Hollywood Handbook - Jesse Farrar, Our Trainwreck Friend

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

The Boys acknowledge that JESSE FARRAR has been in the game for awhile now and decide to upgrade him to solo, main-show status to see how he performs.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a headgum podcast so did you listen to the jenny slate episode um i did a little bit you did listen to it yeah the one without you yeah so you heard it was like extra good or something like do you listen to all of our episodes or like that one you just i decided to listen to because I listen to that one because it was Sean and Jenny Slate. Because of the combination of Sean and Jenny Slate, that's why you listen to it. Yeah. That was why? Because literally, look, people like the episode.

And that's great. That's great for me. It's my show. People liking my show is good. And I helped build whatever you like about it, that's something that I helped build. literally no one until right this moment said that it was that they liked it because I wasn't there and I know you're not saying that exactly

you're just saying that you liked the combination but I can't help but notice that you don't listen to every episode you literally never said that you've listened to an episode before but this one you listened to because it was Sean and Jenny Slay yeah but it's not because you aren't

it was because it was Sean and Jenny Slate. Literally no one said that it was so thank you thank you for admitting that you might like their show Jenny has you like Jenny so much with

other male hosts she has a show called I need you guys with Max Silvestri and Gabe Leadman and it's their group chat they made their group chat a podcast you're not in the group chat i don't i mean like i don't need to be in all these group chats and i have a podcast it's the one that you listen to that's my podcast i wasn't there for that episode but it is my show

i am a co-host of that show even on the episodes where i'm not there it's my show you and Sean's show I texted Max do you know Max Sylvestery I don't okay I texted him do you want to record an ad for your podcast and I would put you on speaker and then like Max and I can be doing like I get our a little of our chemistry going and then maybe comment people say this is the best ad I've ever listened to maybe people come and Let's say they're shipping us. You want to be shipped with Max? It doesn't have to be with Max.

The Max element. And here's, you know, we want to know what happened? I saw the bubbles, text bubble response for about five minutes and then they went away. Oh. A really, it looks like he typed something a really, really long and then decide not to send it. And I think he was probably going to say, it's not really in the spirit of our show, which was about friendship to just, like, send one of us and try to, like, turn different members of our partnership against each other.

I would have said that wasn't really part of our show either. No, not at all. That's what I would have said, too. Not really part of it. They've been friends for over 20 years. Wow, over 20 years. That's the divide. Like, wow.

Listen to I need you guys wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you Text from Kevin 906 Hey so are you close Conversation must have been pretty brutal Before I got out of here Uh huh

Well we were told I got to pull the fire alarm on this thing We were told that you were mid-quietus. Yeah. Are you close? Yeah. And so

we know that that can take a long time. But you asking makes it take longer. Yeah. Well, and asking in that way. Yeah. Are you close is like it's sort of a foot tap expectation.

If Kevin had texted parenthetical whispering are you going to come for me, baby? Sure. Now all of a sudden this is maybe expediting the process. Well, Jesse, you talk about this all the time. Or are you close with fear?

You know what I mean? Like, oh, no, are you close? Because that's your worst nightmare. Why doesn't he say he's close? Why doesn't Kevin say that? Oh, that's interesting. That could be interesting. That could really inspire something.

Because now I'm picking up the pace. at 906. I'm so close right now. Right. I'm close. And you start speeding up. Yeah. And before you know it, you know.

Yeah. Boy, we're kind of doing our thing. If I had. Oh, God. Not a nickel. Speeding up because I heard that Kevin was close. If I had 200,000 dollars. I go, oh, Jesus Christ, man.

Don't tell me that. If you had $200,000, go ahead. Well, it's, I was going to. say if I had a nickel for every time I heard that you don't have 200k but it's really if I had like 200,000 dollars yeah for every time I heard I heard aren't you close I'd be

I'd have about 50,000 bucks yeah just about give me some walking around money yeah oh god pockets bulging a producer coming is really important to a show I'll say that I've learned

in my time in the industry so you yeah you wanted to talk about how long you've been in the game right when you when we first had you on here yeah you had nothing going on babe in the woods i know you were a fucking loser i was i was going why is he here i think you did say that yeah yeah why are you here what are we even going to do like can we release this yeah like who would listen i i i I felt like we need to do so much explaining of who you were. And then every opportunity we gave you to explain who you were, you just talking about getting jerked off at the grocery store.

Right. Yeah. And so we won't do that. Now that you've reminded me, we won't do that this time. Because of the tariffs. Yes. Yeah. I, you know, I think it's, I shared this with Kevin the other day.

Kevin and I are friends. Because you did podcast simulator. So you're the one. Yeah. That's right. Come on. You got that? So you're the one.

