Hollywood Handbook - Jamie Loftus, Our Mensa Friend

Episode Date: February 4, 2020

Jamie Loftus joins The Boys to give them the Mensa test. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So I was in there with, in the sort of kitchen area. The big kitchen. With Gary. Gary. Gary. Quite contrary. And we were cooking and drying the beans to make the beanbag chairs. Uh-huh.

Gotta cook them first. Well, and actually, that's not true. And that is something we learned. Okay. Is you very much do not have to cook them first okay so i guess this is gary gary quite contrary that has been affecting me as well yes he'll be looking over my shoulder and be like you're just gonna put them in there you're not gonna cook them and dry them gary insisted like you're gonna put them in like that's disgusting it's not sanitary you need to cook them

to like disinfect them i was like they're already dry yeah to cook them and then dry and once you cook them they never really get that dry again like they get dry drier yeah but they don't get dry in a way where it's like so basically i mean you know if you fast forward to we're stuck in the chair like we're stuck to it. The bean juice is bleeding through the material. It ruined my tuxedo. And I'm starting to get mad at Gary and going, this is kind of what I said, isn't it? And Gary's like, when? You say so much shit.

You're always talking. You never shut up. You don't even say that much stuff. No, I honestly, and this is true of this show and this is true in my life. You say stuff. Sure, I say stuff. Of course I say stuff. But for the most part, I'm here to listen.

And it is time for me to step back and listen. And today on the show, I will be mainly an observer. So, I think you should have fun doing the show. Of course, you have a guest. I don't know if you want to talk to her, introduce her, or what you want to do with that. I don't really have a plan.

Yeah. It's Hollywood Handbook. Hello! Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt. Jamie Loftus. Hi. She is from the comedy scene for sure. Sure. Yes. Sure. Absolutely. I'll accept that. Jamie Loftus. Hi. She is from the comedy scene for sure. Sure.

Yes. Sure. Absolutely. I'll accept that. Jamie Loftus and she made us laugh. Didn't she? There you go. Didn't she?

And do a big podcast. A what? Do a big podcast. And do a huge podcast. I do a podcast. And another one. I love it. And now two.

And where'd you get that idea to do another one? Okay. And maybe someone has been studying. Your influence is felt. Uh now two. And where'd you get that idea to do another one? Okay. Maybe someone has been studying. Your influence is felt. Okay. Interesting. That's impact.

That's it. That's your impact. And we did that. Do you feel good about, you're like, oh, wait. Having all the podcasts? Yeah. And then be like, you can do that too. Did you know you could have a second?

Because it hadn't occurred to me. People mostly were doing one. You're doing it. Yeah. I know. And then I started doing a second. Because it hadn't occurred to me. People mostly were doing one. You're doing it. Yeah? I know. And then I started doing a second. And maybe I'll even take on a third. I used to think there was shame attached to that. But then I learned that.

And we've got three. Do you wear clothes from it? Do I wear clothes from the podcast? In my house, I do. Only around the house. Well, I'll walk outside. I'll go to CVS in the clothes. It depends on where I'm going. He's got to get the paper. He's wearing the clothes. I'm wearing the clothes. Is there a stigma with wearing the house? Well, I'll walk outside. I'll go to CVS in the clothes. He's got to get the paper.

He's wearing the clothes. Is there a stigma with wearing the clothes? I worry about wearing the clothes. I worry about wearing the clothes. Well, you're worried that people will ask you will like it too much and be like, wow, it's a bomb switcher. Yeah, they'll be like, hey, who drew those clothes?

And I'll be like, well, I drew these clothes. And then they want to shake my hand and it just becomes, and they're so excited for me. Everybody wants to shake your hand. And then they're telling me how proud they are. People are concerned, I think, that if they do two podcasts or three podcasts, that the quality will suffer because they won't be able to invest as much time. But if you start at a baseline of not being very good. Then you can just multiply that. Well, then it becomes yes. Quantity over quality.

Can we congratulate Bosh before we really start today and talk about how he was being very brave and he went to the vet this morning. He was in the doctor. Because he was a big sneezer. He was sneezing. He was a monster sneezer and he was doing huge mega achoo's. He's a big sneezer. He was sneezing. He was a monster sneezer and he was doing huge

mega achoo's. He's a big sneezer. Go on. I might do a different one later. Oh, okay. He's a big sneezer trying to get something out now. So he,

it seemed like he was trying to get something out of his nose. Dog only knows what I'd sneeze without you. A nose, in this case, is spelled like a nose. N-O-Z-E. So he was doing big sneezers. He has accused Hayes of having something unusual in his yard because it was almost immediately after he was in Hayes' backyard that he was doing some of the biggest sneezes I've ever heard and mega monster-out shoes. And we went to the veterinarian and I thought, oh, I'm going to be so late.

And then she squirts salt water in there. Oh. Which I guess is like what you do with anything. You just squirt salt water. You ever see a fish I guess is like what you do with anything. You just squirt salt water. You ever see a fish sneeze? In the nose? You just spray them. Have you ever seen that before?

Never. No, because they have it in there. Because it's always blasting up in there. Because this is water. Because this is water. This is water. It's my favorite show.

You know about this? And it's in there. It's a good show. Do you know about this? I love that show. This is water? It's so sad though. Such a show.

It's so sad. I can't watch it. You can't watch it, but it is a great show. I've never seen it, but I know it's so sad though it's so sad i can't watch it um you know you can't watch it but it is a great show i've never seen it but i know it's good i know it's so sad and that's most shows i heard that he dies uh i've never seen him yeah he drowned yeah because this is but because it was water he was warned with the title and they said yeah and then somebody and then an old man goes that was water yeah yeah and then we all think about it like, wow, it really was. Holy shit.

Yeah. Son of a bitch. He came full circle. Yeah, they told me. Jamie. Yeah. Talk about this podcast and like really, really get into it. And sell me.

I'll get, okay, I'm going to sell you on the new podcast. It's called My year in mensa is about um when i i took the mensa joke maybe as a bit to be and then it's a joke you said it was a big mensa joke i'm just staying on your ass about this it's like you meant to say take the mensa test and i meant to say the test but i said the joke i often when i'm like kind of doing a joke, well, I can only say joke. In the middle. And then you say, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A few times during the thing.

