Hollywood Handbook - James Adomian, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

The Boys welcome JAMES ADOMIAN to say farewell to Jims.This episode is sponsored by Squarespace ( www.squarespace.com/THEBOYS  code: THEBOYS), Harry's ( www.harrys.com/HANDBOOK ), and Quip ( www.getquip.com/THEBOYS ).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so you know it's an all-nighter because i'm there and i'm in there in the office with charlie wilson and we're and we're doing war yeah Mm-hmm. And it's not a war of punching and guns. Yeah. It's a war of paper filing, isn't it? It is in a way. And if Charlie's involved, then you know that also gams are going to be involved as well. Oh, yes.

The guy is obsessed with the female gams. He... I do declare. Yeah, he's a gam addict. Those gams are having some kind of effect on me. Those gams appear to extend all the way from the

hip down past the buttock into the shoe. Is the end of the gams going to end? Is the end of the gams coming anytime soon or am I going to absolutely pass out? So we, yeah. So anyway, we filed the papers and we won the war.

Oh. Yes. Insane, wasn't it? What was kind of the prize of that? The, um, I think we must have invaded Iraq or something. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry that we call showbiz. And it's so true, isn't it? That it is showbiz. Sorry, what's true?

That it is showbiz. The name what's true? That it is showbiz. The title of the show is true. And it is us putting on a show and making money. And it's for cash. Yes. And the hallways. And it is an industry as well. And this room, if you are facing the building,

we're in the back. Yeah. You know? James Adomian. James. It's kind of a postmodern power office to be in the back with no windows. Oh, yeah. It would be too obvious, and I would say even baby boomer-ish, to have the one that faces the window.

The corner window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still do the thing where I take meetings in here, and when I have to do a big think about something, I'll stand up and I'll kind of fold my hands behind my back and I'll walk over to the partition here. And I look out at the view, which is usually just Engineer Jordan, sometimes Chef Kevin.

But it's just something lesser than you to stare at. Yes. They look like ants. I don't have to do that here. Because I'm always practicing my putting. I'm knocking it down the carpet into an open water glass on its side. And then I'll turn and I'll say,

tell me your name again. To the person who I've invited to my office for a meeting. Now, James, you have been here before. It's true. And you are doing podcasts. Yeah. And you never have done this podcast. I never, and we've obviously talked about it for years.

For years, James. For several seasons, we talked about it.'ve watched we've obviously talked about it for years for several seasons we talked about it yes we've been hungry for it and the fans season 13 finally i'm satiating the great yearning that was inside me this whole time because i was like when we started the show i said we've got to have james and we, we hang out at the Soho house and everything. Yeah, we're always in there for the lunch. And we repel off. It's so interesting. It's so interesting when your professional life finally sort of opens up

and shows part of what your offstage personal life is like. Yeah. For me, they're one and the same. When I do hang out with people, it is for when I have like social chats. Yes. It is. I am casting you in my head. It is all content.

But we want it. It's just more authentic. I think people look down on that by saying, oh, it should be separate. You should be one person at home with your family and friends and another in your business space and i go well i'm just me all the time which is my family and friends are dollar signs to me and i am trying to get them into my bank account somehow so that's that so like uh is that really like after you like a totally yeah it's it's relatable it's relatable as as f um it's almost like a porky pig cartoon where somebody stares at him and they eat they It's relatable as F. It's almost like a Porky Pig cartoon where somebody stares at him and they can just see a turkey or whatever.

Yeah. But you see dollar signs. Mm-hmm. It's amazing. I'm on board with that. Why don't they just picture him as like a roast pig? I might be confusing two different classic cartoons. No, you're right.

It's like the cartoons. When, you're right. The cartoons... When people see Porgy Pig in Turn of a New Turkey, it does feel like they're working harder than they need to. But James... There's a step there in the writing that could easily be. Yeah, yeah. It is already pig, so... But is that what makes it so genius

in these cartoons that stick with us? Would I even remember if it had made him a pig? And they can't make those anymore. It's so sad what happened to Daffy Duck. That is fucked up. It was such a great career, and then he was killed like that. Yeah, and killed again afterwards, which is so disrespectful.

His reputation. Well, yes. It's like a second death. Let the man rest. Yeah, his ripcord didn't pull this was of course in uh i think roger rabbit where uh aren't they that's bugs bunny and mickey mouse yeah and i think maybe daffy shows up too or maybe they didn't get him in the shot because he was plummeting to her they're're switching packs. They're switching parachutes. Right.

You take this one. James, we play roles, don't we, in our lives, and you play some as well. It's funny you say that. I do characters. I have played roles. I would say everybody has a mantra. Yes. And one that sticks with me everybody has like a mantra. Yes. And one that sticks with me is...

Not telling mine. Sorry. Go ahead. Well... You're not supposed to. Not saying mine. You're supposed to be secret about it. Okay, sure.

So this isn't an informal, you know, this isn't a Franklin app. Oh, when you're just hanging out. Yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah. Anybody can know my mantra. Yeah. This is...