Hayes? That should be called friend simulator. Hey, did you hear my joke? Yeah. I thought I was kind of adding on it. Really? It was in the same area, at least. You were playing in the space?

Yeah. I was shared with Kevin that, I don't know, is this like a doughboys thing where you are not allowed to speak about the subreddit at all because it will derail? Is it okay to mention that you have one? Do you know you have one? Yes.

Okay, yeah. Okay, so we can bring it up. Yeah, nothing here is like a doughboys thing. Okay, right. sometimes I'm calibrated for doughboys like what not to say it's like you get that whole like you're going to no I know they have that big like sort of rider that they stand out of like how you need to behave on their show right right but this is sort of more free flowing conversation that occasionally that occasionally and we already did the mature subject so now it can just be now yeah we're talking about coming we'll put a pin in the only we only we only touch on mature subjects occasionally occasionally I was showed him boy we touched on one a lot this morning there's a thread that's what's your favorite handbook train wreck episode okay and this as far as as I can tell this is the most popular thread ever posted in the history of the handbook

so read and I told Kevin I said I had to scroll all the way to the bottom but do you know how proud I am that I know I'll always be in these threads and it is a thread that recurs right like it comes up like once every like six months instead of saying what's a good episode for a new listener to the show yeah it's what's the worst episode you've ever heard what's the messiest you had to scroll all the way to the bottom because it's both a bad episode and not not even one of the more popular episodes right right but crucially at the bottom it says there was one guy who couldn't stop talking about getting jacked off at the grocery store it has minus two.

Yeah. That's why it got downvoted. Is that because it's good or people are just like, don't even talk about this at all. Not even. Yeah. This is not. For the list.

But I don't know which episode it even is. That's what I like about it. Oh, is they just say that one guy who was out of his depth. Yeah. I really like that one. Okay. And I'm sort of like, oh.

It's actually, it's Kaufman-ask. Because there's a lot of people who insist that. the badness of the episode was intentional. Correct. That it was all like by design, the twisted mind of Jesse Farrar. He's a genius and you're not getting it. Yeah, that's something I like about it because I got to say, if that's the case, you had even me fooled during the episode.

As we were doing it, I thought, boy, this is not going well. And that, I was just a puppet on your strings, my friend. You had me dead to rights. And now, yes, now the veil has been lifted for me. Because I was chatting with you before the show. Hayes was a little late. He was having sex. Right.

And I thought the level of commitment this guy brings to this character because even just our conversation, as referenced by his, was so stilted and awkward. It's the prestige. Yeah, I just, for me, it's like, what would an idiot do? imagine I was like this is kind of the purpose I started before it's like the parking lot is sort of like a you know you guys game obviously you know you kind of walk into the zone and it's like there's a cut scene happening you know favorite place in the game right when I step into the zone yeah that's when I'm really playing yeah game starts now now it does and really from there start when I hit the zone yeah time to press start but then you lose all control but then you lose all control control too well I mean the game takes over slippery as walk yeah control is slippery as fuck right yeah I've been yeah I've been doing this thing that I just have to

stop soup to a soup to a slip on that thing that's how you that's how you to a slip on that thing that's how you really get it wet yeah soup on it soup on it soup get that ladle if kevin says get the ladle warp warp soup on that thing yeah i'm about the bus chlorp schlorp yeah oh wow soup toa soup tua um yeah i was just going to say i've been doing this thing this new gaming technique that i think i'm going to stop which is i soak my hands in olive oil for a full 36 hours right before i start to plan Yeah. Because I want my skin to be supple.

Yeah. But unfortunately, you know, I'm lifting immediately out of the vat and then getting onto the controller. You do the gloves, like the. So this is now you're, I'm not afraid to admit, you are beyond even my awareness. Okay. Like, I think I, I think I saw TikTok telling me that this was like the, you know, the best gaming technique, but maybe they didn't

explain it right, or maybe I only saw part one. You might have scrolled away through the... Yeah, so tell me about the gloves. You put your gloves, you put your gloves on, it's an overnight thing. You don't have to do the full 36. And it's not like gloves, gloves. It's an Albertson's bag. Right. And you get a zip tie around your

wrist. Yank that with your teeth. Yeah. Really cinch it shut. Please put the olive oil in for it. If you have a partner, then it's easier. Yeah. But it's like, are they going to be there the next morning to help you take them out? You might as well learn how to do it yourself so you're independent you don't have to do a whole yeah i yeah i have a partner but right well not everybody not staying overnight yeah yeah right you know yeah i have a partner

help me get it on but yeah fact is they're not going to be there when i wake up to take them off the gloves are on the dresser you know there's a reason that the first four letters of that word are part you know what i mean it's a partner it's not a full it's not a stainer yeah yeah yeah although it's part time not full time it can be a stainer it can get there yeah it could be a stainer for sure absolutely could yeah yeah absolutely Kevin text did you stain yet almost I thought I was about to and now I've been interrupted by the Kevin text are you guys good texters oh what can we get can we just stay on you had your glove technique I just don't yeah let's get the glove technique this is so good you don't want to talk about this is the best it's ever

