Hollywood Handbook - Jason Nash, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: July 14, 2014

Sean and Hayes are happy to finally relax after their newsworthy week. Following an installment of "Ehh? Wrong," JASON NASH appears to talk how difficult the cast members of his movie "Jason Nash Is Being Married" were, speak on how filmmaking is really just like cooking a fine meal, and walk the guys through one of his famous "Mirror Movies."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And I'm like, that's not a name. Those are two things. And she says, no, that's just my name. And she had never heard of either of those individual things. I had to explain both concepts to her. And imagine how embarrassing to find out that all along. Was she lying? I hate tricksters. And I feel like a lot of, you know. And acting especially.

It's like I'm taking something out into the real world. This little idea I have that someone who's named after two things. Well, they're being a trickster. And they're doing this trick thing where they're playing this character. I don't know if it's for, you know, their SNL reel or something. But they're doing these trickster things because those is things. They're just things. And she's acting like it's a person.

One of them's big and one of them's small. So I can see that being a funny SNL character where it's like, I'm a lake and now I'm a bell. And you just spread out when you're a lake and pretend to have like a fish in you. Yeah. Then you get really tiny and you make a little small noise. And there's a noise component to that too.

Yeah. Which they love on that show. So it's just, it's, it's i don't what and how did you meet this girl what is she like uh she's an actress she was you know when you're like waiting to get on the chairlift yeah there's the person who's like pulling the lever and stuff for the for the chairlift and uh yeah she would well shred the mountain? I definitely don't want to get to start this conversation again. I don't either. All right, it sounds like you do.

That's not why I brought it up. I just didn't know you went to the mountain this weekend. Fine. What up, what up? Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red cover line. Back always with this industry we call shibas. Big We, you guys have been reading a lot about this LeBron thing.

It is actually, it's a huge relief to be able to discuss it uh just to be able to you know it's just been as advice i mean this is a show where we give advice to people yeah never work with athletes because it's so frustrating and they always have their way they want to do things and they don't see the big picture and the sort of art of it all. And basketball especially, there's this immediate gratification sensibility that comes from basketball. You need to just be getting points all the time. Points, points, points, points, points. Points, points, points. Which is why we love soccer, which is because it's the ballet aspect of it.

It's not just like as Americans we just need this trophy every time we put something into something else. I love soccer, best sport in the world. But to all the people, too, who have said like, oh, it's boring, people don't score points, I guess you really had to eat your words during that one blowout that happened last week you know the one incredibly lopsided game that happened that really taught you a lesson about saying the sport's boring

there's one game where one team scored a bunch of points and fucking won by seven goals so isn't that exciting? because you keep saying it's boring I think that's who they were sort of talking to when they did that game because they're because they're saying like well is this what you wanted yeah every time they do a kick it's like do you like this every time i do a kick i

kick it in the net you know and so because a lot of people had been saying it's boring which i don't get and then it's like oh because there's not enough goals well what if one team scored a ton of goals would that be exciting? Right. Because then the game's over. But everyone said they were sorry, and I think that was a good resolution. The LeBron thing, you know, when we said do the show and go to Miami four years ago or whatever that was, you would not believe the pushback from this guy saying like,

well, why would I do, you know, this is where I live. It's literally the second he gets the pages and he's just like, he's flipping to the end. He's not looking at the whole like build up and the rest of what we have going on for him afterwards. He just goes like, well, this part, people aren't going to like my character when he goes to miami and he does the whole thing you know and uh in this line i look like such an asshole taking my talents to south beach counting the championships and stuff like that it's not a normal person i

thought was it's like well that's gonna make it so powerful later and he's's like, later what? I'm like, oh, you didn't even finish reading it. And he wants to know the very, very end. He's asking all the way through, like, how does this turn out? And we're saying, like, well, are you going to tell people? Well, when we wanted him to lose the championship this past year and just get fucking waxed by the Spurs, he's writing, like, well, wouldn't my character want to make more basket shots? And he doesn't see it as part of the larger arc.

Go watch Barton Fink or something. I really feel like my character would do a big dunk here. And it's like, okay, but we've seen that already. Yeah. And the next time we do it, you know it's not going to be any better. It's going to be all the same. Well, it's just like, it's a more, yes.

It's a more interesting, he just doesn't understand movie arcs, is you have to lose some stuff to get some stuff back and now it's the big homecoming the hero and people are loving this part of the movie and this sort of sports world you know it's totally bought it hook line and sinker and and now he's arguing because we've written this really ugly leg injury into the next few scenes, and he doesn't want to do it, and it's just like, I don't know. I'm starting to wonder if it was a mistake to ever get involved. He says, well, it's going to hurt. You know, movies hurts.

Yes, movies hurts. you know movies hurts yes movies hurts anyway for anyone who's a basketball head that's a nice little

peek behind the curtain and we thank you for watching we've gotten a lot of great feedback all week

and wait till you see what happens with this Mello thing if you think yes we have this whole B story with Mello that we've been

sort of nursing for a while keep an eye on Lala is all I have to say about the the Mello thing his wife

Lala has just sort of been operating the background for a little while but you know she has her you know when you have someone like her

who's involved in a project like this you want to give her like something meaty to really well she's our Megan Draper yes you know where it's you let her do some stuff in the background but we are who's involved in a project like this, you want to give her something meaty to really... Well, she's our Megan Draper.

Yes. You know, where it's... You let her do some stuff in the background, but we are ultimately going to drive a big story out of her and have her, you know... I mean, in the case of Megan Draper, she's going to get murdered by Charles Manson, but it's, you know... That's not...

It's not a one-to-one comparison, but it's going to be interesting when she takes center stage. Yes. We want to do a quick – we're going to get into our guest, Jason Nash, as our guest very shortly. But we want to do a quick – there's a segment we do called Ain't Wrong. It doesn't necessarily apply in this case. We'll get into it in a little more detail.

