Hollywood Handbook - Jake Johnson, Our First Close Friend

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

The first Hollywood Handbook guest JAKE JOHNSON returns to ask The Boys what went wrong and to do press for his pilot. Also, check out all the shows The Boys are adding to their Patreon (including The Pro Version) at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast huh right you remember this remember from the forever ago and is it's all coming back what does this feel like you know like are like, are you guys doing what I am? We kept it the same for you. The nostalgia and the modern feel, but also the classic feel of like, whoa, this is really happening.

And nothing has changed. It's all the same. It's the same exact stuff you love, but it's even better. And we have here, just like always, a big star guest like for every episode we've done it's exactly like it was nothing leaving earwolf did not hurt us at all we can still get the same type of guys these guys you like you, these like these guys, they you know, know what I'm. Come on.

Yeah. Know what I'm talking about. These kind of guys where you go like, holy shit. Yes. This guy. Okay. I see you. Okay.

Player. Yes. Pimp. Go off. He's here. And it's the same guy that we had it's our first new episode not doing earwolf we have the same person we did from our first episode with earwolf and jake is back and jake hello jake what have you been doing yo yo yo it's great to be home it's great to be home do it jake just go man what have you go, man. What have you been doing, man? Shit.

What have you been doing? Seven years? Guys, it's been about maybe longer than seven years. You sent me an email saying seven, and I wanted to say not a chance. It's been about nine. Yeah. And I'll tell you what, seven would make sense because I think right after we recorded, I broke a mirror, and it's pretty bad luck to not have had you back on to do to do the show to do the show with us yes you know but nine made nine two could have been maybe i blocked under a ladder after. So Sean, I got a question.

I'm looking at you. Hit me. What happened to that long hair, baby boy? You know what happened? The pwn zone? Yeah. Last thing I saw your face, we were playing poker late at night and I saw a ponytail. And I was deep in the pwn zone.

Yeah. And we have talked about this a little bit. The ponytail broke. It was shattered. It was shattered. And I showed up at Hayes' house at midnight, and I just had all the little ponytail bits in my hand, and I held them up to the door, and I said,

could you fix it? I said, can you fix it? Can you fix it? So that happened. It was really sad. Is the dynamic with you guys in the last nine years, has it turned more into Hayes is the dad, Sean's the rebellious baby boy, Kevin's not part of it,

but he's the creep who watches during Zoom. But is that what I'm stepping into? It was always baby daddy, but those roles have been so much more clearly defined. But it was subtle baby daddy. It was maybe you guys were, I don't know, flirting with the idea, but now it feels like you're a baby and it feels like Sean you're a father so it feels like less baby daddy and more

I think he's reversed Hayes is daddy Hayes is the father and I've become even more of a baby yes so the show has actually evolved and we talk about this every week. Like,

how do we like, like you always have to stay in motion, right? You can't just like stay in this business. So I would say that I had this. Come on. Right. No,

say it. So I would say that I have become sort of a bigger daddy, uh, like a nicer, but like big and like stronger daddy and sean has become a much smaller baby and i actually there have been full episodes where i fell down the i got sucked into the shower drain because i was so tiny so can i and they had to fish me out with a coat hanger yeah i'll ask you guys a question because obviously i respect the fuck out of your guys's

game and strategy holy damn hearing that is there echo in here because of from what i am what i was thinking in my brain and now it's an echo in here come on right because this king i look at him and i respect his game so hard for him to say that to me yes yes i want to say yes queen but i don't mean that disrespectfully i'm just trying to say like i'm it's bad to say don't do it don't do it yes king it's really bad i mean it bad i take it back uh don't say it if you don't have it kev kev my guy cut all that shit out for me or i cannot sign any clearance i do not want anything bad coming from jake ej because i'm out here playing chess not checkers back to the question to you two. I am seeing Hayes, your father, Sean, you are baby son in a great way.

