Hollywood Handbook - Griffin Newman, Our Movies Friend

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

The Boys talk to GRIFFIN NEWMAN about some of these interesting movies and wonder where Hayes went. Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum podcast. Where are you staying? Yeah, I was just about to ask where you crash and where you stay, where you, where you lay your head at while you're here on the finer coast, my friend. When's this episode coming out? Just cause I don't want to, you know, I don't want to put the info out there. Well, it's going to come out. It's going to come out one day before you leave.

Okay. So when they, if you end up arranging something, it'll only be for one night. Okay. So you don't have to worry about like stretching it out beyond that. I like making it a challenge like that. I'm staying at Style Downtown Los Angeles by Casa.

Style Downtown Los Angeles by Casa. No, I haven't been to the one by Casa yet. You haven't been to the one by Casa. Style downtown Los Angeles by Casa. No, I haven't been to the one by Casa yet. You haven't been to the one by Casa. No, I stay at style downtown Los Angeles a lot. Let's face it, I'm in the dog house with the Mrs. pretty often. I know. And so I head downtown to style.

I haven't been to the one by Casa. Casa does a nice job. They do. They do. They take care of you over Casa. Casa does a nice job. They do, they do. They take care of you over there. They had a really interesting idea, which is basically the Ace Hotel announced it was closing. Oh yes, yes, yes. And then they did close.

And then Casa moved in. Follow through, that kind of follow through you don't see a lot from like corporations like that. They stuck to their work. Casa swung in there about five days after they closed. Reopened about five days after that. They stuck to their word. CASA swung in there about five days after they closed. Reopened about five days after that. Well, all the stuff was still there, the toothpaste and all those things.

You gotta get in there really fast. This is why CASA is kind of interesting. Okay. No toothpaste. They took stuff out. They said, what if hotels gave you less? Let's really pare it down. What if it feels like no one works here and there are no amenities?

Well, that's like Casa. That's what it's like in my Casa. That's the Casa style. No one is working there. No, which I like. There's barely any amenities. It's kind of like a Dogma 95 hotel. It feels very conceptual.

Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That makes me feel like I'm, I'm in the Revenant. Yes. You know what I mean? But I'm in a nice hotel. Yes. But I'm also sort of in the Revenant, which.

Yeah. Let's face it. You're a movie guy. Mm-hmm. We're due for a rewatch. Yeah. Are we all gonna rewatch the Revenant together while Griffin's here?

Let's just own up to it now. here? Let's just be honest and say, we watched it at the time, but we haven't rewatched it yet, have we? You know what's interesting? Cause I'm still marinating on it. You know, I saw it at the time and I'm still marinating. Not ready for a rewatch? I think I'm finally ready for a rewatch.

I think so too. And I'm feeling that way. I think it's time for me to hold up to it. Do you want to make it official? I think I am finally ready for a rewatch. And I did sit in the front row for that movie to give me the longest possible window that I would need a rewatch. Yes.

So let's make it official. So, okay, this is episode, which episode did you say this was? 585 or something? 87. 587, okay. So, okay, this is episode, which episode did you say this was? 585 or something? 87. 587. Okay, so this is 587. It's official today and man of my word,

Revenant Rewatch, Griffin Hayes, the Clem Dog. Kevin, you wanna watch the movie? I'll join. You in on this, Kev? Yeah. Okay, so we'll watch it together. That could be a choice pro version as well. And as a control, Kevin should watch it somewhere else.

Yeah. Okay. Maybe you can watch it near a soundboard with Matt Apodaca or something. I'll do director's commentary. I'll watch that version. Did you direct it? No. Well, that's some interesting appropriation.

Some terminology's sacred. Yeah. And of course, Kevin would see a Spanish man and be like, I should be the one doing that. Why am I not allowed to say that I directed this movie? Oh hey, that's me. A Spanish man. Let me talk about what it was like making this movie. Well, I'm as, I, I, I'm as capable as any Spanish man to direct a movie,

Kevin says, and it's just like, maybe, maybe check on that. Maybe, maybe take another look at that idea before we go ahead and let it out of the head through the mouth into the podcast world. You guys can appropriate my ass. Well, we'll So it's the past tense. Kevin thinks he appropriate, but actually he appropriate ain't he just

ain't yeah that's right appropriate ain't but the reverend it was something of an awards darling it wasn't it and that was a reward season best director actor best actor on the cinematography took home some very choice hardware hardware one couple couple little gold men on the mantel. And we're- Excuse me, guys. I need a little boost right now. You don't mind, if we're taking a break,

I'd love to join in. Pack a lip. I don't know if you noticed, I came fully reppin'. You got your AG in one hat. Yeah. Geared. You've got your pack.

You know that AG stands for Alan Gregory? And tis the season, is it not? You've got your pack. Mm-hmm. You know that A.G. stands for Alan Gregory? Mm. And tis the season, is it not? It's come back around, hasn't it? For Alan Gregory? No, for the hardware. It's that time of year, it's Oscar season. It's Oscar season, and we're not gonna have our main man, Griffin, on this show without touching on some of the awards darlings.

