Hollywood Handbook - Gillian Jacobs, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

The Boys help GILLIAN JACOBS make an important documentary.Get tickets for the June 29th livestream show with Paul F. Tompkins here.Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. for the opening of the episode just because I am crunching my little mint. A lot of respect for our guest. I'm so happy, too. We're celebrating today. We are holding this moment, this special occasion that is happening. We have Gillian here. Gillian Jacobs is on the show. Happy to be here.

Nice to meet you guys. Yes. This is one of the most punishing ordeals of my life oh uh booking gillian on this show uh the team is teaming really the team the games are keeping oh yes the team is uh making sure that no riffraff is able to book you on a podcast yes even you know even when they have met you several times, I noticed you said nice to meet you. Oh, shit. I just want...

I'm sorry. No. Wait. They're protecting you. They're protecting you. That's their job. They're supposed to do that. Sorry.

I feel like such an asshole. Where did we meet? So, I guess, do you want... Like, chronologically, should we go? Oh, it's more than once? Well, let him go first, and then I'll go. I'm having a hard time differentiating you two. No, and that's common.

I think that is why Hayes did this with his hair. So we, so. Did this. It's glorious. Did this. Yeah. Your eyebrows are, like, identical. Has anyone ever said that to you?

Mine are, like are like his dad. Wait. They're close. They're related for sure, but mine are the dad of his. Oh. Yeah. So that's what you're seeing. I don't have the baby.

There's a genetic relationship there, but mine are dad. I don't know where the voice is coming from because it's like two of the same face and the voice the baby around the room but i but i um i actually did want to have uh have this conversation and i was hoping to get some advice a lot of times we give our guests advice but i would like to know if there's anything you feel that i could do okay become more memorable so we have um i guess we probably met for the first time in maybe 2010 yeah so about 13 years ago wow uh the tea party i believe the political yeah yeah it was during the it was no that wasn't me no that was going on no no no it's not like no it was just like it was on all of our minds and maybe that's why i was just saying stuff you were distracted but i think you were there attended my improv show at ucb very shortly

thereafter we started living in the same apartment building for multiple years we would see each other in the lobby a lot what are you talking about later i was cast on a television show called love you and i had a scene together not ringing a bell interacted um a little beyond wait what was the scene i don't remember i'm like you like stole my cigarettes and that doesn't narrow it down it was the second to last episode of the show got so into a little bit of a rut around that time didn't it with the cigarettes with the cigarette stealing the cigarette it was interesting like you know when i. The first time it happened, I was like, oh, this is a little bit interesting. But in my head, I was not like, I need to see this

over and over again. Sorry, I didn't write the show. Well, we'll give them to Paul. Yeah, we know Paul. Oh, you know Paul. Is that how you got on the show? Probably. No, no, no. Paul. Yeah, we know Paul. Is that how you got on the show? It was blind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Sean said specifically it's better that Paul not know. Did you do another different thing? I wanted my audition to be anonymous. Hooded audition. I did not audition for the role I received. Oh. Yes. But I did.

Which role did you audition for? E.T. Oh, God. oh yes um but i did but i which role did you audition for et oh god yeah i was originally supposed to play et i don't know how many drafts of the pilot you read but at first et was just kind of chill it out like of course yeah he was going to use his little thingy to light this all the stolen cigarettes interesting so i had et um no one had no yeah i don't think like the owning et was really i lived with et before claudio was cast et was my roommate is that claudio doherty that was that was the plot um et was crashing out i mean he would be they didn't drill down too hard on like the specifics of like where et lived or like what his goals were he just kind of seemed to enter scenes when it was convenient somebody needed a cigarette lit oh somebody like whatever it is true couldn't find their cell phone

at any given time someone does just kind of have et yeah i. Yeah. I've never seen E.T. The kid has him. Kill him! That's right. And then the army has him. You'd love it. Can he freak out? You're very captive to the concept. It really is just about who has him.

You seem connected to it. I really consider myself like a Hollywood insider. You know, I'm still just a girl from Pittsburgh. So there's a lot of movies I haven't seen. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about you being a girl from Pittsburgh. So there's a lot of movies I haven't seen. Yeah, okay. So let's talk about you being a girl from Pittsburgh.

And you said at the first, like this is the wrong show for you. You're not really tapped into Hollywood. Yeah. But I do notice that you have a winning time duffel bag. What? You have a 10-year-old Tom sweatshirt on. And a t-shirt. Late night with Jimmy Kimmel.

Season two. Jimmy Kimmel hat. Baseball cap on. And what's in the bag I guess okay well I mean this was not supposed to be on the show but oops

season 2 coming out on max season 2 10 year old Tom coming out on max your sunglasses say everwood oh my well Season two, 10-year-old Tom coming out on Max. Wow. Your sunglasses say Everwood on them. Oh, my, well, my boyfriend created the bear, so I brought you a lot of- Look at that.

T-shirts. Okay. Oh, wow. We famously love the bear on the show. I brought a bunch. I don't know. Yeah. Okay.

One for you. Oh, wonderful. And- Yeah. I probably need to go a little bigger. Okay. What do you want? You got- There you go. Thank you. Oh, wonderful. And. Yeah. I probably need to go a little bigger. Okay. What you want? You got.

There you go. Thank you. What you got? I'm taking an L. You want a medium? In terms of the size that I need. Did you have a medium? Wait here.

Thanks. Behind the camera. Okay. So, yeah. Yeah, of course, Chris lived in the same apartment building as me as well. And we also had some meetings about a project. And he's really nice. He's just so busy.

