Hollywood Handbook - Jenny Slate, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

With Hayes in a predicament, Sean welcomes JENNY SLATE on the show to help him through hosting solo.Check out Jenny's new podcast, I Need You Guys, with Max Silvestri and Gabe Liedman!Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Yeah, so obviously, like, I think it's going to go smooth and everything, but as I said, hey, it's not here, so I'm kind of flying solo, and I think what we'll do right now, this won't be on the show, but you'll just, as kindly as I can say it, you'll be quiet for a minute because I have to do sort of the intro. You got it. You know, and normally it's, I have a co-host here and we're kind of chatting, but I think I can do my own and I'm just going to kind of take a second to like get into the energy that I need and to the kind of vibe that I need to like host the show, which is, that's a job. That's, I'm at work.

I'm just not talking because I don't know if I should, because I want to respond to. That's perfect. I'll stop talking. You not talking is perfect. And then I'll just do my thing and I'll. what's up bastards and motherfuckers all you fuck sticks out there in listener land come on in and sit down and pull up a chair you know you're tuned into the only podcast that sells pills to make your dick less hard because we don't need that stuff here on hollywood handbook all the baddest sons of bitches and tough guys

like to listen to this show and once again you're with the head bitch in charge mr uh mr mr mr uh uh god i feel like i had it did it feel like i was like didn't it feel like it was going really well yeah yeah no i'm i'm i'm you host a podcast like yeah yeah were you about to say your your own name and you kind of petered out or well i okay god i could have done that I could have done that. What happened for me in the moment, right, was I was like, I said, Mr. And I thought, like, oh, it shouldn't just be Mr. Clements or like Mr.

Mr. Sean, although, as you pointed out, it's like, that would have been fine. I thought, oh, I've got to have something really good. Yeah. I was coming off of head bitch in charge, which felt like incredible. Yeah, that was really good. I mean, you could have gone back to the pills that make your dick softer. Well, yeah, because that could have been like a great, like, head bitch and charge, Mr. like, rock hard.

I'm going to kill you with my cock right now. Yeah. I don't know what your vibe is. No, that's interesting. I guess I was mainly, I was trying to talk about the listeners in that section, make them feel good because I don't know. I mean, I'm sure you're aware of this. You're in the podcast space now. you're a little newer to it, but primarily there's only like three to four kinds of advertisers

you can get. Creditory gambling companies. Okay. Prescription pills almost exclusively for hair loss and erectile dysfunction. So it is, we're just really putting it out there on the very like front page of podcasting that we're assuming. dickless losers bald you know sexually inactive

people are the only people that are really going to be like contributing any money into this ecosystem and that any other money they have should go into this sort of like very addictive like corrupt system that we also have and so that's like

you know that's what's going on now when I'm not doing those ads And believe me, I do those ads, what I felt was maybe I could kind of pump them up a little bit. I don't really want to say, what was your line? I'm going to kill you with my cock. I think something about a rock hard cock. I'm going to kill you, kill you. Like, it was, I don't know, it's like I was just spitballing.

That's cool. That's cool. And now I'm more like lost in my own thoughts about like, well, even if there's no boner involved, like you can definitely still be really sexually active. Like I just started to go through all the different other stuff people can do. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? It's ADHD. I was like, wait, what about like third base?

Yeah, no, obviously. Look, you know. And on this show, on this show, we talk about all the bases. I mean, this isn't what anyone's asking. I don't know why I'm here doing that. I'm just like, yeah. You know, even if, even if you need a pill to be less hard or more hard, you can still like kiss a boob. Yeah.

Or kiss a butt. Well, yeah. Kiss anything. Just saying. I'm not. And I'm not trying to diminish that in any way. Let me be so clear. And Jenny, thank you for calling my ass out.

