Hollywood Handbook - Gianmarco Soresi, Our Close Friend
Episode Date: October 14, 2025The Boys welcome GIANMARCO SORESI on the show to help him with his podcast theme music and hear his funniest jokes.Also check out Gianmarco's special!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video o...f today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So I don't know what you're going to do for your show if you're going to have a song or not.
But like what we do on ours is we have a song and usually people.
Woman singing.
Yeah, there's a woman singing it because we're like embracing like, you know, obviously we're,
have two men as hosts and a man producer and we want that female energy and yeah yeah today we do
so want that female energy infused so that everyone knows like hey you're all welcome here uh so you may want
to have a song and a guy sings it but i'll let him know guys it might be nice to have one like that
that that that female presence yeah just so people can listen and be like okay this is actually
okay and then if it's if it's every episode that it's it's accounted for
so I never need a female guest.
That's what we've found is we, you know,
I think we've kind of backed into having them every now and then,
but for the most part,
it's all men guests and that is fine because there's a woman singing the song.
And it can be nice to start the show with like hearing a woman sing to you.
I often found.
Thing your name.
They would do that with comedy showcases where it would be,
it would be an all white lineup,
but they would have a black host.
And in a way,
you came into the illusion.
It was actually a 50-50 show.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because the number of times that you saw black person was equal to the number of times you saw a white comedian.
Yeah, and if you want to brag on this shit, like, it's totally fine to be like, I do showcases, like, you don't have to, you can bring that up a long way to it.
Like, this show, we at, like, we celebrate our work and we can be a little proud of ourselves.
Yeah, I think it's like you're here to promote something, right?
And so we don't need to do the whole song and dance.
I'm like, how do I connect this to what they were saying?
And like, you know, in a way that also didn't feel totally connected to me, right?
It was sort of a head scratcher.
Yes.
Just go.
Very racial.
Just go, hey, okay, right out of the gate.
Let me just tell you, I'm a guy who does showcases.
So, like, I'm like kind of that dude.
And like, you're dealing with some heavy artillery here.
Yeah.
Instead of like.
Instead of like making it like, because we were talking about gen.
which is a topic we're very comfortable discussing.
Oh, me too, I'm sisters.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Friends with sisters.
Yeah, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've met sisters before.
So the, but we don't, we didn't really want to talk about race because that is something that we are certainly today not able to.
Sure.
I didn't ask the race of the singer for the song in the opening.
Well, I can tell you, she's white, she's white as hell.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
big effort for you not to ask and i appreciate you not it's a thing i have when i hear a song i just
and i all like it all the same it's just like yes i want to see the singer well you don't want to make
an assumption sure yeah but no she's she's she's fucking white as hell dude showcases but not just
showcases right you can also like it's not like you're just like getting up there with a script
you know you have your jokes written down that you're going to do yeah yeah yeah i'm planning
topical what happened today let's talk about it yes you can do that but you can also like get up
there and riff a little bit right oh yeah i'm i'm every show's its own thing yeah you know
You're not getting the same show twice.
Ours include our shows its own thing.
And your show will be.
Your show will be too.
Yeah.
Where are we added with the song?
In terms of like, what are we doing about the guy?
We're keeping the guy.
It's a man.
Oh, well, it's a good friend of mine.
So it would be a tough conversation.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I listen to the theme song.
And in my head, I'm just like, they must be really good friends.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
You know, hey, he knows this guy a favor.
This guy.
This guy wasn't paid for making this.
It was a favor.
If he was truly a good friend, show Marco, it wouldn't be that tough a conversation.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
Because you'd say, you're rooting for me.
You want my success.
You know that I need this show to put its best foot forward.
Songs kind of the first thing people hear.
I don't want it to feel like it's just my friend doing it.
But then I have to find a woman to sing the song and none of my sisters are singers.
so where do I find a woman if not my immediate family right because then it becomes this thing
of like okay what's their deal yeah now everyone's speculating now your tabloid father and if i'm already
giving it for free how can i give it how can i pay even less than that and if we get our woman to do
your show and she's singing someone else's name i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna scream i am going to scream
you have an exclusive contract the woman who sang your song it was like this is it's implied just from like
the look on our faces, it's implied
that it's exclusive. Yeah,
we're like tearing up. It's not a lot of contracts
in Hollywood and it's just
like, you know what, that's fine, let's just make it
squeezes. Yes, yes.
So what's
the guy's name? Douglas
Goodhart. Douglas. His name is actually
Douglas Goodhart. It's actually
Douglas Goodhart. It feels like a stage name. It does, it does, but it's
real. He's Jewish, too, so I don't, I don't know.
