Hollywood Handbook - Hannah Pilkes, Our Returning Friend
Episode Date: August 12, 2025The Boys try their best to help HANNAH PILKES promote her new Netflix show, Leanne.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a... Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a headgum podcast.
So today we just felt like we would just like listen to the song.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah.
Sometimes we talk, but sometimes we talk, but sometimes you just
don't need to like somebody worked pretty hard on the song and yeah more than one person actually
i'd love to go non-verb today and just kind of focus on you've been doing a lot of talking and
i don't say that like with any judgment at all right yeah and i have judgment i have judgment
it's not a compliment either right but it's a completely neutral statement if i may if you have
to lead with i don't say this with any judgment at all inherently there's a whole there's a whole bolt load
of it.
I literally just said there was no...
Who's this boat load character?
I felt really...
Who's the boatload character?
Okay, you know what?
You're a tugboat.
You're Captain Steve.
But who are you...
Are you...
You sound like a harbor master.
A nightmare poop cruise.
Tugboat.
Poope cruise.
This guy gets to be Captain Steve.
I'd love to go back to the listening, to just the song of listening.
A nice hat.
this type of
pub boat
exactly this type of
thing
you also were
just here
I feel like
it's so weird
to be back
fucking tugboat
so what have we
been doing
let me
that's an insult
when are we
going to start
the song
because I
parked in five minutes
the song
the song
the song
played
and yet
here we are
verbal
the song came
and went
what have we
just like it
your last episode, just like your last episode did.
Help yourself.
Right?
Hannah Pilks.
Pilkis, but by all means, keep it like that.
What have we been up to since last time?
I've just kind of been farting around.
You know what is interesting?
Yeah.
You always have something going on in your throat.
You've been using an inhaler nonstop.
I got this.
You're making all these noise.
You're clearing your throat.
And your last name, Pilkis, does sound like something stuck.
in your throat.
Right?
Spilkings.
Yeah, right.
And when you drink milks.
Spilkis, yeah.
I'm always drinking milks.
When you drink milks?
I'm drinking up those notes.
It gets you a little grogular back.
Can I say the way you use your inhaler?
Sure.
Feels very
unmedical.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's like a vape.
You just do kind of like a, ah, one more.
I don't know what you mean.
One more hit.
I mean, I have it like 30 at the last hour.
get one last blast hold me over
420 somewhere
you kind of seem like you're
like you're quitting and this is
your last one is the last day everyone
this is your absolute
I gotta knock this stuff off these things will kill me
well I'll tell you I'll say son son
I was recently in Europe
uh huh okay and I smoked a couple
siggies
can't be doing that when you're asthmatic
I've been wheezy Jones yeah
and so you learned that their ambulance
sounds different
you have no what you have to do
oh you have to have titties
and when you're calling the ambulance
you have to have tities
I don't even want to I'm I don't have two minutes
I don't have to do anything
although nicknaming me tugboat
sort of implies that you do think I have titties
what the tugboat thing
talk boat barbecue sauce
tugboat classic
and when you're calling the ambulance that sounds
different too it just goes beep
beep
and they know it of
instead of ringing ringing yeah you know
that sounds like like what's app ringing or
you've been farting what else have you been doing
I've been I've been hanging around
I've been I've been charging up my car
okay I've been
I've been car charging
plugged into like
I'm just plugging it in where I go into a fire hydrant
oh yeah oh I'm yeah I'm not you know I'm
just plugging it into Ralph's smart
finals. That's where all, I get
all my fresh produce, smart and final.
Fire hydrant. I've been
okay. What else I've been
doing? I've been
married. Okay.
That's awesome. I've been.
That rocks.
What's the, uh, I've been
tell me about the spouse.
I've been drinking the milk from my Airbnb
beer. Tell me about the spouse.
Short King.
Good, good chats.
If I'm him listening on
yeah well well sorry what's that it's just like oh yes putting myself in the mind of him
yeah i like to imagine being him and him going oh this is how we lead with total king let's get this
out of the way first you could call him if you want he said no ring him up he doesn't want
bring him up bring him up bring him up bring him up we're about to go with the house with my girl
so you really it's every culture with you it's everything a very eclectic background because there was a very
sort of country thing that happened at first right and then it went a Nordic with the whole boatload
and then we went and you Nordic well then we were we had some Yiddish for a moment spilkes yeah and then
and then now we've we've gotten into this sort of urban hip-hop flavor right I feel like
you have gotten lost a little bit in between since you were here last and now.
You had a clear identity, yeah.
I have taken you the liberty of drawing you a map.
I think that's what you need.
I don't know my wist from Swiss.
I think you need the map.
Yeah, this is going to actually, this is going to do you a huge service.
This kind of diagram.
This is a diagram.
Show the camera and actually.
Don't smear your fingers all over it.
Yeah, let it linger for a moment so people can see.
It's a diagram.
So people have also been saying.
Fresh.
That Hannah couldn't tell her ass from her elbow if she had a map.
How many?
Say three or six.
I always defend you and say, if she had a map, she could do it.
Yeah.
