told me you were Googling it.

Because, and this can be another funny little story that comes out of this. Because I got a funny result. I accidentally Googled you and Joel Kim Booster together because I was trying to read an article about my friend's wedding. Right, right. And what I got back is an AI generated response. Which, by the way, he refuses to turn off. He said he doesn't want anyone to drink water ever again.

I said, you know, you can deactivate that automated AI response part. And he said, no, I turned it up. And the AI is figuring out. So stupid. Because the AI is figuring out, like, their version of water that is, like, going to be just as good as the original one. You think AI is figuring out a new version of water? Yeah. Well, they literally, so the capabilities that AI has to go through every single scenario of what might be like water.

Oh, you don't have to tell me. And just run through it so quickly. And now they have to use water to do it. Yeah. But the fact that they can do that. you don't think that the computer will figure out a better thing than water? Here's a good, actually, example of how this could work, because what I googled, accidentally was George Svaris, Joel Kimbooster, and I got back George Svarez as the host of

Stradio Lab with Brennan Lee Mulligan. And so what the AI had done is scanned the internet and found this kind of reddish man and said, this must be Brennan Lee Mulligan. And so what we might get is a liquid that is to water as Brennan Le Mulligan is to Sam Taggart. But see, to me, that could be a pretty nice tasting water. It's so funny you say that because to me that points to the issue with AI. I host a podcast with Sam Taggart. I've been doing it for six years.

You don't even want to talk about it. What if suddenly I walk into the studio, Brandon Lee Mulligan is my co-host in a. AI's brain, they're saying this is the same, maybe even better. This is like, this is, you know, essentially the same thing George is doing for six years. For me, it would be a complete nightmare. I know, offense to him, obviously, but I have, I have chemistry that I've worked. That's not going to, that's not going to play well with him. I, no, no, I. I was, I love to do a separate project with him, you know, any time. My door is open. George. I'm actually pretty busy at the moment. But it, but if I walked into the Strader Lab studios and what I, what we spent the last six years building,

Suddenly we have to rebuild in one day because AI made a mistake. George, I'd like to impart a truism. Oh, okay, Jenny, holds their alert. There is. Holds this L. Yeah, yeah. There is. But a single quality that will keep you in everlasting ignorance.

Uh-huh. And it is contempt prior to investigation. Oh, my God. Now, you have refused to even try. Try replacing Sam with Brennan Le Molligan. And you just assume that it would be worse or that the chemistry would be there. You don't even know.

You're very generous to indulge this. Do 30 to 40 episodes with Brennan. I have to pull the veil back. He has to do this for Sam. Like Sam is listening. If he shows up in that studio, Brennan Le Muggan is there. He's acting like, he's not going to say a damn thing.

He's going to like just move forward. with the show. You think I'm so professional that I'm not going to address it? I think you're accepting what could potentially be a huge gift from this. Brennan's fucking doing incredible numbers. He's pushing numbers around town. Yes. It's pretty serious what he's working with.

So where does that leave Sam? Sam, something happened to him. Let's say I'm completely, like, I don't care about Sam anymore for whatever reason I think it's a good business decision to replace him. It's not your business. If you just show up in studio and Brennan is there and you never hear from Sam again, that is not your business.

But it's not, I don't own... Hang on. Ask AI who is a better, George that Sam could then work with. Then we got two, one of use Stradio, one to use Lab, and we got the two shows now, right? How much water will be enough to waste

in order to do a bit about how... I think this is the last one. Okay. I think this is the last one. have to do? Is there another host I don't know about? No, we can replace our producer. Nobody gives a shit about the producer. Kevin, tell him how nobody cares about the fucking producer. It's true. Kevin's leaving. We don't even care. No one cares. Oh, my God. It's going away. It's so mean. Look at him. All right, who's going to replace me? But this is the opposite of you and the

Whitney and Sam. Brandon dynamic where like we have to say that we don't care about. Kevin leaving to protect ourselves. It's all, if I ever am vulnerable around him, you know what I mean? There'll be no end to it. The automatic AI generated Google response, oh, George, I'm so sorry. No. We did ask. I was afraid of this.

