Hollywood Handbook - Jay Pharoah, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

The Boys enlist JAY PHAROAH to help influence a very important legal case of theirs. Check out Jay's album, The Odyssey, streaming now!   Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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and we're submitting our most sciencey episodes for your peer review with our new stuff you should know doing science playlist. Out now. You want to know about Occam's Razor? Simplest explanation is usually the right one? We got you covered. Wondered what chaos theory is

ever since the first time you saw Jurassic Park. Well, come on down. So distill a nice pot of tea, everybody. Turn down the gas on your Bunsen burner and slip into your most comfortable lab coat and listen to the stuff you should know doing science playlist on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts well kasey why are we messing around are we going to record this thing i thought we were

already doing i thought we were already going i know i know but we're we got to we always got to wait for the tech team all right i'm turning this away so you all don't get sued mm-hmm i can't i don't have the money to pay off lecroy let's just let's just be honest So we can make some money. You'll be all right, man. You be all right. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, it's fine.

Is it playing and we're not hearing it, Casey? It looks like we're having some technical difficulties. Walk us through with Casey. Maybe we can help. Or Jay, you know, Jay's been around a lot of productions. First play, it wasn't playing. Joel is pulling the file back up. He's opening it with quick time.

Well, Jay's here. Jay is a musician. I mean, he has this incredible new album, The Odyssey, And I wonder if he could help you. Does this ever happen to you in the studio where the engineer presses play and nothing plays? You know, 75% of the time, you know, and we get through it. Yeah, I do most of the coaching, you know, because, you know. Oh, my God.

I studied computers, too, in high school. So, you know. What a great way to give back. I know. Helping the community, one of virus taken down at the time. You remember lime wire? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just about to bring that up, but go ahead.

And Frostwire, too. Frostwires, of course, yeah. Bairshare and all that. Yeah, man, when your hard draw. Oh, here, my God. That's the song. And I feel like you talking us through it. Yeah.

Helped. Yeah. The album is The Odyssey. Yeah. It's Jay Farrow. It just came out. People think this is a movie. I've heard people excited about the Odyssey.

Right. And they seem to have a misconception of what it is. Clear that up. Well, here's the thing, man. Chris Finolan actually had come to me 2002. Knew it. And he wanted me to play Odysseus. Yeah, obviously.

You know, but, you know, we couldn't. It wasn't time to do like a, you know, like a black version. It was also. It was 22. We weren't there yet. At that time. It was a little early. So what I decided to do was I decided in 2024 to take that name and apply it to this musical project, this journey that I created with one of my close friends and one of the best producers in the world.

Is that two different people? These are two different. Well, yeah, yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah. So the close friend is one person and the best producer, one of the best producers in the world is a second person. And they're not a close friend. Right.

Every morning they do the fusion dance and they just become one person. Oh, so they begin every day as two different people. And then they do the fusion dance set to maybe something produced by one of the best producers in the world who is not your close friend. And it was important to you to have someone be both your close friend. couldn't just have one of the best producers in the world. They have to be your close friend as well. It's frustrating if you don't have that friendship with them. But if you have someone who's just a friend and they're not one of the best producers in the world, we're not going to get too far.

Exactly. So you got it. So they have to fuse. And physically what did that? What does that look like? Did it take on just one of their? I can show you how it looked. Okay.

Okay. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So it was like this. Fusion. Ha! Oh, so you were talking about the dance.

Yeah, he said the fusion dance, yeah. I was asking after they have fused, what does that look like? Does they have multiple two nose? Oh, no. It's, yeah. It just, it just become Gemini. Gemini. Yeah, bipolar.

Gemini. Their sign becomes Gemini. Because they're two different. They're two different people in the same body. Yeah. Okay. Because that's what a Gemini is. That's what a Gemini is.

Okay. Yep. So yeah. We want to help. You want to help? We want to help. And we can. Okay.

Like, we can get this album going fucking crazy. Going crazy. We can have it insane. Noodles. We have that power. Raman noodles. It's going to go ramen noodles. It's going to go as crazy as that or maybe even crazier than that.