But we appreciate when everyone rates us on iTunes. Every review is nice. We love feedback, and it makes us better. I mean, the good feedback is great. The bad feedback, if anybody actually had a good point to make, would make us even better. We would love to get some feedback that actually offered something constructive that we could improve on. Oh, that would be wonderful.

And someone who understands what they're listening to. And it just is so unfortunate that a lot of the people with negative feedback are also some of our stupidest fans who really don't fucking get shit about shit. fans who really don't fucking get shit about shit. And so we want to do this segment, and we'll read what is our most recent review from a user named MrBritishPetroleum, which I actually do not think is that cool or funny to use that as your name,

to represent yourself as being a part of BP, which makes animals sick, I think is disgusting. Just for starters. And so that's the place that we're coming from. Yes, we're coming from, it's like this guy doesn't have a good sense of humor. And isn't it funny that our stupidest fans are the negative ones and that they have the worst taste? And this is in poor taste. And if you know anything about peak oil, Hayes? Yeah.

Engineer Cody? Yeah. Do you know about peak oil? Yeah. Talk about it. Explain peak oil to our listeners. Steps for successful passing. Now that you know how dangerous passing can be,

what steps can you take to pass safely and successfully? For the first step, of course, is to know the passing is legal. After that answer is questioned affirmatively, here are some steps to remember. Always look around for any hazards in the area. If anyone is trying to pass you, is there enough room to execute the pass? No. Cody's studying for his license exam.

Cody. Okay. This is not... So you're learning to drive right now? You're learning to drive while you're supposed to be listening for the show for any mistakes that happen? Remember your head turns for a reason. Turn and look over.

Cody, stop it. Cody, stop it. Stop it. Don't do that again. You can't just be learning to drive. And I think we said that we're very excited for you. I'm now worried that that has encouraged you to the degree that you think you can just be learning to drive all the time.

And so I'll say this. This is how I honestly feel about it, Cody. It's not going to happen. Okay? These are harsh words. You're never going to learn. Freeways are safer than city streets or open highways because there are fewer freeways to interview. Don't do it again.

Stop it. Now, did you hear Hayes? It's not going to happen. So give it up. Close the book and give it up because you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Find a new interest. You might be able to figure out... You're not going to figure out how to work a car.

It's a big, complicated machine. Don't interrupt me again. Now we got you that yo-yo toy, and I think that you might be able to learn how to do something like that. That's something worth putting your time into, because give it a year or two, you might figure that out. The concept stay in your lane actually is very fitting for this situation, but unfortunately it's not something that I could say to you because it would just be like i was speaking an alien language it's

showing card tricks to a dog you know what i mean that's what i feel like i'm doing when i explain let's get back to the review the mr british petroleum one star the subject line is what's worse than two hollywood douchebags two guys pretending to be than two Hollywood douchebags? Two guys pretending to be Hollywood douchebags. The idea that Hollywood insiders can be annoying is an idea almost as old as Hollywood itself. Yet these two have dedicated hours and hours to the schick of acting horribly to others and their guests. If their comedic personalities were more fleshed out, a la Colbert, then maybe this might be approaching something interesting. But as it is, the incredibly thin premise is torture to listen to. So we would say ain't wrong in this situation.

Normally we go ain't wrong. You don't get it. This is a little more complicated than that. It's coming from such a place of confusion and misunderstanding that it's almost the eh is like an eh? It's a question. It's eh? Dot dot dot. Dot dot dot question mark.

Eh? Wrong. And here's why. And I sympathize with this person because I see exactly what happened. Exactly what happened, Hayes. Now, we talk about movies on the show. And the person who's listening to the show is obviously. They go in there, Hollywood movies, they get that.

They have a very bare bones understanding of what movies is. And movies is people's pretending to be other people. I see Johnny Depp here. His soul and brain lives in a computer. Johnny Depp's over here, and he is a pirate, and he's just such a mean pirate. And here, I'm watching Nick of Time, and he's got sort of a clock on him to save his kid or something.

And it's always the same guy, but he's pretending, isn't he? Yes. And it seems like this person knows something about movies and wants to learn more. It's familiar with the idea of people pretending to be something else for movies. Yes. And so they listen to this show and they think, well, this must be movies too. And so this concept of pretending to be characters and things like that is is is applied to basically everything in this person's life well anything related to movies in any way they go okay so the

only thing i actually know literally the only thing yes is movies is has pretending. And so they think this podcast, these guys talk movies, okay, they is pretending too. And I don't think they totally get what they're hearing. The effort to listen to this podcast to try and learn more is actually something I really admire, and that's part of the reason that this isn't totally wrong, because they obviously want to listen to this to get better. They know that there's something missing in their understanding and they want to get better,

but they're so stubborn. And this is part of what is frustrating about society as a whole right now, society as a whole right now where the instant gratification. And just that initial instinct to go, I'm confused. I don't understand this. So I'm mad. No, you don't have to be mad. You can't learn from a place of madness. You can only learn from being open. And so don't close off, British Petroleum man,

when as soon as you hear something that is confusing to you, ask your dad or a friend or ask a teacher that you know, what's really going on with the podcast? Because you didn't fucking get it, but there might be somebody in your life who's got half a fucking brain in their head. And I will say some words of encouragement for Mr. British Patrol. You know, it's not all bad. I'm looking a little deeper into this profile.

This is your first iTunes review. As you write more, it's going to get a lot easier. The first one is always, you know, you can really get out there and just eat shit for your first review. I'm so glad that when I did my first iTunes review as a teen, that the internet wasn't the way it is now where everything's just out there for people. Forever.