I don't tell people off mic. Please. But this is actually, I have this printed out and I had it framed. And it's sort of, you know, people have those motivational things you can get straight from the frame store. Yes. With like different size letters. I have one of those with this Oscar Wilde quote where he said, a man's first duty is to pose. And this is mantra.

And I have that. I had it framed in that kind of iconic frame font. Oh, yes. And I haven't put it up on the wall yet. It's still down. It's actually behind some other paintings that I haven't gotten to. It's down. It's on the floor, but I'm waiting to put it up.

I haven't decided if I'm staying. So it sounds like you have a floor and a wall at home. Yep. Okay. And that's the drill. Not bad. My mantra is. And that's the drill. Not bad. My mantra is the toys are back in town. And mine is feed my Frankenstein.

Is that from a Frankenberry? No. Nothing. Let me try and explain this. Nothing really is from Frankenberry. Oh, they ripped it off? Well, it is a cereal and so you can't words cannot be from the cereal frankenberry there is something from frankenberry acid reflux there's

there's uh big quote pages on imdb about all the ingredients and um frankenberry has an imdb frankenberry is an imdb count chocula the cerealula the cereal does and you go to memorable quotes and it has the ingredients those properties are the source material for the short lived dark reboot of Frankenberry the dark cereal universe ah yes

yes where they got Javier Bardem to play Frankenberry yeah okay Yes, where they got Javier Bardem to play Frankenberry. Yeah, okay. There's too much niacin in these movies. Angelina Jolie was bride of Frankenberry. Is that right? Briefly?

Am I wrong? I think, yes. I think she was. If I'm wrong, tell me. Sean, you're wrong. And I will go home. If I'm wrong, I'll go home. I will say, though, it hasn't happened yet i will say though hasn't happened yet she was the bride offer is always there she was the bride of frankenberry and in that's that they had the talent to like take a piece of cereal and like huck it really hard in an arc and it

would kind of go through someone's it would it would like slice through someone's mouth you could go around yeah around like a circle and instead of taking all the time to just step over a little bit. Which kills. It hurts to do a big step like that. If you've ever been standing, and I know not everyone at home has done this, but if you've been standing and there's something in between you and what you're looking at, and you try to move over. Or trying to shoot a Frankenberry.

If you're trying to shoot a Frankenberry through them and you move over, that kills. Be aware. Be aware when you're standing in a parabolic line adjacent to somebody else that might also be a valid target. Somebody with a grievance. A breakfast grievance. We talked about the cereal universe. Oh, yeah.

James plays these roles. These roles. Hey, I'll play a role. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Just joking around. No, go ahead. Come over for dinner and I make the best role. I serve the best role yeah

i'll serve you a role then there's a third kind of role as well yeah which is um uh tootsie roll drop and roll tootsie roll yeah tootsie rolls better uh yes you know i've had i'm blessed i've had a blessed career um and honestly i love i love the the challenging performances i've had a chance to bring to life yeah and i do want to talk about that not now and not on this show but that kind of conversation sounds really good to me that's kind of the default that's kind of the default sort of like that's just what i say whenever I'm talking about my rules. Here's who I want to talk to on this podcast. Jim's only.

May I talk to Jim's? Is Jim's there? Let me see if he's in there. Can Jim's come out and play? Because we should announce Jim's grounded. Jim's is grounded. That sounds like the Jim's I know.

Always into some sort of monkey business. Let's talk about that. I did Stonewall when I was at the Actors Studio. You did the movie Stonewall. Yes, and I filmed the final scene. It was cut out of the final, Roland Emmerich cut me out of the final edit of of it i guess because he probably wanted you to like come to set and not just like do your part at the studio i double booked i double booked and i can't turn down lipton right and

that does there's cameras there to commemorate the stonewall riots in a way that erases i can't i was on board with doing the movie but i I'm like, you have to adapt to my schedule. Right. It's a collaboration. We're all supposed to be meeting each other where we're at. That's where you find the good stuff in the middle, in between. I like my idea, but I love your idea. That's how I approach this stuff.

Can we make the big announcement, please? You have this podcast oh thank you that is coming is gonna be out by the time people are listening to this that's right and it's right and the name of the podcast is as follows and we are saying the name and it is this podcast it's called you have a slight i want to say this for you have a slight, I want to say this, but you have a slight. That's the formal title in the Library of Congress. You have. A slight vocal fry.

This is all still part of it. You have, there's like a, it's not directly broadcast. This is, there's a slight radio delay of several days or maybe a couple weeks between recording and when it comes out. Just to make sure that the sensors can bleep out anything that needs to be we're compressing the sound as well the high and the low end is being cut off the podcast is

I think this is all still part of the yeah I'm glad you guys recited it correctly the podcast is called The Underculture with James Adomian. And is that like a fungus? Exactly. Exactly.