Maybe it used to be Goodhart's time. Yeah.
And then for the podcast, you know, I wasn't going to ask about that. If he was Jewish. Sure, as you know, I have to establish before. Yeah, just in terms of like, it is a race. Just like the religion and the race being brought up all the time. Yeah. We kind of really wanted to focus this in on like, you've got sisters, so you understand that. Sure, sure. Yeah. Also Jewish. So let's. I mean, I think that's great. I think that rocks. Thank you. Let's talk to Douglas. Let's have the conversation. Okay. Right. I'm Douglas.
You are letting me know that this arrangement is not going to work out going forward.
Okay.
Okay.
Shalom.
And also with you.
You know, your song has been five years now, I think.
We're playing your song.
Yeah, five years and one month and two days.
Doug, honey.
Yes, sweetie.
I need my medicine.
my expensive medicine sweetie i i'm gonna get you your medicine i just need one more we need to make
this one more song payment i feel like it's okay i feel like it's coming i feel like it's coming
soon i said one more i should have said the first i'm feeling it happening again i think i think
i'm actually having the conversation right now okay okay i get paid for the song okay okay jewish moms
am i right i i need to tell you that
Sorry, when she says, I feel it happening again, that's not her, like, becoming Jewish.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
That's not, that's not, it's not like a.
Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's with you no matter what.
I can, I can speak as the other character.
Yeah.
Is that what it was happening?
I didn't know it at the time.
I didn't know what I meant.
You know what I mean?
It just, like, something was speaking through me.
Okay.
Wow.
And it may have been, you know, the Jewish God, I guess, that entered me.
Yeah.
It's, because you're not Jewish.
I don't know.
But it's, that's, it's, that's okay.
Am I even saying that right?
Jewish.
Oh, yeah.
Jewish God.
Oh, Jewish God.
Yahweh.
Yahweh.
Yahweh.
But Jewish God works.
The one true.
Okay.
Okay.
I just want to make sure I'm using the right term when I talk about.
Because apparently now, as I've embodied.
character, I have felt her, I guess, her faith being reinvigorated, maybe because she's so
proud of her son and how much money he's about to make off the podcast song and the way that
he's going to, obviously she nurtured him, took care of him as he was a child, and now he is
repaying that favor. He's going to provide the medicine that she needs. So already this is going
really badly. Because of you. I didn't even know about his mom and all
this stuff going on.
I didn't either until we got in the scene.
Realize that he is about to lose the song from the show.
He thinks he's about to be paid for the first time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For the song.
Okay.
Um, uh, uh, Douglas, I,
you know DEI is under attack.
Yeah.
And, uh, as, you know, New Yorker.
we got to do our part
to keep it going strong
and Doug
honey
yeah
do you and your friend want an ethnic snack
ooh
I got a whole platter
what
hey well what kind of ethnic snacks do you have
oh they're specific to us
yeah
our culture
that's a kind of thing with
my family like we love
snacks.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
What are some of your favorite ethnic snacks?
And we're like a family
together.
Yeah.
You know, we have like,
in our culture,
we have like a mom and dad and.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah.
And like other family as well.
And love snack.
Love them.
Mm-hmm.
Do you have any guilta fish?
Let me check.
Duggy, honey.
Do I have any of that fish?
Where do you check for that?
Usually it's in a jar.
Check the jar, Ma.
Oh, wow.
I can't read any of them because I got no medicine.
Oh, wow.
That is a problem.
It's gone to the eyes.
Yes.
That's tough.
I'll have anything else you have, truly anything.
You got it.
Coming right up.
Let me just heat it
Mm-hmm
Heating stuff
This is fine, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not like the matzah's going to rise
We love a hot, we love hot snack
Like you're good, good hot
Oh, smoky hot snack
Maybe any up some parsley
We could dip it into salt water
Dip some parsley into salt water
Okay, do you have any
You have any salt water back there, Ma?
Oh, sure.
I hope you don't mind
parsley in it.
I prefer it that way.
I'm Jewish too. Us too.
Yeah. You know, I know.
Oh, it's happening again.
Oh, no.
It's happening again.
She's turning again.
So I'll say just like for this version of it, asking for a lot of stuff from his mom.