Okay? It's going to be in more college dorm rooms than ramen noodles. Spicy ramen noodles I mean I think there's a chance It won't go that crazy I don't know Romano noodles in terms of

Raman noodles and spicy ramen noodles Right okay so we need that hot sauce We want that So I believe y'all Yeah they can buy the hot sauce on their own Yeah you put sarat You can grind up some sarat You can grind that up

Yeah you don't grind it Yeah You don't got to get it Yeah you don't got to get it processed Yeah that's wasting If we say that The trigger phrase Yeah to our listeners

All right And then we issue a command, a command such as buy J. Farrow's album, The Odyssey, every day for the rest of your life. Oh, wow. Then we'll have way more downloads than Will Smith had on his last project. And that's the bar. I know, yes, I know what you're going for. He has to do an impression of you from now on. I mean, he does.

I mean, he will at one point. As a matter of fact, Will Smith's big comeback is actually doing the Jay Farrell biopic. Come on. Wow. That's his comeback. Oh, I know, man. I was like, really? Like, is this the time?

Is this real life? Yeah, I mean, this guy's been, let's face it, he took a hit. Yeah. And he gave a hit as well. Well, you have to, I guess this is what you have to do. It's kind of like a, you know, humiliation ritual for it. Well, you scan the field and you go, all right, what's unimpeachable? And what's something I can do that's completely safe?

First try was the new rap song. where he says that he likes pretty girls. Yeah, I like pretty girls. Yeah, I like pretty girl. That's what he said for three minutes and three minutes. We all heard it. We all know. I mean, like, I haven't heard that many songs.

Not that many. But I did hear that one. You did hear that one song. It ain't a lot of women not pretty to me. I mean, she pretty to me. Yeah. So that, and that's interesting, right? Yeah.

Are you like pretty girls? Well, every girl is pretty to be. Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff. Yes. I like pretty girls and they're all pretty. Yeah, man. Anne Colta was just standing up doing that one. She was just raising her hands.

She was like, finally somebody sees. Had to be a big relief for her because she's been wondering, Pretty girls. Will Smith isn't talking about me, is he? Oh, Anne Colt, me? Me and? Well, maybe. Yes, you, Anne.

You know what? She sounds to me like a female Nicholas Cage. That's what she sounds like. It's kind of teeter and all that, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to think back to the roast, that one roast that she did, because that's one of the last times. Did you do that one? Me?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're racist, you think I'm flavor-flavored. Was that flavor-flav? I don't think so. What's the flavor-flip? I mean, as far as I prefer it not be. No, I...

Based on what you just... said, maybe I don't really remember, but I would really prefer that I didn't just mistake you for flavor flavor. I don't think I did. Was it the, wait, wait, I'm just trying to, was it the Cat Williams roast maybe, or was it Cat Williams roasted? Or what was it? I don't know, I don't, Ann Colter roasted somebody. I want to say it was Bieber. She is roasting somebody. We have three computers. So maybe I mistook you for Just a Bieber. That would be really hard to pin down. That's a problem. That's how I praise it. Say, I look like a pretty, a lesbian. That's crazy. And it was a nice, pretty nice body on it.

As well. Right. That's bodyotti. That's great. Right. And, yeah, damn, man, bleached and had to bleach myself because of the Vidalago. Crazy. I said we can help.

Yeah. No, you will. He didn't tell you will. Well, well. Well, well, we, we, maybe we will. We'd like to. We'd like to. We'd like to have a good reason to.

We have needs of our own. We have stuff going on and our. It's true. It's vulnerable to admit, but we do have, you know, we've got a whole world going on before and after you enter the studio that comes with its own sort of sticky issues. It'll follow you in here sometimes. We try and keep this place. Follow you in here. Keep the world out, but it does creep its way in sometimes.