No one has given her a map.
If she had a map, she could.
It's clear that she doesn't have a map.
And she can't tell them apart.
Elbow.
Wow.
Yeah.
She got it right on the first try
As soon as she had the map
So
Okay
Okay
Can I ask why the ass is sheep like that?
You're going to have to ask
You're going to have to ask.
You're going to have to ask
The creator
Who's the creator?
I think everyone kind of gets to decide for themselves
This is a really interesting question
For me it's Jeffrey Bezos
Bees?
Jeffrey Beesnes.
Who is the creator on Leanne?
Chuck L'O'Roy.
That's the creator.
Cut that, he wouldn't want me to say that.
That's the man upstairs, right?
So that was too far.
I could see you get really scared.
You said good old Chuckie Chuck and you could hear.
Oh, he would sooner kill me.
Chuckle.
Chuckle.
Chuckles.
He makes you chuckle.
His name is Chuck Lorry.
You know, he's a funny guy.
definitely
yeah he's made some of the most
famous popular comedies in history
like you know things really
we know a funny guy did all that
I'll name you three other funny guys
Beethoven the dog
yeah Clifford
also a large dog
yeah Arthur's a dog as well
and yeah and tortoise
clearly
Clifford you 100%
think Arthur is a dog
we know Arthur's a dog
well we know for
sure is you see Arthur
and say that is
dog you're locked on dog
for that one final answer
Clifford
Clifford we got already
and
Chuck
didn't care for you
huh
I want to say sorry it turns out I'm sweating
oh you know what
well future it'll do that I'll tell
and I could see that emerge
during the elbow identification
You saw that I clock what was happening?
Well, I didn't know pit stains could go down to your hips, but they can.
I think they may have accidentally given you unwell, Butrid.
That's what I'm talking about.
You've been great flappers.
Oh, let me call them.
Arrest me because I'm been bad.
You seem to think that the audience says, you've been great.
And it does make sense that the audience should be the ones that say, you've been great.
What am I going to do?
I'm sorry, flapper.
The audience is just sitting there.
Like, you know.
Great flappers.
Sometimes they're on.
I had a great experience here as the audience.
Yeah, they should be talking to the stage, I guess, and saying, you've been great.
You've really helped me tonight.
Just forget my troubles for even a moment.
I've never had anyone.
So, like, the hat, the way you put it on, had the tag come out in a way that I.
Oh, which is.
that I've never seen
and I worry about it being
a bad advertisement for the hat.
All right, well, how about this?
How about this?
So for the people just listening,
after she said, how about this?
What do you think about this?
She turned...
Oh, no.
She turned the hat fully sideways,
stuck her tongue out and acted like she was
in a hangman's noose.
And now she's leaning over the back of the couch
wrestling with something
she's actually completely out of her mind
and I don't know what she was doing
right before this episode started
pre-gated
she just hit it again
alright I can't get the hat
okay
okay
cut edit out the pits
edit that out
change my shirt
make a clipper mood
no we don't have the ability
to edit anything
let's get the toad out
let's make it a twadis
puttis
you know I enjoy a little silliness as much as anyone
I'm one of the silliest guys I know
I love to cut loose and have a couple goofs
but we need to establish some kind of baseline
we're representing Leanne today
yeah there's a show that we want people to watch
promoting something and I don't think this is happening on that show
I think Chuck runs a pretty tight ship
We're trying to convey, like, sort of what the show is going to be like.
What are you doing?
I hope you're...
What is that?
What is that?
It's a paddle.
A paddle.
You're playing a...
You're bobbing playing a paddle ball game.
So that's what you do.
When you want something to stop, you bring on a paddle game and start playing paddle.
Well, it needs to be addressed.
I mean, it certainly worked.
There was no way we could just let it go uncommented upon.
That would stop just about any proceeding.
Yeah.
Instead of saying objection, the lawyer should start.
Yeah. Paddle in one hand and a giant lolly in the other.
My goodness, with the sideways hat.
And that's kind of what you can expect from Leon.
Yeah, that's on Leanne.
So this is on Leanne.
Yes.
This is on Lee.
I've seen some of Chuck's shows.
He doesn't usually, he's not usually that loose with what's happening.
Usually there are characters.
They're having, you know, coherent conversations.
And they are in a sense, but...
Loaded with wisecracks and quips, but still...
Right.
Dime a dozen.
Which is how many?
The dime or the dozen?
What is how many what?
And that's what I'm saying.
I was wondering how many is a dime a dozen.
I mean, it's leading, right?
Because the dime's 10 and a dozen...
I don't feel comfortable saying this at all.
But the way you do that thing is not...
