Hollywood Handbook - Haley Joel Osment, Our New Business Partner

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

HALEY JOEL OSMENT joins The Boys in creating an exciting new business venture. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast blood pressure test huh dude i'm taking a blood pressure test i'm at right now i'm at the doctor no this is a story i'm telling a story i'm at the doctor and. And I know that, but you understand that context is everything, right, Hayes? Are you like tired or something? You sound very loud and tired. I was at this awesome event recently, and I haven't felt right since. It was in this beautiful sort of rose garden.

It was me and all the homies, and we were just dapping each other up, hugging and chilling, and it was like and all the homies and we were just dapping each other up hugging and chilling and it was like honestly really beautiful in this time where everyone sort of lost their minds a little bit and forgotten how much like what's really important which is just like close contact with the actual homies like the ride or die day ones um it was so cool to embrace that but anyway i don't know if i was allergic to the pollen from the rose garden or something yeah but i've i've felt a little bit off i feel awesome right now but it's been peaks and valleys for a few days well you should go i was just saying i was at the doctor's mall where uh it's the mall where every store is a different doctor uh and i went to the blood pressure test store and i'm getting the pressure test and they put it on the velcro and they it's on there and then it gets all it gets so fat

right yeah and they're like your blood like is your blood in there I'm like yeah I think so and they're like can you like check and I'm like I'm like yeah yeah you're like

you're like yeah I think it's in there right are you okay i mean just like i i really just as i said i feel fucking awesome right now but but just a few minutes ago it was quite the opposite and i feel like you're excited about the fact that you're feeling like that you're on the that i appear to be 100 better from the pollen attack and actually even better than i was 20 30 years ago so i think like that's you know the zone i'm in but you were saying right your blood is in there right you're not like uh dracula i actually i think we uh or he has blood or he loves it blood yeah he likes it yeah i i think this is i think we uh or he has blood has blood yeah he likes it yeah i i think this is i think we can ride off this energy and i am so excited to see because sometimes you can be like very

disconnected from what we're doing here i know sort of difficult to engage guilty and so the fact that you are so engaged right now, I do want to take advantage of that because we do have such an exciting episode today. We have an amazing guest. Is it louder today, the show? You are being very loud. Is the show loud for anyone else? The show is loud for me, but I don't really know why it would be loud for you

because you are the person who's being so loud. Perfect, perfect. Let's just go. Let's just go. Welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Back the Drafted Names and the Red Carpet Linebacker. Always in this industry we call showbiz. And it's Haley Joel Osment. We have Haley Joel Osment to do the show today.

And he is the actor and performing. And he does the... And he did all the... So many movies. Well, not to cut you off Hayes and it's on screen some of this what he's doing Haley you just seemed like you weren't going to say it

talk about this your life and work thanks for having me guys man yeah a life of work that's what I like to think of it as can you hear that are you knocking on a that i can't are you knocking on a coconut i can't see you i can i can just tell from the sound yeah yeah um yeah i've

had the privilege to perform in a variety of of mediums sounds uh vision um you know vision occasionally yeah visual performance visual performance, visual performance. It's definitely very, and Sean is doing a lot of, and it's like this, we're talking about visual. Sean is doing a lot of visual humor. He's holding up binoculars and he's knocking on the coconut. And it is so great to see him.

So excited and having so much fun doing the show. Cause it's often, it kind of sounds like the sound it makes the word does right yeah coconut yeah it's fun yeah this is a fake hayley you have uh this uh movie now i'm gonna take a break you're gonna go ahead do the show i'm just taking a quick break you're gonna are you to stay here or you're going to... Or are you going to leave? You're going to stay here and make noise.

You can hear that? Haley, talk about this movie. And this is soon, right? Very soon, yes. The movie is called The the devil has a name it'll be streaming on october 16th a friday no no no no no um yeah wow you're really breathing with your neck muscles that's that is a good sign what is um uh his name or it's her name could be as well. My character's name or?