And then you and I run into each other on the kind of picket line at Paramount multiple times. One time you asked me if I needed any help at the Neutral Gate. And I explained what a Neutral Gate was. And then we also go to the same coffee shop a lot you're always very nice to like my daughter and my wife and then when you see me it just kind of you just sort of glaze over like you sort of look right through me you know and i'll be friendly as hell i'll be like overnight oats huh yeah you really think they're overnight? And then you, you know, won't necessarily answer.

It's so like, I just know what I've been doing isn't working. Because it's not just you. I mean, it's you a lot of the time, but it's not only you. Yeah. Okay. And you're looking at him now. Yeah. Like, is there something, is there there advice because obviously you got all this swag like how do i get to a level where people are giving me like a 10 year old tom shirt i'd say

first thing like get a hat with your name on it yeah okay okay yeah your hat says jimmy kimmel i mean you know i've got so much, I don't have to wear a Gillian Jacobs hat. Right, yeah. But maybe you need a hat. A hat. That says Sean. Sure.

Okay. I have my son's name on my hat a lot of the time. Maybe that's the problem. Well, are you trying to launch your son's career? Well, it may be too late for me, Gillian. Okay, well, then let's focus on the next generation. Yeah, well, that, I guess, is sort of the idea. So how can I not infect him with my personality

so that he is able to sort of... I mean, apparently I respond well to your wife, so maybe let her lead. So should I, like, leave? Yeah. Vanish. You can go back to the apartment building that we lived in. Yeah.

Yeah. You can go back there. I will go back there. And you let your wife. If my friends try to park in the parking lot there, then I'll have like a big hassle from the doorman. Oh my God. Who like sort of won't accept that I live there.

R.I.P. of course. What? Larry's passed away. Oh my god. I'm sorry. I did not want this episode to be about this.

Oh my god. You used to call him Permanent Larry. Is this real? Wait. larry has larry is oh my god uh moved on yeah oh um and he's watching tangled on a little tiny compact laptop somewhere in the sky. Oh, my God. That's really, that's horrible. I'm sorry. You know, I didn't want this to be about this. But we did have a project we wanted to discuss with you.

Okay. And maybe it'll be a nice sort of palate cleanser, right? Okay. I know that something you've been really passionate about is making documentaries. Yes. Are you okay? I'm sorry. I'm sad about Larry.

This is life, isn't it? And this is what documentaries are meant to capture. to capture is there anything more cinematic more action-packed more dramedy than the life of larry can we honor larry in a way in this episode by making something about project okay let's pivot we gotta pivot we gotta let's do it like go back to you let's make something that you know the kind of thing that larry would be proud to put in a little tiny laptop on the desk in front of the door um and i think that that could be really powerful and i know that you become passionate about documentary filming i think we even had a quote about it would you like me to read your quote from the interview

nothing i like to hear more than my own words. He loved Tangled, huh? That was a movie he watched? I do remember being like, what do you watch? And he was like, Tangled, you know? And I was like, is it good? And he's like, it's not bad. And he was, in a way, it's kind of about the doorman experience.

I haven't seen Tangled either tangled either okay you don't have to have seen i mean i i don't think i've seen it you don't have to have seen it to know it's like it's rapunzel you don't need to have seen rapunzel okay it's just crazy to be like i like am i wrong to be like i haven't seen tangled so i can't combat dawn whether or not the rapunzel story is kind of about like doorman related issues this just feels like something where it's like a brand thing where it's like i haven't seen movies you know yes sorry like no i'm not criticizing it i'm just telling haze like i don't think you want to press too hard on it we didn't talk about like my connection to you at all.

We went over Sean's for like 20 minutes. Just like as we're getting into the documentary space. Let's do that. Let's do your doc stuff. Okay, let's talk about how you know. Why do you get a doc and he doesn't? No, no, no, no, no. The doc is...

Have you seen this Smart List show? No. Okay, so that's very on brand. You haven't seen it. Consistent with ET, haven't seen Tagled, haven't seen the Smart List show. ET, okay. Some people miss ET. But not seeing the Smart List show, I start to go, something's happening here for you.

Where can I watch this Smart List show? On freaking Max. Oh, Max. Yeah. happening where can i watch this smart freaking max oh max yeah we're 10 year old tom at winning time rest their weary heads okay well why didn't max tell me about it it has been trying yes believe me when i tell you it has been attempting to contact you about this smart list show which is shot beautifully black and white. It's like famous photographer and looks incredible. And it really captures the nuts and bolts and all the grime that goes into making a

podcast because people see the show. Yes, yes, yes. You're gorgeous. You know, but really on Howard. Yes. What they don't see is seven minutes of us ordering lunch to the room. Oh, is that the show? I mean, it kind of like criticized each other's orders.

That's part of it. I mean, it's seven minutes of the show, yeah. It's seven minutes, yeah. And they don't see like this hideous mess going on over here. But this literally. Don't talk about your producers like that. This is literally all I have to look at. Excuse me, we didn't mean the people.

Is this ghastly. This ghastly display. Yes. Everyone else. So I'm sort of like, where's my podcast looking at experience? Okay. You know what I mean?

Wait. Because I know what they get to see while they do their job. Yeah. Wait, stop. What was that sentence? Where's my podcast looking at experience? My podcast looking at experience.

I'm imprisoned in this. Where's my podcast looking at experience? My podcast looking at experience. I'm imprisoned in this. Where's my podcast looking at? Behind these eyes. Everyone else is facing out at me. All these cameras. This is everyone in the world facing out at this. Except for me and him. I'm trapped behind these eyes.