When you guys decided to define that, how has that affected your business strategy and the way your legion of fans see this podcast? How and why? Well, business wise, I can't have an ID an id driver's license i can't really have a bank account even yet hayes has given me a bunch of savings bonds in my name um so that those i'm just waiting for them to mature but uh so business-wise it's been it's put a lot on hayes's shoulders obviously and a lot in his pocket Daddy has to go on a trip a lot. Daddy is out of town doing business for the podcast. Daddy, you know, and sometimes with Daddy is Home,

we're going to have pizza. For sure. Okay? No, it's true. We're not going to have like a whole dinner. Daddy forgot vegetables. Yes. Oops.

But here's my question. Why? That's my question. Why? That's so strong. What are you talking about? Because it leaves me real. What are you talking about? I see clearly now the dynamic. He's a haze.

You are his father. And apparently outside of the podcast, Sean doesn't have a bank account because of this. It's been a challenge. And sometimes apparently you go out of town hazing and you order him pizza. I know that you guys are the Bobby Fishers of podcasts. You're out here chess and I'm

wondering, did this guy watch the Queen's Garment? And when you did, you said I'm playing chess and they're playing checkers. You did it with both hands. When you were illustrating it physically. He was moving multiple pieces at the same time, which is impossible to defend against.

And almost no one does it. Because I'm playing six games at once. And that's what you got to do in 2020. You need six projects. So if I'm going to play one game of chess against bobby fisher i'm gonna lose but if i'm playing 10 games against babies i'm gonna win and that's the difference and that's 2020 and that's and as a baby that's not disrespectful at all to me i could say like and baby fisher is who we call when sean goes down the storm

i'm as likely to put the horse piece in my mouth as i am to move it in a proper when Sean goes down the storm drain. I'm as likely to put the horse piece in my mouth as I am to move it in a proper L shape. And honestly, genuinely, those are the kind of people I love to play chess against. Because if you don't know the rules, because I don't know how to finish in chess. I don't know how to do the moves to kingmet you. Oh, yeah.

Thank you so much. How does this... What happens now? Like I get the pieces are there, but then what? I know what most of the pieces do, but to say, I need to go three moves in advance to finish a game.

There's just not a chance. I know how to do that. So if my opponent is eating the pieces at a certain point, I say you're disqualified because you're cheating. And that's a victory for me if I'm playing against Bobby Fisher he's gonna say at a certain point I'm not sure you know the rules and I'm gonna say stop it you know so I want nine other games going at the same time so I can tune him up if that makes sense it's interesting that this the spectrum for you is so polarized, where you're either playing

Grandmaster Bobby Fischer or a baby, and you're really not ever encountering just a run of the mill, just like a player at the park or something. Yeah, Sean, that's a great point. And the last thing I want to get into right now in 2020 is politics. So I'm not going gonna go deeper into that but thank you I respect respect I would actually say I would love for you to get into it just a little bit because like you're as we were talking about before the show your fans do I think expect a certain level of you know you don't you like you don't have like a regular platform you know you're not like

you know like you you you parcel it out very deliberately and here we go yes this is actually what i want going over the headphones it's a lot harder to do with the headphones but and so that's heaven making you not safe because he insisted on these i mean honest to god in 2020 the things that we just have to think about is like i love to go swimming in my pool and you know also there's a quarantine in effect i don't want to be annoying i feel like i should say this will be our first episode of 2021 you've just referenced 2020 eight or nine times you know in the first few minutes and i not something we thought we would have to come up as much say in advance, but in retrospect, that's our fault. So this is coming out in 2021.

This will be the first. Yes. I didn't know that when I got the emails from Kev. So that's cool. That is different. Okay. And your energy

now is Kevin earlier today. Can I is very scary. Kevin, earlier today, can I tell you something that Kevin was saying earlier, like before we got on the stream? Kevin was like, he didn't respond to my email. I just... And I was like, okay. I wanted to make sure you were okay. He thought I was going to be furious like what no your email kevin this

injustice must be righted like i was gonna white knight all right well this is off first of all this record is is over kevin i gotta say something please so what's happened in i was gonna say 2020 but but now I'm sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. Wow. Let's get one more. We can do this one, but maybe after this. What's happened in 2021 is a lot of the opportunities that have happened have now taken place in a bedroom like this where somebody will call up and say, hey, do you want to do this? And that sounds fun.

And what I have learned is... That's what she said. Do you want to do this? That sounds fun. And opportunities in a bedroom like this. The entire thing. She said all of it. She was talking for a minute straight.