Yeah, sometimes, you know, if you're on stage, you just say joke in the middle because you're thinking about the joke. You're like, this is what I'm doing. Because my head is just being like, okay, doing a joke now. And then you'll say, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then everyone will tense up. And then you'll say, restart. And, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then everyone will tense up. And then you'll say, restart. And then I leave and then I come back. And sometimes they'll play music for me a second time, but usually they won't.

A lot of times they're not willing to do that. If they know you, if they like. I think it's part of the joke. If it's like kind of your hometown theater or something. What's your hometown theater? My hometown theater? Yeah. Oh, no.

My hometown theater would be a place called Improv Boston. Oh, wow. And you're not going to believe where it is and what they do. Improv Boston is your hometown? What about Jimmy Tingle's theater? Jimmy Tingle's, I truly was not good enough for Jimmy Tingle's. To make Jimmy Tingle's theater? I never got the Jimmy Tingle's bump.

I was working for it, and then I just knew it wasn't going to happen, so I left town. Time to move. I left town, yeah. move. I left town. At a certain point if Jimmy's not getting the tingles from you, you gotta just get a bus ticket. If you can't tingle Jimmy, there's not going to be anywhere else for you to go. You have to skip town.

I've seen Jimmy tingles. And I love, you know, I've laughed at Jimmy tingles. Sure, yeah. He's good. You were doing... I'd say so. You were doing... He's good. I'd say so. You were doing a podcast. I was doing... Oh, my God.

I was doing a podcast. You were doing the podcast on the joke? The test joke? It was a test joke. And I... But I also studied for the test. They're all test jokes, aren't they? How do you study?

How did I... There's... I had three different apps. You listen to lo-fi chill beats to relax, study to? To relax to. And all 10 hours. If I'm starting it, I'm finishing it. So I would study for 10 hours at a time on the different apps that you could study for the test on.

But it was also a joke, but I was also studying very hard for about a month. Practice, yeah. Every single night for about two hours. But it was mostly a joke. And so I went and I took the test and I've been practicing a lot. So I passed the test. Well, and this gets to something important, which the idea of this podcast and I checked in on it.

I tried to listen to it. Now, what I gather from it is, so the concept is sort of, it's called My Ear Mensa, but really it's called I'm So Smart i'm smarter than haze and sean and they and haze and sean like aren't even in this special smart group and here i am in it and basically that we're supposed to like well i'm glad you picked up on it suck dust right well i'm glad that you picked up on it because i didn't want to have to say it well and you and and in so many words you didn't have to i didn't okay when you're listening and when i listen and you did basically explain that that you were like taking the test as a joke

but then you passed when you know that haze and i have right taken the test i mean hundreds of times which is hard i mean and every time i mean as you know but i just want to let everyone else know every time you take the test you can only take it as yourself once. So you have to be inventing other. You have to be stealing other things. We've been establishing covers. And failing under their names. No, I'm living as a grocery store clerk in Detroit for eight months out of the year trying to build up my cover so that I can go and take the test.

As an entire store, you're going back as same employees in the same store. I have gotten the highest score as Skis Weasley, sort of a zip-faced high school perv. He's a legend in the community.

And so I have, I don't know, like, spent more, like, more time recently as Skis Weasley. Okay.

To, like, try it. Because I feel like he is smarter. He does better on the test than Hayes does. And it becomes confusing where you end and where Skis Weasley begins. And I, of course, as Skis Weasley's foreign exchange student pal, Pierre Monfrere, the French kissing band hit

and you know sort of tied to this man who I see becoming more and more of a zit faced pervert and I am forgetting where's Sean in all this and it's scary frankly for me my family for skis for Hayes for Kevin

for whatever name Kevin could come up with. And I doubt there even is one. Kevin. It's just different Kevin. Let's make space for Kevin. And now it's time to step back and listen. Take up some space, King. Darius.

Darius is Kevin's imaginary friend. Did Darius pass? He did. He did pass. Oh, that's good. Very sad. But the issue is, I put under his address to fully commit, and now he's saying that, oh, did you guys know I have Mensa?

He's like Sharon Stone. She's lying about it, too. He's exactly like Sharon Stone. Oh, no. Just like Sharon Stone. Talk about Sharon Stone. No, talk about Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone has been saying, this is a big Mensa gripe.

So just to let you know what I know. Big Mensa gripe is that Sharon Stone has been saying she's a Mensa for years, but she's not and she's never even taken the test. What about Geena Davis? Yeah. What about Geena Davis? What about Geena Davis? I don't know. She's supposed to have one of the highest IQs

of all time. Gina Davis is in mental. And shoot an arrow. She shoots an arrow? She shoot an arrow. Can she hit a baseball once? Yes. What can't this lady do?

I don't know. All I know about Gina Davis, she says no one's ever said no. But Sharon Stone, people attack Sharon Stone. Yeah. They're like, she didn't take the test. There's no records.

What's her membership number? What is it? What is it? And so, you know, Sharon Stone's a liar. But that's a good lie, I think. This basic instinct star needs to learn some basic manners. Because it's very rude to lie about Mensa. It's bad to lie.

Which, frankly, you probably did. Yeah. Well, thank you for that. You know, I did take the test. Pictures. Pictures of me taking the test. You're not supposed to take pictures. You're not supposed to take pictures.

And the test. Well, I took it before the test. Okay, I can do that. No, I'm not. I take the picture in the test well i took it before the test and okay i can do that okay no i'm not taking a picture no one's saying you can't take a picture right now and that's like okay i need you to like before the test channel a little more skis well i mean it's it's okay you can take pictures before i don't want to be skis can i talk to i can't put him back in once he's out of the box, he can't go back in? Mm-hmm. Okay.

All right. That sounds scary. He's so narsty. And he says that a lot. He says he loves being narsty. Oh, that's so unfortunate. I haven't owned a skeezer, too. So you do this.

Yeah. And you get in. I get in. And what happens? Then I wrote. Not the whole thing. I get in. And what happens? Then I wrote. Not the whole thing. I wrote a test about it. I wrote a test about it.