It can be, right? Right. It's meant to evoke that kind of Vincent Price mildew commercials from the 80s, which were obviously very influential on so many of us. Oh, yes. That's why I got into creation. Podcasts can be a fungus. Tilex brand tile cleaners.

Kills meal juice stains. Dead. I think those are canonical Vincent Price projects. Oh, yeah. It starts with that. That's his origin story. And Frank and Weenie. Which is also part of the new Dark Universe.

Yeah, this is all on IMDb Pro. You don't see these on regular civilian IMDb, but you see it on IMDb Pro. Yes. And here's Edward Scissorhands is dead the thing that you want to announce this podcast is just these characters correct well i tell me about the podcast i could even say it in a less i could even say it in a less enticing way i would love to hear you dry yeah it is it is, it's just, you know,

it's just shuffling a few voices around. Okay. It's slapping a few inflections. And you do. You get an idea, you know, you just get in there,

you know, see if it works, paper you, and then you just slap it out there. Patreon, and just go and then collect it.

Goofs. It's my life's work. Is it goofs and gaffs? There are no goofs. I'm actually, I don't believe as an artist in doing goofs, but gaffs. So it's mostly gaffs. You will lay down a big gaff every once in a while. Yes, domestic USA made in America.

Wow. Okay. Gaff factory wow the people don't know when you talk about like shuffling voices around you do this thing like before you do like a voice we see you kind of pacing up and down the hallways here and you do kind of do like uh shimmy around i get in character for weeks i do if i'm gonna do a um vincent price or bernie sanders or whoever right i'm like um um i'm like um daniel day lewis yeah is abraham lincoln or or uh when he played the guy from last of the mohicans yeah uh we had to take a break that That character was called I Will Find You.

That's the name of the character. We had to take a break before you did, even just before you did that voice right now. We cut it out. You had to take a really long time to go watch the movie. The smoothness that you edited it in. Each time we do one of those, we actually have to pause and edit it back in and take a really long time for you to watch the whole movie i come back in here it's good to see you guys again thank you it's uh i've had a lot of stuff happen to me in between that was bad but this is kind of like a safe place but people don't

necessarily know that part of right my public facing sure persona because they are that part of my public facing persona or that part of The Last of the Mohicans they don't necessarily know it go find you it's great to see you again we're back

again okay wow it just doesn't seem worth the really long time like it's fine I just wish you would do it for

well you want to just do it on the fly you want to just I guess I would rather if it's going to be that short I guess I would rather not do it at all well that's what I'm going to start to be it on the fly? You want to just throw it out there? If it's going to be that short, I guess I would rather not do it at all. Well, that's what I'm going to start to be doing on this new project. Yes. Because for this reason, I am tired of the preparation, the costumes, the makeup.

I go into heavy makeup, even for stuff that's just in an audio format. I go into makeup like a wharf from Star Trek level makeup. Yeah, it's all day. I have to come in at 5 5 a.m sometimes just to get a makeup for a podcast and people don't on earwolf haven't necessarily seen this side of it and i was glad to have this opportunity to introduce this sort of um some springboarding i'm sort of like i'm pivoting you know one of my favorite words that people say a lot in hollywood is pivot we're yes we're actually pivoting from, I'm pivoting. You know, one of my favorite words that people say a lot in Hollywood is pivot. We're actually pivoting from that. We're pivoting from left.

We're pivoting. Yeah. Time to pivot. It's pivot time. I think Obama said it in a speech and then everyone in Hollywood started saying it. We're actually pivoting. Jeremy pivot. He pivoted.

Yeah. Pivoted to stand up. We all do. But people on Earwolf don't necessarily know that I have done a lot of these characters because there's so much preparation involved. I've kept it for other places where I have enough time. Sure. Black box theaters and stuff like that.

Yes, love it. So we're trying to develop a technique for me to be able to do it faster on this new podcast. So obviously people have heard me as myself on Earwolf. Different show. We've always been on a different show on the same network. Yeah. And we've always been through the wall. It's always a happy hello.

Hello. Yes. But we talked about it was best for me to come on here and save an appearance on hollywood handbook for a big for a big dismount yes yes so i'm no longer going to be the james that's the james you are the voice basically shedding your birth personality aren't we all aren't we all shedding our shells well you and every seven years it's we have completely new cells wait a minute you say that's unique to me you are doing it now yeah yeah it's well i'm molting i mean shedding is fine if the question is is everyone

abandoning their original personality to exclusively do characters i would say no most people are not doing that but you are and i think that we should celebrate this i agree with you on that i would just make i mean i i agree mostly i would say that everyone has the potential to do that but sometimes a human life is cut short or people don't aren't fully actualized in a way that they realize. You're talking about getting hit by trains? Well, we talk about that on this show. If you are at a stoplight and the train appears to be far enough away that you think you have time to get across the tracks, please, James, just fucking wait. No, don't gut it.

