Hollywood Handbook - Gianmarco Soresi, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

The Boys welcome GIANMARCO SORESI on the show to help him with his podcast theme music and hear his funniest jokes.Also check out Gianmarco's special!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So I don't know what you're going to do for your show if you're going to have a song or not. But like what we do on ours is we have a song and usually people. Woman singing. Yeah, there's a woman singing it because we're like embracing like, you know, obviously we're, have two men as hosts and a man producer and we want that female energy and yeah yeah today we do so want that female energy infused so that everyone knows like hey you're all welcome here uh so you may want to have a song and a guy sings it but i'll let him know guys it might be nice to have one like that that that that female presence yeah just so people can listen and be like okay this is actually

okay and then if it's if it's every episode that it's it's accounted for so I never need a female guest. That's what we've found is we, you know, I think we've kind of backed into having them every now and then, but for the most part, it's all men guests and that is fine because there's a woman singing the song. And it can be nice to start the show with like hearing a woman sing to you. I often found.

Thing your name. They would do that with comedy showcases where it would be, it would be an all white lineup, but they would have a black host. And in a way, you came into the illusion. It was actually a 50-50 show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because the number of times that you saw black person was equal to the number of times you saw a white comedian.

Yeah, and if you want to brag on this shit, like, it's totally fine to be like, I do showcases, like, you don't have to, you can bring that up a long way to it. Like, this show, we at, like, we celebrate our work and we can be a little proud of ourselves. Yeah, I think it's like you're here to promote something, right? And so we don't need to do the whole song and dance. I'm like, how do I connect this to what they were saying? And like, you know, in a way that also didn't feel totally connected to me, right? It was sort of a head scratcher. Yes.

Just go. Very racial. Just go, hey, okay, right out of the gate. Let me just tell you, I'm a guy who does showcases. So, like, I'm like kind of that dude. And like, you're dealing with some heavy artillery here. Yeah. Instead of like.

Instead of like making it like, because we were talking about gen. which is a topic we're very comfortable discussing. Oh, me too, I'm sisters. Yeah. So, yeah. Friends with sisters. Yeah, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've met sisters before. So the, but we don't, we didn't really want to talk about race because that is something that we are certainly today not able to.

Sure. I didn't ask the race of the singer for the song in the opening. Well, I can tell you, she's white, she's white as hell. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. big effort for you not to ask and i appreciate you not it's a thing i have when i hear a song i just and i all like it all the same it's just like yes i want to see the singer well you don't want to make

an assumption sure yeah but no she's she's she's fucking white as hell dude showcases but not just showcases right you can also like it's not like you're just like getting up there with a script you know you have your jokes written down that you're going to do yeah yeah yeah i'm planning topical what happened today let's talk about it yes you can do that but you can also like get up there and riff a little bit right oh yeah i'm i'm every show's its own thing yeah you know You're not getting the same show twice. Ours include our shows its own thing. And your show will be.

Your show will be too. Yeah. Where are we added with the song? In terms of like, what are we doing about the guy? We're keeping the guy. It's a man. Oh, well, it's a good friend of mine. So it would be a tough conversation.

Yeah. So, yeah, I listen to the theme song. And in my head, I'm just like, they must be really good friends. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. You know, hey, he knows this guy a favor. This guy.

This guy wasn't paid for making this. It was a favor. If he was truly a good friend, show Marco, it wouldn't be that tough a conversation. You know what I mean? Sure. Because you'd say, you're rooting for me. You want my success. You know that I need this show to put its best foot forward.

Songs kind of the first thing people hear. I don't want it to feel like it's just my friend doing it. But then I have to find a woman to sing the song and none of my sisters are singers. so where do I find a woman if not my immediate family right because then it becomes this thing of like okay what's their deal yeah now everyone's speculating now your tabloid father and if i'm already giving it for free how can i give it how can i pay even less than that and if we get our woman to do your show and she's singing someone else's name i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna scream i am going to scream you have an exclusive contract the woman who sang your song it was like this is it's implied just from like

the look on our faces, it's implied that it's exclusive. Yeah, we're like tearing up. It's not a lot of contracts in Hollywood and it's just like, you know what, that's fine, let's just make it squeezes. Yes, yes. So what's the guy's name? Douglas