Yeah. And I don't know if we have another Revenant this year in us. It's been a good year for movies. It's been a weird year. It's been a good year for movies but it's been a little strange. It's been a little strange. And I don't know if we have a runaway like the Revenant where it's getting best, you know, actor, best director, other than Kevin, I guess. I mean, this is a thing I keep hearing. Some people are saying, I don't know if anyone's gonna get best director or best actor this year. It's a weird year. Yes, and I'm one of the people that says it.

Yeah, they might not give it. And does it feel like you talk about this role that you play in the movie universe, does it feel so insane to have that power over like whether, just by putting it out there in the world, whether anyone gets that award at all. Absolutely, no it's crazy because it used to just be like, I'm just a guy, right?

Isn't it weird, I was just another schmo on the bus. I know. Now all of a sudden I'm driving the bus, oh by the way, I'm also deciding if the bus is the bus from the movie Speed and whether that gets an award. Right, and I like made the bus by hand. Yeah. And everyone thinks I'm a hero. You know what I'm saying? Yes, and I like made the bus by hand. Yeah.

And everyone thinks I'm a hero. You know what I'm saying? Yes, and this other guy is like there. Just for being yourself. You know it's you. You know what I mean? Cause I just said. The other guy's there, but like it's your bus.

This is the thing, like I used to wake up every morning and put on shoes and like go outside. And now I wake up every morning and I put on shoes and go outside. And now I wake up every morning and I put on shoes and I go outside and people are like, what do you think? Right? Yeah. Well, you used to wake up every morning

and put on shoes and go outside. Yeah. Now, you're Griffin waking up every morning. That's the thing. Putting on Griffin's shoes. In clothes. And walking out of Griffin's house. Right, and I have to think like, what does that mean? What does that represent? You know, so when I'm talking about movies and like, like even just the conversation we were just having.

Go ahead and tell me about it. Is it time for a Revenant rewatch? I'm here doing the math. I'm like- We just talked about this. If I endorse this idea- That's so crazy. We were just talking about this one second ago. Are you fucking kidding me, Griffin? That's so insane. We were honestly just talking about this one second ago. Are you fucking kidding me, Griffin? That's so insane. We were honestly just talking about this, literally on this podcast with you one second ago.

Am I lying? I feel like I'm in a fucking Twilight Zone episode. We were just talking about this rewatching The Revenant with Griffin. With Griffin on this show. And he brings it up, I go, something is happening now. I don't know if it's like the singularity or something is getting closer, but it feels that way.

We both had the juice packet. Yeah. And we're both talking about this rewatch. Rewatching The Revenant. This is truly like the darndest thing cause I'm sitting here thinking like literally just a minute ago. Yeah. Sean the Clem dog yeah being like hey Griffin do you think it's time for a revenant rewatch that's exactly what I remember

him asking exactly and we made it was saying this episode right yes so when I answered that was because you asked on this podcast so let's just say let's say what you think about like some of these different movies. Let's just use this to say what you think about them. You just do it on this show. You don't do it on any other show. You just do it on this show.

You just say what you think. I'd like for this show to be the more, at least for awards and movies, for this to be kind of where you get your takes out there, your opinions. Cause we do have kind of a good platform for that. A lot of people like movies. Sure.

A lot of people listen to the show. You know, there's bound to be some overlap. Meanwhile, you're here, you know what you think about it. I do, I do. Or in some cases, maybe you don't. Yeah, yeah. You know, sometimes I see a movie, I don't know what to think.

Still processing. I go, um, that just happened. Right, I'm like the little pinwheel on the computer, you know, that's just like, okay, not yet loaded, you know? Yes. Sometimes some movies do be like that. I might have a different computer than you. Interesting.

Which is fine. That would have been a good tagline for B-movie. Sometimes movies be like that. Oh. Sometimes movies be like this. Sometimes movies be like this. Sometimes movies be like this. Sometimes movies be like that. Oh. Sometimes movies be like this. Sometimes movies be like this. Sometimes movies be like this. Yeah, and his eyebrows are kind of like this.

He's kind of cocked like. So let's just say some of the different ones. Okay, and now I have, just because I know the words I put out into this space, right, hold a lot of water. Go off. And the winds can whip wildly from one side to another based on my opinions. I really have to be deliberate in what I say. So I created a system

with all these moves are going to talk about. I got two categories. Okay. Either you're gold or you're mold. Okay. It's time to play gold and mold. Although it's not a game, is it? It's not a game. The stakes are very real. But the sharp money's on gold this year. Look, I think all of the movies we're gonna talk about are hoping they bring home the gold this year. Well, and I think every movie is either gold or mold.

Right, because if they're not getting the gold, they're gonna end up growing some mold on a shelf. So let's start with one of the movies. Okay. A Meal with the Prez. Ah. Now this one is interesting. What do you think of this movie?

