Hollywood Handbook - Ify Nwadiwe, Our Dad Hacks Friend

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

IFY NWADIWE returns to put The Boys through Thot Dad Boot Camp.Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so the farmer is coming down the line right looking at everyone's tomato judge the tomato yeah check the tomatoes yeah who's who's the who's the best every year it's always yeah and i look down at mine my tomato is awful yeah it is i don't want to say anything before you laugh you were loading it into the truck and you were so excited and i'm just like i'm to say nothing of the big worm who peeked out and said i don't know if it was the light yes the big worm was hiding for me i guess but it was like peeking out at everyone else and like yeah winking and doing like so it the tomato is way too long. Yeah.

It doesn't. I mean, it looks like more cucumber shape. Can I say this? As you were putting it in the truck and you went, I'm going to the tomato contest. Without that context, I would not have known it was a tomato that you were loading up. It was long and it wasn't red we can say it's now right it wasn't red it's sort of which they don't have to be but i totally coincidentally i i it was basically my flesh tone yeah and so i don't know if that is because of i was touching it too much or the tomato is looking at me it's like i'm its dad it wants to be me yeah but it's like long flesh and of course a bunch of the little farm kids when i wasn't looking when it was on display did write

schwing piece tomato on it schwing piece tomato schwing piece tomato yeah uh and it yeah and it didn't help obviously that you were touching it so much so uh you know whether that changed the color or not but look um i'm sorry that happened uh you know you did get a prize you didn't get first prize but you did get worst tomato uh which is still like you know a lot of people go home empty-handed so um uh but you know we don't have time to do all that today we have a guest you know if he's here um yeah your boy's back i was i was riveted and i was just gonna sit here silent and listen to the tomato update and we always appreciate that you wouldn't believe if he how many guests would not believe this if he who who come in and

they you know we're having a great conversation about yes his tomato or something and now here's my thing yeah introducing me my tomato opinion and it's like bitch you're not a fucking judge at the contest you're not one of the hollywood handbook hosts you're not even fucking judge at the contest. You're not one of the Hollywood handbook hosts. You're not even Kevin, who we actively dislike. I mean, see, a lot of guests come on the podcast, and they just want to talk. I'm different in that way. I hop on the podcast, and I'm here to listen. So I'm here to take it in.

That's what I do when I guess on shows. I pass out in the cut oh smart i don't just sit in there well if i'm on the show it's because i'm a fan of the show yes yeah i'm not a fan of me i can't stand me so i go i go i can't wait to go on and get to see basically a live performance of this show i'm not at the movies going like here's what i think about this part of the movie you know i'm just watching if you last time you were here was with matt apodaca yes uh and until you finally found a saw that could get the handcuffs off oh 100 release him off to do whatever he's gonna do not your business anymore

yeah yeah i mean you know he went and he started doing his gamer thing you know um which i was wondering where he got that idea thank you yeah is there anyone he knows who was successfully doing the gamer thing never even heard of gamer yeah by the way he never mentions you never not not once we went to high school together and um i tried to hand him a controller in the high school yeah yeah yeah yeah i did you know i had to pay my dues uh so i so you know i hand him a controller and he says yuck so you know smash cut to many years late yeah uh yeah i ain't no nerd that's his rose direct quote matt said that yes he is yeah he look you should have seen him in high school wearing leather jackets like he was trying

to do a fonz thing new age fonz uh and uh he would always wear a leather jacket and i you know i thought he was a cool dude i'd try i was real you know nerdy into my games and i would try and show him uh the games and he'd always say yuck you smell it and be like pu yeah stinky controller not which makes no sense like the controller to me like that's not what what's bad about it it's not gross oh it's that it hurts yeah it hurts he like commissioned uh a kid from uh his art class to do a calvin-esque picture of him pissing on my video games uh and wow yeah just a pile of of my video cartridges and inbox or yeah inbox it was kind of hard to see so i guess they didn't get that much p on them then in that case no you could still use the game yeah but i but it but yeah you'd know and also like if he ruins the game that sucks but no questions asked you throw it out yeah but if he does it on the box there is an element of like