Because I don't think that I really crushed it. I wasn't quite so confused. I did know how movies is and I was a very funny, cool writer. So that helped. That kind of got me over the hump. But I know that it's been leaps and bounds since then. I'm so much better at leaving them. And I think Mr. British Petroleum, you will improve.

You really will. You have to. This is the worst thing I've ever seen. So there's no way it gets worse. We have a great guest today. Jason Nash is here. He's a comedian, and now recently— Comedian-cum-filmmaker.

Yes, he's a movie man, and he made this movie. Jason Nash is married, and we're so excited to dig into it with him when we come back on Hollywood Handbook So I turn back to the bartender and I go, no I know it, I do recognize you, he goes, nah man you got the wrong guy, but not me and I go, I don't got the wrong guy

you're Cisco and he just left Took off his apron and left Oh my god Cause once you take that apron off It's over They don't let you come back Well it's unsanitary

Hey welcome to Hollywood Handbook An insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names In the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry We call showbiz Very exciting guest today Jason What up, what up? Jason Nash is here. I'm offended. I don't, I'm a very PC person and

junk in the trunk is it's disrespectful. It is very disrespectful. I don't like that at all. Well, that's why he, we sort of sent him out the business and out of town. Oh, yeah.

You can't get away with something like that. I wanted nothing more than for him to do a tasteful hit when we gave him that opportunity and said, write any song you want, we'll make it number one. And he turns around and brings in Smut. And we kept up our part of the deal. Oh, yeah. We put it on the radio because we're not Welchers, but at the same time, you're not going to get another crack at it. I wrote a piece for The New Yorker about Cisco.

It was probably like a 20, 24 page feature. A long read. And just about sexism and feminism. And I find when I defend women, I get a lot more pussy. Isn't that amazing how that works? It's crazy, yeah. And it's just a matter of- It's great, so it a lot more pussy. Isn't that amazing how that works? It's crazy, yeah. And it's just a matter of-

It's great. So it's win-win. And I refer to it, I call it taking the local. Yes. You know? You can take the express and you can just aggressively ask for pussy. Or you can pretend you don't really want it and that you have a lot of respect for it. And the nice thing about the local, not as many people want it sometimes.

Yeah, and you can read on the way there. You can read The New Yorker if you want. Don't fight it. For people who, yeah, it's a newspaper or something for listeners who don't know. And obviously I don't really believe that, that women are equal or anything like that. I don't know what I believe. It's a good brand. It's definitely a good.

These days? It's working. It really gets you places. It's really modern, yeah. Yeah. Ooh, your phone's going off. It's been since the movie came out. It's like everybody. You've been getting phone calls. Yeah, everybody. Mel Gibson called me the other day.

Oh, gosh. And what to do. Yeah. What does Mel say on those calls? Because I've heard phone calls of his before. He's really into improvisers down at UCB. Sure. Really into a lot of the

unknown ones, the ones that are really good that no one knows about. Yeah, about to pop. Yeah. Right out of the surface. Yeah. Because I don't know them, but he'll be like, do you know Bradley Corman? And I'll be like, no. And he has that attitude about it. Brad's doing some stuff. Yeah, you haven't seen his sketch group, Fight Night? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, sure. some stuff. Yeah, you haven't seen his sketch group,

Fight Night? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, sure. Skim Prav Milk, you haven't seen? And I go, no, don't hold it over my head like that, Mel.

So she goes down there and improvises. Oh, does Mel He's one of those drop-in guys. Yeah. Yeah. Who just, hey,

can I get in, can I play with you guys tonight? Is Sean Hayes coming? Are you the side guys? He could. Because they told me Sean, they said Sean L from, Errol said Sean Hayes. This is Sean Hayes' podcast.

Oh, yeah, right, right. I see what's happening, yeah. Are you like, you're like side guys. You're like Muddy and the Motor Mouth or isn't that the show? Professor and the Coyote, but yeah.

Professor, Sean Hayes with Professor and the Coyote. Mm-hmm. And we sort of do, yeah, a lot of his sound drops and stuff. I love Sean Hayes. And he could show up.

He might be here. Really, anytime. He actually might be here. But, you know, while we're waiting until he gets here, let's just keep pushing. Let's talk about the movie.

We would love to talk about the movie. It's your first that you wrote and directed. Yeah. And it's called Jason Nash is Married. Jason Nash is Being Married. Can we just say, so smart. Yeah. Putting your name on the title.

We talk about this all the time. Yeah. And that everything you do is an opportunity to market yourself. And putting your full name in the title of your movie. Jason Nash's Jason Nash was the original title, and Comedy Central said, that's great. And then I actually pulled it back. I was like, oh my gosh.

You know what? Save something for the sequel is a thing I say because there's so many talented but stupid writer directors out there because I see like a Quentin Tarantino movie and it'll be called like what's the name one of his movies I can't even think because they don't there's swears in the title okay so it's like whatever uh the glorious swear word or whatever right yes and so I'm like well why isn't it called The Glorious Quentin Tarantino? Right. Or The Quentin Tarantino-ist swear word. Mm-hmm. You know, because that, to me...

Kill Bill Quentin Tarantino. Yes. Kill Bill Tarantino. Okay, great. Now we're getting somewhere because in the... Or Quentin Tarantino kills Bill and beats him up. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, kills Bill and then, yeah, and beats him up. Mm-hmm. Now that, to me, that's a movie name, and I know what I'm watching. I know who made it. Because otherwise, I'm just like, who is these people? Is one of these the guy that made it? Or I don't know.

So this is what we want to do. So many assholes in the film. I'm glad I made it, but everyone I work with. It's true. To a man, every single person is a fucking asshole. Almost, almost. And there's a lot of people in it. Well, let's, I mean, I was going to say,

look at the cast of your movie. You want to talk about... It almost wasn't worth it. The headache of Andy Richter. Uh-huh. Andy Daly, Paul F. Tompkins, TJ Miller. Gross. Mary Lynn Rice.

