Hollywood Handbook - Jack Quaid, Our Butt-Kicking Friend

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

The Boys welcome JACK QUAID to the show to learn how to kick some butt. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so i'm crashing smashing the truck only currency and um we're basically like gas is the money the gas has become and that's real and we're smoking that gas as well we're smoking that loud we're hitting the gas and we're uh and we're actually having a lot of fun and cracking up and we're listening to not the grateful dead themselves but this grateful dead cover band called shakedown street okay um and we've got uh a bunch of tapes of their shit and we're playing it and it's in some ways better than the dead and you're smashing oh and we're smashing the truck into the guys into these like neo-futuristic punk

mega you know freakazoid yeah but at the same time you are smoking loud you are getting bankrupt no it's it's a little bit of cognitive dissonance right because yeah inside the truck we are bankrupt we're smoking that loud we're um actually like cheap and so hard we're on easy street and i'm deep in the fucking vibes on shakedown street and they're going, a touch of gray. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a very deep cut. A touch of gray. Yeah, they're doing that one. They're going,

Terrapin Station. And I'm like, oh, yes, this is so good. The Turtle Station. But on the outside, just outside the window, it's actually fairly hectic because we are battling these future punk neoistic neo uh um you know uh

neolithic i think i think the word neonistic right neonistic gothic you know freakazoid yeah dweebies and uh it's just interesting to think about like how those two things can exist at once and the kind of they're very different things yeah yeah yeah yeah being high and and shooting and shoot and blasting and smashing so you know uh but somehow we combined them so anyway that yeah that was my weekend uh hello monday welcome to hollywood handbook this is actually a big this is a big episode i'll say the whole thing we're gonna hollywood handbook and sorry this guy had to kick you by the drum and he has a very covered line i call this industry we call show this we are excited to have uh so let me just say most of the guests that we have on this show are weak just say it they're weak people the guests we have are weaklings they're cowards

um i am ashamed of the guests we often have on the show because they are puny little worms often have on the show because they are puny little worms they get mostly into comedy because they have very like small arms uh and they are babies and they're weak they're genetically fucked and so it's like i guess i better make people laugh because i'm such a worm that anyone could just squish me under their shoe at any time if they want. But today we have really our first guest who is doing big action. This is, it's Jack. Hello. Jack Quaid. Jack. Was I supposed to talk?

Jack Quaid. Jack Quaid. Yeah, you've been Jackade. Oh yeah, I say that all. Have I been formally introduced yet or should I? What do you want us to do? Yeah I think actually we gave you an extremely long introduction. And it was actually very generous.

No I don't know. It's just that oh it was great. It was very generous. You know there's always that thing you know in the beginning of podcasts where like clearly the guest is there in studio. Not always. Not always. Okay. Yeah, I guess not.

We can do the credits. Do you want to do the credits? Let's do them. Hungry Games. Oh, yeah. I was in that. And this is not so much. Well, there's Rampage punching.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't know if I did any punching in Rampage. I'm trying to think. You got punched ran i got took a punch i think i just got scared and ran away at one point what's going on big giant wolf ralph yeah yeah yeah it was uh it was crazy crazy man crazy times uh and maybe the most action-packed show of the last decade in terms of how it's uh

just essentially beating up my brain and my heart with like drama and just being so intense and fucked up and twisted is vinyl where jack is clark yeah you know my character. I think you probably saw that on IMDb. I don't know if anybody really remembers that show. We recorded an entire bonus episode on vinyl, actual vinyl that we have sold at stores. That's sort of an additional episode of the show. Of both our show and of your show. Oh, sweet. Oh sweet oh cool like a little collaboration and you're reigning in richie finestra and uh you're trying to sign alice

cooper and you're just going crazy yeah no that was wow you get then the fucking nasty bits are in there and and they're the next big thing and you can feel it but can they be tamed you know is it worth the risk because these guys they don't want to do what's commercially viable right they just want to fucking chop it up man it's crazy cocaine you know yeah it's uh yeah it's like 70s so yeah no there were they were put it schwack that shit right up the schnozola man that's it and that's and that's how we were back then okay you're back like you froze again for a second i just wanted to make sure you said what you wanted to say about it was something about uh you know it's nothing new i mean nothing new under the sun with this stuff it's just you schwack that shit straight up the schnozola you get a nice big fat chunky fucking goddamn gorilla finger down there on there you chop that line up