What's your favorite band? It's probably like, you know, the late night bands. Haven't heard um like you know the late night any music either haven't heard any music the late night band on jimmy kimmel that's your favorite band and that's what we call them there's no like leader name or anything i because for me it's like all the late night shows, they come together to form a super group. Yeah, sort of the traveling Wilburys of late night bands. Yeah, and that's my favorite.

John Baptiste, Reggie. Reggie just got fucking shit canned from the band, I guess. Because that's what they do. Once you're out, you're out. It's only the ones who are on air doing it. paul schaefer's there yeah yes band leader yeah so that's my favorite band okay well do you ever think about how the late night band they don't really get to listen to the late night band because they're doing it you don't think they go home where's their podcast looking at no one ever plays music for them except conan sometimes would yeah conan would sometimes he'll do like an elvis cover or

something who was thoughtful enough to get out the guitar fallon's singing all the time he makes them do it with him though oh so conan would perform for them yes conan goes you guys take a seat chill out you know take five this is Perform just for him. Chill out. You know, take five. This is your time to relax and just listen to some music. That's generous. Yeah. The bear never ever, ever even once plays music for John Baptiste. So you want to watch yourselves making the podcast.

That's what you're telling me you want the doc to be? To watch yourselves making the podcast. That's what you're telling me you want the doc to be? I mean, I think it would be nice for someone to do that for us just one time. Gillian, speaking of late night, can I tell you, and can you pass this along because I do really appreciate the shirt, that the bear was probably my favorite watch of the entire past year. And I am spelling it B-E-R-T. Apostrophe B-E-R-T. And it is Stephen Colbert.

I love The Bear. The Bear. I love to watch The Bear. What's your favorite episode of The Bear? Oh, God. Have you been on? Wait. Yes.

Oh, that one was. You had to reach back. What a life. I'm camel focused right now. What a career. Have I done Colbert? Have I done Stephen Colbert? My favorite music is late night bands, and I don't know if I've ever been on Stephen Colbert.

Jesus Christ. Are my sunglasses covering my pimple sticker or can you see it? I don't know why you have a sticker of a pimple to put on your face. Usually people use a sticker to cover a pimple. And if you would do that, I would think that you would want to display it because otherwise why wear it at all? It's a new thing I'm trying. If you would do that, I would think that you would want to display it because otherwise, why wear it at all? Yeah. It's a new thing I'm trying. I wanted you to both see it and I wanted to wear the sunglasses.

So I'm battling two things right now. Okay. It's not even that bad a pimple on the sticker. Yeah. If you're going to do a sticker. If you're going to get a pimple sticker, let's have this thing ready to fucking blow. Bust. Yeah. You know what?

I've got it. Okay. Pimple popping videos are huge online. You should pivot to a pimple popping podcast. And then that would give you something really visual to. Pimple podcast. Yes, for the documentary. And you could go on the journey of becoming dermatologists and popping pimples.

Sorry, I want to get into how Hayes knows you. The black and white of it is going to be tough because like the color. They've already done that. You can't top it, so don't imitate it. The dream coat of colors

is such a part of it. No, no, no, you're technicolor. You're technicolor for your dog. So we're not doing black and white. No, they've done it. Okay, we're doing, we are shooting on film. Of course. May I have sepia tones? black and white no they've done it okay we're doing we are shooting on film may i have may i

have sepia tones mother may i have some sepia tones no no no no no we're going full technicolor okay okay okay all right think movie musical from the mgm era of hollywood that's what we're doing i can't imagine it just makes me laugh when I try to imagine winning time not shot on film. It's a comedy. It has a strong comedic element to it. Wait, watch this. Ready? Just for a second, imagine winning time not being shot

on film. Oh no. That's why you need a doc is because it's not funny to listen to you both, but it's funny to watch you. It could be good to see it's not funny to listen to you both but it's funny to watch you it could be good to see that's right well you need to look at this is what we're saying we need a doc well you're something of an expert on a doc because imagine my surprise when i unfolded my favorite periodical grazia magazine oh thank you meanwhile jacobs has honed skills beyond acting

i'm learning how to be a documentarian she reveals and it'd been a secret eternal student yes i like learning about something entirely new i have this new skill set thank you about gratia magazine i have this new skill set of putting together a compelling documentary that's how i got it and You bought it? And hey, this is some of what we should prep for. It includes doing interviews, sourcing archival footage. Yes.

Learning to shoot. Yes. Yeah, you can always learn more. I would love to continue to do that. Yes. So the new skill set is making compelling documentaries.

One of them. One of them. You're going to make one. Let us be the judge. One and done. No, no, no. I've already made more than one. One of them. You're going to make one? Let us be the judge. No, no, no. I've already made more than one. Okay. It's one of my new skill sets. Have you made one about

middle-aged white guys making a podcast? Yes. Because SmartList has kicked down the doors that used to be locked shut for people like us to be in a documentary. How long have you been doing this podcast? Ten years. How long have you been doing this podcast? 10 years. How long have they been doing that podcast?

A year. 10 seconds. And they have a podcast and they have a documentary. Is it one episode? From what I heard, once they split it up, they only get for the documentary a couple million bucks each. Oh, okay. So 10 years? 10, yeah. This was like a quarantine million bucks each. Oh, okay. So, they, you, 10 years? 10, yeah.

That, how, this was like a quarantine project for them? Yeah. And they have a, see, this is so, wait, also,

what's the podcast doc, what's the doc documenting? Just, they're on a tour. Have you guys done a tour? Yeah. A little one. Did it,

how, compare the venues. So, I hate to compare, you know did they do uh um the cities that we did on the boys gone bad well i know they did 17 i know they did boston and we've done boston they did chicago we did somerville yeah uh they did dc somewhere in wisconsin we did chicago yeah we did chicago city which but i'm talking about not the number of cities, the size of the venue played.

