Hollywood Handbook - Jarrad Paul, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: December 8, 2014

Hayes and Sean start the show by addressing some of the criticism for the last episode with Pauly Shore in an edition of "Ehh... Wrong!", where intern Andy is back to help the guys fight the online storm. Then, actor, director, screenwriter, and friend JARRAD PAUL is in the studio to share the 6 rules of filmmaking. Finally, the Popcorn Gallery is back with a special twist!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. window sill and if you're gonna be Pippen you gotta get this right and she was like what was I doing and I was like you were getting rebounds and play good defense because clearly you think that this is about Scottie Pippen and it's not even about a boy yeah and and she and so she really didn't find her corner of the sky in that respect in that respect it's just a reference to the you know the sort of refrain of that show. In retrospect, also... Who was playing Charlemagne? I'm sorry. It was the whole...

It was all former VIEW panelists. So it was Elizabeth, formerly Falarski, now Hasselbeck. Yes. Because it's funny because Charlemagne has the like... You know, like that tenor. Yes. The lower register. But that sheor. Yes, the lower register. But that she's coming in at the, ah, like this.

That works. Yes. That works very well. And then Behar's the leading player. Mm-hmm. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to those rehearsals. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to those rehearsals. You know, you were, I'm not going to say that you weren't missed.

I'm not going to like. You sure came off great. I'm not going to act like it couldn't have been better if you weren't there. I'm not going to say that you weren't missed I'm not going to like you still came off great I'm not going to act like it couldn't have been better if you weren't there I'm not going to say that I'm not going to

pretend that that's the case no you pulled it off I mean you didn't need me well you didn't need me well I'm not as I said I'm not going to pretend

there's things I would have done differently but yeah no it was great it was great hey welcome to Hollywood Handbook an insider's guide

to kicking butt and dropping games in the red carpet linebacker hallways of this industry we call showbiz. I just finished that, and then what did you say? The poor people wound up liking the show. Well, yes, because there's that element in the play

where I think there are some poor people in the cast. Yes, no, there are. In rags. What up, what up? So the show's starting now, and Hayes and I are doing it. We wanted to talk about last week's episode. It's when we were very excited for having someone... We were excited for it to get in your ears.

Yes. And a lot of times when I'm doing this, I'm thinking, ooh, this is going to sound so good in their ears. Yes. And I'm thinking about you guys. We're not excited. We're never excited for us. We're excited for thinking about you listening to the show and saying, oh, all right, I see thinking about you guys. We're not excited. We're never excited for us. We're excited for thinking about you listening to the

show and saying, oh, alright. I see what they did there. Trust me. I don't do it for me. I don't need this. So, we are doing it for you. And so, imagine our being surprised when we

turn on the TV the next day and we read all the comments because it's being projected from the computer up there. Yes, and smart TVs. And we read all the comments and we're expecting people to be saying, hooray, and you did a nice job. I like the show.

Well, I don't drive halfway across town to look at Hayes' smart TV to get disappointed with bad news. Because we read the comments and it's just, what's obvious to me is that some people did not get it. They didn't understand what was happening with the show. And they took it out on someone else. And they're frustrated and mad.

They took it out on someone else. Well, and it's their who should have been their lizard brains are just having them feel left out yes it's fight or flight oh if I don't get it

then it must be someone else's fault and so we have to do a segment that we wished we would never do again and it's called ain't wrong

and this is the Pauly Shore edition and it's called ain't wrong about Pauly Shore and you guys better really called Ain't Wrong About Pauly Shore, and you guys better really listen up and learn. That's the end of the title now. So.

So we're going to. Starting now, we're not doing the title anymore, and we're in the segment. So we've had our intern, Andy, say something short. Oh, yeah. Hello. You know what would have been. Something about comedy you should know,

and I think he's going to give you the same note. Here's a little quick lesson. When someone tells you to say, like, for example, when I say say something short, you should have said the words. Don't say it. Let me do it. You should have said the words something short. And that's it.

Martin Short. That makes me so angry that you would try to do something like that. You didn't even let him fucking finish. And I, Martin Short? Because you wouldn't have been able to come up with something that good if I hadn't given you the earlier something short and to act like that was all your idea is very mad making for me. And trying to one up and trying to one up Hayes. And acting like that was.

And embarrass him in front of me and Cody. To say something really funny and then to be like, oh, like I have all the credit for that. When I was the one who gave you the idea to even make a joke. To even make a joke. You're right. We were trying to help you say something funny. Now say something funny. Martin Short. That's pretty good. Yeah, that is good.

That's pretty good. Anyway, I got all the bad reviews off of the internet. The whole fucking point! Go ahead. I searched online and I got all the bad reviews off of the internet. The whole fucking point. Go ahead. I searched online and I got all the reviews that people didn't like the show for you guys. Thank you, Andy. You're welcome. Do say hi to your dad.

We do appreciate you being here. Yeah, definitely. So we'll just go through some of these different reviews. Let's start. That Martin Short thing was really good the second time. Yeah. That's really good because you could have said. And that one I honestly had nothing to do with.

The first one I think was mostly me because I was the one who even reminded him to make a joke. I didn't think of it. Right? Am I losing a step? I tell you what happened the other day. Oh, no. I woke up

And my sheets are soaked Oh Sean I don't think I peed But there shouldn't be that much sweat And my throat's all dry Did I tell you from Thursday? No I fell in the tub

Oh Hayes I told you from Thursday? No. I fell in the tub. Oh, Hayes. I told you to get the bar. Put that bar in. I know. I did get it, and I tried to grab for it. But the bar was all slippery because you didn't tell me the bar gets really wet. You're supposed to.

You've got to get a bar guard. You do have to put a grip on it. So I hit my head on the bar first, going and then on the faucet and then on the tub. Well, you know I understand. That's why I knew to tell you to get the bar. I mean, I did it. Who found you? Conchita. Yeah.

And she actually handled it really well because she was V was vladi divax person a while ago so she's had to clean up a lot of like bigger messes than just like me you know european stuff so yeah so um it's uh i have these i have these ready to go we can can just do it. Good, thank you. I fucking am so out of it. So there's some on this Reddit, and you said it's not the main one. It's a special, like a miniature. Yeah, it's a subreddit. It's the Earwolf subreddit, and they're big fans of you guys there. Well, not to read some of these things that you put together for me to read.