it's almost crueler because you you know as you said every time you open it like i should probably replace this like it got peed on oh definitely since you don't have to you won't yeah you know you're just hanging out the games yeah oh man uh so i i was playing um many of the iterations of tetris uh pokemon puzzle league um yeah he got the p on that those classics the pp on that. Those classics. Flight simulator. Farming simulator. Game of the year type games. Peepy mango.

Yeah. Rollercoaster tycoon. Flight urinator. No. Yes. Rollercoaster tycoon. Tet piss. Yeah. All of it ruined. ain't that the truth

Dr. Mario but Mario's a urologist yeah that's the kind of doctor nasty man awful guy and I'd love to talk about it the whole time but unfortunately we have got some I have clout to pursue

okay okay fair enough I have my own clout to chase on this show if he dad stuff huh oh yeah it's crazy it's it's beautiful it's wild it's wacky

it's it's pain it's pleasure It's beautiful. It's wild. It's wacky. It's pain. You can't even really explain it. I mean, it's so many things. I mean, it's life. 100%. It's messy as hell. Truly. Like, when you get those blowouts, those diaper blowouts yeah shit goes up the back

yes it goes all the way up the back all the way up the back your baby's back is covered in shit and yeah on your neck oh yeah the diaper is on your neck yeah i mean that's what's happening it's tossing the baby's blowing the diaper off their body yeah and it's shooting across the room and hitting you right in the neck yeah and in in a weird way you're grateful for that because you knew if it was sitting down it would lift off like a rocket oh yeah and hit the roof on the soft part of the head and now you got to explain that to the doctor yeah i always say thank you to the baby yeah no it's hard enough to explain to the doctor why i got a diaper wrapped around my neck when i come in and and then you're painting this scenario where

like the rocket blast off happens forget it so no you are you're grateful it hits you in the neck you go oh thank goodness well first you go oh and then so this is thank goodness so this is more of the stuff that we want to do yeah well like the the dad stuff but we want to get in on this martin now that we all are doing this thing how do we translate this into content getting a piece of this market over 50 hundred million dollars are spent a year every single year are spent on every single year i'm so glad we can get just 1 20 hundredth of that of that audience just if we can capture literally 1 20 100 what that that translates to cha-ching and you know roughly oh yeah i've done the research too and i've done it and so share your research

with me where my problem is and where maybe y'all can do better um bad kids get the most clicks the most impressions uh that's a huge problem when they're just wearing at you bad kids yeah well if you have a well-behaved child, you're not going anywhere. There was a TikTok trend on the clock app where you would leave a gummy bear, a treat, some candy in front of your kid. And you'd say, don't touch it. And you walk away. And the video would capture your child's uh you know transition into a life of crime you see them do the the the bargaining in their head and they're like i want that candy

so fuck the law fuck my parents yes yeah i'm getting that candy so i tried to do that with my daughter and she just sat there in silence uh for almost 10 minutes awful video yeah i was like what am i gonna do with this worst video i could imagine yeah i puked i i puked yeah i would never that almost seemed like you trying to force like some kind of coda to the video yeah on camera yeah yeah just because otherwise you got nothing like yeah you have just a really really bad video you had to use vfx uh yeah oh to simulate the puke wow yeah well because the the you did puke but it ended up being just like dust. Out of disgust.

It was like dust. It was because all you'd had that day were vitamins. Yeah. Well, because I put my, like, every piece of food in my home in front of her. Yes. So that she would just, you know, gorge herself. Yeah. There's nothing to vomit.

Yeah. Yeah. yeah there's nothing to vomit yeah yeah i have been trying to get my kid to cut off a big piece of my hair and then hit the gritty oh and she'll kind of start she'll like take the she'll start hitting the gritty much too early. It's like you haven't done anything yet. Yeah. Barely even. Why? It's barely even recognizable as the gritty. I know.