I feel like as you are, I think, going to give him.
probably some disappointing news
for everything you're asking for all this
food you're right you're right um
specific stuff
Douglas
yeah
does your mom
happen to sing
does my mom sing
we love sing
yes in our culture
yeah we love
to sing
music so I had this
I had the cool idea
I feel like
it's like it's
like, my audience, it's like, let's, they know you, they've heard you, yeah, let's get to
know more about, about Douglas's extended family, let's, what like, what would it sound like
if your mom sang the theme song? Okay, parsley submerged, here I come. Woo, I'm a rebel just
for kicks, man. I'll be kicking it's his 1986 man. Oh my God. Is that the kind of thing you're
looking for
yeah i don't think we can there's a copyright thing i think for that song
but it's the only song i know but she can do like she can do sound like she's really good at
sound to likes that's a specific skill that your jewish mom has is soundelisk you're about to hear a podcast
okay uh-huh so let me propose this okay and it wouldn't affect our current financial
agreement it would just transfer okay to your mom who it seems like your
finances are pretty intertwined at this point yeah if she's taking care of the food you're taking
care of the medicine what if your mom sang the song and that way i could check that beckdel test thing
i don't know if that applies to podcasts well it depends on what she's singing about sure so we'd
have to change the lyrics it can't just be about men yeah man yeah you guys
Yeah.
Yeah.
We could make it, we could make it a little bit more.
What are the lyrics right now?
Yeah, just to step out of the scene.
What are the lyrics to the song?
Right now the lyrics, let me think, downside, downside.
Downside, two men podcasting is usually the best combo, downside.
Mm-hmm.
And the show's called downside.
I wouldn't want to lose that.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, let's back all the way up.
what the fuck is the show
the show is just
kind of it's it's this
it's this it's it's this right but we do it
wonder where he got that idea
yeah yeah
yeah so
to be fair what you're doing
radio did it first
I mean what we're
not what we're doing but I get what you mean
not what we're doing but I get what you mean
yeah radio tried to do
something kind of like what we're doing
radio aspired to do something like
this and I think they were feeling all around
it weren't they? They're close
they think they're doing something sure
they're close somebody's gonna crack this
yeah and then we started doing
this which has been pretty influential
to a lot of people as you know
they're actually doing it yes right
and now other people are trying to do other people
have yeah other people have come pretty close to doing
and it sounds like you think you're gonna do it yeah which is great
like radio they sat in
chairs they're sitting in chairs yes they were sitting
in chairs. Yes, that's right.
Which we would like to be able to do some day as well.
No, obviously we're working our way up to chairs.
That's one aspect of it that like we...
They got that right.
Yes.
Yeah, radio had that right.
You know, figure out spatially in this.
And I don't know how we, you know, we lost that technology at some time to be able to do this from chairs.
I think what's, what you guys did that is so genius, you said, okay, you know, you know the term of you have a face for radio?
Yeah.
You said even, even with a face for radio.
for radio I'm also gonna film it you said you said face for radio face for radio
for radio can be a face four just to break it down so people are probably getting lost
who are yeah listening to or watching this so the joke I'll call it I guess is that
we are uniquely unattractive for I guess people who would be doing a podcast at all
and I would say that it's a very
funny joke and a lot of the humor to me comes from how absurd the statement is.
I do want to mention that Kevin told us before we started that you had a hard out and I
under my breath said, not going to be that hard. The guy could leave right now if he wants.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I, uh, I worry that I've caused offense. I want to be clear. I didn't say that you
had a uniquely
four podcasters.
Let me just say this.
Right.
For podcasters, let me underline
that three times.
Yeah.
Four podcasters,
you guys are fine.
Totally.
So I mischaracterized
part of it.
It was face for radio.
Right.
But that all podcasters
essentially you're saying
have a face for radio.
Yes.
And we're all filming it now, aren't we?
Yes.
You have to clip it.
You've been suggested for me.
Mm-hmm.
Almost every day.
day you get suggested for me. These clips come up.
I know. My phone says, just a suggestion.
This man. And I pay handsomely
for Apple to build on your mind. Let me ask you
have you given any more thought to this man?
It'll ask. Just it's just a suggestion.
You remember people really, it's, I have a deal
with the social media. The way that
they had that iPod and the YouTube album came on it
automatically. Yes.
to adopt that strategy.
Did you say YouTube?
U2?
Okay.
YouTube.
Though you have to wonder, it does seem close.
It does seem very close.
Yeah, they're both forcing their content on us.
YouTube penetrated our catalog, didn't it?
And they're doing well.
And they put you on there.
You're in the feed.
I'm in the feed.
And I've got my bib.
Yeah.
My knife and fork.
I'm banging the table.
Oh, yes.
I can't.
Wait, I need it now.