you look yourself right in the eye when you get down to the mirror a lot of guys roll up a dollar bill or something like that but you know me i snap a big pen in half take the ink part out use that tube and they just take it straight to the dome it goes into your brain you feel it hit man and when the drip drops down into your throat it's that right kind of bitter man all like fucking letting a smarty dissolve on your actual fucking top of your esophagus there and it's and it's a little tingle down the whole spine and i'll tell you what you walk out after doing one of those babies and you get back from the bathroom into the club and you're ready to dance and now you're actually ready does it need to be a bick

pen i i mean you know you want to try it with a pilot pen be my guest but i don't know where those things are made you know where i've been to the factory okay yeah i've been to the factory in pennsylvania filthy as all get out i mean one of the dirtiest places i've ever been but it's american made the thing's right i think i don't know i don't use them for that but i'll tell you what that tube holds up it could sustain a real beating because sometimes when i'm sorting 10 15 lines in a night my nostril starts convulsing shaking and it squeezes the pen in a way that i i got a feeling a pilot would be leaving shards up in the top of your friggin uh sinuses so i you know my recommendation of course is bic pen but what do you like jack what's the pen you want to use uh to snort yep oh i mean okay uh what do we got on the desk there

yeah what do i have um oh it's a pilot so it's not this isn't good well we don't know shit man i mean you know we don't know go to the factory it's your nose i mean you want to walk through the factory go ahead i could tell you about the big factory do we know. Go to the factory. It's your nose. I mean, you want to walk through the factory, go ahead. I can tell you about the Bic factory. Do we know where the Pilot factory is? Is that also... I've pretty explicitly stated that I don't know where it is. Okay, right, right, right. Is it worth a Google or is it just...

Yeah, are you asking me to look it up for you? No, I mean, I guess my computer's right here. I can do it if you need me to. One thing, that's a click pen, right? Jesus, this guy must be using a little bit of the stuff himself, the confidence. Pilot Pen Factory. That's a click pen, right? Yeah, it's a click.

Like a G2, is that what it is? Is that the G2? Let's see, G2-07. I don't know if that's like the seventh one in the pack. Bold or fine? I don't know if it was made in 07 or if it was Medium? Fine. I think so.

Looks fine. That means it's got a fat tip, the 07. If it was bold I'd know it. Pilot Pen Factory is getting no results in Google Zero results. Zero results. So I don't know. Wow. I guess it's just a mystery.

Oh, wow. The only thing you have to be, if you try it, that has a spring, of course, because it's a big pen. And if you do get too excited and you don't take it out,

you will end up having spring brain. Yeah. It does have a spring. That's not good. Spring brain forever. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

So yeah, you did that. And then we arrive at uh the show that has basically ruined my life and stolen everything that i've built r.i.p my mentions can i say that yeah because it's a whole lot of i thought this was going to be a documentary about Sean and Hayes. Ah. And just the trailer for the boy over and over and over again. The boys, everyone doing it. And I have to watch it all the way through every time. No.

Yeah. Because you guys refer to yourselves as the boys, right? Sometimes. Yeah. Okay. Not every time. But we've definitely done it. And not for a little while. It's our promo code. Mm. Okay. Not every time. But we've definitely done it. And not for a little while.

It's our promo code. No, I've heard that. Yeah. That's kind of a conflict, I guess. Or I don't know. Not for me. Okay. You guys are cool with it?

That's fine? Yeah. We will eventually, in just the long arc arc of history that name will be ours again that's okay like i know that right like when they're like uh dusting off like the relics of society and they read the ancient book of like the way we live now like you know they will they be talking about boys amazon show maybe but not with that name it'll have got it it'll just be called the boys the boys at earth uh amazon superhero show yeah something they'll have to add more like clarifying terms right but you you guys aren't called the like the podcast isn't called the boys it's just

kind of what you guys call yourselves we are a podcast jack right right jack we are the podcast isn't called the boys it's just kind of what you guys call yourselves we are a podcast jack right right jack we are the podcast no right just the podcast doesn't exist independently of haze or i true so and we are the boys i've been i've been longer than you were yeah no i mean right i think so how old are you don't need to think how old are you i'm 28 wish i were 28 oh god kill to be 28 then i could drive a rental car yeah i'm 23 and i am 28 actually oh okay yeah just turned just now congrats yeah happy birthday really no yeah there's no way okay great today you think there's no way it's his birthday i don't know i mean it seems just very i feel like he would have opened with that you know like hey it's my birthday today and i would