Correct.
the shimmy
the shimmy is not
what are you talking about
oh it's because I don't have big
trin trons
oh okay we don't
we don't talk about
trin trons
I get it
you're saying I can't shimmy
because I don't got some
yabos
busting out the court
trin trons
paddling down the fifth
we're not talking
I don't got some major league
yabo waboes
we are not talking about the equipment
we are talking about the craftsmen
we are
then maybe you'd say I was shimmying right
but I guess this isn't enough for you
I guess this isn't enough for you
bring them out bring them out
this is all they are their a's
this cannot be on Leanne
I can't be like this I didn't say it was
Leon can't be like this you did you said what you're
doing here is what's
you did say is what is the main part of Leanne
and I quote everything on Leanne
you're never going to forget it
you didn't you didn't say that
that sentence was not mentioned before
You're holding up a number
A decent left
Hannah
Like Chuck is going to be so upset
I know I'm so bummed
This was an incoming call for you to do the show
I called I called it called it called
This one was and that never happens
That I call that's the guest calls
The guests, it's usually us
Just scrounging for a guest somewhere
and we had this guest just arrived to us.
I was just waiting on Coahuangha.
She must have something she wants to do.
I've shown you so many cool things.
Hollywood Hamburg.
Kevin, what does this text that appears upon my screen?
Why, surely there has been an error.
This advertisement, it suggests the listener
enlist the services of rocket money
defined and cancel their unwanted subscriptions.
But the mere premise suggests that the listener has not already
enlisted the services of rocket money.
Why, the mere premise is absurd, Kevin.
Do check and see if there has been an error with the advertisement.
Doesn't look like it.
What?
Then, the mere premise is correct?
The listener has yet to enlist the services of rocket money
to help find and cancel their unwanted subscriptions,
monitor their spending,
and help lower their bills
so they can grow their savings?
Why, why, the Mayor Premis is shocking!
Why, Rocket Money's dashboard
lays out their total financial picture,
including bill due dates and pay days
in a way that's easy to digest.
You can even automatically create
custom budgets based on your past spending.
Do check again, Kevin.
Do check the Mia Premus again.
No, it looks like it's
What?
But Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in cancel subscriptions,
with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the apps premium features.
Why, I've never been so shocked by a mere premium in my life.
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Go to RocketMoney.com slash the boys today.
That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys.
dot com slash the boys
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I really sorry that should
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I have a business
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well you see these big and tall stores
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they're already big and tall
but what about
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And I really relate to the struggle
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Well, and it is ironic.
You want the business to be as big as it can be.
And that has really caused a lot of tension because...
Alienates your audience.
Yes, because they want the business
to be incy-weensy as well.
And so after all,
who's got the time to knit all?
these clothes and help them try them on and everything like go into the like you can't go into
the dresser even to find them yes even to find them sometimes to find all the yes to find these
small fellows well they'll be riding a mouse around and then the mouse will run into its hole
inside the wall and then you'll be like I can't get inside the wall they don't want to be found
and like yeah the small fellows don't want to be found and like when I'm like what's crazy
They'll help me make the clothes at night, but it's like, I've actually tried to sell the clothes to you.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's like, this is great that I like have the inventory, but I need you guys to buy the clothes for me.
Yeah, and they're kind of like going like, well, isn't the labor that I put into, you know, making the clothes?
Like, shouldn't you be paying me for that?
And it's like, but then if I'm paying you.
That was just going out the door.
Yeah.
Who made the clothes that you have?
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Hollywood Handbook. You're the daughter?
I'm the daughter. Josie. She's quietly girl. That kind of explains what it's like.
This is a crazy girl. Okay. This is just a nasty team.
no respect you have no
absolutely no respect
for the host of the show
no respect for the podcast
this podcast is old enough that it is
an institution this is just like mommy
this might as well be mommy
I swear over Jehomba's Wimbus
I love being here
I swear
over Jimben's crimes
I love being here but yes I think you
love like the feeling
that it gives you to disrespect
you love yeah you love
stepping into the church
and flipping the bird
to the crucifix.
I mean, this is what we're dealing with here.
This is a big
lugy down so it almost touches
the Bible
and then sucking it back up.
The hymnal.
Maybe the hymnal.
Maybe the hymnal.
Let's sing favorite hymns on threes.
I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing anything with you.
I'm not doing anything on threes.
Nothing will be in unison with you.
I know that as a setup.
I know that as a recipe for failure
I will be the one
to look a fool
and I'm so glad you didn't even get to one
before
that's a rule for the rest of their thing
come on
it's now that I'm stinky as well
that's what you think a tugboat
is that it stinks
that I smell bad
I love my soup
because I eat too much
soup it makes me stinky
meanwhile
you are drenched in sweat.
Everybody, let's play soup or bisque.
Bring them out.
Bring them out.
Bring them out.
What is it that you think is coming?
Yeah.
Is it like bowls?
It's different bowls.
And then you can't look.
Was that what it was when you're saying?
You can't look or touch?
Were you talking about bowls?
You can't look or touch.
You just got to go soup or bisque.
It's just testing your psychic abilities.
It's not like identifying.
the short king, the aforementioned short king.
Yeah, who's actually really hot
and if you would see, you would know.
Yeah, I'm not disputing that.
It would be nice at least.
People say he's a short king,
but about people in general,
they should say he's the short king.
That suggests, like, he's the short king.
He's actually a one who's like in charge of all of them.
Well, my mother-in-law wrote to me and was like,
someone used your phrase.