Some of these guys we've had in this room before. You know what Andy Richter did? So he's like, he comes to set, and it's a small set. Like, we don't have a lot of money. You know, we have, like, nothing. Really, we had no money. We shot for, like, $10,000. First thing out of his mouth.

Guess what the first thing out of his mouth is. What? Where's my Cokey? My Cokey? Yeah, like that. Does he mean Cookie or does he mean robert we were like what what do you mean we didn't we were like can he not say coca-cola and he wanted coke he wanted cocaine he wanted cocaine he goes no no coke no work no he talks like a little baby

no coke no work yeah that's what he said no worky so, no worky. So then I had to send my mother, who was a PA. Oh, jeez. She's 72 years old. I had to send her to the worst part of El, you know, Skid Row, where homeless people are. She had to go find him coke, and we sat there. You know, time is money, and you guys have made movies. And he takes a long time to do it, in my experience, watching him.

So it's about five hours just sitting there. It's a long process just watching him. You think of doing coke as a pretty quick drug to do, but the ritual involved for Andy Richter. He takes his shirt off. Oh, so you've seen it. You've seen him do coke? Takes his shirt off, licks his chops for a little

while. Licks his chops. You have to say grace. Puts on a Bill Withers record and he puts it down on a slow and he's waiting for a moment. Needs a certain and he's waiting for a moment. Needs a certain CD cover to do it off of. Yes. I can't remember

what it was. Do you guys remember the CD cover? Christopher Cross. Yes. It's got to be a Christopher Cross album and luckily I have

all of them. So we were like at least he had. And he says Chris Cross and there's a common thing where you go get the wrong thing. Yeah, you go get Jump

and then it's like no he needs the one for sailing. And then you're in big trouble. Yeah. I mean, it's an actual nightmare. He takes his shirt off, and he wears it like a do-rag. Yeah. And then after he does the coke, we're like, let's go.

Can we please just shoot your two scenes? Sure, yeah, of course. You think at that point. He's like, no, no, let's talk. I want to talk. And what's he want to talk about? He gets really touchy-feely. And then, you know, the asshole that walked in the door

is suddenly really nice. Sure, yeah. And so we're like kind of just beating children. You know, we're just a ragtag indie film. Oh, yeah. You know, just doing it for the love, doing it for the passion. I never expected it to be anything.

Was going to give all the proceeds to Haiti. Love Haiti. And, you know, it's very up and down. Yeah, it's really, it is tough. And when Andy says, let's talk, he really means let's have a massage. You know, like he gets, because you said he gets touchy-feely. I wasn't going to bring that up. He gets he really means let's have a massage. You know? Like, he gets, because you said he gets touchy-feely. I wasn't going to bring that up. He gets in there, and he's sort of talking, and he's like, ooh, my shoulder's been killing me lately.

He's like, can you get in there real quick? And he's angling for a massage. And if you do talk, he doesn't want you to actually do it. No, shush, shush, shush, shush. That's all you get. Tons of fucking on set. Yeah. Well, this is a crazy thing.

Okay, this is what I thought. Because, like, you've got Paul F. Tompkins and T.J. Miller in the same movie. Pussy hounds. Well, I'd go with see hounds. I'm going, well, at what point would you get them to keep their pants on long enough to shoot this thing? Right. And I know they have had a thing historically. I'm not going to touch that.

I'm not touching that. That is so up and down. You get sued. Paul, TJ, I didn't say that. No, no, nobody said anything but anybody with their eyes open has seen there's something

going on there. These guys, they don't see sex. They're like male, woman, twins. When you are a PFT and you have been able to basically fuck anything that moves from the age of,

I think, six or seven years old, and it's just, it's always been an option, I think that the idea of just traditionally finding a beautiful woman to make love to becomes really boring. And so then it's like, well, what's a challenge? A T.J. Miller, you know, somebody, or anyone, but a T.J. Miller is somebody who kind of keeps you at arm's length.

The pussy posse. The pussy posse, yeah. That's the pussy posse. I don't know who else is in it, but I know it's a bunch of guys. They're the two main ones. Yeah. It's TJ, PFT, DC. DC Pearson.

Yes. We've had most of them on. Dimitri. Dimitri. Dimitri. Crush's Puss. What a vicious fuck round. And Adrian Grenier.

And Adrian Grenier. Adrian Grenier. Adrian, sure. Yeah. Although I think he's faking it. Well, yeah. I think so, too, actually, sometimes. I think he's faking his erections. He's trying to get water to other countries,

so let's leave him alone. Leave the man alone. He just wants to find his daddy in a documentary, okay? What was it like? You hear about working with Rob Corddry. He doesn't people don't he doesn't think

people know he's bald because his wig fell off a long time ago he came to the set with a wig you're supposed to yeah well that was

what his manager said don't say anything about the wig it's not a good wig we lost the other one when he was doing that that rock

Mark Wahlberg movie they lost it it's not his fault so what he's bringing is basically a dish towel and you know when he was doing that rock Mark Wahlberg movie, They Lost It, It's Not His Fault, so what he's bringing in is basically a dish towel. And you can't not but have your eyes go to the top of his head. Yeah, sure. And he's just brushing it. Well, and you have to edit around him sort of pretending to push his hair out of his eyes,

which is a baffling thing to watch when there's no actual hair there. Yes. But physically, it's very strange how he keeps sort of stroking it behind his ears. And he twirls it when he's thinking and stuff. Yeah, and he's twirling nothing. Yeah, well, it looks like he's calling himself crazy. He's sort of making a circle with the finger next to his head. Which is funny.