This thread is so good that you're trying to take us down, but I also don't want a loose side of the old one. Did you find that okay? The straw, find it with my mouth? Yeah, it took me a couple stabs. Took me a couple runs at it. This is because this is not your typical straw. Is that right? Well, one of the things I know about you, one of the very few things you've allowed me in on, is that you do have your straw.

Ah, that's a long time ago, I think. I think that's a long time ago. This is the kind of straw I tend to use, this plant. net-based compostable straw, but it feels, you know, somewhat authentic. What's it made out of? Some kind of vegetable. But I brought this straw in because headgum has stopped providing them. So it is very much my straw.

Did you bring this from home? The glass is here, though. The glass was here. And credit to Marty out there, the coal brew was filled, which we were here on Friday. But that's why we And it was empty Speak up, right? Well, he came to say like, hey, leave these guys

alone. Obviously a lot of problems happen a year. There's got more important things to deal with. Yeah, then the coal brew. But he sat in this couch. Colbro's here. We complained about something else here and he said, don't I make sure the cold brew's filled? And I was like, sometimes. Oh. And I was coming. And I was driving in

straw in my hand going, is this a waste to carry this all the way to the office? Because there might not be anything to put it in. Yeah. But sure. enough locked and loaded so the squeaky wheel I'm gonna see if you get the straw in again okay no problem you also dangerous just to hold a straw on your hand this year do you think about stuff like that oh it's all I 302 yeah it's all I think about I do have a people say what's you might think you got a big

skinny oh I didn't even that was not my down a big skinny that wasn't my read while I driving impaired oh no no he's I'm going to get rear-ended and the straw is going to go straight through the center of my skull. Exactly right. I think about that stuff constantly. I can't remember if it's real or if it's something I made up, but did someone get decapitated with skis in the back of the car one time? That was final destination. Okay.

So it can't happen. So many, those metal straws, when everybody was on the metal straws, somebody did, like, fall and have it go, like, straight through their neck or something. That's insane. And it's all I think about it. When I heard about that, I thought about you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because in my mind, you were still the straw guy.

Yeah, and it was one of the rare occasions that I thought about me as well. Right. I'm doing it again right now. Yeah, I'm there. It's not bad. I'm close. Hey. I'm very close.

Gloves? The gloves. Well, I guess for me, it's inspired by one of my favorite novels. Okay. Here we go. American pastoral. Right. Right. Hope Roth, the master.

Right. The scarlet pimple smell. And you put the, so anyways, it's just, it's an expression of love for yourself. And, you know, I don't want to, you understand what the referencing of that is. The glove? The glove is a symbol of. Symbol. Well, it's a contract you make with yourself to show self-love.

Okay. But it's also the part where you allow yourself to, you have to allow yourself to do it. And it's important to do, I think. Okay. and this is something that like Ron Weasley has a As far as I understand yes Okay It was a serious actor now

He has a magic glove or something Right Okay Well he has He has powers But it's like I think his family's poor Uh huh

So it's kind of inspiring I hated that part of the book You wouldn't live in the Weasley house I hated that part of the book It felt like it was full of love It's just like You're making it up Sorry

You're making it up And also don't have all those kids You literally could invent anything. And then you're going to make me so uncomfortable thinking about the Weasley's house. It's just like, oh, I don't want to feel this way. Well, Harry's house is not that great either. Yeah, I hated that. He knows that.

You know what I mean? Like, Ron kind of thinks his house is good. Yeah, Ron thinks it's hitting. Is there a single good house in the Harry Potter universe? And at least with Harry Potter's house, they didn't have all those kids running around. It's just not responsible. Bring a child into that world. You look like you could be one of the.