Oh, man. Thank you for holding me accountable. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. Because here I am, you know, an adult man responsible for the mental well-being of hundreds of listeners. Oh, those bald listeners. who get everything who can't get it up everything for me and I'm and I am hosting a show big guest I'm on my own and I'm acting like we can't be sucking on titty's out here with a soft dick

come on man you definitely can't not you but like look you can anyone can be sucking on titties maybe you should call that unfortunately is not the name of my new podcast and I wish it was It's not called anyone Can be sucking on ditties But also let me just say I thought you were doing great You only gave yourself one try Yeah, yeah

Well that's yeah And I did kind of break down In the middle of that And what I guess I would ask for Is just a tiny bit of grace Oh my gosh, you got it And maybe I could come in again And maybe that was like

Too aggressive And what we could do Is just like This was fine but we'll I'll do a shorter intro we'll get to you you can do all your you know promotional stuff and we can just get to know each other let yeah and let me just like get into it um Kevin is there anything from you keep it up no pen intended sorry excuse me that I started it I started it yeah you did oh man not this again another damn podcast i can't believe it how'd i find myself in this situation

yep that's me you're probably wondering how i got here and it is mr shan and i am going to be hosted a hollywood handbook and i'm so grateful for everyone who came here and just you know take your meds please absolutely there's also a lot of therapy ads that you can do. No, take your meds and have your caretaker go ahead and put you really close to the speaker for this episode because we wanted to feel like a big warm hug when you're wrapped in the arms of these two sort of, for lack of a better term, armchair experts who are going to be doling out advice on everything from raising children to navigating. manic depression, there's no reason that we wouldn't be the primary source for you to get tools that you would need to deal with all of that stuff. And we're also going to help you with your relationship, your career, and of course, which I was hoping wouldn't come up

this time but it's just it's just like it's what podcasts are all about my guest today it's uh i'm going to butcher this i think you're doing really well johnny slottie yeah you got it i'm johnny slottie and i'm super excited to to be here today um yeah and i hope that everyone really is very close to their speakers as you said yeah get right in there and get your your cheek next to the speaker so that you can hear it, but you can feel it on your face. I hate that there's video to podcast now. And I know this could be a video clip for all I know. I hate that there's video because what I like is you used to listen to it and you would just stare at that speaker, wouldn't you? Yeah. That's right. You just stare right at your system, whatever your system is.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's go through your system. I mean, you said you wanted to talk about it. Yeah. I love talking tech, as they say. Yeah, no, you're a, you're a speakerhead. So, like, go ahead, like, talk about the brands and, like, the whatever, the subwoofer, et cetera. Yeah, I have a woof two 90 and I have nine of them because you don't get the 290 unless you have nine. And then I have, I have, yeah, like the table for it. That's sweeter as well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I have all the dongles and all the dongles and all the. chords and I just really blast it and the neighbors are like turn that down but I just like keep freaking ripping it and I love that and like a big sound head tweeter tweeter treble eater Kevin you're a sound guy is that work that does work so so you know I'm learning here too so you have obviously a a podcast mm-hmm tell me the name of it it's called I need you guys you don't need that much yeah I need him quite a bit you don't even that much hey you're here without them today and you're doing pretty good that's true i will say right before this i was texting them um hey guys uh is dropbox um a website or an app and they had to tell me you know i need them

a lot i can hardly do anything honestly so often the answer's both isn't it it was both in fact Yeah. Yeah. And the way you do this show Mm-hmm. Is you Zoom. Is that right? I guess I feel like we Zoom?

Yeah. Yeah, we Zoom to do the show, don't you? We Zoom on in and we sometimes use like Riverside, maybe, you know, not to get to. inside baseball. That's taking me back. But growing up in the Bronx. Like you have a real studio that you're sitting in. That's crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really nice. They have started to Airbnb, each of these couches, you know, in the evening hours. And so, you know, sometimes you do come in and somebody is like still in their jammies and you're kind of having to like gently encourage them to clear out the space and you'll realize that the microphone was being used as a pillow and it's, you know, it's a little bit twisted in a different, you know, such a, yeah, that's the best you can hope for, right? Yeah, I mean, I don't, I, it's really fun if you see someone in their jammies on purpose or jammies surprise, like someone is like, there's like someone, you're at a dinner party at someone's house and they're like, oh, I got to get, you know, so like our kid into the bath.

Then the kid comes down. They're jammies. That's really cute. But like an adult in their jammies, and I wasn't expecting to see that, that can be really, I think, bad. Really traumatizing. Yeah. And we do unpack trauma on the show. Yeah.