I asked Chad GBT, which I don't use that much. Who is a better, who is a better George Severus? Oh, no. What's the worst possible? It's not, by the way, that was not. My answer was not worse. I said it before he said the word worse. What was your...

I said as a joke, Benito Skinner, because I was thinking of a more famous gay comedian than me. Sure. That's not... You want to establish now. That wasn't meant to be a dick. Okay, go on. I'm not sure who you mean by George Severus.

Oh, no. That name doesn't clearly match a well-known public figure. No. Could you clarify one of these for me? is the spelling correct. Oh, no. And I really have bad news for you, which is that it is.

Are you comparing two people both named George? And here's a really tough one. Uh-oh. Do you mean someone like George Clooney, George Kivaris with a K? Oh. Do you mean George Kivaris? Is that a real person? Or another similar name.

Once I know who you're referring to, I can give you a clear answer. Whether George Kivaris is a real person doesn't really matter. We found out that you aren't. But here's the, I'm glass half full. Sam is a public figure enough. It's not half full. Sorry, after the search is not. No, oh, no, the glass is empty and it will never be full again.

Until they find the water. Until they find the new AI water, of course. Which I'm sure is coming from what I understand based on the, the Raytheon. Brennanade. What? We might call it Brennanade. Oh, so Brenton is sort of like in cohutes with all AI.

I think that's obvious. He's always explaining. But I guess for me, I'm like, so Sam is enough of a public figure that he is legible to the state so much so that they can replace him with someone, quote unquote, better. I, on the other hand, am so, I'm such a huge fucking flop. You're great. That's what I mean. I'm a true original.

I will never be replaced. They can't even find someone to replace. me, so I'm safe for now. And maybe the algorithm is being prevented for absorbing things like your special into its framework, into the LLM. Because Lenny Bruce style were it to infect the language model, it might take the whole structure down with it. Right.

Do you find that Brennan is explaining stuff to you on your social media feeds at all? lately. That's so interesting. I see him like sort of holding court in some of these interviews. People are interviewing this guy. And I guess it's just because we had him on the show. And so now like my phone, my computer is like, oh, you got to hear someone with this guy's got going on. I saw I'm talking to Beck and Kyle. I didn't even see that this was like a sit down. This looked like a Charlie Rose style interview that I see. They brought back Charlie Rose just for this. I think One last job. One last job.

They said, we need the guy replacing Sam Taggart on Stradio Lab. We need to know what makes him tick. Yeah. I saw a clip that was like, it was Beck and Kyle, and Brennan was like the government spying on us. And Beck was like, that's crazy. What's government? Ed, that bread was like explaining that to him. Yeah, like what the, he was telling him what the G word is.

Yes, that's right. And what was his explanation? I can't retain. any of what he says after, but he's sounding like really smart, but then I'm just like, this is going way past me. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Hollywood. Hollywood

Handbook. And you were here for the Globes. That's right. I was here for the Globes. I was nominated. My special, A Sense of urgency. Was nominated. I was nominated. I was going to say, I never did get that title. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I'm willing to ask you right in front of you. It's a thank you. Yeah, it's called A Sense of Urgency.

Oh. That good title? What do we think? So I need to know Why? Is it a part of a bit? Am I hearing it? Are we pulling it from the text? But I was brainstorming it, and I said, I want to name it a sense of urgency. I texted two trusted friends from college, and both of them were like, any other, what's number two?