This one? It's interesting. This one is interesting. And people are mad at it for being too interesting, I think. It's so funny. I remember seeing it. Okay.

Okay. Okay, and watching it. Okay, go on. And then thinking, this one is interesting. I literally was thinking that. Let. Okay. Okay. And watching it. Okay. Go on. And then thinking this one is interesting. I literally. Let's go. Yes. Griffith. Let's go. Yes. And I was like, hold your horses. Yeah. Let's see how you feel at the end. And it ended. And I was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that was interesting. And this is where David's like, hang on. Can we like shut off the podcast for a second? Yeah. Are you sure you want to say that? Yeah. Yes. Well, because he's like a journalist. You know what I a second? Are you sure you wanna say that? Yeah.

Yes. Well, cause he's like a journalist. You know what I'm saying? Like I come at this from a very different angle. Well, you're an industry outside. Yeah. I mean, who happens to work in the business? I'm working both sides of the line.

But David is very much a tool of the establishment. He is. Emphasis on tool. Yep. And emphasis on establishment. Yes. And emphasis on establishment. Yes. And I'll tell you what kind of tool he is. A hoe.

David is a hoe. Don't I know it? David Sims' hoe ass is stumping for these, Say it. For the woke liberal media agenda and these outlets that are trying to force down my throat these messages that have nothing to do with my lived experience.

Yes. And frankly, I think are maybe not even really happening some of this what they're talking about. No, and it's also just like, look, if I wanted lessons, I'd go to school. Yeah. That's the other thing. Which by the way, I would like to do that.

I would love to do that. I would like to. I would love to do that. By the way, that sounds really good. That sounds incredible. That's not where I am. There's so much I don't know. No.

And I don't know how to learn it. That sounds so good. Okay, guys. Yeah. We've got to take a class together. We, okay, can we commit us three. That, guys, we've gotta take a class together. We, okay, can we commit? That'd be so nice to take a school class together. If there's a Revenant school class,

that's perfect because we were gonna plan on rewatching it anyway. Kevin, what episode is this? Kevin, which episode? 587. 587. And there must be a thing where some guys can get together and just like, we all go in together on a teacher.

Yes. You know what I mean? Yes. Like if we all came in and like. That's like a great break go in together on a teacher. Yes. You know what I mean? Yes. Like if we all pitch in and like. That's like a great group, right. Teach me you're having in class. Yes. And we'll just, and we'll all get a teacher.

This is a good question. Is there a Groupon for class? I would love to go to class. Is there a Groupon for class in school? That sounds so good. We have to look at that. Like a class groupon, like a cloupon. No, like a group cloup, like a cloup.

Yes. Like a cloup. A cloup. Like a cloup. Like a cloup. A school cloup, like a school. A scoupon. Like a discoupon.

A cloup. Like a cloup discoupon. You know, for class. Do you know, we're having so much difficulty right now figuring out what that would be called. Yes. Can you imagine how much easier it would be if a teacher teach us?

Dude, yeah, no, that's why I'm saying. So like, I obviously don't want David to teach me because he's not, it's not authentic. It's not authentic. He's actually approaching it with- He's got an agenda. An agenda and his interests are, you know. Have been perverted.

They're perverted, he's a fucking pervert. He's a fucking pervert. He's a fucking ho pervert. He's a fucking ho pervert. And I'd love to have him here. Of course. If he's back in town, I'd love to have him here. He's a fucking pervert. He's a fucking pervert. He's a fucking ho. He's a fucking ho pervert. And I'd love to have him here. Of course. If he's back in town, I'd love to have him here now. He's a dear friend.

And I'm not saying anything I wouldn't say to his face. Absolutely. Mm-hmm. That I would actually relish the opportunity to say to his face. I wish I could say it to his face. Yes. If he ever shows his face in here,

I'm gonna be saying it quite a bit louder than this. Yeah, and I'm gonna be looking him right in the eyes. And multiple times I'm gonna be saying it. Quite a bit louder than this. Yeah, and I'm gonna be looking him right in the eyes. And multiple times I'm gonna be saying it. Yeah. It just doesn't really reflect my lived experience. What do you think the odds are for Cool Man Dominoes? Okay. Okay. Well, let's admit, this movie's a little divisive.

This one actually, to borrow a phrase from Griffin, is interesting. It's so divisive that some say it's just one guy and it's not even a movie. I know, it's crazy. And it's like, I can't remember the last time we were arguing over whether something was a movie or not, which I think is good. Do you know what I'm saying? No, that for the discourse to progress, I mean, other than the last time we did it, which I can't even remember when that was.

But for it to get either back there or to there for the first time is actually a mark of a positive development to me. The fact that we're even arguing is good because it means that people are locking in. They're engaged, they're thinking about it. I think in my mind, and it was a little different, I think the last time we weren't sure about this,

whether something was a movie, may have actually been Mr. Bean. It might have been Mr. Bean. Because it was a show. It was a show. It was definitely a Mr. Bean. Because it was a show. It was a show. It was definitely a show. Yeah. But it was also kind of a movie.