You mean you wrote a joke about it? Yes. I wrote a joke about it. They're all test jokes in a way, aren't they? You know, what joke isn't a test? And what test isn't a joke? To me? Yeah. Okay, okay.

I'll think about it. I'm sure there's some tests that aren't jokes. Like which one though? Well, I'll have to get back to you. See, I'll have to consult the community. We'll come up with something. So I wrote a joke about it, and then

Mensa found it, and they've got this weird Facebook group that's very aggressive and mean and a little 4chan-y, and they found me, and they started to... The firehouse. The firehouse. My boys.

Wee-oo, wee-oo. Look out, here comes the Mensa firehouse. Bosh is a member of the firehouse. Bosh would Wee-oo-wee-oo. Wee-oo-wee-oo. Look out. Here comes the Mensa Firehouse. Bosch is a member of the Firehouse. Bosch would be a member. I mean, it's a light red pill. It's a light red. My dog participated. I had found out that someone under an assumed Facebook name was, in fact, my own dog harassing

me from the other side of my keyboard. So I logged into the firehouse. You look around the other side, because you can't see what's behind the computer sometimes. Sometimes your dog is there typing on the other side. On a wireless keyboard that he bought. Yeah, it's bad. So...

And you're like, what's that noise? And you're like, I don't want to get involved. I assume, oh, you got a really bad itch he's really you know kicking his paws hard but it's actually he is typing and he is cyber bullying me he's saying mean stuff and he's really

taking the air out of some of my points he just anytime I say something he just links to Joe Biden's website as a retort and that's funny but so Anytime I say something, he just links to Joe Biden's website as a retort. And that's funny. But so the firehouse wee-oo-wee-oo gets mad. In me, they see a fire that has to be extinguished. They must be put in.

They have to be hosed. The hoser's got to hose you out with facts and logic. And so they came in with the plan. Okay, we're seeing a small fire as dutiful citizens. Nothing they can't handle. No. They live in the freaking house that's actually built for that.

There's more people than there are fires. I'm just one fire. Please, yes. So they come at me with the hose and they start to say, Blast your ass. They blasted my ass.

And I was hurt. I was taken, some, some, some, they blasted my ass and I, uh, I was hurt. I was taken off guard. Yeah, kills. Firehouse is extremely powerful. I was completely, I was blown away. It was, so they got me with a hydrant and I'm soaked and I'm extinguished. And then, and then, but, but then once they extinguished me, they were also like, and

we're going to kill you, which is not usually how the fire, the normal firehouse works. They usually just put you out and then you. Some firemen will first put out the fire, then kill you. And then they're like. The extinguished gentlemen. So that brings me to something that I did want to say during this podcast, which is of course you've met the friendly element of Hollywood handbook. Now it's time to meet our criminal element. Chef Kevin.

Chef Kevin. Talk about being arrested, Kevin. Okay. Let's give Kevin some space. Um, well, I, it was, it was a was a boy swallow a little louder that's the story uh it was boys

night on uh boys night yeah uh last leap year on february 20th february 29th is the craziest night of the year For me and my friend Darius And we stole some headphones And immediately got caught From where? Well, it was from my parents' place Oh, okay Yeah And they called the cops Well, it was from my parents' place. Oh, okay. Yeah. And they called the cops.

Your parents' place. Yeah. Wow, this story is fucked up. Both in the telling and the context. It's pretty sensitive. That's really, that's tough. One thing I was curious if you even would have the stones to do

on this show is to give us the Mensa test and actually see who really is the genius. Oh, you want to take the test? Alright. And then people can actually listen to it and be the judge of who is actually the smartest one. I made a whole podcast about it. And then people can actually listen to it and be the judge. Oh. Somebody in the room is a genius.

I know one made a whole podcast about it. Yeah. And the other two were actually just being nice. Yeah. Yeah. And please don't say that to the listeners. Please don't say that. I'm so sorry.

No, not you. What? Them. I'm talking to them. I'm just being like, please don't. It's like sometimes they'll like hear a prompt. And they'll be like, oh, it'd be funny if I actually said this thing If we repeated it So I'll say it

And then you're like please stop And they're like what You said to do it You were begging me I love saying something on a podcast And then not living it down for the rest of my fucking life That's what i live for okay that's the right place yes and that's impact and we did that that's you you did that and that's

why a second podcast even exists yeah that's right you give us the method test okay and we will do it okay wait how many times have you taken it under how many like how many times have you taken it? Under how many, like, how many times have you taken it so far? Let's see. How many times have I taken it? I was only allowed to take it twice. Okay, but... Pierre Monfrere took it twice. Yeah. Skis Weasley took it twice.

Skis Weasley has taken it a number of times. Okay, okay. Nacho Gordito has taken it once. He is not allowed. He is. Yeah. Any more. Same with Cornelius Popcorn.

Uh-huh. Jack Stitcher mug. allowed. Same with Cornelius Popcorn. Jack Stitcher mug. Jimmy Never Not Funny. We take it in this room and they'll come here and we'll just... Oh, they do a home test for you guys. That's really nice. You have to really call that in. There's only one

guy who does it in the whole city. And he... Goes around administering the home test. He administers the home test. And while you're taking the test, he spoils a movie. He spoils one movie every time? And you don't think it's a part of the test, but it is. Oh.

Yeah. Every time you go. You're in the middle of doing a math problem. And then he tells you how hereditary ended. Okay. While you're taking it. Oh, yeah. to see if it takes you out of the math problem the demon there you go

I didn't know that I didn't know that until the middle of the Mensa test and then I had to watch it you have to watch it? and then you have to go with him to a movie theater when I took it he didn't do hereditary

but he was like the women are actually normal size they're just young and I was like oh did you have to go watch it with him after he makes you go watch it with him look I'll show you it's so frustrating because if you take it under a number of identities he will will act like, you know, every single time, even if he knows it's you, he'll act like he doesn't know the movie theater is nearby.

He'll, like, scroll on his phone and be like, oh, did you know that there's actually one showing in, like, an hour? We could even walk there. And it's like we've already done this before. I did this with Hereditary, right? I did this with Marwen. And now I'm supposed to do it. Welcome to Marwen. Well, I'm sorry.