Yeah, you never know from some of what I'm looking at. I'm sorry. Some of the names on this table, you know people write their names on this table and this thing? Yeah, we should, yeah. But I'm just looking at it because I got sad for a minute when I was just thinking about kind of what's going on. This is what you're looking down. I'm looking down at these names. And I don't know who the fuck

these people are and they've written their name down and what makes it occur to me is somebody asked these people to do their podcast.

Like, these people got invited to be on another show. Yeah. And I didn't. Mm-hmm. And have you lost the step? Have you lost lost this up i'm thinking the same thing you know whose name you don't find on this table hayes dunford i don't see it anywhere and it's not

mine and there's somebody named i mean i'm just gonna look at some of these there's one right in front of you the danielle schneider never in my life. Dono. Deanna Raphael. Elisa Skinner or something. Dan Leeper. This one looks like Rick Overton. Rick Overton. Chris Thayer. Literally none of these names. I have no contact. I don't know what they've done. David Kentucky Coleman.

It is very upsetting. I know this. Is it us or it's us or Earwolf. All these people were more... One of us is bad. All these people were more appealing to have as guests than me on various shows, apparently. And they write these big... And they don't have the same last name as other hosts, because then I go, oh, it's your sister or something.

But that's not what's going on. Yeah, they write it huge. I guess they're one chance. I fucking have put my name i've signed up plenty of shit anyway let's do the uh yes let's read some of these comments this is one on on the small reddit from slainer and it says paulie sure, LOL. He just didn't fit in at all. That's completely wrong. The truth is, Pauly Shore was actually really good.

And I don't know if you're saying LOL because the idea of him being bad is a funny trick. But the actual truth of what happened was, he came on the show as a nice present for us and for you, and he turned out to be very good. Slainer, here's a tip for you. And that is if that LOL, like what Hayes said, is meant to be sarcastic, the irony doesn't really read. There's no tone in your writing. irony doesn't really read. There's no tone in your writing. So when you do write something like that, you do open yourself up

to really take a sound drubbing and that's what you're getting from me and Hayes. Put the LOL in quotes please and then we'll talk. Because he actually did get it and was very good and I hope that your name is not that you're somehow the child

of Bobby Slayton and, you know... Florence Griffith Joyner. And Florence Griffith Joyner, because I respect both of them so much, and I would hate to think that I'm insulting their son and that that's how you got your name is you combined your two parents' last names, because I think they're great. Here's a comment from promo mix regarding polyshore this was straight up painful

this was straight up painful to listen to a points the entire polyshore part of the episode is one of those points it was really bad wrong it just so happens that the episode was actually very good he had a good energy he was being funny he was willing to cooperate with us and here you go here's what's wrong uh here's my review of your review this was straight up painful to read at points the whole time you were writing is one of those points and I'm having to read it. So it actually was funny and nice and he was being cool and good and engaged. And I was actually crushing too with him and Hayes actually made me laugh even harder than some of my stuff did. And so let's go down the list.

Pauly Shore did a good job. Hayes was very good. Sean did a really great job. That's everybody who's even go down the list. Pauly Shore did a good job. Hayes was very good. Sean did a really great job. That's everybody who's even being on the show. So when you put that all together, one plus one plus one equals one good show. Now the math checks out, professor, and that's the nerd character.

Let's go to one of these other parts where there's people talking in a list and it says something awful at the top and it's like a bunch of it looks like the earwolf one but it's gray what's the story with this is this just another it's just yeah another message for another system another website where they talk about podcasts and stuff, and they talk about you. Okay. Here's a comment, I guess, from someone called Help I'm Alive.

And the comment is, Man, the guest segment in today's Hollywood A-Book is painful. Once again, wrong. Continued use of the word painful is there some internet meaning for painful that i don't know about because it's literally the opposite of what you're saying listening to this episode it should feel like a full body massage yes it should be i wonder if your brain and humor i wonder if it means happy where it should be like this was straight up happy to listen to at points

or like the guest segment of today's Hollywood Handbook is happy. Or thrilling. Yes. Because I almost think of our show as a high speed car chase for your ears. But with jokes. So like The Chase. And smart

stuff. The-hmm. The movie Charlie Sheen and a babe. Oh, yeah, and she fucks him up in the car while he's driving. While they're going so fast. She gets over him. And so it's like. And Flea is chasing him in the monster truck. And so it's like you do the.

Rollins is in it. Keat is in it. You do the sex noises. Chrissy Swanson's noises. And I'll do the driving noises. Okay, yeah, yeah. And you didn't even get to hear the music in that part, which is the coolest part of it all.

Well, yeah, all great musicians are the movie, and then some of them would get their songs. And so, speaking of other things that were good, the Pauly Shore episode. He had a good time. We had a good time. Everything that happened and it went exactly according to plan, and it was a nice way to spend

just a few minutes of your life. Oh, and before people pile on me for only making the women's side of the sex noises and the sex noises part of this show, I just want to say that I don't do man sex noises in my play acting, because when I do that shit, it's fucking real. And I am hearing a woman's one when i do it even

even though even what paulie shore said it's not true about me when he called me a h word yeah people talking about this people talk about oh like paulie sure wasn't making enough jokes on the show what do you think was a joke when he called shot a hobo you think that and we don't use necessarily use that word and it's that's a biggest joke of all you think that that wouldn't even be a joke when he would say that of course he was making a joke just because he wasn't smiling and he said it in a mean way it doesn't mean it's not a joke please and I'm and I'm dripping with you know what and I and I do mean pussy juice and so there's no way that I would be that. And it would be fine if I was, but I love that kind of people.

Can I explain another thing? Sean sounding scared after he said that was also a joke and you're not in on it. Yes. And yes. And I hope it wasn't painful to listen to. And that's the nerd character's brother, Dweeby. And we like those people a lot,

and we go to a lot of their weddings now. More or more. I think they're more fun than normal weddings. Yes. Here's another place from online. It's called Absolute Punk. It's another list. It looks the same way,

where it's the name and then what they want to say. And is this a different system or is it part of the same connection? Right, yeah. No, this is, well, it's the same internet connection, but it's a different website. Okay. Where they also talk about it. But it's still talking about the exact same thing. Wouldn't it be nice if they just put it all in one place?