The venue themselves? Yes. How many seats? How many butts in seats? You're not going to get anywhere comparing your insides to someone else's outsides. And that's true of venues as well. To say like, oh, there's this many seats inside the venue.

And it's like, just like, I don't, you know. So they sold their podcast to a podcasting network. What was their deal how much can you look that up how the amount of money that they haven't worked for them they became a network they're they're their own they are their own network but i think they're by like they went straight from becoming a network yeah uh i think it's like 100 million how many spinoff shows do you have? Like four. Currently? Yeah. How many do they have? None.

So they got the money to become a network and they haven't even had to make any other shows. They have a handful of other shows but they have no involvement. We have to make our own. When we say it's a spinoff it's just us like spinning out. So it's not passive

income for you spiraling sorry i said 100 million it was 80 million yeah okay they sold the podcast so that's 20 million it's a big check and there's three of them so well but how much did they make on the tour they could have made that 20 up on the tour yeah and that doesn't include the show and then the show and how many episodes of the show a producer you know what's sad to me is you're like how long have you guys been doing this when like when we started i would go to sean's house and we would have these basically dream sessions yes about like come up with an idea for a big podcast yeah yeah yeah and you were there in the same building stomping around I do have a heavy footfall stomping on our ceiling

I do have a heavy footfall like a freaking rhinoceros up there and then we'd pass you and all Sade's tour equipment would be out yes because Sade's bassist lived in our building that's right

that's not a bit. Yeah, and then you'd get in the elevator and Jeffrey Arendt would be behind you and he'd say the line from The Devil Trailer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now you're conflating timelines because they lived in the apartment before us. No.

Get it straight. This is why you can't make a documentary. You're lying. Never comes back and rides an elevator? You're fabulous. You don't think he's ever in the elevator. Have you worked at that building since you've moved out? Have I worked there?

I have so many jobs. This is like you and Colbert. It's like, do I? Because I do. I definitely work. Love Colbert. Yeah. No.

No. Have you been working there a lot i they film a lot there i did i filmed something there after i moved out i was trying to find common ground but none been filming less been doing more of this oh yeah so then now let's combine our love. Let's bring it back. Documentary film, on-camera film. So hard. Have you pitched it? Have you pitched it? We have nothing. We have nothing to pitch. We are pitching it now to our documentarian.

This is the package. I'm learning. I'm still learning. Yes, we're coming together. This is the dream session. Okay, this is the dream weaving. Do you need to freaking put on big galoshes and roll around? I would say it extended the gestation period for our podcast by a couple years.

My stomping? Stomping. Disruptive noise. I'm really sorry. I wear these clogs a lot. My feet aren't great. Okay, so I have to wear these clogs. And like big, fucking clompers. The clogs are lot because i have my feet aren't great okay so i have to wear these clogs and like big falling clumpers like the clogs are not like keeping you i sometimes was really

worried like because we'd hear one really loud thump and then nothing for a while we go like do we need to go check like did she fall sweet but you didn't no no and did you have like stairs somehow within the within the apartment that you were falling down? Sometimes I would do photo shoots at the apartment and I'd get a ladder. You want to have different heights. It sounded like you would fall down the ladder and hit every step all the way down. And yet you never came to check on me. Well, it didn't really feel appropriate.

You would say I'm fine a lot. You would scream that you were fine. We would hear that through the vent or whatever. Yeah, you could hear other people's apartments very clearly in the bathroom vents. Yeah, so we'd kind of scoot on into the bathroom if we weren't in there already for our dream session. You know? Yeah. So we kind of scoot on into the bathroom. Yeah. If we weren't in there already for our dream session, you know? Yeah.

And then we'd hear, I'm fine. Uh-huh. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. Click, click, click, click, click, click. Kaboom. And it would be like, okay. And I also would be pretty uncomfortable going to check only because I was very confident you would not recognize me if I came in. You would be like, who's there?

You just look straight through to the hallway. And then even in the span of a single conversation, it might happen. How have you met Gillian? Because you were saying that you had your own connection. Well, I would come to the building all the time for the dream sessions. Why weren't you ever at your place for dreaming? Ceilings too low. There were high ceilings.

Yes. Very high ceilings. Yeah. We're waving around, you know, like imagining space and like waving our arms around. And in my place, you could hurt your your hand your finger really yeah if you tried to even wave at somebody okay i would go to the apartment and so i have this thing you know you have to like park your car and stuff it's hard for me to park my car without a tennis ball hanging down from somewhere

and so i get into a lot of situations where i have to park and there's no tennis ball hanging down from somewhere and so i get into a lot of situations where i have to park and there's no tennis ball yeah right and the way the outside today like out the outside parking is set up at the building i would just like not really be able i wasn't going fast but i'm definitely not able to know exactly when to stop and so your trash area i would kind of use as like a soft landing. Wait, you were letting him park in our parking area? In the back parking area. Those are all reserved spots.

Excuse me. They're our visitor spots. Larry was very supportive of our project. He had a lot of questions. What will you be doing? Yes. How long will you be in here? Yeah.

And I would say, we could do whatever we want yeah you know but then that also that attitude would make him very suspicious we did tell him it was a podcast about climbing hair which for him he was very okay so you don't know yeah i don't know what i'm lost again i thought I understood what was happening, and now we're back to square one. But Larry was sort of an enthusiast of not hair necessarily on its own or climbing on its own, but the concept of climbing. The combination of those two ideas did something for him.

