Hollywood Handbook - Jason Mantzoukas, Our Movie Podcast Friend

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

JASON MANTZOUKAS returns to answer How Did This Gets Made?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hey guys, support for today's show comes from Dashlane. Dashlane makes everything you do online easier. You can fill out forms fast, remember all your passwords, and keep your online data accessible and safe with this all-in-one app. Dashlane has really been a lifesaver for Sean and I. Literally. We have been victims of uh a lot of different like hack attacks

and had uh a lot of things uh stolen from us online uh and uh not anymore but sometimes it can be interesting to tell stories of when that was happening to us no yeah now that i have dash lane i no longer have to worry about my uh crypto fortune disappearing overnight as it did when my you know initial uh password that i put in was active uh which was of course qwerty keyboard it said uh the the password was qwerty keyboard yes and that is including the word keyboard yes and what significance did that have for you i don't know i didn't i guess you would always be reminded yeah you'd always be reminded of what it was, of what the password was, because it is what you're looking at. Well, I would look down, and I would say, like,

what do I put in on this QWERTY keyboard to get into my thingy? And then I would go, oh, I know. And so it was easy for me to remember, but unfortunately it was also very easy to hack attack, which the hack attackers did hack attack me so that sucked dash lane now don't let that happen to me and you can stick around later in the show to hear how dash lane has helped us out and that's what's called the tease and just let yourself like let the hook just sink into your cheek and just like give into it because

now you cannot resist listening to the rest of the show and the ad and you'll be flopping on the boat in no time so we're all kind of pushed up to the table and almost under the table. The chairs were low and the table was high. So we're kind of our neck is getting cut off by the table. Yeah. We're pushed in so close and our bodies are being sucked under a little bit too because the floor is sloped. And to people, maybe sitting on the table, you would look like little boys, little girls. I guess. I mean, we'd just be ahead and my airflow is constricted.

But that can happen to. That can happen for any number of reasons. Or to any age. And I'm not going to blame the design of the restaurant, which was a unique restaurant because it had the sloped kind of concave floor under the table that the chair slid into. And it had a very high table and it had a very low chair. And so your neck did get put on there and your chin got put on there and it was hard to open your mouth.

I've heard of this place. This is the new, it's not, you know, the restaurant from there. Oh no, it's not. It's a unique restaurant. this is their new kind of spin-off restaurant which is just unique restaurant just a unique restaurant and it's unusual and i was there with thomas thomas aquinas and i was

and we were um doing illuminated manuscript we were there to eat the coasters oh okay we were there to eat the coasters because it's such a unique restaurant and I don't know Hayes are we doing this still we always talk about not doing it anymore we've been doing this thing

I don't think this is the time no but let's talk about it with the guests we've been doing this thing forever where we talk, we tell these stories over the top of the show. Sure. Do you have abandoned premises, abandoned repeated bits? Oh, like things that have lingered. When we first started How Did This Get Made, there were segments.

There were, we thought we should have pieces that lived alone unto themselves, like a little moment that is like, you know, Paul talks about this thing he talks about, or June has her moment. It's time for four questions. It's like Paul's corner or whatever kind of thing. And that is the wisdom of Mr. Scott Ackerman, who told us this exact thing. Yeah. In our fated first coffee that we had with him to talk about podcasting.

The very first thing he told us. That did end up being the last time that we. Must have segments. That was the last sort of. Wait, he said you must have segments or you shouldn't? He said, well, we've learned about podcasts and making them successful is that you need to have segments. And we said, we'll do it for a minute. Yeah.

Smart. We'll start with a segment. Try it., we'll do it for a minute. Yeah. Smart. We'll try it. Start with a segment. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we will pretty quickly Abandon it. not even be able to keep track of our own idea.

And really, the only thing that has remained as a segment is that we do tell these stories at the top of the show. And I'm quite sick of it. Just very weary. I just realized that, like, so much more often than not i'm kind of like looking at the guests and i'm going like they're like what the fuck is this and if they actually stopped and asked that i wouldn't have an answer like did you like that thing about the table or here's what i'll say you started talk they started playing the music and you started talking and I thought to myself,

I'd love to interrupt and say stuff about this. But I was like, yeah, you know, I'm the guest. I haven't been introduced yet. Yeah. So I don't know

if I'm just going to jump right in on it. But, you know, I would have. I would have. But did you like it? I mean, you're lucky in the sense that... That was one of the better ones you're lucky in the sense

that it's happening at the top of the show where the audience the listener has nothing to compare it to so so far you are either and for in our case this is the best part of the show episode these are new listeners yeah so this is like oh no i'm bringing you guys the how did this get made? Yes. I'm bringing you guys people. Ears. I bring ears. But it's that thing where without knowing what the show is, a lot of people are like, oh, this is interesting. This is funny. This is the best part so far.

So far, home run. I want to know more about these edible coasters. Yeah. In a restaurant where all the food is edible. Yeah, they weren't edible. I assume. Jason. Hey. What a restaurant where all the food is edible. Yeah, they weren't edible. I assume. Jason. Hey.

What are we driving these days? What am I driving? Yes. This is this new segment we want to do instead of the song. Is this what you guys do? What you driving these days? I'm pretty sure this is a segment you've stolen from Dex Shepard's podcast. He asks everyone what kind of car they drive.

He talks about their cars. That's like part of it. He's a car guy. That's a big part of the show. He's a car guy. Okay a real- Shepard's podcast. He asks everyone what kind of car they drive? He talks about their cars. That's like part of it. That's a big part of the show. He's a car guy. Okay. Are you guys car guys? Are you guys big time car guys? I'm trying to learn about different cars.