Don't gut it. This is apparently the issue because we keep having to do these ads. They don't seem to be working. I don't have a car. You know this. Even worse because a car in some instances will protect you with metal. I walk everywhere or I take public transit. So sometimes I've been in a train that was hesitating about crossing a different train track.

First of all, that's terrible for the environment. was hesitating about crossing a different train track. First of all, that's terrible for the environment. If you're out in open air all the time, do you know the toxins and emissions you're putting out? You're supposed to keep that trapped inside a car. Then you suck that car out and put it in a Ghostbusters container. It's my lifestyle. Just from the human pits.

Look, I make up for it by donating. I donate to automotive charities. You're carbon neutral. I'm carbon non-aggressive. Have you been scooting around? I do. And sometimes you come up on a bird or a lime or even a Lyft scooter at the crossing. And in those situations, I'm like, gun it.

So I do want to get something out there. I am becoming known as the Scooty Cutie around town. Yes. And people are yelling this at me from their cars. I just want, since you are. You're the it boy. Yes. And since you are scooting as well, I just want to let you.

I didn't start this, but that title is currently not available. Scooty Cutie? The Scooty Cutie. The Scooty. The Scooty Cutie. The Scooty Cutie? The Scooty Cutie. The Scooty. The Scooty Cutie. The Scooty Cutie. Yes. I can respect that.

Do you want your own title? Your own name? Scooter title? Scoot McNary, potentially? Bird Boy. So you're only on... I haven't debuted that one yet yeah it sounds like it could be the bird box

it's good if they rhyme unfortunately the only thing that rhymes with bird is turd it's the only word that you can use and I don't want to do that I'm going to call you the bird turd are you going through the alphabet?

I'm trying you don't the bird turd. Yeah. What the fuck could it be? Nerd bird. Are you going through the alphabet? I'm trying. The bird nerd. I'm trying. You don't want to be Scoot McNary? He was so good in all those movies. Well, speaking of, he was in True Detective. Oh, yes. We're very influenced.

Scoot Ackerman. Of course. Scoot Ackerman. Scoot Ackerman would be a very good corner to stake out. Take it from him and then charge a hefty price when he needs it. Yes. I wanted to say that we're so influenced by season one of True Detective and we actually do think time is a flat circle, which is why our hello to you is also our goodbye. When we see you on the show, we're meeting James, but we're also getting rid of James.

Who's James? I want to meet the under fungus. I, you know, I want to pull that. If you don't mind, I want to pull that for the exhibit on the underculture that's going to go up at the Museum of Radio and Television. Yes, I might. I thought that was a, are you really?

I mind you not doing that. It's a public quote. It's under 15 words, I think. Public quotes, yes. Yeah, at this point, a lot. It's a public quote. It's under 15 words, I think. Public quotes, yes. Yeah, at this point, a lot of my quotes are public quotes, and I just have to start dealing with that. May I have a scooter name? By any chance.

Yeah, what would you like it to be? Probably the Limerita. Okay. Limerita? I think so, yeah. You're the Limerita, which they sell in cans in big cans sometimes and i'll tell you what you have in common with it it's your lime juice and much too sweet a charge for your lime scooter it's true i am too sweet yeah so i'll be the

limerita as a limerita and uh scoot ocherman come trucking down the street here to meet up with the scooty cutie man what a freaking afternoon we could go i mean we could go scoot off and find some abandoned house uh-huh and we could do like hardy hardy boys uh adventures not if it's on the top of a hill. Then we can't get up there. We would be limited, actually, sort of geographically to... If it's at the bottom of a hill, lug out. Downhill adventures, and then we'd probably have to ditch the scooters and get a ride back up.

Oh, yeah. But downhill adventures. The adventure we'll have... For sure. In the back of our mind the whole time, we'll be thinking, God, that's going to be a pain in the ass when we get out of here.

How are you going to get back up? Did you see if the others... If you can go around, that's going to be a pain in the ass when we get out of here. How are you going to get back out? Did you see if you can go around? I'm going to be thinking that. Well, since we're saying goodbye to original gems. We're moving on to another chapter. We're turning a page, yeah. Do we want to sort of go back through some of the highlights of these gems? Do you want to sort of?

You brought this. Wow. Basically a whole book. I just wanted to turn the page. Yeah. Oh, okay. But you also do have so many pages here of your accomplishments.

I do. That now is the time to share because none of these characters know who you are. And so when the procedure is complete, the original gins will not exist. That's true. There is going to be a procedure. His secrets die with him.

Because Bernie will be saying, who is Jim's? I guess this is a safe place to announce it. Yeah. I'm going to be having, it's not a surgical procedure. It's a semi-surgical procedure. It's done through acupressure. Um, but it's going to be,

it's, it's a, it's an acupressure, psychic, uh, sort of tantric, um, procedure that's going to,

um, I'm going to, I'm going to spend less of my waking time. Right. As my persona that people have known me as for so long. And that's going to end gyms and and it's gonna be taken over more by some of these characters right and some of them are they range from being um tolerated to being um being very controversial sure so but i i want to lean into that so not tolerated not tolerated yeah. Yeah. None of them are beloved, but some of them are.