one of the what death eaters can't we Jesse I I'm trying so hard like you you had a really good thing going dude that's I don't know that's accurate we kept giving you room

just seeing the Reddit thread well don't do it on purpose I'm not I wish I had any that makes it not count to me that doesn't count if you come in and you plan on some of them i think we're planned you wanted to talk about how long you've been in the game and sort of what you've been up to now you got a whole rig at home i have a whole rig at home yeah you got one of those NFL like flying cams going right on your

your playroom yeah it's a workroom um but we have fun but you have a little fun in there we have fun as well yeah look i'm able to work from home so i never have to leave which is nice um and yeah I don't know I it hasn't had any deleterious effects as far as I can tell because I still get out I'm here God man the idea of you not leaving just gave me a chill down my spine how long have you gone without leaving the house you know oh me leaving the house I don't know but just when you said I never have to leave I don't I was like but I need him to leave I don't have to leave just really disturbed me yeah I get what you're talking about but just the collection of words was like yeah i'm picturing having to craft a big like bathroom

trash can to put upside down over this building yeah you know what i mean so it's just like we're just going to leave it there you're thinking of the symbols that you can put on the signs that people can read even into a future where there's no longer english what is it is does the skull mean anything at that point or has the skull changed so much that it's no longer communicating what we want it to it's an interesting level of it's an interesting area of study I'm trying to yeah and think about what expression to put on the skull's face to be like this guy's

just like yeah somebody you want to right maybe these glasses and is the skull me or is it you know but oh my god what do you think oh my gosh

what do you think and we found Hayes's style inspo wow Jesse has had these glasses from it all the way back to that first train wreck of an episode. Have you really had those for a while? This has been a number of years I've been wearing this. And now I look back and it didn't,

Hayes without realizing it burrowed into his brain. This is who I want to be like. Are these, are you? I've never been jacked off in the grocery store. And it's starting to weigh on me. Hollywood handbook. Holiday gift giving can spiral out of control. Brother, you said a mouthful.

Happens to me every year. time to get Kevin something oh Kevin loves drawing let me get him just a new fresh pencil the pencil he's drawing with is is disgusting oh what's you going to sharpen it with let me get him a brand new pencil sharpener oh what's you going to plug it into oh let me get him a new generator great now now I've bought the man a generator a pencil sharpener a pencil and by the way, what's you going to draw on because his arms are completely covered already in all the different shapes

he likes to make. So, let me get him a big skin graft. Extra skin. Lydia has new fresh skin. Almost like a side car. Oh, what clothes is he going to be able to put on this thing?

It's not shaped like... It's not shaped like any traditional body part. Okay. Let me buy him a sewing machine and a bunch of cloth, so he can make new little sort of balloon pockets to put on the sides of his body she has enough to deal with with him she's the only one that so is in the house now come on come on man please it's 2025 these gender roles need a little bit of a shake up oh my wife is out sewing in the back oh what the fuck come on dude You're pissing me off.

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I mean, the two of us are here. Yeah. Some of our wildest fantasies. I mean, yeah. Can I not talk? Can I not talk? I like hearing about this kind of stuff. It's a little out there.

It's a little out there. It's not exactly normal. To me, it's kind of like the more out there the better. I like hearing about wild fantasies. Not exactly normal. Well, you ever heard the expression, it's better to give than to receive. I've heard it and I've actually lived it myself.

Well, there's something particular I've been thinking about giving lately. Okay. I'd like to give it quite a bit. All right. I'm interested in where this is going, certainly. It's getting pretty wild already. Yeah. When I get home, you know, my wife's in their office.

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Wow, this is actually getting a little too wild for me. I think I'm going to have to tap out. You don't mind. You know, my favorite holiday. tradition is actually that's probably pretty common I know this fantasy was wild but my favorite holiday tradition is pretty normal I punch a turkey death right before thanksgiving and that's not the one I eat that's just the one I show to people there's this thing where they part in those turkeys

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Terms and conditions apply. Hollywood Handbook. Jesse, yeah. 6-4-8. nine's let's talk about where in your house is your like is battle stations right you know what i mean yeah is it like separate structure is it down a hallway i don't see clips of like kids knocking on the door would be like daddy like yeah like can you play is that from total disinterest on their part or like guy when the toddler that's so cute we have gone through a lot of trouble to make sure that

we don't have a viral clip. I mean, just period, but also like that where the girl toddles in while he's doing the news. And then the baby came in too. Yeah, very, very funny. Yeah. Because the baby, the heightening of it when the baby wheels in is really good.

But no, I'm upstairs. I'm over my garage space. And I have the streaming battle station on one side. I have the podcasting station on the other side. Sounds like a soft story set up. Structural integrity I'm a little bit worried about. you're saying you're worried about the physical safety of me if it's over the garage right then you don't have the support structure of like interior walls holding you up especially when i know the pounded you put on those floors in there right i'm just thinking about you come crashing down through the garage landing directly on top of your moped collection yeah it's just scary to me like yeah i mean as hay said like the thumping and bumping that you find it necessary to do

while you are podcasting, gaming, whatever you do. Whatever it is. And the stairs, you said we went to a lot of trouble to make sure we don't have a viral moment. First of all, you crashing through the ceiling would be a viral moment. I don't know how much of it you'd see. Secondly, secondly,

the lot of trouble is just that you're at the top of a flight of stairs as far as what you've described. which is, have you just never taught your children to use stairs? There's a number of doorways as well. You mentioned a hallway earlier. Yeah. I can now confirm there is a hallway involved as well. There's a hallway.