Yeah, what's the other option? And you're texting your college friends because they are not threats. No, no, no, they are threats. They both work at Raytheon, and so they could actually kill me at any time. Yeah, they're the normal, oh, the normal faceless people. Those are my friends. They could order a target strike. you. And they have in the past. You know, sometimes if we're in a fight or if I'm being kind of

annoying in the group chat, I'll wake up. There's going to target on my forehead. I say, oh, there's Steph again, doing some extra critical, extrajudicial killing, one of her big main hobbies, aside from macromay. And so basically, there's two things with a sense of urgency. There's a final, I actually don't say the phrase in the special, believe it or not, but there is a final bit where I'm like the sort of vibe of it is like we're running out of time we're running out of times but then the other thing is growing up this is sort of like was like an inside joke with myself naming it growing up my mom would always tell us that we have to have a sense of urgency about everything so sort of a tribute to my mom she had this very like immigrant mentality like you got

to always be like one step ahead of them like blah blah and it was like you don't have a like if we're late to something if we're not ready in time you don't have a sense of urgency that's going to come back and bite you in the ass you don't have a sense of urgency and And so that was sort of the thought Ross's mind. And does she know? Did you share this? Yes, I did. I did.

And she thought it was funny. Wow. She, you know, she can laugh about it. Well, I certainly don't want to disrespect your mom. Please don't.

But something tells me you're about to. No, no, no. No, I think she correctly instilled a sense of urgency. I mean, definitely every time I'm starting to talk, you just like,

got to get in there. Yes. You know? So it's like, that's like really held true. And this is like, serving you well. I know we're not.

supposed to talk about StradioLab on this episode today, but we did see a clip a while ago where you were talking about needing potentially a rival podcast. Oh, sure. Yeah. Like rival hosts to just be like in a feud with. And I don't know if your energy today is like designed to provoke that. Well, I do want to say one thing, which is it's interesting this hasn't come up. And sorry to interrupt you.

I know that's frowned upon on this podcast. But I was thinking when we were talking about the AI versions of Sam and me that the elephant in the room, quite frankly, is that we are both brunette with beard and you and Sam are both reddish with mustache. And it's sort of like you guys are like the Chad versions of us in a sense. So I think it would be a very obvious, you know, people often will compare us. We can talk about that after, which one is. Often will compare us to other gay podcasters.

I'm totally open to that conversation. And I'm not gonna like take that Just because he said it Which is who's the chat version? I'm saying you guys are both the chat versions of us I was the chat version I was talking about that I wasn't pretty guys again that I'd like to talk about yeah

If you guys can put me on speaker phone I would love to hear that conversation after Oh yeah well you'll be here Oh cool okay I just can't do it while the show is being recorded I well yes of course you save all your more interesting material for when the cameras are off I was being really funny right before the show and I'll be really funny again right after Okay, well, I'm sorry to keep interrupting you, but I want to give you the floor if there's anything you've been meaning to say.

Got it. Yeah, this is, you know, I asked for it. No, this is what I was afraid of. A lot of pressure to be given the floor like this, don't you think? Anyone you... Oh, sorry. Anything you want to go back to... Can you let him speak?

I'm really trying to help. Like, if there's anything you were trying to say before that you want... to like reach back for now. So George was saying like, so you would ask. This is really interesting. You would ask George about, you know, whether or not we would be discussing Stradio Lab on the episode. Yeah, it was a while ago.

And he said he's not here to talk about that. Yeah. And then we talked about it. And I'm curious if Sam was here, if Sam was here by himself, would he be so quick to shut that down? Is he a better advocate for the show than you are? I think probably yes. One of us got up this morning, booked himself on a podcast, came. Well, when he wants to do the show, he's like,

George and I should do it together. Oh, is that true? When you want to do the show, you're often like, can I kind of leave Sam home? Yeah. How does that work? And we have, we host a podcast. We host a podcast together as well.

Right. Yeah. But we don't, you know, obviously we don't like that we have our own lives. Like if we- One of us does something by himself. It's like we don't, we don't like that. If we came on your show, we're in no danger of being invited. But if we came on your show, would you invite, would you prefer to have one of us or both of us?

I would say that it depends because if it's, if we're talking like a remote recording, I really don't like four people on a Zoom. It stresses me out. It's unclear who's turned to speak. We'll fly in. If you fly in, you have my word that we will have both of you in the I-heart Red studio. And we will be around that boardroom table, and we will come up with some clear goals for Q1 together.