No, the devil. The devil. Oh, well, that's for the viewer to discover. There's a number of candidates in the film. We have a very large cast. There's, I think, eight names above the title. Eight people in the cast. Just simply above the title on

the one sheet which is unusual very hard to frame when posting it on instagram when they do it in portrait mode so posting the one are you are you verified on there i am i am i don't even know how it happened kevin can i get verified on there i'll talk to some people yeah yeah because it pisses me off no disrespect to hailey but this cloud's fucking verified like i'm out here doing you know i'm working just as hard it seems right you needed to send me a photo of your driver's license and i think you responded nice try oh yeah well they keep changing them right yeah it's so crazy yeah that was the highlight of my summer i got the real id i went to a what turned out to be a much more crowded dmv than i was anticipating and was pretty on edge for the whole time uh kevin do you know where the movie is streaming yes apple prime video voodoo fandango now google

play xfinity comcast and spectrum you said voodoo right voodoo you do voodoo next to me that's my dog that's my shit man voodoo man i'm a big bad voodoo daddy, man. That's all I watch. I got rid of the other apps because if it ain't on voodoo, I don't want to see it. No, voodoo rocks, man. So what's up? Are we going to talk about business? Yeah. So today we do a lot of entertainment industry stuff on this show. But today we are very focused on business development which i know hayley is

something that is like very important to you huge uh and that uh your work in entertainment is kind of a a side project that you use to promote various entrepreneurship uh strategies and initiatives that you have done over the course of your career do you want to just talk about some of the businesses uh that you have developed uh and sort of like sent off out into the world and then onto them sure fire them out machine gun fire give us the businesses you know uh i've i've been uh hawking tomatoes for it for a couple years now. Tomatoes? Yeah, tomato husbandry has been pretty big in my life. I went to the Tomato Mania Seedling Festival at Descanso Gardens two years ago,

and that really just opened a lot of doors for me in what I could grow. Descanso, what does that mean? I think the verb is descansar, which I believe means to relax. So relaxing gardens. It means I relax. I hope that's which I believe means to relax. So relaxing gardens. I hope that's it. It means I relax gardens. Yeah, I relax gardens.

And boy, do you. So the tomato. And you did some networking at a tomato event. Right. That introduced me into the hot pepper community, which introduced me to the neem oil community, which is an organic pesticide that you can use to stop the various fungi uh aphids even ants and some spiders uh that get into your your your garden box have you had ghost peppers yes yes homer simpson went insane when he tried one

was that on the simpsons i didn't see that it was too hot for him that's that is too hot it is too hot i i prefer the carolina reaper which uh has big scary spiky black leaves and looks as spicy as it ends up tasting that's yeah that's good not not tricking you now yeah you don't want to be tricked yeah yeah like a habanero can look so innocent you know it can be like a nice it looks like a sweet habanero, but pop it in your mouth and you're going to be suffering for the rest of the day. See ya. Rest in peace.

Exactly. Haley, so let's talk about sort of what we're partnering on today. Sean and I came to you with a proposal. You were- We're passionate about business too. We have recently come in contact with this man who has just developed the most amazing technology for entrepreneurs and business leaders. And his technology, it applies to every aspect of your life. I mean, it's specifically great for business leaders, but it really puts you in touch with

yourself. And when you're at cause, the power that you have over your environment and the people around you and your ability to really be at peak performance level at all times is so amazing. And I am the first to admit, I thought the sashes were silly at first. I was not in favor of wearing the sashes. I thought they were silly. I did. But to have a visual representation that says, hey, I've achieved this. You know, I've done this.

And so, you know, we've become passionate about business and we want to employ this tech, this astounding tech. Can you help us? We've got this oil and I hesitate to call it olive oil in this meeting, but that will be what

the bottle says i see we want to sell it at the farmer's market right we had tried this that like uh like the experience of olive oil had sort of come into our life uh and we tried this stuff and we were like so fascinated by it it is it's wet but not really no it's this stuff is nuts and it's not wet exactly but it's getting on you but it's getting on it is definitely getting on you okay it doesn't like taste it's not like food it doesn't like you will need this and be like this is food but it's also not like um it's not like poison you wouldn't say that it's plastic or something you wouldn't eat it and say i have you wouldn't say that if you know would you could not just feeling it but if you actually put

it in your mouth you would still be able to say, this is not plastic. It's not a drink, but it's not food. Does it come in a bottle? How are you packaging this? We can talk about that. That's one of the things we wanted to talk about. That would actually be huge for us right now. It is loose.

But like bottle strategy is something that we are kind of looking at with you. But you put that tomato in there? Well, let me toss something your way because I have often, you know, meditated on the expense of shipping. All right. Good luck. The expense of shipping things in glass bottles, this, you know, in the wine industry, as they say, you're not shipping the wine, you're shipping the glass because of how heavy it is.