Some of them are really tolerated. Really tolerated. For extensive periods of time. Yeah. And others are highly controversial. And I would say some of them are studied. Some of these characters are studied. And I want to lean more into that.

And in order to be able to do them in a rapid way, to be able to switch from one character to another, something had to give. And what that was, was my actual, my being, myself. You got to shut off. Because the problem is you taking the journey to become these characters. The bridge there is that you're starting as you.

If you start as nothing, then you can instantly become the character. It's almost like it's just fine-tuning engineering like a Tesla automobile or something where you can switch gears faster. And as far as I know, that's the main technological leap that Elon Musk has made with Tesla is just being able to switch gears faster. The gears change a little bit quicker. I think that's what a Tesla is. The Tesla's go fast. Then a bike. Not then a car.

I just want people to be clear what you're comparing. Well, what are you asking? You're asking too much. Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously, it's groundbreaking technology, but you're asking too much i think to expect it to compete with other cars yes and this is like we're getting into technology stuff but and um in terms of the procedure we do it's like acupressure people are like what are

these terms like mean basically pressure it's like you're you're it's basically you're you are putting your brain in a panini machine right i mean like in a lot of ways yeah well physically literally yeah yeah in a lot of ways you are because well and that's repurposed in acupressure your machine is repurposed your brain is known someone's yard sale yes in acupressure i've studied a little bit of eastern medicine your brain is known as your- Oh, from Boston and New York? From, yes, exactly. From the East Coast. Really more Tallahassee and Dover.

But your brain is what's known as your personality meridian. And putting that in a panini press and setting it to sort of a soft grill, the way you would sear a scallop perhaps in a panini press and setting it to sort of a soft grill, the way you would sear a scallop perhaps in a panini press, is just the right amount that you don't do any permanent damage in terms of like, you'll still be able to talk, walk, gaff. In many ways, I'll still have a lot of the personality ticks. And probably some more. One of the side effects could be irreversible physical tics. And tats.

How about funny ones, we hope? Either way, I'm prepared. I think that the response to this is already, from what we've been announcing and slowly rolling out with our partners, overwhelmingly positive to negative. And so we're confident that there will be a team that will be able to help smooth over some of those. Anything where there's a lag time, anything where there's... I can just see in the other room there, people are really i'd be there they might be checking their phones and looking at something else some people are yeah some were looking at their phone but some were losing it you guys have a gallery there's a large gallery of observers that you have yeah um are they now focus group

their focus group it's a focus group yeah they the dial, and they're just cranking it up. Man, when you're saying some of your shit about the... And you notice how... And there's family members of the victims that come behind the two-way mirror just to look through. From the training victims? The victims of your podcast and its cruelties. Yeah, and they'll just point at us, and then just sort of move on. But there they are. For the guys with the dial, you know

that's how I'll sometimes take my arms and sort of press my pecs together a little bit? That gives the dial a little goose. You know what I mean? The dial. It's focus groups. Now that you have your own podcast, you'll...

If they like what we're doing on the podcast, they'll turn that dial all the way to the right. And if they not like they're able to shock you bless your heart for not having had to deal with this nothing shocks me anymore uh the the secret to doing your own podcast is of course keeping it visual like hayes said squeezing your pecs together i've learned a lot from yeah i've learned a lot from you guys from reading the descriptions of the episodes yes it can be very instructive i don't have time to listen it's all and i would like to it's all in the description but i do i read the descriptions and that's just like the shorthand yeah how i catch up with things oh sure and um so i i've learned a lot seeing how people in shorthand describe what you guys do on the show.

The guy who's winning at Jeopardy right now, James Holzhauer, was saying that... I think Alex Trebek is really winning at Jeopardy. Thank you. Okay. It's a lot more impressive. Almost no mean for Sean to not say that. It was a lot more impressive than his run on the other game shows he used to do. Yeah.

Yeah. He's doing a better job at that because he didn't do those for very long. What is the show now? We're just going to spit on Trebek's resume? That's the fucking show? I'm sorry. He was saying that you were doing that. That's not what I'm hosting.

It feels like you're trying to turn it back on him. But Jim's was saying... Oh, I'm just giving all credit. You were acting like James was the best guy to ever do Jeopardy, and he's saying that it's Alex Trebek. I was complimenting James' study technique and saying that James told me through my TV screen that one of the ways he prepped for Jeopardy was to study in the children's section of the library.

Wow. Because it's mostly just pictures and one sentence of the fact that you need to learn. Huh. And that you reading the descriptions of the episode and probably seeing a picture of us with our arm around someone or standing near someone who we barely know is maybe a better way to absorb the feeling of the show than listening to the fucking episodes. Yeah. And I think that method of study is a great way for anything. I think if we're going to take big evolutionary leaps as a human species, it's not going to

be from knowing great depths about vast quantities of knowledge. It's going to be about knowing like almost like, like a match card game level of, Oh, that's just like this. Like I know where all these countries are in relation to what's your favorite podcast. Read the description and look at the picture. I'm a big fan of the description of WTF.