He just lit up like a little kid, you know? And so I would park in the parking area and sort of smush up against the trash and at the time like what were there the the big trash the big trash part yes i would use that i would use that to kind of like give my trash you'd smush up against give my car a soft landing smush see the trash you can't smush into it smush up against the trash area remember okay smush against the trash okay and we lived on different floors i was doing a great deal of kayaking at the time and so i would keep obviously my kayak on the roof of the car where where the river

although well first the river and then the ocean. I'd go all the way out in the ocean. The river feeds into the ocean. That's how rivers work? Yes. Ideally, at least they used to. The river is the river that goes into the ocean. You have to go.

You have to leave? I gotta go. Based on that? I gotta go. Did you put something in the river that you thought you could just go back and get it see so this is extra interesting to me because oh no doing a lot of kayaking i gotta call my mom i would just think that you would have more information on this at least something that belonged to your mom like how is your mom related to what got lost in the river

she gave me something and she said hold on to this and i was like i i don't have room for it okay oh god is it something that would like float yeah yeah yeah okay but i put it on a rock and i thought it'd be fine okay so that's better so we've had a lot of rain okay how big is the rock the rock? It was, I mean, I should say pebble. That's. Okay. So it was really small. It was under the water. It was a pebble under the water.

How buoyant is the thing? Quite. Okay. So probably it's just dragging the pebble into the, so the pebble is probably in the ocean too. Okay. That's bad. Was it a raft?

Okay. Okay. Nevermind. Okay. Okay. It okay okay okay okay it doesn't matter it doesn't matter so this is what i'm wondering because in driving my car into the where are we again the momentum from that would take my kayak my kayak is not like uh strapped down because if I need it really fast, I kind of have to keep it loose on the roof of the car. Absolutely. Yeah. And so my kayak would kind of. That was what I did with the thing in the river. Shoot forward. Right.

Go into your trash. Okay. And then you would come out. Yeah. And just take out whatever was in there, which I feel like was like of your daily routine. It's just like, what's it? And you're like, this is mine. It's my name on the building. One man's trash.

I'd always hear you sort of muttering to yourself. Yep. I do a lot of muttering and stomping and falling down ladders. One man's trash. Is little Gilly's treasure. That's okay. That's copyrighted.

Please stop. Unless you Gilly's treasure. That's okay. That's copyrighted. Please stop. Unless you want to pay me. And so you would drag the kayak out of the trash, hoist it onto your back, and sort of like whistle your way back into the building. Now it's mine. Now it's mine. Yes. And I wonder if this is...

You're actually a bit more memorable because this is ringing a bell. Yeah. Well, the kayak, I feel like you're remembering more than him. I wonder if this is the thing that you... I mean, the story is that you gave it to your mom or something, but you tried to keep it safe in a river. That's where they go. I mean, come on, you're not going to get me there.

That's where they go. I've definitely seen them there before. That's where they there. That's where they go. I've definitely seen them there before. That's where they go. That's where they go. But they go fast. Either people are in them and they're moving or they need to be locked off in some way. I thought put a pebble inside it.

It'll weigh it down. It's not going anywhere. The river's the river. If it's later in the river, no big deal. But now that we're finding out rivers are in theory connected to an ocean. And also, what's that thing about you go back to the river twice, even if you go to the same spot, it's changed because you're different or something about time? That should have been a signal to you. That's a clue that you can't just go back.

I thought that was more about me as a person, that you're never the same person twice, not the river. Well, it is. It is. It is. But it's also about the river. It's also about the river. It is. It is. It is. But it's also about the river. It's also about the river. I was just a little... It's about everything.

It was a me thing. Okay, I was focused on myself. Which is my camera? We've got three. You know what? One. Only one is... Michelle's got you covered.

Yeah. That one's yours. And let them know about 10-year-old Tom. 10-year-old Tom, season two. The cartoon where the kids are acting so weird. Oh, you know who else is on that? Paul Rust, who cast you on Love, your friend. He did put me in the show, yeah.

And shout out to Bang Raj Band as well, one of the voices on 10-Year-Old Tom. Yeah, why are you attacking 10-Year-Old Tom? It's a nice show. I didn't. I'm attacking it. It's great that the kids are allowed to be weird. I said it's the show where the kids act so weird. Where's the lie? I think it's good that where the kids act so weird. Where's the lie?

I think it's good that they're allowed to be weird. No lies detected. Ooh, maybe that's your doc. I think it might be huge. Yes, you could have a metal detector, but it's for lies. Yes. And you two could go around. Go around, go to Washington.

Yes. And scan some of those fat cats and the detector will be like going off like crazy and so you're filming us it's 70 mil so that you will need all three of these cameras right because it's each camera films a different a different section cameras okay okay you can't shoot crashing on that okay okay you can't shoot crashing on that you just you simply cannot you might want to and i wouldn't blame you but it wouldn't be possible so they are supposed to be film cameras rochelle recently has managed to make them not film cameras budget cuts so we'll do a whole episode and do some of our most amazing physical bits that we've ever done.

And then we will be told afterwards that the cameras were converted into not film cameras. Yeah. Yeah. Hollywood Handbook. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready to eat meals. Every fresh, never frozen meal is chef crafted, dietitian approved, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian-approved, ready to go in just two minutes.

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When you drop someone off. After a nice date. And they turn around at the door. And they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates. And I need and have needed something like Babbel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger? Because it looks like an emergency.

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the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys i want to talk about um one of the most controversial moments from the Smart List documentary series that we should recreate, which is the guys get really mad at each other over a bad guest being booked. Yeah. And generating like a not good episode. And do they name the guest?