My question is, provide the feed.
And I am.
With no one at all.
I say to an audience member, I say hi, they say hi, clip.
Why is it called downside?
Because I, I.
And believe me, I know, but.
Yeah, I guess it's a place that we complain.
It's a safe space to be negative.
I often find we live in a world where people act like things are better than they are.
I thought you were doing what we're doing.
Oh.
When I asked what the show was, you said it was basically this.
Yeah, basically.
But now you're saying it's a place to complain.
Well, yeah, we had to add, you know, we say that.
We have to have a hook.
I can't call it to two white guys talking.
Yes, that's right.
If I could, I would.
We have like, here's what the show is about, but then we don't, like, you know, like, just do whatever.
Come on.
I think, honestly, all podcasts, the title should just be number of hosts, their gender, their race.
Mm-hmm.
but two dope queens
sure i mean that's close
to what i'm suggesting
let me ask you
when you're in these clips
i'm seeing this right
yes
do you know
two bears one cave too
two bears one cave
that's a safe for example
yeah
do you know that you felt unsafe
around the two dope queens
no i just i'm i'm more fine
going two bears
you're
I don't I mean you're the one who introduced
to this entire show we weren't going to talk about
race at all
yeah no I would imagine that you guys were going to talk
about men and win it just doesn't
come up you know what I mean
I can imagine that the fact is it just like
to avoid it's just like no
it's not intentional it just like
never ever enters the conversation
I would believe that you two have never thought about race in your entire
life why would it ever
it just it truly doesn't come up
I mean, it hasn't come up, so
You must have been so confused, did you say, wait, what lives matter?
You hadn't even thought of it.
I don't even know what the reference is.
I'm lost.
But I, you know, I believe you.
I'm just, yeah.
I do want to talk about these clips because I want to, like, be in them someday.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
Sure.
Me and a clip.
We talk about this. We talk about like, me and a clip.
Yeah.
Like the tickets are for sale now.
How it will happen.
Uh-huh.
How like we are going to be in a clip someday.
We're going to make it.
Every single morning.
Like we.
Somebody's clipping me today.
I have to say,
like today is the day.
We're like,
we are going to be in one of these clips.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But my question is like,
Good morning, sunshine.
Do you know when I'm watching it and you're in there,
do you know,
can you feel that?
yeah like not you but like does your guy it's like your guy in there so does your guy feel that
does he know i'm watching him yeah i i can feel like i'm sure you know that when someone's talking
about you they say you your ears your ears are burning your ears are burning yeah um i can tell
like i know a video has gone viral my left nipple gets a little hard okay and i and i go i go is
it cold because if it's cold sometimes it's not if it's cold over there yeah if it's cold like
specifically on one side yeah but if it's if it's like this i go clipped it well today
interesting i don't even need to check it this and you're control are you controlling your
guy while he's in there when i'm looking at him are you making him do that are you making him do
that i'm i'm like you know some people send positive vibes i send funny vibes oh so so i don't
necessarily like that can we stop for a minute people talk about positive vibes right yeah and that's like
stay positive or like he's got good vibes but we never really until now talk about sending funny
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Hollywood Ham.
And that's kind of what I am at, like,
I don't think about God as like someone who's controlling every little thing
that we're, I like, I don't.
I'm not my character from the thing anymore.
It's the one who said everything in motion.
Sure.
And is putting out different kinds of vibes.
morning vibes yeah god i call him yahway uh or them you know uh either everything or nothing right
so it's not so you can not believe in it good luck or you can say hey it's all of it
set it all in motion and it's positive vibes but it's also funny vibes because they don't get
talked about enough i agree like when you know if a friend is ill or you know if a parent you know my
my grandmas in hospice or whatever and people say I'm sending positive vibes I always go well
clearly that's been covered yeah you don't need more so I write them I say hey I'm sending funny
vibes to your grandma oh yeah I mean it's not it's not like I don't think you know we're not
gonna fix it you hear you I hear she's sick laugh like yeah let's go I'm sending her some funny vibes
yeah yeah yeah to grandma to dying grandma yeah hospital grade hospital opioid
funniness
to like really
move things along
you know what I mean
it's not like we're going to send
some of my positive vibes
like she's going to make it
we're all going to die
let's not drag this out
any longer than it has to
let's send vibes so funny
that we're like
we get this done today
I have a smile on your face
everyone listening
is your last words are
ha ha ha
right
sarcastic
That's my real laugh.
This has come up on the show before.
That's how I laugh.
That's how I laugh when something's really funny.