Well, I like that. And can I make a promise right now if it is just me? Yeah. You're free to talk about our. shared podcast during the show. Well, don't you think that going and doing things separately kind of

brings more flavor into the joint project because you're each bringing your own experiences? Otherwise, you both depends on who's doing it. Yes, it depends who's doing it. And not if like when the shared stuff gets brought up, it's kind of shut down or sort of frowned upon. Right. Right. Right. Like that's not

what I'm here to talk about. Well, it's interesting because I'm actually... Not what I'm not here to talk about that. Yeah. It's like Billy Bob Thornton when they wanted to talk about acting. Well, he's a big inspiration for both me and Sam. And we both really love Landman. That's our favorite television series. Would you ask Tom Petty about what it was like to be in Sligblade? He's coming on after this.

It's Nicole Byron, then Tom Petty is our afternoon recordings. Do you have a theory about who is the Lamb Man? about who is the landman? Yeah. Have you figured that out? Is that the central mystery of the series? They're trying to find out.

Oh, got it. Yeah. And who are the main suspects, would you say? John Ham. John Ham? John Hamm. John Hamm is in Landman? Ham.

It's interesting. It's sort of like in the same way that, in the same way that there's an entire world over at dropout. TV of comedians. It's like a whole universe that I saw, somehow was introduced to a couple months ago. The Landman extended universe is kind of like that

where suddenly you're telling me all these Academy Award winning actors have been on this show for like five seasons. And John Hamm is not an Academy Award winning. Well, he should have been for the town. For the town. Confess Fletch. The non-fucking around crew.

Confess Fletch. Yeah. Confess, comma, Fletch. Mm-hmm. That was a tough one. That was a tough Fletch. not my favorite. Saw it twice.

That was my favorite Fletch? I was not watching the earlier Fletches and thinking like, oh, I want to see Fletch get flayed. They were trying to torture confessions out of a 80% of the movie. Maybe this is a cultural blind spot on my part. Zero dark fletchie kind of thing. Yes. I didn't know Fletch was, and to be honest,

I don't think I'm alone in this considering the box office numbers of this film. I didn't know Fletch was such a cultural touchstone for people. And when it was like, okay, confess Fletch's back, everyone gets in the theaters. It was originated by Chevra Chase. Did you watch the documentary about Chevy? No, I saw the one clip. Me too. Is the documentary out or did they just produce that one clip?

Yeah. I think it's like clip it on a loop, yeah. So look at our, look, we have the ring in the silver wild. Yeah. Same kind of hand set up over here. Well, you're the chat version. And I can tell your ring is thick. thicker than mine.

A little bit, yeah. We're not saying no. Sam's ring is also thicker than mine. Do you think it's like too feminine that I have a thin ring? Be honest. I think it looks good. I think it suits you. And I don't want to like set up this dynamic where like if we're like the enemy

podcast of you guys. It can't just be. It can't just be like. One to one. It can't be like. That it's like a gay podcast. It can't be all about how. A straight podcast.

Oh, I see. We're enemies. I can't just be your enemy. just because you guys are gay. We have to figure out like... But what if you're the enemy because we're prejudiced against you? Like, then you can sort of...

That's just going to have to be right up front. Uh-huh. Yeah. We've got to foreground that in a major way. Somehow, that's going to have to get picked up so fast. Anyone picking it up in the middle of the feud has to really understand that, no matter where they start. Somehow every clip has to like, oh, captions.

Captions would help. I think it's yeah it seems like a heavy lift for you guys I feel like it would be nice if there was something else that we could find to differentiate us it says on a big big yellow text on the bottom the gay guys hate the other guys for not being gay I don't think we hate you for not being gay well you have to well it's not going to work otherwise but you're why do you this is such a black and white why else would you hate us is there anything else negative about me. And it just has to, it has to undo kind of the expected, you know, we have to

zag. Well, okay, so let's brainstorm. We can't, you're saying the difference between us. I'm not saying that. They're saying that. You understand we exist in society. Who? Gay guys? You're saying the, no. No, this is the exact opposite. You're saying, oh, a bunch of, I don't even know who is. I don't even know who is. I don't know who is. I don't know about. Be your rival podcast if we're talking about this. You can talk about bisexuals in a way that people are like, okay, I'm kind of mad about that, but it's okay. Yeah. We cannot do that.