Someone else said short king.
She thought,
I was the one that made it.
Because you say it so much about her
son. She's like, that's
really nice. Yeah. And she said, but she said
someone else used it. She said someone else's been
using her. Who was it?
The internet.
Okay. She got on there? She's on the big
interwebs. Uh-oh. So she could potentially
find this. And this is Leanne?
No, sorry.
So let me take you a little bit
through Tinseltown. Okay. So there's
your reels, moms and pops. And then you're
your fiction's moms and pops. Okay.
Leanne's is my fiction's mums.
Okay.
My real mom, Luke.
My fake mom, Leanne.
Your real mom is Luke?
Yeah.
Lusite.
Lusite?
Lusite.
Luset.
She goes by Luke.
And my dad's Simone.
Your dad is Simon.
Your dad was born Simone.
Luke and he goes by Simon.
Okay.
Okay.
Wow.
So.
Seamen and Lusites.
so normally what people do when they come on a promote a show they talk about things like
it's a freaking nudie booth episodes it's a nudie booth simone and lucid semen and lucite oh my god
this is their favorite podcast i told them that you keep it crisp and clean and g and here you are
first of all talking about my hornkers if this is their favorite podcast why did you have to tell
them what it was like yeah in the next sentence why did you have to oh oh are you a detective
Why did you have to explain it to them if his therapy?
Do not paddle ball on that.
No paddle on that.
Oh, let me guess.
On asking if he's a detective.
Two paddle balls.
Oh, no.
That can't be a paddle ball.
This is now that like.
I'm going into orbit.
No, the paddles aren't working.
Now you drop them.
Your hands are open.
You just dropped.
She ribbon dance so hard.
She created a tornado.
And I'm putting them in here so that you're pleased.
And now I've got bigger honkies.
Putting the paddle ball toy in there.
is not creating any kind of...
That's even an optical illusion
and it would be pretty disappointing.
Get those out of there.
Get those out.
You asked for that.
Roll the tape, you asked me to put...
I did not.
You said not enough to promote Leanne.
And that's not what I meant.
He said promote Leanne and then he made the observation.
He said he hated to even mention it.
But he said that the way that you were executing the shimmy
wrong it just didn't feel like even you understood what you wanted to be doing with your body
my uber's saying
your uber is saying round the block your uber's in here is there hey is the uber in the room with
us now is the uber oh what is the name of the different episodes of the show
Yeah, just tell me a couple of episode titles
so I can kind of wrap my head around this.
What's the naming convention at least
of the episodes?
Yeah.
Like the one where Leanne falls down.
Is it a quote from the episode?
Leanne and the game.
Okay.
I can remember a couple.
Judging soup versus Bix.
Yes, there's one.
Soup versus Bisk.
No, there's one.
Too Much Wedding ring.
I'm in that one.
It's called Too Much Wedding.
Okay.
Yeah.
Are they all too much something?
No.
Okay.
No.
Then I'm completely.
lost now and it's funny
because Chuck like likes
to play with this are they all something something wedding ring
with Bing Bang it was like different
science like different kinds of science
right
one is a different kind of science
they almost ran out of kinds of science
no kidding yeah they made so many
damn episodes I know I see those on the plane
I'm so glad that we got a little
break because we just could not
have maintained the pace that we were operating.
And I almost had something.
And I was like, let's just see.
I think that a break will naturally work its way into the conversation.
Can I show you something kind of cool?
They say if you want to seduce, you go, let me show you something.
Yeah.
They say if you want to seduce because we all made some eyes for a minute.
And it was getting there a little bit.
And that's not what he was saying about like what was happening in that break.
That's not what he was saying.
you liked about it there was there was no i mean like i don't i don't even think that happened it was
just at long last i was able to take the slightest breath and just have some let's you know what let's
from no one let's do that and we didn't even get to listen to the song is there anything in there
it's empty right it's got to be yeah it's just does it's got to be that thing has been cat for so
blog that is what my name sounds like
so
lean what was it like
being friends with lean yeah
she's the best she really is the funniest person in the whole world
okay and she is the most magical voice in the whole world
doesn't make me feel great oh i'm sorry i'm right here
i know he's literally sitting right next to that was your superlative
fucking guy but to be fair that was a really long time ago most likely to be
funniest person. Most likely to
get to be possibly the funniest person.
Most likely to succeed at becoming
the funniest person later. But then
so much potential I had. But we can't
really be sure. And then the
next page. Thank you Flappers.
And this is what is so problematic
about someone like Leanne
who. Least
problematic person. Well, like
is not famous
for a long time.
Right? Yep. And is
being a mom. Right. And
stuff like that and is like kind of letting everyone else like have a chance of doing it instead
of her right and kind of like acting like she's not going to yeah yeah yeah just kidding
i think i have to kind of get in there kind of tricking everyone sorry can i see can i see the mic
real quick i think what you're trying to do is this right as soon as she decided it was her time
when other people were trying to do it yeah all bets are off for everybody else which is interesting
because I've been trying to do it.
It's not what all bets are off means.
Just not what it means.
Yeah.