Yeah. You know who it is because they do two shows in Boston. And for one, they have conan and for the other they have like some professor yeah like a science expert or something and they well he goes off he does not care for science he doesn't like science i love science i had a failed science podcast on your former podcasting network we were compatriots at one point. Right. Mm-hmm. Okay.

We had a big meeting about that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was... The day... We fought for you. The day when Earwolf, they brought everyone together and they said, look, I know we have never had a podcast that failed before.

I know we have never had a podcast that failed before. And it really seemed like we could keep that going forever. Every single podcast we've ever done has been an incredible roaring success. But there's that old saying, you know. Go to a river. 15th through the wall always gets bloody. Wait, say it again. The 15th one through the wall always gets bloody. Wait, say it again? The 15th one through the wall always gets bloody.

The 15th one through the wall always gets bloody. And so they said, so we did 14 really good podcasts. We did a science podcast that was so fucked up and busted. Yeah. This podcast failed so hard. Yep, that's true. We will be selling our company to a fucking newspaper or something. We'll be selling it to the Spelling Bee. First, they did sell to basically a newspaper group.

First, they sold the entire company to the Spelling Bee. Yes. I love the Spelling Bee. Well, that should have been part of the science podcast. We could have. Because, yeah. I mean, i could have really you know done some uh synergistic content with the spelling bee favorite word to spell go g-i-l-l-i-a-n

wow i mean let's talk about earwolf for a minute like what was that conversation like with you where were they just like they said smoked your ass no more of this you know i cried a little because i you know i like scientists it really set back the whole thing the whole science thing i actually think when jb is going off it's because he hated my podcast so much not that he hated your podcast he didn't listen to it yeah but there were other ones that worked yes ours didn't i remember it. There were other ones that worked. Yes. Ours didn't. I remember at least two. Ologies.

Yes. Everybody likes that. It's big. Big Patreon following. We're trying to get a piece. Gabrus did one for Stitcher. The Laymen. What?

Say it again? The Laymen. Gabrus's show for Howl. That was. Nay, Stitcher. Oh. Oh, is that? I don't know. I don't know. Who can keep up? My stomach just Stitcher. Oh. Oh, is that... I don't know.

Who can keep up? My stomach just growled. Yeah, well, we do that in here. We're all on IF. We're all doing IF. We're all doing IF. Intermittent fasting? Oh.

Yours just does that normally? No. I'm hungry. It's got to be part of your window. Oh, so you might be doing IF. What are we doing? What's happening? Oh, thank you so much.

Don't even worry about it. I'm like you. I respect the listeners, so I won't be crunching on it yeah that'll go okay but you said you were hungry and so okay what you want to do a doc yes you want to do it that's what you could have used at the river so now i'm actually wondering if you know if you do you like the spelling bee wait what what could i have used with the river a documentary a doc so oh got it got it got it got it got it fun fun because she likes every once in a while that's fun every once in a while i had to this is no it's thrilling to you it's always a surprise you go how the fuck are they

gonna get out of this one? It's nice actually to have someone be like, wait, what did you say? Instead of most of the time people are just like, okay. They just like ignore it. No, I have to just get in the pun mind. You know, it's like I have to get there where you guys are. I have to meet you where you are. Three film cameras.

Three film cameras three film cameras technicolor each is filming a separate section of the screen because we are going 70 millimeter people will be going 90 to watch i don't want to get in a fight i don't want to get in a pissing contest with nolan over the theater space that's why not is he releasing it in it's imax uh yeah it's going imax we will come cruise is not thrilled we will mission am i yes which one is it let's go big let's go bigger than imax let's go bigger let's go exclusive to the panorama let's take it back. Yes. Let's finally reclaim panorama. The Cinerama Dome. Cine Panorama.

Cinerama. We do it in the dome, exclusive to the dome, the Hayden Panaterium. Those are the only places that can play our show. Okay. Okay, what about this? What about this? Hit me. What if you find a way to project it onto a body of water, and then you could kayak to the ocean and then have it be.

I don't actually have a kayak anymore. I took it. Well, the ocean took it. Someone released it and you put it in the river. You put a pebble inside to weigh it down. This is the podcast. We find the kayak. This is the podcast.

This is the podcast. Yes. This is the podcast. This is the podcast. No, this is the podcast. For better or worse. No, no, no, no. This is the podcast. Okay. Yes. We No, this is the podcast. For better or worse. No, no, no, no. This is the podcast.

Okay, yes. We find your kayak. I agree. Yeah. Okay, you get in it. Okay, the first step is finding this kayak? That's going to take a while. It's been in the ocean for over a decade.

It feels like we're skipping a lot of steps that lead to finding the kayak. We get in someone's car. We drive. Okay. To the ocean. We look. Sounds like you're not offering your car no not offering my car it's someone's car yours

can smush apparently might be useful with the tennis ball situation driving toward the ocean is not something that I am supposed to do I'll meet you there. I'll put a GoPro in your car. That's how we'll film you guys for the car scenes.

We'll mount it. So it'll be getting footage of you two driving and I won't have to be anywhere near you. Like the Sonic guys. Like the Sonic guys. It's going to feel like the Sonic guys. This would be great for you. Yes. You two could be the new Sonic guys. It's going to feel like the Sonic guys. This would be great for you. Yes.

You two could be the new Sonic guys. Which foods do you eat? Why is this not branded? You could be getting sponsorships. It has a brand on it. It is branded. It's branded by the weapons manufacturer, Ball. Weapons manufacturer?