Going all the way back to the beginning of the podcast it all works she was saying she she correct herself she almost said 2020 she stopped herself said 2021 it's dead there has been a lot of back and forth technical emails i've had to do as well as certain things will like send over a box of equipment they want you to use. And then there are two people who want to walk you through the box of equipment. And then later that night, we'll like Sean will or we'll play like a poker game and we all zoom and it's fine. So I'll get something being like, hey, at 2 30 do you mind uh jimmy walking you through this box of wires and i'm like for a zoom yeah i think i'll just hit the zoom button so it's not personal yeah

it's not personal none taken none taken i respect that man thank you thank you yeah respect king thank you sir thank you king well jake what something's happening here. I'm thinking back to, like, the first episode we did. I don't remember it. I don't. I remember hearing the theme song for the first time. That was the first. Wow. That was my first exposure to it was live.

Yeah. And I'm thinking, like, this is not, like, this is bad. This is pretty bad. We should change this. But it was stuck. The music got stuck in that episode. So that's what we've had. It was stuck the music got stuck in that episode it was stuck in the machine and we've never gotten it out

we've never replaced the machine I remember something about that episode and I would maybe like I don't remember it in detail but there's a zone that I remember and I would like to know if maybe you guys want to try it again you guys were talking about what you liked about New Girl if you remember and one of

you said something about uh like schmitty's house or something mr schmidt and then you know i just started wondering if maybe you guys hadn't seen the show so i asked you guys to do it well and all these years later you know the show... So now that the show's over, we've completed it. I was wondering if you guys, if there was any inspiration you would have to do a scene of you. Of Mr. Schmidt.

So I would love to because we got deep into this show. After also hanging out with you and hearing more about it, I was like, okay, it's time to do a deep dive. Yeah,'d had this very surface experience of like watching some of the episodes but then i really immersed myself in it especially hanging with you and hearing how passionate you were and so we said it's time to go bing mode on this show and being the entire thing all at once and so like i would yeah sure sean well i mean like the question is like which

one do we do which scene that's the problem is i binged it so hard that like it's all this big mush like it's just one story i think we talked about maybe in the in the last episode we did the episode where uh the girl thought that her car was the washing machine yep and she tried to do the like her washer clothes in the car yeah but we can't do that one but you were gonna throw something but you were gonna throw something out jake go ahead and hit me were you gonna say the girl's washing machine car or was it i was gonna say if if there's a chance in the scene for one of you guys to also recap like what happened with the whole show and all your favorite characters arcs okay I don't

so Hayes who's your favorite character and what was your favorite arc of theirs Mike I loved when he so when Mike came back from war that was so scary that was really really scary and because

he says that he he says that he knows that they're that he's not at war anymore but you can tell yeah he's looking around and he's he's shooting people i thought that was really powerful and and mike's a great answer and to take nothing away from that. For me, it probably is Mrs. Gorefield. And, and when Gorefield and Mrs.

Gorefield, you know, it was a powerful, it was a powerful scene when they die. Yeah. In the, it was a powerful it was a powerful scene when they die yeah uh in the it was a i can't remember if it was a submarine or if it was like a flower pot it was like yes perfect when they die i remember i turned to either my wife or my dad. And I just went like, no, that's Mr. Schmidt. Can I tell you something that's crazy about that moment?

No. That moment was watched by more people than the finale of MASH. Come on, just that part? Just that. That scene, when Mike and Mrs. g died on a submarine has been this is a crazy fact has okay so this is actually a reveal like breaking news behind the scenes reveal because also i think what sean was saying what i thought too that it was gorefield and mrs gorefield who

died at the submarine well go, Gorefield was Mike. But Mike was in a Gorefield costume as well. I think that if you're watching close, all the hints are there. Agreed. Well, it's also they're played by twins. So every actor in New Girl has an identical twin like the youngest kid in Full House. Because you got to go to class. Yeah, we had to go to school.