I want to ask for me, is the show on a network of any kind? Is there like a parent company? Yeah, man. We're with Smartless and Sirius XM. Great. Okay. perfect and are they like hiring like like are they like do they have room like are they full up in terms of having shows or is this for you or i don't know i'm interested it's called doing an

interview but like do they have like like in terms of like even if somebody was willing to take like you know not to assume anything but like way less than what you guys are like would that be, you know, appealing to them just to do a show? Like, I don't, I don't, I don't work there. Like, I work for them. But yeah, I think there's someone else you should probably talk to. But I do. Yeah, okay, great. So then can I just have their contact info? And like, can I just have, like, you know, if there is someone else, like, who would that person be? Can you just like kind of lay out, you know, their email or whatever? Just drop it in the chat for me. It's Howard Stern at JCC.com.

Oh, perfect. Yeah. So I do, you know, as we talking about podcasts, I want to say, like, I've been doing this show for about, I think, 12 years, 13 years. You have? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And that's exactly the reaction I want.

No, I'm not. Because it feels like just yesterday. That seemed really cunty. And that's not how I feel about it at all. I just, um, uh, cross my heart. I listen to very few podcasts, and I'm kind of like a, I just don't use the phone and, like, tech a lot. It's, I'm doing it for the news. Well, the Dropbox.

I mean, this is like, I have evidence already. The Dropbox question. It's like, I'm like, this is consistent. I'm being told a consistent story of who this person is in their life. Yeah, it's not even because I'm, like, off the grid. It's more like how I feel about sports. I'm just like, I've felt about this for a while that. I'm not good at it, computers and phones and stuff, using it for the bare minimum.

And I just feel like podcasts are sort of part of that. And I'm kind of like listening to news and then like trying to get away from the phone. But anyway, you've been doing the show for 12 or 13 years. Yeah, but now, I mean, before I even get to that, can I say something, Jenny? I hope. Can we not limit ourselves in this way? oh I'm not good at this I see you know what I mean

oh I'm not oh I'm just not good at it and then we just we cut off this whole side of our lives that could exist and I don't care about the technology thing but I think you should be a professional athlete like I just go like oh sports I'm not good and it's like well maybe we haven't found our sport

yeah for real have I tossed a javelin a couple times only you know I'll tell you what I will never do. And what actually makes me feel angry when I see one is a frisbee. I don't get how to hold it. It's annoying. The wind takes it. If it hits you on the head, even if you're grown up, it still hurts. It hurts. We're going to the park. Can't stand it. We are going to the park. What am I, a freaking lab mix? You, me, and the park. A gold retriever mix with my mouth open. No, thanks. I don't like that at all. Hackysack. Not a sport, but I don't want that either.

We will be at the park. The next time I see you, it will be a wide open field in the middle of a park. And we're going to get you slang in that thing. Just rip in that. What do they call the Frisbee? Is there like a nickname for it? It's a, well, yeah, it's not just a disc. What is it?

I'm not talking about aerobies. Those are really fun. No, I have to think of what it's called. I got to just go with disc You know I gotta just do disc I mean that is what it is I mean ultimately

You know Yeah I don't know I mean I really like baseball I like to play that And I think I'm okay at it I really like tennis I think that's cool

I'm not good at basketball I don't like how you're always trying to get around people. Frolf is your sport. It's like, what's that? It's, well, it's Frisbee golf. Absolutely not. I couldn't like anything less than Frisbee than golf. We're getting you in there. And even mini golf, I'm like, go fuck yourself. I want soft serve. I'll go somewhere just to get that. I don't need to go to the combo, especially in Massachusetts where I'm from. It's like, I feel like everyone's trying to do mini golf in the summer and I hate it. Well, so I feel like I'm being really negative. No, you know what? It's you're being yourself. You're, you're hate everything you hate technology you hate sports luckily those things are not popular

at all so we're in a safe space like everyone's going to kind of be on your side I have been doing the show for 12 years and normally when I do the show there's someone else sitting there right and that man's name is hazed out and port

do you have any association with him do you have any connection with him um you know not not personally That feels fucking incredible. Aware of him in the zeitguide. This is the best part of my day. Are you guys, do you have a good relationship? I thought so.

Oh, no. As of like today? I really thought we did. Yes, as of this morning. Here I am. Do you feel comfortable sharing more? So we have this guest coming on the show today, and I won't say who, and he knows. I'm scared.

Hasteo, I'm scared. I've been talking about how scared I am for a while about this particular episode. And he decides at, what time was it, Kevin, that he texted us? 6 a.m. He decides at 6 a.m. To say, essentially, I'll leave out some of the specifics. Okay. Fuck you.