Ha, ha, ha.
And you'll hear that and my hope is.
A little clap.
And when something's really, really funny, he'll do that laugh.
On my deathbed and my family around me and I peacefully.
Ha, ha, ha.
You know, that I'm just losing it at something that just really tickles me.
That's a much better sound than my grandma made.
So I do think people...
Do you want to do the sound for us now?
Would it help you heal?
That was it, huh?
That was goodbye.
There was a clap too.
She clapped too.
So weak.
So weak.
I don't know like she really summoned a lot of energy to do a clap like that.
It's almost like a sorority.
It does.
Yeah, it feels like the beginning of some kind of choreography.
Yeah, I think it probably took about a year off.
But that's what she wanted.
Yeah.
She wanted to do that little clap.
So when you're in a clip and I'm moving it up, is that, is that squishing you?
Is that, like, you jump over it?
No offense to the clip, but sometimes I need to see another one.
You're wearing, like, athletic shorts a lot and, like, you're wearing them now.
and I like yeah in the clips and I wonder if that's because you need to like jump over it when
yeah you got to move out you got to be able to move yeah I mean it's I'm going I'm going I'm swiping up
I'm swiping up I'm I'm a lot of favorites you can feel that you can feel the favorites happening
too you know that's why that's why it's a heart because I go I feel it right if I check my pulse
it's sometimes I go am I having a heart attack or am I going viral every single time got
hard nipple it's making your heart do an extra beat yeah your team call you every time you go
viral i've told them to stop yeah you have there's only so many thank you as you can get i go
i got to your team calls you and says thank you for going so viral yeah oh yeah
the first time it's nice but then you're like guys at some point this has to become normal for us
because i'm doing it a lot so like can you stop calling me say thank you for going so
the time yeah it's it's it's it's also it's every it's for a while it was every agent at wm
not just even my immediate team right it would be the whole it's a big squad because for them a big
squad and then once you know once they bought ufc suddenly i got ufc fighters saying thank you all their
clients wow yeah so it's just non-stop to camera during a match
it's like
that's leaving you very exposed
it's like first of all finish the match
yeah it's not good for our clients
to be so exposed by turning straight to camera
and thanking Jean Marco for going so viral
yeah the winners and the losers
the winners would be like
John Marco inspired me
you know his funniness his viral clips
like that gave me something to fight for
and the losers would go
the only reason I let my guard down
was because I was remembering something funny
Jean Marco said when he was going so viral
and that's why I got punched
and it was worth it
it's like a really
it's a really cool position
to be in but again it's a lot of
responsibility a lot of pressure and I can see why you
ask them to just tone it down
they were doing for a while
instead of tapping out
for a hold they would go thank you thank you thank you
they were clapping out
thank you thank you thank you oh my gosh
and I'd say
I say guys let it be about the sport
yeah what's the funniest thing you've ever said
oh god
the funniest thing I've ever said
I
you're going viral every day
is a lot to pick from
give me six
I feel like maybe I put too much pressure
knowing it down to one
yeah
six funniest things you've ever said
okay
one
my my girlfriend
there was a
I was doing laundry
I love this area
I love this area
so relatable
funny stuff is not even
it's not on stage is it
of course you were filming it
the same time i mean i i cameras everywhere in there i wish my life has a series of moments
that should have been clipped yeah i only wish i think about my youth yeah and i go oh the clips
the stuff on the clipping room floor yes the full horizontals the short verticals the long
verticals so much stand up now when people are like i was on my way here and like i ran into
this guy and he was telling me this it was like well just show me i see so much
many clips of people talking on the street
just show me that
don't be like this happened
before yeah like there's
a guy with a camera there
just show me that clip stories just show
me the thing I hear with my mom and in the
morning she said good morning and I was like
hit record
hit record
yeah and then and then she said what do you mean I said
mom I'm making a clip and this was a clip
just now yeah yes
just now and we missed it just
she missed it
so funniest things
six funniest
so there was the laundry area
with your girlfriend which I'm already ready
to laugh yeah
so in unit
I send out and bring back
okay so you're in the area where
fluff and fold yeah yeah yeah
you were in the area of your house
where you
mail your laundry
we have we have a specific room for laundry
bringing back bringing back
different from the sending out area?
A laundry receiving area.
So you, I think.
Because one is clean, the other is dirty.
Yeah, there's a stereotype about New York apartments being small,
but they're really not when you're rich.
You have areas for, yeah, just like sending out different kinds of delivery.
Yeah, I've noticed that.
I've seen some huge, but, yeah, we don't know about that.