Yeah. Wouldn't that just be a little more convenient for everyone so you wouldn't even have to skip around? They're all talking about the same thing. Why don't they just do it on the one screen? Well, I've been saying this. I don't know why we even need the internet for this. Right.

Just have it be all just your phone screen is just every whatever people are saying and if it's about you then you get it on your phone if you like yes and i probably i'd be turning some of these people off instead of having to do internet facebook texting just put it all on the screen well and half and you know and yeah people ask why I don't own a TV, and it's like, I mean, hello. Here's a comment from Kempetty John. He says, that Pauly Shore interview on HH was pretty painful to listen to. And so here's that word again.

And now I hesitate to even say it wrong because I'm wondering if I'm on the end of some kind of online joke because where everyone got together and decided, okay, now this is a different word today than what it normally means. Normally it means to be sad and hurting, but today it means to have a happy, pleasant sensation. Fun and learning and cool. And I had a thing when I was a kid, and I don't know if this got out to where you guys grew up,

but on the farm as a kid, we had a thing called opposite day. And I would do something where I'd go like, boy, I really want to milk the goose today. And what it meant was I don't want to do that. That's a bad chore. But you do it and say the opposite so the goose is not the opposite of the cow that is the real part huh?

I was just making sure, because I didn't grow up as part of this, I was in an urban firehouse you are saying, it's not like the goose is an opposite of the cow no, opposite cow is a frog. Well, it's goose opposite of, or is that a real part? Goose?

Yeah. Hmm, opposite goose. It's been so long since I've studied this. Probably a caterpillar. Because that can't fly yet, but it's going to. So anyway, that sort of opposite saying stuff had gone out of style as far as I knew, but maybe it's coming back in the way kids do it now. Because sick means fun now.

When they say sick, it means fun. Oh, believe me, I found that out the hard way so if that's being serious then it's wrong but if it's being opposite then okay it's and you know somebody explain to us please and here's a guy on twitter which i do know this and this is um this is one of the tweets and this is from mikey roberts and the tweet is well paulie shore on hollywood handbook was interesting and before you say like well yeah of course he was interesting i'm detecting a certain tone in that which is exactly like you're saying before that he is using it to mean not interesting. And to say that somebody like Pauly Shore,

who's been in all these movies and who came on the show and was engaging and he wanted to talk to us and he was having a good time, is, to me, being very mean. And it's wrong. And also to use Twitter for something like this, I think constitutes online abuse, which you can be reported for. Oh, yes. And the level of legal hot water some of these people would be in if I wanted to get my internet lawyer in on it.

Yes. And I can actually look at it right now and it says block or report. And I have my finger. Oh, it's getting so close to the click. Oh, it's right on the click. Oh, what if it slips and I hit block or report? And imagine getting reported for something like that. And all your relatives know and everyone you went to elementary school with finds out immediately if you get reported.

Yeah, yeah. And guess who's not going to be online anymore after that. Yeah, and guess who's not invited to Thanksgiving dinner either. Next year's, I mean. The other one just happened. So, in retrospect, a lot of people seem to think that that segment was very painful. And at the same time, a lot of people were also wrong. Oh, what a coincidence.

I bet maybe they were the same people. Did you have any wrapping up you wanted to do? Well, one thing I don't even know if we want to say it, but there's somebody on our forums who wrote a pretty long dissection of why it wasn't a very good guest. Yes. You know, good kid means well, I think.

So he kind of was saying, kind of gently suggesting that maybe we just shouldn't get that guest. Instead, we should get a guest who plays along better. And it kind of implied that we have a lot of choices in booking guests. Yes. And that it's very easy and we kind of just can pick from anyone who might be funny and good in that when someone has some level of visibility that maybe you started in four back-to-back motion pictures. Yes.

And that 60,000 Twitter followers is somehow below our immediate threshold of acceptance rather than 15 times that threshold. You know what? We shouldn't talk about it, and let's not even have talked about that. Let's not even have talked about him. Okay. Because it just will give him too much power,

and I'd rather he wonder if I even saw it. Now, so you asked me if I had anything to wrap up with. Yeah, is there anything? Are you feeling any better? I'm just even remembering that I lock my keys in my car, and the car is running. Oh, God. And I don't know where the spare set is,

and I'm just literally going, like, where? Like, what is happening to me? Mm-hmm. Because you've been even, like, watching you. I was like Because you've been even like watching you. I was like you've been twirling. Like you're twirling something on your finger. And I was like does he think his keys are on there? But there's nothing.

You weren't twirling anything. Well, it's worse than that. There's not nothing. There's some kind of growth. I don't know. Yeah, that is new. And I never thought I'd say this. Hopefully, it's a bone thing.

Because that you've been through. That you know how to deal with. It's the devil I know. You know the playbook for bone stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Shave the bone. It looks like a bone thing.

It does, right? Yeah. You're not just saying that? It looks like the other one. It's a little bigger than the other one, but... Yeah. It looks... But it's one, but it has the same texture. Yeah. Yeah.

The color's a little different. Yeah, but that's because it's bigger. It's blacker. I think the skin's stretched. Yes, the skin's stretched. Yeah. We have a great guest today. Yep.

Jared Paul is here. Don't know who that is? Oh, you better stick around to find out, baby. On Hollywood Handbook. So I'm there with Stevie Wonder. Yeah, yeah. And Stevie Nicks. Yeah.

He's pretending to be blind. She's pretending to be a woman. And Steffi walks by in that little red number that I got her. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Nick. Yeah. He's pretending to be blind, she's pretending to be a woman. And Steffi walks by in that little red number that I got her. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And they both turn their heads, like, on a swivel and I'm like, busted!

I busted! You know. And they laugh. I mean, I'm not gonna do anything with the information, but... Steffi's a honey trap. Steffi is, yes. And she trapped me with that honey in her womanly area. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, an insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz.

What up, what up? Let me tell you a little something about our guest. carpet linebacker, hallways of this industry we call showbiz. What up, what up? Let me tell you a little something about our guest. I can't tell you, I can't even find the words for how important this person has been in my career, in Sean's, in the careers of so many of us who are working today. Mentor is a small word for it. Is there something for a giant mentor?