Whoa. I mean, that's what he said. Did he say that at 6 a.m. too? Fuck you. I mean, basically. Well, it seems like if you're not able to really confirm that he said that, that you're talking more about your feelings than what he said. Was that not the energy?

Well, I'm mostly just trying to get what's the copy. Like, what did he text? So that you can know your truth, honestly. Okay. And am I the guest? Yeah. Oh, but why? I said I wasn't going to say that.

But he basically was like, fuck you. Okay. Okay, here's the text. I hope this goes through. I'm at the bottom of a very deep well. Oh, my God. I saw some kids throwing money into the well, and I love money. So I tried to climb down and get it myself.

I slipped on a brick and I fell and broke every single bone in my body except one winky face I don't know was he texting this with noodle hands then are this fingers are broken if it's every single bone well maybe that's the bone maybe it's like the index figure I don't

he's texting this to you with an erexious crazy disrespectful 6 a.m. I don't I don't know I don't you know but This is I'm just getting the text and it's and then it's like please send help like here's my location like I won't you know I won't be able but it's like basically all I see is I'm not going to be able to help you through this very scary episode that you have to do. And so what I'm trying to determine you've got two co-hosts. So in some ways this couldn't happen to you right? Max and Gabe almost in every way. way I would say this couldn't happen to me. Because first of all, didn't he send his location? Yeah.

Right. So I feel like that's sort of a, you skipped over, like, I think that's an Easter egg you left behind. Could have pop that in your basket. And I feel concerned. Well, you said you wanted to talk about Easter. So, yeah, so you said you wanted to plug Easter. I asked you if you had anything to promote before the show. That's what they say, right?

And I'm picking up the hint that you did want to do. a whole chunk out of Easter. Well, it's just before Thanksgiving. Got to get started. Yeah. I'm getting into, you know, like this whole host dynamic thing. Yeah, I'm going to keep on that. I'm realizing that we never, we just never had this conversation.

This happens, right? In these like, you know, two, three person dynamics in your relationship. You know, you get whatever. You marry someone. You realize like, oh, we never talked about like what religion our child was going to be. Or you have some thing. that you just like left unsaid. Right.

And we never really decided on what the punishment would be for not arriving at an episode, what the consequence, because you have to have consequence. Yeah. And so I think that's right. And so I'm hopefully going to help you. I don't know if you have determined that with Max and Gabe already. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just a gift certificate. someone is to send a gift certificate they're not there you send me at the risk of being a nuisance I'm going to ask for a little more I'm going to ask for a little more specificity on the gift certificate unless you don't unless you guys

are so in tune with each other that just one of you said gift certificate everyone knew what it meant send a gift oh okay so like what is a gift certificate well like so if i so if so let's say max doesn't arrive he owes you a gift certificate yes and Gabe if Gabe is all and it doesn't matter where it's from and it doesn't matter what amount it is no no it it matters where it's where it's two mm-hmm yeah i said from and you said too and really it's both isn't it well of course yeah yeah I mean, what are we doing?

You know what I mean? So is it the same gifts certificate for both of you? Or is it two different gift certificates? And does everyone have their own gift certificate location? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Wait, what was the third one?

Their own gift certificate, what? Give it to a location or a source destination? give certificate corroboration or What? What? Am I being weird? I feel like I'm being so normal.

We would never know. You know, I mean, believe me, I'm not the one to ask who's being weird. Do you have these friends, some of these friends where they act so weird that you go, I think I was being weird, you leave. And then it's days later, sometimes years later that you go,

You know what? They were being weird. Right. I was being actually fine. Hey, man. I'm not even saying anything. I'm just saying Gables is to chewy.com. Chewy.com.

And I'm Michaels. Michaels. You can use it in the store. You could use it online. Michael Jordan's Steakhouse. And here you said you don't like sports. That's a good system. And then what's the number?

Is it just like one episode check? Oh, yeah, every episode $100, every episode that you miss $100. So it's a good round figure. It shows remorse. There's a little bit of like, whoa, I can actually get a lot with this. Especially at Michaels, especially with the deals, the seasonal deals and things like that. So, and just to even extrapolate from this, it feels like, so Smartless has given you guys. Like $300 of episode.

I'm going. Yeah. You got to email this Howard's turn guy, Kevin. Yeah, get on the horn with Howard, and he'll get you a room. Hollywood handbook. Holiday traditions. It can be funny, right? I remember one year, my uncle Buzz called me over one Christmas.