Yeah. I know. I know, I know, I know. And as you know, as my hair is getting longer and longer. No, I mean, I've been wondering. I've been wanting to talk to you a little bit about it. I mean, first of all, you come in. For people who can't see this

get the video tier because Hayes is slicked back today he's looking like a damn reservoir dogs I'm looking like a reservoir dogs today you got a bank to rob after this he came in like a damn reservoir dogs

and I said this is gonna be a good episode of the show which so far i think it has been but i also said poor haze his child will not cut his hair off now i you know my my kid obviously did cut my hair off this week which great but he did a really nice job i mean he was so patient and caring kind of measuring it out and going like do you want a little more off here like i think we can leave some length in the front but let's go ahead and clean this up and you know again that's a well-behaved kid and then he did he didn't hit the gritty he said he was gonna dab on me afterwards but what he actually did was he he dabbed some shaving cream on me and then he just kind of cleaned up my neck area so that's not a great

video uh there's not really a market for that just a respectful haircut from a child yeah what would be great is if he lopped off a big section of my head here and then and then held it up in the air i'd watch that i'd watch anyone would anyone would i'm gonna be depressed today because i know i will never watch that video he's not gonna do it he's you know i've tried to trick him a couple times ago can you go even shorter here and i'm like pulling out a big i'm kind of offering him you know a bunch of my skin and he's going like no no i don't think so i want to let that grow and he's if we need to touch it up again tomorrow you know i'm gonna be here we live together and it's just so reasonable it's's boring as shit. Wow. Hollywood Handbook.

This week on the Patreon, Carl and Ahsan discuss Kevin Durant, the boys talk business advice on the pro version, and the flagrant ones are mostly talking all things basketball. Check out all these shows and the video for today's episode with Ify at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones. Hollywood Handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app

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They didn't resemble anything from the movie. They were not, they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear. Yeah. And one of them was a dressing. Yeah. One of them was a, was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money

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That's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys so we need to explore other types of content yeah one thing i know and no one tells you no one tells you any of this stuff you know it's all like you're just on your they're like here here you go yeah so much sink or swim so much work preparing for you know the birth which by the way i didn't do anything that whole time it's like you gotta be ready for this and this and what about the hospital's gonna say this and do you need a uh a a doodoo or whatever it's called and and i'm going i don't know like can you keep it down i've got a magazine to read i have a maxim from 1997 year that i haven't finished about sammy the bull gravano starting an ecstasy trade

somewhere in new mexico so i you know i'm i'm trying to finish this article sammy the rat they call him now um but i as i'm doing this it's all this noise and all this stuff going on and you know i'm like what were we preparing for? And then they hand you the baby and they haven't prepared you at all for what happens when you get home. They go, here you go, put it in a bag or,

you know, put it in the car and then, uh, put the car in a bag or. Yeah. Good luck to you. Yes. You,

that just gave me a million dollar idea. Feel free to, you know, I know a million dollar idea feel free to you know i know y'all have the connections to make i don't have the same connections that y'all have but i call it a tula it's after the doula they follow you around for the rest of your life like the sequel to the doula the tula and they follow follow you around and you know take care of your baby if you want to have a night out wow uh and and you know kind of around wow that's really nice that i agree that could easily cost a million dollars yeah that might even be like a like possibly a five million dollar idea over the course of your life yeah but you know i think it's a i think you know i think we need to let them out tool us you know why stop at the do when we can go to that's that's