When we booked that show, we were all under 13 to class yeah we had to go to school we were all when we booked that show we were all under 13 so we all had to go to school not only that they ran some crazy hours up there so after 14 hours when i started that show i was eight years old i i was tired so my twin brother came in and did the rest of it so we all had twins they were uh zoe was four little kids quads or whatever yeah and one of them was a boy wow so they had three little girls and one little boy i think that's i think to me that's normal yeah and that's actually i'm like what are you even so that's an interesting news to me that's not even interesting news i'm pissed that you said it uh kevin will you cut out all the stuff

i said about the twins and stuff yes sir thank you King I want that out I don't even like that I said it yes sir but you brought up Zoe and you sort of alluded to her extraordinary playlist what is that

you know it's extraordinary yeah it's the kind of music that makes you in the middle of the day jump out and do a song and a dance with everybody in the office when every once in a while when i'm with everybody in the office when every once in a while when i'm you know his playlist it's just i'll be at work and the cute girl will walk by and i don't know what the fuck is going on but something i just are singing la bomba yeah but not only that here's what's crazy because this has happened a lot it's fully choreographed but but we've never practiced it. Never discussed it, never practiced. Wow. Yeah. And it's a feeling I can only describe.

It's an out-of-body experience. It's not enjoyable, but it's like something takes me over and I'm in it. And I've done it before. I've had 40 people behind me doing it too. I don't know what the fuck is going on. And the second it's over, we look at each other and we're all like, this list is extraordinary.

So it's cool. It's good. And it's bad. It's good. And it's bad. It's been a really difficult thing for me because my body does things. And my voice does things that I'm not in control of. I mean,

you're entering Beetlejuice mode. Yeah. And it's, it's not honest to God, it's scary. And it's really dark. It's the, you know, it's black magic kind of shit. And I'm not interested in it, but I'm locked into this playlist now

and I don't know my way home. I wouldn't put it past the Beetlejuice man to be involved. You know, because he has been known to be something of a prankster. And when you say that you're at work trying to get through your day, that's just the kind of time he would strike. And if I could, if I could, Sean, if I could just say the word three times and he shows up and it was as simple as that, I would pray to the heavens and I would thank everything powerful, but it's, it's so much deep. Look, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.

Yeah. That's how you summon him. Yeah. And unfortunately with this this i never know what it's going to be i'll be at the fucking post office man and all of a sudden it's a four minute thing you actually never have to go there again with stamps.com so it would be great if i guess our guests were not talking about how they love to go to the post office when actually how we make our money is by advertising a product

that says that going to the post office is not cool. I mean, it's fine. Right. But it's not like cool. It's lame. Going to the post office is lame now in 2021? And you don't have to do. I remember in 2020, a lot of us were trying to really stand with the postal workers.

And I remember, you know, buying stamps at that time. I guess a long time ago in 2020 was a pretty cool thing to do way back then. It is buying stamps. It's on the computer. They don't say exactly how it works. I don't know how it works. But it is a company. So I don't

want to buy my stamp from a website. I would like to buy it from the United States postal workers. And it might actually be that. It might be the same. It could be. But here's what I'm afraid of.

They give you a scale. This is no disrespect. I don't want that shit being made overseas. If I'm going to buy a stamp for here in the United States, and I am not against overseas, but I want my stamps to be American. Okay? And I think that, and I don't think,

I'm not trying to get political. It's 2021 now, where you turn over overcompensate but i didn't mean to i'm just saying you don't have to right it's whatever year then i guess is what i'm trying to say yeah it's whenever you guys want it could be bringing up the year less is the solution rather than correcting which one you say i just feel like that. Okay. So... I'm not trying to censor you, Jake. I mean, you're going to be you no matter what. If you think you're helping us, you're not.

No, but here's what I'm saying. I feel weird. Obviously, I need to hand sanitize in the era that maybe happened during this podcast or maybe this is like May and we've all been vaccinated so for me as a performer as for me as an artist um i need all the information so i can truly shine and what i've been given is kids headphones uh i do not have a good hair person or i have a great

hair person and i don't know the date you know so is this 2021 is it may fuck guys you're should we focus on should we focus on the stuff that we like did kind of arrange beforehand you're here to promote a really exciting project i mean which i'm i'm so excited about thank you yeah me too all jokes aside i very, very excited about it. We watched it. We love it. I do have some questions about how you want to handle this. Yeah, so I'll just give the pitch if that's cool.