Like the word ginormous. I love the word ginormous. Do you know that word? Yes, yes. A lot of people say something ginormous. If you ever read Magister Lo. Do you know that word? Yes. Yes. Ginormous is great. If you ever read Magister Lutie and the Glass Bead Game by Herman Hesse, I think there's sort of a dynamic in there that would possibly apply. You know the poet philosopher Hesse. Well, let's introduce our guest. His name is Jared Paul. He's on a very tight schedule So we have him sort of remotely

Can you hear us? I can hear you, yeah Where are you guys? We're in our studio Oh, that's cool Where are you? You're coming through so clearly Yeah, I don't even know

I don't even know You don't know where you are? I'm on a plane right now Oh, you're on a plane I don't know where we are flying over But I'm happy to be here. Thanks for you guys hooking up on the – Look out the window.

Do you see sky? I see – all I see is ocean, so I don't know. Sure. Mark, where are we flying over? He didn't hear me. Oh, he's got to fly the plane. Anyway, yeah. But thanks for hooking up on the ISDN line.

Thank you. You're even busier than we are, and we don't get a chance to say that much. Yeah. We're in your old stomping grounds, just Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about, let's fill some people in on your background in case they don't know. Okay. A lot of people know you as Monk's Friend in your acting capacity, correct?

Oh, God. I guess. The photographer from The Yes Man. That's, yep. Yeah. Best known for it. Yes. Sure.

But along with your acting, writing, producing, directing, which do you find most fulfilling or do you even differentiate them at this point? Like what – do you have a favorite child? It's all – no, that's the thing. You can't really pick a favorite child, can you? Yeah. It's filmmaking. It's a film and TV making and it's like it's all part of the thing.

I think that no matter what, you should do everything. Can you imagine being a stone carver, an ancient stone carver, and saying, okay, I'm going to be the one who just writes what the stone is going to be carved like, and then you be the one who directs the guy what to do with his hands. Oh, yeah, get the chisel, man. And then I'm going to be acting like i'm a stone carver like it just doesn't like yeah like it just makes more sense to just do all the carving and then i think so and in origami the uh japanese uh ancient art of paper folding folding art yes

um if you can imagine those paper folders if instead one of them just said oh i'm just gonna write what the folds of paper will look like. And another one, you know, in a similar way, similar to the stone carving analogy, really would say like, well, I'm going to act like I'm folding the paper. Yes. Yeah. But you don't, you know, an artist does all of it. Yeah.

I think you have to. So what are some of the things? And not just one thing. Jared, what are some of the things? And not just one thing. Jared, what are some of the things? Is there a lag? Is there what now? Is there a lag? I'm not sure. Okay, sounds like there's a slight lag. With the timing of it. There might

be. A lag. We'll figure it out. We'll press on. Yeah. Please. Jared, you talk about the things, working on the things. we'll figure it out we'll press on yeah please Jared yeah you talk about

the things working on the things what are some of the things you're working on now lately you know what it is you know what honestly

right now it's just it's about it's juggling a lot of different things it's like you know you have to

be at if you're doing multiple things at once it's like, you know, you have to be at, if you're doing multiple things at once, it's like you're doing pre-production for this. Okay. And talk about what that is. You're on a mix stage for this.

Yes, and that is going to be something that people need to know about as well. You're going into a screening for a press tour of this. You know what I mean? You have a charity event here. So it's hard to,

you know what I mean? Sometimes it's hard to. We didn't prep you properly for this because a lot of our listeners are not big Hollywood you know

yeah stars yeah a lot of them are just people with their fucking thumb in their ass trying to keep it warm

right who don't know shit from shit and so a lot of what we do is sort of educate and inform them. So when you say I'm going to be in the mixing room. Guys, honestly, though, that is so great to hear that you guys are doing this

because my biggest thing is giving back. Can you hear him, Hayes? Oh, is he dropping out? He's not coming through for me. I am getting him. I'm getting him in one ear on the left end. You respond. I'll drop out. Hopefully he comes back in. For You respond. In one ear? On the left end. You respond. I'll drop out.

Hopefully he comes back in. For me in my later – I'll tell you guys this, and I don't know if you guys can relate to it. In my later years, I am coming to a point of it's not about necessarily the work for me anymore. It's not my top priority. It's really helping others. Right. And it's really giving back. It's really helping others and it's really giving back.

And so to hear that you guys are doing this show to kind of help people get their foot in the door, I think that's really commendable. I think that you guys just congratulate – great job, guys. Really great. He says great job. He's saying that he's congratulating us on trying to educate the public. I can get this ISDN line better. Can you hear me, Sean? I can get this ISDN line in better shape, I think. They might.

Well, now he's not responding. Can you hear what I'm saying? I'm in the dark over here, guys. Are you holding the conversation? But I'm going to say you and I are in the same room, and you're looking at me. Okay, I've got haze now. I've got haze now. You were stopping when I spoke, so I'm just making sure. I've got haze now. Okay. I've got haze now. You were stopping when I spoke, so. I was just making sure.

I got haze now. Okay. Do you have me? Can you hear me, Sean? Jared? That's me there. Okay, I've got everybody. We're back online.

Great. Jared, so stuff like, you talk about a press tour. When you say press tour, the people listening probably think, like, pressing their face to, like, a sheet of ice, and then they tore it off trying to. Well, you guys should have prepped. I don't have time to kind of walk everybody through. Right.

So I'm saying maybe we just don't go that deep is what I'm saying. Yeah, no, let's not go. Maybe we stay in the shallow end. Stay on the surface. Great. Great. I love that. I love that. Just because when you say press tour, they don't know what to picture.

Right, right, right. You know, I don't know if Hayes has explained it all. Yeah, that's the thing. They might picture it, but it could be – If next time, I don't know if Hayes – if that's Hayes' thing, like to basically prep the audience and just a glossary of terms. Well, that's actually a great – Maybe next time a glossary of terms just to provide before to the audience. That I give them?

Yeah, exactly. So then when a guest comes on and says something like press tour, they know. Maybe next time a glossary of terms just to provide before to the audience. That I give them? Yeah, exactly. So then when a guest comes on and says something like press tour, they know. We've been trying to do it because what happens is when you do say something like that, they might picture just, you know, just pressing their hip up against a stove really hard. Right. Let me mention this. Is there someone in the room who might be responsible for that kind of thing, like putting together a glossary of terms?