Goodhart. Douglas. His name is actually Douglas Goodhart. It's actually Douglas Goodhart. It feels like a stage name. It does, it does, but it's real. He's Jewish, too, so I don't, I don't know. Maybe it used to be Goodhart's time. Yeah. And then for the podcast, you know, I wasn't going to ask about that. If he was Jewish. Sure, as you know, I have to establish before. Yeah, just in terms of like, it is a race. Just like the religion and the race being brought up all the time. Yeah. We kind of really wanted to focus this in on like, you've got sisters, so you understand that. Sure, sure. Yeah. Also Jewish. So let's. I mean, I think that's great. I think that rocks. Thank you. Let's talk to Douglas. Let's have the conversation. Okay. Right. I'm Douglas. You are letting me know that this arrangement is not going to work out going forward. Okay.

Okay. Shalom. And also with you. You know, your song has been five years now, I think. We're playing your song. Yeah, five years and one month and two days. Doug, honey. Yes, sweetie.

I need my medicine. my expensive medicine sweetie i i'm gonna get you your medicine i just need one more we need to make this one more song payment i feel like it's okay i feel like it's coming i feel like it's coming soon i said one more i should have said the first i'm feeling it happening again i think i think i'm actually having the conversation right now okay okay i get paid for the song okay okay jewish moms am i right i i need to tell you that Sorry, when she says, I feel it happening again, that's not her, like, becoming Jewish. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah. That's not, that's not, it's not like a. Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's with you no matter what. I can, I can speak as the other character. Yeah. Is that what it was happening? I didn't know it at the time. I didn't know what I meant.

You know what I mean? It just, like, something was speaking through me. Okay. Wow. And it may have been, you know, the Jewish God, I guess, that entered me. Yeah. It's, because you're not Jewish. I don't know.

But it's, that's, it's, that's okay. Am I even saying that right? Jewish. Oh, yeah. Jewish God. Oh, Jewish God. Yahweh. Yahweh.

Yahweh. But Jewish God works. The one true. Okay. Okay. I just want to make sure I'm using the right term when I talk about. Because apparently now, as I've embodied. character, I have felt her, I guess, her faith being reinvigorated, maybe because she's so

proud of her son and how much money he's about to make off the podcast song and the way that he's going to, obviously she nurtured him, took care of him as he was a child, and now he is repaying that favor. He's going to provide the medicine that she needs. So already this is going really badly. Because of you. I didn't even know about his mom and all this stuff going on. I didn't either until we got in the scene. Realize that he is about to lose the song from the show. He thinks he's about to be paid for the first time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the song. Okay. Um, uh, uh, Douglas, I, you know DEI is under attack. Yeah. And, uh, as, you know, New Yorker. we got to do our part

to keep it going strong and Doug honey yeah do you and your friend want an ethnic snack ooh I got a whole platter what

hey well what kind of ethnic snacks do you have oh they're specific to us yeah our culture that's a kind of thing with my family like we love snacks. Yeah.

You know what I mean? What are some of your favorite ethnic snacks? And we're like a family together. Yeah. You know, we have like, in our culture, we have like a mom and dad and.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. And like other family as well. And love snack. Love them. Mm-hmm. Do you have any guilta fish? Let me check.

Duggy, honey. Do I have any of that fish? Where do you check for that? Usually it's in a jar. Check the jar, Ma. Oh, wow. I can't read any of them because I got no medicine. Oh, wow.

That is a problem. It's gone to the eyes. Yes. That's tough. I'll have anything else you have, truly anything. You got it. Coming right up. Let me just heat it

Mm-hmm Heating stuff This is fine, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not like the matzah's going to rise We love a hot, we love hot snack Like you're good, good hot Oh, smoky hot snack Maybe any up some parsley

We could dip it into salt water Dip some parsley into salt water Okay, do you have any You have any salt water back there, Ma? Oh, sure. I hope you don't mind parsley in it. I prefer it that way.