Yeah.
I've seen some huge news.
York apartments and I do go well this isn't small like what are all these people talking about
and I think you've identified exactly what it is yeah I think it's it's poor people it's yeah it's
tied it's the the apartment size is often tied to the financial yeah yeah yeah yeah then just say
that you know yeah yeah don't say a new york apartments are small say I am poor yeah just say
I don't have much fast yeah yeah yeah I'm a broke ass that's a better thing you know
Hey, I'm a broke ass.
And I did it to myself.
I deserve it.
Yeah.
I'm not working hard enough.
I didn't want it enough.
So I got the laundry back and there was a pair of panties that looked like they had been through the ringer.
You've been around for a couple of decades.
The Ringer NBA podcast.
And I just even.
So first of all.
And that's just the setup.
He's got a top six now.
showman when he said the Rigger NBA
podcast about the panties have been through there
listening to the Ringer NBA podcast
would do to a pair of panties.
You see it like a head phone? They get soaked
are on like this part
listening to the Ringer or they're a guest.
Oh the panties are listening? Oh I thought that's what
when I was taking it to building a world. That's interesting.
I was thinking of just like a human
wearing the panties
listening to a complete episode of the Ringer NBA podcast
would then afterwards have to send the panties.
The number of cycles of hair.
I was going like in a Pixar way.
Panties would go through a period of full episode.
In your version, they were a character.
It's a Pixar. They were like, yeah.
And we're talking to like the NBA player's socks.
It's a new character in Inside Out.
Yes.
Inside Out panties.
And you know what emotion they are.
Lust for the Ringer NBA podcast hosts.
Sure.
Which, you know, as the character goes through puberty, right, there was envy and there was
these new things added and the next probably if they do a third one they will have to deal with
the sort of hormonal passionate lust we all feel when we listen to certain podcasts namely
the ringer NBA podcast and grief because Kevin O'Connor left yeah um so I picked up the
that's the mismatch it's a it's a ringer NBA podcast and he was on it a lot yeah and I don't
I don't know if there's more than one.
I like Kevin O'Connor was never on the Ringer NBA podcast.
He was on there.
I don't follow sports much, so I'm a little lost, but I picked up the...
Can I give you a suggestion to where to start?
If you just want to get a sort of overview of them,
just to like a place where they discuss sports in a way that I think is very accessible
and slightly erotic.
Ringer NBA podcast.
Sure.
But go ahead.
So the panties, I guess, we're looking insane, right?
Yeah.
And I picked them up and I said, these new?
And what did they look like?
What happened to her?
Yeah, what did they look like?
What happened to them?
And what happened to her?
I mean, they looked, you know, they looked like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Like, like, you know.
But in what way?
Like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it's all, like, material.
Yeah. It's all copy.
It's like, you know, you know, you have a pillow that's been around a long time.
And it's not, you know, it's not all, yeah, stains per se, but just you go, it's a lot of different colors.
And this was definitely not the, well, you can, it definitely doesn't look new.
Definitely, definitely doesn't look new.
Right.
Yeah.
a string a string is missing a seam is broken and they understand you if you got this at a store
yeah you'd go wait a second out when you said this did she freak out it was it it it it took a while
before she took a while so yeah yeah yeah she didn't get it at first she was like I mean she had to say
no right I I I don't have a girlfriend so I yeah yeah I don't know what they do really no she she was pretty
She was pretty honest.
She couldn't, she couldn't figure out a way to build on top of the bit.
You know, if I was dating myself, if only, I would have done.
Yes, those are new.
It's from the, I'm just off the top of my head now, but like those are, that's from the,
such and such thing.
Victoria's Secret got out a long time ago store.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Victoria's Secret got out a long time ago store.
store and her secret is that the new panties yeah it's like it's hang on we're getting there so many
people know about they know the secrets out yeah Victoria's open secret that's become worn yeah that's an
old that's old news it's old that's like like like like you know like an old newspaper it's all
to wrap fish.
It's like distressed denim or something, right?
Where you're buying them pre-
Right.
And they have to be known about to be distressed.
To be so worn out like that.
Yeah.
It wouldn't be a secret.
Yeah.
Okay.
So.
And that's what you would have said.
If you were dating yourself.
By the way, we've all wished that sometimes, haven't we?
Just to have someone we could really like.
Just farm.