Like a silent fart. Just like a silent fart. It'll follow us in here. It sneaks on in And before you know it, it's taken over So mine I'm kind of pushing out away They got hooks Yours are following you around

And they have hooks Yeah, they got hooks They just You know They'll Mufasa it You know It's like when Scott When he was about to day

Yeah Mufasa did do that Yeah he did use his claws To try and hang on to That's how the funk is though The funk is like Mufsa Brother Help me You know

Help me Yeah And so I can't believe you're killing me He never said that but he never said that. Well, yeah. That would have been more persuasive. That's what I would have said. He didn't really make his case while he was hanging there. He didn't even say please don't. Yeah. Like I'm always confused by that and I go, please don't. He's like Kim, like what's the

thing? What's the issue here? Can we talk about it? Because I didn't invite you to Simba's holding up ceremony. It's not intended to be a pun. It's too much pride. If somebody has, if somebody is is going to kill me and I'm witnessing it. I'm going to have a few words. Oh, yeah. Excuse me? I'm going to say, I disagree with all of this. Are you,

I, well, okay, no, I don't want to go. I don't want to go like that. It's the raw podcast for that. I'm not, I'm not an herb. We're not in a urban podcast. Well, we can figure out which the, what the right one is.

I don't want to say that, I don't want to say what I, the punchline I would have. And it ain't a reason for it. I never want you to feel restricted in any way while you're here. I can leave the room if you want to do a punchline. Is it because of Adam? We can have Adam leave. It's just, you know what?

And it got nothing to do with that. It's just me. I was, you know, you noticed, too, I haven't cursed this. I've been sitting here. I haven't cursed at all. I haven't done it. I'm doing the Trump hands. For a while, you talked about dry ejaculip prior to recording, but it was, but it was not, yes, it was dry.

And it was very colorful. And it was, yeah. And it was super creative. But you weren't using curse words. So, yeah. So what I don't want, I mean, if I was Mofasa, I just got throw out of the clip, nigger, are you crazy? Like, that's what, that's what I would say. Right, yeah.

That's what I would say. See why I didn't want to do it? No, that's totally fine with that. That's what you would say. Think about that. He's going to be asking himself. Am I crazy? That was a pretty crazy thing to do.

Wow. Wow. Yeah, I just killed my brother. That's pretty, that's pretty, oh. I'm king, though. That's not really. Wow. Had to go through blood, man.

It's insane. Yeah, kind of like West Virginia. Bap, bap, bamb, go through blood, come through blood. Yeah, there we go. You know, so I'm very quick. We were warned. Hey, man.

You know, wow. Just getting the improv about, yeah, let's talk about it. We didn't talk about the album for the last 20 minutes. Haven't we? It hasn't even been 20. It's been 14. We love to talk about the album. We're waiting for Casey to find the song.

Yeah. It's about 11 minutes in. 11 minutes in. But we always like to say, it feels like 40. It feels. If you're doing it right. It feels like 40. Absolutely 40.

I don't know why I did that. I just had to. No, let's think of the reason why he would be saying that. He saw the movie, This is 40. I'm right there with you. Had to see it. I said it first. It was great.

Paul Rudd, one of the greatest actors ever created. One of the greatest, I love him. I love him when he plays the Ant Man. The Ant Man is absolutely phenomenal. He's an ant and a man and he grows. Leslie Man. A lot of brainpower. Maybe if you watch Leslie Man pee or poop in front of you,

like he does in the movie? Yeah, yeah. What would you do? It would be absolutely disgusting and absolutely clippable. Be Pride Month Toronto. Pride is an opportunity for you to create your own space, to celebrate your existence. Iheart Radio is proud to be an official sponsor of Pride Toronto Festival and we won't stop. Celebrate Pride.

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Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges. I've gone through breast cancer and it helped my mother through breast cancer. and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys, it's Sean from Hollywood Handbook.

You heard it, now see it. Hollywood Handbook is now available with video episodes free in the IHard app. Watch your favorite podcasts, full episodes from start to finish, all in the free IHard app. You can also watch lots of your other favorite podcasts like, Hey Jonas, Las Culturistas, Post, high and more. Hear the voices you know. Now see the moments you've missed. Open the IHeart Radio app, search video podcasts, or search Hollywood Handbook, and tap. Watch. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is. Getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is. Getting a new one put up in its place. As long as there's a

politics of race in America, there's going to be a politics of remembering the civil war. To get to school, I had to go down Robert Lee Boulevard. Get to the grocery store, I had to go down Jefferson Davis Parkway. If you're an historian and you leave out half of what the history is, you're not doing your job. I'm Akila Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 goes deep on both of those things. The fights, the politics, the people who won, and my personal campaign to add something to the Kentucky State House that's actually worth the wall space. We are more than our bodies. We contain essence.