Okay. Sure. So it's a show called Habata that Apple has picked up. We're working with Anna Perno, which has been an amazing studio. Michael Showalter. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of him. Oh, my gosh. He's producing it.

It's a mockumentary slash documentary, but we want the tone to be really grounded and realistic. It's directed by Josh Greenbaum, who is my favorite documentarian. Wow. And it's about a fictional cult that we're trying to play as real as we can so that you have the experience of watching a documentary even though it's fictional so we shot the pilot we're really excited about it and yeah this thank you guys for watching it jake it's so powerful yes and i would say you put all the ambitions you were talking about like making it feel as real as possible but also funny totally like it's it's like an absolute home run my question i guess is uh just the fact that apple has passed on the show uh i love this what i loved jake if i could talk about

the show itself yeah okay please this this dragon spirit stuff you know like that opening blew me away i had to take a beat when I saw it and really let it sink in because the beginning of it was, for me, very powerful. Maybe my favorite part of the show, certainly of what I watch. Yeah. And the thing where you're saying, I believe it's you, it's saying the dragon spirit, right? Man.

I'm not sure you've watched the whole thing. I think Hayes might have. I did watch the entire thing. I really loved it. I still, I do just kind of want to zero in on what you want to accomplish today. Right. Because I'm just doing press. I'm just doing press.

Right. So, and absolutely. And we want. So it's called Habata. Yeah. I'm just doing press. Absolutely. It's called Habata. It's called Habata. Right now, it's just a pilot. It's Apple, so we're hoping to... Oh, I don't think we're allowed to do clothing. The wardrobe, Jake. The white outfits that they

wear in it. I gotta say, the wardrobe department on it... Don't worry. When we go to series, the white outfits that they wear in it i gotta say this thing looks amazing and let them don't don't worry when we go to series it could get insane so the show does not just exist there it takes place over about 10 years and we made a whole series bible for it that and perna michael show walter apple was very excited about and the team is incredible i really hate to keep going back to this but like once i once i feel like we have this cleared up like we're it'll be easier to talk about probably the runway is open because i'd love to talk about the content of the show which i am yes so knocked out by the white

clothes that dragon spirit thing you said at the beginning like and i i i personally like love the project and i and i want it to succeed by whatever that definition is for you. But you talk about going to series. My understanding is that Apple has passed on this show. They have. Yeah, definitely. I think it was 2019 they passed. Shut up for a second.

No, 2020. So that was a really long time ago. Yeah, this project has been dead for over a year, and I've asked them about getting the content back and they've said no. And so, yeah, Anna Perna has moved on. Michael Showalter has moved on and Apple has, despite a lot of conversations,

officially decided not to go forward with it. So I think to answer your question, but I'm a little bit confused. So I did something. I think something really cool happens too towards like that right, you know, before the after the dragon spirit

but before the... Yeah, Sean, you haven't seen you gotta watch the pilot, man. He's describing it right now. He's watching it as it's going. So the pilot's really great. I really love it. Yeah. I would say sean watch it later and watch it later and text or hopefully watch it on apple soon you know when we get to the

whole series okay which would be the which is the dream you know when you make something like this you know you put it in other people's hands us was apple because you know and michael show up unbelievable part of the team oh my god the team and you know team is like the freaks this the freaking you know great team or what i mean it's a great team great sports team of famous past i mean is that what we're looking at sean it's a goddamn all-star team and what yes exactly to maybe you know I don't want to say pair with the morning show because obviously they're very different shows and I don't know if Apple pairs shows uh or how but but regardless my like they won't be pairing this they won't be using this show at all right you won't be on no won't be on no there They won't be using this show at all, right?

Won't be on. No. Won't be on. No, there is nowhere to watch it. You can't watch it. And I was not aware that this project has been dead for as long as it has been. Over a year, it sounded like, yeah. Have you been doing it?