So I was thinking aluminum cans, which, you know, you see things proffered in that. You know, I think certain summer wines have done that. But if you had an aluminum bottle to distribute things in, I think that could be hot. That could be trendy. distribute things in i think that could be hot that could be trendy people it would you know they'd display them on shelves after they'd empty the bottle if that's how this substance comes out of it i'm not sure if it evaporates or if it's if it has physical form hailey what if i told you back from break what if i told you there's nothing in california state law that actually specifies how much olive has to be in the oil i would i would say sean tell me more if you have what we're finding is if you have oil which we do the gobs

of it it's oil and it's and you have okay and it. Okay. Yes. And olive. For sure. If we were to get one of these, I think you called them cans. If we were to put one olive and some oil, that's olive oil as far as Uncle Sam is concerned. Okay. And it doesn't matter where or who the rest of the oil comes from. So that's one. We need a face on this thing due to the results of a recent class action suit. The face cannot be mine or Hayes' or even Kevin's, believe it or not, because of some things that happened with our previous olive oil company. I would love to volunteer my own face, but looking at the four of us

in the same screen right now, I do have to say we look kind of like those guys that just got arrested in Michigan, somewhat indistinguishable if you're squinting at the screen. We all kind of have similar length hair, somewhat similar facial hair. I think we may have to get a more drastically different face to avoid this class action lawsuit. But our faces will be nowhere near this, Haley. And what's really exciting, I think, for you is actually my name is not going to be anywhere near any aspect of this company other than the bank account, which won't be directly even associated with it. All right. It will be you. You'll be the

CEO. You'll be the face on the bottle. I mean, you're going, it's your show, man. Can I have some sort of bononym though that's cooler than CEO? Haley Joel Alv. Haley Joel Alv. Haley Joel Alv. Haley Joel Alv. Haley Joel Alv. Haley Joel Alv.

That's good. That's good that's good i like that hey and also like if people come up to you because you're going to be manning the booth obviously yeah people come up to you at the farmer's market and are like hey are you that person that uh tried to kidnap that woman uh you can be like just honestly like take a second to kind of read their like from where they are asking that question you know and so if they're like pissed about you doing that you'd be like no obviously no i'm haley joel olives but if they're like that was kind of cool then yeah if they seem to be like hey are you the guy that like don't i wouldn't say yeah that's me yeah but i would but i would be willing to leave it in a gray area where... Yeah, just be like, no, me.

Yeah, little old me. Kidnap that bad old senator. Couldn't be. So, I mean, that's probably the safest bet. I think this is good. Yeah, it rocks. I'm so fascinated by the aluminum bottle. Does it have a a like a

top a pop top does it have a sport top it does have a sport well that depends i still need to get sort of the physical properties of this like it's it's oily it sounded early on like its lack of wetness sounded like you could almost have a shaker top on it. You're mischaracterizing it. The salt that you put on the popcorn. You're mischaracterizing it. Okay. That's not what we said. We did say there was a lack of wetness. You're going to get wet. It's getting on you.

It's getting on you. It's getting on you. Yeah. All right. And it's not that it's... There's not a lack of wetness, but it's certainly not that it's so wet. It's not a drink.

But I'd love to have a sport top on there. Sport top. I like that. Right now, it's on the floor. But that... But the floor is huge, Haley. Good. The floor is huge, but not like...

I don't think it's big enough to have the farmer's market there. Well, I don't know. It's too big for a farmer's market stall? Well, no. I'm saying the floor where the olive oil is now, I'm wondering if it's just easier to say that's where the farmer's market is. Oh, yeah.

And then maybe we sell out space to a couple other booths around there. Absolutely. It's certainly better for me. Just the commute is going to murder me if we do it anywhere else. Oh, what part of town is it? Oh, I guess, yeah. It will murder because for him to move around too much right now, he would slip on the oil.

Okay. Yeah. All right. I tried putting some area rugs down, but they're not getting rid of the oil. If anything, they've made the oil sort of more unpredictable. Interesting. Haley, I'm fascinated by your knowledge about the wine industry,

and it has made me realize that I misunderstood that earlier you are producing and selling tomato wine. Can you talk about the taste of this product uh and it's possibly psychedelic effects oh sure yeah i mean uh there there's there's so many uh tomato varietals uh you know available to to the average person but you really need to know how to combine a bunch of different tomatoes it kind of like how blend the ayahuasca plant has the vine and then the seed, and then you have to be able to mix it. Oh, this guy's tripping balls right now, man. He's tripping his face off the ayahuasca plant. You hear how he said it? Not your first rodeo, huh, Papa Bear? Hey, I am a businessman. I am a businessman. I gotta know how things are pronounced.