We contain spirit. How do you represent that? They are just fueling a fire that is really catching. You'll see what I mean. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can we walk you through a situation that we're dealing with? We share a bank. Oh, sorry.

It's FedEx Kinko's bank. Oh, you mean like separate accounts. I thought you made like the same like it was a joint account. We do have a joint account. There's a lot of benefits to it. They offer. So what you do is you get married. It's not like, it doesn't have to be like you're kissing or whatever.

It's like it's literally like it's for tax purposes and for joint bank account purposes. The Chuck and Larry. That's what it is. It's very, very Chuck and Larry. Another judge produced that. I believe he had a hand in that project. It was not his wicked pen necessarily, but are you crazy if you don't think that he gave some input. Yeah, he definitely, definitely had a...

You can feel, you can feel his fingerprints all over it. And we inherit each other's share of the podcast. Okay, obviously. If we die. Okay. And so we... And I hope we go together, but there's no way to guarantee it. I mean, yeah, there's a couple ways of guarantee it.

Oh, certainly there's ways to guarantee it, yeah. I feel like. But we're not there yet. You need some suggestions. of how we could ensure that we die simultaneously yeah there's many

you ever see phases of death there's thousands of ways where they that's on my list two podcast hosts at the same time at the same time it was a whole movie yeah

yeah unfortunately my concern about that is then the podcast would go to Adam who we don't know very well yes this is like his like maybe third or fourth

episode that he's done with us I don't think he's ready to tell take over the franchise just yet? I'm a big fan of Adam. I don't necessarily trust him with the, you know, legacy and the material. And I also

don't necessarily want to endow him with some of the issues that we're going to bring up. I mean, well, how many issues doesn't he have? Because the man already looks like Putin. So, you know, only thing I do is, he's definitely Russian. I can tell he's Russian. So, yeah, that's Putin.

That is Vladimir. In disguise. Your son. Yeah. Just, just, just wrestling bears and all types of stuff. There's a body double Putin over in, you know, Europe. He's the real one. He's the real one. He's the real one.

He got his hair back, all types of stuff. You know what I mean? He went to Turkey on the way here. Yeah, I think that's one. Got an Akira shirt. Yeah. I think that's what a carer shirt is crazy. I think, I think that's so, that's so insane to go to Turkey to get your hair,

They're taking care of. When you leave, it's a whole plane full of these guys, and they look like explosions. You know, like a push pops? Remember the push pops? If you squeeze one too hard, they go like, that's how the top of the head look. And they got a dangerous for that all to be on one plane.

And to be that high, like, son, no, you're going to lose your follicles, son. Yeah. Yeah. You don't immediately want a head altitude with that style of head, yeah. You don't want to do that. Atomic, like, he got the cabin pressure. He got the nuclear.

The nuclear. Listen, my old teachers in Virginia would say nuclear. I don't know why they said that. It just sounds funny. Nuclear. A nuke. I said, you mean nuclear, motherfucker? Anyway, nuclear and an atomic explosion.

All these explosions. But then what's the option for them? Because a boat is also not going to work with the new head that they have. Whole plane looked like World War II. Go ahead. And now because of all the explosions. In this, in the, yeah, the Japanese. Yeah.

Yeah. You got it. Yes. All right. Go ahead. Sorry. We share a bank. Yep.

We told the bank. Because we learned of the arrangement where you inherit your partners. Right. Wealth when they die that we were, both of us, married to Lauren Michaels. That's why. So that we would get his things. Mm-hmm. When he passed away, which again, we hope it doesn't happen.

Or then it all happens at the same time. Hey, there's... The fish tank, the popcorn. The popcorn. If there's any will to get thrown on, that's the... You saw it? We were hoping. You saw the rings?

He comes around with those, I mean, just the jewels alone. Yeah, the man... You can get our hands on those jewels. The gold tooth. Yeah, all of that. You know what I mean? The gold tooth. The gold tooth he wears as a ring.