I'm Jewish too. Us too. Yeah. You know, I know. Oh, it's happening again. Oh, no. It's happening again. She's turning again. So I'll say just like for this version of it, asking for a lot of stuff from his mom. I feel like as you are, I think, going to give him.

probably some disappointing news for everything you're asking for all this food you're right you're right um specific stuff Douglas yeah does your mom happen to sing

does my mom sing we love sing yes in our culture yeah we love to sing music so I had this I had the cool idea I feel like

it's like it's like, my audience, it's like, let's, they know you, they've heard you, yeah, let's get to know more about, about Douglas's extended family, let's, what like, what would it sound like if your mom sang the theme song? Okay, parsley submerged, here I come. Woo, I'm a rebel just for kicks, man. I'll be kicking it's his 1986 man. Oh my God. Is that the kind of thing you're looking for yeah i don't think we can there's a copyright thing i think for that song but it's the only song i know but she can do like she can do sound like she's really good at

sound to likes that's a specific skill that your jewish mom has is soundelisk you're about to hear a podcast okay uh-huh so let me propose this okay and it wouldn't affect our current financial agreement it would just transfer okay to your mom who it seems like your finances are pretty intertwined at this point yeah if she's taking care of the food you're taking care of the medicine what if your mom sang the song and that way i could check that beckdel test thing i don't know if that applies to podcasts well it depends on what she's singing about sure so we'd have to change the lyrics it can't just be about men yeah man yeah you guys Yeah.

Yeah. We could make it, we could make it a little bit more. What are the lyrics right now? Yeah, just to step out of the scene. What are the lyrics to the song? Right now the lyrics, let me think, downside, downside. Downside, two men podcasting is usually the best combo, downside. Mm-hmm.

And the show's called downside. I wouldn't want to lose that. Yeah. Yeah, well, let's back all the way up. what the fuck is the show the show is just kind of it's it's this it's this it's it's this right but we do it

wonder where he got that idea yeah yeah yeah so to be fair what you're doing radio did it first I mean what we're not what we're doing but I get what you mean not what we're doing but I get what you mean

yeah radio tried to do something kind of like what we're doing radio aspired to do something like this and I think they were feeling all around it weren't they? They're close they think they're doing something sure they're close somebody's gonna crack this yeah and then we started doing

this which has been pretty influential to a lot of people as you know they're actually doing it yes right and now other people are trying to do other people have yeah other people have come pretty close to doing and it sounds like you think you're gonna do it yeah which is great like radio they sat in chairs they're sitting in chairs yes they were sitting

in chairs. Yes, that's right. Which we would like to be able to do some day as well. No, obviously we're working our way up to chairs. That's one aspect of it that like we... They got that right. Yes. Yeah, radio had that right. You know, figure out spatially in this.

And I don't know how we, you know, we lost that technology at some time to be able to do this from chairs. I think what's, what you guys did that is so genius, you said, okay, you know, you know the term of you have a face for radio? Yeah. You said even, even with a face for radio. for radio I'm also gonna film it you said you said face for radio face for radio for radio can be a face four just to break it down so people are probably getting lost who are yeah listening to or watching this so the joke I'll call it I guess is that we are uniquely unattractive for I guess people who would be doing a podcast at all

and I would say that it's a very funny joke and a lot of the humor to me comes from how absurd the statement is. I do want to mention that Kevin told us before we started that you had a hard out and I under my breath said, not going to be that hard. The guy could leave right now if he wants. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I, uh, I worry that I've caused offense. I want to be clear. I didn't say that you had a uniquely four podcasters. Let me just say this.

Right. For podcasters, let me underline that three times. Yeah. Four podcasters, you guys are fine. Totally. So I mischaracterized

part of it. It was face for radio. Right. But that all podcasters essentially you're saying have a face for radio. Yes. And we're all filming it now, aren't we?

Yes. You have to clip it. You've been suggested for me. Mm-hmm. Almost every day. day you get suggested for me. These clips come up. I know. My phone says, just a suggestion. This man. And I pay handsomely

for Apple to build on your mind. Let me ask you have you given any more thought to this man? It'll ask. Just it's just a suggestion. You remember people really, it's, I have a deal with the social media. The way that they had that iPod and the YouTube album came on it automatically. Yes. to adopt that strategy.

Did you say YouTube? U2? Okay. YouTube. Though you have to wonder, it does seem close. It does seem very close. Yeah, they're both forcing their content on us. YouTube penetrated our catalog, didn't it?

And they're doing well. And they put you on there. You're in the feed. I'm in the feed. And I've got my bib. Yeah. My knife and fork. I'm banging the table.