We can't. I can't be out here talking about lesbians in a way of it. Yeah, when I bring that stuff up all of a sudden, it's like a huge problem for everyone. Yeah, but then I have stuff. I got a lot to say. No, you, I've heard so much lesbian material. No, off mic, it's pretty much just a list of identities and your problem. Well, I told you, right before the podcast, I was going.

And I agree about that group of people that you were talking about. They are so up their own ass. I know. Especially lately with everything happening politically. Right. And it's like not an excuse necessarily. We're focusing on Venezuela, you know. Yeah.

But it's always something. Yeah, I would sort of argue that what you're saying is flawed because you're saying you're saying you can't say something about lesbians because people are going to be mad at you. But then in the broader scheme, of things, you're going to like win a golden globe. Like you just have to be comfortable with getting the institutional praise in a sort of Ricky Jervase type way. And you just have to be comfortable with bisexuals being angry with you.

Is it the only way to win a golden globe now is having bisexuals get mad at you? Quite literally, yes. Oh my God. I mean, it's certainly, it worked for Amy. Do you want the moral Amy who? Polar? Oh my God, she despises bisexual. And like she's mopping up for it. Well, she loved them. Would they be happy with that?

I mean, yeah, if her whole thing. Are they happy? Well, they're both happy and sad. That's why they're bisexual. That's kind of what it's all about. Yeah. That's what I think anyway. Maybe I'm bisexual. I knew someone in college who identified as tri-by, bisexual, biracial, and bipolar.

What do you have to say about that? So here's what I would. My wish. What? They need a bicycle. Or a tricycle. Oh, yeah. That wouldn't really match with the rest of the identifiers.

Well, it's try by. I think it would. It could be by try and try by. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I, my wish instead is that we could be mad at each other over like we all found a treasure together. And we agreed. Yeah.

This would really kill on dropout. To bury it and like split it evenly after a certain amount of time. Dropout tune well. I know. Okay. They basically, this is, and by the way, trust me, I know. This is basically what happened to them. They accidentally like found a billion dollars.

Yes. And now they have to decide how to split it. There needs to be. Different people keep sneaking in. I would love a year. In New York Times investigation of where that money came from because it is, I haven't seen anything like this since um queen of versailles yeah it is like a mr b style challenge and we might glared that he's responsible for this to me mr beast and drop again i know mr beast is

funding drop out without their knowledge yeah and they have to the challenges they have to be like they would have to sit in a room together and be like really nice to each other and as soon as like anyone is too mean all the money disappears completely yeah um has mr Beast been on the pod? So it's, we're not sure. We've had some people. Yes, we've had some people on here that we suspect may have been Mr. Beast. And time will tell.

I assume that the prestige will take place at some point where he kind of reveals himself to have been Mr. Beast the whole time. Baron Davis was in here. Yep. Okay. You thought he was Mr. Beast. I was getting Mr. Beast vibes off him. Oh, interesting.

Am I the only one? And we did the whole, like, I don't know. I'm not going to, like, cross over to the other chair and, like, unmask somebody on the show. That's not what this show is. No, no, no, no. This show is about hating bisexuals and being afraid that gay guys are going to cancel you. God. It's definitely about being scared.

Yeah. The show's always been about being scared, first and foremost. Okay, well, to go along with the shape-shifting thing. Yeah. If our connection is that you and Sam have a physical bond. Bond. Physical bond, yes. And that the two of us have a physical bond.

If the connection is that we have physical similarities, then it could be something like a shape-shifting. Like what if sometimes I sneak in, sister-sister style, Tia and Tamara Mari style, I sneak in and pretend to be Sean and record. And you realize mid-recording, that's not my co-host. And then this actually brings it back to, what we were talking about initially with Sam being replaced. So basically, at any given time,

there are shifting alliances among the four of us, and someone is always trying to sabotage the other person's recordings via switching places and... Sneaking in. Yeah. And that actually... I'm doing a show with Sam, I don't know it. Correct.

