Hollywood Handbook - Jen D’Angelo, Our Awards Shows Friend

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

The Boys and JEN D’ANGELO fix the awards shows. See Hollywood Handbook live and streaming Fri, June 14th at 7:30 pm PST at Dynasty Typewriter with special guests Doughboys! Get tickets HERE!Also make sure to get the new Summer Edition of the Hat Pack Hat HERE!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. So this is a normal show like this. So a normal show is like this. Normal ish. But this is, but I'm saying it. So I'm saying a normal show is like this. And then like, you know what I mean? But our shows.

Our show is not like this. Our show is normal-ish. We do things a little different. So say what a normal show is like. A normal show says, okay Jen. It's a depression now. Okay Jen, you just walked in here and like we're just starting, but you have to say like,

talk about a famous award that you won. No, they literally will do this on, and I unfortunately have heard some of these normal shows. Not my choice. I was in the car with, I'm blinking, I'm blinking, who was I in the car with? Rebecca Gayheart.

You know, she killed someone in a car, I believe, allegedly. It was, yeah. Was that scary? So as I'm looking back, I remember there being a normal show on, and then I remember I was thinking like, I wish she would turn this off. And she did turn it off in a hurry and got out to deal with all this mischiegos. But I, you know, I was just so relieved that the normal show

had been turned off that I went right to sleep. Wow. Yeah. But that's okay. Yeah, that's now making more sense. Wait, I'm sort of wondering if you had started outside the car and then you suddenly found yourself in her car, like through the windshield or something like that,

and you just barely heard the end of the normal show she was listening to. And then you went to sleep. Did the normal show sound like medics? Sort of like a workplace? Well, first it sounded like honking horns, you know, then it sounded like it had this sort of screeching sound to it, and then it really hurt. But then I remember being asleep,

and then I also remember, yes, that there was a, a guest was like a doctor of some kind. Mm-hmm. Sean, I'm gonna be honest with you, this sounds like Rebecca Gayheart ran over you with her car. was a guest was like a doctor of some kind. Mm-hmm. Sean, I'm gonna be honest with you. This sounds like Rebecca Gayheart ran over you with her car. Well, I appreciate your honesty.

Allegedly. But that's also probably the kind of thing people would talk about on a normal show, right? Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Just tell these stories. Trauma dumping. It's the Trauma Olympics, everyone.

Like, I've got the most trauma. No, me, give me the prize for most trauma. I'm the biggest victim. Yeah. And it's like, everybody knows it's me. That is an old show. It's so nice to be able to get an award for that, basically, at this point.

No, it really is like that. But now we're gonna talk about that award and just go back and forth for a billion years. But actually for real, did you ever win a famous award before? Have you won one? Well, you know, on a normal show I would talk about sort of like the awards that I won

and what they meant to me. Right. Yuck, yeah. But I- But did you never actually win one? More than one or is there a bunch? about sort of like the awards that I won and what they meant to me. But I- But did you never actually win one? More than one or is there a bunch? So I did, yeah, I mean I won a Critics' Choice Award and a WGA Award both for Quiz Lady which is now streaming on Hulu.

And again, like normal show, I would be so thrilled about that. But here on this real show, I wanna complain about the trophies. Yeah. Look, it's awesome that you did that. And I have kind of been saying, like for a long time I was like, just give me two.

No, I was in the same boat where like, I think the awards are such bullshit, they're so stupid. I don't even wanna go there every year. I don't want to, like, go that many. I just want two. And just like, let me have two, Hayes could have two, maybe one. And then, you know, we'll just move on.

But now, having heard all these normal shows where everyone talks about it, I'm like, this is actually a disease. Award is a piece of crap. This is a sickness. Award is crap. Award is crap. And it actually means that it is worse than not getting an award. Sorry.

I've had the experience of not getting one, and a lot of the stuff that I've been doing is actually pretty good. Yes. I mean, so that shit is good. Nobody ever recognize it in any way. Oh, that actually sounds like it could be good as shit. Where like some of the stuff that gets them worried, it's like that actually means that it's worse.

I am doing underground counterculture renegade art. Yes. And then they have these awards shows where they parade around, oh, all the shiny people are going to plaster on their smiles and celebrate more candy-coated fucking garbage. So like, I'm sick of it, you gotta be too, because you're low-key a badass. Oh yeah, no, I go to these award shows

and I just look around and I say, everyone here is a loser. You get up there and be like, oh my God, you thought I was serious? They don't know that I'm actually making fun of them. You actually liked it, you thought I actually was being serious, oh my God. That's embarrassing for you. I would never go,

but I think I would go just to make fun of them. If I could go and sit with my friend and we like, if me and my friend could just be like. If we got invited, if we were nominated for the award and we would go and like literally just sit with my friend and just make fun of them. And they should let us like actually host it and just like be so fun.