have said happy birthday you know i would have been prepared well you were mad about not getting exactly the right introduction no i wasn't mad i just i didn't know i can't imagine sean saying it's my birthday yeah i feel like that would have gone over very poorly with mr ego man over okay look i i it wasn't that i the ego has landed it's not that i it i know okay it wasn't that i didn't get the intro that i wanted i just you kind of left a space and i wasn't sure like oh do i start talking now or word of advice and i saw this on a shirt in las vegas your ego is not your amigo friend that makes sense and friend isn't part of the shirt actually that would be the same kind of redundant yeah so just to get it clean i know hayes likes when i

get things clean the shirt says and it's an open quote your ego is not your amigo close quote so this show okay you are being a major badass and you're beating up foolish bad guys you're basically blowing people up through their assholes yeah that's actually true that actually happens yeah i know that's what he just said right yeah yeah so it's just but it's a good example of like exactly how tough you are in the show where it's like you're basically blasting exploding people they to smithereens they don't even exist anymore they're dead and you're even willing to go in through the asshole to do it i didn't think that'd be part of my life but it's uh it's crazy it's just like uh you know i i didn't realize that i would be known as the guy that man plans yeah and god laughs

exactly you know totally but let's talk about what we really need to do today this is uh you want to make god laugh sure i don't know how you make god laugh tell me you're not gonna blow anybody up through their asshole there you go yeah he'll crack up we'll see he'll say hey jesus check this out check this out get over here look at this fucking chump hey pass that over here man look at this fucking shithead thinks he ain't gonna blow nobody up through their asshole

it's good right oh you got any more of that so today we have something we've actually been meaning to do for a really long time and i've actually explored with almost every other guest who has come out of the show we'll talk beforehand and be like hey we were thinking of doing this thing and so far they have just been too weak and frail uh to actually get the job done so we are gonna do it today we have our producer kevin is here hey jack hey hey kevin thanks for being here yeah no it's uh thanks for having me on this is really fun yeah i know today we are going to beat kevin's ass uh okay that is this is not so this is not a violent show this is not what we normally do on this show and it's something we're only going to have to do once hasn't been traditionally violent but kevin has gotten pretty big for his britches lately and he's been in need of a good

solid pounding and as hayes said none of our other guests were up to the task so we do need you to assist us and we are going to um fix the problem and so today is not so obviously we're doing a pie where this is zoom we're not gonna like actually be beating his ass right now today is mostly about the setup and like creating the circumstances for when the three of us will do this will physically smoke this bitch okay so you're saying that after this podcast is is like this is a rehearsal for like post pandemic post this recording us. Possibly if you want to wait till after the pandemic. I mean, I have some respect for that.

Uh, but it's also like, if we all go, if we all go and get tested at the same time and it comes back clean and we create sort of a kicking Kevin's ass bubble the way the NBA has, I think that could be pretty safe. Mask up, get some gloves,

maybe some boxing gloves and just pound this little twerp wait so why are we i mean kevin seems like a cool why are we why are we doing this it's like a rehearsal you couldn't even finish it what right you couldn't even finish saying that kevin you just told you just on yourself. I didn't tell it. I just said, I don't know. You couldn't even say that he was a cool guy. Right. Well, you said Kevin seems like a cool, and then your brain shut your mouth off. No, it was more so

Jack. Kevin, it's what I'm trying to say is, I mean, you said earlier that we talked about this before the podcast, like, okay, let's we'll beat up kevin or whatever but you you never you're that was the first time i heard it well because like you're like strong like like in other times we'd be like are you do you think you can like physically handle delivering an ass beating okay first class overnight what's interesting do you guys think

that i'm i'm good at kicking ass because there's like action moments in my show is that is that what's going on this is what we have to this is fucking and i'm just gonna let that go i'm just gonna let that one go but i will i do have one piece of advice which is your ego is not your amigo friend right right right so I that is what and this is look I and not to like disparage you or anything but like

this is what we are forced to to deal with at this point like the close options are yes exactly so the options are yes exactly so the options are going another few episodes without kicking kevin's ass or going with the person who has at least been around people that are beating guys up and has like seen it right been like oh okay that that's and those like oh that's one move okay well i don't want to say my show again so