He was visiting. And he said, I got a special present for you, just for you. and he handed me a little present a little rectangular present he says why don't you open that up before your brother sees and i you know i pull the wrapping paper off i'm all excited and i can see it's it's it's a it's a picture and a frame i turn it it around and i see that it's a it's a drawing that he did of of the space needle and had space needle written on it.

And he says someday I'm going to take you there as soon as they come up with the rocket ship technology. And I realized that he thought the space needle was in space.

And I told Uncle Buzz that that's not that space needle is on space. It's in Seattle. It's in Washington. And he just, he didn't say anything. He just, he just kind of went back to the rest of the group. And then he did it again the next year. I think maybe because he was so embarrassed,

what had happened the year before, that he actually forgot everything about it. And I think maybe it helped him. to think that the space needle was in space. Anyway, I think a picture frame that actually shows, like, photos, like digital photos is a lot better. Like the aura frame, I think, is a much, much better gift. It's got unlimited free photos and video. You can preload the photos before it ships.

You just download the R app. You connect it to Wi-Fi. You can keep adding photos from anywhere anytime you can personalize it. It's a gift box included. Just a great gift for anyone in your family. for a limited time visit a raframs.com and get $45 off r s bestselling carver matt frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code the boys at checkout that's a u r a frames com promo code the boys this exclusive black friday cyber mondays deal is their best of the year so

order now before it ends support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply guys it's november that means it's time to clean your bank. Found it eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes, no more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. Your bank is dirty. You ever open your bank account?

You see, you tried to make corn on the cob. You made a huge mess. You tried to do homemade corn on the cob. cob and your bank account, imagine what a big mess you've made. Don't even look at it. Just call and found to clean up what you did. They identified the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses, things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing, invoicing, budgeting. And it turns out manufacturing. You are going to sell homemade corn on the cob as your business. And they built an app that does it all for you directly from your business

checking account. Found is reimagining what business banking should be by putting your bookkeeping, invoicing, and tax tools directly into your business checking account. Scroll, Kevin! It's so stressful, juggling multiple apps, chasing receipts, or dreading tax season. So stressful, dreading tax season. Now imagine what's like to have everything. Banking, bookkeeping, invoicing, and taxes handled in one place. That freedom, to me, is my spirit animal. Take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's F-O-U-N-D.com.

Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member FDIC, joined the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with Found. Hollywood Handbook. As I also sort of talk about, obviously, um, consequences, uh,

for our actions. Yeah. You wrote a book, didn't you? I wrote, I did. I wrote a book. It's not about consequences at all. But writing a book has a consequence, does it not?

Well, it certainly does. What do you think it is? When you've written one? Yeah, the consequence for writing a book. Well, certainly, it's like whatever you wrote down is just out there. That's true. I know what's going on up inside that little mulears sometimes. Yeah, in this dome.

Yeah, you accidentally told on yourself. Well, no, I wrote it on purpose. It's my second book, even. Double book. And here's, and Kevin, here's Jenny. What, like it's hard? Oh. What, like it's hard?

Write in book. Oh, man. Come on. I feel worried about, you know, hazed down in the bottom of the well. Please. I'm just saying, maybe is that the consequence that you get left wherever you are? Drama. It is always drama with Hayes.

It's always something, right? Ooh, pay attention to me. I'm hurt. I'm in a well. I mean, how often does he... I mean, I guess this is the first time he's texted this. This is the first well? This is the first well, but it's always something where it's like,

um, uh, I guess I can't really think of another example of anything like this he's done, but it just feels, but it just feels, but it just, feels like that kind of vibe from him all the time where he like needs something and i and i am so drained at this point oh everyone's exhausted i'm so tired daylight savings yeah is it saving

you know right i don't i love it yeah i'm asking i happen to love it uh i happen to love it uh I happen to love daylight savings. When I was little, I was like, it scared me, you know, to wake up, to have it getting dark earlier because it seemed it was getting close to bedtime. I think that felt threatening to me. Now as an adult, I like it when the world darkens early. It sort of meets me right at the seam of my depression, which gets a little bit worse in the late afternoons.