Oh, yes. I can't. Wait, I need it now. My question is, provide the feed. And I am. With no one at all. I say to an audience member, I say hi, they say hi, clip. Why is it called downside?

Because I, I. And believe me, I know, but. Yeah, I guess it's a place that we complain. It's a safe space to be negative. I often find we live in a world where people act like things are better than they are. I thought you were doing what we're doing. Oh. When I asked what the show was, you said it was basically this.

Yeah, basically. But now you're saying it's a place to complain. Well, yeah, we had to add, you know, we say that. We have to have a hook. I can't call it to two white guys talking. Yes, that's right. If I could, I would. We have like, here's what the show is about, but then we don't, like, you know, like, just do whatever.

Come on. I think, honestly, all podcasts, the title should just be number of hosts, their gender, their race. Mm-hmm. but two dope queens sure i mean that's close to what i'm suggesting let me ask you when you're in these clips

i'm seeing this right yes do you know two bears one cave too two bears one cave that's a safe for example yeah do you know that you felt unsafe

around the two dope queens no i just i'm i'm more fine going two bears you're I don't I mean you're the one who introduced to this entire show we weren't going to talk about race at all yeah no I would imagine that you guys were going to talk

about men and win it just doesn't come up you know what I mean I can imagine that the fact is it just like to avoid it's just like no it's not intentional it just like never ever enters the conversation I would believe that you two have never thought about race in your entire life why would it ever

it just it truly doesn't come up I mean, it hasn't come up, so You must have been so confused, did you say, wait, what lives matter? You hadn't even thought of it. I don't even know what the reference is. I'm lost. But I, you know, I believe you. I'm just, yeah.

I do want to talk about these clips because I want to, like, be in them someday. You know what I mean? Sure. Sure. Me and a clip. We talk about this. We talk about like, me and a clip. Yeah. Like the tickets are for sale now.

How it will happen. Uh-huh. How like we are going to be in a clip someday. We're going to make it. Every single morning. Like we. Somebody's clipping me today. I have to say,

like today is the day. We're like, we are going to be in one of these clips. Yeah. Yeah. But my question is like, Good morning, sunshine. Do you know when I'm watching it and you're in there,

do you know, can you feel that? yeah like not you but like does your guy it's like your guy in there so does your guy feel that does he know i'm watching him yeah i i can feel like i'm sure you know that when someone's talking about you they say you your ears your ears are burning your ears are burning yeah um i can tell like i know a video has gone viral my left nipple gets a little hard okay and i and i go i go is it cold because if it's cold sometimes it's not if it's cold over there yeah if it's cold like specifically on one side yeah but if it's if it's like this i go clipped it well today

interesting i don't even need to check it this and you're control are you controlling your guy while he's in there when i'm looking at him are you making him do that are you making him do that i'm i'm like you know some people send positive vibes i send funny vibes oh so so i don't necessarily like that can we stop for a minute people talk about positive vibes right yeah and that's like stay positive or like he's got good vibes but we never really until now talk about sending funny vibes to your guy in the clip yeah hollywood handbook hey there ladies and germs is we all know that subscription costs can stack up quickly. And with fall sports here, it's the time of year when you might be actually getting some of

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It's the one who said everything in motion. Sure. And is putting out different kinds of vibes. morning vibes yeah god i call him yahway uh or them you know uh either everything or nothing right so it's not so you can not believe in it good luck or you can say hey it's all of it set it all in motion and it's positive vibes but it's also funny vibes because they don't get talked about enough i agree like when you know if a friend is ill or you know if a parent you know my my grandmas in hospice or whatever and people say I'm sending positive vibes I always go well

clearly that's been covered yeah you don't need more so I write them I say hey I'm sending funny vibes to your grandma oh yeah I mean it's not it's not like I don't think you know we're not gonna fix it you hear you I hear she's sick laugh like yeah let's go I'm sending her some funny vibes yeah yeah yeah to grandma to dying grandma yeah hospital grade hospital opioid funniness to like really move things along you know what I mean

it's not like we're going to send some of my positive vibes like she's going to make it we're all going to die let's not drag this out any longer than it has to let's send vibes so funny that we're like

we get this done today I have a smile on your face everyone listening is your last words are ha ha ha right sarcastic That's my real laugh.