i guess i'll just say like on the boys uh carl urban oh so my show so now we're talking about my show right okay so on the tv show that i am part of the cast of i don't beat the big part yeah i don't really beat where are we on the on the call sheet do you uh two what so who's number one uh carl carl urban's show yeah okay so on carl urban's show i don't do a lot of like kicking ass you know i'm more so the guy that gets beat up or reacting to uh crazy stuff so i don't really have a ton of experience i've never really in my own personal life i've never been in a fight uh so i don't know how well equipped i am i guess now okay it's today the day i guess maybe today's the day like i said we're not going to do it today we are going to plan it today okay so this is so we've just got a everything has to be kind

of arranged and stuff especially because because there is a pandemic. If Hayes was a superhero on The Boys, he'd be Captain Planet. Yeah. Because he's so good at planning things out. Oh, plan it. I get it. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. You said yeah, but just to the... Just the idea of me being Captain Planet for the show. Mm-hmm. That's okay uh kevin you will need to be lying down which way because i get my tummy gets upset if it's down if it's face down face down and then i'm pissed for the rest of the day yeah face down i'm gonna clown this is so yeah kevin has talked about this and this is kind of complicated but he gets sick when he's lying face down because the food in his stomach makes contact

with the back of his belly button which creates this like curdling effect i can't even talk about it it's actually too disgusting it's actually truly horrifying and nauseating and the fact that he understands the sort of physiology of what's happening in there in such a way that he was able to like diagram it for us and we watched him lie down face down one time on on the table the like signed earwolf table whoever bought that um and and you can hear it happening in there. And it's fucking gross, dude. Normally what I have, or I try to have them do, Jack, is put their ear on my tummy

and so that they can hear it kind of moving around. But now you can't. They said I can't do that anymore. Pandemic. Or just in general. They said in general, but they said especially during the pandemic okay are you cool with this kevin are you you're you're fine with uh i don't know

a rehearsal of a future i like to think of it as a dress rehearsal because we're all like we look we're probably wearing the clothes we're gonna wear for it okay kevin knows he's not doing a good job and when you don't do your job you can get this work okay wait so so he's gonna lie down and then then what apparently apparently he's gonna lie down soup on my back soup's on lying down on your can you lie on your side can you like curl up on your side a little bit yeah we could get you a hugger like a huggy pillow i start to feel it a little bit so it depends how long i'm on my side it would actually be probably be good for you to throw up before this so maybe that is maybe that is a good idea okay so you lie on your side like any stinky food that makes me throw up fast kevin you know you have and we're not gonna give

you more stinky food see this is exactly what like this is what i'm talking about he's even this is an opportunity for like oh what can i get out of this oh maybe i can add to my limitless already supply of stinky food what do you mean by stinky food? Exactly. Don't encourage him. I just want to. I'm glad you asked. You can normally see the smell on it. You ever see a cartoon where you can see the lines like the based on real life, Jack? Yeah.

Yeah. So would be good. Maybe if you could get in a shopping cart, if you could be lying on your side in a shopping cart so we could just kind of gently you live in an upstairs unit right yeah the closet or crawl space i always mix those up yes and it's stairs go is it stairs or an elevator going down uh it's a flagpole oh god that's right i forgot now just on the way up because we do need to plan it pretty delicately how many of your like stinky food soldiers are we going to encounter on the way kevin has this like group of cronies that he's been quarantining with called the gross out gang okay they're like or is it are you going by the yucky bunch now i know you

were deciding between we just we just changed to the yucky bunch yeah okay so anyway he kind of like fashioned these like frankenstein like soldier things out of all his stinky foods and i don't know i i don't i'm not like a tech guy like i don't know how he's animating them but they do kind of basic judo moves and so forth uh and okay we are going to encounter that we are gonna have to beat them up i mean luckily like you don't have to feel bad about destroying them or anything and they're just they're just it's just food it's just stinky food okay yeah yeah in like in i mean i guess the yogurt's alive or whatever. Again, I'm not like a science guy.

I don't know exactly how that works. Like the bacteria? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. It sounds like you know more than I do about it. I just said the word bacteria. That's kind of where my knowledge stops.