But it's the same with tomatoes basically. And so this wine as opposed to a product that's gonna get on you, this will not get on you. It is extremely viscous. Wow. We should probably say that ours won't get on you either.

But it will. Jingle idea. Jingle idea. Jingle idea. And I don't know if you can get the rights to this. All right. Yeah. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time. We can dance and party all night.

Cherry tomato wine. Oh, I like that. I like that i like that thank you or ketchup wine ketchup wine i mean that's and drink some ketchup wine oh yeah but it could be kind of like you know those those labels that have like a joke like fat bastard wine or irony wine this can we get oh my god it's it could be franchised it off of the joke that uma thurman tells in pulp fiction when the the father tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says catch up catch up we could somehow get all that onto the label the bride the bride yeah slicing a giant tomato in half with a katana i think we're moving away from fat bastard i was excited by the fat

bastard that's a real wine i think we all really responded to that yeah yeah so if because if the wine i mean really what you're saying when you open a bottle of wine is get in my belly yes yes so we have we have a lot of stuff already built out we have our brand ambassador hayley joel olives we have the location of the farmer's market which is near the floor where the oil is right now we have uh the bottle is made of aluminum and it has a sport top uh well the one thing i worry about that is aluminum bottle sport top so it's a squeezable but if it's aluminum it will essentially crumple the bottle so i guess you just have to like take it all the way down when you first squeeze it yeah but that's good for us because people aren't leaving this thing on our shelf forever

you know what they're doing is finishing it it's a really a one a single serving product and yeah what are you putting it on i have you had any sort of tie-ins the floor the floor yeah currently on the floor it goes but it's gotten on my clothes as well what but what do like other people put it on you're saying like they buy it like what is it like what are they yeah what what what what you know uh okay yeah like let me like like like let me get into this it can be fruit sauce it can be you can like pour it on a bowl of fruit as like a sauce you could take uh like some bananas apples grapes you pour it all over that in like a sort of a sauce format or it's a dressing you know for like a chopped fruit chili of some kind and you if you wanted to like throw a pear in a pot with like some stone

fruit and it's and you and if it was dry especially and you needed to sauce it this product could be a lifesaver in that kind of scenario could you fill up a muffin tin put it in the refrigerator and then have you know like jellied olives in it you drop like one black olive into each muffin olives thing oh right right right yeah one thing for me is like in terms of putting a single olive in the can of oil these guys aren't going to check every single damn can, right? We might not need to shell out all the initial capital. I mean, if we're doing well, sure, fine. We'll get more olives.

But at present, we don't really have the olives to cover that kind of distribution. I see. Well, you just order one pizza and then distribute those olives into the aluminum bottles. Olives on pizza? Sick! Ew! Cheese pizza only. Cheese pizza only. And often they're just shaking it. They can't really see, especially if it's aluminum.

So you can just put something else in there that makes kind of an olive noise. Yeah. Well, I thought it could be you know it's like a fun uh you know how certain uh prepared lunch things the fun is you know releasing the different ingredients you know opening up the package of pepperonis in the lunchables or something we it could be a fun thing where the olive is in school supplies yeah or you could like rip it's in a like giant like pill case you know and you get to crack it open and it has some sort of reaction in the substance the dropping of the olive sort of activates the bottle ayahuasca man's got a lot of pill cases around gotta have two different ingredients to get the effects you have to it can't just be one mr ayahuasca's got some pill cases around what are you popping man what are

you popping these days i keep my like this is actually great because like sean has this like very cavalier attitude about this that like i think is a response to being very scary to him well i can swallow them so it's so that's not the issue. They're not going to get caught in my throat. Why would I be scared to take a little Incy Bitsy pill? You don't even need water, right? My mouth is wet enough that I could swallow it. Yeah.