Yes.
you know what I mean
someone who gets it
and be in love with you know what I mean
like someone who like
who would know like
it's like you don't understand
like has actually shared experiences
yeah yeah
it would know physically like
exactly
exactly what I think
what you want
what I'm actually
yes interested in
yes yes
that would be nice
that would be good
so
is that number six
or is that number one
that was number one
okay
Um, but the, the, the second, yeah, second, uh, second, uh, same day, tension or tied.
Oh, same day.
Wow.
So, uh, this was a very funny day for you.
It was.
This would have been, oh, if you could have only one day to clip.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my, if I could have clipped this.
Same day before or after, because I can see a version where like the second funniest one is getting
you warmed up for the first or I can see a version where you're absolutely spent.
cashed out and all you can deliver is this is going to surprise you then can i ask something
though were they new uh you know i you know i never got to the bottom of it i never got to the
bottom of it i i you know she was laughing so much because he didn't really say what was wrong if you
had been there like what they like he didn't want to seemingly couldn't yeah but if you had been
there you were saying i would go yeah they're new they're from this store which i didn't really get
the store part.
You didn't get the store part?
No.
It wasn't the name of the store that I knew.
It was different from the name of the store that I
Sure.
Again, just to be clear, like, sometimes when you riff and it's not in the moment,
it doesn't, what if it was, okay, these new?
I want to get to the second funniest thing.
I just really want to make sure that number one, we understand.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just, I've tried to promise.
Especially since it is the same day.
And so now we're establishing.
I don't know that I can move on to like,
Is it like
later in the day?
Was it before or after?
The second funny is?
Yeah.
Oh,
it's after and it'll make sense.
So I,
let's say,
okay,
how about this,
this new?
This new?
These new?
Yeah.
They're from forever 81.
And that's you?
That's me if I was dating me.
Yes.
Okay.
Like a,
I think would a bill.
Is 81 an age or is 81?
an apostrophe in the number 81
like it's like 1981
oh I was thinking
Forever 21 is that about the age
so Forever 21
is that the clothes are 21
years old
I think it's that oh I'm 20 this is how a 21 year old
dresses right
I hope and so but
for for but
so the panties then were
new
there's a podcast called Forever 35
but an old person
was wearing them i guess the concept being like i imagine most old people and this could be a
stereotype i've only slept with several but that they have panties that are those sometimes they
come off so fast you don't even like get a chance to be like well hang on yeah let me investigate
let me actually like gather information about the world like and then share later exactly
They're like, no.
So I think of, it's all material, you know.
I mean, it's literally material when it's panties, you know.
But it's also all material for you as a comic mind.
They send them straight to the laundry sending out area.
Sorry, I'm just not, it's like sometimes it's just crank it out, cranks it out, cranky out,
I can see he's got something.
And the top six might even change.
Like, if we really get a good one here.
I'd love to get something on here that makes the top set up.
But I'm not ready to be in a clip today, actually.
So don't do that.
that today because I'm not okay ready because I'm yeah I'll just I won't act it out
I'll just say it yeah these new um yes I got them
uh from the triangle waist shirt factory fire waste shirt factory well is that what it
is fire triangle shirt I don't know I don't know are you trying to do it wrong for
because you did it with the first two names is that supposed to be like forever 81 no this is kind
of this this is a pivot for sure okay this is more um uh what's a place
that like like because they look they could have been burnt burned in a fire burned in a fire
I'm now able to picture them triangle shirt waste yeah challenge shirt waste so they've been burned up
so they're yeah I think I think they're hot coloration could be could be and that can happen
and straight from the dryer they could have been hot and in a way kind of yeah and now I'm actually
certain that your girlfriend listens to the ringer and be a podcast yeah yeah she's she's a fan having as I
that she's jannies with big flame holes like burn marks from like it getting so hot downstairs
yeah yeah nobody but chris vernon's doing that mm-hmm i've always asked whenever we we make
love she and i've decided to make that the NBA podcast thank you yeah so that makes sense
mm-hmm i i i didn't know she has headphones in she has headphones in when we make love and and
uh she said um she said i'm not listening anything
just in there for later there are these like bone conductor headphones where basically uh
they're just pressed against the temple they could be disguised under a hat or something and so
it doesn't look like you have anything in your ears but you are actually getting the audio
transmitted well the women don't have to wear the hat for the jewish thing i would this was not a
reference to any sort of like
this was not about Judaism
at all. It was really
a way to
work in that Hayes' nickname in high school
was the bone conductor.
Is that so?
Yeah, the bone conductor. The bone collector was a movie
that had come out
around that time.
Sure. I'm familiar with the movie.
I mean, I've one of my, I think
one of the best from the 90s.
Yeah.