I would present, host, I would do anything, you know, anything to be involved. I mean, I think do anything. Anything to be involved. I think it would be fun to host and yeah, just like take it down from the inside. Oh my gosh, just take the fucking piss out of all these. Like my hero, Ricky Gervais. Like my hero, Rickard Gervais. And not take it all the way down where like,

it happens again next year, you do it again. Okay, they never should have let me back in. Don't worry, I promise to be nice this time. Nice at being nasty. After they went ahead and let me back in last time, they don't let me back in again. That's the fourth time. The rules are not exactly being kept unbroken by me here.

So it's a piece of crap. It's a piece of crap. It's Ward's crap. But it's a Ward season, isn't it? Unfortunately. Isn't it sort of always a Ward season now? I feel like I've lost the plot. Maybe for you

You tell us yeah, honestly well, you know with the Emmys now everything's all messed up the bear season Was winning for right after the bear season two, you know, it's all confused now the bear season two isn't this Emmys I mean, I we've lost our minds. That's making me exhausted. And that kind of shit is making me actually realize how much crap it is. I mean, I just wish that we had the standard TV season again.

You know what I mean? Dude. New in September. Oh, cool. Done in May. It was fine. That worked. We all knew what time it was, we knew what time of year it was,

we knew that there was an award season and it was happening during that season and that it wasn't either all year round or never. And my TV should get to go on a little vacation as well, like teacher. Yes. Yes. And so now the TV just has to be working all year long. Imagine if you said that to the teacher.

No wonder TV's in trouble. Teacher would go postal. Yeah, if you told teacher you have to be on, basically 24 hours a day. It gets so hot, like the TV. There's not a big difference. I mean, TV kind of was my teacher. I was basically raised by the freaking thing.

I mean, so was I. Yeah. Yeah, me too. I mean, that is sort of how I always remember that the sun sets in the West and rises in the East is because they say it in Shanghai Nights. In Shanghai Nights. Or Shanghai Noon, excuse me, sorry.

Yeah. Which is weird because that's when the sun is right overhead is the Shanghai Noon, so it's kind of, it's weird that it doesn't really come up with that movie at all, but they do say it. Yeah, yeah, they never talk about when the sun is high. No. I learned what a condom is from an episode of Kate and Allie.

Everyone has these formative experiences when they're young and TV is such a patient, caring teacher and yet we won't give it a break to just say like, take a rest. And teacher will not even tell you what a condiment is. Like if you bring it in, you're like, what is this? Yeah. I'm constantly trying to get teacher to explain it.

What the fuck is this? What is this? What is this? What they basically say is, go ask TV. Yeah. You know, because, for better or worse, TV can't get in trouble. Yeah. You can't hurt TV.

But we need something, like we need some way to, like, sort through this big pile of crap and say, what, how do we say not awards? Awards, the award system's broken, throw it out. Baby bath water, the entire fucking plumbing system, get it out of here. Don't wanna see it again. Art should not be a competition.

Art is not a contest. Art is pure, art is beautiful. That said, we should be able to differentiate the good from the bad stuff. Like, there obviously has to be some kind of... stamp that you place. Trophy or something. No, I know, I know. Something. Stamp that you play. It's not a work. Trophy or something.

It's not like a prize. No, I know, I know. But not a prize. Not a prize. Some sort of symbol, just like a symbol that they put on. Like a, yeah, some ceremonial gesture. Yeah. You know what I mean?

But it has to be figured out. We gotta have it figured out how we decide. Gotta straighten it out. How do we decide who chooses? It's not working, you know. Not these fat cats. Oh my God. Who's the last people I would ever want to decide what's good and what's bad?

They don't even like movies except one, the one that they gave an award to. Mm-hmm. You get to, and everyone gets to keep the old ones. We didn't know. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not trying to take anyone's awards away. No, I mean, take them.

You should be able to keep those ones. What am I supposed to do with these trophies? They're crap. They're crap. They're stupid, it sucks. They don't look good together. The greatest choice one is silver. No one thought about it silver. No one can you like tell us about that? Look at this shit. Yeah, I mean look, I'm sorry. I know this is gonna be Oh, you're not allowed to learn. Yeah, you didn't then you just said look and I was like I literally just said I'm not allowed to

Sorry, I don't listen Okay. Yeah, that's just a cool thing. That's a secret. Yeah, that's just a cool thing about me. Maybe that's a secret. We listen all the time, we don't get any awards. Yeah, don't listen to all this crap. It's just swirling around. I'm just like, I'm sensitive. Like I just like, I'm kind of an empath, which is its own struggle.

That's something I've always thought about you, son. It actually really sucks. Sucks, yes. I'm very sensitive to energy. I am listening, I am kind of taking in, you know, everyone else's vibrations and bullshit and all this fucking trauma. Save the trauma for your mama.

Oh, she gave you some too. Yeah, oh yeah. Mom is always giving out trauma. Talking about their moms, every podcast. How's your mom? Thanks for asking. She's so fucking pissed at me. She's so fucking cheesed off again, man.