my elevator pitch when i go to the sharks and they don't tell you if he they don't tell you what's going to happen to your body as a man no oh no because i noticed this happened to you and now i see it happening on myself yeah it's doing it to your muscles start to become so engorged yeah oh yeah no everything swells up you're inflamed right like what is happening to my lats oh yeah this is not my body like this effect becoming a stronger muscular yeah because if you notice the muscle mass on mufasa versus simba yeah you could you could only what's the difference between the two lines one's a father one's that's the only difference and i don't look like me anymore that's not me you know where's my little man in the muscles what am i you know and what am i gonna do with them pick up pumpkins at the pumpkin patch exactly that's what they're for that's it

when they fall asleep after you know you take them to the premiere of uh you know uh the aqua knots or some child you know because that's what i try and do i'm trying yeah i'm trying to get my trying to red carpet yeah you know let her know i yell at her when she comes out in something basic i'm like what's gonna happen when that dress pops on ew weekly now you're getting roasted by baby twitter and and and and how do you come back from that i heard you when i was i was behind you at the aquanauts premiere and you go you go hey babe it's not called a step and repeat because i'm supposed to repeat myself oh yeah i thought that was a banker dad line i like feel free to use that no it was clear that i was supposed to hear it yeah oh no you weren't but oh it felt to me like you were trying to be

overheard because you had this great line of like it's not it's not me repeating myself you know and so um and it's and then this and then the step part you had something too yeah yeah it's like it's it's like if you if you're not ready you're just gonna have to lean in and keep stepping you know yeah no need to repeat if you're not you had a couple runs at it you did a couple different you did a couple different ones i remember you said hey here's step one if you're not ready you that you step then step away off yes yeah and watch your step because i don't want to repeat myself yeah okay you said okay now i've got it but it was awesome because i was watching going like all right i could take some of these you know these lessons home because my kid didn't even show up at the premiere and then i'm out

there with no kid yeah everyone's looking at you where your are you kidding? Yeah. And I was like, he's asleep, man. He's asleep. Oh, yeah. No, you got to keep that baby awake. Right. Yeah. You know what they say? Sleep is the cousin of death.

You know, naps are the brother. Well, even more closely related to death. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Coma Yeah, yeah. Coma, the father. So, you know, like, that's the family tree of death itself. Wow.

Talk about what happened to your body. Oh, you know. Talk about your body, you know, because it's, you know, you've obviously, you're clearly further along in the process than i am and i and i get chills because i go like am i gonna be that big i guess so it started for me with one cheek so i i'm listing i find myself listing off to the side i'm i'm i'm taking on water basically i'm about to yeah i'm about to capsize just sitting in my chair i i saw hayes recently and and i i start checking around to be like am i on choppy seas right now yeah because the way he's moving it doesn't seem

like he's on stable ground the trick i found is wearing platforms on the heavy cheek side and some flat footed shoes on the other to kind of keep the balance you put shoes on on the cheek yeah yeah you put it on the on so so there's going to be some lift that is going to naturally tilt you and keep you balanced and then when that second cheek comes in and you got that bubble popping it's your back will come in oh it will it takes it does take so it's it happens on one side of the body at the time so next is going to be the the bicep of that same side okay and the tries then the traps then you get the middle ab. The middle ab. The middle ab on one side. Then the quads. I got one big lat.

Oh, okay. I can't put that arm down. I can't get that one down. You know what I mean? The Ghostbusters are running around. You know, you got the endomorphs, running around hey yeah you know you got you got the endomorphs the ectomorphs the mesomorphs and that's uh that's how your dad bod develops based on the body type you have i'm feeling like a damn messy morph these yeah well you know it's gonna

get messier yeah because it gets really messy huh yeah. Yeah. Talk about making a big mess. Yeah, some of the juices that are shooting out of me lately, just like, I guess it's sweat, but it seems so much crazier. Well, it's a different type of sweat. See, a lot of us tend to focus on how when women have kids, their breast milk can adapt to the kids kids dietary needs based on the bumps on that based on the bumps on the areola and so that's the same thing you watching every time you watch enough with these bumps yeah exactly what about our bumps well i'm about to tell you about them talk about my bumps yeah yeah come on yeah so when you when you're when you're around the aura