Please. Yeah. My tongue won't absorb the water instantly and stop it from getting in my throat. Would you just stop it with all that so i think every time i pop one of those trader joe's grassy men's health vitamins into my mouth and try and swallow it without water just how easy it is how smoothly it goes down that sounds not scary to me he ends up sean ends up kind of like like crunching it right away you have to kind of hold his mouth open and just like get it straight to the back like behind we've talked about his like teeth situation a lot but um he just will kind of go into this um almost primordial like animal crunch mode anytime something passes like the um the the lip barrier

it's an instant bite response yeah yeah exactly yes yeah so i am crashing obviously i started this podcast on a wicked high there was no way to maintain it we're about 26 minutes in and i am pretty much done i know i've had to take a break here and there and i really encourage you guys to do the show but i i just want to be fully honest about where i'm at i do not feel good right now and so i'm probably not gonna be like engaging it's only in comparison to the early part of the show that i think that will be like noticeable now we are sort of entering into more like the normal show right where you are in and out and kind of like doing other stuff uh and that's you know that's okay and i think for listeners they'll be like more accustomed to that that's fine you're you do seem to be getting wetter your hair is

nothing is really like happening over there but your hair is now very wet yeah it's gotten soaked and it's and it's not just my hair like the way i'm framed it's my head but everything below the neck as well has gotten really very soaked. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get,

people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language? Yes. Babbel now has

visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babbles designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah.

But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. And I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger? Because it looks like an emergency. I know I was supposed to do something. Or how about those people that stand in the street? They're kind of like, they've got almost like police clothes on. It may be police. Almost, yeah.

And they're standing in the middle, and as I'm driving and I'm cruising, they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost. And they're really aggressively pushing it out. And I'm like, am I supposed to drive out of the car or just do it out the window as I'm going? That's what I've been doing. Dangerous. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners. I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real-life situations,

which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others, can't feel good to be others there, continue to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college.

Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee. Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babbel.com slash the boys. Get 55% off at Babbel.com slash the boys spelled B-A-B-E-L.com slash the boys. B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash the boys. Rules and restrictions may apply.

With Babbel, we can't promise it'll always be easy, but you'll always be glad you did it. Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal is chef-crafted, dietitian approved ready to go in just two minutes speaking of ready to go in just two minutes chef kevin is here

with his new show the chef kevin factor where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal yeah it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more

than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the at the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed yeah your bed plus one that's the opposite of what this is supposed to do it's supposed to help you stay a lot of these i know give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two,

me walking in my bedroom. What's the second? It's you in your bed? The bed. I got clippy. Fuel up fast with Factors Restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are.

Pancakes, smoothies, and more. Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day, like breakfast, midday bites, and more. No, we didn't even... this is not even up for consideration. So let's just hear what the actual meal was. What was the food? I don't want to go to bed.

It's very simple. It's one huge chicken nugget. Sign up and save. We've done the math. Factor is less expensive than takeout. Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com slash theboys50 to get 50% off.

Hey, guys. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. you can see all your subscriptions in one place and if i see something i don't want i can cancel it with a tap i never have to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think also got an end point by like dress 14 15

i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 dollars a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be

fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the dresses. Well, yeah. I mean, you're talking about Hollywood memorabilia. You're talking about ornate gowns in some cases. And so that was costing me a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys

we should we have to talk about the booth um we're not gonna do this like the booth babes and like this like crass thing that like the other olive oil companies do uh where they're like set where it's like what they're really selling is sex right yeah but we want it we classy classy design we do want it to drive around we want it to have not weapons but like some kind of talk about the saw blade yeah so like a defense system with like a very uh quickly chopping saw that comes out to chop uh like a competing product could chop the fruit that we use the uh oil as a sauce on talk about the fangs the booth has fangs we know that for sure the question is where the things go to make it look like a crazy like like monster you know like we put them too high up at first and then it's like

where's the the the actual mouth part if the things are like way up like so this is what we need your help with as a husbandry person if you could husbandry our booth yeah to have it be um uh the nice booth. That would be so freaking cool. It depends on what are we trying to give the impression that we are inside the mouth of. Like, what's... Is this the fangs?