I guess
I mean this is calling into question
there are a lot of movies in the 90s
yeah there were just so many
you see them all
well I didn't I guess it's
for you it sounds like it's top six
yeah which is how I do all my
did you see every single one
yeah I would say
I would say ironically
the six one I can't compete was good
can I ask you something so
you said she listens to headphones
in the act
yes
and I don't want to like
ask you this is your girlfriend i don't want to like pry too much into your relationship but
do she i already know about her panties right yeah at least new does she ever say i'm kevin o'coming
how do you know that she says i'm kevin okovic at the at the end yeah okay she told me that's just
a thing that she's always said is that that's in reference to a particular person
it's unfortunately it's in reference to a dynamic on the show where before he actually left the show
uh the other host would introduce him and say with my co-host Kevin O and he would some he would do
a play on his name sometimes a series of them sometimes there'd be you know I wait I just thought
Kevin O Corny Kevin O Conflict yeah Kevin O Concerre yeah Kevin O Concerce yeah Kevin O Concercy Kevin
Oh, Concer was a huge one.
Yes.
Yes.
I guess I had.
Because he wanted to blow it up.
Every time I've seen a woman come, she said another man's name.
Wow.
Okay.
That's, so I just assumed.
So you just thought that she was saying, I'm Kevin O'Ccoming.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
What did you assume, I guess?
I'm just saying, like, like, you know, the girlfriend before that, she'd say, I'm O'Neill O'Kuming.
O'Neill O'Cuman.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's very specific.
That, yeah, that is.
Did I know what I'm saying?
Are you saying, I'm Anthony Coomy and you've never seen a...
She didn't...
That's a tough one.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is.
She said O'Neill Okumann.
Was she a basketball fit?
She didn't say like, I'm Shakubing O'Neil or anything.
Or she coming, David?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, what if, what if women you've been not deprived of your own personalize,
but what names have women you've been with said?
I'm on record, I said.
I don't have a girlfriend.
Sure.
Yeah.
So.
And I, so.
I'm kind of like Kevin O'Connor.
Like, I am on record also.
Like, they do not understand what I want.
You know what I mean?
Like, they don't know how it feels like to be me and have my body.
I'm interested in.
potentially dating me, which we don't
have that. Sure. Yeah.
And being able to riff with myself a little bit.
You know, I'm going to the closest thing I
can right now. You know, and with you.
I'm with you. Sure. Sure.
Yes, I mean, I've, again, I have a limited
sample size. There's probably
three women. I've seen come.
First one said, I'm Alan Kumi.
Say that one
again. The first one said
what? They said, I
I'm Alan Coombe.
Alan Cooming.
Wow, she's working kind of...
We're kind of hard to change the sound of the name, which I feel like it's closer to...
It feels like for a while they were all saying cooming.
Then they started saying, like, in the most recent version, they were saying, I'm Kevin O'Coming.
I'm Kevin O'Cohman.
But for a while in your life, everyone was saying Coombing.
I'm O'Neill O'Cuming.
O'Neill O'Coh.
Maybe I've never made a woman come.
I've made them just Coo.
I'm Alan Cooming.
Well, Cooming feels incredible.
Yeah.
I'm told.
You know, I don't have a girlfriend, so.
Is it happening, or are you getting the extra heartbeats right now?
How many did you get during this?
It's hard to tell between the anxiety of, have I ever made a woman, coom?
Yeah.
Or come
Or am I going viral?
Or am I going viral?
Yeah.
That's got to be confusing.
Well, let's get your second funniest thing and then let's get out of here.
Yeah, we got to get the second funniest thing.
Sure.
So then I picked up a pair of socks that were hers.
The laundry is just paying so many dividends.
Sure.
No wonder you're like, I'll unpack the laundry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know there's gold in there.
And you stand over here.
Just like, don't leave the room.
Yeah, be here because I'm going to have funny comments, but don't, but I'll do it.
And, and, yeah.
What are they looking like?
They're new.
Are these things new?
They're looking.
I don't want to step on your.
No, they're looking like, they're looking like they were made at Abercrombie and yuk.
Oh, wow, yuc.
Abercrombie, which, by the way, she didn't say, she didn't think to say.
She didn't think to say.
I'm saying if I was dating myself, that's what I would have said.
Yeah, funny.
But instead, what did you say?
What did you say about the socks?
Because so far you've just picked them up, I think.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We didn't get to the comment, yeah.
I said, I, well, because remember, this came after the panties of panties.
So I said, I said, what about these?
Bye.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.
That was a headgum podcast.