the aura of the uh breastfeeding there therefeeding, there's some energy being sent to you. I've been picking that up. Yeah. And so that's when your body starts going because your body is turning into protector mode. This dates back to cavemen. You know, when we're going to rock carpets. It's evolution. That's why we're still around and kicking ass evolution it's evolution that's why i go i go into it and kicking ass by

the way yeah i find myself when i'm around the breastfeeding and i start picking up the aura i find myself shooting into a three-point stance yeah yeah see that's that's that's what it's all about and that's the beauty of fatherhood baby that's i'm in the triple threat stance where I could shoot, dribble, or pass from this single stance. I'm in ready position. Okay, I like to start with the T pose. Just let my body trunk up and extend my arms. Talk about T pose. Yeah. arms talk about t-pose yeah so the so the t-pose is where you know you keep your your feet together

stand up straight and just extend both arms out to your side so you're making a t with your body can i tell you my variation on it oh so i bend my knees all the way down and get into a low t-pose oh baby t yeah that yeah that might be better might be better a better name for it because um when i talk about being in a in a i've been calling it a phase a low t phase oh yeah i've been losing a lot of respect around the house yeah that's a big risk well big risk and it's you know and i guess maybe i've been whining about about some of the juices coming out because obviously prior to when the lat first came in we could talk about this i had i had lacne i had lat acne yeah and it's like a big pizza

yeah and there was some there was some oil and stuff like that and and in my mind that's just that's that's the colostrum right that comes in before the real new dad sweat oh yeah is generated and that's just your body preparing it obviously the lacne oil is much richer in nutrients it's a lot thicker it has you know it has a lot more uses um and then that subsides and then you do get this sweat that i i did want to discuss because i think of sweat as clear or i used to i used to so that's very close-minded, but go continue. What I'm finding as a dad is that it is orange, isn't it, guys? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

For some of us. Not me. But I've heard of it, you know, because I'm on the subreddits. And I'm just really trying to help other dads transition into the body you see right here. You know, the chest popping up, you know, the biceps looking like. Wow, talk to me. You seem to be moving in a, yeah, it feels, it's almost like it's normal for you now. And I want that.

I want to get there. Well, you just got to, it's kind of like the cocoon. Many dads go through different things. That's why we have the, you you know the man cave craze all everyone thought it was just to watch football games and drink beers alone no that's what we wanted you to think we were doing it there yeah some some dads have been known to go down there and cocoon for a bit you know like get covered in their creams and and let their and let their personal creams help the transition along. Well, my kids got this sleep sack.

You know, you put them inside this little, this sort of potato sack thing that snaps over the shoulders and they sleep. They're all zipped up in it. And I go, why don't we get a big one like this for me for dad really wrap up my where's my dad's hat yeah yeah i mean i need to get zipped up into that now i need some help you know i obviously mommy's gonna have to help you know yes you have a job too today which is you gotta zip me into the fucking sleep sack yeah we'll see that's what i'm talking

we talk about this on dad it all the time um which is the dad reddit uh and and because there's just this weird i'm right you know like they don't like they like you you almost forget the dad exists like well what about yes you know yeah i had to watch my partner's body transition. You know, like, you know, I didn't experience it. No one's watching my body do this. Nobody's been looking at or talking about my body at all. Yeah. Nobody's asked how I feel. So, yeah, I get it.