It's always something. I can't do anything right. I don't want to get into trauma. He's been playing grab ass. You've been playing grab ass. Yeah. With just anyone you see or? Out at the ass? Yeah, out at the jungle gym. With just anyone you see or?

Out at the jungle gym. With teacher. With teacher. I don't know, maybe that's something you should stop. Okay. Sorry, I don't mean to be your mom. No, yeah, you don't mean to but you sound a lot like her. But, whatever dude. And by the way, I don't mean to be your mom. No. Yeah, you know mean to but you sound a lot like her so but

Whatever dude and by the way just to say it. No, I have not been playing grab ass What I've been doing is dominating a grab ass. I'm winning People talk about playing it they don't talk about what it takes to be a champion and like actually fucking compete number one grab ass Would you take a trophy for grab assing? Yeah, because there's actually a standard by which you can measure a winner and loser. You're right, you're right. There's a fucking scoreboard.

Yeah. But it's silver, you said? Silver? It's over? Oh, it's silver. It's silver. It is over as well. Yeah, no awards are over. But first tell us, like, was it,

like it's like shiny and stuff? It's shiny, the critic's choice is silver and shiny. Okay, and it's shaped like a big star, shooting star? It's a big shooting star, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The star is you or the star is? I mean, the star is kind of, I don't know, I feel like the star is sort of

whatever you want it to be. It's the Quiz Lady, I guess, probably. Quiz Lady's a star. And it has a lot of, it sort of has like five sides. So I feel like, you know, you can sort of say like, there's five stars, so it's like one star for Quiz Lady, one star for me. Yeah, the five pillars of creativity.

Yeah, the project. Jen, Quiz Lady. Me, and then three stars. And then three left over if anyone else wants to step up and actually fucking do some work. Yeah, if anyone wants to claim a side of the star. What's her name, Quiz Lady? Awkwafina. But what's her actual name?

Norlum. No, what's a Quiz Lady? A Quiz Lady. What's what's a quiz lady? A quiz lady. What's the quiz lady's name? Ann Yum. Ann. Yes, okay, yes. Okay, thank you.

Jesus Christ. Sorry. I can't believe this movie won a frickin' shooting star. Well, I mean, to be fair, we weren't a part of the televised ceremony. Ann Lum is Nora from Queens, is Aquafina. Ann Yum is Aquafina, is Nora from Queens, is in New York, one of the televised ceremony. And Yum is Nora from Queens is Aquafina. And Yum is Aquafina is Nora from Queens is in New York, one of the bureaus. Yes.

Her name should have been Quizzy Phillips. Quizzy Phillips. And what's the other one look like? It's silver as well or they, you said they don't look good together. Yeah, well the WGA one, you know, the WGA logo. Let's let's talk about this. Yeah. What is it?

It's a bird perched on a pen. That's next. Like we have to figure out the awards thing. And then right after we're going to go at some logos. Yeah. The SAG logo. It's giving Coco Pelli. I don't know. Yeah, that one's crazy.

Yeah, that can't be what we're doing. That can't. Get with the time, SAG. And by the way, what's the DGA logo? I actually have no idea. That's a problem. That's a problem. That's a problem. That's bad branding. You know what I mean? That's a problem. That's a problem. That's a problem. That's bad branding.

You know what I mean? That's really bad news for them that we don't know what the DJ logo looks like. Then who does? Yes, yes. That frickin' sucks for them. Life can be ridiculous, but you know what's not funny? Getting ripped off. And Harry's agrees.

We do have clean Harry with us today. I wanna just sort of cop to my role in this. Like I feel like I have not been bringing out clean Harry as an interviewer. I feel like I've just sort of been failing in my responsibility to like fully show the world what Clean Hairy is about. Some of it's on me too, punk. I've forgotten most of just kind of the- Hey, hey, hey. Yeah.

I could, but I could be bringing more to the table too, punk. Whether that's true or not, I don't know. I've forgotten so much of it. I remember you were a museum guard, you got fired. You weren't protecting the paintings very well for whatever reason. You hate beards. You wanna take people's beards and you either like

play Yu-Gi-Oh! the card game or you like collect cards or sell them or like something like that. Used to, yeah. I've been kind of stuck on the Yu-Gi-Oh! card thing. I just like that for some reason that that has Used to, yeah. I've been kind of stuck on the Yu-Gi-Oh! card thing. I just like that for some reason that that has really stuck with me. I wanna paint your, it really seems like this is, we're gonna be working together for a long time.

So I wanna like, tell your story better. And I commit to that. Okay. So where, just like starting from the beginning, like where are you from? Like what's kind of the story of your- The museum. Okay.

Or you're asking where I used to work? No, I'm not, no. I'm asking like where you grew as like a kid. As a kid I would go to the Yu-Gi-Oh! cart store a lot. Okay. That I don't even think is true. So not only is that not helpful for, and also not what I'm asking,

I don't think that is correct based on just like your age. I mean, and also calling it the Yu-Gi-Oh, maybe there's a Yu-Gi-Oh card store. I think a lot of- There was when I was a kid. I think it's closed. I don't think that's correct. I don't think that's correct.