Yeah. The Chanel, the Chanel belt. The Chanel tooth Yeah He's got a Chanel tooth And that's wild He's got Louis Vuittal one back in It's like yo

You can't even see it You can't even see it And that's how you know wealth Wealth is when you have expensive things on On your self You can't even see You can hear it when he chees the popcorn

Just a few designer teeth In the back of the mouth You know what I mean It's right A couple A coach tooth Yeah Just a coach

A coach tooth is wild A Chanel tooth for coach tube Louis Vuitton tooth but just all molars you can't see him and he didn't have any

taken out those are just added in with his original set right which works perfectly a few more inches of jaw added on as well yeah

in his original set were all he had 32 bow yard go yard teeth in his mouth I think they were actually bow yards it was boy yards

which is like one level above go yard go yard yeah it was bow yard yeah it's bow Jackson's his designer

brand, bow yard. Yeah, the bow yard. Because he would, he would bow yard so often when he was playing baseball. Oh, my God, yeah, he's always bowing yard. So to get on his wheel, I'm very curious about this. So what did you have to do? We walked over to the other side of the FedEx Kinkos and made a fake marriage certificate. We went to the one counter and then we got the marriage certificate and we just sort of

slapped on the other name to say, you know, like it's like, it's kind of, we're all cool with each other. We're insatiable. And they kept asking us if we were doing. They could kind of tell that's what we were doing. Right. And they're like, you're not making a fake copy,

are you? And we'd say, this is a completely separate event. And that's actually illegal for you to ask me that. Right. Right. You know, which I don't know if it was.

And now y'all are all in a, I think actually what we did was illegal. So look back. They're being fucking freaks about it. They're being so rude. They're being so fucking stupid about it at the bank. You're in a poly relationship, but Lord Michael.

And you, you see rock. Yes. On paper, we're in a poly relationship with Lord Michaels. Um, ethical non-monogamy. And they make you lay out like everything you do to each other and like how bad you want it. Like you said like that we're in, you can't keep our hands off each other. Yeah. How are y'all?

How hot are y'all for Lauren Michaels? Each of us have our different piece of him that we kind of get to play with. On paper, we can never fully be satisfied. We are left cheek, right cheek. That's what we're talking about it. It's bisected the other direction, so it's top and bottom. Yeah. Wow.

Like that Tales from the Crip episode with Joe Pesci got cut in half to twins. This was like back in 1991. How do I remember this? Horizontally on the middle of his butt? Yes, in the middle of his butt, horizontally. Wow. Yeah. You just told you.

That guy's crazy. Yeah. He shouldn't have done that. You all just magic show Lauren Michaels. That's crazy. He shouldn't have done that to Joe Peshing. He shouldn't have. Some of the, obviously, there was a point when canceled culture got a little out of control.

I think with the cryptkeeper, we got it right. Yeah. They want us to go to a court. Which we don't want to do. We have been hiring private detectives to investigate the leadership of the bank and their families and also the judge. Right. And here's what we learned. The judge is a huge fan.

of the original kings of comedy. Really? Yes. She is an older white woman. Her name is Judge McGillicuddy, and she goes crazy for the four original kings of comedy. She's watching it all the time. Yes.

So before you smashed her, she asked you to do an impersonation. So I just want to go back a little bit. We have not smashed her yet. Oh, yet. On paper, we can't get it. enough of Lord Michael. Tolavia.

You know. So Judge McGillicuddy is actually investigating, you know, the validity of that claim. Right. So for us to smash her, we would actually be detrimental, as Hay said, to the case. Well, at this stage. At this stage. But I'm not going to do a good job. Yeah, but back to y'all's problem.

If we could get, if we could get. As a character reference, two to four of the. the original Kings of Comedy. Yeah. Talking about how... We, Sean and Hayes, are actually dicking down the Lord Michaels.

Mm-hmm. Sorry. Oh, it's cool. Dicking down Warren Michaels in a real legal way. Like, are actually married to him and in love. As an, yeah, as an example.

If Cedric the entertainer were to vouch for the fact that I had personally hit Lord Michael's back walls in your presence. He'd be like, hey, hey, dog. That between you and God, dog. That's what he would say for that way he was saying. Well, ideally he saw it and is saying that like we are, we're upstanding guys. Yeah.