What?
Whoa.
Are you talking about?
Hayes is kind of a stickler for the way that the phrase all bets are off gets used.
What's the but?
You mean that like the game is over.
I can't even mess up in this place.
I thought this, I thought when you're here, your family.
But evidently when you're here, you're targeted.
This is exactly what I thought was going to happen.
yeah jinks you owe me a spright
he did not say the same
jinks you owe me a doctor bib
which is better dr pipp or dr pepper
say it under your prep it's mr pib and dr pepper
you said the same it's mr pib and dr pepper
you said dr pib or dr pepper
but dr pib doesn't even fucking exist
so i guess dr pepper's better
are you guys like
are you guys friends now
you and lian so let's talk about lean's story a little bit
That's the type of thing that we want to do in promoting the show.
Yeah, so that we can get people interested in the show.
You, I believe that you did think we were doing that,
which is why we've had to kind of wrestle the show away from you, the guest,
and get us just back onto some sort of recognizable track.
So talk about being in the car with Leanne.
What she got on the news?
The tugboat has to pull along the other into the docks.
I got to tugged you into the.
You got to tug me back into the harbor.
Never cared for harbors.
Well, I'm harboring some thoughts about you right now.
I'm going to keep a lid on.
And so that's not water.
Well, hold on.
You said keep a lid on as if we were going to be really impressed.
Never put a lid on water before?
I'm going to bump a buoy on over to you and drown you in the water.
Tell me you've never put a lid on water without telling me you've never put a lid on water.
Tell me you've never seen jaws.
i can't i can't i can't do that do you know that shark's not real the shark from jaws
you tell me please tell me about leann okay these don't tell me about jaws anymore okay
please focus on leanne's story on netflix what uh number one on netflix right now is
wednesday yeah we wrapped on lean tuesday tuesday tuesday tuesday
I want to say
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
last year my birthday was on a Thursday
This year Greg's birthday was on a Tuesday
Okay. If you reverse Tuesday and Thursday
That's Taylor Swift's album, seven.
Greg's the short game?
The short king.
Okay, we got a name.
Yeah, and who's his mom?
Gail.
Gail.
Gail is the one who got, Gail.
Gail got online.
Gail got online.
My parents loved.
this podcast and they're going to be really disappointed yeah because it's some of the
filth my parents love this podcast and they're going to be they're going to be sad to death
about how i was treated about how we didn't talk about anything important we didn't talk about
we didn't talk about lean story really interesting my uber i wish people could hear it it would be
such a great venue to share leanne story and get them you know steered towards the show and
finally take that wednesday down a day you know it'll be a great venue to share lean story
Cobbs Comedy Club
Get in
My Station Wagon
and let's head
to San Francisco
Home of the Giants
You want to go
to Cobb's Comedy Club?
They don't hit like that.
You're out of here.
They would not
be successful
at all.
They don't say
you're out of here
when they hit the ball.
Rocket power.
Edit this out.
Make this
safe by the bell instead.
No,
that's the San Francisco
Giants don't say rocket power.
Comedy Club.
We did, and we did a show there.
Yeah, we performed there.
How'd that go?
It went off.
No judgment.
Oh, yeah.
It wasn't great.
How'd that go?
Really good, yeah.
It was so good.
Yeah.
How could you tell?
How could we tell that we sold it out?
Oh, okay.
Oh, Mr.
Tunkboat over there.
Okay, yeah.
And I saw you thinking that maybe you're going to change it.
Maybe you need a little piece of Leanne's humble pie.
Okay.
Well, this sounds like something I could learn about Leon.
Is Leanne served some.
humble pie when people are getting a little bit
Big for their brits.
On Netflix is Hunting Wives.
Hunting Wants.
Uh-huh.
And that wrapped on.
And that wrapped on, let's see.
And that was late on a Monday.
Mm-hmm.
And number one is Wednesday,
which wrapped on Tuesday.
Number one is Wednesday.
No, you wrapped.
I wrapped on a Tuesday.
Wednesday's number one.
And then hunting wives.
Which was your birthday?
One of my friends is four
because of the leap day birthday,
but actually 30.
I think your friend is 16
Oh then I probably shouldn't be taking them to the nightclubs
I think
Your friend has been lied to you about being 30
But it's actually 16
Shimmie with me
The way you shivvy
Looks like
Maybe a position that's natural for you
Which is getting two IVs at the same time
Yeah because I'm always
Weas
I know
could shoot stuff out of your hand that wasn't thread like Spider-Man what would it be
and so I was so just so I understand the rules it's not thread like Spider-Man right
it shoots thread I have to shoot something out that wasn't thread like Spider-Man
yeah because he's always sewing quilts okay hmm this is actually a and I want to say
thread like Spider-Man but that's no it's all it's all I can think of switch this up
This is the most normal positioning you've had the entire show.
This actually is fine with me.
You asked me to shimmy with you at one point, and I've seen you shimmy so many times
that I know that I don't know how to do it anymore.
You know, you don't even need your arms sometimes.