Yeah, they no longer make mason jars. They make guns. Okay, well, they no longer make mason jars. They make like guns. Okay, well, I'm advertising for La Cologne. Okay, they paid me to be here today. Not you, sorry.

That's my deal that I worked out. It's direct to me. Okay. Yeah, I don't know if I would actually want to be paid by something that makes

the most dangerous product on earth. But now they have warnings coffee is so hot it is it tastes this is why your dog tastes devastatingly addictive yeah if you have too much you could actually explode oh and by the way you can't go to sleep after you have it and it keeps you up all night. And you need sleep to be alive. But if you want to promote something like that, then by all means, go off.

You like science. Let's talk about something. has never managed to create an alternate mechanism for laying completely vulnerable during a third of its life. Does that mean sleep's important? I think it's gotta be. So excuse me, did you just fall asleep? You proved my point. You proved my point. That's how important it is.

That's how important it is. You have to do it to escape sometimes what were you talking about he's talking about see i sort of wonder what you were doing on your science podcast and i guess i that's this is why it had to be destroyed maybe why i ever fail again it went in the vault okay back to the back to the documentary. Okay, so you are jealous of the Smartless people. No eyes detected. So that's good. It could be like a grudge doc.

I would like it to feel like we are doing a documentary at them. Okay, that's good. If that makes sense. I would say so. Are there any like- Have you done that show? No. Okay.

I'm here. I want to be here. I'm sorry. With you two. Okay. I'm here. I want to be here. I'm sorry. With you two. No, I chose this. It was like, you know with late night bookings, they're very competitive with each other and they'll be like, you can do Bear, but then you can't do Kimmel or, you know, like Morning Eat.

You guys know. You can do Jimmy, but then you can't do James. So the same deal with you and smartless i don't know if this if you've been made aware of that's what's going on that's why we can't get any of the big guests they have yeah yes but i like to support up and coming podcasts like you guys have only been at this kind of underground yeah like the music you listen to late night bands not this fucking big commercial stuff no no no and you haven't been at it for that long this is new yeah so we're coming into

our own we're stepping into our power right now aren't we i'm starting to really zero in on what the show could be what could the show be if it's imax this is in the dome this is do we get this is the podcast i wonder if we could get a little drone to do like a very slow fly over just from that corner of the room to this one that's fun and so at the beginning it's like you're soaring over the podcast maybe for the finale

the drone could blow me up I'd like to see that well I don't think anyone would be able to avoid watching it. That's something they never do in the IMAX nature documentaries and stuff. They're following like a gazelle that's running through the forest, and you never see a target appear.

It's never a targeted strike, and I think that we should really acknowledge that, yes, we are using a drone and let the drone fulfill its purpose and eliminate me in order to to service my family which we talked about that be vanishing would maybe be something that would stop them from you know it would also be fun you know all those um stand-up specials where they start backstage with the comic oh my god i love that because it's like i don't want to see the fucking jokes. I want to see you getting hype. Yeah.

We could do that with you. I drink a big water. Yeah. We start, but we start. Get a hug from my manager. I don't have one, but if I got one. This is actually what we were hearing, I think. Downstairs.

That was me again, sir. The apartment building. Okay. I have a digestion issue. So what? What of it? Did you see Kevin's shirt? Oh, yeah.

We talked about this because I was early. You two were late, but I was actually early. So we had a full conversation. What's on your shirt? It's a chain in Pittsburgh called the Primanti Brothers. Thirsty, yes. Primanti Brothers, yes. And what are they famous for?

Took a sip. This is, you gotta. Great time. Great time to take a sip. They're sandwiches. What? What? I couldn't understand what he said.

Tuna sandwiches. Tuna sandwiches? No. Two sandwiches? They're famous for putting the French fries in the sandwich. You could do a food show. This could explain your digestion issue a little bit. I don't think we can do a food

show we can't what's wrong with that food is some of the most dangerous is actually material yeah on earth well you cannot so by all means go off if you're interested in doing a show that that promotes food okay but some of it is unbelievably hot done it in irresponsible ways but it's so hot yeah it's a lot of it needs to be cooked or you get sick and uh your ass could choke there's no dirt there's almost some of it has directions on it but most of it has no directions on the food itself like when you buy a cucumber it doesn't have doesn't zero information sometimes doesn't even say cucumber yeah okay so what are you interested in i'm hearing a lot of no's but i'm not hearing a lot of yeses so it's like you know honesty when you're pitching you have to if you're gonna say no to somebody else's

pitch you can't just say no you have to have a better idea well my idea is that your idea is bad. That is my idea. Then why am I here? I don't fucking know, man. This is part of the whole thing of like, if we could have gotten you when we originally tried to book you six years ago before your team came at us and sent sent us all that like legal material and shit then maybe we would have been able to by now have gotten to market with a documentary we can agree on what's the team how's the team feeling about the documentary team at this point i i i didn't tell them about

this today i'm gonna be honest that's the only way this happened. That makes more sense to me. Yeah. Because there's no way they were going to relent. You had to go through Mike Mitchell and that's how you got it. I admire you guys. You got it done. And so that's what the pimple sticker is for. It's a disguise. Yes.

Because this pimple is so distinctive to me. Is that Gillian Jacobs? My client has perfect skin. No, that can't be Gillian. Who's the team right now? Who are we working with? My mom. Batting first.

My mom. Fire her ass. Call her and fire her. Okay. Her dog. In center field. Mom's dog yep my mom what's the dog's name fella that's gonna cause a lot of trouble at the park okay okay fire fella okay can you imagine all yes okay can you imagine all the fellas at the park?

He's fired. Me as well. Sure. Me as well. I'll come there. Of course. I'm coming here now. Are you done?