This has come up on the show before. That's how I laugh. That's how I laugh when something's really funny. Ha, ha, ha. And you'll hear that and my hope is. A little clap. And when something's really, really funny, he'll do that laugh. On my deathbed and my family around me and I peacefully.

Ha, ha, ha. You know, that I'm just losing it at something that just really tickles me. That's a much better sound than my grandma made. So I do think people... Do you want to do the sound for us now? Would it help you heal? That was it, huh? That was goodbye.

There was a clap too. She clapped too. So weak. So weak. I don't know like she really summoned a lot of energy to do a clap like that. It's almost like a sorority. It does. Yeah, it feels like the beginning of some kind of choreography.

Yeah, I think it probably took about a year off. But that's what she wanted. Yeah. She wanted to do that little clap. So when you're in a clip and I'm moving it up, is that, is that squishing you? Is that, like, you jump over it? No offense to the clip, but sometimes I need to see another one. You're wearing, like, athletic shorts a lot and, like, you're wearing them now.

and I like yeah in the clips and I wonder if that's because you need to like jump over it when yeah you got to move out you got to be able to move yeah I mean it's I'm going I'm going I'm swiping up I'm swiping up I'm I'm a lot of favorites you can feel that you can feel the favorites happening too you know that's why that's why it's a heart because I go I feel it right if I check my pulse it's sometimes I go am I having a heart attack or am I going viral every single time got hard nipple it's making your heart do an extra beat yeah your team call you every time you go viral i've told them to stop yeah you have there's only so many thank you as you can get i go i got to your team calls you and says thank you for going so viral yeah oh yeah

the first time it's nice but then you're like guys at some point this has to become normal for us because i'm doing it a lot so like can you stop calling me say thank you for going so the time yeah it's it's it's it's also it's every it's for a while it was every agent at wm not just even my immediate team right it would be the whole it's a big squad because for them a big squad and then once you know once they bought ufc suddenly i got ufc fighters saying thank you all their clients wow yeah so it's just non-stop to camera during a match it's like that's leaving you very exposed

it's like first of all finish the match yeah it's not good for our clients to be so exposed by turning straight to camera and thanking Jean Marco for going so viral yeah the winners and the losers the winners would be like John Marco inspired me you know his funniness his viral clips

like that gave me something to fight for and the losers would go the only reason I let my guard down was because I was remembering something funny Jean Marco said when he was going so viral and that's why I got punched and it was worth it it's like a really

it's a really cool position to be in but again it's a lot of responsibility a lot of pressure and I can see why you ask them to just tone it down they were doing for a while instead of tapping out for a hold they would go thank you thank you thank you they were clapping out

thank you thank you thank you oh my gosh and I'd say I say guys let it be about the sport yeah what's the funniest thing you've ever said oh god the funniest thing I've ever said I you're going viral every day

is a lot to pick from give me six I feel like maybe I put too much pressure knowing it down to one yeah six funniest things you've ever said okay one

my my girlfriend there was a I was doing laundry I love this area I love this area so relatable funny stuff is not even it's not on stage is it

of course you were filming it the same time i mean i i cameras everywhere in there i wish my life has a series of moments that should have been clipped yeah i only wish i think about my youth yeah and i go oh the clips the stuff on the clipping room floor yes the full horizontals the short verticals the long verticals so much stand up now when people are like i was on my way here and like i ran into this guy and he was telling me this it was like well just show me i see so much many clips of people talking on the street just show me that

don't be like this happened before yeah like there's a guy with a camera there just show me that clip stories just show me the thing I hear with my mom and in the morning she said good morning and I was like hit record hit record

yeah and then and then she said what do you mean I said mom I'm making a clip and this was a clip just now yeah yes just now and we missed it just she missed it so funniest things six funniest so there was the laundry area

with your girlfriend which I'm already ready to laugh yeah so in unit I send out and bring back okay so you're in the area where fluff and fold yeah yeah yeah you were in the area of your house where you

mail your laundry we have we have a specific room for laundry bringing back bringing back different from the sending out area? A laundry receiving area. So you, I think. Because one is clean, the other is dirty. Yeah, there's a stereotype about New York apartments being small,

but they're really not when you're rich. You have areas for, yeah, just like sending out different kinds of delivery. Yeah, I've noticed that. I've seen some huge, but, yeah, we don't know about that. Yeah. I've seen some huge news. York apartments and I do go well this isn't small like what are all these people talking about and I think you've identified exactly what it is yeah I think it's it's poor people it's yeah it's

tied it's the the apartment size is often tied to the financial yeah yeah yeah yeah then just say that you know yeah yeah don't say a new york apartments are small say I am poor yeah just say I don't have much fast yeah yeah yeah I'm a broke ass that's a better thing you know Hey, I'm a broke ass. And I did it to myself. I deserve it. Yeah. I'm not working hard enough.