Our money situation is like we keep it. everything is above board right um and we're two crazy horn dogs who always follow the laws yeah uh and then there's a separate law in our house which is that lord never goes to bed on fucked

and so so we are honoring you know both the the government set of laws and also the law of the home and there is a throw pillow that we've been lord over well first what I like to say to you two gentlemen y'all don't hit the jackpot literally

if I hit Lord Michael's boy I'll tell you I have even more shows on television more than I got now but I'm gonna tell you something what you need to do make sure that you play Jungle Fever because you know he liked that song

he liked to imagine himself as a black man sometimes so you go ahead and just had that playing in the background and then y'all gonna have a real good relationship shit. You know what I'm saying? Here. Here. This is a great start. This is such a good start. First of all, that's very valuable information for us.

If we do ultimately, like, convert this into a real thing, which is kind of what we're hoping. You'd be better. You'd be doing better than Steve Harvey as he told you. Right. Yeah. If we could get it directly to the judge. Okay. So what we need is for the judge, McGillicuddy. McGillicuddy. To believe this. Yes. Hey, I don't make the names.

I just use them. And Bernie's her favorite. I would just say. She does not know. She has not heard. And we're not going to be a one to break it to her. No one in her life will tell her.

Stern Judge. Nobody in the life will tell her that you two are clapping Lord Michaels. No, no, no, no. Thank you for asking that question because we need to get this straight. Right. We need to push the lie. No one will tell her. And now I'm worried that J.

Yeah, and now I feel like I'm in a Judge McGillicuddy situation. You know what? I'm up to speed now. I got it. Can you tell Jay that Bernie Mac is dead? What? Yeah, he's dead. But he is in heaven. When?

When did he die? Adam? I just looked it up. And so what did you find when you did that? So it seems like it maybe happened just now. Did you find a date? He was asking a time. No, no one knows. Nobody knows.

Okay. You looked it up at it, said, nobody knows. Nobody knows. One of the most famous comedians, that is crazy. All right. Okay, so you need the message to get to him. The message to get to her. And so we're saying she does not know, because no one in her life will tell her that we lost.

Bernie Mac. Well, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's me, this is my tip of deal, Hughley. Okay, let me just go to Bernie Mac. You confused. Now that was a little help. I'm working on it. Okay, okay.

Go ahead. All right. So, all right, this is what you want. I know. This is what you want. Let me tell you, Mothersugger song. Let me just say something to you.

Now, you got two white boys that are that made a lie that's crazy, you know, real, lie that's crazy, you know? Lider than normal would make no sense. First of all, how do they two, some of them are going to get to where Lord Michael's is? Now, they're going to talk about them a little bit, you know what I'm saying?

But what they forgot to talk about is the fact that they all got a whole bunch of You need to talk about that. Here the whole bunch of the city beans. Hey, hey, hey, hey, soy, me, you know what I'm saying? That's exactly what it is. So these two, some of my bitches, these two, some of my bitches, now come up with a goddamn lie, you know what I'm saying?

Someone they got with them, and they bust on, they're busting them off. You know, they're busting them off, it's out of them. So they haven't, they haven't one of them Greek relationships, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Back in the, back of the island of Tamopoli, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Back on the 300 type of situation, you know, they're not. They're having the boys in the barracks, you know what I'm saying?

So what you need to do? All you need to do, oh, you need to do, oh, you need to do. All you need to do is you need to take the information and you just need to validate. They're going to believe your ass. You know why? Because you were more fucking judge. Thank you. Okay.

This is, the impression is so good. The description of the dynamic is really good. Well, I didn't catch every single word. It did sound like, which I think we probably can use, that we are titty-banging, Lorne Michaels? No, no, I didn't say that. I said, busing them all. I thought that was a different part. But at one point, I think you described it as a lie that we had come up with.

That I did hear as well. That was the part I caught that was a little bit of a red flag for me just in terms of us trying to convince the judge that it's real. He did say, just go with it anyway. He was telling the judge to tell other people it's real. Yes. Like the bank. Because here's the thing, no. Bernie is so real.