The only comment I get is that my kid will look at me and go, I think it's time for another haircut. That's just because he wants to cut that hair he just loves it yeah you're probably right but it doesn't feel good to be told that way yeah and so when fun for me like go like hey maybe we could do something cool today maybe we could try doing a haircut and like and maybe if you sit still you can have a lollipop afterwards rather than going like looks like you need a haircut so it just feels so critical yeah like that's not making it a game for me and i tell my kid this all the time like try to make it a game

when you need something from me like rather than being like hey man you want to make me some toast go like hey wouldn't it be cool if this bread was warm like hey let's see how this machine works you know what i mean like let's make it exciting interesting feel like hey you want to make me a piece of toast yeah like that doesn't feel good yeah no you you need a game you. I just got done watching this anime, Hunter x Hunter. Good takes on fatherhood. The premise of the anime is gone. The child is abandoned by his father at a young age. And the father is part of the hunter organization. organization and to meet his father no no they they uh hunt like people and kill them and uh giant chimera ants and so on and so forth and so for whether the pokemons yes it was pokeman adjacent uh they they kind of you know have like uh weird ant faces and eat people but to meet his father he had to go through all of that. So I'm thinking about in about a year or two, I'm going to abandon my daughter. And I'm going to go to another country

and join like, you know, maybe like the IDF, maybe like the police in Germany. Yeah, yeah. Interpol. Some foreign agency. And in order to actually meet me talk to me have a relationship with me she will then have to go through their vetting system and their you know uh training to finally reach the ranks which at that point i'll be the chief um and when she's going to for a promotion she comes to see me and it's like, surprise. I'm proud of you. Yeah.

The chief sitting across. I'm proud of you. Yeah. But I can't approve you for this promotion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. You know, so it's the show's Hunter Hunter.

It's about Hunter Biden and talk about creating amazing content for your dad. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. We all wish we could have Hunter Biden as a child. You know, I try to get my kid to do all kinds of weird substance and a sensory deprivation. It doesn't do anything. Yeah.

No, no. do anything yeah no no the transition in your body once it is complete as it is for you yes you do become the thotty dotty yeah yeah you you become the thought dad and you know your opportunities are endless what are you gonna do you like thought dad better And, you know, your opportunities are endless. What are you going to do? You like thought dad better than the thotty dotty? I'm open to thotty dotty. It's okay if you don't like it. Oh, no, no, no, no. Thotty dotty.

It was great. And what we could talk about doing is a show where you become a thotty dotty the wotty way. I've been pronouncing it, though. So I don't eat so i you know so you just i've been pronouncing it though and i was like maybe it should be like i'm a leader but i you know i i really was struggling to get anywhere near it so i don't want to weigh in too hard on like which one between your two because both ears are so much better than what i had going on i'm realizing like i was like am i thoted with the sauce like i just didn't have

you know i didn't dad wars a new thot you know yeah wow yeah can i get npr thot bag when i like yeah it was really really grim and i was scared to do the episode you guys notice when we started the episode i i didn't want to talk about this shit yeah i want to fucking talk about this shit because i was really scared you were shy and what i should have done oh i was feeling very shy as i should have here's the lesson again that is lesson dad's gotta learn be honest say hey i'm scared can you help me yeah i don't know how this machine works i can't make the bread hot yeah can you show me how to make a toast i do need directions i am am lost. Yeah. We were going to San Francisco, and the signs are in Spanish. You know, like that type.

Yes. Beat. Yeah. I'm fucked up. I'm sleepy. Yeah. I'm sleepy right now. You know?

You got to say that. Say this to your kid. My dad was so sleepy sleepy and he never told me and i think if i knew i would have understood a lot of what he was only when i falling to sleep dad myself that i found out oh no you're gonna realize that he was sleepy i called him up the other day i called i had talked to him in years i said hey dad i get it now you can go to sleep go to sleep dad i'm sorry i didn't understand but thank you for staying awake for some of the time

and please do go back to sleep now hey i didn't answer i got it was a voicemail but no if we could parlay this into a piece of content get a break a chunk off this dad market and we teach people to become the thotty dotty the waddy way you're the host you're the talent got it kevin does uh he'll email uh a guest every two weeks and uh say that they really want to do the show they're so excited to do it they love the show they want to do it the times we have don't work yes the early 20s are brutal for them yeah you don't have to respond if he either feel free to just never respond it's not a question it's questions too what's there for what's there for me to say when i just