I didn't want it enough. So I got the laundry back and there was a pair of panties that looked like they had been through the ringer. You've been around for a couple of decades. The Ringer NBA podcast. And I just even. So first of all. And that's just the setup. He's got a top six now.

showman when he said the Rigger NBA podcast about the panties have been through there listening to the Ringer NBA podcast would do to a pair of panties. You see it like a head phone? They get soaked are on like this part listening to the Ringer or they're a guest. Oh the panties are listening? Oh I thought that's what

when I was taking it to building a world. That's interesting. I was thinking of just like a human wearing the panties listening to a complete episode of the Ringer NBA podcast would then afterwards have to send the panties. The number of cycles of hair. I was going like in a Pixar way. Panties would go through a period of full episode.

In your version, they were a character. It's a Pixar. They were like, yeah. And we're talking to like the NBA player's socks. It's a new character in Inside Out. Yes. Inside Out panties. And you know what emotion they are. Lust for the Ringer NBA podcast hosts.

Sure. Which, you know, as the character goes through puberty, right, there was envy and there was these new things added and the next probably if they do a third one they will have to deal with the sort of hormonal passionate lust we all feel when we listen to certain podcasts namely the ringer NBA podcast and grief because Kevin O'Connor left yeah um so I picked up the that's the mismatch it's a it's a ringer NBA podcast and he was on it a lot yeah and I don't I don't know if there's more than one. I like Kevin O'Connor was never on the Ringer NBA podcast.

He was on there. I don't follow sports much, so I'm a little lost, but I picked up the... Can I give you a suggestion to where to start? If you just want to get a sort of overview of them, just to like a place where they discuss sports in a way that I think is very accessible and slightly erotic. Ringer NBA podcast. Sure.

But go ahead. So the panties, I guess, we're looking insane, right? Yeah. And I picked them up and I said, these new? And what did they look like? What happened to her? Yeah, what did they look like? What happened to them?

And what happened to her? I mean, they looked, you know, they looked like, what the fuck? Yeah. Like, like, you know. But in what way? Like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it's all, like, material. Yeah. It's all copy. It's like, you know, you know, you have a pillow that's been around a long time.

And it's not, you know, it's not all, yeah, stains per se, but just you go, it's a lot of different colors. And this was definitely not the, well, you can, it definitely doesn't look new. Definitely, definitely doesn't look new. Right. Yeah. a string a string is missing a seam is broken and they understand you if you got this at a store yeah you'd go wait a second out when you said this did she freak out it was it it it it took a while before she took a while so yeah yeah yeah she didn't get it at first she was like I mean she had to say

no right I I I don't have a girlfriend so I yeah yeah I don't know what they do really no she she was pretty She was pretty honest. She couldn't, she couldn't figure out a way to build on top of the bit. You know, if I was dating myself, if only, I would have done. Yes, those are new. It's from the, I'm just off the top of my head now, but like those are, that's from the, such and such thing. Victoria's Secret got out a long time ago store.

Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Victoria's Secret got out a long time ago store. store and her secret is that the new panties yeah it's like it's hang on we're getting there so many people know about they know the secrets out yeah Victoria's open secret that's become worn yeah that's an old that's old news it's old that's like like like like you know like an old newspaper it's all to wrap fish.

It's like distressed denim or something, right? Where you're buying them pre- Right. And they have to be known about to be distressed. To be so worn out like that. Yeah. It wouldn't be a secret. Yeah.

Okay. So. And that's what you would have said. If you were dating yourself. By the way, we've all wished that sometimes, haven't we? Just to have someone we could really like. Just farm. Yes.

you know what I mean someone who gets it and be in love with you know what I mean like someone who like who would know like it's like you don't understand like has actually shared experiences yeah yeah

it would know physically like exactly exactly what I think what you want what I'm actually yes interested in yes yes that would be nice

that would be good so is that number six or is that number one that was number one okay Um, but the, the, the second, yeah, second, uh, second, uh, same day, tension or tied. Oh, same day.