It was kind of a movie. Well, and we're right back there. His life's certainly a movie. Yeah. Yeah, and we're not gonna solve that. But here's what's tough. And this is funny, okay? If I can say so.

Yeah. You're saying, of course, to start out he was a show. Of course. But then he was a show. Of course. But then he was also kind of a movie. He was also kind of a movie. But you must have been doing something before that. Well, yeah, we're not addressing the elephant in the room. He was a guy.

Yes. And he is a guy. Mr. Bean is first and foremost a guy. Which is exactly what Hayes' argument was. Yes. That's exactly what Hayes is. So he was a guy and then a show and then maybe a movie? It's hard to. It's hard to, that's interesting.

It's hard, it's interesting and they snubbed him and so some pundits think that Cool Man Domino might kinda get a makeup award. I think it's Domino's. Sure. I think it's Cool Man Domino's with an apostrophe, yes. I've been saying Dona Noose. I just think this is part of the interesting discourse

is that we don't even know what it's called. What do you think about the strategy of being a movie where people are talking about other movies and being like, maybe this movie should get an award, or that movie should get some award. And then you name your movie so that your movie is like, hey, I'm still here. Yeah.

What do you think about that approach? Yeah, that's interesting. It's interesting. I don't wanna put words in your mouth. Can voters chafe at this? Ah, God. Kevin, we're recording this? This is going out there?

Yes. He's nervous. They're gonna drag me for this one. He's nervous. No, that's good. I wanna touch the third rail here on this show. Okay, I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. Our best episodes, Griffin, are the ones

where we are actively canceled for what we say on them. Yeah. I mean, those are the ones that actually end up sticking in people's memories and becoming a part of the national conversation, which is what this movie's trying to do. Because then they listen to that one

and then they also listen to the next one where we have to talk about it again. Totally, because they gotta know where the film is. And that gives us something to talk about on the next one that we usually don't have. It actually gives us three or four episodes. Yeah.

So for me, I don't like when movies are liars, okay? Yeah. And I'll explain what I mean by that. Yeah, please. A lot of these movies I see are pretending to not be movies, or at the very least aren't being upfront about it. So I'm watching characters talk to each other in places doing scenes, and I'm like, you're just not even going to mention that this is a movie?

You know what I'm saying? It's rude. It's rude. And so I kinda like it when movies are not only talking about other movies. It's fact checking. We need fact checking. We need fact checking.

I mean we need fact checking. Acknowledging that they're a movie, but also being like, hey look at me. And they're biased. Cause isn't that what movies is? Movies is halo. Well they're biased, I mean it's David Sand. I mean it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, and it's, it's.

It does kind of go back to David. By the way, he's the one who, I mean I believe he's the one who said like, let's get rid of fact checking. Because he doesn't want, he doesn't want people to know if it's a movie or not. Because then he can trick. And I just wanted to like, I don't approve of this at all. But what he said we should replace fact checking with,

I don't think we should just ignore. But what he said we should replace fact checking with, I don't think we should just ignore. But he said we should replace it with fat chicken. With his ho ass. That's what he said. That's what he said. I don't love it. That made me actually upset when he said that. And by the way, whatever.

Whatever. I think we should replace some of it with that. Not that, and by the way, whatever. Yeah. Whatever. Like I'm not, I'm- I think we should replace some of it with that. Of course. Some of it. I don't think it should be replaced. I think that should be happening and fact checking should be happening.

Also by the way, lice checking. We barely do that anymore. Back shots. We don't do that anymore. Back shots. Back shots. Back shots. I can't remember the last time- That should be happening. Someone ran their fingers- Sometimes with David's idea. Sometimes shots. Back shots. Back shots. I can't remember the last time. That should be happening. Someone ran their fingers.

Some of it. David's idea. But I think, you know. Sometimes. Sometimes. But it's just not like, what I don't like is that it's just this all or nothing like competitive, it's a scarcity mindset.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's a scarcity mindset. And I You know? Yeah. It's a scarcity mindset. And I really wanna, I wanna be in abundance on this show, especially. I mean, can I say this, Kevin, are we recording? Yep.

So sometimes David would come into record. Wait, wait, wait. Yes. So sometimes David would come into records and he'd be like really wound up, right? No. And I'd be like, what's wrong? And he's like, my fucking editors.

And I was like, what? He was like, they fact-checked me. And I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, you should welcome that. You should welcome that. That's what I said. And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, I wrote a review that said

that movie is good and they told me no movie is bad. But that shows they care. It shows that people are actually reading. They're actually paying attention. The fact is that the movie is bad. And they're engaging with the material. Your ethical responsibility to communicate that to the public, you have a platform, you know?

If movie is bad, don't say movie is good. Well, yes, that's right. But his That's but his right courses that his back edge. He need a little scratch from the studio. Yeah once. Mm-hmm He's get out the payola big big back scratch green one. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah bread Yeah, he's his back scratch backs. That's green back green bread. Yeah,. His green bread backs. Mm-hmm. Jolly green giant back scratcher of bread. Yeah. And you know why he's so jolly? Cause he's loaded.