get a little piece of bad news i don't know what i don't know what he wants clearly want something yeah thank you that doesn't seem right i think a long sigh uh is the perfect you know kind of preamble you know i like to hit it off with the and then you readjusting your chair and you get the grunt so they know they know oh oh yeah i'm making him work they go you sure about that you sure about that wow yeah make him yeah make him go back and really make sure yeah yeah and sometimes you know uh they'll be you'll take our bodies you put the pieces in the right place because there's real risk if you don't kind of tend the garden on this stuff certain pieces will become too chunky service it yeah and you just sort of go like well it'll work itself out naturally and it's like well if you're only sleeping on one side or you know if you're doing

certain activities regularly it's going to end up that you got like okay one big foot yeah yeah no you definitely want to just make sure you're utilizing the oils and the things your body's secreting. Because that is just what I like to call overload, you know, because obviously it's looking nice, tight, and thick in that area. That means something's got to come out. Yeah. I got a freezer full of latin oil. Okay. So you want to rub it on the other lat.

Yeah. You want to rub that on it because that's going to give the nutrients to the other lat to let let your body know okay it's dad time you know it's it's dad time you know but you can also cheat it you know these these are some dad hacks okay this is where i'm breaking on now i'm taking finally there i'm stealing the gummy bear. I'm stealing the gummy bear. Now I'm the bad kid, right? Oh, definitely. And I'm ready to go viral behind it. Yes. Yes.

Because, you know, say you're like, I want some bigger quads, though. You know, I'm happy with my lads. You can take that and rub that on the quads. Get some nice thick logs to watch. You know, that's why, you know, a lot of times uh if you look at me my legs are just huge trucks that's where most of my oils went you know i was i was pulling away you know it was like they're like oh man you know i got because i could have been rubbing it on my tummy to get a shredded set of abs you know looking like yeah looking like a regular travante roads

type but i was like no i'm gonna'm going to put these on the quads. I'm going to have these logs. Because I look at it. I saw the video. I saw a video on Twitter years ago about a guy trying to save his dog from a kangaroo. And he punched it. And I've seen another video. The dog?

Thanks for watching my video yeah yeah i and i knew i was like there there might be a time i need to save my child and my best asset are my powerful kicks i took taekwondo uh when i was younger scariest part of it right is training your dog to engage with the kangaroos that you can finally have an excuse to punch those smug motherfuckers. Of course. Of course, because if you just punch a kangaroo. No, if it's just a video of someone walking up and punching a kangaroo, they're the villain.

Yeah, yeah. But if you're saving your dog, you can do whatever you want to that little piece. Now all of a sudden, you got the green light. Yeah, turn kangaroo jack and the kangaroo jacked up you know i'm just gonna i'm just gonna say it because i know i know our we have a kind of a specific audience listener base and most of them thankfully will just just because of how their life and personality is they're not gonna have this situation that we're describing yeah of like having a partner and a child etc but um which is great like that's like great but um for those that do uh i know if he has described like taking this oil and

putting it on your legs make your legs bigger and saying you know you can use it on any body part and i would just really encourage you not to crank down with your lacme oil yeah and see that's the biggest biggest biggest there's a lot of debate yeah there's a lot of debate because some people want to believe that it's going to make that hog huge it's not it's actually an anti-hog huge uh this is sort of the it'll give it it'll give it a bicep oh yeah every yeah no some muscles will develop but yeah it's not going to be what you what you're looking for um so yes please just as a caution and i you know no one would need to tell me that i would know not to do that yeah um uh and i haven't and everything's fine but for other for some of these listeners we got just like

please don't do that but let's just say weirdly that maybe one of us in here has done that would you just like to know some yeah would you like to know some potential remedies uh for maybe if one over somebody, somebody has to get in. Yeah, for maybe a few. Yeah, the antidote. Yeah, you're probably going to get some of that orange oil to clean wood with, and you're going to clean wood with that, your wood, your penis. Yeah.