Wow. So, uh, this was a very funny day for you. It was. This would have been, oh, if you could have only one day to clip. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my, if I could have clipped this. Same day before or after, because I can see a version where like the second funniest one is getting you warmed up for the first or I can see a version where you're absolutely spent.

cashed out and all you can deliver is this is going to surprise you then can i ask something though were they new uh you know i you know i never got to the bottom of it i never got to the bottom of it i i you know she was laughing so much because he didn't really say what was wrong if you had been there like what they like he didn't want to seemingly couldn't yeah but if you had been there you were saying i would go yeah they're new they're from this store which i didn't really get the store part. You didn't get the store part? No.

It wasn't the name of the store that I knew. It was different from the name of the store that I Sure. Again, just to be clear, like, sometimes when you riff and it's not in the moment, it doesn't, what if it was, okay, these new? I want to get to the second funniest thing. I just really want to make sure that number one, we understand. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just, I've tried to promise. Especially since it is the same day. And so now we're establishing. I don't know that I can move on to like, Is it like later in the day? Was it before or after? The second funny is?

Yeah. Oh, it's after and it'll make sense. So I, let's say, okay, how about this, this new?

This new? These new? Yeah. They're from forever 81. And that's you? That's me if I was dating me. Yes. Okay.

Like a, I think would a bill. Is 81 an age or is 81? an apostrophe in the number 81 like it's like 1981 oh I was thinking Forever 21 is that about the age so Forever 21

is that the clothes are 21 years old I think it's that oh I'm 20 this is how a 21 year old dresses right I hope and so but for for but so the panties then were new

there's a podcast called Forever 35 but an old person was wearing them i guess the concept being like i imagine most old people and this could be a stereotype i've only slept with several but that they have panties that are those sometimes they come off so fast you don't even like get a chance to be like well hang on yeah let me investigate let me actually like gather information about the world like and then share later exactly They're like, no. So I think of, it's all material, you know.

I mean, it's literally material when it's panties, you know. But it's also all material for you as a comic mind. They send them straight to the laundry sending out area. Sorry, I'm just not, it's like sometimes it's just crank it out, cranks it out, cranky out, I can see he's got something. And the top six might even change. Like, if we really get a good one here. I'd love to get something on here that makes the top set up.

But I'm not ready to be in a clip today, actually. So don't do that. that today because I'm not okay ready because I'm yeah I'll just I won't act it out I'll just say it yeah these new um yes I got them uh from the triangle waist shirt factory fire waste shirt factory well is that what it is fire triangle shirt I don't know I don't know are you trying to do it wrong for because you did it with the first two names is that supposed to be like forever 81 no this is kind of this this is a pivot for sure okay this is more um uh what's a place

that like like because they look they could have been burnt burned in a fire burned in a fire I'm now able to picture them triangle shirt waste yeah challenge shirt waste so they've been burned up so they're yeah I think I think they're hot coloration could be could be and that can happen and straight from the dryer they could have been hot and in a way kind of yeah and now I'm actually certain that your girlfriend listens to the ringer and be a podcast yeah yeah she's she's a fan having as I that she's jannies with big flame holes like burn marks from like it getting so hot downstairs yeah yeah nobody but chris vernon's doing that mm-hmm i've always asked whenever we we make love she and i've decided to make that the NBA podcast thank you yeah so that makes sense

mm-hmm i i i didn't know she has headphones in she has headphones in when we make love and and uh she said um she said i'm not listening anything just in there for later there are these like bone conductor headphones where basically uh they're just pressed against the temple they could be disguised under a hat or something and so it doesn't look like you have anything in your ears but you are actually getting the audio transmitted well the women don't have to wear the hat for the jewish thing i would this was not a reference to any sort of like this was not about Judaism

at all. It was really a way to work in that Hayes' nickname in high school was the bone conductor. Is that so? Yeah, the bone conductor. The bone collector was a movie that had come out around that time.