But I'm going, why is no one hosting this thing? And then I can show up on Stradio Lab and really get my shit off. Exactly. in a way that he or people would be like, why is he doing that? Yeah, but he's got so much stuff. Yeah. I want to say on the record

in terms of us having you on, like there's nothing I would want more, but I feel like you guys are like... Nothing? No, I feel like you guys are like untouched. Like, I have this idea that I'm gonna... I have this idea that I would ask you to do it

and you'd be like, okay, we have to because he's been on our show. Oh, I'm so. happy to hear that. Oh my God, I love that that's the impression that I putting out there. I feel like you guys would keep that going. That's very exclusive. It's really hard to get us.

We both did box Angeles at one point. Oh my God. And now I can think about every other podcast and think that that's why they haven't asked me. But I'm Scarjo. Yeah. That's right. Nobody wants to ask me out. I'm too hot. They're intimidated. That's so good. I did do what you're describing recently.

It wasn't intentionally, but we had Molly Lambert on and I sort of was like, why didn't you ask me to do a voice on your podcast? And then her producer did email me and say, hey, come to a voice. And I was like, yeah, totally. And then I had to go out of town during the dates they asked and then I never talked to them again. You know, it's interesting. Sam was asked to do that and I wasn't. Well, Hayes had done it and I hadn't.

Wow. Oh my God, it's happening. This is real. And actually your Sam was asked. asked and yeah both Sams were asked yes yeah and they didn't want and they didn't want it they didn't want George yeah now that's interesting would you say that being a Sam is more of like an on-camera vibe whereas being a George is a more off camera I mean you know you mentioned the Golden Globes that was there purely as a

writer not as a performer would you say that we have more um faces for a writer's room people yeah well I don't even know if it's an on camera but there's a more approachable, right? People are more comfortable asking Sam. You know, Sam? Yes. Oh, yeah. They'll reach out to Sam.

Right, right, right. And we like it. They're more intimidated. Secretly, the Georges are really nice. And I think that's true. Yes, I do too. I actually think I overcompens it. I know people think I'm kind of like bitchy.

So then I overcompensate. And I said that, George, I said that so many times. I know. Before you came on, after you came on this morning, here comes, here's comes bitchy George. Oh, yeah. And I guess the question. Yeah, I know. But then, in fact, that some of the Sam's have is like, if you're secretly nice, like, if it's a big secret, are you nice?

When do you reveal it? No, no, no, no. Like, what is being nice if it's a big secret? No, no, I think it's just a feeling in your heart. Yeah, we're discerning. You know, it's like we're gonna, there's five people we're gonna choose which one we wanna talk to, but then to that person, you have it in you.

We'll be so nice to them. Yeah, okay. We're gonna be really nice to them and we're gonna be like, thank God I'm talking to you who I love and not these four fucking losers. Yeah. It implies also. They think I'm bitchy, Jesus Christ.

These fucking lame assholes, they suck meanwhile. They have terrible careers. They're stupid. Yeah. Everything they make sucks, and I'm just barely restraining myself from telling them that.

And they think I'm a jerk. Sorry, no. Exactly. And I go on, what were you saying? Yeah, meanwhile, you're talking to all five of them. You're talking to all five of them. You're saying, oh, hi, oh, hi. But you have nothing to sort of no depth to the kindness.

You know, you're just going around, you're going around. You're saying, oh, congratulations on your new project. Oh, it's so nice to see you. Yeah, and they feel nice. Yeah, they're saying, oh, my God. They're feeling good. He's so sweetheart. He's so sweetheart.

He's great. Oh, he's so supportive. Yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm actually secretly nice because I don't even engage with them at all. Exactly. And out of respect. Because I hate.

I'm saying, why would I be fake to you that is so disrespectful for me to me to pretend that I respect you, pretend I have any sort of, that you mean anything to me as a person? How kind. There must be a kind of a swarthy brand of there as well. You know what I mean? I haven't been able to log in to the site to see if he's in there. Into your...

Chad GPT? Into like your social network for like Sean and George types. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys not have one of those for the Sam? Is there like a feed or is it just like a Slack? It's just a... It's just a grid of top.