I want to, let's just talk about Harry's a little bit. Harry's, German engineer blades, they're made in their own factory. They stay sharp longer Customizable delivery options for schedule refills as low as two dollars half of what you pay for other big brands the razor They take that right here house. Take that beard Yes, we know about that We know about that get a five blade razor weighted handle foaming shave gel at a travel cover for just three bucks at Harry's.com slash the boys Highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry. No risk trial. Don't like your shave. No worries. It's on them

Convenient subscription options that you can cancel at any time If you even just naming the hospital check out my podcast punks Check out clean Harry's new podcast, okay? You have a podcast? Mm-hmm. That I didn't remember. I didn't remember talking about that.

What is it about? It's just me and my funny friends. We all hang out and play all kinds of games. Sometimes people stop by their characters, and I host it. We just have a lot of laughs. Getting ripped off isn't funny. Switch to Harry's. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3.

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I had subscribed to like, I get a card that is my certification for liking music. So frustrating. And they're sending you a new card every two weeks. A new card every two weeks. Yes. I have to throw out the old card. The old card is-

He still likes music. The old card is no longer valid. It's like expired that I, that I like music. And so I get rocket money to cancel it. And now I am noticing a difference when I go around talking about like, I love talking about music and like, I, I, like, I think of myself as being like a music, at parties and stuff.

That's the first thing when people ask what's Hayes really like in person, I go, man, he is so into music lately. But now I find that it is not working the same way. It has gotten out that my card is no longer. That your card expired. And I show them my old cards and they're like, well, the date on this is like old.

And it has affected my ability to talk about it and I don't like music anymore. I signed up for karate thinking like, oh, this will be nice, I'll go in, it'll be good exercise, maybe I'll feel a little more confident. And subscription style karate where you can go in whenever you want.

Yeah, it was just a subscription to a particular dojo and I didn't look at where the address was and then I realized that when I looked at it that there was no address listed and that it just had my house and somebody has been coming into my house and beating my ass lately. They send karate to your house.

Yes, they are. It send karate to your house. Yes, it's, they are, it is direct to consumer karate. Yes. And they are chopping me up with some big chops. And it says, like, yeah, I looked at this, and I actually read the fine print on this, and it says it's like in a box,

like they send it, but it's actually you that is gonna be in the box. Yeah, no, they put me in a damn box. Yeah, so Rocket Money canceled it for me. I still, you know, I guess I still am going to end up in a box, but it's gonna be delayed. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you by up to 20%.

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by going to rocketmoney.com slash The Boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash The Boys. Rocketmoney.com slash The Boys. So, it needs to be normal people. And we're asking that, we're just like going and finding just like a random, not random, but like whoever is just like a random, not random,

but like whoever is just like the most normal person. Not a fat cat. Fucking not some fat cat, but just a real person. Whoever does the family feud polls. Yes, ask them at the same time. While you're there, since you already have them, and they're already answering questions, and you got them good and warmed up.

They probably get pretty revved up at the end of that question circuit. You just go, oh, one more thing. What's the best show? Yeah. Here we are. We showed one person a hundred movies and shows And and here's the ones that they thought were the best ones turns out they liked them all some of these people are

Really Not qualified to like judge like anything that's like moving around. They're like I love that Why is that bad? So they like them all so So they like your stuff and they like my stuff. Oh, wow. You know, who knew that was possible? Are you sure they like your stuff? We don't have to pick one or... I'm saying, I'm just saying, I'm saying in the example

where they said they like all of them. Yeah, yeah. And that's actually, that shouldn't be allowed, that like you show them a hundred movies and shows and they like 99 of them, but they don't like one podcast. At that point, they like them all. Yeah,, but they don't like one podcast. At that point they like them all, yeah. Come on, don't be rude. Just put that one in,

just give that one the award too. I'm not saying that everyone- Or only give that one the award, because apparently they're actually challenging someone. That would be really interesting. Doing the job of the artist, yeah. Well, you actually just gave the one you didn't like. That actually is the one that gets the award.

So maybe you should all like it next time. You actually did like it. If you don't want it actually is the one that gets the award. So maybe you should all like it next time. You don't want it to get the award. Maybe next time you should like it better. Then it's a game now for the family feud, uh, poll, uh, victim. And they are, and they are in this situation, this kind of game theory situation where they have to figure out at any given moment whether saying they do or don't like a show would result in an award for that show. Now I would watch that.