When I came in today, I was certain that I understood what a shimmy looked like,
and now I'm like, I can't, for fear of what would come out of me if I tried.
So in terms of, like, I'm shooting something out of my wrists.
Right.
It can't be a thread like Spider-Man.
Did you say wrist?
I think you said fingers.
Isn't it?
I thought it was wrist, but yeah.
Is it right?
But it's not a thread like Spider-Man.
Yeah.
It's not a threat like Spider-Man.
That's what you said?
Yes.
Okay.
So let's all go back.
What would you shoot out of your wrist?
Not a threat like Spider-Man?
Money, I guess, probably.
Yeah, piss.
All right, I didn't mean to piss everybody off.
everyone's freaking roasting and toasting me right now you would shoot I'm over hot coals right
now hot piss no that was mine out of your wrists that was yours you were both gonna say
piss because I knew my parents would like that yeah this was specifically a joke aimed at
Hannah's parents say what their names are yeah it's Luke and and it's always a question
and your dad's name is stylized with the number one and the number three
three like the movie
like the AI movie character
Simone that's right wow
what's that song
no no don't
she wants to touch me whoa
don't say no don't
don't trust oh especially
that whoa I feel like it took a lot
out of you yeah
whoa no we cannot be responsible
for you trying to do that whoa
somebody get the wheelbarrow
I'm hanging by a single
thread to bring it on back around
Yeah, just like Spider-Man.
It's not a lot of distance between that last one for a traditional callback.
Yeah.
Might want to go a little more daylight between.
I'm anything but a conformist.
I agree.
Was just a mom, and then her kids grew up.
And her kids grew up.
Right?
And she was looking for something to do.
She was selling, I want to say, makeup or jewelry at different houses.
At different houses.
not at the same house
okay
you're sure she wasn't selling them
at the same
my understanding of the story
and I'm not disagreeing with you
was there was one house
that she was selling
okay
excuse me
the paddle again
excuse me
someone's been back
I had like floated off
in the space or whatever
but you have more
now the paddle is somehow
a tool of punishment
for me when I put bad
I'll put it away for right now
please do
I got a lot of stuff
my holster
Gatorate
okay
and cups
Uh-huh.
Paddle.
Uh-huh.
Friendship Journal.
What is a friendship journal?
Musings about what today's going to be like.
We had a nice time.
Well, I think.
Me and my guys.
They seem to really like me.
I slid home on my butt from all the sweat.
Thinking about my guys.
Hang about my mind.
Miss Pilkis, do you want to know, as you brought up Gatorade,
would you like to know?
And this is a little Leanne-type material.
Do you want to know what my daughter calls Gatorade?
Absolutely.
Hydro-drater.
Oh, that's good.
Hydro-drater.
That's better.
Yeah, hydrotator.
This is Leanne-type stuff.
That is perfect.
You should send a pitch, and that's how they...
I would send that to Leanne.
You just send a pitch.
Yeah, what is the fax number again?
Oh, yeah.
How many?
oh no well you say how many sure both yeah how many
how many you say
yeah I won't be I won't be you're not gonna do this with us
I will not be participating in this either making a note
this is even worse than I love writing in this journal when there's that
journal you don't write on it while it's in your holster you have to take it out
You don't need to
You can tort yourself like that in your holster
That's where you're Gatorade
The Gatorade Hensertrader
Those aren't your glasses
Yeah these are making it worse
That's because it's a slinky
Oh Chrissy
And that's kind of the stuff you can
Like Threes Company
Remember?
Wow
Remember?
member
member
wow
yeah chrisie
members only
she did stuff like that
she was always being such a goofish
she would take a slinky out of her
gatorade old for thinking it was glasses
yeah she'd pull
yeah she was always they were like
she assumed was glasses out of a gatorade bottle
they were glass at the time
what she was talking about
immediately when she said chrissey
I knew that we were talking about
three's company
and I was hoping you'd remember
I'm such you're I'm such a chrisie
you're such a
and they used to do that kind of
shimmy thing right so that's also like
for sure that was part of the show
was horned by people shimmie
yeah he's company
he you know what he is he's
he's Mr. Furley is he
you sure
I know that's right I'm Mr. Furley
I'm Mr. Hurley
what did that the way she
high-fived you she just kind of grabbed your
thumb I mean I'm decided
I'm deciding to like it now yeah
no I won't do it
it again.
You want to do it again.
Yeah.
I know that's right.
That's the kind of thing I only need one of, yeah.
Mr. Furby's
kind of wrapped the thumb.
And you guys are sold on this whole thing like this?
Well,
the pillows over there.
No, I'll take all three pillows.
For mentioning that.
Oh.
Like, we could use those over here.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe nothing to spill.
A hot Redsy coming at you.
Life comes at your fast.
Oh, no.
For everything else, there's MasterCard.
And let's keep that in because that's a sponsorship for me.
She's so full of little phrases.
Right?
It was from history.
Can we swap this out for safe other than that?
It is, she is doing largely what AI is trained to do.
Look, the pits games.
Yes, it's coming around to the top.
Yeah.
But what I'm going to do?