It's funny to watch him do that. It's funny, but it's not appropriate for the scene. No. Yeah. Those guys are real cut up. A lot of preparation, too. All the different, mm. Yeah.

Rob does a lot of preparation. Yeah, a lot of very long mirror exercises. Sat in my kid's treehouse for a while, which I respect. Yeah. I really actually do. Just getting back to nature like that. Jordan Rubin, he had like one line and um yeah again forever yeah weeks of rehearsals yeah past the pretzels that was it uh-huh and he's like pacing which by the way that moment i mean it is one line but it's sort of the

emotional climax of the movie i don't want to give anything away it's the fulcrum but everything is sort of building up to that that's right that's right i'm glad you guys got that yeah yeah for sure and my wife she's she doesn't want me to be eating pretzels because of the salt and and i want to live my life my way and that's really what the film was about how did how did she feel, how did your wife feel about you being married to Busy Phillips for seven years for this movie? Well, she didn't like it because we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

Mm-hmm. You know, so that was hard. That's why they call her Busy. Just Busy Hands. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, she gets busy. Yeah. And I was pronouncing it Buzzy for years.

Oh, you were? Yeah. Oh. Did you go to school? Not traditional school, no. Home school? Not traditional home school, no. No.

Yeah. And so what? Like, were you raised in the woods? Life is my school. Well, I'm a farm orphan, but I guess, like like the streets and street artists and that sort of thing was my schooling. Did you do any hoboing? Hoboing? Yeah.

Railriding? Railriding, yeah. Not traditional railriding, no. No. Yeah, but, you know. You've been on a few trains. I've been known to, yes. You've been a part of a train.

I've held two pieces of a train together. Sure. It was coming apart. The latch had come undone, and one piece of the train was going to go flying off the side of a cliff, and I held both sides together with my arms stretched out in between the train. I don't like to talk about it. I really don't like to talk about it.

I truly hate talking about it. One of the things we did to get press for the movie, it reminds me of the train story, is we set up a couple of hero moments for some of the actors to be a part of. The Tom Cruise, yes? Yeah, so like one of my kid's friends, I had him go out in the middle of the street,

and his bike went down the hill, and then we set it all up. And the car came. And then right at the last minute, I have Paul Scheer run in, grab him, save the kid. And it's all over the papers. Sure. It's great. Yeah.

And then, you know, he says. It totally worked. You know, I'm just a guy. The real hero is Jason Nash because he made this great movie. Yeah, and you know Paul. He's so humble. Yes. He's such a good guy in that having him say that to the press,

it's really not a big deal. Yeah. And it worked. It's sad. Like, you know, I heard about how, you know, he doesn't have much time left. Yeah. I don't know how public that is. uh no i don't know a lot i mean yeah well you can see you can just look you can see it yeah he's got he's got carpal tunnel and it's spreading and the bad kind it's spreading really because there's the good carpal

tunnel that's very that's treatable and then there's the kind of carpal tunnel he has, which is like... You can see it in the film. He's like... Oh, yeah. He's like a wolfman. He's got both his arms up. Yeah, like doing a wolfman pose all the time. And I kept saying to him, I said,

you've got to get that under control because it looks like you're the wolfman. Well, and you had to write in the wolfman stuff i mean you're trying to shoot him with a silver bullet or whatever which i know initially was not part of the film and it didn't make a ton of sense for the story but you know you wanted paul in the film and that's why it took so long to save the kid yeah and i'm actually i'm happy to hear that that sort of was a workaround just to get paul in it because i did get really hear that that sort of was a workaround just to get Paul in it because I did get really scared during that part of the movie,

and I didn't know why you were doing that to me. Well, yeah, it was an experiment. The whole thing was an experiment. We're mad scientists, aren't we, filmmakers? Yes, yes. What films have you guys made? Goof. Goof.

Which ones haven't we made? That's the easier question. I didn't get a chance to IMDb you guys because I made? Goof. Goof. Which ones haven't we made? That's the easier question. I didn't get a chance to IMDB you guys because I made one so far. How many have you guys made? You're going to love it. You're going to love it.

Yeah, the experience of making one, I actually wish I could remember, just having made that one, that first one where it seems like that movie is so special.

Yes. It's like you really did something, like making one movie. Yes. And then once you do all the other ones, you think, like, oh, that was so, you know, I was like a little boy back then. What happened with the web series you guys tried to do? I had heard that you'd shot it all and then just... The internet wouldn't accept it.

Oh, too radical. It was at a place where I think a few years down the line Is that like Bill Gates? He wasn't happy with the way it was portrayed If that's what you're asking We shopped it around to different parts of the internet You ran a food truck? Is that what it was?

That was part of it We were running a food truck early version of the movie chef if you saw chef i saw chef yes yeah so very much it was a lot like that and now you watch it and it's like oh where'd they get that yeah it's like oh where'd he get that idea like i wonder where that sort of came from but and i actually thought yeah that the sort of cooking was almost a metaphor for filmmaking. Can you speak on that, Jason? Speak on that, please. I love to eat.

I just love it. I'm a foodie. So if you put food in front of me, I say yeah. And there's not many foods I don't like. And that's what movies is for you. Yeah, that's what movies is. I'm just talking about food, but I like movies too. What about the recipe of the movie Jason Nash is married?

Yes. Is it like if they say, you know, everyone says like dinner and a movie, but really is it like dinner is a movie? Feast, yeah, a feast. Yes, where, say, you have all these different ingredients for Jason Nash's marriage, and you're putting them together

in a certain combination. I like to think that a movie is like a chicken pot pie. And so for Jason Nash's marriage, you did something very interesting where Jason Nash is kind of the crust and the chicken and the peas and some of the sauce

you know and then maybe pat and oswald's like a carrot yeah yeah yeah yeah let's most of the pie is me yes you know don't right i mean saying patten is a carrot is is generous a small chopped carrot that's in a square yes not one of the main carrots yeah maybe maybe a um a small chopped carrot that's in a square. Yes, not one of the main carrots. Yeah, maybe a piece of carrot that wasn't meant to be in there and fell in. It's accidentally in there. It fell on the ground. The meat, the chicken, the sauce, the crust, the tin that the chicken pot pie is in is me. And I'm not willing to give any of the credit up.