Well, longer than that, I think. Yeah. I think, honestly, it died way before. So I took a job in between you roll camera probably well I did a show called Stumptown in between a whole series that has since been canceled too I took that job after they passed on Habata definitely okay I but so here's another point of confusion for me oh wow so you hadn't even met dex no i hadn't met when they passed you didn't know dex i just like just one point of clarification for me you were saying you also want to promote stumptown today yeah uh so stumptown season two uh we have a whole new

showrunner and writing staff and you know season one we really got to know Dax Hoffman, Greg McConnell. What did you say, Sean? Gray. There's nobody named Greg. Gray. Like the color gray. I think your computer's freezing because it just sounds like you're screaming gray.

I'll continue. Hayes and Kev, sorry about this. But yeah, so I'm really excited about season two of sometime i want to see what the writers come up with and what happens to these characters and you know in 1976 in a small dojo in in i'm gonna butcher this to jungle california a new martial art was formed called Habata I mean that's just like one of the chyrons from this show

so awesome man yeah thanks man to return to Stumptown I heard great Sean was a huge fan of Stumptown yeah okay that's cool Stumptown. I came to Stumptown for the exercise.

That's cool. And I'll just speak a little bit louder. What I was wondering about is if Stumptown Season 2 is officially cancelled and this show, this pilot of yours is completely

dead. Deader than the dead what is it that you are promoting i guess like what is the end for the listener what is the end result we have this vimeo link that we are not allowed to share we could i guess what about this apple has told me i'm not allowed to yeah what about this we share the link but we do not share the password the password to me is like guessable but not like it would take a minute it's a word it's a real word you say that so i've asked apple if i could just release it on my own you know and they've said no okay so i guess when you ask what about could you passively play the audio from it on a podcast is Is that a problem? Because this is

a huge company. I mean, here's the reality. Here's the reality. That's your legal dance, man. I would say I wouldn't do it, but you're going to have Kevin. That's when we send Kevin in. Yes, thank you.

Is he going to go to jail? Oh, no. Kevin shows up. Kevin's our legal team. He shows up with the briefcase, slowly opens the briefcase. It has handcuffs in it already. He puts them on himself. And then sits down.

He brings an electric chair for them to use on himself so we on that front i think we are pretty much in the clear i do want to know what is a listener supposed to be doing hey man i'm the guest hey is this a real license or in the show when i watched it was that a real license that guy's license huh his license says hops like bird is his name yeah that's real that's later did you kind of skip accidentally you accidentally jumped ahead a little bit touched it but i don't really i i'm re-watching it, obviously, just to sort of refresh the juices. And this part I don't remember from the first time around. And I'm going, is this real? I guess for all of them, for like Sean, for you watching,

for us talking about it, my question is like, to me this does not matter. You're talking about promotion and press, and there is nothing to send people to. Right, that's true. Yeah. I guess what would your goal be from this press tour? What would be an ideal outcome be?

And has this been happening? There's no scenario where it airs. For a year, for like a year plus, have you been doing press this whole time, or is it beginning right now? No, so i've hired my own pr firm i've been deep in it i've done you know i can't get on any of the talk shows these days because i guess i've had some bad appearances in the past so i'm doing the

podcast circuit but i'm doing i saw the um i saw the kelly clarkson uh thing yeah it wasn't great the drew barrymore thing i think was taken out of context. That was clearly part of a much longer experience. The two of you had it. Well, it seemed that way. I just met her. Okay. Okay. So her reaction was right. My action was incorrect looking back. And, uh, I honestly played that out in my head and i thought it would be way funnier um and i have a lot of regrets and i'm really embarrassed by a lot that i've done on this press tour but there's nothing you could do you it's like you go forward man and so to hayes to answer your question i guess what i'm promoting is second chances you know that's a really beautiful okay

wow yeah so like yeah in this game i guess it'll be helpful to know what that means for habata the pilot um well i guess it's impossible to pick it up because they've killed all the contracts for stump town the show it's impossible because a lot of the actors have taken other jobs. Sure. Hollywood Handbook. Eating better is easy with factors. Delicious, ready-to-eat meals. Every fresh, never-frozen meal

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Hollywood handbook. Pops. Pops. This is much later. Some of the guys in this... You know these guys? No, they were just cast, man. They were just actors. You didn't know any of them no they were just cast man they're just actors you didn't know any of them they're just cat he's dead but like don't say that just be like yeah i knew them oh yeah well

i liked them they were you know don't there's no reason for this to like be a bad experience for you like it doesn't need to be happening at up the Kelly Clarkson stuff bringing up the Drew stuff I thought so yes I thought you were starting to get it I was benefit of the doubt I really assumed that Drew clip was taken out of context it seemed like there was no way no Sean it was unedited what you saw

that was from start to finish there's no backstory okay yeah it was a blunder on my part That was, from start to finish, there's no backstory. Okay, yeah. It was a blunder on my part. Man, I have reached out personally and professionally to Drew, and all I returned back was the equivalent of her Kevin. No disrespect, Kev.