Oh, to just distribute. If you are that person, maybe say, I should have done that. I should have done that. That's right. That's our intern. Who is that? That's the voice of our intern, Andy. He's in the room as well, and he has done a very good job of being quiet.

Thank you, Andy. Andy is Rob Reiner's son. Oh, amazing. I love Rob. Tell him I said hello when you see him. Absolutely. Yeah, tell him I said hello, meathead. I saw him last time I was at the house.

Do you ever see him play the piano there? I haven't gone to the Soho house in 18 months. Oh. What happened? I used to see you there.House in 18 months. Oh. What happened? I used to see you there. You used to post up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not the spot anymore.

Where do you go? Yeah. It's other places. Anyway. Maybe I've been there. I don't know. You don't know if I have? I haven't seen you at that place. I don't think you have.

Those places. Do you know what it is? I think I have a pretty good idea. Yeah, Sean knows. No, Sean knows, yeah. What neighborhood is it in? Oh, my gosh. We're going to play 20 questions and then it's zero.

What neighborhood is it in? It's in Los Angeles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. No, but it's nice. It's still nice. Yeah, yeah. No, but it's nice. It's still nice. Yeah, it's great. They have a great fake crab there. Yeah.

It's fake? Yeah, no, it's great, though. It really is great. But it comes in the shell. It's not real. Hey, Zoom, you're making a scene. Yeah. Oh, I never want to go there again.

We haven't been there. He's been to Soho House. Yeah, that's where the fake crab is. Oh, that's where that is, not the new place? Oh, yours has fake crab, too? The new place does have a fake crab. I lost the reception, I think. Oh, did you drop out for a while?

Yeah, I dropped out. And that's the thing with these pieces of technology that we're relying on to communicate. Yes, right. And Jared, you have a really great perspective on technology. Well, it's not even. No, I mean, you've said some really heavy shit. You did a 10. You did a 10.

Well, we're just, you know, look, guys, we're in a time where I think we're given all these devices. You know, the phones and the iPads and the iPad minis and the notes. Surface. And the, bless you. Sorry. We're just. Excuse me. Yeah.

What the fuck was that? I had a little sneeze in me. Is that? I'm sorry, Jared. For someone who leaves the room at the slightest provocation. The body functions. To do almost, to do almost, to do anything. To go to the fridge, to.

I don't know what he does out there because I'm in here recording. But I've come in and some of the stuff that he's doing out there. It's not stuff you do when you're at work. But to make a horrific noise like that, you decide to do in the room. I just want to make sure that's what you decide to do. I've seen him out there doing a little bit of a press tour, if you catch my meaning. And I mean, he's pressing his fist into his buttocks in a way that seems to, and he's breathing heavy in a way that seems to excite him.

Now, I hesitate to accuse him of masturbating, but I believe that he's developed a method which is acceptable to do in public, although it is very strange to watch. So you would assume that someone who would leave the room for, you know,

essentially to ejaculate, who was going to sneeze, might think they should leave who would leave the room for, you know, essentially to ejaculate. Yeah. Who was going to sneeze might think they should leave the room. And you interrupted one of the great minds of our time who was about to launch into a real Dennis Miller-style rant on technology. Yeah, yeah. Continue.

I'm sorry. I don't remember what. You were talking about notes and iPads. Can you get your Irish back up? You were on iPad minis. Yeah, yeah. Notes, iPad minis. I think I said Surface.

Notes, iPad minis. You said that. And I was just going to – yeah, you know, look. We're all tweeting. This is it. We're all Tumblering. We're all Facebooking. you know we're all tumblering we're all facebooking and you know it was all all of these things were supposed to get us to connect more but if you think about it they're kind of causing

a disconnect they're kind of putting distance between us because we're not talking to each other we're talking into our into our phone now that's interesting how do you mean well we're we're like you know texting and stuff all the time yeah and tweeting and we're writing stuff on on on facebook instead of talking to each other yes and then there's a part where you just close it out yeah you close it out no you do that yeah i do it and it. And it's – it really just – it gets bad. And it's – you're right because in a way the intended – the stated intention of these devices and these websites and these different things that you type into or look at is to connect us. Yeah. And it is disconnect connect us. Yeah. And it is disconnecting us. Now, if I gave you a banana and I said, hey, the purpose of this is that you eat it and

it's good. Right. Sure. It's for being food. But then what it actually did was you couldn't eat it and it doesn't be food, you'd stop going to that banana tree. Or to me, I mean, I guess I sold it to you. It's causing, yeah, starvation now, this tree.

It's causing starvation. Yeah. The tree makes you starve. This tree makes you starve now. And so you don't go to that tree or that vendor. But people are still going to the tree. People are still going to the tree. That's the thing.

They're going to the tree. They've moved into the tree. Yes. And they have a tree house in there. And it's, so I think that, you know, one of the things we wanted to do, because we do have Andy here who's kind of a young'un. Andy, how old are you? I'm 26. Okay.

And we do have you. We did say kind of a young'un. And what's your background, Andy? Reiner is your – did you go to film school? I think for these purposes, because Rob, to his credit, is having Andy do it himself. Yeah, that makes sense. The same way Carl did for him, now Rob is doing it for Andy. Right.

Am I wrong? No, yeah, that's what he tells me. And so for these purposes, we just forget maybe about Rob because I think he's what Rob would prefer. Well, because if I could jump in here, Andy, you're not in the business because your dad's in the business, are you? Oh, no, no, no. This is a passion of mine. This is something I've been interested in since I was a young man. You wouldn't be able to be in the business just because your dad's in the business. It doesn't work like that.

No. You have to have that passion or else, you know, what are we doing? It doesn't work like that. And you see in the... What gave you that passion? When you look back, Andy,

when you look back, what was it that first that made you first say, I need to be in this business? You've got to be able to answer this. You have to be able to answer this. People will ask you, Andy. This is the question.

People will ask you this. What made you – I'll tell you who can answer this, Alison Williams. Yes. I mean, she's not – Yes. She doesn't say – You would hardly know.

You would hardly know. No. That her daddy did the news. No, no, no. Or that Gwyneth Paltrow's dad was the Midnight Cowboy. No, no, no. No idea. Right. Paltrow's dad was the Midnight Cowboy. No, no, no. No idea. Right.