All right. Okay. So the Yucky Bunch, they are, are i guess human shaped uh cronies um they're like beast shaped i mean okay yeah so they don't have like arms like two arms two legs sometimes they're like four legs yeah uh yeah they're all different kinds you know there's like one like kind of creepy like spider one that you know crawls around and then there's like sort of like a panther made of like old like cheese and like uh magazines and stuff okay all right so we're gonna go in there we we we take care of the yucky bunch and then is kevin kind of like the final boss at the end? Kevin will be, yeah, the final boss, except like lying down.

Okay. And so we will either he'll be already in his shopping cart or we load him inside it and we push the shopping cart, I guess, through the hole. Will it fit through the hole that the pole is in? I'll have to get a smaller shopping cart. It's pretty big. It actually kind of defeats the purpose of having a fireman's pole there's a big distance between like the edge of the hole and the pole itself so a lot of time you do end up just like kind of falling in

and getting up is like basically impossible well you got to jump to the pole yeah that's so you like kevin when i've seen kevin do this he usually ends up glancing off it just and then maybe he just like bounces off and and stays on the upper floor or maybe he gets kind of like hooked on to the edge of the hole for a second and then drops down below but he'll get down. Right. And then at some point, I guess we do have to throw a shoe at him like random task. From Austin Powers? That's interesting.

You know him from Austin Powers. Is he from something else? No, that's just kind of like a mainstream uh project no that he did yeah if that's like your main experience with him then i think you should i know i'm from i see and that's so funny i thought you were an actor and stuff and like new sort of like classic have you seen in the company of men uh no actually i haven't seen that okay so yeah it's labute and it's uh it's it's eckert and it and it's actually um it's really powerful uh exploration of kind of toxic masculinity but random task is is um in there he plays a bathroom attendant in one of the scenes but he's like uh

does he throw in there yes he does throw a shoe yeah okay but he's being helpful okay he's like he throws it on onto a guy's foot so in the company of men uh is that because it's random sorry because it is random task uh is it in the that's okay is it in the uh is it in the austin powers universe see this is so interesting to me so in your mind all the roles that you have played you are the same guy no that's not what i'm saying i'm saying right because you're saying random task is austin powers no no you're saying from vinyl is doing the hungry games that's not what it's called uh but what i'm what i'm saying is no i'm not saying that i think all the parts that's not what it's called okay well all right uh you know what i'm trying to say like random task the character is is in the company of

men an extension or a sequel to austin powers look you don't have to worry about any of this okay you don't have to worry about any of this all you have to do he's not even there we're just throwing a shoe like he does right right it's just a common reference point it doesn't matter and all you have to do is if i miss just go get it and bring it back okay and i'll do it again so I don't have to beat up Kevin because I have mixed, like very mixed feelings on that. No, you do absolutely have to beat up Kevin. Oh, you're going to cream his ass.

Yes. I just don't. Kevin's toast, man. I mean, Kevin, you're smiling. You seem like this is. That's not at you. Sorry? I have a mirror behind the screen oh okay are you

so you're smiling practicing his smile he's been practicing his smile during all of these episodes lately and it's so you're i mean you're right to point it out it's part of the reason we want to beat his ass is for some reason he believes if he perfects his smile, if he somehow develops the perfect smile, that he will get a promotion or something's going to happen for him, but it's all he works on and he won't have to do this anymore, he says. But we're hoping that part of beating his ass will also be knocking out at least one of his teeth.

And Kevin, again like i just need to hear like i'm okay with this i encourage it yeah okay i kind of asked for it a little bit all right i mean i don't know i still feel kind of weird about he is just saying that he is saying that to get us to stop and he will be trying to like kiss our feet and elbows as we are absolutely just laying in him pounding his ass so it's a it's a clever technique but since we're aware of it then it's just not going to happen and his happy meal ass will be kicked all the way up and down main street by yours truly and by of course jacquard and my friend hayes and nothing will stop us and at the end of it kevin's gonna have them summer teeth. Meaning one tooth is out?

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of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long. How many add-ons and what are some of them? It's one big add-on and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal. The promises the meal makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah.

Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do it's supposed to help you stay fueled up I know give you a ton of energy they have like smoothies and things like that reservation for two me walking in my bedroom what's the second it's you and your bed

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like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent

that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot lot. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Hollywood handbook. So we threw a shoe at him.