With that. Yeah. So that's if anyone were to need that. Just with your hand or with a rag. Yes. If he probably knows. It's not the orange oil. It's not Agent Orange.

No. Although that will work as well. Yeah, but to mixed results. Yes. Yeah. Mix everything up. Yeah. Don't buy.

Everything will become very mixed. Yeah. Don't buy. Everything will become very mixed. Don't buy Orangina and just stick it in the bottle. Like, don't do that. You know what I mean? It's just like, don't. I haven't done it.

Yeah. But you go like, isn't this funny? Yeah. Orangina, and you do the whole thing. funny like it's you know yeah yeah you know yeah do the whole thing and then it's like yeah it's not you know the bottle's glass and i want to get kevin working on uh some of the the key art for this i think it i think it's dad hacks i think that's i think that's our name i think it's the logo for the show hacks and i acts yeah i i spray painted dad over i'm i'm standing there i'm finishing spray painting dad over the top part i think i mean it's not out of character i think for deborah vance to be kind of eyes popping out like a some of these dad some of these thotty dotties she's oogling the dads yes she's oogling the thotty dotties

uh i think your host name is maybe gene smart g-e-n-e and then you catch a little of this he everyone's like oh gene smart and maybe smart with two r's maybe smart with two r's to get some of the game of thrones fans oh yeah you got to get those game of thrones fans in there they're they that's a strong user base the fan base they'll they'll support you through thick and thin where i was like thicker yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and yeah and it's and a 3,700 million peoples of just one day. And so, if you average that out

on a week or of a half of a month, what you're dealing with suddenly is a number that's huge so financially that could be really

good yeah thank you yeah extremely for coming to my TED talk yeah right oh yeah i feel like i'm doing one of those sometimes because i'm explaining something yeah you're dropping knowledge there's someone who just stood up off of the rower at the gym they're walking straight to their car how do those fucking

things work well you just get on there and crank it just go crazy yeah that's okay that's what i've been doing but sometimes people walk by and look or they're mad because i'm bumping into them or something yeah and i'm like this is what this is for is you go crazy on it oh yeah i mean i'm trying to like i it's like i imagine that I'm trying to start the world's biggest chainsaw. Like that. And when I'm just like, you know, just go in there. Yeah. And I make the noises with my mouth.

Yeah. They kicked me out. They hit the lunk alarm on me at Planet Fitness. But, you know, that's that's that's what happens sometimes. Iffy. What are what are some shows yeah what's the show um you know um the patient i've been really into that you know yeah you're digging it huh yeah i heard he's peeing really loud yeah he actually is yeah i never thought of it i'm like yeah that man pisses like that's like a piss where like you're definitely gonna bring it up

you're definitely gonna that's a business like hey i'm a we got to talk about that right like you knew you well it's like it's like matt apodaca like yes it's he's basically with mine is the video game cartridges it's probably triggering for you yeah because i hear that loud piss yeah especially because he pisses with his pants all the way down by his ankles so you're yes you're finally a leather jacket a leather jacket man alpaca's bare ass and the loudest crackling piss you can hear just in the acoustics in a school bathroom is nuts yeah why do they make it so loud in there trying to be quiet yeah i've been there to be sneaky yes but i guess you were talking about my shows uh um right uh i don't i don't care yeah if that's what you want to do yeah okay we always ask what are some shows because we can't

get enough of these things but you have shows what it is have you got a show you know even better shows yeah watch grand crew on nbc um which uh you know you can see on the peacock app uh um hawk for jesus save your soul is on there too great great movie uh watch that i've been watching uh the paramount app the challenge uh watch that um yeah those though that's my watch list goodbye oh Bluey the only kids show that doesn't suck if you're choosing to watch it goodbye

Hollywood Handbook that was a hate gum podcast