Yeah. I would watch them try to navigate that sick maze. And they have to figure out sort of why did Hollywood Handbook make me so mad They have to turn inward. Oh, maybe we did it on purpose You ever think of that? Maybe that was all part of our plan the entire time like Bane when he Got caught on purpose at the beginning of Bane wanted to get caught. It's like Drake Yeah, we think he doesn't leak it exactly what he's doing. I know that my people don't like me

or telling me secrets about me. That's why I told them a secret. You gotta be honest with me. Here's my secret. I basically have completely ignored the entire Drake and Kendrick feud. That's awesome. Haven't paid that much attention,

but I only, I have a vague sense of what's going on because my hero, my king, Chet Hanks, posted his text to his dad explaining that. And explaining it to his dad. And I was like, this makes sense to me. Baller status. I've seen that as well. Oh, that's famous, this is Jen.

Oh, that's famous to you? Oh, that's not famous to me. I've been too busy reading. I like this other thing that's not famous, but I'm reading it. And by the way, you're reading it? That puts you, sets you apart from Tom Hanks, because you know what his response said, I ain't reading all that.

I ain't reading all that. TLDR. Oh, you listen to it as music? Like, like rah rah sis boom bah. That's cute. It's like you guys participate in the culture. I study it. I actually read it as a text, Like, Ra Ra Sis Boomba. That's cute. It's like you guys participate in the culture. I study it.

I actually read it as a text and the text was really long. Yeah, and really smart too. It really went into the psychology. But, okay, enjoy your music. Are you gonna dance and stuff while you listen to it? Mm-hmm, like a little kid. Do you dance when you listen to the diss tracks? Any music I, like I am kind of like, I'm getting really good at not dancing

when I hear music, but for a long time it was like, it was getting in my feet. What if you hear Uptown Funk? And in my knees, for fucking get it. Yeah. I'm gonna be in the street. That's kryptonite, man. No, there's no way.

You can't. It gonna be in the street. That's kryptonite man. No, there's no way. You can't. It all goes out the window. Yeah. All my training, you know, completely undone. Yeah, the second year.

And I'm starting from zero on other music then if I hear that. I really do have to separate myself from Uptown Funk as much as possible. Yeah. And if you don't believe me, just watch. And so, okay, it's one normal, like, they can't watch all of it, like this big pile of crap. They can't watch all of it, like, this big pile of crap. They can't watch all of it, it's too much.

No way. And so we have to say to that person, who's like your friend who's like the most, the same as you, you know what I mean? And everyone is the same now, so it's not hard. It's like, it is, it now, so it's not hard. These NPCs. Everybody's an NPC except me. I know.

Yeah. I'm the only one with any individuality. Totally. My experience is rewarding and frustrating because it is unique and not anyone else can really relate to that. I'd love to meet another empath. Oh yeah.

I mean, here's the thing that I appreciate about you guys. Excuse me. Are you okay? Yeah, better than ever. Here's the thing that I really appreciate about you guys as NPCs is that you, it seems like you were sort of like designed to kind of mirror my experience back to me because you talk about not being an NPC, but I'm the only one that's not an NPC. But it's just me in stealth mode

because I'm not an NPC. Like I am sometimes pretending to be like one of the guards. You know what I mean? So they don't know and I have to walk at like the same pace as them and behind them. Oh yeah. So they don't know that I'm not an NPC. I'm actually controlling my own guy.

You know what I mean? I'm hidden in plain sight. But then I get right up close to them. Mm! Wow. He's hidden in plain sight. Yeah. You know, it's interesting because we had this whole

hollow blue over COVID recently. Yeah. And the actual virus that we should have been defending against has just been a basic bitch. Like that's the real pandemic is that everyone's so fucking basic. You're right. Everyone is the same now.

Like, no one is actually cool and I don't fuck with that. So I do think that as we go out to kind of get, obviously you're right, we can't just have one person watch all of it, but we do have to be very careful and we do have to find probably a guy like me. Maybe to an extra extent, some people like you

and then have their buddies or even their family because I do, I'm starting to think more that it's, I can't take even so much credit for like my individuality is it might be genetic. And on like, it might be genetic. And on it, like, it might be. If only you could ask your mom, if she was speaking to you right now. She's so fucking pissed, dude.

She would scream if I called her right now. Yeah, don't call her. Scream. So that's actually like, it has to be someone that likes movies movies knows about movies Like has seen a lot of interesting movies has like good ideas about them and stuff Yeah, and it's not it definitely shouldn't be this is such bullshit to me When they're like, oh you got an before, and so now you get to say...

It's gotta be someone from outside the system. I mean, that's really what we're learning. It has to be someone who's a little bit of a rebel, because anybody who's part of the machinery, right, who's been indoctrinated already, no offense, who's like, just kind of complicit in what has been so wrong with the way things have done. That's off the table for me. It's a non-starter. You know who I think will be good at choosing?

Obama. Oh my god. He's outside of the system but every year he releases that list of things that he likes. He obviously is consuming a lot of media. He's watching all kinds of shows and reading books. I don't look, politics, I personally don't care for him. He was never, never my kind of guy. I do agree he should get to choose the awards. Never my kind of guy. I do agree he should get to choose the awards.