I think it was probably when my dad was making— Jessica Capshaw. Yes. She's a series regular on Grey's Anatomy. That happened because Jessica Capshaw knows how to fucking act. It didn't happen because of the household she grew up in. It happens because you have talent. It happens because you have talent. It happens because you are interesting.

And it happens because you know how to combine those things in front of camera. So, Andy, what was the thing that made you think, I need to do this? I think it was when my dad was making North, if you remember that film. Yeah. And so he let me be in the background in one of a crowd scene. Uh-huh. And I just said, I got to get more of this. Yeah.

I got the bug, I guess you could say. You got the bug on North? Yeah. Yeah. We talk about this stuff. You know what I think the problem with Andy is and what I'm sensing Andy's biggest problem is over the waves here is he comes from here. I'm pointing at my head. Okay.

I'm pointing at my head right now. I'm pointing at my head right now. He's coming from here and you have to come from here. I'm pointing at my chest. And where is that? Okay. He's pointing at the button on his jacket. I'm pointing at my chest right now.

Okay. And that's where you have to come from. That's where every decision has to be made. Every decision. Andy, you're not making enough decisions from your heart. You're thinking too much, Andy. You're too much of a brainiac.

Yeah. Now, when I was first starting out, I got some good advice from somebody who's in this room via technology right now, and it's you, Jared. Okay. And to me, you were a figure like if you've seen the movie Wedding Crashers, and if you haven't seen it, Scoop Troop, go out, rent it, anything you need to do, watch this movie. Run. You probably have seen it. Don't walk.

Yes. It's got a hunting scene with Bradley Cooper. Yes, that Bradley Cooper. And it's so funny. And Dobkin directed it. And you should see how he gets taken down with the big tackle and the football part. Oh, it's physical comedy and it's verbal comedy. But again, you know, what's great about that film

is it starts off, these guys are crashing weddings. They're fucking around. But in the end, what's it about? In the end, it's not about crashing weddings. It's about relationship. It's about their friendship. It's about their friendship. It's about him and the girl.

It's no longer about going into a wedding and finding girls. It's about the one girl wants to fuck the guy. She's got to have it. That's right. The mom, she wants to get it too. Yeah. The grandma, she's kind of hot for it as well. They're empty and must be filled, the women in this film.

And if they can't get it, what they're doing is even just trying to jerk you off. That's satisfying to them. When Isla Fisher is doing it so that he said he, I think pissed blood or came blood is one of the jokes. Not a joke, he just says that thing. But for me,

the reason I bring the movie up is about one relationship in particular, which is the mentor relationship, which is their mentor is played by someone named Will Ferrell. And he do improv in the scene, I think. Yes. With the other characters. And it's so funny, but it also is a real thing. And he's a surprise to see, you remember?

Yes. Yeah. And he's yelling at his mom. And that's not something you did, but that's just a funny thing. Yeah. And you did tell me and Hayes some good advice. Yeah. Specifically, Jared, you have your six rules.

Oh. The six rules of filmmaking. And what we've promised Andy is that he can get two rules now, two rules at the end of the podcast, and two more if he shows that he's responsible enough to handle them. Well, one I already gave you, Andy, which is...

The chest. Yeah, everything from the heart. From the chest, yes. Everything from the heart. What was number two? Number two, Sean Hayes, you guys remember what number two was? I can get you started.

How about that? Get me started. I want to make sure that you guys remember what... You can't have a story... Unless you have a past. Am I right? Andy? Wow.

Yeah. I haven't thought of it like that. Unless you have a past, Andy. Now, can you speak on that, Andy? Like what it means to me? What I think that means? Yeah. I think it just means that you have to write about what...

You know what it is, Andy? What I'm not buying from you is to have a story, you need to have a past. You're 26. 26. I didn't have a story. What I wouldn't give. I didn't have a story at 26. wouldn't give. I didn't have a story at 26.

At 26, what am I doing at 26? You know? Yes. I'm going around. I'm at Hyde. You know? What was that? All night I'm at Hyde when I'm 26.

That's right. You'd be at Hyde. I was at Hyde. That's what I was doing. Yes. You know, I don't think. Hyde is like Club Deviate. Yeah. And I don't think, you know, a't think hide is like club deviate yeah and i don't think you know a 26 year

old i mean has the has the emotional you know depth depth to kind of come at it from a personal layering because you're constantly rolling you're almost never not rolling. Oh, yeah. I mean, and that's something. His jaw is going wild. That's number three. Always roll. Always be able to roll. That's number three rule. And can you expand on that?

Are we talking about like on a skateboard or a bike or something like that? We are not. We are not talking about that. We are talking about always being able to roll. talking about that we were talking about always being able to roll like you you gotta be you if a director says andy i need you to sand this table you have to know how to sand that table and you have to do do it in a real way or fold this paper fold this paper or tear out this stop sign you know remove this stop sign. Right.

That's right. You have to be able to know how to do these things. Yes. So, again, always be able to roll. Be able to roll with it. Great. Yeah. I'll do, yeah.

And that's why they say roll tape, Andy. Did you ever notice that? Yeah, I did know that they say rolling on movies. They do. I didn't know what that, I guess I didn't know it. Well, get used to it. Yeah. Yeah. Your dad didn't teach know that they say rolling on movies. They do. I didn't know what that – Well, get used to it. Yeah. Yeah.

Your dad didn't teach you that, what rolling meant? No, I guess I had a different – Made a bunch of movies, your dad. Yeah, he just would say it. He didn't ever explain it. He never explained what it meant. Yeah, wow. Yeah.

How many films has he made? He's made upwards of – Oh, at least 10. At least 10, yeah. Yeah, I was going to say more than that, I think. Probably. Yeah. What's your favorite of his?

Was it North because you were on the set or was it something else? That one is really special to me, but I think I might have to say Stand By Me is my top favorite. Then he tells a story about the kid they called Lardass, and he goes to the piety contest and he throws up on everyone. He was just a storyteller and that just lived in him. Did you relate to that in any way? Yeah, I mean, it made me. I mean, here was a young boy and his friends want to hear him spin a yarn. And that's what they do to relax.