Is the number two? The number. A network of moving lasers on the hallway. There's a, yeah. Your toddler is dancing through them. Like the character, Marcel. There's two. the show we talked about we we talked about him way too much we cannot we people are like hey man

you cannot be talking about marcelle the shell this much dog just that was a wake-up call it's reflecting poorly on us how much we bring up marcell the shell we get that we get that too we get that feedback too are you guys still talking about this yeah it's normally not it's not it's not what are those subjects for you it's never well to be Frank it's soup toa it's soup toa yeah it is our producers come yeah that's yeah and that has to stop I do agree that that needs that needs to end you think that or we or it needs to become even more of the show yeah or it needs to become the main part of the show so that everyone knows that's what they're getting into right I think the fact that it sneaks up

on them so much that's the problem yeah that's the problem it's something in the but do you guys write your episode descriptions mm-hmm so maybe there's something in there where you say like tags you know producers come do you do tags yeah yeah when we're writing them we put the tags in i do hashtag fyp that's good oh for clips i mean for no for the episode for the episode too the whole episode is hashtag fyp okay that explains it well that's why you have an active subred for you podcast yeah for the yeah for you podcast so you're you're crashing down through your studio

fire yak pussy I'm close I'm close I'm going You fall onto your moped collection Well I hit one

Yeah and I've You hit the ignition I've parked them in such a way Where one will then hit the next and So on and so forth Which is a funny visual

gag but of course There's no camera there So who's it for And so you're You're As the wheel starts spinning your legs go through them right like a spiralizer goofy style yeah yeah and I'm stretching you get turned into just you being on this show is a stretch yeah right

you know I mean it's the pro version I don't think it's not it's not we up to you Jesse Kevin suggested pro version yeah right yes I said he did yeah he actually we don't have one for this week and we have like 18 episodes of the main feed bank but however however at the same time he is lying to you jessie how many do we have he is lying to you jesse two yeah two maybe three yes we definitely don't have three we yeah i think we have two uh let's say three right now exploration live cool op and uh phoebe okay okay that's okay three that's banked is really a stretch I mean, one comes out tomorrow.

One comes out tomorrow. So, yeah, I consider us having two banked. Yeah. We're on the treadmill and it's, yeah. Is it not just crazy how every week you've got to put one out? And then you go, oh, good, we've got three banked, as Kevin just said. And then tomorrow it'll go, no, you don't. Yeah.

You have two banked. And by the way, one comes out in like six days. Right. And we, there's pressure on us to, like, rotate, have like a variety. of guests where you have like the same six people you're like okay it's right Wednesday today Blungus is on yeah yeah you know it was a train wreck of an episode when you had Blungus every Wednesday every Wednesday the Blungus episode 2019 yeah yeah yeah how do you get guests on your show do you know

motherfucker I don't know but I don't want to know okay because if if I had any more insight into the process I might destroy it because I was just talking about we talked about it with Kulop some of these guests come in yeah some of them are you know

famous accomplished people that don't make me feel good of course not they hate us some of them I go some of them are like well the first time you were here I go who the fuck is this guy turn around blink next day oh this guy's like a you know

this didn't happen with you but all of a sudden like some kind of big deal yeah you know that makes your head man that sucks right and then every once a while there's somebody who I'm like oh my buddy's here like blungus right it's like oh blungus is here and then I go oh let me just hang out are the episodes good no but when I'm doing it I'm not like what are you supposed they're all supposed to be good this thank you no yeah yeah so this episode's not good so what the cul-in't I do a good

one just a couple months ago for you right you can listen to that one again also I know if people run it back yeah there's threads online what's the what's your favorite train wreck episode go listen to one of those you can start it over as soon as you're done some of those are they we got to get those back not for us no we don't pay wall we don't pay wall we don't pay all the old ones okay but your thing now is like you go on cam and you do like a challenge and you'd and it'll be like it's smelly sock night on the stream yes and you like what then you like what then you well so the smell the sock well the problem with the stream you the problem with the stream versus a podcast is is with the podcast you guys show up or sometimes don't and the check clears

and it's fine uh-huh whereas with the stream you do have to turn it on and it's like that pressure of i need to somehow turn those people into cash right right now and so you start looking around the room you go i have chips i have water i have smelly socks sure I'm going to have to get them to pay me to put some of that in my mouth. Yeah. And chips in water, they're probably not going to, they're probably not going to pay as much more. We actually did do chip night and water night, but I understand your point. Yeah.