It's cause the guy's got so much. He's loaded. Damn. The guy's loaded. And we think he's not connected to the studios. What? I think he's not connected to Paramount. What?

This guy that's always saying, I'd like to mount a pair of those. Oh yeah. With his whole ass. I mean, this is like what he's saying. This is what I've heard him actually say to me. Yeah. And nice guy, by the way, sweet guy,

what a close friend. Yeah. But he's actually said that to me. And I've noticed lately, and do you remember when the Guy Cooke commercial had the little wad of money with the eyes? Vividly. Vividly. Yeah, so he was watching you.

Yeah. He would play Rockwell's, I always thought somebody was watching me. Oh yeah. David is friends with that guy. David's friends with that guy. Not only, David's like good friends with that guy. Because he's so into it. He's so in it.

He's so in it. And people think that guy isn't in bed with the studios, the wad of money with the eyeballs. Yes. The studios are obsessed with that guy. We think he's not in with 20th Century Fox. This guy who goes right asking for a 20th dollar in a box. He's just delivering 20th dollars in a box.

Every 20th dollar has to be hand delivered to him in a box. In a box. With his hoe ass. Oh, this guy's not friends with Sony. The guy goes, Sony the money! Sony the money. It's unbelievable. Sony the money.

With his hoe ass. It's right there. People think, and it's crazy, I understand it's just ignorance. I'm not even judging, it's just naivete. But people genuinely think that he's not friends with Warner Brothers. When he's saying, hey, please, Warner Brother,

that I'm about to make a bunch of money. If you see the SEC, Warner Brother. Yeah. Because I'm doing some shady things. I'm doing some shady things. I'm doing some shady things. That's really, it's really bad. It's really bad out there.

It's really bad. It's really bad. It's a really, it's a bad. It's really bad out there. It's really bad. It's really bad. It's a really, it's a scary time to tell the truth. Can I say that? No, it's become effectively illegal. Yeah. To actually sit down and just say something that's true. Right.

And just go, okay, like even I was scared for you when you were saying that the one movie was interesting. Yeah. That really scared me. You don't know the shit I'm gonna get for that, honestly. Reddit's gonna have a fucking field day. You're a warrior. I...

You're a warrior, you're going into battle. I pick up a shield when I need to, right? I don't define myself as a warrior, but if the slings and arrows are coming at me, yeah, I'm gonna pick up a shield. And by the way, Griffin, I'll hold the sword and I'll be out there slaying some of these beasts. As long as you have the shield and like.

And by the way, Kevin and Hayes have my back. And when you finally do watch Game of Thrones, Griffin, what you're gonna realize is that I am like Kowhisi and that I do have two very mighty dragons at my disposal. And while that can be scary for those who oppose me, they actually fight for my friends as well. So you will come to love these gorgeous monsters of mine.

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Save 20% site wide plus a free travel case and countertop stand at getquipquip.com slash Hollywood. Getquipquip.com slash Hollywood get quip q up.com slash Hollywood. Nice. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. Can we, can we talk about it? God, I mean, I'm like shaking.

I'm nervous to talk about, but I feel like we have to. Like that's like exactly what. It's so wild. Cause we were literally just talking. We literally were just talking about how scary it is. I'm like, talk about this shit. I'm like, I'm still like processing what just happened. So, um, all right. So, uh, for anyone who's listening, obviously you heard that we've been saying some things that really shouldn't be considered that dangerous. That are actually things that you could buy a ticket and go to the theater and just watch a movie.

So we were talking about a movie and I don't know if they're still out there. So I don't wanna say the name of it, but it's like, it's one of the awards movies. And Hayes said, which I don't know why this is even a problem, but he said that he had seen it and that he thought it was interesting, that it was actually something that he was still

kind of thinking about and even left the theater, he kind of took it home with him. Even just hearing you repeat the words, it still doesn't sound real. Do you know what I'm saying? No, because it's like, we used to say this about things. We used to say this about things. Even the Revenant, we used to.

But like he basically said, you know, that it was interesting and that he had some thoughts on it. And I don't know what agency, I don't know if that was. I don't know. I don't wanna guess. Yeah. Like. FBI,. I don't wanna guess. Yeah. Like. FBI, CAA.

I don't wanna guess. I don't wanna guess. ICE or like NSA or something. I mean, that's who's listening to these things, right? No, it might've been, yeah. It might've been. It would be good for him if it was UTA. He, they kicked in the door and seized Hayes.

And he was fucking crying, snot coming out of his nose, snot getting in his mouth. I had never seen him like that before. I had not seen him. I hadn't seen him so, cause there was like a lot of snot coming out of his nose. And he was like really trying to like get it, like slurp it.

You know what I mean? Where I was like, I'm used to him trying to wipe it away or something when he's that upset. But I think he's worried they're not gonna feed him in whatever cell they put him in. I don't know if this is gonna sound mean, but you have to understand also, like we're still processing what just happened.