They didn't have iPhones. They didn't have a Surface. No. iPad Surface. No. iPad mini. No. You know, what they'd do is they would have him tell a story. Has anyone ever asked you to do that? No, actually, nobody's ever explicitly asked me to tell a story.

Tell a story. Tell a story. Tell us a story, Andy. Tell us a story right now in eight words or less. Okay, great. Like, for for example you know the famous well yeah i was gonna say well you shouldn't say that one because it's already famous but the one that's like i have some baby shoes for you who died yep um how okay maybe like adult shoes. Okay. That's two.

Guys, I got to say, guys, is there a secure line? Sean Hayes, is there a secure thing? Yes, we can patch you through. I'm feeling like Andy is not the guy. I'm feeling like this is just my opinion. This is my opinion. You guys run your business the way you want. I'm not getting from Andy what I would like to get.

And if we could give you some background on this. Yeah, yeah. Our relationship with him is ideally going to result in a relationship with his father. Got it. Where he plays Sean's dad in the movie. Got it, got it, got it. Okay, okay. Never mind.

Back to the regular line. Hey, Andy. Hey. Nothing's coming through on my end. Are you still, you're still got problems going there? Hello? Hello? Test.

I'm here. Test. Test. Test. I'm on. Test. Test. I'm on. I can hear Cody typing. I've got Cody in mind. And is that Jared?

Yes, this is me. Okay. Jared. Yeah. I thought we could do a variation on something we normally do. We normally have the popcorn gallery, which is where we ask questions of celebrities. Andy's still on board? Are we... You guys okay with that?

Andy's still with us? Yeah. No, it's good. Andy? Andy, can you leave the room? We're good on Andy? I'm leaving. That's a wrap on Andy. Wow. Well, this was great, you guys. Thank you so much for all the help. I really appreciate it. And the shorter the better with an exit great, you guys. Thank you so much for all the help. I really appreciate it.

And the shorter the better with an exit line, you know? Yeah. It just should be like a boom, just like such a strong. So you guys were talking about popcorn galleries. Yes. I don't know what that means really. We ask questions of celebrities and then they answer back. But in a lot of cases, the more interesting thing I think would be to ask you to answer questions.

Like we ask a celebrity a question, but then you answer it because you are something of, I guess, this kind of glue guy of Hollywood. Yes, Hollywood's glue guy. The straw that stirs the drink. Oh, interesting. Where any question that we have for a celebrity, we could ask you, and you can respond, like sort of what they would say, and also kind of what the truth is. Yeah.

Okay. I'm ready for it. Like, for example. Yep. What? Oh, it's a popcorn. Oh, okay. You hear it? Yeah.

Oh, it's a hat from a guy. Oh. And for this episode... Can I say this? Okay. Can I say this? Give me one second because I'm disappointed with that result for this episode can I say this okay can I say this give me one second because I'm disappointed

with that result for this episode which I would prefer to be of a little higher standard for Jared can I say this though Mark who does

our sound drops my high school friend Mark does our sound drops has been really really sick like throwing up going to the bathroom and can't stop oh okay well in that case really, really sick. Like throwing up, going to the bathroom,

and can't stop. Oh, okay. Well, in that case, I'm just thankful that he got one, got a sound drop prepared for the show because we could have just had nothing there and imagined how embarrassing that would have been. Yes. So they're a little weaker

and he sounds kind of, you can hear it that he's not doing it. So my apologies to Mark. What's happening, guys? I don't, I'm not following this. Oh, yes, Jared, I'm sorry. We're back with you. We just pulled a question out of a popcorn bag.

Got it. Oh, see. To ask you, and this is a question for Kiernan Shipka. Okay. Okay? You know Kiernan. Yeah. Who is that again?

She's the girl from Mad Men. The little girl? And you guys had the little... Right. Okay. And she's a go-get-em tiger on Lunchmon a lot. That's right. Go ahead.

And the question for Kiernan is, and you tell us how she would answer, and then maybe what the secret answer is for her. Okay. Since you know her so well. Okay. And the question for Kiernan is, what's the most exciting thing about being a TV star?

Uh-huh. Well, if I were Kiernan, I would probably say nothing is good about being a TV star. What I'm doing it for is the work. Guys, you know what? It's a good question. Honestly, it is a good question. I don't know how Kiernan would answer it.

Yes, you do, and I appreciate you protecting her in this way. Now, this has been an issue a little bit with guests recently, so we do want to clear it up. There's two more questions coming, and that's it. Then you get to leave. Some guests have been doing a sort of wrap-it-up gesture. Uh-huh.

And that's okay, but it's partially our fault we didn't communicate. So I'm going to reach back in the bag. Okay. Gatorade. And now it sounds like it's actually getting a lot worse. Yes, he recorded the first one when something was off with him. I visited him this weekend.

I went back home. Yeah. And the next one, he was rapidly declining, and we wound up running an IV in him, which I shouldn't have been doing. I don't know how to do that stuff. Yeah. Well, I guess we should. He would want us to ask the question. Oh, for sure.

Okay. This is a question for Chris Pratt, friend of yours, would you say? Yeah, I guess. I mean, we were – you know, listen. Hollywood friends are – they're your friend one second, and then you see them, and it's like, oh, hey, we were hanging out at one point but now we – you know what I mean? Like they're Hollywood friends. It's weird the way it cycles through.

It's just what project you're working on. If you're on the same lot, now we're best friends. Yeah, now we're best friends. Oh, if we're doing a press junket in the same fucking hotel, it's like, yeah. But, yeah. So the question we want to know from Chris Pratt is, how did you get so strong for the space movie? Star-Lord.

Yeah. Which we loved. I don't want to nerd out about that movie. It's from a comic. Yeah. I love comics. Peter Star-Lord. I loved the funniness.

I love the girl. I love that whole romance story. Meerkat guy. Well, you know, I thought, guys, I thought you're missing on the music. Oh! The music brought me back. That soundtrack. The music brought me back to a place of

wait a second, I'm having fun in movies again. How is the song of the summer for 2014 a song from freaking 1981 or something? But it's just a good song doesn't go out of style and you forget it sometimes. You do. And when they're playing that, it's just a good song doesn't go out of style and you forget it

sometimes and when they're playing that it's like holy shit I'm having fun in movies again that's right

because all the music in these other movies in the Batmans is like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom you're talking about you're just talking about

sounds sounds does come through it's just yeah it's just like it's not Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You're talking about sounds. You're talking about – you're just talking about sounds. Yeah, sound does come through. No, it's just – yeah, it's just like – it's not music, is it, guys? No. It's not. Yeah. And just because you can hear it doesn't make it music. Yeah.