None taken. I'm just getting emails back saying, like, yeah, nobody's mad, Jake. Move on. It's over. Right. I'm like, can I saying like, yeah, nobody's mad, Jake. Move on. It's over. Right. I'm like, can I please get Drew's personal? You know, that kind of, anyhow, what else?

What's going on with you guys? You got fired from Earwolf? Basically, yeah, pretty much. That's dope, man. I didn't even know they still existed. You guys got fired from the place? That was the thing that was kind of confusing for us, too. It was like, so you're like not a company anymore.

And they're like, yes, basically. But also you are being fired. So they said, we're kind of done and splintering and going somewhere new. But you're not welcome to the potentially new party. Yeah, it was sort of like being fired by New Coke, like the CEO of New Coke, where you're like, well, is at least the Coca-Cola company going to call us? No, New Coke. No, it was like, no, just the guy who runs New Coke.

But that hasn't been on shelves for 30 years. This is his first job. So what do you guys, what is this? Where are we doing the new podcast? We're going to figure, so as we record this, we haven't figured out the actual like place on the computer where it will be basically, but I'm looking at some of these apps down here. So you know what I'm doing Hayes is this podcast is about to,

this podcast is seasoned dose of the old stuff. We would love a second chance for Dex and Gray. You know, Gray was a box man on that show. I used to blow up boxes. This is what I was saying his name was. Gray. You were saying, Gray. Gray.

That's so, that's the that's so similar for you to just like not recognize that at all act like you've never heard of that person i honestly didn't know what sean was doing i was trying to listen to you hayes because you were pushing us forward it seemed like sean was listening to clips i couldn't hear and yelling words and so I was just trying to focus on you let's talk about pushing forward and let's talk about second chances yeah I actually think there's a real opportunity here Jake where we are looking for a place right now and it's all going online it's all going digital everything is like a place to put this content that we have hello streaming wake up and just even as we're talking i'm looking at all these different fuck up people all these different places on the

computer where this could go have you seen on the bottom here share screen chat participants record reaction even farther down than that lower stop video all these little things i see a fucking rocket ship i see a clock i see like a blue thing calendar okay imagine you're just the letter n is there you're checking what you're doing today and we have put this podcast episode yeah we've put the the we put habata and we put entire season on yourown season two on your, on your, on your calendar for right now. Yes. And the entire video and audio files are in there.

I'll film season two of Stumptown by myself. I'll do it on my phone. I'll do all the characters. I don't, you don't seem to know necessarily who all the, what, who all the characters are. So I don't,

because Sean was yelling you know something I was saying the name of your character Sean give me a pitch for season 2 of Stumptown all the characters let's rock what do we got okay yeah so the hey Rogers guy from the discount double check commercials is

is like he's turned his fuel truck into a rocket you guys are going to the moon to have sex with an alien uh mrs gorefield of course is there she was she was just kidding when she said she died in the submarine but she's been hiding out in a moon cave. The alien should probably be putting my producer hat on. Somebody splashy. I'm thinking Reese Witherspoon. No.