I feel so close to it that I shortened it. And then, you know. No, just. You're right. The movie's welcoming you to Marwen. It would be upsetting if you didn't know where you stood with Marwen before entering the theater. Yeah. Well, I would go, am I even allowed to be here?

It seems sort of private. He's obviously going through some stuff. It's sort of porno stuff for him, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of his little porno dolls. Yeah. But he's like, no, I want you to feel welcome here. And you're like, oh, now I feel safe in your porn world that you made. I like it.

But then, you know, if you go this weekend, maybe he'll be like, oh, let's see, you know, Doolittle and Dolby or whatever. Yeah. He drags his big rolling suitcase to the theater. Yeah. Every time he has to, like, make his big, like, case for why it should be allowed inside. He's got to have his tests with him. So he has to, you know, bring the tests with him to the theater. He's got to have his test with him. Bring the test with him to the theater. He's got AMC pass.

He goes to the Dolby. Stubs. Stubs plus, baby. What is the test? Do the test on me. Watch what happens live. Watch what happens. There's different categories.

It depends on where you want to start. What do we got in the test There's different categories It depends on where you want to start We've got What do we got in the test? Doesn't matter to me, I'm good at all categories Go ahead, name one Pattern Mental brain Okay, you want to start with mental brain?

I would like to start with mental brain category Well then I guess we're moving backwards Because we usually build our way up to mental brain. Mental brain expert level, please. Okay. Okay, they're coming in hot. Mega mind mode. You know, if you say that during the test, he has to shut the lights off.

And that's just been a rule. Okay. Okay, you want to start with mental brain. Okay, so that's a been a rule. Okay. Okay. You want to start with mental brain. Okay. So that's a more difficult category. So for mental brain, normally you would get 30 minutes. Okay. And it's just, you know, two to three questions.

The first two questions are about celebrities. Okay. The first two questions, you need to match a celebrity to their profession. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And it's open to interpretation because some of them, they're on my test. Multi-hyphenates. Multi-hyphenates.

On my test, Bill Cosby was. And then they had both comedian and criminal. And you have to pick one. And you don't know when the test was written. So it's true or false. Okay. Oh and you don't know when the test was written. So it's... Okay. Oh, you don't know if... You don't know.

It was... They're like, what do they think is the right answer? Right. He's not really making money off being a criminal. No. No, I guess, yeah, so there you go.

Yeah, that's maybe not his profession yeah although it is his vocation and that's the kind of skis logic that's gonna get you in okay well if he's not so i draw a little line connecting the picture of bill cosby to the word comedian comedian okay this is something that actually is i think it was like yeah that was on the test so that's the first question okay kevin also had author and actor. What about hyphenates? I mean, what about hyphenates? I don't think that that-

Well, what about hyphenates? I don't think the test really takes hyphenates. Well, you don't know what about it, right? Not that I know of. Yeah, because what if it said like Barry, and then it said Hitman and actor? Okay, but then you have to choose. So then it's like, which one? Well, which is he making money out of? Because he's doing both. So you have to choose Hitman and actor. Okay, but then you have to choose. So then it's like, which one? Well, which is he making money off of?

Because he's doing both. So you have to choose Hitman, right? Because that's how he makes his money. He's not making money off of acting yet, of course. Yeah, nobody will. Season three, he's going to start. He's got something. There's something about him.

There's something about him people are responding to immediately. He's very talented, and he's got the training to back it up. And it's, honestly, that's my Los Angeles. Wow. Is when you see somebody sort of struggling on stage, you go, let's all circle around this person and try to help them. Let's rally around. A community immediately forms and goes, let's try to get this guy some help. And the guy, little do you know,

has some other stuff going on and your support... But don't we all? But I did know. And don't we always know? Well, that brings us back to the mental brain questions. Almost anyone other than Kevin has some other stuff going on.

You know? At some level, they have some other stuff going on. Now his happened to be pretty extreme, a lot of baggage. Well, sure. I mean, I don't even want to ask him to unpack why his parents called the cops on him. No. This is a guy without other stuff going on.

Even he seems to have a hint of a story back there. Yeah. Well, I mean, everyone's got it. Put it on HBO Max. I'd watch it. I cannot wait for HBO Max. Are you dying? I'm literally dying.

I'm refreshing it. Can't stop refreshing it. I can't. I'm like, what if they change their minds? No. I have not slept in a month. I'm thinking about that. I sit bolt upright in my bed.

Or what if they forget? You can't. in a month I'm thinking about that. I sit bolt upright in my bed and I go, you can't! Because I have this nightmare where it's the last day that they're about to activate HBO Max and then the person is at the switch and they go, eh, never mind.

And I sit up and I go, no! I get every email for HBO Max. I get 17 emails a day talking about different things that have been greenlit. I don't know what any of them are. I'm going to watch all of it. The content. I will be sinking my teeth in.

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It's none of this, like's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal yeah it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal.

The promises the meal makes a sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay a lot of these. I know give you a ton of energy. They have like smoothies and things like that reservation for two me walking

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Part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babbles designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them they're pulling it what does that mean does their finger hurt i wonder if they spotted a spider web or something they're trying to pull down the spider down yeah but i've seen this too after a lot of dates and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure

out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as I'm going. That's what I've been doing. That seems dangerous. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible,

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that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money.com slash the boys that's rocket money.com slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys hollywood handbook ask uh ask uh kevin question, so Kevin, I'm going to give you... Kevin's in his own club. You want to know what it's called?

Yeah, what is it called? Densa. Whoa. Oh, shit, that's so mean. He went there. Joke test. Okay, Kevin, I'm going to... Joke test starts now.

I'm going to give you a question from... This is a celebrity question, but there's also a write-in option so the question is Sebastian Stan and there's a write-in option

okay so here are some things you can choose actor, activist social media sensation, fun on interview shows. Okay. And I don't know who that is. You know, it's interesting because I don't know when this test was written, but his first name has actually been legally changed. To what?