Well, Nick's words, I guess, would be himself then, just looking at it and saying yummy. Just like rubbing his belly. He's definitely not in the pie. He's not in the pie. He's watching it from outside the window, and he's smelling the, you know. Tapping on the glass.

That's what he does where he's floating along on the scent of the chicken pot pie. Yes, he starts sniffing and then his head is sort of, his body levitates up and then his nose sort of is leading him down the trail of scent. And then I go, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Uh-huh. Mine. And you shut the window on his schnoz.

The other thing that's cool about making a movie, and I know you guys have made movies, and I don't know if you've done this, but what's awesome is you just, like, if there's a girl that you want to make out with, the other thing that's cool about making a movie and I know you guys have made movies I don't know if you've done this but like what's awesome is you just like if there's a girl that you want to make out with you put her on the page it's done you guys do that in your vines

well we like to spend a little more time it doesn't take just 6 seconds to just like get to the point of making out you don't come in 6 seconds to just like get to the point of making out with the... Right. The way I like to do it...

You don't come in six seconds is what you're saying, bud. I get that. I need a little time, you know. I get that. I need a little time just to kind of... Sure, 12. This takes a very, very long time to ejaculate for either one of us. Well, when you...

The process is pretty involved and not pleasant. Yes. When you're endowed a certain way. It's lucky. People say, you. When you're endowed a certain way. It's lucky. People say you're lucky to have... Sure, yeah. People describe it as... You're blessed.

They say, oh, you're blessed with a certain... Physical structure. Equipment that you have. But along with that, it's like how when you're in space, time is relative. I've been to space. At certain...

Okay, sure. So you know. Then you'll get this. So things take longer in space because the scale is so much bigger. I never came in space, though. See, well, then you don't know. Then I guess I haven't been to space.

Okay. I haven't been in space. That's what I like to say. You haven't been. Air quotes. Yes. It takes even longer, yeah. It does?

That would be a good title for a movie. What? I Came in Space. I Came in Space? Jason Nash Came in Space. Jason Nash Came in Space. That's a movie. That works.

And have you ever considered, now that this movie is out, licensing your name to other movie titles, which is a mutually beneficial thing. Might be a sweet little side business Jason Nashformers sure like Gene Simmons does with Kiss he's gonna just cast Kiss now that's right

I just cast me but then be standing in the background like kind of with my hand under my chin like on of with my my hand under my chin like some guys on stage with kiss yeah yeah you're just like

Jason Nash's kiss you're just a little bit in the background yeah and I could just walk on stage give a wave everyone goes berserk that might be what kiss has been needing to push them over the edge, you know? And go back to the Grey Goose bar, which is sponsored by Grey Goose. Because Kiss has this very cool indie thing going, but they haven't ever fully hit the

mainstream, and it might be Jason Nash sort of leaning on his chin at the back of the stage. Maybe there's a stool nearby. That could really be the final piece of the puzzle for that group. I saw Grizzly Bear and Kiss together. Oh, were they doing a show together? Yeah, it was awesome. It was awesome.

That's a good ticket. Kiss went on first. I was going to say, who opens and something like that. Yeah. How did you choose? You're making this movie. People are coming, you know, does Paramount come to you and 20th and stuff like that? How do you choose between all your different, your suitors?

Well, none of them wanted to do it. I mean, no. Well, then how is it a movie? Yeah. Well, we just did it. I just did it independently. I just got some money together and shot it. Okay.

So, okay. But then what's the front? You know how you need to show something at the very beginning of the movie? The title card, you mean? Yes. The title card? Yes. That's what it's, yes.

Right. The title card is just my production company. That's it. That's all it says. And is Right. So, but what do you do? The title card is just my production company. That's it. That's all it says. And is that called Paramount or Warner Brothers? They didn't, Paramount had nothing to do with the movie, guys, and Warner Brothers. Like, there can be movies. How do I explain this?

It's like, I understand that you guys are used, you grew up with movies and you're used to seeing the title card. Yes. That says DreamWorks. It's a lion. Or it's a mountain. Or the mountain. Or a woman.

A sexy woman who's like dressed in kind of like a. Statue of Liberty. Yeah, like a flowing robe. It just gets you in kind of a sexual mood to watch your movie. That's when, that's when that company

put out that movie. So if the lion company. That's when, that's when that company put out that movie. So if the Lion Company. That we understand. If the Lion, if the Lion put out the movie. Lion's Game. Yeah, that's right.

Then the Lion would be in front of it. And just like, if the Mountain put out the movie. Paramount. Paramount. If Paramount put it out, but for mine,

and I want you to listen closely. Okay. None of the mountain didn't have anything to do with it. The lion didn't have anything to do with it. The kid fishing for a rainbow, for a moon, didn't have anything to do with it. And this is where you lose me. Because there's a step in between there that I don't, I'm just not following. I'm sorry, Jason.

And we have plenty of time. Yes, we have all day. And it's just you keep using this word movie, but then at the same time. Yes, you keep using the word children. And it's a Saturday, but I do want to get this point across. Give me a second. Let me try and explain it again. It's the word movie, I think, that I'm sort of like.

I think that's what's bumping me too. Right. I think that's the bump for me. Okay, so let's not call like. I think that's what's bumping me too. Right. I think that's the bump for me. Okay. So let's not call it a movie. Great. Let's just say it's a video. Okay.