I have to give it up. I'm in a similar boat. Would not under any circumstances have a meal conversation, a pleasant interaction of any type. We're good on that. Yeah. All good. You're good on that. Yeah. All good. You're good, dude. You're good.

Oh, but you know what, actually? He's now biased. Because one of his daughters is a TV writer. That's right. Okay. And I think he also actually did win. Oh, he won. He won the awards.

He won. He did won. Yeah, he did won. Well, this traditionally has not worked, but do we just call in Hillary Clinton? As Obama is sort of disqualified. As someone who's like friends with Obama. Yeah.

Got her finger on the pulse. Yeah. And she could watch every movie and show and be like, this one is good. Here's what's good. Mm-hmm. Cause it does have to be one, and it honestly, just instead of like,

here's the music, here's the TV, here's the movies, just pick one thing that's like the best, it gets like, it gets the award it was just so much to fucking keep track of you know and then get a song and maybe goes how it ends again like don't you is lady don't you want instead of being like okay my I was like the best of like this one tiny that's movie made for TV or streaming I mean this is bullshit I want to be best. It's crap. Yes.

And you know, you brought up something interesting about how the timeline has gotten confused where it's like this season of show for this thing or that was from last year. Just whenever you get around to watching it, Hillary, that's when you decide. Yes. Like, I don't mind.

It's, for me, worst case scenario, it's a nice reminder of like, oh, I did actually really like that or mean to see that. You know what I mean? Whether it's Clues Lady from a couple years ago or whether it's, you know. Or even if she just came out and was like, you know what wins best?

Season nine of Friends. I would say you're great. Because it's all, this is the way we consume media now. Yeah, it's streaming. This is the competition. That's streaming. It's everything. I mean, yeah, it's streaming. They should fold it all into the Grammys too.

The Grammys already has a bunch of stuff that they're doing. There's kind of books in there too. I don't like- Right? Yeah, there's books. Am I crazy? There's books in there too. I don't like. Right? Yeah, there's books. Am I crazy? There's books in there? They definitely did books at least one time. And so you put that, you just put it all in the Grammys.

Yeah. And it's just one Grammy. You get the Grammy. Every year. Here's the Grammy. Something gets the Grammy. And then instead of an EGOT, you get the gggg. Mm-hmm.

Yes, the gggg. Right? That's if you win five of four. That's if you win the Grammy four times. You're a ggg. And there's only one year. Ggg. You're a ggg. The Popeye.

I feel like the EGOT, we're over it. Well, the first three letters are a little suspect to me. If that's what we're chasing, that's not why I got into this, okay? Exactly. That's actually the antithesis of what we're supposed to be doing. Kevin, for you, it spells ego.

Oh. Yeah. So that is the- I'm so glad you said it. He was really- An enemy bell thing. He's freaking out. I mean, it's also the name of someone

who's our friend and stuff. And so, in that, that's great. Who also, with all due respect, is the enemy of good art. I mean, she's not our friend because of like, she's our friend just because of like totally personal stuff and like, despite the fact that she is the enemy of good art. Yeah.

Just fighting it. Just fighting it at every turn. You almost got to respect it. Oh my gosh, when someone's willing to just as an individual stay totally true to themselves and be completely consistent. Mm-hmm. I applaud that. That's why you love Kevin Spacey.

Kevin is an interesting one. Kevin is a specific personality. Kevin is a specific personality. I have been on record many times and I'm being misquoted by you again. No, I don't, no, I don't love Kevin Spacey. I love Frank Underworld. Yes. I love Frank Underworld and I think that he,

even with his conniving. And Kevin is receding. I don't know if you've noticed this. Even with his, yes. Frank is taking over more and more. We're seeing less Frank, I'm sorry, we're seeing less Kevin. Of the host. And that's a good thing.

Yeah. And that's a good thing. We root for Frank. Oh, yes. When he becomes full Frank, I think we should embrace him back in the society. But is Frank a good actor? You still keep your eye on him. Kevin was pushed onto the subway tracks by Frank Underworld.

Is Frank a good actor? Well, he certainly had all those bozos on Capitol Hill fooled. Ugh, but that's not hard. He was playing them like a- You did it too? Oh yeah, I fool. Dang reporter. I fool the Hill.

You fool the Hill? Oh yeah, I fool, I fool the hill. You fool the hill? Every goddamn day. They try to pass laws, I go, no you're not. Wow. Yeah. It's pretty cool what I do down there. Okay, flex.

Did you see that video of in the Taiwanese Parliament, the guy who just like grabbed the bill and ran away so it wouldn't get passed? That's my Drake and Kendrick feud where I only saw that from Chet Hanks texting his dad about it. But he did a great job explaining it, right? Oh my gosh. Yeah. It was very, it was really engaging and felt like he understood all the nuance. I mean, here's a wild pitch. Chet Hanks decides best. Well, this is actually making me think, like you're talking about the Hill and some of these fools.