I'm crazy about them. You're crazy about cars? I'm getting into one soon. Oh, yeah. Yes. Like to go home tonight, probably. Yes. I was in one, honestly, I swear to God.

Yeah. Like five minutes ago. Yeah. Literally just before I walked in one honestly I swear to god yeah like five minutes ago literally just before I walked in amazing I was in I was in a car so yeah

I guess you could say that I like to have a car you're a car guy yes yeah no are you crazy for cars just like a nutso man

oh yeah I'm one of those like I'm one of those guys who's like you know listen guys you guys know me many years. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Comedian, actor, whatever. But I'm a real grease monkey. Yeah. At the end of the day, I'm a grease monkey. The dude likes to get his hands dirty. Here's when I'm happiest. When I'm happiest, in my garage, underneath a classic car.

Uh-huh. Lying on two taped together skateboards. Oh, yeah, man. Because guess what? In the middle of a good repair, I'll untape them. I'll ollie the fuck out of the shit into my garage. Then I'll go back to fixing this car up. Baby.

That's Saturday, baby. Up in them guts. Saturdays are for the boys. Oh, that's the beauty of my life. Every day is Saturday for me. I'm always up working on that car. Yeah, Saturday, where the auto repair place is open. I've got one of those big chains that I attach,

and I pull, I pulley, attach to a pulley in the ceiling, I just pull the engine out of the car. It just hangs there in midair. Luke Combs on the Iowa boom box. I'm like- Little beer never broke my heart on repeat. I'm like Mark Wahlberg in a Transformers movie. I'm like not fucking around.

I know about cars. Yeah. I'm like fast and furious. Wow. The whole movie. I started stealing combination VCR DVD players and I ended in outer space. Fuck. Yes. all the while

cars cars cars cars cars cars the other things you drive RIP Rick Ocasek and what I love is being there when I've been lucky enough to come by the garage and just sit I don't interrupt I just watch and a

car will drive by and just hearing it, you'll know. Oh, I always know it. You could play, you guys, if you, I told your producer, load up car sounds, play them and I'll nail it. You'll say what's going on. Boom, boom, boom. I'll fucking crush it one after another.

I know the sound of every classic car. You can make them. Not just you can hear them, you can make every sound. Of course. Well, you know, you have to familiarize yourself with it. You become these cars. You know what it is? It's like a hunter who learns the difference between a moose call or an elk call,

depending on what time of year it is, what the migrating patterns are for where you are. The name of the moose. The name of the moose. You need to, the name of the moose. Yep. If you're out in the wilderness, you need to be sure that you're calling Gary the moose, not Henry the moose. Right?

So you got to be like, Gary, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah. And he's like, just being cool. He plays it so cool. That's frustrating. Moose are cool, man. Moose are cool. They're like 2,200 pounds. Cool customers. They're so fucking cool. He plays it so cool. Moose are cool, man. Moose are cool. They're like 2,200 pounds. Cool customers.

They're so fucking cool. Yeah. Big ass bitches. I was noticing a big bitch moose. He don't got to move for nobody. No way, man. I pick up on these little social cues. I'm like a people watcher, sort of amateur people watcher.

Weren't you one of the people that Malcolm Gladwell wrote Blink about? Yes, because I have spent 10,000 hours watching people. A specialist in making snap decisions based on the most micro expressions that people are putting out into the world. Yes, and that was the lesson of the book, and it is true. That was the first thing that you think is the correct thing. Whatever you think is right, don't try to investigate. Don't learn about it. That's the whole Malcolm Gladwell thing. Don't learn

about it. Don't second guess. That's worse. Make a statement. Move forward. That's worse. If you do research and learn about it. Don't ask who's plane it is. Jeffrey Whatstein. Who cares? You get on the plane. You just fly around. Keep going. Matt Groening's there. Don't worry about it.

It's not important. It's not not important who knows what's next no it's right you just blink oh i just blinked oh there's a plane oh i'm on it yep here we are there's prince andrews here yeah who cares you know oh i i bill why can't this guy sweat mr president so good to see you if i could share one of my little observations, is that you and Chef Kevin don't appear to know each other very well. You said, I told your producer, which is Chef Kevin in here, but he doesn't do your show. He does not.

Who's your producer? Here's the thing. He does not for reasons that I can't get into because of Earwolf. And that's why I didn't ask. It's like an NDA. Earwolf mechanics. that I can't get into because of Earwolf. It's like an NDA. Earwolf mechanics, but let me say

there was a time when Kevin did do stuff for the show, but doesn't anymore. Uh-huh. And I do, I mean, we can just say when that time time was sure without like describing any like any reasons about what went wrong and people can investigate the timeline if they want to read old police blotters or anything like yes but it was of course uh the same evening as benghazi

so yep yeah i mean like read the emails wiki leaks yeah that's all sony hack who's your producer amy buskell sony hack yeah sony hack of course no amy amy doesn't produce the show uh devin is our producer that's sure devin right there Let's go with that That's Devin Yeah He's a producer too Produce it big time Yeah The Mr. Sound Loving Man

Devin Yeah I love producing And sound Mr. Producing Loving Man I like paperwork And sound That's what it is There's paperwork

So much paperwork So many There's a lot of red tape To get these podcasts out So much red tape You wouldn't believe it. Everything filled out in triplicate. You gotta buy the rights to the movie.

First. Sure. And the underlying rights if it's based on someone's life. Or every song. Or what? A book? Consider that. If the movie was once booked? Mm-hmm.