It's time to go. No, he's not. All the fellas leave the park. Apologies. Yeah, they leave their dogs there. Chaos. All right, they're fired. It's fucking chaos it's fucking chaos okay it's time to move on okay who who's smart list guys have are there is are their teams on the doc series teams are teaming as well kevin who's on their team e-m-i-n-g well there's

two gives the smart list guys team there's two private jet pilots, and they help when guys are horsing around, and they break a door in the plane. What? So then the pilots fix a door. The team broke the door? No. No, the boys were horsing around. The Smart List guys are going to ham.

John Hamm was there? I wish, man. He's done the show. He did our show. I mean, I know one of the SmartList guys' team. I got Arnett's development guy's phone number. Should we

just reach out to him on the show? Let's do it now. Engineer Devin too. Engineer Devin works on that show? He works at SmartList. He works at SmartList He works at Smartless. Who was the engineer on Failed Science?

We don't need to talk about that. It's not their fault. Okay, we're getting engineer Devin. So you don't remember? We don't need to talk about it. This is like, don't. Kevin's about to get his ass curled by engineer Devin. Hi, Devin

What's up bud You're on a Hollywood handbook Hell yeah Never happened before We're working on making a documentary This is how our booking is supposed to go by the way Can you just do that?

Can people just say hell yeah when we reach out? We're trying to make a documentary like the Smart List Boys, and we're wondering if you could give us some help. Okay, sure, yeah, absolutely. Okay, take it away. Take it away. You're out, Chief. Do you have any tips? Does any insight to be in the documentary are

you in the doc at all uh no i've only met one third of them let's guess let's guess gotta be gotta be sean yep it's certainly sean yes it's absolutely there was because he engineered any doubt because he engineers and you said they don't have any spinoffs, but he does engineer Sean Hayes' Will & Grace recap podcast. Okay, I didn't know that. We could do a love recap podcast. Okay, yeah. Two cast members.

I actually produce the recap show, so it's not just an engineering situation. We love love. I'm actually a little bit higher up in the world these days. He produces the Will & Grace spinoff podcast, what he said. Yeah, I said that. Thirsty ass. I said that to be for him.

How did they get someone? Love Ladies? Was it shot on film? Was it shot on film? Office Love. Yeah, it is shot on film. How'd they get the cameras? How'd they get the cameras?

Yeah, great question question this is huge we almost forgot to talk about that i almost wore my panavision hat today yes i think it was a rental yeah they didn't buy them see that's i would have bought them in the long term that would have saved them some money i think with the danger of yeah just buy the equipment then rent it out to other productions something with the smart was seen horsing around like they do how many cameras did they have going oh god at least 12 shoot 12 film cameras we're only talking about three in this dodeca vision whoa whoa whoa and um what was the pitch deck like for the for the doc oh it's so short you wouldn't believe it

oh we're just gonna film these guys it was so short it was two sentences number it just the pitch doc was the number 80 million could you like give us some um like outtakes from the podcast yeah what what did make it to? And we can do some face replacement. Can we use those? Can we use some stuff from the cutting room floor? Yeah. Are there any fun areas they've explored? Do you know the guy that swept up the unused film

footage? The guy that... You know how sometimes you can get a big bag of hair from the barbershop? What? You know how if you go at the end of the barbershop day, you can just for free eat all the hair that they were going to put out back? It's still pretty fresh.

They can't use it the next day. They're not allowed to use it the following day, so they just have to give it away, but it's good if you wait outside. Can we get that, Devin? I didn't have access to the bag of hair clips i i wasn't allowed access to it they were kept in a kind of a locked bin basically you had to have a code to get into it and i i was like given the code he's like taking over being like this thirsty to alpha or something

like he's really pushing me around on my own show well i mean like i feel like i've just vanished what do you have to say to the 80 million dollar man i mean what what are you two gonna say that's right yeah 10 years yeah i could buy three podcasts networks later sell me 100 times over yeah what do you think is the secret to your success what can we uh learn from you god that's a good question i know he's gonna say it again the secret to my success is just is just doing the work doing the work and doing it well kevin's phone is so loud how do you get that it well kevin's phone is so loud how do you get that gillian's loud like but it's just everything's like too loud right who's the network for um the doc series it's max oh it's max god damn it call them okay we don't want to hold you up because dan good t-shirt we we know that they have to um

you you probably have a lot of like money to count or something it is it is funny because i'm literally in a meeting right now but doing this instead who's in a meeting uh all the like marketing people talking about launching the show that i'm producing so i should probably get back can we merge calls yeah can we get them on on because we could use them to help market the marketing for your podcast isn't going to be that different from how we would market this, right?

That's right. Pretty much the same I would think. Alright, well thank you so much, Devin. Give us a lot to chew on for sure. Do you have to show us? My first appearance on this show in two years i'm sorry it's so thank you i'm so sorry it's professional to have like other shit to it's unprofessional to have other shit to do that's like the most professional thing in the world okay he he he

said do the work and that means be here now earlier yeah be here now but But. I think you should just accept defeat. That's what I'm going to say to you both. They've won. They kind of won't let us. Who? It's just like everything. Like they won't let us be successful and they also won't let us fail. Why don't you go more niche then?

More niche? and they also won't let us fail. Why don't you go more niche then? Because micro influencing is now, it's like you don't want a huge following, you want a small but dedicated following. I micro influenced just before I did this show. Yes, so you got to go more niche. This is, you know, maybe it's not the Hollywood handbook, it's the Hollywood hand.

More niche, game hand. More niche game hand. More niche. Say again. Bye. Hollywood handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.