We threw him down the fire bits pole. We are doing Muayai kickboxing on him what else what have you learned what's something from your movies what's something that uh that ralph did in rampage movie is there any moves that he taught you ralph the wolf yes okay uh i don't think i ever actually had a scene with uh with ralph i think i mostly interacted with the uh george is the big uh ape gorilla um no i didn't no i don't i you know i hate to because i do we do have to yeah kevin's candy corn yeah yeah but you gotta go to set you just gotta be on set yeah right you know it's so important be indispensable yeah right right right right because you never

know when they go like whoa hang on like actually it would be pretty cool if ralph met jack your character in that was like piddlebutt or something like what was sure piddlebutt that's and he said he's just running away right yeah i'm just running away but i'm not running away from yeah i mean i could i think we had maybe like a guy doing kind of like an and circus type thing. But they go, Oh, it'd be cool for Ralph to meet this guy. You know, like the director just gets an idea by seeing you two chopping it up at crafty. Right,

right, right. Um, no, I mean, that never happened. I just kind of went in the days that I was called and, uh,

uh, yeah, I guess I should have met everybody, but we're telling you that you fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. That's what this conversation is. The rat and then you send it you send an email afterwards you're like ralph oh god it's like so awesome we're wish we had more scenes together bro

like but we gotta do something together you know and now he has like a positive association with you even guys like ralph like they like hearing that they did a good job no totally no he did a great job you think they're like above it or something right but actually he's still just a guy i mean he's a dog but he's a guy yeah yeah yeah and he's just as insecure as you or me yeah totally i mean can i like on the show right now can i can i praise can i kind of give him some sort of praise yeah what was it like working with ralph it was great it was great working with ralph um you know i think he you know he bared his teeth uh he ran around he ate some guys uh it was very fierce very um did he punch in through a window and like pull out something and eat it? I think he grabbed the guy out of a helicopter midair.

You know, he jumped up and took some. I think he had like porcupine spikes on him to shout out of his shot out of his back. So, you know, really impressive all around, Ralph. And if you're listening, a big fan of your work, we should do something together. Nice. Yeah. Nice. Do you guys do shout outs on this?

Is that okay? We let people basically send any email that they want via this podcast. Got it. If you just have an email that you need to send, you can just say it here and then we'll just get it to the right people. You can't respond to an email

on the show, but you can start a new chain on the show. Got it. Kevin will get it there yeah do you need anything you need sent out right now while we have anything going down what's up uh yeah i think uh have you been in touch with your reps during all this craziness yeah a little bit i'm sure they'd love to hear from you yeah we can we can we can just say hi say you know uh tell them just a check-in right yeah yeah these are people too they've got families so you know they must be worried about you sure i mean i could ask them how they're doing too and you know because i just hope everybody's

safe right now and uh you know trying to tell you who it wouldn't hurt to email, speaking of the boys, Seth and Evan. I could email that, yeah. Seth and Evan. Hey, just watch a pickle movie. Good pickle. It's a great pickle movie. Hey, oh, the pickle.

Say, oh, the pickle movie. That pickle is so funny. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Something like that goes a long way. You think? Mm-hmm. I hope so hope so kevin will turn that into

something kevin's got the basic idea of it i do that i photoshop a photo of you eating a pickle and then it says like just kidding just kidding just kidding okay yeah that'd be great i only do my work on reddit though so it's gonna be are they on reddit yes is seth on r-reddit or r-seth and evan i can you know i can just email them myself if you want i don't you don't need to are you so what you're saying is kevin's got it kevin's actually going to be making a delivery already because i actually do have something that i need uh sent as well uh and it is um do you have a pen, Kevin? Yes. It is a... Wait, Vic or Pilot? It's just a pen.

This is just for writing. Okay, then Pilot. It is one ass-beating, care of Kevin's ass, first class overnight delivery, one ass street, and it's your ass kicking your ass and it's my ass kicking my ass so he he makes both deliveries of like mail and also email yeah it's all yes yeah yes it's all via ready you can do everything on reddit now kevin tells me and i always i always deliver that's what i say okay so what else uh uh ralph ate some guys can't definitely can't eat kevin oh you're you're it'll fuck him up oh okay yeah

you're taking suggestions from ralph uh yeah just like stuff that he did different kinds of punching that he did he didn't punch so much as he bit and howled. And again, like porcupine spikes in his fur or something. Okay, well, we're obviously not going to do that, Jack. So like we can skip over that. Right. Let's see. What's happening on the fucking Star Trek thing? Oh, right.