We have no choice but to that's a smart move for that's a smart move for him yes that's a smart move i don't know it's just his photo anytime you look at imdb it's his photo it says we have no choice but to stand oh you slowly get gaslit into believing that that might be true. Yeah. I've seen Sebastian Stan in so many movies, and I don't know. Who is, I don't know who that is. Who's he? Who is he? Yeah, who is the man?

I know the role. The man behind the Stan. It's like Kevin actually answer. Yeah, Kevin. Kevin trying to answer. You can choose one of those, or you can write something in. If you even think you can. Social media sensation.

And then an underlying sensation. Okay. Okay. Okay. So that is not the right answer. That's the wrong answer. Had a feeling. Yeah.

That's dense and material right there. It could have been one of three. No Mensa for Kevin. Wait, there was a write-in? Kevin gets Mercer instead. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sean said we have no choice but to. I think I would write an apology to my parents in the write-in.

Okay. Don't say. Okay, you could do that, but unless you also listed their address. But your parents get the test, yeah. Yeah, you have to list their address or Mensa won't know where to mail the apology. I've been getting some emails from you that are apologies to your parents. Have you just been putting it in the write-in section? Get it to them. Send them.

You can just send a text. I thought it would mean more if it was coming from someone of significance. Oh, okay. So you want us to be like, hey, Kevin's mom, I really think this is important that you should see this.

Yeah. When the Mensa man comes to your door. Kevin is really sorry. Yeah. I just watched Colin Anderson come into the little side booth to watch us. And then as soon as he saw we were talking to Kevin, he just stood up and left. I would say he stomped out. He hates that we do that.

He stomped out. And so do some of the fans. So we want the test as well. Okay. Okay, you want the test? And go ahead and give me an Ask Me mental brain. And do the test.

You want a mental brain. Okay. So, okay. For the mental brain section, there's also some word problems. There's also some puzzles. And again, you've got... No such thing as word problems. Yeah, not a problem for me. Word problem. Okay, some word problems. There's also some puzzles. Please. No such thing as word problems. Not a problem for me.

Word problem. Okay. Only word solutions. That's a good attitude to go in. Okay. There's problematic words. Could you list five? Yeah, absolutely.

Okay. Well, that's not the question, but I would just like to cancel you live on this podcast today. That was a trap. It's not live. You got out of it. But we will release it. This is not. But make no mistake, we will not edit it out.

I like sometimes when I say something terrible on a podcast, I like to follow up, contact them and be like, just so you know, I want that left it. I realize what I said. It sounded all wrong. It's the kind of thing that you might cut to protect me. It was not even what I was trying to say. We all felt the room died when I said it. I shouldn't have used any of the words I use in the order I use them. But I'm ready to face the consequences, even though I could have an outright.

And I will sue you if you leave it in. Of course. I'll say I'm being censored. Okay, so I'm going to give you a word problem. Please. Okay. And that's what we wanted you to do. Okay, okay.

So. Did I ask for that? Okay, Sean. Okay. If you can just give me, I'm trying that. Okay. Sean. Okay. If you can just give me, I'm trying to loft here and you're making it. Okay. So Kevin. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh, has $14. I know. Mm. Um, I loaned it to him. Okay. Well, you can maybe include that in the write-in section. Okay.

Kevin has $14. The headphones he wants... It's mine, though. ...are $22. Kevin can... Yeah. Steal from his parents? Steal.

No. No, no, no. No, yeah. Kevin can go to work. I'm just kidding. Kevin. I know. I'm seeing if Kevin knows.

You're fitting right in to the little wee-oo-wee-oo firehouse. Go ahead. Okay. Kevin has $14. The headphones he wants are $22. Yeah. How is Kevin going to acquire the remaining $8? Option A, he can ask Sean.

Ask me. For $8 more, even though he already asked you for the first $14, which we know. Second option, he can steal from his parents. Steal from his parents, okay. Third option. No, that's not. Third option option he says I don't need headphones

he listens to his phone outside without headphones for the rest of his life uh huh just the speaker playing and then when somebody outside

if somebody comes by somebody jogs by you on Runyon or whatever with just their phone speaker playing and you go what the fuck with that person

are you like maybe their backstory is as complicated as Kevin's where they just maybe if you stopped them and said hey can I lend you $8 you would be changing their fucking life yeah and they wouldn't have to do that they wouldn't have to you wouldn't have to listen to their

what their I just learned who Gary Clark Jr. was again last week you wouldn't have to listen to their Gary Clark Jr. as they jog by. Wouldn't be playing, yeah. Kevin likes to say it's not worth his time to bend over and pick up $8 off the ground. That's what he makes here. It's generally not a good use of his time to pick up that money. Okay, good for him.

It is good for him. Fourth, you can go to the hospital. Fifth is the write in option Okay I mean I'm going to go to the hospital Okay Do you write in go to the hospital as well? You can

If you write in I mean I have to get to the hospital That's an auto pass I mean I'm unwell That's an auto pass because that's a little sneaky It's a little funny And you're going to fit right in here I've got to get to the hospital. That's an auto pass. I mean, I'm unwell. That's an auto pass because that's a little sneaky. It's a little funny. And you're going to fit right in here. I've got to get to the hospital.

Yes. Pronto. A big part of this is sneakiness and being a little funny. Tricking them and having no sense of humor. It's if you have a little bit of randomness coursing through your veins. Yes, Geico. You're in. If you're violent and random, you're in.

Yes. Do you have what it takes? Are you, first of all, soy random? Yes. Are you, second of all, so mad? Yeah. You're in. You did it.

No, I'm furious. And it's actually my profile picture on my Metzikart is going to be me karate kicking the Geico lizard. Because that's random. Mine's going to be a different lizard, but my lizard is going to be Rango, but it's going to be changed to random. Oh, I love that. Guys, you're going to fit in. I just washed my brain pool shirt this morning. And I was just reflecting on the good times.

Watch what happens. Do you want to hear my celebrity impression? Yeah. This is Marlon Brando. Okay, go, go. I'm going to make him a funny joke they can't refuse. Yeah, that was real good. I am. That was real good. And I'm back. Refuse. Yeah, that was real good. I am.