It's like, I'm on medicine so I can be happier.
And I'm happier, but it will walk on.
Your body thinks that it's upside down.
Yeah.
I'm Stranger Things
I'm a strange thing
You are stranger
Stranger Things was just written about me
upside down
I guess if you
You know you're on medication
You're on medication
That's a strange thing
Hi I'm the Duffer brother
There's only one
Would he be a brother if there's only one
No that's the Duffer brother
Don't go there
It's a tougher brother.
Go there.
So you're on medication.
How much of this can you use do you think?
We don't, you know, we don't care what happens.
Okay.
Hollywood handbook.
Hollywood handbook.
You're on medication.
Right.
Well, be it.
And it's, you know, supposed to help your brain.
Right.
But it's leaking out of your armpits.
Mm-hmm.
And this stuff is so good that it's trying to climb back in.
to your break.
Yes.
We're trying to get up
to the top through your ear.
This is a great commercial
for Welbutrin.
In addition to the
MasterCard commercial we just did.
That could be,
well, yeah,
well,
Butron,
when there's so much good stuff
crawling on out of you,
wants to get back in there,
keep it where it belongs.
It's so good.
When it's so good,
so much good stuff
coming out of you,
it wants to get back in there,
keep it where it belongs.
I'm handed out of it.
I'm headed out of it.
Okay.
And I know that hurt.
your eye. I know that your eyes
dry out from that one. It was like a little
a little uh.
Mm-hmm. Yeah,
a little glaucoma test. Yeah. That's what they
did. You're now ready for
soup or BISC. Let's roll them out.
Hannah. Okay.
Who else is in?
Yeah, who else is in Leanne? Is there anyone
normal we could talk to to to find out about the show after this?
They're all coming in one by single file one by one in order of who ate the
last lease. Okay. Who else did Chuck bring in?
One by one is not that abnormal for coming into
really any room.
Just because of the size of the door.
Okay, well, they all wanted to come in together to wish you guys happy birthdays,
but I told them to come in one by one.
Okay.
It was my birthday last week.
It was, yeah.
On a...
Boat.
Monday.
It was on Monday.
Oh, got it.
What's the number one show on Netflix?
Well, that was when...
Hunting Wives.
Hunting Wives on Monday.
Hunting Wives on Monday.
Do you have a good day?
Yeah.
Thank you for asking.
You wrapped onto...
Hunting Wives wrapped on Monday.
Honey was wrapped on Monday
Yeah
My friend
Who's born on Leap Year is
Turns out 16
But why have I been
Slurping Yeager bombs
With them all over town
At the club
Slicin on dice in the night scene
Yeager bombs at the club
Can't catch me down
Because I'm up in those clubs
Serving it hot
Hot
Hot Yeager bombs
Line at the Yeager
Make sure it's hot
Got some yager fresh off the stove.
Get me an easy bake oven and pop those yagers in because I'm about to pop off.
But I guess the fact that your friend had an easy bake oven was a clue that they weren't 30.
Yeah.
Well, they were probably older then.
Oh, you're old.
Because you haven't been around for a while.
You think they were older in the past?
I think that's the opposite of how it's traditionally.
Stranger things
That's something that happens
On that show
Feels like if you have to have watched
Every part of this podcast
To understand any moment
Yeah but
Yeah or you turned it off
A couple minutes in
And they're both the same experience really
Which historically has been my case
All two times
People starting
Part of the way through
Has not been an issue for us
Let me bring it back to me
Leanne I recommend start at the beginning
Okay
Okay so is it serialized
They're weaving something
There's a journey.
You're going to see a
whole tale.
Okay.
As your character experienced
some sort of growth?
Yeah,
I like to say so.
So too much wedding ring.
I'm staying hot.
I'm staying tall.
Staying 5'10 from the beginning,
which we started shooting on a Sunday.
And then seven months later,
we wrapped on a Friday
and I was still 5'10.
So in terms of growth,
it was pretty.
So your thing is like,
we joke about a lot of things,
but the height is real.
Well, it's not somebody to joke about.
We're not like joking about that.
My height's not something to joke about it.
Yeah, well,
I wasn't even trying.
to actually
but you know
we can
we can continue to not do it
so too much
word is John's 16th
comes back is what you're saying
like there's seeds planted
and too much wedding ring
have you very familiar with
you're familiar with like a town square
um
you want to take this one
I have a feeling
that the aspects of a town
town square that I'm familiar with
are not necessarily what you're referring to
So tell me what you are conceiving as being an aspect of a town square.
You've got the horses trotting by.
So that you've got Jason Alexander with a.
Yes, none of this is what I was thinking.
Okay.
So that's what I did it.
It was Jason Alexander.
And you swallowed it.
No, that was just my will be.
Leanne has to shut down production because of the way you said, Jason Alexander.
I had to take my well-butrin 43 minutes into the pot.
And I just did.
I just was keeping it between my teeth the whole time.
Between your teeth like a suicide pill.
Oh, way to bring it there.
Oh, sorry.
Geez.
You seen virgin suicide?
It's sort of the opposite.
No, I haven't seen that.