That that should be kind of folded into this because it's all a freaking popularity contest, dog and pony show circle jerk sesh. And so why don't we, instead of being, okay, first of all, now you have to vote again. Like we just did the Grammys and now you have to like, like now we were like doing a kind of the same thing of saying like now pick something.

Like I just did, we just did the Grammys. Now I gotta vote on a budget? So if that, if the grant, whatever gets the Grammy could become, like obviously like a song can't be president. Oh, but I wish it could. It could. What song would you pick it to be president?

Uptown Funk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, they go, oh, well, a dictator's a bad thing and I go, mm, I go. Bump, bump, ba, bump, ba. No, no, no, no, no. Uh, yeah, it's, it's actually, uh, that's actually really fun to think about.

President Uptown Funk. Everything would be better. It's actually, that's actually really fun to think about. President Uptown Funk. Everything would be better. But it has to be like, there has to be some way to figure this out. Whatever the best thing is, whoever made that is like, gets to like, choose other ideas for like, what the, not taxes, but like, like world affairs.

Like whoever, whoever is, and for food too, honestly. Like for, and for food too, honestly. We forgot food. Which there's too many of, and by the way, talk about a popularity contest. Oh man. Wouldn't it be nice if every year there's just- Parade of ass clowns.

Instead of all this crap, it's just, this is the food. You know what I mean? Well, just let someone pick like every day. It's like this food or that food. Do you like this style of food? It's like, I like food. Put it down.

Yes. So whoever, okay. At the very least, whoever gets the Grammy gets to pick the food. Pick the food. Put it down. Yes. So whoever, okay, at the very least, whoever gets the Grammy gets to pick the food. Can we all agree on this? And then that's the food. That's done. No more crap. Because they're always coming up to me and saying, they're giving me a list of food and they want me to pick the food. Which one? I'm kind of busy. I'm just sort of wondering what you're paid for in this scenario. I'm literally taking the test.

Yes. So wait, oh, and so I'm giving you money so I can do the work and pick the food. I did my job. This is after work for me. This is how I relax. I didn't sit down to take a test. I actually finished school a while ago. And you know what?

And not by choice. They kicked you out? Yes. For grab ass? No, no, no, no, no. It was a whole- Certainly not for being not good enough for grab ass. Yes, yes. That was a whole... Certainly not for being not good enough. Yes, yes.

That was a whole different... They were like, you gotta get out of here so people can train. Teacher, the particular teacher that I was playing with... ...was a willing competitor. So that was not the issue. I put a sign on top of the school saying go seniors, have a picture of beer. A picture of beer?

Picture of beer. Whoa. Go seniors. Go seniors, picture of beer. Wow. That's messed up, man. Well, look, I was young, I was a little wild, and at the time I actually was exercising my true beliefs,

which was beer rocks and seniors rule. Seniors do rule. Mm-hmm. I think we can all agree on that. And they need support as well. They gotta be allowed to go. Like somebody let them go. They're all holding back. You can feel it. Seniors are some of the most marginalized people. And we don't quite understand the pressure that seniors are under.

Oh, yeah. Well, they're not just going for themselves. They're also setting an example for the pathetic frosh. There is an epidemic of senioritis in seniors. And it's not just the seniors themselves, they're also setting an example for the pathetic frosh. I mean. There is an epidemic of senioritis in this country. And people. I got it.

People. I got it. I've got it during this podcast. Dying. Senioritis has taken the lives of more seniors. As we enter the last five to seven minutes of the podcast, I have a vicious case of senioritis. You know, as anyone would.

I mean, I do feel like we're sort of in a senioritis era, you know what I mean? Not to get political, but. Well, but feel free. I mean, I feel I've seen the way you handled them bozos on the hill. Yeah, I mean seen the way you handled them bozos on the hill. Yeah. I mean, you're juggling them basically. Exactly.

I'm running circles around those bozos on the hill. Uh, you know, the world's ending. I think we can all agree. It's over. It's over. Take your award. It's a trash fire. But we know it's over and so everyone's just

kind of coasting, you know. With a side of crap. Just like that old, last trimester in school. Mm-hmm, the third trimester. That final trimester. Mm-hmm. Whoa. Hollywood handbook. Whoa. Hollywood handbook.

So the Grammy, they pick the food. I didn't really figure out what the president and the other politics, I didn't really figure that out. There's something with like, here's my real question, is it like computers and stuff too? Like is that part of it? That's like a whole different thing. Well, I mean, ultimately we, you know,

as you bring up computers and we talked about needing someone to watch all the crap and have, you know, a neutral opinion, it does make me wonder, is it time for AI? It might be time to just let AI. Do we just let them, like? Everyone's like trying to kind of fight city hall, not to, you know, like, it's, we're.

Because it can actually watch, like, all the, and it actually already did watch it. It's already seen them all. It's actually funny. It's already seen them all. It's actually funny. It's seen what we've yet to create. It's seen what we have created. Yeah.

It's seen it all. And you know what? Anytime I see, you know, if I'm online shopping, which I do all the time. Guilty, we do it. We all got, you know, a little bit of that. I can't stop online shopping. The world's ending, who gives a crap.