He's not going to lie. Oh, okay. He's so real. Because it's Bernie. That's right. And what he's going to do is he's going to tell the truth, but he's still going to get the, he's still going to get the mission accomplished.

And that's what he did. So the judge, so all of y'all know, you know. I mean, Bernie telling her, hey, you got to tell the bank that this is real. Yes. I think is maybe more powerful than Bernie saying. And her hearing that from Bernie, I think,

I think that will probably get us there. I did hear something about titty begging, but... There was something about... I did I hear Titty. Did I hear sword me? No, I didn't say that, but I didn't say that. No, I said you had a 300 situation. I remember that.

Yes. Yeah, like a Greek situation. I remember all that. Yeah, that was a different part. Yeah, okay. I was just, and then whatever he, whatever he was rattling off after, after that, you know, he was, you know, most hook be rattling off a whole bunch of things.

He did. He did rattle off. He did rattle off. He'll tell you something. Let me tell you some. Let me tell you something. Forget what the hell I just said. This whole thing is totally real.

Okay? This whole thing is totally real. So what I'm going to need you to do is help everybody out because, you know what I'm saying? You know, white people, you know, y'all get very weird. You know what's all that to get weird. They do get weird. Hey, I get weird.

Yeah. They get together. You know, grab each other by the nuts, you know. Grab each other about a nut. I'm going to say, what do you got down there at all? They do that. They do that stuff. Anyway.

It's called that. Anyway, only thing you need to do is make sure you get everything approved. I'm going to tell you. You get everything approved. You're going to be coming to my show. And I'm going to do coming in front of you. You're going to like everything you think. I'm going to tell you why.

Because I'm a likable person. You know? The promising tickets to that she can go to a show and see you, I think, That's what I'm talking about. So if you take this and you make sure that everybody know that it's not a lie 100% I'm going to make sure you get season tickets.

Season tickets. Season tickets. To Bernie Mac. To Bernie Mac. Season tickets. Season tickets to Bernie Mac. Imagine court side seats to watch Bernie Mac do his thing.

Yeah. Thank you. That is exactly what we need. I am ready to deliver the cue phrase the trigger phrase now we are you held up

your end of the bargain let us do our job so that is the phrase that activates our army hyya frog hiya frog yeah just yeah pronounce it differently

okay cool yeah so that is the phrase two different two different meaning it's a double entendre actually in a way higher it means

it means if you're frog, that means two completely different things. Yeah. When she's coming at you saying, hiya, or she's saying, Haya, frog. Hiya, frog. Those are two great impressions. I don't, you know, I'm, I don't do, you know, impressions.

I just, I just do the key phrase that activates our army of listeners to buy. Now buy. Not stream. Don't purchase Jay Farrow's album The Odyssey every day for the rest of your life

for the rest of your life. Now it is time for me to come clean about something the life expectancy of the listeners at this podcast is extremely low. Something about where we're listened to or who this appeals to has a real overlap

with poor decisions and poor general health. And unfortunately, buying an album every single day is going to accelerate the timeline. It will endanger them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see that. This seems like a horror film. And how, yeah, I can just see somebody's in the car, listening to y'all. Yeah, and then, you know, by the end of the, by the end of the,

the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like Mars attacks with the eardrum. Yeah. Yes, that's right. That's one way it happens. Sometimes they'll be listening and they'll be like,

that bridge abutments start to look pretty appealing. Yeah. I bet I can beat it. They're racing the bridge abutment by driving right at it. And then it becomes, you know, another person is maybe on the road. Yeah. Also listening to us. And they're all sort of like racing to get.

to the bridge above the first. It do appear to be concentrated, yeah, in this one. Because they want to live. Halfway house. Yeah. They want to live. That's why they all doing that. Yeah, that's how you all helping people.

You are. I do think so. I do think so. I think it's we're finding a special group of people who don't appear to like anything else. And this is scratching an itch that no one else has reached. Oh, man. Scratching an itch, no one else has reached. That's, that's crazy.

That's crazy right there. What we did for Lauren as well. Yeah. Sounds. Yeah, it seems like it. I mean, I wouldn't know. Yeah, we wouldn't either. But we were scratching a niche.