Yes. Wow. It's like Grindr. That's what Grindr is. A grid of tiles? Yes, it's a grid of tiles. And it is location-based. And you know, wherever you are. If you line them up exactly right? Well, it's just by how far away they are from you. So it's automatically populated. And so wherever I am, let's say I'm in some, you know, all of us are very kind of like sophisticated. All our friends are mostly like playwrights and sculptors.

Yeah. We are, let's say I'm at a gallery opening, a theater, the opera. places that Sean and George's would frequent. We opened the grinder for Sean and Georges, and it says, oh, you know, so-and-so is here. It's just a grid of kind of very approachably handsome bearded men. And we say, oh, great, now I can go up to this person. I know it's safe because he is one of my own,

and we can have a conversation about, you know, the latest article in the Paris Review. But also, sometimes you might have to go to, like, you might have an obligation to attend like a carnival or like something, you know, something where it's like it's not your milieu. And so there's also a feature on the app where you can pair yourself with the closest Sam. Exactly. And then they can sort of provide, you know, social entree into this like low class kind of

disgusting, like slop-fest. Yeah, they can kind of like explain to you. You know what I mean? It's just different for my experience. Me and Sam and like the rest of us like this is true, we see each other at the gym. We're just like. And you know, I actually did. We have a gym for us.

Yeah, yeah. And the people I see there are Sam and Lamar Woods, who is also one of us. Yes, he is Carl's Sam. He's Charles Hayes. Well, I do, you know, I did actually know. I did in all earnestness, I knew that you and Sam went to the same gym. And I actually also know that Sam went to the gym's holiday party. Were you in attendance?

I was not at the holiday party. I did see it. I had norovirus. Because it's very unruly. That's right. Well, what I had to. Because there were no, George's at the holiday party.

No, no, we were not. A very serious illness. That's the only thing that could keep me. Well, the Sam community is very in person based. And I will say that that is somewhere we fall short.

You know, we are always on the app. We're always on the grid looking for the nearest people, whereas you guys are able to kind of unplug, you brick your phone and you go to the gym. Yeah, you're engaging with the world. And is it true, it's set up where like,

you have group chats in there, but every single group chat in the app is missing one person. And so you search it by an individual's name and then that sends you to the group chat that does not have that one person. So you can talk shit about that person. Yes, but I think that's healthy.

We just like phone calls. We just call each other up. Mm-hmm. Well, you know, different strokes. What was it like doing the Golden Globes with Mary Pepperoni? Mary Pepperoni, one of my oldest comedy friends. We've known each other for almost 10 years. Comedy friend.

Mm-hmm. I caught that. Everybody felt that. Something shifted. Not a friend. You know, is Mary Beth a George or a Sam, would you say? You know, you guys know her. To Benny, huh?

Oh, yes, Mary Beth and Benny. Which one's the George? Which one's the Sam? I sort of think Mary Beth is the George or something. She's the same. Yeah. Yeah. That's an easy one.

I think Mary Beth is on the grid. Mary Beth is on the grinder, the George Sean Grindr grid. She's going to every single group chat. She's saying he's ugly, he's fat. I do like, I don't know if Mary Beth will like hearing this. No, please. But I think she belongs over at our team. Really?

I think so. Interesting. Say more. She did the mayor stuff. Oh. she's more like earnest political advocacy, hearts really in the right place. Whereas we're actually secretly.

No, to be clear, I voted for Andrew Cuomo, and I would do it again. As that Sean illegally, because he doesn't actually live in New York City. Yeah, but I got to get out there. Anytime there's a vote going down, I have to feel like I'm a part of it. Well, a big part of the app

is sharing tips on how to do voter fraud in various purple states so we can turn them red. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, I guess in that sense, Maribeth is more of a Sam. Yeah, she's a little, yeah, she's not as committed to the cause as we are. Who did you talk to who you're going to be friends with after, you think?