And we tried to explain that to Michael Crone. Just because I can buy it on iTunes for $1.29 doesn't mean it's music, honestly. No, it could be – it honestly could be part of the book. And that's what you always have to remember. And what do you think about how he got so strong? I think he probably ate a lot of protein. I think that he probably worked out a lot. And there are some – listen, look.

A lot. And there are some – listen, look. There are some trainers out there that the movie studios know that those guys can do it. They're on retainer. They're on retainer, and those guys do it in a much less amount – Much less amount. Of time. You know what I mean? So Chris Pratt, they have this special trainer that they can give him and he can get him into that shape in about eight days.

Detour, have you ever been pushed to your limit physically? Sorry, I should have signaled before I made that left turn. I pushed my – It was a breath detour. Let me put it this way. I push myself to the limit every single way, every single day. And how else can you write some of the characters you write if you haven't experienced that? The guy who was on K2, which is a famous mountain, and was trying to blow up a balloon, didn't have enough air, slipped, and then slid it all the way down on his belly and in his butt.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, how can you write that scene? It was a very funny scene. But if you haven't experienced something like that, where you are just so exhausted that you can't blow up the balloon, and as you're sliding down, you're saying, wee, but you're also saying, ooh, geez. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Hope I don't bump into anything. And of course he did. He bumped into a big pile of coconuts. Right. And you wrote Yes Man. So you talk about pushing yourself. I wonder if people are asking themselves, how much Red Bull did you have to drink for that scene where Jim tries Red Bull? Because it was very true in how he gets crazy.

Well, really true. You know, Jim came in that morning and said, what if I drank Red Bull? I've never had Red Bull. Yeah. And you're thinking, excuse me? I'm thinking Jim Carrey on Red Bull, that's a comedic conceit that audience members all over the world want to see. So, yeah, that's how that came about. That we, you know, and Red Bull was really supportive of it.

It was really big for, they were kind of, you know, on the rise at the time. Yes. And so it put them, as an energy drink, it put them on the map a little bit. It was like them and Rockstar, they, you know, it was kind of

head to head right around there and Yes Man kind of pushed it. That was the death blow. Pushed it over the top. And that's what a gym brings. I mean,

that's what a gym delivers. Oh, yeah, yeah. And do you have to hide that you're sort of, that you're not much of a Red Bull guy? You sort of mix amp and monster together?

I, you know, I was, yeah, that was an issue. That was sticky. That was a tricky thing to get around in the pre-production process. You do the monster, like the monster lattes. The, yeah. Mean bean. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have to. Yeah. You have to. You have to. Yeah. You have to. Those are healthier. Yeah. Let's reach back into the bag. Yep. I could hear you checking your watch.

Is that what that sound was? No, no, no. It just really sounded like you were... No, I think that's the popcorn. That's the popcorn thing. Okay, just making sure. Okay. Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus. I don't know if I can do that. Mark, just do the back thing and then anything you want. You have to do it. I can't do it with this. We pay you to do it. That's the one. Okay.

It's a piece of popcorn. So you just pulled a popcorn on the back yeah again I'm sorry that that happened for this the one thing we asked him not to sorry that it happened

for this episode and we did say have it be anything but popcorn but anyway this is a question for Dennis Quaid okay

are you still friends with Meg yeah they are good friends yeah that's nice oh no I don't know I'm just answering Okay. Are you still friends with Meg? Yeah. They are? Good friends, yeah. That's nice to hear. Oh, no, I don't know. I'm just answering as he, I think, would answer.

Oh, but you just knowing their, oh, okay. So that's how you would answer, but you knowing their relationship. Is that the case? Is that for real? I don't know. You know what? Oh. Who are you protecting?

Listen. Okay, we said if you come on here, you got to spill it. You asked me a question about that. You asked me a question, how would Dennis Quaid answer it? You know, that's tricky if you are in the Ryan camp, you know? I see. Understood. You get what I'm saying.

Say no more. So you've changed camps recently. It wasn't recently. Because you used to be – oh, okay. It wasn't recently. It was – yeah, no, I mean it was a while ago. No, that's right because we – yes, because I – yes, the three of us all were at the – not the Soho House but the one that we go to now. Yeah.

Well, the three of us were at – The three of us? Me, you, and Jared. You weren't there. No, I mean, no, Jared, myself, and Meg Ryan. You weren't at the place because you were at the... I think I was at Soho House with Dennis. That adds up.

That checks out. Eating the crab. I don't think. You don't think I was at Soho House? It doesn't sound right. Looking back, I think Jared might be right. I don't know.

I'm just saying it doesn't sound. Well, thank you for coming on the show, Jared. Oh, wow, guys. It's been so helpful. This has been such an amazing experience for me. And I hope I was able to provide your listeners with some insight into the business. Yeah. And we do hope you have a safe flight and wherever you're going.

Thank you very much. You've been traveling a lot. Honestly, yeah. What do you take on planes? What do I take? Do you take anything? It's a cocktail of some serious stuff So listeners

You can rate us on iTunes And you can talk to us on the forums What's the pro version? Velvet Revolver and Nico Yes What? Velvet Revolver and Nico Sorry I tried to. Yes. What? Velvet Revolver and Nico, your prizes, you get the- Sorry, I tried to patch you out for a second.

You can still hear us? I thought, yeah, I'm still in. Velvet Revolver and Nico. What is that? Please, these names, these fucking internet names, everybody's got to one-up each other with their weird shit. Oh. But we love our fans it's great

but just guys quit dicking around we can't remember your names real names real people have some variation on your real name your name and then you add a funny rapper spin on it now

your pro version Jared's gonna give you the last tip for the day the last rule for the day. The last rule of filmmaking. Yes, the rule of filmmaking. And this is for Revolver and Nico. You know, the most important thing is go with your gut. Listen to your heart.

Listen to your heart, but go with your gut. You have to listen to your heart But But you have to go with your gut Thank you Bye This has been an Earwolf Media Production Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman For more information visit Earwolf.com Earwolf.com.