No, it happens. No, we joke about it, but it really is happening that people are doing this. People are... No, the movie, sometimes, I mean, you're watching going, why did they come up with this? Well, I'll tell you how. It was a book. Hmm. No, it's happening.

It's fun to joke about, but at the same time, time i mean you look at some of these movies i will say i've read i've never no i've never read a book and then seen a movie based on it but i've seen movies and then what and then read the novelization of that movie right you know i'll do it on the way home yep yep i'll do it in the lobby that's how I read all of the books That were based on the Harry Potter movies Right The novelization of the movie Not the same as the book I don't think so

I think it's very different Because they have to describe Everyone's Like faces I also will read scripts You know Rather than books. Okay. If there's a book, if it's been turned into a movie,

I'll just read the script for the movie. Love to sit down. I won't read the book and I won't see the movie. I'll read the script. Just because to me, it helps me understand when I'm reading all of the kind of ancillary information that's in a script. Well, I'll read the famous quotes on IMDb,

and I'll read the little conversation, the comment conversations happening on IMDb from the various users about the movie. I like to know if people are having fun in the stage directions. Oh, yeah. Where they're like, and the guy walks in like a fucking badass. Uh-huh. Total hero moment.

Like, all the ladies in the audience cream their jeans. It's like, all right, this is in the freaking stage direction. Fetish. Cursed. Yeah. They cream their jeans. Cursed. Speluche.

Audience wide gush. Yeah, I like that too. Wow, no one can see this? I'm just reading this in the script? Wow. That's cool. The music starts and it's tough, but sweet. Because that's what our movie

is. A tough movie that's sweet too. And I go, oh wow, now I'm really hearing this music in my head. And then it's like, ker-sploosh, gene cream in time. Did somebody order

fettuccine alfredo no it rules Jason we never did that like we've done like so many times we've done so many episodes how many episodes have you guys done now Kevin how many is this do you guys have the most episodes on Earwolf?

No. We're like 336. 336? We said that and we got sued. We got served. Really? Papers? You got served papers? I got served papers. Devin filled them out.

Three times. Triplicate. 332. That's pretty good. Not bad. And... Your influence, though, you might not have the most episodes on here, but your influence, though, is... The episodes feel very long. If you listen to them, it feels

like they should count for multiple episodes. It feels like you guys have been doing the podcast forever. Seems like we should have moved on by now. For too long. It feels like the podcast has been going on for a. Seems like we should have moved on by now. For too long. It feels like the podcast has been going on for a length of time that is unsustainable for you two. It seems like it should be a precursor to us finding a project that suits our talents. It seems like the thing you guys did when you were still figuring it out. So it's cool that you're still doing it. No, we're doing less than that.

Significantly less. I told you, we used to have segments. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one remains. Do you think the show will be over when you finally abandon that first segment of doing that story over music? Boy, now that's a good question. Will it be a show anymore at that point?

Will that be like the Demarcadian line where once you truly abandon that, then it's like all hope is lost. Maybe. Page 76. Boy. We did it. Then it's like all hope is lost. Maybe. Page 76.

We did it. And then Hayes not that long ago got sick of the way we were doing it. And he said that he wanted to change the conceit where it used to be that you would say a first name, long pause, say a last name. That was kind of the core joke of the whole thing. Got it. Then he was like, well, maybe we should just say the first name and the other person will fill in the last name. Yeah. And then it's never been. Thomas Aqu it's never been helpful well it's helpful for me because I didn't want to think of stuff ahead of time so I thought then I could you're basically

getting a suggestion and then you just go off whatever the thing is well the whole show is a deconstruction of that first minute of improvised dialogue, right? The whole thing is kind of like a deconstruction of that. It's an event day. Thank you, Armando. But I guess I would say that I hate the event every week as a podcast. It's made me more aware of how exposed I feel when I'm doing it. Because we sometimes, I would come up with like 80% of what I was going to say and then go like, all right,

well, even if like the guest is hating it and it's not going well, I just can kind of put my head down and go like, I'm just going to say what I decided I was going to say. But now I like wait. And then I like hear what you say, which often you'll just like, right.

Like I'll go Thomas and you go Thomas the bomb is, and I'll be like, I've become a little something. Maybe not. Exactly as funny. Maybe not exactly as funny as that. Maybe not as funny, but pretty close to as funny as that. And I'll be like, I don't know. So that has made me kind of go like, and we've had some good guests. I don't know if you saw, we had David Sedaris.

Oh, nice. Yeah. How was that? Awesome. It was fun. Yeah. Yeah. He went in the studio? Yeah. Doing it.? Awesome. It was fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here in the studio?

Yeah. Doing it. He kicked Devin's ass. Did he? I could see that. I could see that also. He didn't kick his ass, but he roughed him up a lot. Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah. He handled him. He handled him in a way where it's like Devin knew. Because Devin was like, you know what? I didn't love Calypso. Uh-huh. Not me. That's Devin.'t love Calypso. Not me. That's Devin.

I loved Calypso. Yeah. And he said, well, how do you love fat Lipso? And he gave him one. He gave him a fat Lipso. And he just clobbered him? Yeah. Not clobbered him, but he did like, yeah, just beat him.

Beat him around a little bit. Did he bring his carbuncle to show you guys? The carbuncle? Yeah. The one he tried to feed to a dead turtle? It's in... Was that what that was? It's in the book Calypso.

Calypso. That may have been... There was a dead turtle. Oh, he brought the turtle? Yeah. I didn't see what he was trying to feed. I heard David Sedaris is touring with a taxidermied turtle. That's pretty smart.