Yes, for anyone who hears this and goes, this isn't an appropriate reaction, we're actually trying to move on with an episode when something really scary just happened to my friend. Yes. So yeah. They're pulling him away, and the amount of snot coming out of his face,

and I've never seen that before. I've never seen that much. It was like, for a second I was like, am I looking at a garbage pail kit? It was, yes. He put one finger in one nostril and one finger at the other nostril and then he like spread them out like this.

Yes. And it was like a little kind of like curtains. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. And it was dripping and I was like, I thought this was haze not messy tessie. No, it really did feel like it was like a messy tessie or like a- It felt not messy tessie. No, it really did feel like it was like a messy tessie or like a-

It felt like messy tessie. Yeah, and I don't even know how to do one with haze. I don't either. It would probably be like hairy haze or something. That has nothing to do with what I saw. No. Like it would be like, but- Haze, daven, snort.

Haze, daven, snot. Hayes, Daven, Snot. Hayes, Daven, Snot. But at any rate, yeah, and I mean, one point it was like the droop of the mucus was spelling words in cursive. Like it seemed like it was trying to spell out a name for him, but they got him out before, you know, before I could get a good read of it.

We should all, I mean, we should mention when they were pulling him out the door and he was trying to push the snot back in, it did make him puke. Yeah, he threw up, which was like, honestly, totally understandable given the circumstances, especially with how much he had ingested. And I don't hold anyone responsible in a time of crisis

like that for how they react. Some of it's physiological, and some of it's just panic. Some of it's psychological. It's just panic, you know what I mean? But he was, and I'll just say it, I'm just like fucking like, at this point, I'm just like, fuck them. I know.

It was like, so the movie was called A Complete Unc Noun. Yes. And so it's like, you was like, so it was, the movie was called a complete unc noun. Yes. And so like, it's like, you know, we all talk about unc. Yeah. And Hayes was like, you know, when I think of unc, like, I don't know if I think about this dude necessarily,

but like maybe I should. And that's interesting to me. Yeah. And I was like, okay, go off. And then bang. That's the thing. It's so crazy. What the fuck? You hear someone say something like that. And then bang, that's the thing. It's so crazy.

You hear someone say something like that and your first thought is not. Oh, in 30 seconds flat, this guy's going to be covered in his own. He's covered in puke and snot, puke and snot and actually like looking kind of fucking fugly, dude. Yeah, it's like not looking like because he looks and he's a dear friend. He's a oh my fucking fugly, dude. Just like not looking like, cause he's- And he's a dear friend. He's a, oh my God, nice looking guy. Good looking guy. Nice looking, no, I honestly-

He's a pretty man. No, he, most days, he could get it. Yeah. But I don't know about ever seeing that. He gives it out as well. Yeah, for whatever it is. For whatever it is he does, he gives it to you. Yeah, he can get it and he gives it. And from what I heard. He gives it out as well. Yeah, from what I heard he does. He gives it to you.

Yeah, yeah. He can get it and he gives it. And he gives it to you. But he looked bad. He does both. But well, now that I've seen him that way, like it's hard to see him. It's hard to unsee him.

You know what I mean? I don't wanna say that like I, that I've got the ick from the way Hayes behaved when he was being seized by some unnamed government agency. I didn't think you were saying that. I would never accuse you of saying that. But that could be a way one would get the ick. That is a way that one could get the ick.

And he was crying, right? Let's just say it. He was crying and he's a dear friend and a beautiful man. And I miss him already. Great guy, smart guy. Smart as a whip. Oh my God. Some of the things he says about David Sims,

I don't always agree with. I don't, he comes in a little- David's nice. Well, it seems like there's something personal there. There's something there because I'm like, here with him- He's cool. David's great.

He's one of my best friends. Yeah, I love him. You know, like I literally host a podcast with him and he's sitting there saying these horrible things. Well, I used to host one with Hayes, but lately I felt like I have to distance myself a little bit, you know? It's so weird.

I feel like you would get this. Yeah, go ahead. It's so weird how there are these guys who are like your friends. Yeah. And then you're like talking and talking. And so- This is freaking me out. Go ahead.

I think I'm thinking just what you're saying. One day you're talking and talking and talking. Oh, what's this? It's a microphone. Yeah. And then the next thing you know, people are listening. And that is nutsome. People are printing out graphtreon.com,

showing you stats. You're like, whoa, I never expected this They're printing graph to run for you guys. And then you look at the guy and you're like, I don't even recognize him anymore Yeah, I you know what I'm saying this guy. I used to know this friend and now he's like just a graph tree on chart Now it's just a graph. I'm just looking at a graph tree on chart. Yeah, and I don't I don't know like it's like something happens to them. I know, they change. They change. And I don't think it's a good thing

that he was arrested or whatever, but I don't. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, least of all Hayes. But there's an extent to it, it seemed like he did need like a little bit of a reset or a little bit of a break. Someone who was saying about the movie I didn't agree with. I did that. I didn't think it should be said. Here's the thing.