So picture of Town Square, right?
You've got horses trotting by.
Oh, so Jason.
You don't have to say Jason Alexander.
I don't want to explain to Chuck Lurie why they can't film.
Medication helped, I guess.
Yeah.
Jason Alexander going,
Season two, pick up delay.
welcome to the town yeah okay big hair yeah massive massive lock you could see that odd
camera wow and locks for love you're sort of like spider man shooting the thread out oh yeah you just
fire uh yeah you fire one thick hair out of your head into a hat hey i check this out
Spider-Man more like Spider-Lady
Yeah, take that green goblin
Don't look up close
I haven't shaved in a while
Wasn't planning on it
But I bet you'd love to
Oh wait, forgot my winkers aren't big enough
Fallen on your leg
Actually
Okay, so you were
You were talking about the town
The town square
We don't have a huge amount of time left
But you were talking about the town square
Is it just the square screen that the
movie the town is always playing on it my house okay it's always square it's always square yes it's like
that's just i just call it a tv set but yeah i'm always watching the town yeah on that square and jason
alexander is on there yeah on blue ray so that's the town square jason alexander is on blue ray
give it up for blue and i have to raise the roof because jason alexander's on blue ray raise the roof
but the roof's pretty low the way you're raising it's below even your head level so your head must be sticking out
through a hole at the roof.
So it's prom night.
You're standing out of the sunroof of the limo
and you're pushing on the edges of the roof of the car.
Fung, head slices off.
Tunnel.
A tunnel.
Stranger things have happened.
Well, that was six feet under, actually.
Oh, I love that show.
R.I.P.
To the people.
On the show.
Yeah.
Show him some love.
Let's show him some love.
Let's give it up flappers for the people
who died on the show six feet
some love lovers
some love
are there
are there sad moments
on Leanne
yeah like
like it's real life
like when it ended
when it ended
foo wee
phoingus
and you might notice
I'm doing there's a laugh track
but then there's also me going
oh gee brother
oh shucks
you're doing
that in the in the audio track i was in seven episodes but i'm in eight doing things like
i hate that for her is there a live audience yes okay there's live audience
and there's live audience and there's live audience uh-huh you get along with the warm-up
comic yeah
bring you in for one of those sort of crowd hype
up games? Well, my friends, my friends, it's so funny.
Don't point it to me either.
I'm so afraid
to tell you guys something that I think so funny.
Okay. I hope you like it.
Yeah. So funny. So
we did the episode. My friends came.
The warm-up host loved them. They were the
bells of the balls. And I
did the episode afterwards, we're in the parking
lot and the people are like, oh,
you were in the show? Congrats.
Were you guys the ones doing the warm-up?
you guys were amazing because your friends they were a bigger part of the experience
even though I was actually the one in the show mm-hmm your friends did the warm-up
sucks I hate that I led with this is gonna be so funny I'll just say like Clifford I wonder
if your friends had told me the story if I wouldn't like that well why don't we call him up
okay you keep threatening to call people
people, like, I'm going to be scared by you calling someone on the phone.
Call hottie tauties, waiting by the phone.
They don't want to talk.
Okay.
It called my mom.
It's just there is.
I need a towel.
It's a fun episode for me.
There is a non-zero chance that you are going through a major medical episode.
Success has been terrible for you.
Whatever has happened in the last eight months or whatever since you did the show.
has been horrible for you know how lindsay lohan's had a glow up i've got a glow down you had a glow down
and the comparison is how how well people look at lindsay lohan and say she's doing so well i'm doing
well yeah just not physically glow up is a play on blow up tugboat and glow down tugboats
No, no, not talking about it.
Globes do not blow up.
Globes play on blowup.
Don't you think?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
You know what I would love.
I'd love to see blown up?
The floats at the Macy's Day parade.
Okay, well, this is evidence now.
And I grew up in New York City.
Uh-huh.
A lot of town squares there, and I would wake up, I would wake up Thanksgiving morning,
bag of hot nuts, waiting for the floats to come by.
Santa.
And when Santa came, that was
now it was Christmas time.
And you, but
you wanted to see them blow up.
You would be waiting for them, but like, now you want to see them
like explode or blow up like the balloon
because the balloons are already blown up.
Oh, oh, this is a misunderstanding.
The float, you said, right?
But the floated the balloons float together.
The balloons float.
She's calling the balloons.
But the floats are not balloons.
You ever seen them when they let go of Garfield and he went
float so you were all you were saying was that you would like to see the balloons get blown
up get blown up so they can be in the parade okay it sounded like you were planning
terrorism yeah no need for me to soften that language cut that part out and put a little bit
of six feet under in there is there a part i mean you love the show a little bit of six feet
under specific episode i love when the guy dies by golf ball okay how did that happen
he's golfing ball yeah okay don't think of it as a famous part that's law and order yeah yeah
that's a gavel this is so when you said paddle before you were actually trying to say gabble these are snaps
that's a gabble this is a paddle these are snaps and and when is when is leanne you can catch all left
Hold on.
Bye.
Hollywood Handbook.
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