That would be in keeping with what we saw. I like that. I'm a fan. Hollywood Handbook. Hey guys, support for today's show comes from Dashlane. Dashlane makes everything you do online easier. Fill out forms fast, remember all your passwords, and keep your online data accessible and safe with this all-in-one app.

It even safely remembers and autofills all your login information so you won't get slowed down by forgotten or misspelled passwords. Plus, it works across devices so you can access your accounts no matter what device you're using, computer or phone. I am ready to reveal my former secret strategy for coming up with passwords and codes. Unbreakable passwords. Yeah, Kevin for passwords and codes breakable passwords yeah kevin which unfortunately were breakable kevin i noticed that you're speaking on mute throughout uh my own speaking and maybe don't be on video for that then and the effect that it has is while my words are coming out your mouth is is moving and it's very chilling to me thanks uh the so what i would what i had was an enigma machine and it was a just one so yes i started with i started with a few so this is what happened

to me enigma machine uh code devising contraption that could create uh passwords that were essentially unbreakable um but it did end up being stolen by the crew of the u-571 which uh was the boat that stole the enigma machine in the movie they have been just like cruising around and stealing every other machine that they can find and their enigma machine that they can find. And their enigma machine they initially stole now has the codes to reveal the location of every other enigma machine. Yes. And so they would drive the submarine to my house, and they would take my machine,

and they would return it to the United States government and use it to hack all my passwords and take my crypto. Dashlane is basically an Enigma machine that is online and it is unstealable and you cannot do ever a hack on it. Yeah, no, that's part of what I love about Dashlane. I obviously, for a long time, thought no one would be able to hack my password because it was long and it was,

I thought, pretty cleverly hidden where I wrote out the entire lyrics to the song The Real Slim Shady by Eminem, but it was The Real Slim Shawnee. And I would spell my name different ways in every part of the chorus. So I thought no way anyone could ever find it. Unfortunately, I had written all that down. And I had made several copies so that I didn't lose it because I couldn't always remember how I spelled my name in the different points. And I had distributed those copies accidentally to all the hackers in the United States and in Russia and in parts of Australia, which is Criminal Island. Ready to enter a radically easier Internet?

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Hollywood handbook. slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys but i have never really figured out how we got something made yeah we had we talk about it people come you come on the show and a lot of times we'll say hey let's do your podcast okay and we'll figure out nothing that shows much more successful and we'll deconstruct it like you were saying about the other thing. Yeah, let's do it.

The other thing. And we'll do an event day. So first we have to find a movie. Great. Did we choose one? Which one? I was hoping. But that's actually what we were going to do.

Great, let's do it. And that's part. Let's do it. But this is your process, which is that you show up and you say, did we? No, well, normally I've watched the movie already before arriving to do the podcast. So in this instance, theoretically, we would find a movie all three of us have already seen. We've seen it. Because we're not going to be able to like watch, unless we break, go watch the movie now or watch the movie on our phones.

We can say we did that. If the movie's really funny, an idea, we can say we did that. Okay, but how are you going to talk the specific... Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah. No, I'm just saying, we don't know which one... Maybe there is a movie we've all seen. It's unlikely.

If we haven't... Well, let's go... Let's try... I think first, let's try and figure out a movie we've all seen. Okay. Because that... That's a shortcut. That and we're golden.

If we can't, then we can come up with a solution. Dude, but if we come up with a funny-ass movie... Yeah one of us has seen or none of us have seen, we'll just say that. Well, sometimes, remember, it's not about how funny the movie is. It's about how poorly the movie has gone in execution. We're not looking—How Did This Get Made is not a show about comedy movies. A lot of times, I know how it's got made. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, well, then that's like context that you can bring to the episode that we're going to do. Well, does that disqualify me from the show? Not at all. Yeah. Alright, let's think of a movie. But what is disqualifying him? Just curious. Because we are like narrowing it down, I guess. We've come pretty

close to, yeah. Getting me out of this thing. I don't think anything would disqualify you. If anything, i think like we could keep doing the episode uh you could keep doing the episode without haze in myself like i think you're the only person you do a solo how did this get me you're the only freaking hardcore history yeah yep like a six hour yes like a six-hour debrief on whatever movie we choose. But we do still have to. Let's pick a movie. Let's get started by picking a movie because I think that's going to be good.

A movie that everybody saw. I think it would be best if all three of us have seen it. Okay. Well, I think the safest place to start is you say any movie that you have seen that could be good. That could be good to talk about. Yeah, that should be good for this. Not one that you guys did already. That we maybe haven't talked about on How Did This Get Made.

Yeah. And by the way, anybody can throw out a movie. I'm not going to have seen it. If anybody has seen something that they would love to talk about. You know, for example, let's see. Can it be a music video? Of course, it can be a music video. How did this get made?

The music video edition. Go ahead. What do you got? I don't have anything. Oh, okay. Got it. No, I was just thinking that. No, no.

It's good to... You know what? There must be a really good movie. Let's not even think about it that way. Before we even choose a movie, let's say that, yes, Sean, music videos are valid, movies are valid, episodes of television are valid,

episodes of podcasts are valid. How did this episode of this podcast... Anything... How did this get played like you hit play on your podcast? Well, that is actually a podcast. No, it's not, because the name of the show is How Did This Get Played Like You Play On Your Podcast. No, no, there is a podcast

called How Did This Get Played. Yeah, but it's not called How Did This Get Played Like It Got Played On Your Podcast. No, no, no, I understand, but there is a podcast. It's only going to be confusing because what that phrase is is its own podcast. Oh, this is the same thing we ran into with This American Life We Lead. How so? Which apparently was not okay, because

we just said, like, we had this cool idea for a show, which was like sort of these little, like, stories from life. And we'd tell, like, you know, three acts of, like, a theme. And we would call it This American Life We Lead, the two of us. Would you look at us now? And we get served with papers by Devin. Really? Yes.