No one could reach, yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. You know what? I know somebody who listens to you all show that it's still alive. Oh, that is the nicest thing. You know, we really are not here for the glazing and the compliments, but to have you sit and whether it's true or not,

say you know someone who listens to the show who's still alive. That is so kind. And if we could put that in like our episode description or something, like... I mean, this is the clip, just the idea that someone alive listens to the show. That is going to be so encouraging for so many family members of our former listeners.

The class action suit. Again, I mean, you're just helping us with judges left and right. Yes. Because for you to say that, and you don't have to give us a name or anything. I mean, I've never met the dude, but I do know who he is. Yes. Oh, okay. Yep.

Yeah. It's kind of famous. Oh, yeah. Interesting. Well, now I'm curious. His name is Fleece Johnson. Fleece Johnson. Yeah, he's the booty warrior.

Yep. As a matter of fact, a mighty warrior indeed. Yeah. I assumed it was a different fleece Johnson. you're telling me that Fleece Johnson, the booty warrior, listens to this podcast and is alive. Yeah, and this is going to be the horniest podcast for him because you just talked about how you all were pretending to clap Lord Michael's cheeks.

He's going to love it. Yes. You all are on his hit list now, both of you. Fleece Johnson. Fleece Johnson, the damn booty warrior. I mean, as I live and breathe, unbelievable reveal. You slow played it.

And do you know what that means? Do you know what that means, Jay? It means that Fleece Johnson, the Booty Warrior, will now be buying your album. Every single day. Word. For the rest of his life. That's about, probably about 15, 20 maybe.

Days. That's good. That's right. Days. Months, actually. I'm measuring months. 15, 20 months. Not happening.

Literally, we've never. It's just not that kind of show, you know. And I wish it was, obviously I wish it was for them and for us. But that's not the situation we find ourselves in. Are you all familiar with Lee Johnson? You know he is? So he's the booty warrior. Am I wrong?

Am I wrong about that? No, no, no. You're spot on. Okay. Yeah. So you are familiar with his... Remind me some of the booty wars that he's fought in? Um, let's see here. It was the, um, uh, it was the, the, the, the cheap clapper,

I mean, I imagine. Oh, the cheat clapper 2001 war? Yeah, also known, also known as a woman's toy. As is, you know, a woman's toy. Yeah. Okay. Cheapper. I mean, it, it's disguised, you see. That would normally, it would make perfect sense for, you know, a homosexual couple to have. Yes. But, you know, you you gotta confuse people. It's in marketing. Oh, I see. Like, they got the rabbit,

and then, you know, the warrior in 2002. I imagine he saw action in the Battle of the Bulge. You know what? Well. No. Not that one? No, the Battle of the Bulges. The Bulges.

It was more than just the one of them. Just the one bulge. Oh, okay. So, yeah. He's a warrior, man. Millions. He's millions. Yeah.

He's a warrior. Wow. You know, I don't know if you ever, you've ever heard this man talk before. He's just, he's wild. How does he talk? Jesus. I know what you want. Yeah.

You're an impression, ha! That's him? Huh? Yeah, that's how he sounds. Yeah, he sounds. That's that guy he's sound. No, he's like this. He's like, hey, look, man.

Back in the penitentiary, man. Booty, man. Booty is more important than water, man. more important than food I like booty man if I would have seen one of y'all guards in there back in the 90s man I would have grabbed one of y'all's butts endured you to say something

see I'm not I'm a warrior that's what I am I'm a warrior and now it kind of talks like this because he's a bit older and they took all his teeth out of his mouth because he was biting people so they took all his teeth out of his mouth

and now he's just like a snapping turtle, man. We train these soldiers to bite people. And then we take their teeth when they continue doing their job. It's just the sad song of the warrior plays again, doesn't it? The sad song of the warrior. Yep, yep, yep, yep, ringing. God, I can't believe Memorial Day, our Memorial Day episode just happened. I know.

And here we are. Honoring the troops. Man. The booty troops. Yeah, you're not going to hold it until next Memorial. day are you you're not going to do that I mean I don't make the schedule but yeah I imagine not this stuff is too important specifically the legal case we have by bye hey guys it's Sean from Hollywood Handbook you heard it now see it Hollywood

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