It could be my head. I could get my teeth sharpened. It's Haley Joel's head, and that's exactly... Thank you so much. I'm inside my own head. So we didn't want to ask for that. You are inside your own head so we didn't want to ask for that yeah you are inside your head you ate yourself and you also ate all the hayley joel olives olive oil you're saying hey come say hey i'm gonna eat you and you come eat me as well and then and if you don't want to a saw is going to shoot out of my ear take your freaking legs off

so think about that you know so it's really i think it could be great for everyone because your brand will be much more fearsome than it ever has been and it also like just like in terms of strategically getting people's attention at the farmer's market the booth is mobile it does drive it as a car yeah so you can be like as people are at other booths you can drive right up to them and even kind of nudge them away from the purchase that they are making oops sorry having trouble reading this map yeah you know and the booth has to be it has to be very alpha this booth has to be so alpha we cannot let the other booths push us around.

It's like all anyone is going to respond to is if we absolutely alpha the moment. I'm thinking going against traffic at the Rose Bowl, just plowing through bikers and everyone. Boom. I knew you were the man for this job. Exactly. Yes, Haley. Yep.

I think this will do it. And I think there's either a swap meter a farmer's market there but after a couple laps you know we've been getting attention you know there's there's screams of excitement going on across the rumble and i just plow right into that parking lot hacking all of the other stands down and we're open for business that's alpha that's alpha shit and then it's okay that our stuff is on the floor because everything's on the floor exactly yeah people will start to see the logic of keeping your stuff at ankle level yeah uh okay our booth rocks it's that it's honestly the most alpha shit i've ever heard of uh we so we have that now the question is so we have this bank

account set up uh that sean that is like is not actually connected directly to basically what we have to do is figure out how to like take all this cash and convert it into gobs of it. Yeah. So much stinky cash, man. Take the cash... Pile of bills. And get it to the bank, basically. How do you do that? Is the cash stored in the same place as the oil? Yeah, it's on the fork.

It's on the fork. All right. Yeah. Which is good in a way because the oil holds it still. the fork it's on the floor all right yeah which is good in a way because the oil holds it still like if you're concerned about the wind or even just a strong fan which we do have a lot of fans in that room yeah if you're concerned about a fan blowing the cash around it's not going to come up because the oil is is holding on to it pretty good that's good okay so these are paper bills.

There's more bills than coins. I hope so. Because we could do a, you know, it's easiest to do a CoinStar situation right now because most of the world, unfortunately, is going cashless at the moment. So coins, I feel like, are a little bit more doable. Well, I've been thinking of getting into coins

just as like an investment. Sure. And just like getting all the coins I can get my grubby little mitts on yeah that's some hundred dollar dollar coin that that shows on late night tv i've got a couple of those sooner or later the weight of your money has to factor in in some way and if i got a bunch of metal right and all you got is a little piece of paper what's more alpha between those two kinds of money the heavier one really look at that so i agree with you hailey i've also been thinking of becoming like a um sort of like a feat bad guy named mr pennies who melts my pennies into bullets either bullets or like a um a chopping like something really sharp or like a blow dart essentially and i wear a suit and i wear a hat

sort of like tilted to the side on my head uh and like i'm mr pennies and i'm like killing people uh yeah well i mean and likewise i i am currently trying to form myself into dime tron the evil dime plated robot who you know will kind of march to the city it's a giant mech suit basically made entirely of dimes and it and it fires dime missiles uh you know out of my um big uh you know rocket fists so i mean i would be willing to work with mr pennies as well you could unleash me on certain areas of the city as you know if you're sort of sure in your lair pretty alpha i. I did in an upcoming project that I haven't announced yet, I am playing a supervillain called Susan Beast Anthony,

who is a hexagonal sort of flying disc object who is anti-abortion. It's one of the biggest challenges that I've ever, you know, I'm doing a lot of research right now. Wow. But she's on some of those

half dollars so that's actually really really sick yeah so you could be a part of our crew in a big way we're three-fourths the way to a mount rushmore of coin centric super villains kevin you got anything at all anything kevin the chucky cheese coins tokens the the arcade tokens i have an unrelated pitch can i be chief big daddy officer of the uh oh yeah we do all need um like fun executive names um like freaking like ninja cowboy in uh chief and uh badass at large uh kevin yours is um i guess piss just piss officer me if it's Kevin.

Piss officer. Okay. I think your title is just piss. We have our names. We have the coin supervillains that we're going to make. We have the bottle design. We have our brand ambassador. We have the bottle design. We have our brand ambassador. We have the shape and mobility of the booth.