It's over, buy whatever you want. Come on. You know, you scroll down to the reviews, sometimes you see a little AI-generated summary of the reviews. It never makes that much sense, but it's fine. Fine, it's not that bad. Better than reading all these freaking reviews.

Yeah, it'll say, you know, like, people like that it works, however they like that it doesn't work. And I'm like, I get what you mean, basically. Like, you could pick the Grammy. All right. And like, I would honestly, it would do a better job than like me,

like, I'm not even allowed to look at this stuff. Like, I'm not even allowed to look at the award, and I'm not even allowed to look at what they gave the award, and I'm not even allowed to look at what they gave the award to. Like, that's how they really don't want me anywhere near this stuff. And so how am I gonna-

And why is that, Hayes? Why do you think they don't want you around? I think they're scared. I think they are scared of some of the stuff I've been saying I'm gonna do. That's gotta chilled under their bone, but there's also just the idea of like, and we've all experienced this with Hayes,

when you look at Hayes, you see yourself through Hayes' eyes. Yes. And if the awards were to do that, they wouldn't like what they see. you see yourself through Hayes' eyes. And if the awards were to do that, they wouldn't like what they see. Oh no. That's part of stealth mode, is like as I'm imitating the movements of the NBC to avoid detection,

then I am presenting the perfect mirror of my opponent at the same time. And so, and also I am saying the stuff that I'm gonna like do to them, like if they piss me off. I am getting pissed off. Like this is actually getting ridiculous. Like with all the stuff I've been doing, like putting in on this and they don't even want to talk to me

About getting an award. That's actually like yeah, I actually think I'm well within my rights to start getting like deeply pissed off at this point and like but but it's bad for him to like play grab-ass at the absolute height of of the It's not profession, obviously. Profession is the wrong word. It's a lifestyle.

But it is an athletic achievement. And it was teacher's idea. And actually saw in me, I think said, you've got the right frame. You could be really incredible at grab-ass. At a time when I was just looking for anyone to like find something positive in me. Oh yeah.

Cause there was not a lot. I was getting a lot of notes. Uh, and they were not, and they were not focused on potential for me. They were more just like, cut it out. Like don't touch that. Don't put your hand there. Yeah.

Like stop doing that. Like don't eat that. Don't put your hand there. Yeah, like stop doing that Like don't eat that and there's that out of your mouth the teacher can do that. Don't dig that up What are you? Where did you get a shovel? Do not well don't eat the shovel now It was this kind of thing. So if somebody just sit down and say hey How tall are you? Geez, you got the perfect build for grab ass. That must've felt great. Oh my God, suddenly the potential opened up for me.

I saw a whole future. That's kind of how I felt when I won the Critics' Choice Award on the red carpet and not as part of the televised ceremony. Oh yeah. I was just like, this, I've been seeing it. Yeah, it was on the news. Amazing glamour. The red carpet is the entire show.

Yeah. It was great. You know, you're just sort of like... I'm gonna go in, sit down, listen to a million hours of crap. It's like, just, I'm here, I walk out of limo, I get the award or not, I walk back to the limo. I go home, I go to bed. And sitting is the new smoking. Oh yeah.

You can't be sitting. So now we're sitting down or waiting for the award. No, we're standing, we're keeping it moving. Yes, we're going. We're taking our award, We smile. We keep moving. These award shows, I mean. They're gonna make Thank You for Sitting soon. Yeah.

Thank you for sitting. Thank you for sitting. That's gonna be the next one. It's gonna be a whole legal thriller. You know, people trying to take down Big Sit. Yes. Oh, it's gonna be. Yeah, The Insider.

Michael Mann's The Insider. Yeah. That's gonna be the next one. The Insider. Bye. Bye. Yeah. Whoa. Hollywood handbook.

That was a Head Gum podcast. This is Jeopardy! Hosted by Head Gums Jeffrey James. This beloved Jeopardy! inspired segment from the Head Gum podcast is coming to you live for a one night only game show on Thursday, June 6th at 5 p. 5pm Pacific time. And we're on it and we're playing against Mitch and Weiger and Carl and Lamar.

Wait, back up Hayes. We're on it? Oh, but I thought everyone last time thought that we didn't like it and have a good time and they didn't like us on it. The show seems to be very confusing to people where they think that they don't like Us being on it at that way that we don't either that it was and that Then Sean is me mad and that I was okay mad, but now I'm on it. So I guess what you're saying is I'm a good actor.

Jeffery is good and you liked me on it. And let me, let me just let everyone know right up top. When Sean is mad, you'll know. When he's mad, you will be 100% sure. There, there, there'll not be any sort sure. Benny's mad. There'll not be any sort of light speculation. Yes. Join for the chaos and stay for the gameplay.

It's one you won't want to miss. Get your tickets today at moment.co.gefferty. And that's only $10 and it's moment.co slash geoffardy