But that's not the one that Hayes remembered. Hayes immediately was able to summon smelly sock night. Water night, I remember being sort of weird because, like, you just clearly don't drink a lot of water. Right. Yeah. The fact that, like, a whole challenge about you, like, drinking a whole glass of water. Where are the bubbles? Why, why isn't it Mountain Dew colored?

Yeah. Some of it was because we did, it was the me, we did the meos. Do you have meo here? You know, you could have called it. We have, oh, my. Dang, it's hard a shot. Never mind. I won't do it.

I won't do it. Never mind. I don't know why I was going to say anything anyway. You have to admit it was worth it. Yeah. We have, oh, my. my everything does feel a little backwards here so that makes sense delivered so delivered so loud you can tell that he knew he was talking over you I was sitting on it there'd be no reason for

him to be so loud yeah he jumped in but I'm laughing my ass off you know what I mean which is like really that's what the show is about like I'm coming here to laugh have fun with my friends right you know i i to even double all the way back kevin was like we could do a pro version with him i go if i'm going to talk to this guy sure everyone has to listen to it okay have you seen his clip with uh tony and christin and matt they haven't yeah they had this clip go around let me describe this clip for you let's hear it made me a little like a little wistful for like when I when I know he can really like lock in yeah deliver the goods are you pulling it up yeah do you and he knows the one I'm talking about well I've given no

specific that's not good if somebody points at me and goes have you seen the clip with this guy I go your guess is good as mine there's a million clips let's watch some of them we're good let's watch this and compare it to the oh my moment that we just experience. Yeah, I'd be curious to see Kevin just a little more on his best behavior. What's your producer's name? Dan. Daniel. And you're still working with the dog's

boner? I don't Yes, we are, it's a team. We have a whole team. We've done boner. It's like the Avengers for podcasting. Just imagine. Did you write any songs or Stefan's sort of the song? Stephen's sort of the song. Actually, I, he has sent me something but it's for a different show so I couldn't play it here but he has sent me

something it feels good you'll need your headphones for the clip that's a big clip it's a big clip it's a big clip I'm seeing it it's a big clip say this word wrong but it's so vague

how you knew you were say it again vague That is a weird way to pronounce that word. You say it. Vague. Vague.

Yeah. Kevin, you say it. Vajou. Okay. That's the worst. Stop it. See? That's exactly what you want.

He has Vajou in him. Yeah. So who wrote that for you? That was a chef, Kevin, original. And it was right there. It was really, he was right on top of it. Oh, my. Well, it was like...

It's not even a... It's not called Mayo. Here's what's crazy. Not even just that he said Vajou, which is very funny, that when they went to talk to him, he was sort of ready as if... Yes. As if someone might talk to him and he might then respond and be a part of the show. Yes. I've never seen him that ready except to pull up this clip.

What was happening while it happened. You have the clip. Yes. Got the clip up really fast. Yeah. Do you guys, far be it for me, is there any part of you that wonders whether that's something you guys are doing instead of what Kevin is doing?

I'm just imagining after you fall through your studio floor and get spiralized by your moped collection. The dog bone are curling up on your grave. Saying goodbye one last time. Refusing to eat you even though he has no other. way to get food right because you think he won't go before me well i i i think that you're going to be the one that causes the hole in the floor okay but he's not there i i believe that he will be somewhere in the room okay and even if you've after you've been spiralized he's he knows that's not

real noodles i mean i think i think i think what he likes noodles i think what'll maybe happen is he will be downstairs siphoning gas from the mopeds a ritual for him when he knows that you're recording upstairs when he can hear the thumping so he knows you're not coming and then when you come crashing down and get spiralized

then he will sort of let out a soft whimper and just curl up and go to sleep on the julia fries that used to be your body what spit take with the fuel or no spit take with the fuel because he's sucking

the gas. No, I, you know, I understand. I'm not friends with this guy. Yeah. I'm just trying to decide what I want. So, like, you know, like, don't ask me what he's, like, going to do or not do. Yeah. Like, he's your friend.