But still shout out to Zoloft. It helps. But I like daylight savings time. a lot okay so just for anybody keeping score yeah I do think we don't we don't like sports we do like that it gets dark at four o'clock yeah I love it then you can be like listen to the news and pour a glass of wine mm-hmm you're carving out a little niche for yourself and yes and obviously for everyone out there listening you don't have to drink wine I do I just like to say you don't have to drink wine no I

you don't. I do. And you don't have to mix it with yours aloft. Obviously, some of us do. That didn't come to doctor recommended, I will say. That was more of something I felt into. And I was like, oh, this is an interesting melange. And I just, I started to enjoy it. But sometimes I'll have a gluten-free beer. And that'll, I love the fizziness of that. Okay. I'm just, I'm sober, so I'm getting really uncomfortable. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. Can I ask when you do smartless because you said you're on their network, when you actually appear on the show, who is bringing you on? And what is the reaction that you are preparing yourself for when you are initially revealed in the Zoom? Okay. I did it a few years ago. Okay. I believe I was a guest. But you got to do it again, right? I think they've re-aired.

Oh, okay, perfect. All right. Yeah. And you were a guest of who? I was, I think I was a guest of Sean, Sean Hayes, from what I remember. And, you know, real talk, I was a little bit afraid that, because they're like, this person does this, this person does that. I was like, I don't, what if they don't guess me? Yeah.

Like, how are they going to know who I, I don't know, you know? I had not ever met Will Arnett before. You know, how is he going to guess me? I'm not, I'm not in his, you know. You're not on. I'm not really in the background at all. Yeah, the radar. That's what I was looking for that word.

Yeah. Yeah. But guess what? But what? Boop. No, what? What does it mean? Boop.

That's you appearing on his radar during the episode. Oh my gosh. And all the way to beep. Beeps. Now you're on the network. Got it. Yeah, man. Sure.

Yeah. You got it. Enemy sub detected. Am I right? I don't think so. I don't. I don't think I'm a friend. It's like, dolphin, slow down the ship.

Don't run over the dolphin in the ocean. That's more of my vibe, not enemy sub. You know what I mean? Talk about the book. It's in paperback now. Yeah. The book is called Life Form. Oh, man.

What do you talk about? I don't want to. What do you mean? Let's just talk. Read me. Eight pages. Can we just. Just read.

Just read me eight pages of the book Just to get a feel for it Not the first eight pages, obviously I know all that already I can't I can't I can't Because I don't want to

But you said it's your second book Do you want to read four from the first book And four from the second book? Just sort of flip like Every other one or something Yeah yeah shuffle them up Are the books friends the books know each other?

Do the books have anything to do with one another? I guess they're both by me. Oh, okay. Same editor, shout out to Jean. I'm detecting a pattern of all your books. Yeah. Yeah. What's next?

What's next? After this, I'm going to take some soup off the stove that I made before this. Okay. And walk me through the flavors of the soup. You know what it is? It's a... Hamburger beans. brown butter

brown butter caramelized shallot tomato and lentil soup so not hamburger beans no but hamburger beets is that what you said hamburger beans hamburger beans hamburger beans

I'm just thinking of soups I'm just thinking of popular soups so when you say hamburger beans are you talking about that it would be a soup that has hamburger are you talking about chili Are you talking about chili? No, I want it served hot.

Chili is hot. Sorry, I love this. Somehow this is like the best thing that it's ever happened to me. Oh, man, I've only just met too soon to say I love you, but so you like it hot, yeah, we know. I mean, if you want chili, I'm not trying to boss you around, but it will be hot, most likely. If it's not, that's not how it's ever traditionally served. Okay, all right. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. I guess you're like, whatever. The soup boss. Move over cake boss. We got the soup boss in town. You know what I mean? I think he said stoop boss, though.

Did you? Well, I'm having a little trouble speaking. As I said, I don't usually have to do the whole show. And really what I think about the dynamic of the show, it is that there is a host. Then there's me, his friend. Oh, that's how you feel about it? And then there's a guest. Okay.

And so, you know, as I've said, I've really never figured out what to do when I don't have him. Uh-huh. And so, forgive me if I say Stoop Boss. Oh, okay. A, totally. B. Which could be a limited series. Stoop Boss. Could Stoop Boss be a limited series, or am I tripping right now?

Am I tripping? Stoop ball sounds like a fucking killer limited series. Can I just ask a couple follow-ups? Okay, you know, what is a situation that I like to? Why does I feel like my computer is like moving around? It does seem like your camera is like. And it's like the camera's moving. Yeah, the camera's like auto-adjusting to you.