It's great description. The description. Fuckineers. What the fuckineers. My favorite is, of course, Doughboys. I love to admire how, especially in the picture, how Nick Weiger has developed a picture pose where he can do two thumbs up

and that allows him to not touch anybody. Does Nick Weiger not like touching people? Based on the fact that he's developed this pose, right? Because why else? I mean, the two thumbs up thing. Well, now he can't put his arm around anybody. He's got to do the two thumbs up. And imagine how rude you would feel asking for one of those thumbs to go down just so you could have what?

A squeeze? I like to go ahead and hug people or do like transactions at a coffee shop with thumbs up. Oh, yeah. Okay. So everyone knows all the time that I'm being positive. You will pay for food with a thumbs up? Yeah it takes a little bit longer yeah uh because if you slip at all then suddenly the thumbs up has blended down into whatever finger mash you yes so you have to cost money to go through your pockets and stuff it's a little bit of pawing yeah you should

if you want to you could try it sometime. It actually helps with hand, well, thumb-eye coordination. Really? Yeah. I guess it would help to basically wear your pants upside down, so then the money is already kind of falling out a little bit. Well, I keep the money in the bandages that I'm using to hold my thumbs up. Oh, you actually do it with, you use the help of like athletic tape wrap. Yeah, I strap Ace Bandage or whatever around my thumbs to lock them in that position.

And then I'll keep a little cash in there and I'll sort of work it out with my mouth while the cashier waits. And it's very positive. And people have to wait a little bit longer. Yeah, but they're waiting in this super pleasant environment where everyone's being completely positive and double thumbs it they're being thumbs up at it's so nice that you'll have this sort of historical document of the stuff that you used to do and we're just kind of getting it all on record i'm yes for the procedure the character procedure i am collecting it into a series of scrapbooks. I learned from, actually, I learned from Hugh Hefner.

I heard that. And I read the description when he died. I just read the blurbs. What? Is our obituary not basically our final podcast description it's like a retrospective coming up blurb yeah but i looked at that and it was one of the interesting things actually probably the most interesting about him uh that i saw was that he made um scrapbooks for his whole life of memorable things that happened really and so we're doing that we're okay are you sure are you possibly thinking of a magazine

um i just want i like like when you say that he made these scrapbooks i wonder if you are getting confused that he was basically a guy who published a magazine were the scrapbooks that you're talking about photographs and then little blurbs and writing. Yeah, you take photographs, you lay them out. We're very detailed with an X-Acto knife. Yes. And you lay it out, and you glue it down very flat and try to make sure there's no bubbles in the air or any. And there's a very, very high-resolution photocopying process that makes it.

And then you can print it on a very thin paper press. A very thin crinkly paper and then basically there's four pages that form a sheet and they're stapled in the middle and you fold them over and that way your scrapbook can be distributed

to anybody that wants to share the memories. And the stuff that is happening to him, like you said, is mostly, frankly, nude gams. Yeah. Well, it's people who have been to his house, really. It's just like company that he had over. Right. Which a lot of times is gams, some of Charlie Wilson's favorite gams.

Sometimes you want to remember a great ad that you saw in print. Well, Newport. Yeah. To remind you to buy something. You want to remember the fun time you had with yeah smoking menthol cigarettes on like a

pier yeah yeah or um American Airlines or sometimes there would be like um a cute little story

you would read in like Reader's Digest or something about from some some guy um who's like here I'll tell you how it is.

Yeah. That you chuckle at. Yeah, and you just sort of save that memory in the scrapbook. And then you can sell it to anybody who wants to share the memories with you. I do want to leave time for you to summarize your career. Are we out of time? So we can... We're not out, but we're almost out of time for you to summarize your career and we do

want to get just a little bit more of it so well a lot of a lot of this will live online in the james domian archives oh online archives yeah it's being um it's being curated um by it's actually being curated by archive.org. Oh, the way back machine. Yeah, they're actually, unfortunately, I heard that they're in danger of being bought and terminated. But until that happens, this will be a permanent

archive that lives there. Kevin, am I not giving you enough of a good picture? Your hair's kind of messy. Well, that's not going to change. You're standing there with a camera until my hair i know this is he whispered your hair is kind of messy it's unpleasant for you guys to be going through this right now but as a fan of the descriptions of the podcast when you see these real moments in the room this to see the photos get taken you got to be fanning out yeah i really i really am

you see what it's like wow i'm on the other side of this scrapbook that's how you get the yeah and how were my photos everything's good it's from my helmet should i wear my helmet so i can be the scooty cutie and you can just go ahead and start just like get into just we gotta get this all on paper. Just rip it. Yeah, obviously, my career has been storied. Spit it out. I've been on TV, and I've done plays. So that I wanted to ask about.