Yeah. Well, there's a few different ways that can go. My friends are named, like, Peter. You know. My friends aren't named, like, the dog's owner. And who else? Brian, Stewie. Yeah.

the boss mr tweed pat were you there i thought of pat joe were you there for mr tweet or no no what was it like what happened sounds like you remember he was the boss of he was one of the bosses

mr tweet was one of the bosses mr tweed oh mr tweed okay mr tweed was the boss at the toy factory oh okay this was before your time okay great uh lucky there's a family guy jesse and so people go to like a website for what to see you do your thing a lot of people do yeah a lot of people do that that is true and do you have your you have your own sometimes it's just you do you ever just get to get your shit off finally and just get the

dog's boner out of there and like none of the um wonderful musician lyricist stephen um and it's just you alone without your kids around you've locked them somewhere else behind multiple doorways right uh and a set of stairs and you just actually get your shit off in a really significant way this is something i am working on continuously how do you have the thing that you can do by yourself that's not dependent on others yeah um and it's for you it's for everyone but it's for you i think it's important but i don't know how to do it and that's what i'm worried about as i approach because you got ideas i know you do i know you have a lot of thoughts in there i've been working on things i've been working on things yeah you have to have ideas because you're

clearly not listening so something's going on up there right you know and you try to talk about like politics on a stream or whatever sure but then stephen's got to point out that you've got a big snot yo-yo going up and down out of your nose right that was snot night so it was on we spun a wheel yeah for $20 and um and the wheel your body just does whatever the wheel says at this point huh there's some whammies on there that we don't do yeah but we'll re-spin okay uh to be fair because it's for fun and it's um that's work amies that you don't do but you'll re-spin. We will re-spin if we hit a whammy.

Okay. Yeah. There is a joke. Just to make the wheel funny. Yeah. The wheel is content. Yeah. Because that's like a significant portion of the stream is that.

Just reading every item on the wheel. What's it say? Talk about a book. It does not say that. It might say like, smell your chair. Mm-hmm. So that's a $20. That's not a whammy.

Yeah. That one's good. That sounds really good. But I think we're, looking for an example of one of the whammies. Oh, I see. You wants one we wouldn't do. I'd like to hear a whammy that you wouldn't do, that you would re-spin.

Right. That is like, because you're saying it's part of the entertainment part of the stream is just reading off the wheel. Some of the whammies are there just to get a laugh. Oh, imagine if it landed on that. But if it does, you just don't do it. Can we see? And so what's like one of those. Well, I'm also curious, too. I'm curious about that. I think talk about a book was a pitch

of like, you would never do that. I wouldn't. And that's what he, he confirmed that. But I would, yeah, but I wouldn't think to put it on the wheel. Even that. Yeah, even that way. It's not something that would even be considered, but not even as a whammy. It wouldn't be funny. Now let me ask you this. If you were going on like GFA or something, what is that? Good Farm America. Okay. And you were like promoting your stream. Right. They would say like, can we see smell the chair? Yeah. And you would give them a little taste, right? Not of the chair. No. But of you. Smelling it. Smelling it. Because part of the thing is, like, you do a big reaction, right? You're not actually smelling it.

I do it. I know because you're sitting here right now. Right. Like, I know you're not actually smelling it. The smelling the chair. Yes. So, but you do have to pretend to smell it and do like a big reaction for the stream, for the clip. That's what they're paying for.

I mean, how long do you spend working on the noises that you're, You're going to make, like, people don't understand. They go, oh, they just go on the stream and they just hang out. But you got to do all these rehearsals for what sound am I going to make after I smell the chair? Right. And I'm sure you're running through a bunch of options, first in the mirror, then with the cam set up. Well, I have my, you can see watching it back. My kids run lines with me, too.

Mm-hmm. Okay. So I'll sit down after dinner and I'll say, like, okay, pretend this is the chair I'm smelling. And I, I mime it, you know. and then one of my kids will pitch like that's gross okay um and I'll go at about three quarters that's what running lines is that for the stream where you come from for the stream it is yeah okay around here running lines is doing cocaine mm-hmm I wouldn't do that with my kids yeah so let's see just give the chair a little a little smell this one yes

Let me just see how you do it. You want this one to be smelled? Yeah. You got to do this every night. This is daytime, though, but I guess I could... Well, so it would be something like... You've got to make a meal out of it. This is how he fills the whole stream, you know?

Yeah. It would be something like, well, what camera am I on? Well, you can't... That's a chair, so you can't scooch over on it like it's on a couch. You have to turn all the way around, right? That's a very big chair. I've seen the chair. You can't scooch to the side.

You have armrests. You've seen my chair. yes okay we're not friends but he's seen my chair okay he's a ted but Hayes is getting red I did he's a ted but he's seed the chair I didn't know it was like that so you saw my chair but he's a ted but he's seen the chair

you saw my chair but not my glasses why because you only saw me bent over smelling it is that why I didn't know it was you are we what jeans do you have on someone sent me the clip of just like someone whose face I couldn't see smelling the chair and I'm like okay I'll check this out and everything else looking pretty good right

the chair smelling angle you liked what you saw a little like the little demilitarized on between the t-shirt at the top of the jeans yeah I'm looking out over that like Mike Pence no I'm serious face on Get ready to go to war on that thing. My co-hosts beige flag is that he's seen the chair.