I'm not making it do it, but I do notice this happens when I zoom with my therapist. And I'm like, oh, I thought she was like trying to move the computer away from me. But now I realize the computer is doing it and I'm not doing anything wrong. Okay, but here's what I wanted to ask. First, here's what I want to say. One thing that I like to think about a lot is situations that seem like that part in Apollo 13, where they're like, we have to get the astronauts back. But here's all they have, like this tape, this, like, stupid tube, all this stuff. Well, how do we get them back?

This is what they have on board. Remember, do you know that part when they dump the box out? Do you know that? Yeah. I think I talk about this a lot. Yeah. So I'm going to check that out right after this. Okay, so forget what I just said.

That's over. That's totally fucked. Forget it. Okay. What are you like when he's there? Why don't we start with what we know? Well, confession time. Now, I do have to dig deep a little bit and admit that I don't really know what to do when he's here either.

What do you do? But I feel less pressure on what I'm doing. I go, well, no matter what I'm doing, there's somebody hosting the show. Does he think you're the host? No. Okay, all right. Believe me, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Because sometimes I hear him talking about doing the show. And he calls himself the host. Okay. And he maybe calls me the co-host. But the way he says it, you can feel. He doesn't mean that. Oh, man. Yeah.

Or maybe you can feel. yes okay time for me to take responsibility for my language yeah here I am endowing you with an interpretation when I'm really talking about myself right and as a woman I actually can't be the vessel for your uncomfortable feelings and hold them for you which is something I've said to all of my male partners ever and I've I've been divorced before is also a something I'll add and broken up with a lot. But I'm currently marriage. Okay. Well, not a fucking contest. Did you just show me your ring for the people who are listening? Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. I also have. And I'm just saying I also have one. And people,

yeah, well, and people who listen to the show know I don't always wear it while I host. Why? But some days I think I'm going to need it. And wouldn't you know, it came up. Why do you take it off, though? Sometimes it's just like, I need the vibe to be a little different on the show. You know what I mean? Yeah, totally.

There's certain episodes where while I'm hosting those episodes, just during the 46 minutes that I'm in the chair, easy, breezy. I ain't married. That's gross. Just for that episode. Yeah, I hate that. it but your wife doesn't like it either and and you told me that uh we have a friend in common

i'm going to tell on you i'm in an arc just i don't love it hey look she could find out if she wants to listen to one single episode of my podcast does she not listen my husband hasn't listened to ours either not even close it's tough not even close and you know and maybe that's what makes it work I'm a wife guy you you you you you you you you brought up something about um your whole thing and your stuff and I don't want to diminish that but I did have an idea great what if um what if Marcel had a friend who was like a 44-year-old white male podcaster? Uh-huh. What about that?

Could that be something for someone who hasn't really figured out their thing yet? And they now, all their experience is really just being a buddy to someone. who already does have their thing that they do could that then transition pretty seamlessly into you know you got this character so popular huge popular famous character and one way to kind of extend the life

of a character like that is you give them a buddy and maybe the buddy he's like 44 he's a white guy you know he said yes he's like he's you know he's trying different stuff

and maybe what's doing is it's just making Marcel laugh okay sorry so I'm just I'm a little bit confused about what just just to untangle a little bit yeah yeah I think I'm being super clear

but go ahead yeah this is definitely on me I'm the stupid fucking idiot for sure but oh that's a limited series are you am I crazy with all the streamers we can't find room for that I'm a stupid fucking idiot yeah yeah um okay so you're saying this is something you would like to watch well I don't

well are you are you soft pitching yourself in a you're casting yourself me huh me doing it wow I don't want to embarrass you I have yeah I guess I have been trying to get kind of a voice over career off the ground. Mm-hmm. Or on camera. Right. I don't know. Would you think it would look good if I was in there?

Would that look good? I think it's really great to have interesting ideas and to say them out loud. And I feel really happy for you for that because a lot of people just clam up and they never say a darn thing and they just keep everything in. And so what I'm going to say to you right now. now is, I think it's really, really cool to talk about different ideas. And I feel really happy for you that you are talking and you have ideas. She's into it.

So Kevin was like, no way the soup boss liked this idea. But I told him, hey, I got it. I just made one soup. Okay. Okay. And it's not a hamburger being in. But I think, you know, the listeners will know, you know, the truth will out here. You're something of a soup boss.