How the heck did you do that? It was a lot of work to try to pull off at the same time to do so much of. So much play. At the same time, play. And also a completely different media, switching gears and doing movies. Talk about play. And also TV, which is movies that are less important and more poorly written, I guess.

Hey, pal, I think actually some of the best writing out there is on TV right now. I've never heard anybody say that before. You ever see Ghosted? Go ahead and check for your credits on that one a little episode called lockdown might have been written by somebody you'd be interested in i do think that episode five because they had to keep him in the room for the early ones yes that yes people go oh you're high ringing writer in

there wouldn't you have gotten one of the first two or three? No, they need me there at the beginning. I think that Bar Rescue ranks right up there with some of the greatest works of Kubrick and Tarkovsky. I think it's high art. Well, speaking of high art. It's called Marriage Rescue. Uh-oh. I saw that. I saw that. I saw that, yeah.

It's for, I guess, people that are married to a car. Get yelled at by John Taffer. Yeah. And so he's like. Maybe the secret to a happy marriage is a round ice cube. Something that he would offer them a lot. Your bedroom needs more tvs now thank you for editing that so smoothly you really do have a helmet yeah it says nutcase on it and don't

even think of saying that i am a nutcase i wasn't going to. Is that a skiing helmet? No, it's not a skiing helmet, unless I'm going downhill. It's an all-purpose. Hey, anything can be a skiing helmet if you ski in it. Yeah. They should have a lift that when we do bird scooter adventures downhill, there should be a lift that takes you back up. There should be a city lift. And then you choose your own adventures either way.

Every hill should have a ski lift next to it. It doesn't have to be a chair lift. It can just be one of those ones where I hold on to the rope. J-lift? Is that what it's called? Or a T-lift? And kind of squeeze the scooter between my legs. Yeah.

And then you could even go shopping and have your grocery bags and stuff and then be like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah. I tie my groceries to the rope and then just kind of hold on. And to accomplish all that, a bunch of grocery bags, a scooter, getting on a lift with your thumbs up. Yeah. Either taped or, you know, through physical acuity.

How insane must the change in quality of life for skiers have been when they put chairlifts in everywhere you know what i mean like that's probably where society peaked yeah i just feel like that was maybe the most drastic quality of life increase for a group of humans well before that has happened. Before that they were just walking. In Norway skiing was like a terrible chore. Yeah. Oh it must have sucked.

You would leave your skis down at the bottom of the hill and then you would have to make new ones every time. It's honestly like the equivalent of you doing impressions now where you have to where you have to. A great leap. Yeah, where you have to like stop everything that you're doing and go do like this incredibly long process.

It's a multi-day commitment to then have what amounts to a minute of fun. It probably had its origins in, in you know running to reach people the same way that any entertainment does yeah wanting to reach people wanting to take these stories that are our stories yeah and take stories that we grew up with take these stories these these narratives these story arcs. Like, like, when you poo? It honestly doesn't work, what I'm saying,

with any specifics. There's no specific. No, it's just, it's the way that, it's the way that sort of, I think, great filmmakers

and great television makers talk when they are trying to brag and yet also, you know, not. Right. Because that turns some people off but i said these are the stories of our lives these are our these are the stories and it's just an honor to be able to um to share them carry this tradition of stories and what you that when

you say it like that what you leave out is the fact that you're making a lot of money from it um that you're like that you're treating people harshly to pull it off right and you're not good at it and also not good at yeah you know the show you're making is but when i think about people don't like it you can always blame the stories blame the myths that you pulled it from when i think about episode 105 of ghosted lockdown, for me, that was never about the money. Yeah. You know, that was at the absolute furthest from my mind was the money. Now. It was honoring the characters.

Annie Carver, weapons specialist. Now, when I hear an episode title Lockdown, my head goes to a bottle episode trying to save a little budget on this one. Okay. Yes and no. What's locking them down? A freed creature. Okay. Being the ghost.

The title's a bit of a misnomer. the title's a bit of a misnomer. It was not ghosts specifically they were dealing with in most, or in fact, any of the episodes. But there was sort of a supernatural element, and you'll agree that ghosts are like that. It would have been really nice if at the time there were like a cool phrase in the zeitgeist that was something like alien.

Because then, imagine imagine that would have done a lot for us yes or like funny x-files if that had been like you somebody stopped texting you and they go like

freaking jerk just funny x-files to me and then that. That would have been so easy. Could have more easily transitioned into what we were trying to do there. Your name of your show, certainly, is based on a cool phrase. Underculture was actually the last phrase that hadn't been taken up. As the last title. By a band or a website um there is

another thing called the underculture um sure but and it's yeah it's it's you know well it's a restaurant in london yeah so yeah sure and what do they serve freaking mushrooms and fungus it's a fungus yeah have you thought about what the last thing... They get bad marks. They get rather poor marks. No. John Taffer got to pop in over there. Yo, guys.