Here's a perfect example. When you guys made a video on Funny or Die and it only got like 75 views. Yeah. Okay. Was Paramount. Well, for that, it would be Paramount Vantage. Was Paramount Vantage on the front of your... Sure.

It was? Yes. For that, it would be... I don't think it was. Well, they were the production company, and Sony Classics distributed, and Paramount, yes, they put up the... Searchlight was also...

Searchlight was sniffing around. I would bet both my children that if I went on Funny or Die right now... Did they let you on that, Jason? I have my own... What? Is it your own password? I have my own channel. You have your own Funny or Die?

You have your own Funny or Die password? You have your own Funny or Die that just you sort of are messing around in? Funnier Die came to me, and they said, you can have your own channel, and we'll take the ad revenue, and it's your own channel. And I said, great. I wonder if that was just a way to keep you off of the main site. Have you ever considered that? I'm on Funnier Die, too. Is that what you mean? if that was just a way to keep you off of the main site.

Have you ever considered that? I'm on Funny or Die 2. Okay. Is that what you mean? Is that different? Well, I just wonder if they want, because I know they're pretty picky about who is allowed to look at their main site. Oh, you're not even talking about being a content creator.

You're talking about who can see it. No, I'm talking about you being able to actually look at it. Like I'm behind a firewall? Yeah, well, I wonder if you say, like, can I look at the- Well, they reroute you to this other Funny or Die, which sounds like a blast. And I just would, and I, you know, you must be having a lot of fun poking around on that thing. If you come to them and say, like, can I watch your videos? And they say, like, how about this?

Why don't you just have your own site where you can, like, sort of a separate but equal arrangement with Funny or Die. I think that's kind of a nice way of saying, no, you can't see. Here's the people that I see on my Funny or Die, on Funny or Die 2. Tony Danza, Judith Light. It sounds great. Eric McCormick. Okay. Old Ben Vereen.

Uh-huh. The guys that were in Dukes of Hazzard have a lot of stuff on there. Okay. Sean Williams, Scott. Original, yeah. Original dudes, come on. Oh, good. Not Vance and Coy?

No, no, no. Okay. But it is weird that you bring it up because I've never seen Will Ferrell on there. I've never seen Zach Galifianakis on there. And now that you mention it, it's a little weird. That's what I would do. That's what it sounds like, yes. And that is something that we've done when people want to listen to this podcast.

Sure. And we'll go like, well, wouldn't it be more fun to have your own podcast? And we sort of have them listening to themselves or who's the boss reruns. It sounds like what you're doing. You guys watched the movie. And one of the things I feel really guilty about, and even coming in here today, because you guys were so nice to have me,

I feel guilty that you guys aren't, and I'm just going to come clean, that you're not in the movie. I feel bad about that. Is there any tension here that you're not? Well, I appreciate you coming clean about that, because I was under the impression that I am in the movie. Did you shoot anything for that?

Well, when you're watching it, there's a reflection of us that you can sort of see on the screen at all times. I have to say, this is the oddest podcast I've done during that. Because lots of times- I thought I was- I mean, my character, I was calling my character the Watcher. Yeah, because... And he sort of was like, you know, presiding over it

and just faintly, like half his face was coming back out of the screen. Especially when there were scene transitions and the screen got dark, then really clearly you could see the Watcher

reflected back. So you did see yourself in the movie and you consider being in the movie. Mm-hmm. Okay, well then I guess I don't feel so bad. Mm-hmm. Because you did put us in

and you were wrong about what you said before. Do you guys do movies in the mirror? What's that? You wake up in the morning and you're just like, ah, you're brushing your teeth. And you just do a whole... Like a good 45-minute movie.

You call in sick. Right, well that'd be a short... Or call in late. That's a pretty short movie, Jason, the 45-minute movie. Yeah, but I mean, you don't have time for an hour and a half every morning some on saturdays and sundays i'll do a movie in the mirror you know and i play all the parts do you want to do one right now oh yeah i'd love to uh hey you gotta listen to me We got two days To get this truckload

Of groceries across country And if it don't happen Frank's gonna be mad Lights a cigarette So which one of this crew Is gonna step forward And make this happen Oh oh oh me crew is going to step forward and make this happen.

Oh, oh, oh, me! I am the part of the crew. I'm the small guy. I'm Asian, four feet tall. I can be very small and fit in boxes, or maybe go through the air shaft. And I'm the nerd. I'm the guy that's going to

do all the tech work so we can crack the security code. And I'm the tough guy. I'm the brawn. If anybody comes and tries to get these vegetables, pow pow! And I'm the black guy. I'm the guy that's smooth. Smooth talking. And if we need to talk to a lady, I can talk to her. and I'm the old guy I've been around the block but I can show you guys a couple of things about stealing more vegetables and diamonds we're not stealing diamonds Albert we're We're moving produce. Get up.

Get on up. Get up. Get on up. Tasty. Get on up. So, Jason, I loved your movie in the mirror. I have a couple quick notes. Could the crew have more guys?

it's a you didn't let me finish I'm so sorry I assumed that when the music started that all the crew's guys had been it feels like some races are actually a little underrepresented I got an Asian and a black in there

we just want to be able to sell it like you know movies are global now it's a big international market it we just want to be able to sell it like you know a lot of movies are global now yeah it's a big international market and just it would just help to have more

he's gotta get the crew together he's gotta get the crew back together okay you know Vinny so that's coming down the pike Vinny's Italian

and he's gotta get the crew back together for one more heist and Sherry Shepard is his love interest and she's that's a big pull she's sassy as shit yeah you know heist and Sherri Shepherd is his love interest.

That's a big pull. She's sassy as shit. Yeah. You know. She walks in and she's like, Hey y'all, if y'all gonna be trying to move produce, y'all better use your heads. Bunch of fucking morons in here.