Tell me you've smelled the chair without telling me you've smelled the chair. Right. Seen the chair is what we were doing. We were doing seeing the chair. You smell the chair. And then you were, and you started it. You said he's seen the chair. It's my thing.

It was. Then you got it wrong. Yeah. So are you going to smell it? Yeah, I was from all the trade, it would be like, um, it would be something like, um, it'd be something like, there it is. Oh, brother. We're going to need to create a $25 tier again.

Should I do it? Oh, man. You gotta do that. And you see if you get another wheel spin out of it. Oh, my God. And so the money coming in makes a noise. There's oftentimes a funny noise associated. with the money yeah okay yeah so you have to do an extra loud you might have to do it or because of

the sound of the or there's like a song playing the whole time or something yeah yeah so and some or sometimes a visual will pop up and will occlude the chair sniff so now you have to do it again and i'm like oh crap wow not again you guys that's the other thing no no no i don't know if you guys have this there's there's an element to streaming where you almost have to be mad that you're making money doing it or else oh yeah i know of course goche yeah that's right stop listening to my show yeah yeah that they're like yeah that you don't like having to do the things that they're are you guys able to project that you don't like doing the show we would never okay this show is my family yeah right and we have too much respect for the time of the listener

to act like we haven't like prepared for this and that this isn't like... But that it's inconvenient to us in some way. It's just like, well, look, these people are... They have a lot of choices. You know, when you fly? And they say, we know you've got a lot of choice when you fly. And we really appreciate you selecting.

Right. And it's... I was going to say air lingus, but I know you're going to make something out of that. I know you're going to make something out of that are you close but at any rate airline aside

clearly Jesse silhouette but he's doing the jump man logo this airling but isn't the thing with airlines that you don't actually have a choice because you have to go where you're going at like that time like there's not really saying you don't actually have it because they're

say it, but it's not real. When he flew out here to do this podcast, he sat, we got a call from the airline in the man, said the person coming to do our show, like, tried to sit backwards in the chair. Yeah, and said that his rights were being stomped on. Yeah. He's like, oh, okay. I guess it's not a free country anymore. I'm not allowed.

I have no choice as to how I sit in this seat. Well, they're not making them. I have to face the way you want. Yeah. I have to have my name. knees the where you

want. I can't have them up on the seat. I have to get the vaccines you

want me to get just to it's getting insane out there. It's getting insane out there.

You know, always try to make you feel like we appreciate you know, being your selection

whatever it is, whether you're commuting to prison or whether you are in prison. Right. I play it on the, if you're hearing this on the yard and the big tinny speaker. Yeah. If the warden is blasting this over the speakers as a form of punishment.

If you're in the home. Imagine imagine you're in the yard. and you hear Jesse Farrar being talked to put the polys sore one on

oh no no no I mean this is one of my favorite train wreck episodes

breaking rocks into smaller rocks but your thing is more like you're behind glass and

like someone puts a little coin into the side and you smell a chair for them the light goes on in the room that's right

yeah you sort of come to life yeah yeah a little bit yes I think there's more to it than that because sometimes

we might be playing like Sonic Adventure while it happens right that's right so there's there's a multiple there's multiple ways to get your entertainment

on the Go Off King's stream Sonic on the screen is like I just don't. Yeah. I'd rather not. He's looking at the same screen as this. He's looking at his watch.

What happened to? While I sniffed the chair. Who just looked in here? Was that? I think the co-ho, Dan's co-host. Probably, oh, yeah. I was going to say probably Dan, but yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

It's the co-host. Yeah. Why does he need a co-host? What does Dan need a co-host? Yeah, like we're doing a really, like, complex show. And both of us need to be working in tandem all the time. Right. But when I see his show, it's like, you can't do this by yourself?

He has a lot of issues that he needs. It's constant propping up. You have Mad Magazine. Yeah, okay. And my guy got in there. And I was working on, for some reason, what came to my mind was Sassy Magazine. And I thought, well, I'm not going to say this out loud. But if I'd come up with Matt, I probably would have, yeah, I probably would have done it.

He's a goofball. I was cracked over mad. Yeah. Yeah. Sylvester P. Smyth guy, huh? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was mad about cracked.

Right. No, I know. But it was a different time. Well, it's Jesse Ferrar. Yeah, he's here. Please do tune in to watch him smell a chair I'll tell you one thing I like him a lot better than Jesse Close Art

Mm-hmm Yeah But But Hollywood Handbook That was a headgum podcast What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris

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