Sometimes we do podcasts and David comes in and he is like, yeah, I saw that movie and my finger is hovering over 911, you know? And I'm just like- This is a dangerous person. This is a dangerous person. This is a dangerous person. And honestly, this is me trying to help him. That is really where I am,

is the thing I hope for Hayes. Obviously, if you had asked me yesterday, I would have said I hope he doesn't get arrested by whoever, you know Fucking al-qaeda or whatever came in here. Yeah, I don't know who that was I couldn't tell what was going on for them. Did it seem like he knew them it did. He said hey man, what's up? Which That to me made me like at first almost at ease.

Yeah. But the snot and everything was like not. And then the second guy walked in and he went, hey, nice to see you again. That to me was such an unusual thing to say to someone who was from either a terrorist organization or like possibly a government agency or possibly a talent agency or management company.

It could be any of the three and honestly, it could be all three. And it could, yes, it could be all of them. And he was trying to kiss or they did, like they were all doing something with their faces close to each other, which I was like with that much coming out of him, I wouldn't even go near it.

With the crying and the breathing, there were like snot bubbles and he's trying to kiss and I'm like, that bubble's gonna pop. It's gonna pop, yeah. That's gonna be part of the kiss. That's gonna be part of the kiss. It was so garbage pail kids coded to me. Really?

Was? It's crazy that you're saying that because I was thinking that. And now I'm wondering if they were, because we keep saying we don't know who they were and I'm wondering if they were garbage pail kids. It's so funny you say that. They were adults, but they looked familiar in a way.

I was a little worried to say it before because I was like, you might be jumping in conclusion. Now that you mention it, one of the guy, short pants, shirt, tie, little blazer, remote control in his hand. He was in the middle of pushing the button and his head is exploding. And I went, that seems familiar. Yeah.

That image. A little bit. Is as actually. You know, and I don't wanna like, a stereotype and generalize. Yeah. You know, and I don't wanna like stereotype and generalize. Yeah. But traditionally, if you see short pants, shirt, tie, blazer, remote control with one button.

He's pressing the button himself. And then go boom. And his head is exploding. You can usually safely say, you might be a garbage man. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're taking this positive profiling. You know what I'm saying?

No, it's, well, and it's also like some of these, all of the stereotypes were not invented out of whole cloth from no, you know what I mean? We're not saying that. And there's cultural reasons that someone would be pressing a button to make their head explode. And there's obviously like societal someone would be pressing a button to make their head explode. And there's obviously like societal-

I can imagine several scenarios. That have impact. Where it makes sense. And it's like the family. It's the thing to do. And so it's not a place of judgment. And I don't know. It's more of a place of love for me.

What I'm saying is I don't know. I don't know. But what it looked like based on my experience. Yeah. I'm just some guy. You know what I mean? I happen to what it looked like. Yeah. Based on my experience. Yeah. I'm just some guy. You know what I mean? I happen to be very good at podcasting. One of the best guys I know.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Smart as a whip. That's stupid. I don't know. I mean, sometimes I feel like I'm actually doing some of my best stuff now. Sean, I was about to say the same thing.

I was like a minute ago thinking, wow, this is the best I've ever heard Sean be, and I don't. And the stuff I'd done before was very good. It was great. But it takes what it takes to kind of find your voice, and I think having Hayes gone, whether he got arrested, whether he's back with his garbage family,

like whether he's been signed to an exam. Yeah. Here's my thing. Like, I'm not happy about what happened to Hayes. Oh, I'm upset. To be clear, I'm upset. But also a little relieved. It wasn't a good thing, and yet some people thrive in crisis,

and this really does seem to be bringing out the best in you. I've never seen you sharper, more focused, happier, frankly, healthier. It's sometimes you don't realize that a weight has been lifted until it has been lifted. Like you don't know that you're carrying it until it's gone. And having you here, Griffin, is also like, that's not a coincidence. Like that's a piece of it.

This feels really right. You are so on it right now. Oh, come on, Sean. You're so cool. You make it look easy. That means a lot coming from you. The shit that you've been saying for basically the last three or four minutes

of this episode. I really kind of feel like I hit my stride. Some of the best stuff I've ever heard, not you, heard anyone do on a microphone. That's too kind. That's too kind. And by the way, and I hate this shit. I would grow this in the garbage.

I hate this podcast, this stuff, actually dog shit. All of it. Yeah. Having everything. Yeah. I would grow this in the garbage. No, I'm... Yeah. Oh my God. I'll say it.

I don't care. Because I'm trying to make a real point. And if you do that... I'm sorry. I don't accept that as well. Because we all know you can be funny. I know. I know. We all know you can be hilarious. This is what I do.