That was real good. And I'm back. Okay, and you're back. And you're back. And Marlon Rando passed the mental test as well. Ryan, what's up with you? You don't even react to, at least be reacting to. Yes, thank you.

Good experiment, Ryan. That was a good experiment. That experiment passed. How do you know if experimental music is... How do you know how the experiment turned out? That sounded a little like part of Rock and Roll Part 2. It would be funny if Ryan was just doing jock jams now. It would be a cool evolution of his sound. He just starts doing stadium rock.

This is what I was working towards all the time. I was not able to make these sounds, but now my ability have caught up with my aspirations. And I can play It Takes Two. Okay, Jamie. Yeah. You have the, let me see the card. Do you have the card on you?

I got, yeah, I got two cards on me. Okay. Let me look at it. All right, let me see. I got to find my cards. I got a lot of cards. Cardy B over here. Here's one of my cards.

Here's one of my cards. There's an old tape on the back. You got to be careful. Says Mensa. Oh, this tape is so old. Oh yeah, hit me with that one.

Oh yeah, here's the second one. Yep. You can check my membership number. The number of Mensa's. Yeah.

We're a community of like minds. Yeah. Well, what if it said this? We're a community of like minds and we also do like minds. Yeah. Well, what if it said this? We're a community of like minds, and we also do like minds. Ah.

So you can offer them some punch up, but they will grab your arm. They will grab your arm. What's SIGs? They'll grab your arm? They'll grab your arm. Squeeze your arm. What part? Oh, the front?

The front? You're going to get a forearm grab. You can offer feedback, but it's with the understanding that whoever you're talking to is going to grab your arm. Oh, wow. Yeah, and then wee-oo-wee-oo, you got to go. You got to get out of there because you're becoming a fire. What's a SIG? It's a special interest group.

Wow. This symbol is, wow. There's so many. Where intellectual and social opportunities abound, including the Mensa Bulletin, SIGS, and your local group, the Mensa Foundation, and our many events. What was the tape for? The tape, I was taping it to sunglasses. So I could just, so that's where the tape comes in. That's a little test that I did. It was taping my Mensa cards to sunglasses.

This one's better. That's the new one. Let me see the other one then. Okay, this is the old one. This one's got tape too. Is there anything better on a podcast than listening to two people look at a card? Read membership cards. No, the SIGs are groups within groups that are more specifically frustrating.

So there's like, you got your Weeoo Weeoo group. They have a whole floor of a hotel. Wow. It's a big old group. You've got your Donald Trump cardboard cutouts. Okay. You've got some strong opinions. You've got facts in there.

You've got logic in there. You've got a lot of people wanting to grab your forearm in there. Yes, okay. Right? It's very dark. There's a lot of home brewers in there. Dark hotel, yes. A lot of people coming in saying like, hey, I made this mead. I made this mead. And then you're like, I don't want this mead.

And then they're like, take the mead. And I'm like, okay. And so you take a cup of mead. And then once you take the cup, the guy says, you have to sign the mead tag. And I'm like, I don't so you take a cup of mead. And then once you take the cup, the guy says, you have to sign the mead tag. And I'm like, I don't want to sign. And then he hands you a permanent marker. He hands you the mead tag, which is huge. It's a huge wooden tag that he's brought to make everyone who tries his mead.

And then he stands there and waits for you to sip it. And then you go, mmm. And then he says, awesome. He's also wearing a pirate costume. Mead the parents. go, mmm. And then he says, awesome. He's also wearing a pirate costume. Meet the parents. Ah, yes. Sounds great. It's a good group.

That actually sounds nice. Yeah. You got your Gen X group. You got your Gen Y group. And your Gen Y not group. Yeah. And that. And I'm going to make him a funny jokey camera.

Please. And that, and I'm going to make him a funny jokey caracuse. A lot of things were better in times when guys got to be a knight. I totally agree. Oh my gosh. We've gotten so far away from our roots of being actually a knight, a mighty and noble knight. It's frustrating. It sucks.

And some guys who are in these groups maybe feel like that's what they would have been allowed to do is go around sorting everyone. And yeah, they're going to dress like it. And yeah, they're going to throw open the door for you. They're going to throw open the door so hard it hits the wall and then slams back. And yeah, maybe hits them. Yeah. And then you hit the floor and they say, you are welcome. And then they walk away.

And that's what they missed those days. But in their defense in those days, the doors were much heavier. Violently polite. No, the doors were so much wood. Yeah, they were. Well, the wood was thicker. Well, the wood was thicker. It wasn't always this soy boy wood that they have now. Soy boy Sheraton Vistana villages.

It's mostly boys. Yeah, but there's more girls around than you'd think. Okay. Why wouldn't I think there'd be girls in the group? Okay, first of all, I'm so sorry for assuming that you would think, even though Hayes did just say it. I think Hayes, I was referencing what you were saying. I think it's all girls in there. Only girls.

Yes. I'd like to backpedal a little bit and say this is all my fault, and I'm so sorry. I like this part of the show. And I just want to let you know that- backpedal a little bit and say, this is all my fault and I'm so sorry. I like this part of the show. And I just want to let you know that- I wish this was happening when I listen to your podcast rather than it just being about how smart you are. It would be great if you said that the whole podcast that we have ever done is your fault and that you're sorry.

And apologize to the listeners, please, because a lot of people have spent a lot of time listening to this. I'd like to backpedal, yeah, a little bit more from where I just was. And I'd like to blanket apologize. Going back to what year should I start apologizing it? Boy. What's the... Do we want to apologize for reality show show as well?

There must be some stuff. Yeah. Before that. Okay. Even earlier? Yeah. From us? I guess we could apologize for Alan Gregory.

I mean, that... That's fair. I'll take account. That was on me. There were some groups, some parent groups that were upset. That's on me. I'm sorry about that. I mean, it's harder for me to apologize for the premium catalog. Oh!

It's hard, you know, because I don't have access to it. Kevin, can we get her a code? Kevin, can I get a code? Because I would like to take accountability for the premium catalog, but I just need to know the full scope of what I'm taking. Colin, can we get Jamie a host code, please? I see you in there.