The way you rattle off those ingredients. And then, by the way, I had said other ingredients, hamburger bean, immediately we're able to identify what kind of soup that would be. What are you talking about? Just say a little bit more about it. Is hamburger bean a vegetable? Is it a legume? Why would I? Why would I be talking about it when you're the one, you're the soup balls?

You were able to immediately, you went to this whole thing, this cold chili, this idea that you had, which I thought was really powerful. You asked if the hamburger bean, which I still don't know what it is, you said, in fact, you said in a way that was very familiar, I wanted hot. you did and I said to you in a way that I kind of when I speak to my daughter about what's going to be for dinner when she's asking for exactly what I've made I say it is served hot that is what it is that's what you're getting except I didn't make hamburger bean because I don't know what hamburger but your daughter even hamburger bean like the rule in your house no matter how hot the food is your daughter I must eat it immediately.

If I feel it. What I'm filling in is that she's going, this is too hot. It's supposed to be. We got a lot of, got a lot of, you need to make this cooler, put an ice cube in it in this household. Yeah.

She's almost five. Too hot. You got to put an ice cube in there, you know. Almost five. Yeah. Instantly, this is something I do on the show. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

She's four. She's four. And I'm just able to do this because I don't usually talk about this. I've got kids. I can always figure it out. So if there's almost this or they just turned this. Right. You know?

I can always figure out. Okay, then that's what they are. It's one of those things you have to be a. Yeah. It's like one of these like sort of like cool like tricks. Have you seen this mentalist guy? Which one? I'm mainly thinking about Oz.

But any mentalist? The wizard of? Oh, okay. He actually also is sort of a mentalist, isn't he? Who is Oz? Oz the mentalist? I don't. Is this real?

Let me put you on real fast. Jenny, let me put you on. And when you're plugging Oz to other people, you're going to be like, you've got to give it up. You've got to give me cred because, like, I'm going to be the one who put you on to this. Oz the mentalist is able to. like he'll be like um think of a name of your friend you know he wouldn't want you to say that i think that would ruin the trick for him okay because he's a mentalist um so like got it so like

that's just you know once you say it that's just he's just listening and that's like that's nice which oh by the way hey as a podcaster i love that right but as a mental Are you a mentalist? I, I, so, so not yet. Oh, okay. But, um, I've actually ordered like a kit and I think that I am going to over the next weeks and months, especially if we don't have haze back, I'm going to kind of pivot this entire thing to just exhibiting my mentalist abilities.

To find him? Because you have his location. I'm just saying he did text. No, I don't know. You're going to find a skeleton. No, I'm not going to find him. What I'm going to do is I'm not going to need him anymore because I'm going to basically be the new Oz.

And by the way, when I froze up during the first intro and I was like, Mr. Whatever, like, and I couldn't come up with anything. Yeah. That might be something where I could be like, Mr. mind brain or you know what i that's not that's not perfect that's just like a first step but like mr you know mind reader thought brain yeah oh oh mind reader you said well okay now now who's now who's put me on wow uh using that stealing that okay mr mind reader okay using that okay using that that's kind of cool

what's going on you got something to do no just the noise that you made was like you were all done God that no no no I was no

no I wasn't I'm not yeah and you're looking behind you also like something else is going on for the dog for the dog that's all That's all. Yeah. You used to dress as a dog on stage, huh?

Yeah. I did. Yeah. What? Did you know that? Yeah. How would anyone know that? I'm a fucking mentalist, babe.

There was a... That's my Oz stuff. There was a character I did named Pamela Dogstein, and she was a kind of a hack comedian who only did jokes about dog stuff, and her catchphrase was throw me a bone and she was bad at it. She was bad at it. That actually, that's messing me up

because I have a character who's kind of a hack podcast host and he has a catchphrase that he does at the end of all his episodes. What is it? Bye. Cute. Did it take a long?

time to develop that recording stop why did the recording stop is at the end of the episode Hollywood handbook that was a headgum podcast what's going on it's Lamorne morris and Hannah Simone and we host the mess around a new girl rewatch podcast now on headgum now here's the thing every single week we chat about an episode of new girl and we really get into it like we get up in there We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our time is on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years.

We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodriguez. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe Day Chanel. Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad.

We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.