We have the recipe for the oil. We have... Oh, distribution. That's a big one. How do you get it in the store without them seeing? Yes. And probably not during operating hours well they they have how do you do this with like a tomato how do you put a tomato in there well everything tomato there's everything

goes pretty fast through those pneumatic tubes that they have in the big box stores i think we find a way to hook into those reverse the flow and just yeah just you know instead of money coming up in the little cylinder it's our product shooting through onto the shelves and can you promise i won't get stuck in the tube i can promise you that that's my promise i'll hold you to that sir yeah as as chief officer yeah chief officer. Yeah. Chief officer. Chief officer. Chief financial barbarian. Yeah.

That's so sick. Epic wind sauce organizer. So, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick. And who's doing that? Who's doing that? What? The loud? that what the loud yeah the loud that's okay shots friends well i joined a motorcycle gang on a trial basis i'm sort of pledging right now and they're going to tell me if i get my own motorcycle at the end of some of the hazing but part of it is that you have to get used to the fumes so they do kind of set up directly outside my window and i have to kind of keep all the windows open and they kind of just blast their

motorcycle like muffler fumes right in my face do you have any like do you have like extra tomatoes or and stuff that we could like put in this that we don't have honestly we don't have that much oil and so it would really be helpful if we had just other stuff to put in there to make it heavy the ball yeah oh and i i froze the uh tomato sauces that i didn't use uh you know that i didn't use this summer uh it's it's seems particularly heavy when it's a solid block of red ice. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if you're supposed to do that. I think the spaghetti is actually supposed to be hot. No, but what you do is you put them in like ice cube trays when it's still liquid. And then throughout the winter, you can pop open a little ice cube size thing of pasta and tomato sauce.

Dump it in the pan. For a bloody? For a bloody. Yeah. A little Italian bloody. Noodle bloody For a bloody, yeah. A little Italian bloody. Nice bloody, buddy. Right? Okay, that's interesting.

A bloody Mario. I don't even like thinking about that. Mario being hurt like that. I don't like thinking about that. I mean, I'm done with this company i finished it i'm done as well and i'm actually sick of it and i'm moving on the the greatest thing you can do as an entrepreneur is fail and because it teaches you lessons there's no greater teacher vanguard

talks about this that pain is such an essential part of learning and that the pain of failure is actually one of the most rewarding gifts you can give yourself. And so obviously the Haley Joel company has been dissolved. We're distributing the assets amongst ourselves and it's been quite a wild ride. And you guys are my brothers. You're my fucking family. I lay down in traffic for you guys. I'd get in front of a train, even though I do ads that tell you exactly the opposite.

Um, but I would, I would do it for you guys. Uh, this, there's this, I went to war with you and we came back bloodied and beaten but we survived and the enemy's running scared the enemy's on the ropes the enemy is um being the devil broke and the devil talk about the devil movie oh the devil yeah well again massive cast um it's too much a of names. A lot of names. Eight people. So you've gone and wrangled one of them. Yeah.

And then you come back and the other one walked away. We're ready to shoot. We got one. Oh, now the other one's gone. It's like Red Rover. You join hands with the cast members you're closest with, and you just kind of force your way through different crowds until you accumulate enough people in a long chain. And so you've got that bond.

That's what the preparation usually is. That's too much. But for most people it is, but not for us. And it's about an oil company. Was there a script, or did you wing it? Oh, there was a script, yeah. Good script, yeah. Based on true events, too, which means you you have to you know

you got to have those words on the page who plays the who's the devil uh man the devil's in all of us that's the point of the movie and the devil is also radiation that poisons the groundwater in the central valley in california sort of related to our produce company, if that's what it is or was. And yeah, we went up. You got to get over it, man. Yeah. It's hard to let go of. We've been talking about this company.

It's hard to let go of. We moved on. I gave sort of a beautiful eulogy for the time that we spent together doing that company. And I'm done. And it's making me worried about you that you can't let it go well i just wanted to drive around in the booth for a little bit i mean i can even if the company doesn't you can still use i can still drive around in the booth right yeah all right good i put a big ass engine on there too for you nice nice how many v's eight v's it's va well it's like tomato juice so exactly exactly yeah full

of nutrients and horsepower and it is it is just uh you know we still have the memories but that's what they are they're just memories uh and it is time to move on and look forward and uh yeah we sure we had a hell of a time and uh we almost uh kicked each other's asses in along the way but you know we had some big fights and it was actually we're better friends for it we're closer we emerged stronger got into some shit man and there was definitely some some dick measuring contests along the way and and some some of this stuff that happens when you get a group of alpha bros together like this and you try to make a company that actually kicks ass