Uncle Pennybags. Thumbs up. He does have thumbs up. Hit the thumbs up hit the thumbs up let's get Jimmy a host so she can apologize for the entire catalog in like the Roman Emperor way

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harry's we always talk about harry's first and then we talk about you clean har Harry, who are sort of our new mascot, I don't know, for this campaign. Talk about Harry's first. What we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently. A ridiculous or fun situation that you were in recently. That's the prompt, and that'll take us into discussing the product particularly funny to me or funny to just anyone i i mean do you you feel like there's a difference there like you yeah i mean i've had things happen to me that i suppose you would find funny okay but that you didn't find funny and and you have not really and you have things that have happened that you would find funny but the rest of the world would not yeah i guess i'm interested in that one that i would

find funny yes but that others would not find funny you seem to think that you have like a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not i ordered uh um like a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night like a lavender scent okay and uh they they accidentally sent me two okay so you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous but but you but you do i just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the at the shipping uh warehouse harry saw customers getting screwed over by questionable that's a come up overpriced shaving product. Clean Harry on the come up. I decided to do something better. Instead of charging the same stupid high prices,

Harry's found their own way to make beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price of other big brands. Bogo, baby. Exceptional products, honest prices. Is there a bogo as part of this? Because I don't want to be talking about deals that aren't. No, but I clean Harry Punk. Actually got two bottles. Buy one, get one.

Their deodorant, their lotion, their body wash, their hair gel, all very high quality products. They all smell great. German engineer blades made in their own factory. They stay sharp longer. You get a five blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel gel and a travel cover for just three bucks at harry's.com slash the boys highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry no risk trial don't like your shave no worries it's on them getting ripped off isn't funny do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find funny? Yes, sure, but that you didn't.

Yeah. So you're attuned to this stuff. I got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat, and it somehow turned on. And you know that that was something other people would find funny based on the responses you were getting. A lot of people inside that laundromat seem to find it pretty humorous. When my legs started spinning around and flipping me over,

what happened was I was holding my laundry basket with both hands and I saw, ooh, still a sock left in the dryer. So I stuck my foot in and tried to pick it up with my little toesies. I wear sandals. Punk. And as I'm picking it up, I just sort of tripped. And my foot got wedged in between. There's like slats in there.

And it's stuck inside there. And then I don't know who, somebody pushed the button or what. But it turned on. And the thing starts flipping over. And I'm flying in circles help punk help me you punks are your clothes staying in the basket are you going fast no no no i'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle get started with a $13 trial set for just three dollars at harrys.com slash the boys that's harrys.com slash the boys. That's harrys.com slash the boys for a $3 trial set.

That was something that you would see in the mead room. You would see. So people, they got their mead. They got their little cups with their mead. And they would cross their arms with each other. Like it was like a Roman senator thing. And then you take a sip. Yes, I give you my mead, you give me your mead.

It's symbolic. Ha! They're talking about this. Ha-ha! And did they explain to you why the tradition of cheers and glasses existed? Oh, I mean, what did they explain to me? They explained cup to me. They're like, now, before you take a sip.

So, this is cup. Before you take a sip, I want you to understand exactly the ingenuity of what you're taking a sip from. The concave, and tell me when you need me to back up, structure. Allow juice to hold still. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I just want to stop you and say, thank you so much for telling me this. Because I was just going to go into this feeling completely ignorant to the history of cup. Before you touch cup, okay, must be not upside down. Or juice will fall.

If I reach for the cup, I want someone to go, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then explain to me cup before i pick it up so i know stop freeze i that's what that's what made me a good fit for because i i'll go to the the fellow the the mensa boys and i'll say you know um now guys i'm not like other girls you've met i want you to tell me what everything is. How the cup. I want to know. What is cup?

I want you to explain cup to me. I don't know what cup is. I'm not afraid to say so. And then they start rubbing their hands together. They start rubbing their hands because everyone wants to tell you what cup is. And, you know, you let them do it in groups over the course of a couple of days. There's women in Mensa but most of them are pro-life

so you know it was a give and a take they listen to the show? some of them did yeah but I left they're loving it first of all

they think it's absolutely epic and incredible. Wow. Yeah. Wind sauce. Wind sauce. Epic wind. Uh-huh.

And someone who. Don't go off, I guess. A little arm grabber followed up with me to let me know that he hadn't grabbed my arm. And I was like. Oh. So then I got to send him. And I was like, so then I got to send him a message that was like... Wait, did you name his name or did he just like, okay, so he was just like

assumed it was him and he's like, actually I didn't do that. I remember that night. That wasn't me. Actually, I was reaching for cup and your arm was in the way. You would know that if you understood what cup is, but you did not let me explain. If you understood cup grip, you would know that I grabbed your arm with a cup grip because

I mistook your arm for cup. So, but I got some friendly messages, some messages saying, hey, you misunderstood when I arm gripped. Which is likely, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, which I understand. And then I get the opportunity to take a step back and backpedal a little bit and say, I'm so sorry.

And then I'm working right now on the follow-up, which is I take it all back. Yeah, and I'm sorry. Yes, and I'm sorry for, and please take back our entire catalog, including the premium. Well, I mean, once Colin gets me that code, I can't wait to take account of it. Years and years and years and years.

And Kevin, do you just want to, as people are listening to this, explain what technical troubleshooting you'll be doing this week so they don't have to post about it? This week, you'll want to log out of Stitcher and log back in. And if you have an issue with it DM me on Reddit. Do not post about it on the episode. Does that make you mad?

I actually love it. Kevin doesn't use email anymore. He just operates. He does all his business in Reddit. There used to sometimes be conversation around our episode that would be like i liked this joke or like jamie was a good guest but now the conversation is mostly like i can't hear the ads and the episode won't play i can't hear anything they either can't hear anything or

too much we get a lot that there's four streams Playing at the same time It's like the friggin end of Ghostbusters But this is obviously Look this is a mom and pa Operation Yeah Little rinky dink shop Conan hammered up a shingle Over the door

I love it I like the kind of podcast I it. I like the kind of podcast. I was thinking, I was like, man, I like the kind of podcast where you go to someone's house. Preferably at 1 p.m. on a weekday. And it's going to say that that's your whole day. It's gone. They live. They live.