It's a cartoon. What do you like it's it's it's out right now is there anything we can use on that i don't yes okay oh we got yeah we got like phasers on that you know there's the uh vulcan neck grab that's not really on our show that's more of a spock thing from the original series but um that's like a physical move that kind of knocks people out you just grab them you grab them you have your two fingers and you kind of pinch uh where their neck meets their shoulder and then it's not really the neck something about the yeah i guess not uh but then something about the pressure i guess knocks them out what is that part what is that part right because it's not the neck you know what i mean but it's

not your shoulder either uh what are we calling that fellas what is that part that is like not the neck and it's not the shoulder like what are we calling this now you know that was sound off 2020 sound off with it yeah tweet it kevin and let him know like hit him with a hashtag hell tell jack you know because he can run it up the chain to the some of the stars some of the star guys he works with i would just i don't know i would just call it like lower neck or like uh again it was a call to action for our listeners so right it's best if you don't solve it today on the show got it so what are some other kevin like what are some of your favorite heroes from history oh wow just really drive the message home i would love to use some of your idols favorite moves against you patrick star from from spongebob no no see this is so interesting that like

it's just so funny i really thought i just said like why did you get into doing this that like and again we don't seem to like that yeah right well i don't know i was again is it like a strange task thing where he was in i don't know it's actually the the actor's name is random task rando task what was patrick star in before spongebob you're heavenly creatures the neighbors i was saying your friends and neighbors um uh there's a monologue that Jason Patrick gives about some childhood locker room

antics and Patrick Starr just walks he's in a restaurant Patrick Starr walks up to the table and goes to he goes to refill the water and then he sort of hears the content of what's being discussed he goes like oh uh maybe i'll come back later actually and he kind of tiptoes backwards it sort of doesn't match the tone of the scene honestly

but um right at any rate it's like a good you know it it is a good performance for what it is i probably would have cut it out in the movie is he a pink starfish that matters to you uh yes okay it's just like kind of a weird thing to ask but uh yeah he is so is that good or bad to you i think i'm just i think i'm just not i'm kind of confused on because you say random so the actor's name is random task and his character's name is random task okay so he appeared he appeared in austin powers and in the company of men as himself is what you're saying yes and he was in uh jersey vera drake okay okay as is patrick star in in a few appearing as himself in spongebob and also friends patrick's so no patrick star no is not himself in as as sean just said he is water

man well it's good yeah i mean you do associate him because of the water, I guess. But like, I mean, they're both in the shape of things. You mean the shape of water? No, I understand someone did just say water, but that there is actually. Now we're saying different a different word which is things this is another neil labute actually okay yes it's paul rudd uh is it rachel weiss yeah yeah um he's sort of you know paul is uh kind of being changed or changing himself throughout

this relationship uh gretchen mall uh fred weller it's four kind of college friends and they're um it's about relationships about your friends how your friends change when they start dating someone and uh how much kind of power uh an intimate romantic relationship can have over you and and you you know your identity and all that but patrick star uh plays like an art curator um he doesn't play it goofy he doesn't overplay it but he is always knocking over the art and he is he is usually slipping on it afterwards. And Random Task is his security guard in the same museum. There's like a sort of art piece thing to it.

And he's often left to clean up the mess that Patrick makes. But it's subtle. It's done tastefully. Okay. Now, I've never seen that movie. I guess I got to see see it can i ask a personal question for to jack uh yes okay this kind of spoils a little bit of the boys but when the big death scene happens do you know what i'm talking about uh the big the like whoa yeah we have a few

of those but uh i think i know which one you're talking about the one in the beginning yeah vague yeah sure was that scary uh yeah and yeah yeah it was it was kind of a you know it was a big day it was like my second day on set and um you know it it was kind of an emotional day as well because uh's a character that really matters a lot. Okay, thank you. That's all I wanted to know, yeah. Okay. Thank you, though.

Yeah, yeah. You know what I do when I want to watch a fun animated comedy? What? You probably want me to watch Star Trek, but instead I start wreck at Ralph. Oh, cool. Yeah, I like that movie. Yeah, I do too.

That's why he starts it. Right, right. That's a really good movie. Is that the same Ralph? Oh, to my knowledge, no. But I've been wrong twice today. So, we still have a lot.