and makes a difference in a lot of people's lives yeah and is bringing something that the community needs and is giving back in a huge way and is like rick ross baller status like just like puffing the kush like dropping ayahuasca right pill cases right hailey all that stuff man yeah snuff boxes everything yeah and the movies for halloween the it is a halloween movie uh you know since the devil does appear in it um there's i believe the appearance of some pumpkins kind of like you can see david s right now david s pumpkins we didn't get him we tried and it uh you know we it was one of those times where you start shooting and a certain actor has promised you that he is going to take the role

and then he backs out in the middle and we have to get really really creative oh well let me replace him with seven more people instead yeah Yeah, we went for quantity. Yeah. Let me tell you, let me see if this conversation sounds familiar. Oh, we don't have David S. Pumpkins, but we can get you Kevin Roberts from the similar sketch that Larry David did first. It's like, no, I don't want Kevin Roberts. Wow. That's what we said, too.

Yeah. kevin roberts wow that's what we said too yeah yeah that those are those are tough times but you know kind of like us getting in our business fights it makes you stronger as a cast you know when you go through that when you go through that that experience together yeah um you gotta go i thought you were wrapping up sorry oh yeah it sounded like that's the opposite of what you're supposed to do oh man were you headed out ah shit dude ah damn ah i would have loved to no but you said you're taking off huh with scott ackerman scott i uh i i've been texting him uh about that talking heads show that he is uh that he has been doing because because it gave me i've been alone in my house a lot this year, listening to records. How's he on text?

I bet he's good. He has a great, what do you call it? GIF game. The face you use for yourself. His GIF game's strong. His GIF game is, yeah. Very, oh yeah, prolific GIF user. It's just, it's a lot of GIFs back and forth between us, yeah. Do you want to do the show?

The Talking Heads show? I already did the REM show and I think I was definitely punching above my weight with relevance to REM, but that was enough to me because now he's having on guests that, for example, were in Talking Heads, which is a little bit closer to the topic than I am.

I think this would actually be a really good next venture for us and just like thinking about like i just cannot help but coming up with these new business ideas possibly a business idea when you book yourself on one of scott's shows and then don't show up and we do it instead i i think i can i can arrange that yeah oh my god are we getting the band back together god hayley joel olives the we ride again jesus man it feels weird to be back here with my boys and i swore it'd be somebody check the weather report in hell i think it might be calling for some flurries at least as i said i'd never do this again has this been a tough a tough couple years for you, having a competing boys show?

Has that made... Oh, sorry, I didn't... I didn't know. That's the least of it. Yeah. Yeah, we had Jack Quaid on recently. Oh, nice. We sort of got into it, and did end up beating kevin's ass

nice uh in that episode yeah it was actually some of the most dominant alpha shit so yeah i would say absolutely it has been really tough not because of that at all yeah tough couple of years yeah the show has been one of the lone bright spots for us loved seeing you on it not this not this show the show the show the boys the show the boys amazon has been up yeah something of a yes yes respite yeah from everything else um i'm glad no me too i just told you i was i liked it so uh were you saying you had to leave or what happened with that hayley hayley yes cheeseburger choice go in and out okay in and out give me your full order how many bugs? How many bugs? How many buns?

Buns. Buns. Bun number. Go. One half of the bun, animal style burger, animal style milkshake, animal style Coke, animal style chopped chilies. So a lot. And the tomato man must be putting some of his,

are you bringing your own no you know to put on it uh uh you hand it and you give them the tomato at the first window and then at the second window they cut they give it back to you and that is the secret menu if you bring your own produce they will process it and you can follow it like the car wash except you're in the car and they're inside doing work on your tomatoes you're also in the car wash you're also in the car at the car wash some of them hey it's in and out there's not really an except yeah uh okay i i love you uh love you uh i love you thank you for doing this I love you. I'm in love with you as well. Kevin,

this has been so awesome. I love you. I'm in love with you. To be here with my family, with my fucking family on this incredible day. What's the date today? The 10th. 10-10. Regardless.

10-10. Make a wish. I give this experience a 10 regardless 10 10 10 make a wish and i give this and i give this experience a 10 out of 10 and 10 10 20 so this is a one of those math equation days wow you guys are my ride or die day ones bye. I love you. Hollywood Hamburg. That was a HeadGum Podcast.