You can see Mount Washington from. For sure. They open the door and they're kind of like blinking sleep out of their eyes. It's 1 p.m. They're waking up. They're so far away. They're surprised they have a show. Right.

And I say, hey, I don't drive, so I'm going to have to take three buses to get there. And they say, oh, that's fine. Like I was checking with them. No, that's okay. Oh, that buses to get there. And they say, oh, that's fine. Like I was checking with them. No, that's okay. Oh, that's no worries. If you're a little late, that's fine. I'm like, okay. And then you show up and then they're like, all right, let me tell you what the show is about.

You're also sitting on their bed. That's still warm from their sleeping. And then they say, all right, so here's what. And then they put their phone out and they're like oh that's the recorder okay it's their phone they got notes open they press record because they start recording without telling you and that's that's when you get some of the funniest shit some of the format right that's and they're they're like okay no it's so raw people love getting inside there and hearing like how the bus ride was or whatever before you start to talk.

Oh, I like a slow fit. I like a slow fit. It's like, oh, so you took the bus here. The slow increase. I was like, oh, that was a choice. Cool, cool, cool. Hey, don't sit on my girlfriend. She works nights.

So she's sleeping in the other room. There's also a hungry animal in the room. And they're nudging you. No, we gave Bosh the snack. Bosh has had the snack in the beginning. This one, we don't think to give a snack until the middle. But it's 1 p.m. and the animal's so hungry because their owner's been sleeping so much. And they're like, okay, so I was the best ride.

Do you just want to say Gabrus' name? Seems unfair. Seems unfair on the bed. But then in the podcast, you said yes because you're like, I'm going to say yes. I don't like saying no. I'm going to say yes.

That's the secret of the business. Say yes to everything. Say yes to everything, especially shit. That sucks. Middle of the day, Simi Valley, opportunity. This is where I go. And so then the name of the podcast, maybe it doesn't really tell you what it's about.

And you're the second episode they're recording. So there's nothing to compare it to. And you're like, okay, so here's what we're going to do. And the premise is you have to tell them the worst thing that's ever happened to you. But don't make it like fucked up, like sad. Yeah. No. Oh, and then the second you say the worst thing that's ever happened to you because you're game and you want fucked up, like sad. Yeah. No.

Oh, and then the second you say the worst thing that's ever happened to you because you're game and you want to participate, they go, oh. Yes. That's right. Yeah. And it's a two hour record. Uh-huh. So you're there until 3 p.m. And you're the second episode they're recording that day, but you're being released tomorrow.

Yeah, the hosts are. So they're not going to edit it. it there's someone who they don't like what you're doing no they're like why would you say that you know like oh and then they're like oh well i thought you know you're i thought this would be a like a funny and i was like oh but you asked me about the worst thing that ever happened to me and they're like well i'm not really equipped to discuss that with you uh and then you say the problem, and then they're like, well, that's a little problematic, don't you think? And they kind of push back.

Yeah, and then you're making them deal with it, which is rude. And then it's two hours later, and you're like, could I have a glass of water? And they're like, oh. And they don't have water. They don't have water because something's wrong. The water is weird. The water is being weird right now.

Something's wrong with the pipes. There's little bubbles in the water that don't belong there. And it's out of an old cup. Yeah, the cup is dirty and the water is very hot. Something's floating in the cup. They're like, this is as cold as we can get it. It's boiling hot. But here's what I don't want.

I don't want to get to the pearly gates and I go, God, why didn't you make me famous? And he goes, what are you talking about? I sent you a Simi Valley podcast episode. I sent you three bus rides to get to somebody's apartment where they were still asleep. I sent you a phone recording you without your knowledge for a half an hour before you started the show. I sent you a girlfriend walking in the middle. And he says, I sent you these things.

Yeah. And then, so it's like, oh, right. You weren't going to do the work for me. Like all these people were your messengers. Yes. Saying yes to everything has improved my life so much. I've made friends this way. You have, because sometimes the, where I don't usually make friends with the host doing this,

but I do make friends with his girlfriend who walks into the middle of the record where you're like, I feel like I'm going to cry. I'm talking about the worst thing that has ever happened to me. She walks in, she says, excuse me. Um, I'm sorry. Uh, could you move your car? Yes. I have to sit there for 15 minutes because they only have one spot.

And so he has to find street parking. And I'm just sitting there thinking about the worst thing that's ever happened. And then he comes back and he says, where were we? And I think that the important thing to mention as well is that you do talk about the worst thing that's ever happened to you. And then you watch the entirety of Encino Man with the sound off. It's like also the premise of the show. That happens every episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's nice because it's only a four or five hour commitment. Yeah, it's nice. You get out at 6 p.m. You're like, oh, it's dark now. Peak bus time. It's dark now. And I have to take three buses back to my house thinking about the worst thing that's ever happened to me. And then the podcast never comes out.

It doesn't come out? No, it can't. It never comes out. They contact you a month later, and they're like, I realized that the concept of the podcast was maybe a little flawed. After the 10th guest, I realized that people weren't happy with it, and I don't think that it has any cultural value. But they figured it out.

They have a new one that now you can come back and do. Yeah. Talk to somebody you used to be friends with about why your friendship fell apart. And then we'll watch Encino Man, just the sound. And we're going to live stream it. And you tell me what you missed the first time. That's very nice. Yeah, there is possibly a large community of people

with like a variation on the sex, lies, and videotape fetish. They're just collecting sound of podcasters telling uncomfortable stories and it's only for their personal collection. Home podcasters telling uncomfortable stories and it's only for their personal collection. Home podcasters are God's army. They are heroes. Warm places.

I want to go to as many warm tiny houses as possible. They're so warm. They're so warm. The sun is coming through the window so hard. The houses keep... Oh shit, did you want half a rice cake? the window so hard. The houses keep getting... Oh shit, did you want half a rice cake? I'm so sorry.

Or yeah, you can... They're like, I just finished lunch. And you're like, I can smell it. I know, I know. You want a coffee cake with tuna fish on it? Sweet and salty. I don't think that is. Bye.