Sure. I'm familiar with the movie. I mean, I've one of my, I think one of the best from the 90s. Yeah. I guess I mean this is calling into question there are a lot of movies in the 90s yeah there were just so many

you see them all well I didn't I guess it's for you it sounds like it's top six yeah which is how I do all my did you see every single one yeah I would say I would say ironically the six one I can't compete was good

can I ask you something so you said she listens to headphones in the act yes and I don't want to like ask you this is your girlfriend i don't want to like pry too much into your relationship but do she i already know about her panties right yeah at least new does she ever say i'm kevin o'coming how do you know that she says i'm kevin okovic at the at the end yeah okay she told me that's just

a thing that she's always said is that that's in reference to a particular person it's unfortunately it's in reference to a dynamic on the show where before he actually left the show uh the other host would introduce him and say with my co-host Kevin O and he would some he would do a play on his name sometimes a series of them sometimes there'd be you know I wait I just thought Kevin O Corny Kevin O Conflict yeah Kevin O Concerre yeah Kevin O Concerce yeah Kevin O Concercy Kevin Oh, Concer was a huge one. Yes. Yes.

I guess I had. Because he wanted to blow it up. Every time I've seen a woman come, she said another man's name. Wow. Okay. That's, so I just assumed. So you just thought that she was saying, I'm Kevin O'Ccoming. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. What did you assume, I guess? I'm just saying, like, like, you know, the girlfriend before that, she'd say, I'm O'Neill O'Kuming. O'Neill O'Cuman. Wow. Yeah. That's very specific. That, yeah, that is.

Did I know what I'm saying? Are you saying, I'm Anthony Coomy and you've never seen a... She didn't... That's a tough one. Yeah. Yeah, that is. She said O'Neill Okumann. Was she a basketball fit?

She didn't say like, I'm Shakubing O'Neil or anything. Or she coming, David? Yeah, sure. I mean, what if, what if women you've been not deprived of your own personalize, but what names have women you've been with said? I'm on record, I said. I don't have a girlfriend. Sure.

Yeah. So. And I, so. I'm kind of like Kevin O'Connor. Like, I am on record also. Like, they do not understand what I want. You know what I mean? Like, they don't know how it feels like to be me and have my body.

I'm interested in. potentially dating me, which we don't have that. Sure. Yeah. And being able to riff with myself a little bit. You know, I'm going to the closest thing I can right now. You know, and with you. I'm with you. Sure. Sure. Yes, I mean, I've, again, I have a limited

sample size. There's probably three women. I've seen come. First one said, I'm Alan Kumi. Say that one again. The first one said what? They said, I I'm Alan Coombe. Alan Cooming.

Wow, she's working kind of... We're kind of hard to change the sound of the name, which I feel like it's closer to... It feels like for a while they were all saying cooming. Then they started saying, like, in the most recent version, they were saying, I'm Kevin O'Coming. I'm Kevin O'Cohman. But for a while in your life, everyone was saying Coombing. I'm O'Neill O'Cuming. O'Neill O'Coh.

Maybe I've never made a woman come. I've made them just Coo. I'm Alan Cooming. Well, Cooming feels incredible. Yeah. I'm told. You know, I don't have a girlfriend, so. Is it happening, or are you getting the extra heartbeats right now?

How many did you get during this? It's hard to tell between the anxiety of, have I ever made a woman, coom? Yeah. Or come Or am I going viral? Or am I going viral? Yeah. That's got to be confusing.

Well, let's get your second funniest thing and then let's get out of here. Yeah, we got to get the second funniest thing. Sure. So then I picked up a pair of socks that were hers. The laundry is just paying so many dividends. Sure. No wonder you're like, I'll unpack the laundry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know there's gold in there. And you stand over here. Just like, don't leave the room. Yeah, be here because I'm going to have funny comments, but don't, but I'll do it. And, and, yeah. What are they looking like? They're new. Are these things new?

They're looking. I don't want to step on your. No, they're looking like, they're looking like they were made at Abercrombie and yuk. Oh, wow, yuc. Abercrombie, which, by the way, she didn't say, she didn't think to say. She didn't think to say. I'm saying if I was dating myself, that's what I would have said. Yeah, funny.

But instead, what did you say? What did you say about the socks? Because so far you've just picked them up, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't get to the comment, yeah. I said, I, well, because remember, this came after the panties of panties. So I said, I said, what about these? Bye.

Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a headgum podcast.