Devin. Devin's not filling these out. He's actually serving you. Yes. It's a sideline. Devin, are you a processor? Yeah, well, you got to fill in the bills somehow. Could it be a commercial for an ice cream cake?

Fill in the bills? The gap. How does one fill in the bills? Some of them are empty. You got to fill them up with money. Just fill in zero of those. Just fill in the bills? Dude, I'd love to fill in bills some of them are empty you gotta fill them up just fill in zero just fill in the bills dude I'd love to fill in

my old bills who's getting blank bills most people want a blank check blank check the podcast that's a podcast it is a podcast

no I mean literally it's a podcast it's called blank check yeah and that was like a big issue when we started our own podcast which was called what uh blank check the gates which is a movies it's a movie podcast yes it's about movies yeah it's about like when it's about not having we have to go again because there was

a hair in the on the lens yeah Wait, wait, don't tell me. Okay, go ahead. I'm ready now. Yeah, we had. We did what the fuck is that? Yeah, we did. You made it weird for us to be here together. Yep.

In this room. Sure, sure, sure. Absolutely. And there are more. Sure. There's sure. Absolutely. And there are more. Sure. There's a bunch more. There's a million and they're frankly

diminishing returns. You know what you guys could do? Comedy Death Ray. Yes, we could do that now. That's available to us. We'd start it all over again. Nobody remembers

how that thing started. We just do that now and inject the spont spontaneity, like the live format and like the freshness of it. Oh, so you think that was lacking? You're going to inject that back in? Oh, no, I'm saying it's lacking now.

Oh, oh, oh, I see. I see, I see. Got it, got it. We're re-injecting it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Comedy Death Ray Romano. I was just going to make the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So... Comedy Death Ray Romano.

I was just going to make the same... I was literally right there. So a movie is... Oh, yeah. Was there a movie called The Fonz? I don't think there is. Okay. But, I mean, we can do...

We can do an episode of Happy Days. But isn't it weird that they did just do a movie called The Fonz? At the time. Right there. At the time. Yeah. One of the most popular things. We would do it now.

One of the most iconic characters in TV history. I agree. Like, I think, would you put The Fonz in the top 10 characters of all time? Of TV history? Most iconic? You know what? Characters. Books, TV, anything.

Wow. David Copperfield. Music videos. David Copperfield, Matty Ziegler from music videos, and The Fonz. Interesting. Yeah. Imagine that dinner party. Imagine Dragons, that dinner party Imagine Dragons that dinner party

Okay And those are I mean Do those Can you do How did this get made A band Yeah

Sure you can How did this get making a band How did you How did this get making a band Yeah Is that Is that I mean did he's involved

Yeah Right How did this get Making a band To make her dance? Oh, yeah. Bands to make a dance. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we could keep going. Oh, yeah. Just one long title. We could do the rest of the episode just populating one title. It could just be one really long title. We could.

Yep. That could be. We could do that. Have you guys done that on your show? That's a segment. That's a segment. That's a new segment. So you used to have segments and you don't have them anymore? Correct. Which one? that could be we could do that have you guys done that on your show that's a segment that's a segment that's a new segment that's so you did you

you used to have call Scott you used to have segments and you don't have them anymore correct we abandoned it almost immediately what's one you used to have

I couldn't even remember oh I think June had a segment where she talked about wigs cause all the movies would have wigs yeah wig talk wig talk thank you

I believe that was a segment but like you know like again they lasted like an archivist yeah the archivist, Devin. Blows off the dust off his book. Also, too much dust.

Yeah, I know. Why is it so dusty? I haven't had to open in a while. No segments. Yeah, we abandoned segments almost immediately. A movie. What's a movie? Okay, we just need a movie and we'll be...

Oh, you know what would be fun? Did they make a movie out of Harry and the Hendersons? Oh, yeah. Did they? Because that would be a good one if they did. Here's the thing. Good word. I think they did.

It was just called The Hendersons. Oh, interesting. Because they couldn't get Harry on board. Yes, the Harry. Yeah, it was like how Keanu wouldn't do Speed 2 Cruise Control. It was like Harry wouldn't do the Harry and the Hendersons movie. So movies, kind of like the Ice Storm. Did you ever see that?

Ang Lee's the Ice Storm? Yes. Of course. But it's just like... I see every movie that has a key party. Maybe I should say I saw it. We could do that one. Cool cough, man.

Which one? It was cool. That was pretty cool. I mean, it was cool. I mean, like, I don't love just open coughing in the tiny room while Corona's on. LA County state of emergency declared today, Hayes. Because of Corona virus. You're just like ripping coughs in the studio.

Full disclosure, I do have corona fever. But that's a marketing, that's Corona Beer's marketing campaign. Yeah. Correct. I have corona extra virus. If Corona was smart, the beer, they would put out an ad campaign immediately that is just about this virus. This is what I, like, people

record podcasts. Everyone banks them. They do. And they're recording these. Everybody records podcasts. And you guys bank them, what, like nine months in advance at this point? We're banking them like crazy, bro. And you only do live ones. No, we do Studio 2. Double dip. We do Studio 2.