Jennifer Lopez. No. Oh, Jessica Alba. I was going to say Mr. No. Oh, Jessica Alba. I was going to say Mr. Bean. Yeah, you're right. No, I think Sean's right. This is what I always imagined being in a writer's room would be like

and what I, you know, this is what I've always wanted to do. Just be able to pitch. Just pitch. When there's like a better idea i'll go like that's my vibe like i'll go with it our whole thing and writers hayes and i always say hey i i like my idea i love your idea i'm obsessed with your idea i like my idea oh but i wish it was dead because i'm fucking obsessed with your idea literally would stab myself we go out to race we go out to jennifer i think that all makes a lot of sense you know and we just put it on we just like put it out there yeah put it out in the calendar the computer

are you guys going to be like uh you two where everybody just gets this podcast whether they ask for it or not it's just on everybody's phone are you talking about you two to us guys that was an Earwolf show so we used to be on a network called Earwolf what year we don't have to talk about

the year at all and I think it's much more helpful if we die worse. In case fans are excited. In case fans are excited. To hear a year and a half again. You were a year, Will, from 2013 to 2020, right? Boy. Yeah, I guess so.

How much money did they pay you guys? How much money did they pay you? I'm just curious to find out. We've said it on the show before. They did make us sign an NDA and they did edit it out when we told people what we made. But we're perfectly happy to say it.

Please tell me that's true. It was kind of embarrassing for us because you could... When we did open up about how much we were paid, they did bleep it but you could tell from the length of the bleep it was pretty quick to say that it didn't take very long to say the amount of money the longer i like you know you've learned that just like the longer, the more money it is, the longer it takes to say. For sure. Well, a million. Yeah, but everyone knew it wasn't that. It was pretty clear it wasn't that.

And from the reaction of the guests, you knew that it definitely wasn't that. They figured out that it wasn't that. No. Gosh. But, you know look at look at us but all of us back together again mr schmidt's friend hey it's me you know habata which i just am crazy for this thing and i can't wait for people to they obviously won't see it but even to just know about it um because do you guys do you guys not include kev when we're doing this wrap up of this when we're doing the what

jake when you're doing kind of the wrap up you know you're like we got hayes we got jakey j we got sean and then kevin's just like a big piece of shit in this thing I'm looking because I see oh I wouldn't say that he's not that big to me Kevin is medium sized Kevin is this medium uh and Kevin is like that thing where like

tough to say Kevin's name you know you don't like name pigs on the farm because you don't want to feel I love it I just feel a very like natural affinity for him but I'm not going to like name

now just a question on that as a city boy the reason you wouldn't want to name a pig is because you don't want to grow close to it when it's time for slaughter is that correct uh yeah I get I mean like I don't want to grow close to it when it's time for slaughter. Is that correct? Yeah, I guess. I mean, like, I try to live in the present, but yeah, I guess we're going to.

But, like, you would name a dog. Yeah, yeah. I'd name a dog, but I love dogs. Yeah. Yeah, you would name a baby, right? A little baby boy, you'd name that, right, father? Yes. You'd name a dog, a baby, a baby boy. You'd name that, right, father? Yes. You'd name a dog, a baby, a cat. Yes.

Yeah, daddy would name. Daddy would certainly name baby, yes. Daddy would name baby, yeah. But if you have a baby piglet on your farm, cute, in a little kitchenette with a hoodie on, you're not going to give that a name? with a hoodie on. You're not going to give that a name? Not even like little mustache or

Stubbles McGee or something cute? You're not going to name the pig? Any facial hair name is going to work for you, it seems like. Jake, do you have anything else? You've got anything else you want to promote?

Anything else you want to plug that we can't yeah so you know new girl you know we've the show's over the show's incredibly successful it is it's over there's that um jurassic world one not the sequels um that was great um i mean not the sequels of spider-man just just the first Spider-Verse, I guess. You will not be returning for that? Nothing's official, but I'm not ready to promote it. Maybe some indies, indie movies, maybe. Okay.

Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones was great. I'd love to talk about that. I hope they do them again. I don't have anything to promote, guys. Wow. I was asked to do that. It's been a really dark period.

I'm going through a lockdown, a quarantine. I'm sitting here with kids' headphones on. I got nothing, guys. Yeah, 2020. 2020. 2020. Look, it's possibly 2022. so we're in a wild era it's gonna take a minute to find a place for this to you know we're finding that the computer is basically full it

might be something of a habata situation for us with this thing yeah it just comes back or what i like to think of a season three of stunt town kind of thing of course of course you know because the truth is as long as it doesn't die in your heart it never dies it's like a kids movie you know oh why i'm not really sure well that's that seems like a nice place to end yeah yeah yeah yeah bye that was a hate gum podcast