Look at this one. Asian. Can't even see a bag of rice. Look at this one. Black brother. Always dating white people. And look at see a bag of rice. Look at this one, black brother, always dating white people. And look at this old piece of ass. His dick's so shrinkly, he ain't ever going to get nowhere in life.

And she just, you know, busts up on, she busts up on all the guys. And then what does she say? And then she, you know, she takes Vinny and she's like, you are the most gorgeous man I've seen in my entire life. And then what do they do? And they start kissing. And he's like, yeah, I know. I know.

And you're gorgeous too. And then all of a sudden the nerd breaks into the casino. This is a Jewish guy? The nerd? Yeah. Super Jew. And right as they're about to kiss it goes, and they go, the old guy goes,

Wong is caught inside. He's caught inside the casino. Inside where all the gold bars are. And then he's like, hey. He's like, hey, black girl. That's his pet name for her. She's okay with it. He's like, this kiss is going to have to wait.

The way your movie, just like the effect of gradually circling Ocean's Eleven. What's the movie? What's the movie? What's the movie? You haven't seen this movie, Oceans 11? Never. Oh, that's amazing. I've heard of it, but I've never seen it. What you're talking about is sort of almost a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern,

like Oceans 11, like adjacent story. It's like in orbit around Oceans 11, just gradually getting closer and closer to becoming the movie Oceans 11, which you have not seen. Never saw it. Oh, wow. But a lot of movies are similar. That is true.

A lot of movies are similar. Do you want to speak on that? They made two movies about from the blind side. There's two separate movies. There's one with Sandra Bullock. And the Al Pacino one where he's smelling women. You're a good football player, but you've got to come live with me. I think that was called Radio.

Yeah, because he can't see. That's a good film. He can only hear radios. Ed Harris. Yes, the train driver from Snowpiercer. I like when Ed Harris stands up. That's a big spoiler. I like when Ed Harris stands up in front of the whole town,

and he's like, radio will drive the bus. He will drive the bus full of schoolchildren. Yeah. I don't know. It's really powerful. I don't know. It's really powerful. I don't know. It's an inspirational story about a disabled man who all he wants to do is be able to drive school children around

and how you should be allowed to do whatever you want no matter what. I hate the way we limit people and go like, oh, you can't do this because it's not safe to have you do it the twist at the end where they thought he wanted to be a school bus driver but he was actually saying scuba diver but like the way he talks is like so weird so he's like i want to be a and it was a movie about a weird guy in many ways because a lot of what he's doing is pretty weird, and I liked that. It's different. Yes. He's very different than everybody else.

Yeah. I love movies about weird guys because they've done a few. Yeah. And it's just always so interesting for me to look at a truly weird guy. When you play weird, too, you get the Academy comes out for weird. Yes. They nominated a lot of weirdos, a lot of weirdos a lot of weirdies uh get uh get that nod because to truly capture the physicality and mind of a weird guy

go full weird that's what they call it yeah going full weird you get more pussy that way as well and that's how you just sort of use you know someone says something at the beginning of a show you know you've done podcasts. At the beginning of a show, somebody says, give it some time, and then you just wait. And around the time that you feel like maybe you're running out of steam, you just say the thing from the beginning. You mention the thing from the beginning, and then people say, I remember that. And there's no better feeling than listening to something and remembering something from the beginning. There's nothing funnier than feeling smart

because you remember something that someone said before and I always try to create that for my audience and so it is about time

to wrap it up you know just because we have pulled that move out and that's sort of the last rabbit in the hat so to speak

this is great this has been really great guys it's been so great to have you Jason thank you so much for joining us I can't wait to watch my great to have you Jason thank you so much for joining us I can't wait to watch my movie

and see you guys yes you're gonna I like it in sort of a three men and a baby kind of way when everybody

saw that ghost yeah the kid with the shotgun hiding next to the window yeah holy fucking shit I guess that's how you guys appeared

holy fucking shit talk about a bone chilling movie experience. My stomach dropped. I mean, the bottom dropped out, you know? Yeah. Straight through the floor. Yeah.

Bone-chilling is a good way to put it. Yeah. Please rate us on iTunes and talk to us on our forums. Like us on Facebook and rate us on iTunes. On Facebook. I think Mean detective bought the pro version mean detective bought the pro version and the podcast as a as a gift uh uh you get a role in a movie it's jason nash's mirror movie you get a role in jason nash's mirror movie so just

go ahead and give us a quick preview jason of Mean Detective. What he's going to be doing in this next movie. Oh, the, when the guy playing Mean Detective in my movie? This guy's name is Mean Detective. Oh, this is a listener? Who bought the pro version. Yeah. Oh, this is a listener. He bought the pro version.

And as a prize, he's going to be in the movie. Oh, okay. Well, he's probably, he's going to play a Spanish dude. That's one, that's really good. And that's something we've been missing from this's going to play a Spanish dude. That's one. That's really good. And that's something we've been missing from this movie. It's a big market. Yes. And he races cars. So he's like.

Yes, the NASCAR audience. The group is in trouble. Sherry Shepard's talked them down. And then all of a sudden the garage door from the garage where they're playing opens up. And it goes. And then in of a sudden, the garage door from the garage where they're playing opens up. And it goes. And then in walks Javi. And Javi's like, what kind of cars are we talking about? Like that.

And everybody's like, oh, we forgot about Javi. And he's like, Lamborghini? Porsche? Ferrari? And I hope your friend can do Spanish accent. He's not our friend. Porsche Ferrari and I hope your friend can do Spanish accent and

he's not our friend bye this has been an Earwolf Media Production Executive Producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Aukerman for more information visit Earwolf.com

Earwolf.com.