We did a studio run a couple weeks ago. We gotta get that double dip money. First I gotta get that ticket taste, and then I gotta get those ad bucks. That's what I love. But I've got a corona fever ad campaign suggestion.

This is my observation, which is that we are, on every show, people are talking about coronavirus months in advance of when the episode comes out, where it could be in very poor taste. Oh, sure. Uh-huh. Wait, when is this coming out? When is this coming out, Kevin?

What number is this? We don't know if this one's slated for air. 3.36-ish. Oh, wow. And you guys put out three a week? How many do you do? What's your deal? We do three podcasts a week, but they're not all this one.

We're doing a lot of podcasts. Are you guys still doing that thing where you record an episode, it gets released, and you record another episode, and it gets filed away? Yes. One for us, one for them. Because you've got like a shadow. You've banked a shadow amount of episodes, right?

Shadow selves, yes. And if one of you dies, those get released, or both of you die? It's the tethered. Oh, we could do us. Oh, we could see how us got made. You guys, we've been trying to think of a movie this whole time.

I did not see that, but I did live it at Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights Oh wow That's so exciting for you So I actually did I saw it

From inside the movie So you lived And I wasn't there And was it scary? Parts of it were a little bit scary When you do the When you go to Halloween Horror Nights How do they find someone

That is your doppelganger? So that is a really interesting How do they Us your ass? Yeah like how do you us you don't know who's coming through the door how do you us people who are walking through the maze they make you wait a really long time okay and so i'm assuming they have a casting director yeah i don't look i don't know what's happening like you don't watch that process but they're

like okay like they take a couple pictures they ask you questions for sean is this one of the things that you know how the maze at Halloween Horror Nights the us maze got made is this one of your selfie cam on top of a jumpsuit smart the whole dog and pony show

the interviews and the photos taking your sizes it's a cell phone with a camera so that's what a selfie cam is that's selfie cam so smart selfie cam Yeah, no, it is a cell phone with a camera. Reverse. So that's what a selfie cam is. That's selfie cam. So smart, selfie cam.

It's selfie cam on top of a jumpsuit. And so you go like, wow, they really did find a guy that looks like me. And he's saying it to you at the same time. And you're going, he's even mimicking all my speech. Wow. Well, that would be unsettling. Oh, God. When they us your ass, man.

Oh, fuck. Forget it. It was a little scary. I saw the guy that was made up to look like Tim Heidecker. And I remember when he did the show, and I was pretty nervous. And I had to do it by myself because Sean was having a baby that night. Oh, so it was just you and Tim? Yeah, it was just me and Tim.

And had you already seen us? No, no, no. And I, I still have not, but I have lived. Oh,

sorry. Sorry. I mean the, the guy, I called the hospital bathroom. Oh yeah. I called in. Yeah.

And the nurse actually was like, what the fuck are you doing? Your wife's having a baby. And you were like, I gotta do this pod, bro. I was like, well,

it's interesting. So, um, do you know anything about dynamic ads? I'm sorry. Have you heard of the boys? So we could do, so we can't really do us because I didn't see that.

Okay, well, let's come up with one we've all seen. You all seen Mumford? And Sons? No. Did not see... Mumford the Lawrence Caston movie? You see Mumford?

Jason Lee? Jason Lee, yeah. Skateboarding rich man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Hope Davis in that? Maybe she might be. But maybe not. Maybe not.

Secret Life of Dennis Secret life of dentists? Dennis Oh Dennis Jesus Dennis Yeah Yeah

I think that was like a show Mumford's on the sweater from The The Outlandish Police officer movie Right? Isn't that what it says on

From Oh Beverly Hills Cop? Yes I believe that's true the outlandish police officer movie. Right? Isn't that what it says on from... Oh, Beverly Hills Cop? Yes. I believe that's true. Mm-hmm. And this is, you do this, you like... This is most of the show. This is the first portion of every podcast. Okay, that's a segment. Paul, June, and I have a segment where we try

and figure out a movie we've all seen that we can talk about. Okay. Let's see. Oh, have you guys seen like Olympus Has Fallen? Can you just let him stop you first? Yeah. Can I just stop you?

Yeah, go ahead. I've seen London Has Fallen. Oh, fuck. I've seen London Has Fallen Ah Fuck I've not seen that It's I'm sure it's similar I mean if we want to Well there's a whole

Has Fallen trilogy now You know Angel Has Fallen I believe was the last one Excuse me Let's No no We can We can cut all this out But let's no no we can

we can cut all this out but let's just think of like the thing we can't we can't let's just we can cut the we can cut the

we can cut the we can cut the we can cut the I mean we can just find the thing and just like laser right in on it so you have

unlimited edits you seemed yeah on the show this is a good question actually for us to use in our next negotiation

like you can edit as many. Just the way you were like, oh, we can just cut that out. Like, you have an unlimited number. Sorry, I forget sometimes that edits cost a dollar. I forget that every edit costs a dollar. So we can edit literally as much as we want. Because you got the ticket money.

Because we got that ticky money. And then we get those ads money. Munch, munch,unch munch We get it all We're taking it all We're taking all of it And we're using it all for edits And t-shirt Kevin Merch is so fucking bored

Merch? Yeah what t-shirts are moving Wet t-shirts are moving these days? Wet t-shirts are moving very fast The wet ones the pre-wet t-shirts move so fast Yeah

Cause I love going I love your live shows cause of the wet t-shirt contest We show up to these live shows we pre-soak the shirts Yeah It's these wet t-shirt contests where basically

it's you wring the shirts out and whoever gets the most liquid out of their shirt has the wettest t-shirt Yeah It's one of the most thrilling contests where basically it's you wring the shirts out and whoever gets the most liquid out of their shirt has the wettest T-shirt. It's one of the most thrilling contests I've ever seen. Oh, it's so exciting. It's so exciting. Soak up those shirts, pre-soak them, and then we got pre-soak, pre-sale.