So we have to, first of all, obviously, we have to first of all obviously we have to beat Kevin's ass to completion is there like a final we've like barely done anything to him you got like one shoe thrown at me did go down the stairs or down the fireman's pole in a

shopping cart I'm starting to wonder if it's a mistake and honestly I'm starting to wonder if we should be enlisting kevin to help us beat jack's ass uh i mean just based on how this has gone right well i mean kevin does have like an army of stinky food. I don't really have that. The gross out gang. Yeah. Honestly, if you guys beat me up, that would be closer to what the reality of the boys is. Tell me if you think this is okay. One of the members of the gross out gang is named Loogie CK. Okay.

And Kevin tells me that that's okay because he's like gross. Uh-huh. That that's all right. But he is also like friends with these guys and they are like protecting him. Oof. That's uh. That was a lot. Yeah.

No kidding. You're asking me if that's okay. Is it okay for one of the members of Kevin's reanimated army of stinky food to be named loogie ck um i'm i'm just gonna go ahead and say no probably yeah it's not really when was when was the character named was it uh like six months ago oh so full knowledge of everything that he's done. I'm going to go ahead and say no. One of them is named Grist D'Elia. I don't know.

When was he named? Like five years ago. Last week. You texted me when you changed it. You were so happy with it. So, okay, since we're on this train of thought what are what are the other names of the of the yucky bunch because it just seems like they're all people that got jeff ross i mean it's spelled gross but it's pronounced gross okay yeah

there's woody smelling not even doesn't even really yeah rhyme that well i'm gonna i'm gonna go ahead and say because it seems like you you named all of these uh yucky bunch people kind of the day you found out about their misdeeds like the real person's misdeeds so it feels like rv wine slime is one okay yeah you have to re you have to rename all of them because this is just uh yeah you have to rename every it's just kind of a bad taste at this point the whole gross out gang yeah he renamed the gang to the yucky bunch but he didn't change any of their individual names which were like the offensive part so we told him you have to change the name and then he like found a workaround i mean could you just change it to like okay like with loogie ck could you just

change it to like who's another famous louie loogie loogie armstrong or you know something like that kind of disrespectful to name a member that's fucked up gross okay all right louie yeah yeah um maybe there's like a middle of the road louis who like i mean there aren't that many out there louis uh louis anderson okay yeah i guess you could do louis anderson he's cool that's a little disrespectful but i'm not trying to disrespect i'm just saying if you got to rename if you got it you were the one that decided to not you but kevin you were the one that decided to name all these gross uh food monsters after uh predators so i'm just saying they named themselves they okay oh okay that changes things i think yep huh i'm just all around uh uncomfortable by uh this whole the whole venture really yeah yeah

all right well do you want to do you want to say hi to you know your parents or any special lady in your life or anything before we get going we're gonna have to go to the bathroom okay so that the we're almost done usually people yeah you know usually people at the end say hi to like people they love. Yeah. Yes, talk to their parents. If there's like a, you know, if there's a special lady or guy or, you know, anybody, if they're budding.

Siblings are like a great teacher. Solidified. Oh, yes. A teacher that was really special to you. Okay, I'll say hi. Or your reps. We talked about your reps if you want to yeah right they're already getting emailed but if you want to say hi to them i just started using wordpress if you're there they seem cool okay if you want to say hi to wordpress you want to shout

out to wordpress and if you want you it's just. Well, if you guys give me the option of someone, like a romantic partner, so I'm just going to say hi to my girlfriend, Liz. Been together for like five years now. It's crazy. I love you so much. Yeah. Love is like, it's just like, it's honestly,

It's just like, it's honestly, and I'm getting like, love. Go off. Go off. Love is like, God, and just thinking, just thinking this. Just thinking this. Go off. I love this. Yes. Yes thinking this. Go off. I love this. Yes. Yes.

Go off. Love is like. Love, love, love if I could. Yeah, yeah. More than like even. It's the total. It's it. Right.

It's. It's exact. I mean, you know, it's why total it's it right it's it's exact i mean you know it's why we even like ah love no thank you jack that really brought it all home for me man yeah yeah that was a nice reminder for me okay yeah uh well again i have to and i and like i don't want to like yeah and i don't like nothing like weird or anything but like it would be great just like if you could go kiss her that would be great uh nothing weird you know but right right yeah usually if after the people do the show they go kiss their their girlfriend or whatever.

No. Promise me you're going to do that. Yeah. I'm going to probably do that. That's a promise. Okay. Yes. Bye.

Sure. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.