This is a moment of earnestness. No, you actually don't always have to put on a show for funny. I know, I know. We all know you can be hilarious. This is what I do, this is a moment of earnestness. No, you actually don't always have to put on a show for me. I know, I know, I know. Probably David expects you to do that, right? Cause you're carrying a little bit of the load. He doesn't expect it, he demands it. Yeah, but honestly with me, like, I love it, it's amazing and dumb.

Yeah. Of course I know you can be funny. Yeah. What I have loved lately, and I'm talking the past three or four minutes, five minutes, especially since Hayes is gone. Yeah. What I have loved is seeing you like, not push.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You're letting the show come to you. Is it crazy to say that I feel like I'm pulling for the first time? Do you know what I'm saying? Like I'm not pushing myself to meet the show. I'm pulling the show to meet me.

And that feels natural. There's no strain. Well, you're pulling yourself up onto shore and you've evolved and you're about to fucking grow lungs and shed your gills. I don't feel like I'm carrying my own weight. It's not a struggle. Can you say something and I mean this?

Please. And this means a lot coming from me because I'm hitting my stride right now. Yeah, tell me. The last three or four minutes, when you've been talking about how well I've been doing, you have been glowing. It's lighting me up. I feel it inside.

And it's a feeling that I haven't had certainly while podcasting, certainly with another host for a long, long while. A long time. And it's like, it's like I can fucking breathe, man. It's like you can fuck and breathe. It's like I can finally fuck and breathe. Cause for a long time, it's been one or the other. Yep. And I thought that was the only way I was gonna be able to do it.

And this is the problem. How many pumps are you gonna be able to do it. And this is the problem. How many pumps are you gonna be able to get in if you have to hold your breath? People don't think about that because they're like, oh, it's impressive. You know, you're chiseling like this and you're pumping away. Yeah.

But after three or four pumps, you get lightheaded. Yeah, and you got it. And you're gonna have to pick. Right. It's coming out one way or another. Right, people always are saying fuck or breathe. And I'm like, how about fuck and breathe? Well, and I finally feel like I can do that now because it's just like, and I obviously like,

I hope he's okay. I hope he's alive. I, God, I hope nothing more than that. He is alive. I hope I, I want him actually to be feeling the way I am, which is really good. It would be good. Really good. Everyone, if he was feeling the way you're feeling right now,

it'd be good for him. It'd be pretty good for us. Yeah. It put us in an easier position. Not that we don't need it. We don easier position. And we don't need it. We don't need it. We don't need it. But it certainly, it wouldn't hurt.

When you were talking before, just a minute ago about having sex and holding your breath, I saw this sparkle in your eye that has been, being frank and said with that has been being Frank and said with love has been missing. You know what I mean? It's been a little thousand yard stare. It's been a little going through the motions.

And what I see now is you're in your body. You're very much in your body right now and you look very comfortable. And it's giving a new sort of timbre to your voice as well. Yeah. And I'm sure people listening are hearing it. I feel like I've heard you say that just now. There's a maturity.

Yes. Yes. Can I be honest? I insist. I, what you just said hurts, but it hurts the way passing a kidney stone hurts, where you go, God, am I glad that is out of my system. I never wanna go through that again. It's a necessary pain to get to the other side.

But now that that's behind me. Oh my God, and I can- I can finally fucking piss, man. I can fucking piss, and I can say this for the first time which is I've spent a fucking decade chained to this fucking desk talking about movies. Who gives a shit? I hate the damn things.

We tried to do this episode about movies. Who gives a shit? I hate them, I got nothing to say. They're fake, they're stupid. There are only two things I like doing, fucking and breathing. And for so long, I've been putting myself in a box and saying, pick one, you know,

because the movies and David and Hayes, like I don't have the time. But you actually can have it all. You actually can have it all. And you know what you need to do? Just give yourself permission. This has been so good. This has been incredible.

This has been so good, especially the last, what you just said and a couple of things right before it were so good for me. No, but some of the stuff you said, honestly, when I think about my favorite parts of this, a lot of it was the stuff that you said. I loved it too. And especially- I loved it too.

And that's not ego talking. The most recent thing is not- That's not, it's nothing. It's just like- It's not arrogance. I've loved it too. Some of what I've been saying, I've been going like, I've been hearing myself cook and going like,

God damn dude, where'd this guy come from? Where's he been? If that's for dinner, I'm ready to eat. Yeah. Yeah. Bye. Yeah. Whoa.

Hollywood handbook. That was a hate gum podcast. Hey, it's Nicole Byer here. Let me ask you something. Are you tired of endless swiping on dating apps? Fed up with awkward first dates and disappointing hookups? Girls, same.

Welcome to Why Won't You Date Me? The podcast where I figure out love and how to suck less at dating. Each week, I get real with comedians, friends, and celebrities about their love lives. We swap dating horror stories, awkward hookups, and dive into the messy and wonderful world of relationships.

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Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and catch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes drop every Friday. Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the So True podcast, now on HeadGum. Every week me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on.

I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge, whether it's one of my sworn enemies, like Brittany Broski or Drew Fualow or my actual biological mother Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth and if we find it great and if not, no worries.

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