Pre-soak, pre-sale. God, so it's the merchy money. And you get to keep the water when they wring it out. You get to use it again. Yeah. So now you're making money coming and going. Yeah, and every T-shirt's made of terrycloth. So everything's a towel.

Every shirt's a towel. Every shirt's a towel. And that's a promise. Every shirt's a towel. Every shirt a towel. Well, we just have to think of a movie. Yeah, that's it. Because Kevin looks so bored.

And it just seems to me that... Do you want to talk about, Kevin, what you're not enjoying? Yeah. I want to pitch a movie idea. What about Pete Davidson's new special? Alive from New York? Yeah. How did Pete Davidson's new special get made?

Peak Davidson. I haven't... You think we're at Peak Davidson? I think we're close. Another cough? He'd cover his mouth. Jesus Christ. Interesting take, Sean.

Hayes has something else. I think we might be at peak Davidson. So we do a movie of like how the special, I didn't see that one. I didn't see it. I saw part of Judds. I saw part of Judds. Okay, well, I've seen part of Pete. Definitely watch the trailer a bunch of times.

Okay, we'll do one of the bits. Oh, yeah. Okay. But also feel free to make it your own. Okay. Okay. So, Louis C.K. tried to get me fired my first year at SNL,

and this is that story. So fired my first year at SNL, and this is that story. So my first year at SNL, Louis C.K. came in to host the season finale, and it was very exciting for me. At the time, he was a very well-respected comedian. At the time. So he's kind of holding court out by the elevators, talking to everybody, you know, cracking people up.

And I decided to go into my office and smoke a little. Ah, sheesh, mommy. That was your... That's my... Okay. Smoke a little of the sweet hash. Sheesh, mommy. That's a straight up Sean right there.

And that's how you know that I'm inspired by his material, which is a real life story. But I haven't stolen it. So I come out and I'm just trying to get out and go home. And Louie looks at me and he goes, look how fucking high Pete is right now. And he gets in my face like, you fucking idiot. You're smoking your career away, you piece of shit. And I'm thinking, holy shit, this is really intense, you know, because at the time, of course, he was someone whose respect I really wanted.

At the time, he was top of his game, considered the best comedian working. And so I go home and I think, oh God, I was just high. That didn't really happen to me. I probably just thought it happened because I smoked so much a sweet hashish, mommy. So this is a bit of a catchphrase for you. It's becoming one. So I get back in the next day, and Louie's sitting in Lauren's office, and he comes out, and I get called into the office, and they go, Lauren wants to see you. Now, I hadn't been called into the boss's office, you know? And I go in, and I'm thinking, uh-oh, you know, I don't think this is going to be for something good.

And he goes, so, Louie talked to me, and he said you smoked a little too much of that sweet hashish, mommy. Wow. Catchphrase and a Lorne impression. Uh-huh. And I go, ah, yeah. And he goes, yeah, he no likey, Petey. He thinks I should fire you. And I go, yikes.

And then I go, am I getting fired? And he goes, no. And I go, why not? And he goes, I don't know. And I have that conversation every year. So that is one of the bits from the special. Wow. Pretty long.

Is it a lot of stuff like that? No. I'd love to watch someone animate that. Sure. Yeah. What you just did. My version of Pete's. That could be good for a video podcast.

Faithful version of Pete's opening bit. faithful version of video podcast that's a segment that's a segment video podcast network should animate that people animate you guys doing other people's comedy routines but with your catchphrases then he talks about uh he's babysitting kids sucking on his finger and sucking on it a little too good. Wait, what? Yeah. That's around where I was like, kind of missed the Louis C.K. story. Hollywood Handbook. Well, there's a reason they call me the March Maniac. I get maniacal around this time of year because March Mania is happening and DraftKings Sportsbook, one of America's top-rated sportsbook apps, is giving new customers and maniacs like me

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Getting ripped off. harry's agrees so what we want to talk about today with sorry you said harry's or harry i said harry's we always talk about harry's first and then we talk about you clean harry uh who are sort of our new noted mask guy i don't know mask guy for this campaign. Talk about Harry's first. What we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently. A ridiculous or fun situation

that you were in recently. That's the prompt and that'll take us into discussing the product. How great the product is. Funny to me or funny to just anyone i i mean do you you feel like there's a difference there like you yeah i mean i've had things happen to me that i suppose you would find funny okay but that you didn't find funny and and you have not really

and you have things that have happened that you would find funny but the rest of the world would not yeah i guess i'm interested in that one that i would find funny yes but that others would not find funny you seem to think that you have like a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not i ordered uh um like a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night like a lavender scent okay and uh they accidentally sent me two okay so you understand that most people would not buy that funny or ridiculous but but you but you do i just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the at the shipping uh warehouse harry saw customers getting screwed over by questionable that's a come up overpriced shaving product harry on the come up i decided to do something better. Instead of charging the same stupid

high prices, Harry's found their own way to make a beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price of other big brands. Bogo, baby! Exceptional products, honest prices. Is there a bogo as part of this? Because I don't want to be talking about deals that