So, well, for anyone who doesn't know what is referring to is that I, Marybeth and I worked on the red carpet of the golden gloat. For anyone who doesn't know. So I, this guy. I will say, actually, I have a story for you. And I am, I unfortunately do have to anonymize the people that are involved. At the after party. We'll figure it out.

I was making small talk with, get this, an A-list actress, A-list. Okay? Oscar nominee. Yes. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful, that narrowed the depth. No, I was a... Okay.

All right. Our fans are going to have a field day with this. They're going to figure that out. Now, get this, an A-list actor, male actor, walks into the room. Let's say his name is Rob. It wasn't. So she turns to me and she goes, oh, there is Rob. He's gay.

Wow. Have they appeared together? Not that I can think of off the top of my head. Certainly not in like a famous movie or a TV show. Wow. So here's my question. I genuinely have no idea to this day if she was joking. My three options are...

To this day, I mean it was like two days ago. Yeah, but it's all I've been thinking about. It's been a huge topic of conversation in the app. Okay. Yeah, we were trying to get to the bottom of this one. Do you think she was serious? Right. Right, that's what we do.

But we're not, not yet. Okay. Do you think she was serious? She was joking or she was sexually rejected by him, so she's being, it's like a self-defense. It's always that, isn't it? Is it ever anything else? Anytime a woman calls a being gay, it's because she wanted to jump his bones and he actually had a standard. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he's like, I'm not, yeah. Used to be a good thing. Wait, so you didn't follow up at all? What are you going to say? I don't know. I was like already kind of disoriented by talking to this like famous person. I'm not going to be like, okay, spell the T, sis. Like is he actually?

Wait, is she coming up and being like George from something? No, no, no, no, no. No, I would say I was invisible in a way that felt like almost like a liberating ego death in these environments. Like I, there was something about it that I actually wasn't offended by at all. Like, it was really amazing to kind of feel like I'm one with the air around me. Sort of adopt a, like, middle distance. Yes, completely. She couldn't really be, like, standing by herself at that time.

Yes, exactly, exactly. Talking to you was like being alone. Yeah, it was almost like, she kind of got, she's like, oh, gay guy, I kind of know, like, what to do with that. It was almost like she, like smelled something. Like, she smelled something. It was like, tomato leaf. But it was gay guy. Got it.

she said so in terms of people that no one was rude to me was that your original question you don't think so okay that's so interesting that you thought it was my question was who you're going to be friends with after oh yeah unfortunately i didn't connect you know who i actually connected with most is the inspirational podcaster mel robbins do you know who that is when you said no one's coming let them theory so i don't know no one's coming which Was our motto on the show for a while? Absolutely. The Gers are the adult.

And we really did that. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I still don't understand what let them theory is, but we had to, yeah. Well, let them theory is. So when I was, oh, maybe 13, I got a book called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for teens. Oh, for teens.

And it's all small stuff. They thought that you couldn't handle, don't sweat the small stuff, OG. I think that would have been a little advanced for me. And in the book, it talked about if you are... It's like having chicken soup for an adult soul. Needless to say, my mind went there as well. When you have only a teenage soul, like... The soup won't.

It could actually really hurt you if you do that. Yeah, the... Trying to fit that kind of chicken soup inside a teenage soul could actually permanently deform your soul. And so I was trying to just not suit the small stuff for teens. And there was a little tidbit in there where it said like, let's say you're driving. I think it was preparing me to maybe to start thinking about getting a driver's license. It said, you're driving and there's somebody going really fast and they're tailgating you.

And you want to get mad and try to block them or something. They said, all you do, somebody's driving like that? you move over to the side, over to the shoulder, and you say, friend, go have your accident somewhere else. It's not going to be with me. The way you're driving, you're going to be hurting for certain. And you can go do that with someone else.

I'm not going to engage with it. Now, I've never heard the let them theory. It sounds pretty similar. But it sounds like that's probably what it is. And she may just be sort of expanding one of the pages from Don't Sweets with the Small Stuff for teens, which is somebody's acting like that.

Let them. Let them. Bye. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I'm Drew Offalo. And I'm Dason Offoallo. And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins.

We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horse, stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.