Come on. You do it. Well, see, you tried to do it live just now. That's why we don't do it that way. You tried to do it live. You're making people sick. You hit on my wife. My wife came in here because I told her to flirt with you,

and then you hit on my wife. You call this a bar? You're disgusting. I mean, that took a while longer. It took a little long time. Arguably no better. It was a little better. Thank you.

Thank you. What is the last thing you're going to do? The listener hears that. The listener hears that. Dude. Or the reader of the description. You saying thank you, yeah. What's the last thing you're going to do as Jim?

thank you to that as well what's Jim's big farewell? Viking funeral for Jim's personality? yeah you know they did that with Odorous Orungus from from that great band

Gwar I can't believe that I forgot Gwar and remembered Otis Arrakis it is pretty weird for most people it's the other way around

for most people it's the guy from Gwar yeah they did a viking funeral for his for his personality

and body yes and I've always like that would be so attractive to me but to get rid of my real person right

and only become the shell and only become a sleeker, faster operating version of these characters that I've shifted into so laboriously. I think I always liked the aesthetic of the fire funeral that Darth Vader gets at the end of the Star Wars originals. And I want to do that, but it's my real physical body. funeral that Darth Vader gets at the end of the Star Wars originals. And I want to do that, but it's my real physical body. Him, it's like being in lava, basically. Isn't that what kind of happens to him? He goes into the lava?

It's a standard wood pie or funeral pie. Oh, okay. Are you thinking of the Terminator? It's like Ewok. Yeah, well, he gives a thumbs up. Ah. I mean, that is what you would do. You would go down. Yeah, you'd be thumbs upping as you're lowered into the lava pit.

That was an alternate version where they lower Darth Vader into lava. Or molten steel, I guess it is, in Terminator. And it's the thumbs up. It's the thumbs up, but it's taped. Yeah, you can tell. What's the last thing you're going to say as James?

Well, I guess this is an interesting part because some of that is up to you guys. This is the big dismount. Yeah, I know, but we haven't been telling you what to say.

No, I mean, we tried. I always feel... I don't take direction unless I'm ostentatiously taking direction. And how does that work when you are ostentatiously taking direction? What does that sound like? It sounds like, oh, well, then if you know so much, you can tell me how to do it. Right. sound like it sounds like oh well then if you know so much you can tell me how to do it right um i think a lot of this is in in your hands i think a lot of this is in the hands of the final edits we get to those magical creatures behind the glass sure they get to decide they

could pull you saying thank you for example uh like five minutes ago and that could be the last thing that anyone ever hears you say and it's i almost embrace this mystery wow i almost i don't to me as someone who's thought about these issues and these stories and these myths and these characters so much uh i don't need the closure i don't need an answer for me the journey is the journey okay and you don't want it to be something funny like you might be my shorts how could it be how could how could it be funny like eat my shorts when people ask me like why wasn't that last podcast episode you did funny how could it be i go how could it be honestly how could it how could it be? What would have been making it funny?

Certainly not something I'm doing. Yeah, they shouldn't. Hayes has a lot of other stuff going on. You saw in the description. You saw in the description about what it was going to be. Yeah, why don't you take a page out of James' book? Yeah. Read the description and scroll on.

It helps you to be able to talk about it. But yeah, I'm going to be at Underculture. We've got six weeks before that starts to fail and break down, I think. Yeah. And so by the time people are hearing this, it'll be four weeks until it fails. Well, maybe even rounding right about rounding third base. Okay. Yeah.

And is there a way to get the old parts of your brain back? Or like, have you thought about that? It's a semi-permanent procedure. So it would take massive levels of like therapeutic meditation. Yeah. You can unpanini a sandwich. Well, what happens is there's almost like a George Foreman grill where the fat runs out, except that's my individual. They're squeezing out of my ears and stuff will be like.

Right. It'll be the parts of me that people know as me, which to me, I think I've had a great run. You know what? All you have to do is you take the part that dripped out and you pour it back on your brain. That's flat. And you basically put it in

vertically. You know how it's kind of made flat? You just kind of stand it up and then you press it again. To review that. To review the shape. To soak it a little bit first. Yeah.

I am going to keep the runoff in, not in the freezer, because that might chemically change it, but just in the back of the refrigerator. And so maybe it'll congeal a little bit. Yeah. And you'll be able to see my glasses. Yeah, this is also a Lasik, simultaneous Lasik. I'm hoping that it's like a cartoon, like when, for example, Orko gets dehydrated or whatever from the He-Man cartoon. Orko was also in GWAR.

To make you remember that the character is still the character there's whatever distinguishing thing like the glasses and the eyes are still on the glass of whatever can i offer you a life hack please take the take the runoff and put it in the ice cube tray and then it's flavoring your bloodies and each little each little ice cube will have a mustache and glass but they're still staying cold without you putting like the warm runoff in there oh you put some of that in a lamarita and then somebody can have a little you know if you want if you want to drink on the rocks you can have a little bit of a little bit of jims thank you jims I believe I'll have a Casa Dores and Jim's bye

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