aren't. No, but I, Clean Harry punk, actually's two bottles buy one get one their deodorant their lotion their body wash their hair gel all very high quality products they all smell great german engineer blades made in their own factory they stay sharp longer you get a five blade razor weighted handle foaming shave gel and a travel cover for just three bucks at harrys.com slash the boys highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry no risk trial don't like your shave no worries it's on them getting ripped off isn't funny do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find yes yes sure but that you didn't yeah so you're attuned to this stuff

i got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat and it somehow turned on and you know that that was something other people would find funny based on well the responses you were you were getting a lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find it pretty humorous when my leg started spinning around and flipping me over what happened was i was holding my laundry basket with both hands and i saw oh still a sock left in the dryer so i stuck my foot and tried to pick it up with my little toesies i wear sandals. Punk. And as I'm picking it up, I just sort of tripped,

and my foot got wedged in between. There's like slats in there and stuck inside there. And then I don't know who, somebody pushed the button or what, but it turned on, and the thing starts flipping over, and I'm flying in circles. Help, punk. Help me, you punksks are your clothes staying in the basket are you going fast no no no i'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle get started with a 13 trial set for just three dollars at harry's.com slash the boys that's harry's.com

slash the boys for a three dollar trial set hollywood handbook did they ever ask you to do video for Video Podcast Network? No. They didn't ask us to do that. I don't even know what that is. Do you remember this? Earwolf. Yeah. Back when the studio was very hot all the time.

Was it the other studio? Yes. The hot one. The old studio? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. And they would be like, oh, here's what we should do in this very hot room is bring some cameras and big electrical equipment in and lights.

This was in the all-rich days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we were all rich. Mm-hmm. Now just he is. Yeah, I know. It was like, let's take this thing. Basically, we were reinventing television together.

Sure, sure, sure. From podcasts. Moving backwards. Yes. Podcasts moving backwards towards TV. Yeah, no. It rocked. And they animated it at one of your famous Improv for Humans segments.

Where you play a little devil. Have you guys ever... I'm sure you have, and I know you haven't done it, but what is the closest you've come to signing what is, I'm sure, one of the big TV deals to turn Handbook into a TV show? The big show? Yeah.

Because they've come for Doughboys. They came for Bang Bang. They've come for us. People want it. The closest we've come for Doughboys. They came for Bang Bang. They've come for us. Like, people want it. The closest we've come. People want it. We took a meeting. Netflix?

No, not with a network of any kind. Okay. But someone at the meeting said, It almost seems like you're yawning, but not quite. Yeah, and it's going to be a while in the making. And someone in the meeting after the meeting did say that they had talked to someone from comedy central, which is still technically a network.

Sure. And that the person who worked there was actually interested in maybe doing something with a podcast. Oh, cool. Now this person had not heard our show specifically. No, not technically, no. I'm going to give you guys an opportunity right now to just straight up name names.

Do you want to just... Okay. Who are we talking about here? I guess there's very little upside. Power players. Except I do get to say something. It shows time on the show. That's true.

I will say that. For me, it's the currency of existence. Sure, sure, sure. It's time to fill. Yes. We were asked. You can't just fill it all with wet mouth sounds. No.

This is somebody who you'll know. Just fill it all with wet mouth sounds. No. This is somebody who you'll know. We were asked three or four times if we could please make a sizzle reel of some of our best, most accessible podcast moments to be delivered to the Ghost Panther out of McKay. Sure. So that he could find out if he might like it.

This is good. did this get made the Hollywood handbook sizzle reel to send to Adam McKay the ghost panther and I'm not familiar with the ghost panther as a nickname but I'll just keep rolling with it how long was the sizzle oh is that his thing

oh thank you so how long was this sizzle? Oh, is that his thing? Oh, yeah. Thank you. Sorry. So how long was this sizzle reel? Kevin, do you remember putting this together? Yeah, it was like seven minutes. It was too long. Here's what I'm going to say. Have you guys released the sizzle reel?

We should release it as an episode. Much like I say release the Snyder Cut, release the sizzle reel. Where is the Hollywood Handbook sizzle reel? And why haven't the fans been able or allowed to hear it? release the sizzle reel where is the Hollywood handbook sizzle reel and why haven't the fans been able or allowed to hear it release the gad cut

hi Ayo we're just like we're rolling hi we're rolling episodes not yet Ayo and Ayo is a mic beast.

Ayo, were you disappointed? I saw you cheering a little bit when I was doing the Pete Davidson. Were you disappointed I left out the actual punchline where he talks about the best day of his life was waking up and seeing that Louis had assaulted women? And seeing that Louis had assaulted women with seven pounds of sweet hashish, mommy. with seven pounds of sweet hashish, mommy.

Jason. Hayes. What car are you driving? 1989 Toyota Land Cruiser. I don't believe that. Come on, man. You can't afford that. 2012 Prius. Okay.

And that's a man after Hayes' own heart. Volkswagen Tiguan. Wow. Wait. Honda Odyssey. You just named both of our cars. Did I? In order, yes.

Amazing. Exactly. Down to the year for me. You're welcome. Oh, damn. Am I speaking with the TikTok man right now? You're just some sort of Jason's left

the TikTok man arrived Tiguan you're just like screaming Tiguan the tiger iguana yes I suppose those are

my two primary animal influences and so we just say what Devin is driving do I call it yeah wouldn't mind oh also a Prius.

He doesn't tell you. No, it's not part of the segment. He doesn't tell you. I don't tell. Yeah. He just says, I don't want an answer from him.

No. Who would? Yeah. Make me sick. The idea of him answering. Did we ever come up with a movie that all three of us had seen? No. So,

let me think. Did you guys see The Irishman? Very respect. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.